All The Gear No Idea - The Wrap Up #45

00:00 It's got like a spinny wheel. Oh, there we go. We're live. It's Monday night. Hello. It's hot as hell. And I'm in a strange place. It's actually Glenn's kitchen. For the wrap-up, we are F2F, IRL, for the first time. Welcome to the Team Super Dad wrap-up role theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. And I can see myself on this screen and I can see you there and I can see you here.

00:40 And I know that it's like both it's the same place. But this is wonderful and I love it. And it's the first time ever. And this is amazing. You're muted. What am I muted? What have I done to you? No, wait. I've muted this thing. Like, unmute. Can't unmute your guests because they chose to mute themselves. So I need to unmute on this thing. Oh, no, you are coming out. No, you're muted on there. Yeah, okay, right. Yeah, I'm muted here, but not muted here, which is going through there, which is coming out in there. And I mean, this is crossing the streams moment. This is. That's how I've got so confused. Literally crossing the streams, Ghostbusters. I don't know whether to look at the screen or look you in the eye.

01:25 I keep looking here thinking, should I be directing this to the audience? And I was like, you're here. I can't. I know. No, I'm just going to talk to you. And then let's let the camera work its magic. We think Joe Rogan. They never look at the camera. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. The audience are with us, but they're not purely the people we're talking to. Yeah. So thanks for joining us, everybody who's coming into the live now. I can see you coming in on the screen. If you're wondering, like, what the hell Glenn and I are warbling on about, we are literally face to face in Glenn's kitchen. I mean, I'm going to reach out. I'm going to touch your shot. You can see I'm touching the shot. That's my hand. That's not Johnny's hand. This is so weird. This is really weird.

02:09 I feel like I'm at a school disco or something. I don't quite know what to do. This is why you were single for so long. Well, quite possibly. If I wasn't sweating enough already, I'm now, I think I'm actually perspiring on my forehead. Yeah. So this is the Team Super Dad wrap-up. And welcome. This is episode 45. We're actually on episode 81 of the Team Super Dad podcast. And we do the wrap-up on a Monday now. We wrap up our weekend. Everything that's happened during the week. And during the week, I generally get together with someone more simple and intelligent than you or I. Last week was amazing, the bankruptcy one. Oh, that was just me.

02:52 Yeah, but that was really good. If you haven't watched it online, I'm going to look at you now. If you haven't watched it, have a look. It's a really good. And yes, I know you've done all the caveats of you're not a financial advisor and all that sort of stuff. But the journey you went through and the impact it could have if other people listened to that and learned from it and either took some advice or did things differently. Do it. Watch it. Learn from it. Yeah, thank you. It is a real life experience. And yes, if you go back and watch it, you'll see that. In fact, it's not been out as a podcast. It's in the Team Super Dad. You have to join Team Super Dad. Where do you join Team Super Dad? So if you go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group, you can get access into the group.

03:33 How much does that cost, Johnny? Well, no, nothing. Nothing. No, no. Freebie. Are you sure? Exactly. You can join the Hero Academy. Oh, my God. And there's more. Well, the Hero Academy is our eight-week accelerator turbocharge your dad life. But inside the Team Super Dad group, we're just hanging out, having a laugh. And on a Tuesday, we do a training session. And then so the training stays there for free for artists for about 48 hours. And then it just drifts off into the Hero Academy and becomes basically paid for content. But that how I avoid a bankruptcy one, I think that'll probably stay there because it's such an invaluable conversation.

04:14 It's something that so many dads struggle with. I mean, even when I was not, regardless about being a single dad, just being a married dad, just money is something that people just don't talk about. We're not taught how to do money. And we look, we, the only, I was, I was saying to my daughter, who's just got her first job, the only lessons that I ever got taught as a child was which moneylenders you hide from and which moneylenders you're okay to talk to. And how to genuinely negotiate with a corner shop because you're getting your benefits check in like a week. Now, can I give you some bread and beans and shit in the meantime? That's the money skills I learned. You don't learn the real stuff that's going to stop you getting into that mess. Getting it on tick from the news.

04:53 Yeah, yeah, you have to negotiate with Bill. Yeah. Yeah. But the, the, uh, so that basically you, you can listen. listen to that and find out the premise premise of it, but it's not as bad as what but if it's mainly personal debt basically credit cards and stuff like that. There's there's don't panic, basically. That's the amazing thing. In fact, I'll sum it up in three words or two words. Nothing happens. And when the person who told me all about this told me that, I didn't believe him. And then I did what he told me to do. And sure enough, nothing happened. Yeah, nobody dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:29 So if you are listening, then by all means, please like, subscribe, share, do the whole thing, because we definitely want to spread the word of Team Super Dad to as many dads and families as possible out there. And like I said, this is Glenn and I's ramble through our week, taking the piss, fixing the world, and letting you guys know what we've been up to. When I was in the fiery pit of being the single dad, like the early days, listening to podcasts and having a bit of a laugh was kind of my saving, saving grace, my say, like my luck a lifeline. So if you are listening for the first time, this was always the intention of the wrap-up was that this would be a bit of a laugh, a bit of a lifeline for us all.

06:09 I guess for me, also, as a single dad, as I am now, unhappy for a while, it's also you don't always get to get down to public your meets. And you lose that time when you can just hang out with a bunch of guys and just chat shit. In the end of the day, who goes to a pub with an agenda? You don't. You go there and you don't know what you're going to talk about, but you know, you're going to turn off whatever time you start and you're going to leave. And in between, you don't know what the fuck you're going to talk about, but you end up having a great laugh. And that's what the wrap-up's about. It's just about hanging out with people. And if you're online now, then being able to share your thoughts and be able to share your comments and so on and being part of a conversation with a bunch of guys who just, you don't know what's going on, but you're just going to say some stuff, see where it goes.

06:55 And yeah, just hopefully enjoy a drink along the way. Indeed. And as you can see on the screen now, I'll bring it up in a second. You can comment and ask a question as we're talking along. Sadly, I don't always see them. And some of the, I don't know which channel it is. I think it's on my personal profile. It doesn't come up basically. But yeah, it is ferociously hot, Glenn. We sat here in, where we end, middle of July, middle of July. Freedom Day. It is Freedom Day. Freedom from the oppression of not killing people. Are you free to kill people now? I don't. Well, a lot of people have been asking, what is Freedom Day?

