No Need For Perfection

00:02 Welcome everybody to the weekender number one. I'm Jonnie Jensen, founder and dad coach at Team Super Dad this weekend at the end of the first week of 2023. And here we are kicking back into all the live streaming and the podcast. Really though, making it scrappy. No more perfectionism, just making it happen. Week one, let's see if we can do 52 weeks. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone.

00:44 You're on Team Super Dad. Yeah, good to see you. Welcome. If you used to listen to the Team Super Dad podcast, I haven't done it for about a year and that's for a whole load of reasons. But rather than focus on, well, you know, I'll tell you what, you get, you get kicked off track, knocked off track, certain times and occasions in life. And I think it was a lot to do with just about focus and time and results, but also about making it perfect. So in that spirit, you know, perfectionism really is the slayer of momentum.

01:24 And so Team Super Dad Live series, it's the weekender. If you're on the Team Super Dad email list, you would have got a email yesterday. You're going to get one every week. If you don't want one every week, tough shit, you can unsubscribe. This really is about men, about dads, about families. It's a journey, sharing my own experiences. There'll be some stuff from inside of the Hero Academy and the work with all the dads that I work with. But aside from all that, it really is a catch-up on a Sunday. 52 weeks. Last year, last year I did,

02:02 going back to 2021, into 2022, I did 396 days of consecutive exercise, some form of exercise. And that stopped last June. It really was. If you've ever seen Forrest Gump, it was like when Forrest is running and he just stops. Everyone's like, where are you going, Forrest? He's like, I'm going home. And to some degree, it was a bit like that. I did actually start to have some problems. My shoulder was really hurting. If you look at the pictures, I was absolutely ripped. Not like WWE type stuff or, you know, but as far as the physique that I want, would like back, you know,

02:46 I think is healthy. I'd never had pecs before or arm definition or ab definition. And so, yeah. But the point being is that it was 396 consecutive days. So why can't I do this every Sunday for the rest of 2023? We shall see. We shall see. But that is certainly the intention. So on today's agenda, right, I've got a few notes here. Back to school. Shit's Creek. Joe, my amazing girlfriend and I watched the last episode of Schitts Creek this week.

03:23 Training for Hyrox, I'll tell you all about that. And if you did get the email, Team Super Dad email, then you would have seen the reference and the talk about planning for your year. So yeah, back to school. Kids gone back to school. My guys are 13 and 11 now. So one's at the last year of primary school in the UK and one's in their second year of secondary school. And it's like they're at this crazy age where they're just morphing constantly in front of my eyes. The bit between them being kids and this really was hard for me. It's like I kind of mourned it basically, but now I'm very much into this new chapter.

04:03 And I am loving it. My daughter is just being incredible. She's so confident and vivacious and genuine. She's pretty bossy and stomps her feet quite a lot, makes an incredible mess when she bakes. But she's non-stop. And she's, as she builds up to the end of primary school, thankfully, she's got a good set of friends. The knobhead teacher that she had to suffer last year is behind her. And she's just growing, literally growing, obviously growing up, growing in different parts of her body.

04:44 And still our relationship is kind of flourishing. She loves to spend time together. We go shopping, coffees, chit-chat. My ex actually met my girlfriend for the first time last week. it would seem that Rose had a fair amount to do with that. So just a wonderful young lady. She had her audition for a dance performance arts scholarship last week and just helping her getting ready for that. You may remember I was part of a singing choir after my divorce. Very healthy thing. I went and picked up some new hobbies and interests and

05:24 joining that choir. I actually learned how to sing quite a bit. So I was actually quite a lot of help for Rose last week. At least I think I was. She may tell you different. And then Jago, you know, secondary school, he's just a teenage boy, literally doesn't know whether he's coming or going half the time. He grew a centimeter in November, and that was on top of the however many centimeters he grew across the year. But we said, are you keep growing? It's like, oh no, I don't know. And then we got the measurement stick with all the different years of height on my aunt or grandma and Gargar's house.

06:01 And yeah, he grew a whole centimeter in November. So going back to school and encouraging our kids when they go back to school and having them recognize their best attributes, their full potential, where perhaps they make clangers, you know, make mistakes, drop clangers consistently. Just talking, speaking into my kids there and having them, as they approach school, waking up and saying, oh, it's good. It's just like bringing that negative attitude and outlook on it, having them realize that that's a choice and that their day isn't going to go any better by having that perspective.

