Episode 44: Journaling your way to clarity, confidence and better stories - with Sally German

00:03 You're listening to The Business of Stories with Susan Paton, showing you how to share stories that do the selling in your business so you don't have to. I'm guessing that if you are listening to this podcast, you know that storytelling is one of the most powerful things that connects us as humans and that when you use it in the right way in your business, it can bring new clients who are absolutely the perfect fit for you But I know that for some of you, what holds you back from making storytelling a key strategy in your business is that you don't think you have enough good stories. I hear it all the time – I don't know what stories to tell or my stories aren't that interesting! And yet after helping hundreds of business owners uncover and share stories over the last decade…I can tell you this

01:04 The problem is not that you don't have enough stories. You have a limitless supply, the problem is you don't know where to find them! You're too close because they are hidden in your experiences – in your decisions and turning points…the lessons you've learned...the challenges you've overcome….and the moments that shaped who you are and how you do what you do. And sometimes you just need a way to uncover them My guest today is Sally German, a journaling coach who helps women in midlife navigate change with more clarity self-trust and emotional freedom. Three years ago Sally joined Storytelling Mastery with a small fledgling membership no one to one clients very little clarity about who her ideal client was and very little confidence in what stories to share

02:05 Today she runs what she calls a proper business with a membership, workshops, retreats and premium one-to-one coaching. In this conversation we talk about Sally's journey over the last three years – what happened when she changed how she was sharing her stories? Why journaling can be a powerful tool for uncovering the stories and insights that are hiding in plain sight and some simple journaling prompts that you can start using today. Here's my chat with Sally. So, Sally it is lovely to have you as a guest on The Business of Stories podcast. Welcome! Hello thank you You are one of the OGs of storytelling whilst you're here like you were there from three years ago so it's lovely to have you on the show and there's lots of things I want to chat to you about because you've had a really interesting journey over that last three years. I know that you didn't have a business when you joined

03:11 And you lacked a lot of clarity about who your idol client was. And I also remember you telling me that, you didn't feel very comfortable at the time sharing anything about yourself, sharing your stories. So I would love to talk to you about all of that as well as how your story has evolved And it is still evolving. And also, you know what your business is and how you use journaling in your work because I know You've done some sessions inside Storytelling Mastery and people have found it really really useful to use journaling To help them unpack and explore their stories Yeah So lots for us to talk about but do you want to start with where you were In June 2023 when you came into Storytelling Mastery

03:59 What your business looked like, what was the biggest challenge for you at that time and what help were you looking for? Wow okay it feels such a long time ago. Three years ago! So much has happened Yeah I'm in a very different place now so yeah when i joined I think I had only just started work um...I'd been qualified as a life coach for a year and I had no clients I'm a freelance and I think I might have just started doing a membership for journaling because journaling had been a really pivotal tool in my own personal life. And so, I thought I'd just do one-off months of journaling and it was really popular and um... So, I kept it going but I didn't know what what I was doing. It felt like it was a bit of a fluke. So when I joined you, yeah, I was really at the very beginnings

04:53 What was the clarity that you were looking for? Because I know you were struggling a bit with even who your ideal client was. Yes, It's a big challenge that I know a lot of people like me have. And, even now it is always evolving but I do know who my ideal client is now which is a relief! But it has taken...it's not an overnight thing

05:31 It's a process of exploring, discovering and also through actually running my business who I attracted. And it is something that you tell us quite a lot that our ideal client is usually us but a few years ago That's where I've come to now. Because of my own personal development, my own journaling and being in your membership, I know exactly who i'm talking to now and that is the version of me eight years ago but it has taken a while to get there. Yeah we're always learning new things about the people that we really love working with yes exactly so

06:15 Who is that idol client and where were you eight years ago? Do you want to share. Yes, I'd love too! So for me the moment of clarity i call it is when I stood up on my 50th birthday party. I had all these friends around me. I've been incredibly unhappy a few years leading up to because it's a big big birthday isn't it and I was like oh what am I doing with my life So I was very unhappy, very unsettled and I stood up to say thank you. And these wise words came out of my mouth which i hadn't prepared and it was focus on what you do have not what you don't have. And then I remember in that moment I made a promise to myself