07:40 It's a load of fucking bullshit. I mean, I'm not going to... I like, normally I'd mince my words and I'm middle of the road. You know, I'm fucking lived, Carl Kerry and Lib Dem, but it's a load of fucking bollocks, innit? You know, there were people protesting today about not being in lockdown. We're not in lockdown. They're saying, oh, we don't want to wear masks. You're not having to wear masks. It's like, what the fuck are you protecting? You're protesting to win the freedoms you have now got and you're fighting with police about it. Come on, you knobstake. This is like that bit in Anchorman when the different news teams.

08:21 What are you fighting for? Well, we want masks. Ah, you fucking pagan wankers, mask, twats. Someone else on Twitter. You know, as of today, what's the verdict? Are you going to be masking or unmasking? In high density places, I think I'll wear a mask. In a supermarket, if it's busy, I think I'll wear a mask. Probably out of decency for other people. But then bizarrely, we were talking about going to the match the other day. I'd probably wear the mask on the tube to the match, but probably not wear it at the match. I can see why you do it. For me, it's the science hasn't changed.

09:04 The science is exactly the same. The only thing that's changed is politicians' willingness to give in to the pressure groups. That's it. That's the only thing that's changed. The scientists are still saying, this is bad. This is dangerous. Cases are going up again. Now, yes, they're not resulting nearly as many deaths, but there's still people catching COVID and it's bad. And so if the science hasn't changed, like for me, that still means if the preventative method is wear a mask, I can wear a mask. I mean, it's not going to, it doesn't hurt me at all. I agree. I'll stick a mask on when it's sensible, basically. And I'll be glad not to have to wear one at times when it seemed a bit ridiculous.

09:46 Yeah. Like late night in Tesco's. And there's like clearly me, some random like mum desperately trying to get nappies. nappies in the you know, because she's run out of formula or something. Uh, and an old bloke who's just finished his shift, and the first one person at the tilt and like we've all got a mask on, and it's like this doesn't make sense. But, but uh, yeah, so much ridiculous chit-chat on what do you think? Well, I think it's ridiculous. Of course, it would you would feel different if someone close to you had died, and that's the thing for me. I was like, I read a it's probably apocryphal, but a story about someone in a lift, and uh, they were wearing a mask, and a load of people in the lift weren't wearing a mask. You shouldn't be wearing a mask. It's like you don't need to wear a mask, it's fake.

10:30 Oh, thank God for that. He pulls his mask off and says, Yeah, I can't believe it. Everyone else hates the fact that I've got COVID, but I'm like, you guys don't mind it. And all of a sudden, these guys are walking away from us. That's the point. You don't know if someone's got, you don't know if you've got COVID because some people can be asymptomatic. And so, if you, if you genuinely would snog someone who's got COVID, you know what? Fine, don't wear a mask. If you're that sort of a nut job, go for it. Get yourself out of the gene ball. But the rest of us, it's just about we don't know whether we've got COVID. It's not about protecting ourselves, it's about protecting other people. I'm down with that. Yeah, yeah. And as for the like, let's string Boris up and he's a nutter.

11:14 I think it's summer. I think we've got to go for it to see what happens. Otherwise, yeah, fuck how many people die. I mean, who cares about you? I know that's a bit harsh to say. Do you ever watch any of the old World War II like stuff on history channel and stuff? Occasionally. It is mad what they used to do. They're like, did you know all the British tanks were shit? Yeah, no doubt. All the British tanks didn't work at all, right? So they just made tank after tank. It's like, oh, don't worry, we've got the Mark II Shit's field tank, right? Off we go. You know, Tommy, got a new tank for you. Brilliant. How many? 50? Yeah, get out there. All broke down. All blown up.

11:54 All the German tanks flipping awesome Sherman tanks, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't until the Yanks turned up with their tanks that we started to make progress. For the whole rest of the war, we were just knocking out Robin Reliance with a gun on the front of it. Rodney with a bazooka. A Robin Reliant with a makeshift bazooka on the front. So, so yeah, I think we're a bit like that. Basically, we're just giving it a go, hoping for the best. Yeah. Which some people aren't okay with that. And I'm kind of like a bit sort of British stiff upper lip, sort of like, yeah. And today was my son's. Well, we are in my son's last week of school. It was their leavers barbecue. Yeah. Sports day tomorrow.

12:38 The mum her weekend, they took them down to see friends and family, not seeing them for about a year. Sod's bloody law did a lateral flow on the Friday, had a lovely weekend. Gets the phone call this morning. One of her mates, because she's a teacher, did a lateral flow, tested positive. Oh man, that's awful. How's he feeling? He cried. He cried because he's missing the barbecue. My daughter cried for three hours straight because she's missing sports day. I'm not going to see her for 10 days. But the only thing we can hope is that the proper test comes back negative and then we're all

13:16 good to go. Curiously, it has led to me and the ex having probably one of the friendliest conversations since not just since we broke up because clearly there was a shit bit before we broke up. Probably the friendliest conversation we've had in about eight years. All because they've got to self-isolate. Oh, I mean, you know, silver linings and all that, but that's a very thin silver lining around a fucking big cloud. Yeah, my boy's going to miss his last week of primary school. That is a bit harsh. Yeah, that's awful. My oldest daughter, she's at primary school and it's her last couple of days as well. So she's, we're recording this on a Monday. And so her last day is on a Wednesday.

14:00 And for the last couple of days, for the few, like a month or so, she's been wanting to walk in by herself because she's going to second year. And so she wants to get used to walking by herself. But for the last couple of days, she's like, do you want to walk me to school? And as much as I'd love. I'd love a late. I'm never because I'm never going to say. So my eldest daughter, she's 16. So I took her to her last day of year 11 recently. And I figured, I've got to see this. I'm never going to have the chance to walk my little girl to school again. She's just not going to want that. So I had to say yes. Well, totally. I have made, I made a video on Jay Go's first day at school.

