Episode 32: EASTER FUN 1: Questions from my family

00:54 You're listening to The Business of Stories with Susan Paton, showing you how to share stories that do the selling in your business so you don't have to. This episode is going out at Easter, so I thought I'd do something a bit light-hearted. I thought it would be fun to get members of my family to write down questions that they think I should answer or topics they think I should talk about on the podcast And then I'd put them in a hat, hit record pull a few out and answer them. So it's completely unplanned very different to what i'm used to doing there's actually a lot of planning goes into each episode of this podcast usually. I thought this would be something a bit different bit of an experiment and if you're listening to this it means the experiment must have worked out okay and I've put it out because if it didn't then you won't be so here we go

01:55 Okay, so I'm literally gonna pull one out and open it and see what it is. Okay first question is from my husband And it is What do you do to relax? And I know exactly why he's asked me that question because basically I don't! I don't relax. I don't switch off. I'm really really bad at it So I don't really know how to answer that How do I relax I do love reading. I love reading fiction, but don't do it that often because when i pick a book up and get really engaged in it...I don't put it down and read the book in three days! And then nothing else is done! So I don't do it that often but when I do, I love it although I tend to read crime fiction and crime thrillers so sometimes its not that relaxing. Sometimes I can literally be on edge of my seat

03:00 I do love a good book. I do also go for a massage once a month, in fact i am going for one this afternoon-a 75 minute hot stones massage so i should definitely relax in that and i do have reflexology once a month. I do really struggle with this because i think that i am ADHD...i've never been formally diagnosed i just haven't really I've taken the time to go down that route of getting a diagnosis, but i'm pretty convinced that I am. So my brain never turns off there is always 101 things going through my head and I have a million pieces of paper and notebooks and notes on my phone and voice notes

03:49 Because wherever I am and whatever i'm doing, stuff will come into my head. Whether it's stuff that oh god! I mustn't forget to do that let me go write that down somewhere or ideas come into my head and I think ahh...I've got a capture that you know whether it's an idea for an episode or an idea for an email or some content or something I could do in my group or when I'm working one-on-one with clients The Business of Stories podcast is a

04:26 I really, really find it hard to switch off. And I've tried all sorts of things...I've tried meditation, I've tried journaling, I've tried going on long walks and trying not to think about anything – I mean you can't not think about anything! But try to really calm my mind down but I find that really, really hard So the honest answer is probably that I don't relax certainly I don't relax enough I also don't do enough exercise and i don't move enough which probably doesn't help because, I'd imagine it's a lot easier to relax if you've been for a run or been to the gym or done some exercise. So if any of you have got tips for me on how to relax when you're someone who's just always

05:19 On the go and always got a busy mind, and always got a million-and-one things on my to do list. And really struggle to switch off then yeah let me know what you recommend Although I do have to say living on a farm, if you don't know. I live on a farm down in West Sussex on the south coast of England my husband is a farmer it's a big farm we have lambing and cattle and crops and so it's a 24-7 farm business that is definitely more relaxing than my life in London was right? I lived in London until 2008 when I came down to marry my husband

06:00 And when I'd been down here for a while, I started to notice that I was looking up instead of down. Right? So when you're in London you look down all the time because you don't want to trip over a pavement slab or walk into something. Whereas here I can look up like so I noticed the stars, which i never did when i was in London. I noticed the seasons like the change of seasons like the subtle changes when you're just first starting to go into a new season right? Like the leaves starting to change colour or start falling or... You know just those little subtle changes and notice more of the cycles that you get in a year

06:48 You know, especially on a farm because you get into in fact we're just as I record this and we're just going into lambing season right it's gonna be really really busy. We have about 2 000 lambs born at Easter time then we go into harvest in the summer and you know so there's all these different cycles that I'm much more aware of. I think I'm much more in tune with my surroundings now The stunning views every day. When I go for a walk here, I never take them for granted. I always stop and look down where we are. We're quite high up so when I look down I can actually see all the way down to the coast and I try not to ever stop noticing that you know? I do stop and take that in! So while i'm not great at relaxing

07:42 Okay, let's do another one. Uh... okay this question is from Amy my eldest daughter who is now in her 30s If you could go back in time, what advice would you give yourself at 15 30 and 45? Oh interesting! 15 30 and 45. Okay... At 15 and this actually it helps that I've got a 15 year old my youngest is 15 so at 15 i would say don't panic