06:55 And I drew a line in the sand. It was, I'm going to do whatever I need to do to find a way of having a more meaningful life you know being happy and so it was that moment that really changed everything and then from soon after that i did three big life changes. I gave up alcohol, I resigned from my job and I moved to Portugal And I'm not saying everyone should do those big life changes, because it was quite a lot. And then COVID came so that was really the fourth big change but it gave me momentum and focus and I started doing some personal development

07:34 And I started journaling. It's evolved over time, but basically it has helped me find out more about myself and make sense of things like my past. The biggest thing though is that it has helped me notice patterns like the way I used to react to things My behavioural patterns, my thought patterns. And then from that I just built self-awareness and I was able to make some small changes and it's making a promise to yourself to find the way to make it work, to find ways to make change

08:12 And that's really what led me to where I am now because then I realised how incredibly powerful journaling was to me. It really basically helped me discover who I am on a very, very gradual basis since it is not an overnight thing and I really enjoyed it! You know, I just really enjoyed that connection and felt the depth that I've been missing. Then I retrained as a coach Then I introduced journaling into my business and that's really what has given me a business. So it's a bit of a full circle moment, really. Yeah you mentioned where you were when you were 50 at your 50th birthday and you were unhappy and sad is that why when you came into storytelling mastery? You weren't sure what stories to tell yeah i think when you've been alive for 50 years there's a lot of stories

09:09 And I think naturally, I was drawn to the struggle. The difficulties that had been through what I was lacking and what I was missing and it felt quite heavy and sad really so I wasn't attracting my... you know, I attracted some clients but I wanted to use journaling and stories in a more positive way I would attract the women who were at that moment where you know you've got to make a change in your life but just don't know what that change is. So, I sort of shifted the focus from my stories more

09:53 That's that version of me, not the version in the years leading up to that moment. And that's what being in your membership helped me discover and help me move that focus on the stories I was telling when I was attracting more You know, the women who were really ready to work with me. It was a big difference actually. Yeah and it's a really good point because you know the stories of The Challenge and The Struggle are powerful really really powerful but you want to tell them in a way that You attract the right people like you said, you don't necessarily want to attract the people that are maybe still very deep in a struggle and not ready to do the work and make the change so shifting the way that you tell the story.

10:44 Telling it in a way where you are kind of looking back and, you know with fresh perspective and insight and learnings. And sharing how you got through that and what steps you had to take and what moving forward looked like? Yes exactly! That brings up totally different energy just hearing you say that now is lighting me up inside yes yes that's it You know, rather than being in the heaviness of before that. So yeah it's really interesting actually. Yeah and you'll know better than anyone I talk all the time about being the guide, you know? Being the guide in your customer story and often what gives the guide the wisdom and perspective and insights they share

11:34 You know, the value that they bring is that they have walked that path. They have been there but they're now much further on in their journey and they are able to look back and share what they know their client needs to hear what they need to do you know how they need to approach the journey thats in front of them. Absolutely! Yeah, it's quite liberating to be at the end of the path. There is still obviously work to do but I feel like I've been along the path through the jungle and now I'm back and can find that path easily. It's that energy of looking back and saying come with me! Let me hold your hands and take you through it.

12:24 And we talked about this on one of the calls in Storytelling Mastery yesterday, is that you don't have to be the finished product to be able to be the guide. Right? You don't have to be at the end of the journey. In fact none of us are right! We're all a work in progress. We're all evolving. We're all learning So you don't necessarily need to even have all the answers, but what you do need is that perspective that they don't have. Right? So that view of the path that they don't have yet because they haven't walked it and the confidence that you can help them take this journey, take this path

13:07 And deal with whatever comes up because every client's different. People are going to go off track, people are going to get stuck and every client is different so you don't necessarily know when you're working with somebody what that journey is going to look like but being the guide and having that experience or lived experience that you've got means that who are able to help them take the next step You know, reflect back to them when they're going off track. Help them to keep the end goal in mind you know? Keep moving forwards and just helping them to see that they do have what it takes you know... To do this and being there for them every step of the way yeah! And also I think when you have walked the path yourself like you say you don't have