14:45 And it's just super cute. He's five years old. And the video starts. when I watch his video about this is about my first day at school. You won't have heard of it. It's called Jubilee Primary School. And then it goes into it. And then I was going to kind of recreate this. That's just gone to shit now. Well, yeah, but I know that they might do something. Surely they might do some sort of summer get-together, a picnic or something. I know, but to recreate the first day of school video, I'd have to get all the. I'd basically have to, I'd have to get like 100 people together. Oh, like the full thing. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So that's that's been that's been. I'm getting kind of used to this now. I'm getting kind of more comfortable with seeing you like literally

15:28 across the table. I mean, I've got to say, I'm trying not to look in the camera too much because I look like dog shit. I'm sitting here in my, I've got a Barcelona shirt. This is a Barcelona shirt. It's got Ronaldinho on the back. I had to teach my kids who Ronaldinho was because they didn't, they don't appreciate young. Ronaldinho was at his peak in 2006, 700. This is the Brazilian player, kind of thin-faced, bit permy hair on his face. He didn't sign for Real Madrid because he was too ugly. They signed Beckham instead, even though Ronald Dino was a better player. Went to Barcelona, won the ballon d'Or, and was basically the Messi before Messi. The only reason they got rid of him was because he was a party boy and he was going to lead Messi off the rails.

16:07 And but on my uh, in 2006, I got a new job at a local authority in London, uh, Tattlehammits Council. And within like a few months or so, there, I realized my the director of my service was a massive Woolwich fan. Now, this was the year Woolwich made the Champions League final, and so, of course, on the day of the Champions League final, I've turned up on an all-staff meeting with 150 people there, everyone else suited and booted. Me sitting there in a Barcelona shirt because they were playing in the final. And that night, of course, Barcelona not only beat them but beat them quite well. And so I photoshopped. I got pictures of him. He'd been awarding youth work awards to young people.

16:51 I photoshopped him out of that, like awarding things into photos of him awarding Champions League trophy to Ronaldinho and just loads of pictures of the final and just left it on his desk. And people in the office were like, I can't believe you're doing that. That's really, that's really mean. I mean, that's a bit beyond, that's beyond the pale. He totally got it. Totally. Good banter. Exactly. If you're going to be there, I didn't get fired. That's always a measure of how far the banter has been taken. Just for the non-viewing listeners, Glenn's shirt is quite tight, actually. Oh, no, it's tight now. It wasn't tight. No, you're not. But it's really hot today. You must be. I mean, I'm hot.

17:34 I'm steaming. But for the for the Eurofinals last week, I went, I dressed up like Garrow Southgate because obviously I've got putting a waistcoat on. Now, I thought I'd just be able to just grab one of the many waistcoats in my wardrobe and just slip it on. Oh, no, no, no, my friend. I have put on inches for the first time in my life. I don't fit in my wedding suit. Ah, this is not right. I've put on about an inch and a half around the chest and the stomach and everything. Yeah, I am chunky. I told you, I don't want to be the one that says I told you so.

18:16 No, I did. No, I over the last few months, I did say it's happening. You're 40. You're looking at me. You're saying I've got a fat face. No, no, you were like, I'm the fit forever. I'm like, I'm like destined to, you know, I'm like, like, I'm a unicorn, basically. I'm a unicorn. There's well, I found a waistcoat. It just was there's some of them that were skinny fit. Was it the father? I'm no fungus. I definitely have standing up home shirts now. They're the ones where if I sit down, they kind of open up. So we've got to get you fit then. That's what's going to happen.

18:56 How the fuck would I be fit? Maybe we've got to get you fit. Yeah, how am I going to get fit? I haven't got time for this. No, we're going to do a little bit, a little bit easier. Super dad workout. I'm on day four of cycle two. Wait a minute. You were on day 28 last time we spoke or something like that of your what is it the fitness in 30 days super dad workout 30 day uh challenge or 30 day basically 30 day workout and so I got to day 30. No, in fact, yeah, so just because some people might this might be the first, what the fuck are you doing for 30 days? Is this like 30 days of hardcore cycling? What's the one where you stand up and you cycle and you nearly got a spin?

19:34 30 days of spin and shit like that. It could be if you wanted to be, but the point of the 30-day work super dad workout is that whatever level of fitness you're at, that's where you join. So, if you literally can only walk a flipping kilometer, that's what you're going to do. Because if you did it in half an hour last time, now we want to do it in 25 minutes. If you can do five press-ups on your knees, then we're going to work towards 10 press-ups on your knees and one proper one. So, that's like where you're at. Obviously, if you're fit like I am, then it kind of you beat me like three minutes or two minutes or one minute on that 10k run. I mean, that makes you well fit.

20:19 I was the, I was, I was like the teacher at like some sort of out the outdoor sports kind of come on, children. Come on, hurry up. This is your own time you're wasting. I was barely sweating. But, point being, super dad workout, it's like a park run. So, the people at the front of the race can flip in, do a mega time and win the thing. The people who are in the middle are just trying to keep fit, and the people at the back are just like want to be there, want to do something, want to get involved.

20:56 And that's my point: is that all dads have to be doing some kind of fitness? You've got to because it helps you with work, it helps you with your confidence, it helps you with your sex life, it helps. Let's be honest, as a dad, and I don't know if this is your motivation, but for me, and it sounds ridiculous, but I want to be there to see my grandkids, I want to be there to enjoy time with my kids. And so many dads, they just don't even think about it, they just think, yeah, oh, yeah, we'll sort it out, it'll be fine. And then you get really unfit, and it becomes like a proper health issue. And I don't want to get in a position where I can't play football with my kids, and then hopefully, football with my grandchildren. Now, if I can do something now that's going to set me up for them, what the fuck wouldn't I?

21:39 Growing out of your clothes is a measure of I need to get a bit fitter. Oh, let me be clear: this is the these were growing out of my skinny clothes. I've got some, what is it, super, super slim or super skinny shit. I used to think, yeah, I'll show this. I'm at most a medium. So, is this clear? You've been on dates and worn skinny jeans. Oh, yes, yeah, of course. I have and what, and okay, so paint the picture of the outfit. So, so you've beating in a bar, look like I was wearing denim light craft. What kind of hairs are my legs? They're a pointy kind of winkle picker type. But no, I've worn relatively tight because I'm a slender guy.