06:42 And so encouraging them to see, like, if there's, you know, like you're going to see your friends or what could you learn this week? Or at the very least, you're one week away from summer holidays or one week, you know, closer to summer holidays. So changing their point of reference, their framing so that they can see as many positives out of school as possible and encouraging Jago particularly just about like respect is earned. It's hard to earn and it's easy to lose. But the difference when you have the respect of people around you, and by the way, all this goes for us adults as well. When you have that respect, when you earn the respect of people, good stuff happens. And it doesn't happen quickly.

07:26 That's the real kicker in life is that we do things and we want results. We do things and we expect something to change instantly. And it really doesn't work that way. It's about those small, consistent steps, the respect that's earned over time. And Jago got a text message from his football, it's like an assistant coach, an older guy, Dickie. He's literally, honestly, he's a blessing. He started working with my boys' football team a couple of seasons ago. And like I said, he's an older guy. And I don't mean any disrespect there. He's just, you know, he's like, you know, one of those wise men in your life, the guy that's got 20 years more experience than us.

08:07 And it's probably, that's probably not 20 years, but if, you know, if I'm 40, he's 60. If I'm 48, he might be a bit older, but I don't know. But it's irrelevant, really, because I had half an hour with him at the boys' Christmas bowling match and in the pub. And he spoke about each and every boy and about what he saw of them and their potential and their shortcomings, but not shortcomings, like, oh, he's no good at this and he's no good at that. But just he spoke about how he has spoken to those lads and encouraged them in that area and helped them see going back to potential, helped them see their full potential.

08:45 So he texted me today and said, you know, he told me he gave Jago a score, a very positive score for his performance in the match today. And just to be able to go back to him and say thank you, like you're a blessing. As a dad, you can only hope that the gaps between what we can do and what our children will listen to are filled by incredible people, by other people, other men, other mentors, other and women, but those role models and mentors in our kids' life that someone steps in and fills the gaps between what we can do as a dad and what our kids need. And Dickie is one of those people.

09:24 So whenever an opportunity arises for you to be that person, then step into it because there's a fulfillment that comes from there from doing stuff for other people. And yeah, so it's also the end of the first week in terms of our business, in terms of your business, in terms of work. It's like, boom, one week gone, 51 left to go. I think that's why life speeds up when we're older, right? It's about being all. organized it's about having a plan it's about having a clear vision of where we're heading i mentioned fulfillment a minute ago and you know fulfillment the the the

10:06 where you how you reach fulfillment it's doing knowing what you want to do and knowing that the work you're doing is taking you towards it okay and by the way if you want to comment you can comment i can see from most destinations i can see comments coming in so give it a word if you want to say anything nice horseshit don't mind um yeah that fulfillment it comes from knowing what you want what where you're headed what you want from life what you want to become what you want to have knowing all of that and knowing that your actions are consistent with that ambition with that intention that that you're making steps towards it it's when you're making it's when your energy is taking you away from

10:51 that goal and that vision that it really starts to weigh heavy on you it's when your efforts to reach that destination aren't working and you're feeling further and further away particularly in relationship or business like this wasn't what i planned you know you it will eat away at you there's a new guide i've made uh called the three reasons business owning dads are burnt out and how to fix it and it it you know if you if you comment um burnout or download um i'll make sure you get a copy of that but it's it's about you know you you can work harder but guess what if you're working harder in the wrong direction you're quickly going to feel worse and worse and worse about yourself so taking time out making a plan of what you want to create this year looking at what it's going to take looking at what your your why is for that and

11:45 why is not just like oh i want more money your why is oh i want more money to do what to to buy a bigger house okay great why do you want to buy a bigger house because i want to have uh quality time with our family and and bring friends around and and um celebrate life there have our you know play with our grandchildren uh in the future like that's that becomes your why for wanting the bigger house and wanting the money to be able to buy the biggest house you've got to have a why that's bigger than than simply everyday things you know getting fit your why for getting fit should be about about living longer about being more productive in work it's about creating uh opportunities for yourself and your family to have fun and make memories that are going to last them a lifetime that's your why for being fit