14:03 The Business of Stories, Sally German. And give people hope. Hope is such a powerful emotion and I think that sometimes it can feel quite scary to go on this journey for them, they don't know you know You referred to the jungle there. I talk about taking people through this jungle and they don't know what it looks like, they don't know what's ahead, they don't know you know what's going to happen to them so just being able to reassure them that look you know it's not necessarily going to be easy, it's not gonna necessarily be straightforward but there is a way through

14:58 There is a better way. There is another way to live your life, there is another way to run your business you know it doesn't have to be like this And, you know just taking them by the hand and helping them to keep going even when they can't see what's ahead because you can right? And you can help to guide them. Yeah I love that! Amazing so just going back to when you came into Storytelling Mastery and that's where you were and you weren't sure who your ideal client was You found that the stories that you were sharing weren't necessarily bringing The Business of Stories, Sally German

15:37 So, what do you think was the turning point or were some of the turning points that helped you move on from that point? Get the clarity that you wanted and what does your business look like now? That's a good question. I mean, I think obviously being in storytelling mastery and being with people who are doing the same thing as you writing stories and just going through the process There's no, I don't feel like there are any shortcuts. You have to experiment and have the confidence to try things so that is what I got from being in

16:17 The membership and I don't, you know, wouldn't have been able to got to this place without it. I don't think because, you know, I wanted to explore my own stories and being in the membership actually just helped me make it more focused on bringing in the right clients Yeah absolutely! And that's a big part of it is being prepared to try things So many business owners have this fear Getting it wrong or putting something out there and getting crickets, or putting in a frown and nobody buys it. But it's only when you try these things or share that story or be a little bit vulnerable or put a call to action at the end of your story or whatever it is that you're holding back from I think maybe having that support of people around you that are all doing the same things trying the same things together

17:10 And I think that's what makes you such a good leader and coach because you do You do that in your own business and you inspire us all. And, you know, you are inspiring because you do all those things! I have learned not to worry if i get crickets on my posts because just through experience and just through doing it...I have got clients. When I joined I barely had a business

17:53 I've got a 10k package. I'm amazing! I've got a client and so you know this is such a big change for me It is through, you know learning how to write my stories so I connect but also in a business way and that's also the guidance you give us. This side of things. I've loved watching you evolve and grow over the last three years and yeah your business is in a very different place now. You run retreats, your membership is thriving, you're one-to-one clients

18:30 Yes, you came into the group not that long ago and said I'm going to put a 10k package together. And we did...I think you came and did one of the hot seats didn't you? We had a chat about what that could look like and then it doesn't feel as if only a week or two later you were back in the room saying I've got my first client's bought it! Exactly, that just shows how you know just a bit of focus and confidence. There are clients who want to work with you it's really just finding the way to reach them and create an offer which is another thing you help us do create offers that are right for our ideal clients

19:12 And I know you inspired somebody else in the group to do the same and then they've just come into the group and said that they've sold their first one. So there's lots of celebrations, yeah exactly! Lots of wins going on inside the group at the moment. So, what would you say to somebody who is maybe where you were three years ago and hasn't got that clarity or still waiting for clients to turn up wondering if their business will ever take off? What would you say to them? Well, obviously I would say join your... Thank you. Well, I would! Also because journaling is such a big part of my life, I would give them some prompts and say just start exploring who you are and what your business is. Trust the process, you know? Yes because it is a process that's going to happen overnight and it's so easy to compare yourself with other people

20:13 And I used to think, when will I ever know who my ideal client is? Clarity does come. It's a process And it's a process that you need to look within, right? I think a lot of people just kind of look out and think who is my ideal client. You know they try to come up with it out of thin air but you really need to reflect and that's why actually what you do works and is so aligned with what I do because I'm all about going in unpacking the stories exploring the stories and the clarity always comes from your stories always

20:51 It's about your internal world, not the external world. That is really the main pillar of my work and it is how you look outwards. It's not about the externals – it's all about your internal worlds and how you see things through the lenses that you look through. I totally agree. So talk more about journaling and why it is so powerful and how do you use it in your work? Well, it's such a great question because journaling I think first of all is a life commitment. It's not going to solve anything overnight and a lot of people have very strong preconceptions about journaling before they start and then because they can't meet their expectations they give up. And i like it because it's so simple because it's not about uncovering your childhood traumas you can use it for that but really