22:21 Um, you kind of was. I'm hardly fucking a hurricane. No, it's more of a pawn. It's a pawn. I actually now have a like I can sit in here and it's hanging over. It's slightly chubby. Have you gone up in a waist size? No, because it's slightly over that. So, my waist is still there, but I've got some bulk around above that. And the thing is, it's weird. I don't dislike how I look. I just want it to be toned and shit like that. I just want to look like some sort of Greek god. Exactly. Yeah, but then when you, that's the whole point. You don't want to look like a Greek god because that would take a massive amount of effort. Well, well, what? I didn't say I didn't want to put any effort into it. I don't want to do any effort. I just want to look like this.

23:04 If you can click your fingers and make it happen, then I'm signing up. I can. It's about doing it consistently. That's the whole point of the Team Super Dad workout: you're going to just get down, do take 15 minutes exercise each day. Ideally, at least one 5k run or walk in the week. You know, 30 minutes should be anyone's target for 5k, basically. So, if you, if you can, I do, I do 5k in about 2060. Yeah, no, I know that. And this is a message for those people that can't do that. You know, they couch the 5k kind of kind of crew, which is bloody brilliant, by the way. Oh, yeah, the amount of people who have been inspired to just start doing stuff and they've ended up doing absolutely incredible.

23:50 They run way more miles than I've ever done. I have to shut my mouth when people turn back to catch the 5k because I'm like, you can't do a fucking 5k. What are you talking about? And so I have to go all diplomatic. The inner voice says, Johnny, be gracious. Yeah. It's good that they're exercising. Yeah, we're not all like you, my friend. We're not all someone who can just do 30 hours of exercise every day. No, because I do have every single day. It's not diagnosed, but I do have some kind of mild Tourette's. Okay. If there's something that you shouldn't say, my brain, just for kicks. You haven't got the inside voice. No, no, just for kicks. My brain goes, dare you to say that. And I'm like, well, don't even mention that.

24:30 So, for example, a good friend of mine, Justine Watkins, when she was about 12, we get around to her house. And as we arrive, the dad dad says, says, bit awkward. Fox has killed the rabbits. So everyone's a bit upset, right? So we go through to the kitchen and they're cooking something, or it smells a bit burnt, right? So I go, Blimey smells good. What is it, burnt rabbit? Clearly, it's not funny. No, that is funny. No, inappropriate, but not funny. So the lads are laughing, and I'm kind of going, oh no.

25:11 But it just came out. And that's the point. If you say, don't say, don't mention the war, I'm like, you invaded Poland. You know, it just kind of comes out. So, so, yeah. Is that Tourette's? Well, I doubt that. I think it is. Yeah, I mean, it definitely is rudeness. I mean, whether you've got an excuse for it, it's another discussion. Oh, well, that's the sort of thing I've dropped that clanger at weddings as well. I know we've got some weddings coming up, summer weddings, Freedom Day. There's people getting married today with people at the wedding. The classic dad's, well, classic blokes one.

25:52 I was at a friend's wedding. I said to the bride's sister, luckily it wasn't the bride, but I said to the bride's sister, and it was actually sister-in-law. She looked like she was having a baby. No, no, whoa, I just, I know, mate. I know. I mean, I did it. I can see when this is going, you didn't do it. I did. You can't do it. No, there's no way. There's no, you just. She took it quite well. She said, no, I had them about eight months ago. I'm just still really fat. So she just sort of laughed it up. I was more mortified than she was. Yeah. I would have, I just, I don't know what I've done in that situation.

26:29 I mean, you can't dig upwards. The good thing for me is because I've done it so often, I'm okay with how much of a hole I've put myself in. And I just have to kind of fall on the sword and kind of go, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. And equally, I didn't mean it. But also, I'm trying not to laugh as well because I'm trying to. Because it is quite funny. It's quite funny. Yeah. Yeah. And the biggest, I've got to have to avoid this. It's my sister's wedding on Friday. So my sister's getting married on Friday. She's got a five o'clock wedding, which is quite American. You know, I've not been to too many Friday night weddings. Oh, that is quite American. Yeah, it's British.

27:12 If you translate last Sunday's Euros, basically the blokes are going to get together at lunch. This has got disaster written all over it. Yeah, we're getting. Yeah, this is going to be a bad. I mean, I've got my kids that night. Now, after, no, I think I probably shared on the last pod how unhappy my ex-wife was about the fact my son got, we shall say he got merry. It was his first alcohol experience. Not that you're aware of. It's not his first alcohol experience, but his first drunken experience. Okay. And how, yeah, he got a bit drunk and then was

27:54 violently aware of the after effects of that the next day around his mum's house. So it was like, you did a boo in a bag and gave it to someone. How did the fucking movie? Shut that through the door. You can deal with that yourself. But she's, it's normally on a Friday night we do the handover. And this time around, I think she's, I said, look, you can either, we can either do it so you can, you can, I can drop them back to yours or you can have mine. I can stay, they can stay at mine. And so thankfully this time she's going to get them to stay at mine. Not get them. She's allowing me to have my kids for the extra night. And so I'm just going to make my make sure my son doesn't get absolutely so hammered that he's going to vomit everywhere.

28:33 Because I don't want him gluing that shit up. Well, yes, you don't want that. But equally, it's because it's a wedding. Now, I know this isn't a single dad's podcast, but I am a single dad. And I'm turning up to this wedding. Now, I've been to a few weddings since I've been single. And everyone says, oh, weddings are a great place to meet people. How many women do you think single women out of all the women that have attended every wedding that I've been to since I've been thinking over four and a half years? How many single women have there been there? Low. I think very few single women are at weddings because it's a couple steel.

29:15 Even single blokes, you're getting invited because you're family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It messes up the table plan. You've got to like an odd sleeve. And there's been one single woman and she was the mother of the bride and she was not up for it. Yeah, but I had to ask her because she's aware of him. But so one single woman said, I'm going to be, and my brother, my future brother-in-law. to be has been messaging. We've been sorting out stuff for the groom's party and what our roles and what we're doing. And it was like, Can you get this and do this? And so on. And when the first dance comes along, we'll do the first bit. And then, like, halfway through, I'll kind of nod. And then if you could all just grab your missus and join us on a dance floor, mate, what the fuck am I going to do?