12:31 so if you haven't made a plan for this year then uh then you really really just it doesn't have to be flipping boring or take i mean it does take time but it's just as you're working through it get a glass of wine sit with someone you love and do it if you're in a relationship sit with that person do it and plan your year out it'll be it's amazing how much more you achieve at the end of the year there's that expression about we underestimate what we can do in uh in a year and overestimate what we can do in a week that's why we're constantly like frantically working hard so get clear on what you can create this year and then make a week by week plan towards achieving it

13:13 so change of direction shit's creek oh my gosh tv i do love tv and i don't i don't like shit tv you know soap operas soap operas are the worst okay soap operas are the worst the news uh i encourage all my dad coach clients and members of the hero academy to minimize their news and media intake it will screw with your mind first of all particularly in this world that we live in now it's all negative and it's predetermined by what you've looked at the day before you know it's not like the old days where you would have to choose bbc one or itv to get your flavor of news you know now if you've clicked on three things that are more left than right you're going to get more left media perspective than you're going to get right politically you know orientated media so

14:07 be very conscious of what what you're watching i don't really do you know soap operas shite i don't really do things that i have a very ingrained it is kind of a fear i guess it's some level of insecurity but it's it's about i'm two wrong rolls the dice away from being uh the east enders christmas special there is that real fear but who also why would you why would you commit x number of hours a week to watching other people's misery that just blows my mind if i'm if i'm going to sit down and watch some tv i want to be entertained i

14:44 want to i don't mind being left with a tear in in my eye if it was something positively emotional, like a happy thought. But more often, more than that, I want to laugh, I want to feel a bit sentimental, I want to celebrate the goodness of life in what I've watched. Shit's Creek. If you haven't watched Shit's Creek, Joe and I sat last night and watched the last episode. We actually celebrated the last episode with a gin and tonic. Uh, it is quality TV. It, it's the characters in it are so beautifully played, they're so consistent, and at times, so utterly cringe-not cringe like extreme, but in the in the awkwardness they create or the or the

15:35 or the mayhem they create in social situations through what they say or how they're behaving. If you haven't seen it, it's a it's a mega-rich family that loses it all, and the only home they've got to go to is you know, is some back end of nowhere town that they they randomly were left owning after everything else had been taken away from them. And the journey that they go on as they rebuild their lives, as they develop their individual personalities and character, and also how they come together. And it's not all mushy, lovey-dovey, high-five stuff, but just over the six series, the family become closer and closer as they evolve, they become

16:21 more successful, they start to piece their life back together. It's it really is a journey, and uh, and the reason I'm sharing it is because A, I want you to go and watch it because it's so good, but B, as you're watching it, well, I think when you're watching any TV, take stuff from it. Like, what how could I be more like that, or how could I be less like that? Noticing things that we that we do where we let ourselves down or where we often listen to our children. Like in Schitts Creek, the family, there's there's a boy and a girl, and obviously, and the mum and the dad, and just noticing, okay, wow, where I've let my kids down in the past, and where I'm stepping up now in ways that I hadn't done before.

17:01 Like, that's like you know, this was one of the one of the consistent threads through the through the program. Um, but yeah, just just beautifully played, beautifully acted, such wonderful little like subtleties that just bring it to life. It's beautifully done. So, uh, yeah, I just loved it, and I guess that's my little tribute to Schitts Creek. Uh, you have to get to know the characters perhaps to start with, but my point being, like I said, is that to learn, to notice stuff about ourselves and how we can be we can become better people. You know, if we're going to sit down and watch stuff, we're going to listen to stuff, there should be an outcome to it, really, of being entertained, being a better person.

17:46 What can we learn from that? Always a learning opportunity. Oh, getting all quite gooey-eyed. I did cry. I did. I did cry. I don't mind saying it. Um, I think I've cried at most things, really. But yeah, it's a great program. It's on Netflix at Schitts Creek. So, fitness, Team Super Dad, crew. You will know that fitness, health, and fitness. It's one of the F5: focus, fitness, finance, family, and fun. Having balance across all those areas of your life, absolutely vital. Core to your happiness, to your success, to your fulfillment.

18:28 Um, I mentioned about the uh 396 days of working out. We're back on the trail. Uh, we've Joe and I have entered high rocks. It's that global phenomena that has, I think, it's come out of nowhere because you know, I don't even know it existed a couple of years ago. Maybe it did, but it's it's global now. You can enter, there's events in the NEC in Birmingham. There's the event at the XL in London. If you're super duper, you might finish in the top 20 and get invited to the European Championships and to the international championships.