21:48 Exploring, noticing and processing. And it can be so helpful in your business It can help bring you clarity You can use lots of different exercises and techniques to help you uncover new information Because if you don't journal you can just move through life until you get to... If you're lucky enough to get to 90 years old and look back and go wow what just happened? That was a blur! If you're able to journal, which could be like once a week. I would just throw out that rule book first of all. Make it work for you and it could be just like one sentence or it could be one word even. Or you can have a little conversation with yourself and its really about connecting

22:37 Connecting to your inner, your internal world. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your feelings you know...your body and all those signals that you would just miss if you didn't take a moment to reflect or pause and it can only take five minutes so I don't know why not everyone's doing it? Yeah! It's really interesting and I'm sure I've told you this before but I have tried journaling so many times in my life But I think you really hit the nail on the head then when you said, you know, I start off with all these expectations and I buy myself a new journal. And I think right, I'm going to do it every night and I'm gonna do it for 20 minutes and I'm gonna unpack my whole day and all my thoughts and then I do it for

23:24 I think three nights is probably the most I've managed. Normally it's one, and then the next night I think I'm too tired and then that's it. And then you think it's not for you right? You see a journal in the drawer again – I am not a journaller that's not me! Then you carry on with life. If you can have a conversation then you can journal. That's how I see it You know, it doesn't have to be every night. It doesn't have to be perfect. You don't have to have a degree in English or write poetry. None of that is important because it's the process of journaling that's important and that could take 30 seconds sitting on the toilet with your journal

24:10 Everyone's got 30 seconds. And I guess you can do it at any time of the day, right? I always think it's something you've go to do at bedtime No! That's what I mean Even if you have like five children under three or something You can still...You go to the toilet Take your journal into the toilet and just spend thirty seconds on the toilet saying oh my goodness this is tough But you're connecting with yourself You know, again it's like bringing your attention inwards and not outsourcing everything externally. You'll feel more in control if you are able to just have that moment

24:48 So inside Storytelling Mastery you have run a couple of sessions to help people to unpack their stories. This is something slightly different, right? This is actually an exercise where people are going to use the process of journaling to help them unpack their stories because sometimes people think I'm gonna sit down and write my story and yes I've got lots of prompts and structures and things to make that as easy as possible for people I've got a really lovely exercise to help identify who your ideal client is because, you know, in marketing you need to be speaking to your ideal client.

25:33 This is a really lovely exercise called Pass the Pen and it's to get fresh perspective. It's called psychological distancing, and it's to help you understand the benefits that your clients get from working with you. And so all you need to do is like get your journal out, get a pen out And your listeners could do this right now if they wanted to. They could close their eyes and take a few deep breaths and step into the persona of their ideal client, so you need to have some idea who that is but step into that persona then start writing So you write Dear Sally, so you write your own name I'm writing to say a massive thank-you because

26:17 And then you do these three things. You talk about the transformation that you went through, you talk about how um you felt this is as the ideal client... you talk about how you felt before you started working with me and then after working with me and then the single most valuable thing they got So there's three things. So that could be the product they bought, the program they went through or just working with you and then when you've written a letter, you read it from a neutral perspective and that's important because you are able to accept all of the praise and positivity from your ideal client when you read it back

27:11 So this is a client that you've worked with? Yes. So I would say if, if you do have some clients, even just one client step into their persona so someone who's worked with you whether it's just for one off session or 12 months So it's a client who has experienced your work, or your product. And then you step into them and you see yourself through their eyes. Do you think it's possible to do that even if you haven't had that experience? To imagine what it would be like for somebody to...

27:56 You know, that's the beauty of being human. We can use our imagination and creativity so... And also this imagination will come from our subconscious. So if you were to do it you would read it back and those things that they write about in the letter will be what you subconsciously want to be giving your ideal clients When you read it back, it's going to be very affirming. It's going to be a very positive experience so yes, you can use your imagination if you're right at the beginning and imagining what your ideal client would be. And what about people who... because I often have people before they come into Storytelling Mastery say, �I don't really have any stories.� My life is not that interesting. Not that much has happened to me

28:45 How could they use journaling to start to see that actually they have lots of stories? Interesting. Well, one thing they could do is what I call like journal for three days. So they take one journal prompt and it could be really simple, even something like today I feel which is in the present but if you were to set aside 10 minutes every day for three days no gaps in between and then just journal on the same prompt for three days and has to be ten minutes because at the end of the third day