29:53 Yeah, thanks. I'm not sensitive about it. How I mean, I could draft people in, but this is a COVID-restricted wedding. And I tell you what, I've popped it onto Twitter. I've had lots of offers of women who would say, Yeah, I'll turn up and just do the dance. But I can't because it's such a COVID-restricted wedding. We can't just invite random people. So I can't even use it as an excuse to get a random woman in to enjoy the evening with me. Oh, that could be what you could like plus, like a plus one strategy. Yeah, yeah. Is this a dating strategy? The plus one strategy. Oh, totally. I would happily invite a plus one if it wasn't COVID. But equally, if anyone out there, any, any, I'll say attracts anyone, you know,

30:39 I fucking love a good wedding. If someone needs a plus one, I'm a bloody brilliant plus one. And I will happily turn up to any wedding. And as long as you give me a bit of a briefing about like how we met and romance, all that sort of shit, what I should know and what I shouldn't know, I will woo the shit out of your family. And so they will keep off your back for months and months about whether you're going out and meeting people. I will just fucking destroy it. It'll be great. It's like a male escort, basically. Yes. I'm happy to be pimped out, people. I mean, I'm looking down the camera saying, yeah, pimp this dad. No, no, but I think to pull her back from that

31:22 line of work, it's a plus one strategy. I think it's a whole new dating strategy. It's called the plus one strategy. And it's a fun way to meet. You look in, you know, there's not like a commitment there either. There's not an awkwardness about being stuck with people. It's just, and those people need some, they want someone fun to go with. Oh, and I'll be the life of the party. Maybe people could leave a review of like how good a plus one you were. Rate my date. Rate, yeah, rate my plus one, yeah. And then is it like an extras, like an advanced section?

32:01 We do a dropdown for extras. Oh, yeah, that's negotiable. Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's that's that's outside of the rates. I'll turn up, I'll turn up for travel rates and a couple of drinks, but you know, beyond that, we have to negotiate. Do you have a rider? So you say, yeah, no travel lodge, no premiering, they have a good buffet premiering. They do, they do, but I've got my reasons. Yeah, Lenny Henry did bad things to me. That is brilliant. Oh, man. Okay. This is a whole new thing. We should start a website. Yeah, yeah. Plus ones.

32:38 Could be a new dating phenomenon. I got set an invite. Obviously, slightly outside of my remit right now, but I got set an invite for a it was a music-based dating app. Oh, yeah. Tell me more. What do you mean? It's like Spotify, are you my guy? No, I'd have to dig out the stuff. It's all in Facebook invites and stuff. You basically, the premise is that if we like the same music, then the kind of places we go, our time of life, age, interest, like music can define so much about a person. And so, so, so, literally, your dating profile is your musical taste. So, what would be if you know you see like your photos, what would be your top five?

33:22 So, either the tracks or albums or artists that you would put down that would absolutely describe who you are as a person. Oh, that's deep. I don't think I can answer that without sitting here for ages and completely ruining the pod or the live stream. But in a slightly different answer to your question, I was thinking the other night about what would my musical, if I was to illustrate my life as a musical timeline, yeah, okay, so it does kind of answer the question. Uh, we were driving in the car, and David Bowie came on. David Bowie or Bowie, would it be Bowie Bowie? I don't know. I don't know. David Bowie, I'd say, I'd say Bowie rather than Bowie. So, let's dance. Put on your red shoes and dance.

34:05 Post-Ziggy Stardust face. Yes. Okay. Whereas I think Ziggy Stardust is the greatest album of all time. I know, but there's a story. Yeah. I got bought a Walkman. No, not the album. I got bought a Walkman at an airport. We were going on a skiing holiday and I was like, What album should I buy? My stepmum said, You should get the David Bowie, Bowie, Let's Dance album or cassette. on cassette on cassette. So that would have been quite an advanced at that time as well. So that wouldn't have been cheap. No, probably not. No, yeah. So that was my first ever cassette album. Oh, really? Yeah. That's amazing. So, but the thing is, so I can go kind of Madness, Aretha Franklin,

34:46 which spun me off into a soul. Yeah, yeah. So spun me off into a soul kind of interest, Otis Redding, Salmon Dave, all those kind of things. If you had a blues and soul, best of, it was all those kind of things. Blues Brothers, the movie, that's how I ended up discovering Aretha Franklin. And then I had a little dabble with some soft rock, heart and Def Leopard. Okay, the one-on-one drummer. Yes. Yeah. Pull some sugar wrong with that album. And then I hated school discs. The whole 80s kind of thing. It just was just, my sister lived with us at the time, just didn't get it at all. Just didn't tune in musically to that at all. Are they still going? Who? School discos.

35:27 I feel like school disc's now were like 2000s and 2010s. I don't know. Well, could be too cool for school for school kids now to have school disco. Yeah, drinking bottles of Thunderbirds or whatever the off-license would sell you in the park. Yeah. Smirnoff Ice. I love Smirnoff Ice. So that's showing your age. There was no such alco pops when I was trying to blag school disco booze off the offee. It was Thunderbirds or basically anything they'd sell you basically. Yeah. Doing swigs in the park. No. So heart, Def Leopard had a didn't that so clearly, thankfully, it didn't stick, didn't stick.

36:09 Okay. A little bit in between there, sort of prince, little bit kind of just influences. Getting more good. And then house music came along and that sort of chat. Oh, there's a little bit of hip-hop in there. Oh, and funk and soul. Yeah, because around the early days of house music and sort of people doing parties and stuff, it was all a mixture of funk and soul and rap, like NWA and Public Enemy and those sorts of types. And then on D-Light, and that's when the house music turned up. God, you know, but that almost segs into kind of garage in some ways as well.

36:51 It kind of bleeds house music kind of there. There was a journey that kind of bled it into garage as it went through. That for me was the because house obviously had its thing, but then it kind of evolved a little bit. Especially in London, which is where you were. Yeah, that was proper East London. Yeah. So did you have a garage thing? Well, it was a garage thing, but the annoying thing is, I didn't get on that way. For me, music when I was growing up, if it had guitars and it was heavy, it was great. It was all about the guitar music and sticky dance floors. And it was either you got the Grungers or you've got the trendies. And the Trendies were the people who were into the garage and the pop music and that sort of shit.

