Topic: Shame

Chris Hemmings addresses the concept of safe spaces and the lack of emotional "toolboxes" provided to men during socialization. He uses a metaphor of asking someone to play a jazz solo on a trombone without training to illustrate why men feel shame when they cannot articulate feelings. He advocates for a more direct, coaching-style approach to therapy for male clients.

The conversation turns to the 1999 comedy American Pie and the realization that the hosts are now older than the "Stifler's Mom" character. Johnny shares an anecdote about his 12-year-old son's first attempt to use a debit card to buy pineapple slices, which resulted in a moment of public embarrassment when the card didn't work initially.

The discussion addresses the common sense of shame and isolation people feel regarding their financial struggles. Rob Schulz emphasizes that financial health varies for everyone and stresses the importance of being honest with spouses and children about money. Jensen links financial stress to relationship breakdowns and high suicide rates among men, advocating for open communication and professional advice as a path to finding solutions.

The conversation addresses the profound sense of failure and shame men often feel when a marriage ends. Fathers frequently struggle with the public nature of divorce, feeling they have let down the friends and family who supported their union. The host emphasizes that even for men still in relationships, understanding these emotional stakes can lead to being a better husband and father.

Boyle explains her decision to stop attending traditional talk therapy, claiming that the 50-minute sessions often re-traumatized her and her husband by bringing up the past without proper resolution. She observed her husband slipping into shame and depression and realized that reliving the betrayal was damaging his ability to be a father. This realization led her to develop a method for telling one's story without re-triggering the original trauma.