29:22 And it could be a prompt that you journal around your business. So today I feel, and it could be when you're journaling about your business, You'll start noticing patterns, you'll start noticing things that come up that are in your subconscious and It's from doing that stream of writing where you can start noticing things and then you notice Things that are repeated and then you can either take that and start working around that, And going a bit deeper around what you've noticed. I think thats the great way to start because you'll be surprised what comes up! You think you haven't got anything to say but you have it's just they're buried It's all buried and you just need to reassure your brain That its safe to do this journaling thing

30:16 And I think doing something like that will reassure your brain and then things will come up. Yeah, and that's so true isn't it? That we need to feel safe We need to feel like this is no one's judging No one's even going to read it right? No-one's gonna read it! So many people have that as their block They don't want to allow themselves To explore their feelings It can be challenging but You know, you're in control. You don't have to journal if something's very sensitive. If you just say okay I'm not ready to go there right now yeah move on and journal about something else so that way and that's how you build trust in any relationship it's the same as

31:01 Respecting, you know. You don't have to force it. Yeah no good point and did you say that you journal on the same prompt for three nights? Yes! Three days so it could be something... Today I feel is a really good one to start because you're bringing your attention inwards immediately about your feelings but it could be something more directed and focused on business. You know you could say I don't have any stories to tell And then just let, yeah that would be quite good actually. And then let the pen flow and it's that stream of thought that eventually something will come up. Yeah absolutely I love that so thank you for those and i know that this month inside Storytelling Mastery we have been doing a 30-day challenge which is to grow your audience

31:50 And everybody was looking at ways to grow their audience. And I know that one of the things that we talked about was having what I call a secret podcast, which you loved the idea off and you jumped straight in and created your own one. So do you want to let us know a little bit about that? Oh, I'd love to because that really lights me up actually. It's called Let's Journal and I love the idea of it being secret. The episodes are five minutes long and there's only five of them in the series so I've done one series... So that's 25 minutes in total! That's not very long. I give my own personal insights around journaling, how it's helped me. I'll give the people prompts or maybe a little exercise and then it's short and sweet! It's been brilliant. It's engaging for the people who are already in my world but I'm getting new people who are starting to notice and get interested

32:46 The feedback has been good. Amazing, and if people want to sign up for your podcast how can they do that? Well yes if you look out for me on socials Sally German coaching Instagram Facebook LinkedIn I'm everywhere amazing and send them the link Lovely. Thank you so much, Sally. It was such an interesting conversation as I knew it would be! Have you got any last wise words or advice or tips for anybody that's listening that thinks okay That is an interesting approach to journaling. I would like to give that a go, what do you think we should do? So yes just two things one thing would be to focus on your internal world rather than your external and if you want a really simple prompt to get started like i said you know treat it as a conversation so just ask yourself these two questions how are you and how are you really

33:48 And that second one will help you just go into a little bit more depth. Nice, lovely I love that thank you so much it's been a lot of fun and i'm sure the prompts you've suggested to get started are going to help lots of people start journaling their way to clarity confidence and better stories thank you so much for sharing those with us I love how Sally suggested throwing the rulebook out when it comes to journaling. Not setting any expectations about how it will go, doing it at a time and in a way that works for you and how its such a great way to start exploring all the stories you have! So as always before I go let me give you a quick action step that you can go away and do

34:42 Here's your action step for today. Sally shared a few journaling prompts that you could use, but a great one to start with is the last one she mentioned so grab a notebook and pen and ask yourself those two questions How are you? And then how are you really? Don't overthink it don't edit yourself Just write whatever comes up. Maybe set a timer for 10 minutes and just keep writing, you might just uncover a story an insight or a next step that was there all along because one of the biggest takeaways from my chat with Sally is that clarity doesn't come from pushing harder or doing more it comes from creating space to listen to yourself

35:28 So that's your action step for today. Start there, ask those two questions and see what comes up and I'll see you next time for more stories that do the selling for you so you don't have to! Thank you so much for being here. I love that we get to do this together! Would you do me a huge favour and please rate, review and follow this podcast in Apple Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts? And i'll see you next time for more honest conversations meaningful connections and of course stories