37:33 And my ex used to go to the same school and she was in the same year and classes on what they call Blazing Squad. Yeah, 30 of them were saying, oh, Blazing Squad. I think I was in it, you know. And so I just had this intrinsic hatred of that. But then as life went on, and I look back, looking back, and you're looking at Craig David, you're looking back at that entire Garage era. It's fucking amazing. Great music. It's just so perfectly, you so rarely get this music, which is of its moment, of its time, of its area as well. And it's identifiable as its own genre. And Garage music of that time is just timeless in a way that so much other music isn't.

38:17 So you're going back now and catching up on. And are we talking like proper clubbing underground garage or are we talking a bit mainstream? Well, it started with a mainstream and there is some underground stuff in there. There's some stuff that's slightly less common, but I absolutely loved. But it's definitely a journey that I'm on and I love hearing. So if anyone does know any really cool garage tracks and that sort of thing, tell me, give me these tips, give me these hints, because you don't find them by accident. You have to have someone recommend them to you. So tell me what these things are and I want to listen. I keep posting and keep kind of, there are about two or three Team Super Dad playlists that I keep saying in the group like, oh, let's have your top 10 or whatever.

39:01 Okay. So we'll try and kick this off again. Come on, Team Super Dad. And stop ignoring the playlist posts in the Team Super Dad group. Are they collaborative? Yes, teamsuperdad.com forward slash groups. Get yourself in the group and we'll make a garage, UK garage playlist and we'll do it like as a present for Glenn. I mixed up it. Absolutely love it. Because like the old CDs when you had to write the tracks. I'm thinking old tapes where you write on the tape when Glenn goes straight to old CDs. That's what eight years will do to you. Seven years. Yeah, you've got to burn the CD and write it on there in this weird marker pen and just hope you don't get it wrong.

39:43 That's just even though I'm only seven years older than you. But it's such a difference. So when I went traveling around the world, I had a CD player and on that CD, I got like, you know, the burning CDs used to get like a pack of CDs that you could burn in a kind of a plastic case. Yeah. And so I basically burned a load of CDs because you could burn like two albums onto one disc if you were care, if you know what you're doing. And burned, and I could only take enough music to fill that plastic case. And so I had about 10, 15, 20 albums to take me around the entire globe. Whereas then you go on seven years and you've got spot not Spotify, but you had iTunes.

40:23 You had iPad, yeah, an iPod. And so you had iPods, and so people could take hundreds of albums. And now, when you've got Spotify, you've got every album in the fucking world. And so for me, it detracts because you don't listen to the same album over and over and over again. You don't appreciate it as much. I know. And so when at the weekend, I not weekend. Yes, yesterday I took my girls shopping to get stuff for my sister's wedding. And I said, let's just pop in. We call them treasure shops. They're charity shops. But you know, it's full of treasure. And I said, let's find, let's look at the albums. I found now three vinyl with a pig on the front. It's got a pig on the front. You might do. Yeah, yeah. You might well do. But now three from 1984.

41:05 And it was brilliant. And so you're sitting there thinking, I'm just going to listen to it. And it's a sort of sort of album you would have bought and you would have listened to over and over and over and over again. Totally. I now three track list. I loved the now album back in that time. Annoyingly, though, there'd always be a couple of shit songs that you hated. And then you have to work out how much to fast forward them on your Walkman. Oh, what if they were on a cassette? Yeah. Okay. Okay, so instantly I can see good songs around the reflex.

41:49 It's got some Bob Marley and the Wailers. Oh, love. Oh, White Lions. Two tries. Yeah, yeah. Two tries. Probably top 10 now albums of all time. Obviously, Now 34 is the best. That's that's beyond us. But after Now 34, this is quality.

42:32 Name a couple of the other great tracks. I'm just trying to bring it up, but it's got some weird Google page where it's oh here we go. Oh god, no. I've got a touch. Oh, hit me up before you go, guys. Yeah, a bit of wham on there. Our style counts for the best thing. Yep. Banana Rama, Robert De Niro is waiting. Not a great song, but pop. Not their best, but it was, it's except today. Most of today's now albums are just cack. Cindy Lauper, time after time. Oh, that's a beautiful thing. Good song. I can see there's a Phil Collins song, but it's not one of his best ones.

43:12 It's not, but it is still quite a good one, actually. So obviously, what The Reflex by Juran Jerard. Okay, here we go. Thinking Sister Sledge has got the locomotion on there. White Lines is on there. Nelson Mandela, my son, I was listening to it today with my eight-year-old. And he said, Dad, why are they singing about freeing Nutella? And I said, what are you talking about? He said, yeah, it's free. No, it's free Nelson Mandela. I thought, let's not try and explain the whole thing to him. Especially this week. Have you seen what's going off in South Africa?

43:54 No, I haven't. What do you mean you haven't? I haven't seen what's happening in South Africa. The place has gone mad. Has it? They've like tearing up the whole country. Oh, what? Literally, but they've gone into shopping mall, yeah? Yeah. Looted the whole place. And then it's like the Nike shop, yeah? Not a single thing in there. Not even the fittings in the shop. They're just taking that and then set fire to it. Fuck. The only shop that's. that's not touched, a bookshop. I mean, first of all, you've got to respect them for, I'd like to think they value knowledge. No, they're supposed to stop on a nicket. No, so then they've burnt all the done the same thing to all the supermarkets.

44:33 Now they've, and then all the roads are just covered in like debris and abandoned cars and then they've and then they've all like and I say, oh, South Africa is a big country, right? So massive generalization here. But so then they've headed down to the ports because they're like, there's nothing left in the shops. So we'll go to where they keep the stuff and it comes off the ships. So they've gone down and ransacked all the warehouses and the docks, but smashed with that app as well. So they've smashed up all the infrastructure and madness and scary stuff, like scary because there's just what humans could degenerate into, basically. I think you hope that we thought we'd move past that sort of shit, but it sounds seems like we haven't.

45:16 Well, we can only be a couple of bad lockdowns away from. Yeah, after the toilet roll wars of last year. Well, I know, exactly. Exactly. So, how are we doing on our running order, Glenn? I can see our summer holidays is the summer holidays. Have you planned anything? Well, I hadn't because there's two things. So I'm lucky enough that I get unlimited annual leave. Oh, yes, you keep saying this. I accidentally ask you about this, and then you get to say that. So it's just basically, it feels like you're rubbing it in. Oh, I'm and then so everyone's listening as well.