19:06 But Joe and I have entered in the mixed doubles. So, today was the first day. I've done bits of the trainings, but today was the day when I pieced it all together. So, it's eight events, eight, it's like a circuit training, eight, I'll list them all, you know, a running, a rowing, the ski urge, where you like you look, you know, people pull the ropes down, um, a farmer's carry, which is probably walking around with weights, burpees, a sled push, sled pull, um, throwing, it's like a squat with a throwing a slam ball up above your head. And in between each event, you have to run a kilometer. kilometer. So,

19:47 Joe, my not only an awesome girlfriend, but an awesome PT for women, a menopause coach. If you're going to be in a relationship, being one that the other person makes your life better. That surely is the recipe for happiness. A relationship should be a bonus to your life. It shouldn't be your whole life. None of us need a relationship. What we need is a good person alongside us, a number one fan, someone that challenges us, lifts us up, someone that helps you be your best. And Joe is that. And so, in Hyrox, we're doing it together.

20:28 Our goal is to get it under 90 minutes. It's in the XL. It's in April. So if you're following me, if you're part on Strava, if you're following me on Instagram, you'll see the pictures most days. And we do have on Strava a Team Super Dad club. So search that up. And yeah, I was absolutely blowing. Sweating. Of course, you're sweating buckets. You know, if you don't go to the gym and sweat buckets, then you're not working hard enough. But to piece it all together was probably the first day I pieced it all together. And it was good. Very good. I've got to get my 5K time once again back down to around 20 minutes.

21:07 I'm yet to beat 20 minutes on my park run. Still, my best time is like 21, just under 21 seconds on the park run. Maidstone Park Run, there's two of them. Inside of the Team Super Dad work, I encourage you. In fact, I do pretty much make it a prerequisite, a hard line. Red line, you got to do, you've got to do your exercise each week. And part of that includes a 5K walk, run, jog. If your knees have shot, then maybe you can go on your bike or swim. But fundamentally, it's the 5K walk, run, or run, or jog.

21:47 And getting yourself under 30 minutes is really essential for whatever your age and a sensible level of health and fitness. Being under 30 minutes is a must. Getting it under 25 minutes or around 25 minutes means that you are actually at a proficient level of health. The caveat to that is that something is better than nothing. You know, park run, if you've ever done park run, there's the oldies, the people with little kids, the people with the old dog, like they're at the back. And then there's some mad 16-year-old at the front who's going to finish it in like 16 minutes. But in between and right up the back, there are all ages, all abilities,

22:32 colors, persuasions, gender, like ages, everyone's there. So get out and do the park run on a Saturday morning. You don't have to go every week either. It's free. It's awesome. It's a great way to manage your health and fitness. And also perhaps the social side of it as well. High rocks, if you want to get involved, will you the April one sold out or fully booked, full up, but you can start to follow Joe and I and get involved in future ones. And on the fitness subject, the dirty rotten scramble is again this June 5k, 10k and 30k. Look out for the notifications about the Team Super Dad squad, whatever distance you want to do, that's absolutely fine.

23:12 But we're going to be gearing up to that day, having a lot of fun. Sam, the organizer, is a dude. And the whole event is like a cross-country trail run. You're in water, you're out of water, uphills, downhills, in creeks. It's, yeah, it's a lot of fun. And I've entered the 30K last year and made it two laps rounds. So I've got to somehow work out how I can get the 30K complete. And we'll use that as a, will be a real celebration this year. Also, we've got firewalking events coming up. There'll be the summer barbecue and the Christmas, the wrap-up in December with the men of the year awards as well.

23:57 So there we go. That's the weekender. Number one done. Whether you're watching this on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, or whether you're listening to the podcast, make sure you subscribe, click the bell for the follow, whatever it takes to make sure that you get the weekender on a weekly basis. Will I let you down? We can all do something, commit to something. I've given up coffee. I've given up the caffeine. So I'm off caffeine at the moment. Look at what you could give up. Look at what you could commit yourself to and consider what that would do for you this year in 2023. My name's Johnny Jensen. This has been the Team Super Dad weekender of 2023, number one.

24:39 I'll see you next week. And yeah, don't forget to subscribe and follow. Brand video, we're out. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at Team Super Dad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.