45:57 They're just punching their dashboard or the middle of the steering wheel. Like if you're listening and you just punch the middle of your steering wheel, I can fully understand that. I've been earning it. I mean, they deserve this. Today, today has been a fucking good day. And I can't go into too much details because we haven't actually got the contract signed. But today, I've won, or I've been told that we've won two government contracts that I've been working on for a month. So two contracts with one shortlisted for another. And another London borough has said they absolutely want to work with us and they're actively pursuing it. And I found an NHS contract and they are desperate to work with us as well. So today has been one of the best professional days I've ever had.

46:40 And I'm sitting here thinking I should be on holiday a lot more often if this is what's happening. Just avoid those South African requests. This is just the UK. So I'm all right with this. Yeah, so I've booked off every week I've got with my kids, which is every other week. So over the summer, I've booked off. So I've got this week I'm off and then next week I'm working. The week after I'm off and so on till September. But are you normal? It doesn't strike me as you being normally. So I've got a couple of mates. I think it's their wives that are actually really organized rather than them. But I think I've booked it off, but I only realized I booked it off last week.

47:19 So I haven't booked anything for this week other than my sister's wedding. And I'm sitting there thinking, I don't want to just sit around with my kids looking at screens all day. I want to book stuff. But you have to book it now. You can't just turn up. And that's the annoying thing. In the past, I'd just turn up and just do shit. But now you have to book it. So I've started looking and thinking, right, what am I going to do? So I booked tickets to Hampton Court. They've got a food and drink festival on the last weekend of August. Now, I happen to be a member of Royal Palaces. I'm one of those twats. I've got English Heritage and National Trust, all that sort of shit. Royal Palace is another one. So you get tickets to Hampton Call and the Tower of London and Kesselwood Palace or whatever.

48:02 And they've got a food festival happening. So I booked a load of kids, like four or five kids' tickets, my kids plus, if they want to take a friend. And I bought two adult tickets. I don't know why, but I thought, let's see if I can find someone. But then realised as I was chatting, I've invited my mum to come and do it. And I know I wish I could find some sexy lady to do it with, but actually, my mum loves doing that sort of shit. She never goes out. She's not a member of anything. And so it's going to be so lovely. She's going to come down from a Friday to the Monday, stay with us for a few days, hopefully do some gardening because I fucking hate gardening and she loves it.

48:41 And clean that giant toilet in the downstairs toilet that I just spinning out of. Well, yes, I'll tell you what, at least that we flushed until last week, that toilet was not flushing properly. And so between my house and next door, we've got a shared drainway and they're doing an extension work. And so next door, they were like, our toilets ain't draining properly. Like, what's going on? As a sand gone in. And so we had someone come around. We pulled the drain covers off. And from like, drains are really deep. It was that far from the top. with fucking shit water and

49:17 whatever. Um, and it turns out the next door has been like doing flushables, flushable webs that aren't flushy, and so they should have clogged it all up and back. And no, none of those flushables are flipping flushable. Yeah, don't flush, don't buy flushables. If you do buy flushables, don't flush them. No, don't. They're totally bad for the environment. Yeah, they're bad. But I wasn't mocking your toilet, but it's an old toilet, and it's just amazing how it's like an old car. One of those big old American cars, yeah. Literally, when I flushed it, it did flush. It was like a bath, about 20 liters of water. All I did was have a piss. I felt bad. This whole house is-I could leave a tennis.

49:57 You should, though. Um, yeah, this whole house is very retro. It was of its moment about 30 years ago, and they never upgraded it. But you know what? It does a job, it keeps the roof over my kids' head. Of course, it does, but it is in it's just interesting how things have evolved. Yeah, like massive toilet. Well, how big's the toilet? Well, obviously, it's a toilet's gonna need to be big. Yeah, yeah, how much water? Well, we don't, we don't, we don't charge for water, we don't measure water, so obviously, we need loads of waters, and not just big avocados as well. All I mean, all the everything in this, this whole house, it's just it's awful.

50:34 You would, you would gut it. You would absolutely, if I bought this place, I would gut it and start again. But we, we had a, when my dad broke up with his with it with our stepmom for a while when we were kids, uh, we rented a house. It was it was bad. We went from like really pucker, cool house, big family house. He picked us up from the airport in an old green Granada estate. Yeah, it was like the Blues Brothers, like Jake flipping says to Elwood, where's the caddy? Well, I said we've come out of the airport and look at my dad, like, where's the Mercedes? He's like, Oh, yeah, got a few things to tell you.

51:16 So, this bathroom at this rented house, yeah, dark green, nice tiles and the suite, like the toilet, the bath, and the sink. Dark green, a dark green bath, toilet, and sink with kind of a jungle kind of effect tiling. God, so basically, a really dark, quite moody bathroom. I see TikTok, and obviously, TikTok like reflects what you're looking for. And so, I loads of my TikTok is like renovations and stuff. And I see people looking at like stuff that was done in the 90s and the 2000s and 2010s, saying, Oh, yeah, this is so old-fashioned. I'm going to gut it and start again. Fuck off! That's three generations newer than mine, and you're getting rid of it.

52:01 Come on, give me a throw me a bone. That's why I'd quite like to get into property development. Oh, definitely would. I don't even know why I haven't. Of all the stupid things to start with, I know, but when you watch these property investment clubs, they're like, Oh, what you need to do would be first of all is be a property sourcer or get someone else's money, buy a property, flip it, give them back their money, and then you're off and running. They make it sound like so easy. It is easy if you've got access to 60 or 70 grand up front. Yeah, that's all you need. Everyone's got an old uncle or something, you know. I wish to be honest, I've I don't know someone who's going to give me 60 grand, clearly, but I part of me thinks it'll be easy to find someone on 60 grand.

52:42 I just need to go and get the knowledge first, yeah. Like, because if it's I could do it, I could absolutely do it. And again, there's these TikTok accounts of people who have just teamed up with someone and just said, you know what, we're going to team up, we're going to make this happen, we're going to do it with buy it and flip it. And they do it. I know I could absolutely renovate a place that I could renovate the shit out of it. And I've got half my time free as well. So, like, what else am I going to do? Yeah, a fat bonus coming, so you're going to be sweet as well. But it's just, you need that, you need that starting point, and it just doesn't happen for most people. So, if people have been listening carefully, right, they will have noticed that we're like, we are basically, it's like a podcast Tinder profile where we've just primed you over the last 45 minutes, you know?

53:28 Got prime me. Yeah, we've got, we've talked about how much fun you are at a wedding. We've talked about how your fitness regime is incoming. We've talked about like you've just dipped in there, like you've got an eye for interior. I can, I know my chintz from my chips. Um, you like to hang out at uh royal palaces and other kinds of social. Cultured as shit, yeah, yeah. Um, you're considerate towards your mother. I love my mum. Yeah, um, your kids' friends like you. Some of them like me, some of them are scared of me. So, this is like, bro, so if you're listening, ladies, husbands of ladies, I also, I think this is a good thing. Rather than the dating apps, which I think are a shocking drain on people's menu. mental health,

54:11 is you ask a friend who knows you and who actually would like you to be happy. You say, do you know anyone single? Because I would like to not be single anymore. And you could put us together. It's going to be fine. Yeah. That's the strategy. Okay. Yeah. I hope I'll have more success through this podcast than I have in four and a half years. I've asked you before how many people my friends have set me up in four and a half years with. Is it low or high? How many? So four and a half years. I know a lot of people. Based on my experience. Yeah. It'll be almost zero. It is zero. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Not a single friend has said, you know what? I think I know the perfect person.

54:55 Whether it's worked out or not is irrelevant, but not a single person has said, I think I know someone I'm going to set you up with. So if we can beat that, I can go for it. Well, one is double zero. Well, I mean, mathematically, we have to talk about this, but I get where you're coming from. You're telling me that's not true. We've got some learning to do. It's infinitely larger. It is. It absolutely is. So one of my girlfriends' best mates who I've known since I was 14. Okay. We had a barbecue on. And we can leave people with this, okay? Because it is an important message.

55:36 So she said, we're having a barbecue on Sunday. We had a few beers at the time. Oh, well, not that many for me, actually. During my whole day, we worked out. I said on Sunday when I was feeling a bit delicate, I was like, oh, I feel a bit hungover. So then Joe said to me, well, how much did you drink? I don't think you drink that much, did you? I said, oh, I think I had about four, maybe five bottles of bud, a can of magnas, and a can of strongbow. Yeah, about the same as my son then. It's about four points across the whole day. Oh, I felt rough. That's the flip side of keeping fit. So then, but later on in the day, one of the friends, mutual friends of my girlfriend and I, she's going, see, I told you you two would get along.

56:18 So I go, well, how long did you tell her that we would get along for? Oh, right. So she was saying that you would have gotten she was trying to take credit for setting us up. Okay. And I, to which I said, well, I pinged her on Facebook dating. Yeah. So, you know, I don't know how that works. And she said, well, I told her long before that that you'd be good together. And I said, well, I saw you at swimming like once a week for about a year and a half. Why didn't you tell me? Transpired, though, that was during her divorce break. So, yeah, a big part of a rain dance is timing. So sometimes you just got to be at the right place at the right time doing the right thing. And it sounds like that was a timing issue more than anything.

57:02 But good women who know you reasonably well will have single friends who they are desperate to meet someone nice. Oh, I hear you. And so dads, if you listen, I think a good strategy is rather than pour too much time and despair into Tinder, etc., is conjure up the kind of person you'd like to be with. Come up with some key points, as we have done for Glenn tonight, about qualities and attributes, interests, musical tastes. Oh, yeah. We have done the whole flipping. Yeah, I've absolutely labelled beer here. Yeah, yeah. So do that and then say to those people, do you know anyone you think that I would get on well with? Because I've got no other idea of how to meet anybody.

57:51 It's a solid tactic, though. A solid tactic. It is indeed. Okay, so dads, give us feedback on that. We want to know how that's gone. I do have a, I want to set you up with a couple of people, but I'm not going to. There's where we go. See, I'm stuck doing solo, solo stuff. So there's this website called Hello Solo. They're brilliant. So if anyone is single and you want to do stuff, which isn't just like speed dating, they do speed dating, but what they do is arrange activities. Companies do arrange activities, do it through them. So if you want to do cliff jumping or anything like that with happens to be with single people, but I've realized I don't just want to do things now.

58:34 I've done so many speed dating things. I've done so many single activities. I just want to do stuff. So I've decided I'm going to start going to cookery classes or painting lessons or fire eating classes or just random shit so that I can just learn stuff and do stuff. And I'm not even sure that. She's connecting some red hot poker down her throat. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, if I get a grief, she can deal with that. But I'm just punching. past the point of even thinking about meeting someone because it's not happening. It's probably not going to happen. So, and it will happen one day, but I'm not, I've done everything I can, and so I'm just going to start doing stuff for myself.

59:18 And if something happens, great. If not, then at least I know how to smoke a piece of ham or whatever it is. I'm just going to learn some shit and see what happens. Yeah. Ah, the runner. Played golf. Bit of golf. Yeah, maybe. I might do some fire walking if I can find somewhere that's going to do fire walking. Team Super Dad's going to do a fire walking. Yes, we are with the Beardy Man Adventure Crew in North Wales. I keep saying September, but September's bloody soon. It is only about six or seven weeks away. Yeah, so it might not be September. Anyway, watch this space for Team Super Dad events. Glenn, this has been fun. It was really uncomfortable to start with. Like a first dance at a school disco, like I said, like, do I put my hand on her ass or whatever?

1:00:04 And now we're just sat across the table. I almost forgot the microphone. I know. It's really good. I've no idea if it's going to bloody work. We did a test run. Only one way to find out. We did a test run. So we are going to press end broadcast in a second. If you've enjoyed this, any listeners, watchers, if you've enjoyed this, or did we get any comments? No, I don't think we did. Because we didn't know if it was going to work, we didn't really tease this out. No. If you're listening on the replay or you're listening on the podcast, let us know how you would like us to tell you that the next episode is out. Because then we can make sure you get it. Basically, you'll get it. You'll get exactly how you want it as easy as you want.

1:00:46 Good to see you, Glenn. Lovely to be seen in person as well. In your kitchen, drinking one of your beers. And I'll see you next week. Hopefully so. Yeah. Team Super Dad out. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at Team Super Dad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.