08:39 You're only 15. You don't have to have all the answers, you don't have to know what you want to be when you're older, you don't have to know what your life is going to look like, you don't have to know anything! You can just BE 15 and yes choose the subjects that you want to study and think about what you want to do for the next couple of years because you've got a stay in full-time education right? You don't have to make big life decisions at this point. You really don't have to have it all sussed and you can't, you haven't experienced enough to have it all sussed I've done all sorts of things throughout my life To see what I liked and what didn't like And try different things In fact when I came out of school at 16 I had no idea Absolutely no idea what I wanted to do

09:32 So I went to secretarial college because I just did not know what else to do. And I liked organizing things, so I thought I could organize someone's life for them. So that's what I did! I went to Kingston College of Further Education and I did a private secretary diploma and A-level English in business studies—not because I dreamed of being a PA for the rest of my life, although I ended up being one for a lot longer than I ever dreamt. But that's because I went into television and radio and found roles that actually were a lot of fun. I worked for Chris Tarrant for many years and other celebrities including Gabby Logan and her husband Kenny Logan's testimonial year

10:25 I worked in events, I worked in personnel for a little while in a television company. I worked in the press office and went to Capital Radio and worked on The Breakfast Show so they were really interesting jobs and very varied and very different and a lot of fun! At 15, I didn't know that I was going to do that. I just wanted to get some skills that would get me out there in the workplace and then I could explore and see where that took me. So that would definitely be my advice at 15 is just don't try to make huge decisions. Just do the things that you enjoy study the subjects that you enjoy and see where it goes from there. You've got the rest of your life to work it all out! Okay 30

11:16 I would say at 30 is you don't have to stay on the same path, right? Wherever you are at 30, you can review. You can change stuff. You don't have to stay in that job. You don't have to stay on that career path if you don't want to. You don't have to stay in that relationship if it doesn't feel good anymore Like, I think the danger at 30 is we think oh we're supposed to be settled now. We're supposed to either have settled down or settled into a career path. We should have life worked out by 30 right? We've done the 20s, we're going into our 30's...We should have it all worked out and that problem with that thinking like great if you have and great if you love where your life is going

12:10 But if you don't, then it's easy to make the mistake of sticking with it just because it's what you've done. And even though it doesn't quite feel right anymore there is a part of you that thinks well I can't walk away now! I have put so much into this thing or whatever it is right? So sometimes changing stuff is hard and takes courage The Business of Stories

12:58 A habit, anything. Anything that I'm doing when i stop enjoying it...I stop doing it now like okay? I don't enjoy exercise right?! That's why I don't do it! So I'm not saying you've got to love going to the gym or else don't go but for me that's just always been my guiding principle is when something doesn't feel right anymore Stop and reassess. And just because you've been doing it that way for this long doesn't mean you can walk away, you know? You hear about people completely changing career paths walking away from a business closing the business down leaving a marriage moving country

13:44 Huge big life changes and what you don't want to do is carry on in a life that you're not happy with, especially at 30 because you're still so young right? You're what...a third of the way through your life maybe not even that. So definitely at 30 my advice would be Stop and review and make sure that this life that you've created, and that your living feels good and aligned. And makes you happy. And 45! Do you know I would actually say something quite similar? There's definitely a bit of theme here but I completely changed directions at 48. All my life i'v made changes in different areas

14:37 The Business of Stories podcast is brought to you by I had a good life. I had a great career, I worked in television studios and radio and I went to premieres and glamorous balls and events mixed with celebrities and I had a great social life. I lived in London, I was earning great money...I really did have a life that a lot of people would think I was mad to give up but I completely changed everything! I met my husband who was a farmer

15:17 So if I wanted to stay in that relationship, staying in London wasn't an option. So...I left and came to live on a farm. Had my second daughter like in my 40s And really started to reassess everything that I was doing and eventually started a business called The Business of Mums, which then about a year later became The Business of Stories. But storytelling was not even on my radar until I was in my late 40's I was 55 when i wrote my book. So, I would say it's never too late like you can change your story at any time gosh! I've got this far and it's the first time I've mentioned story so yeah there's a bit of a theme coming through all of this advice which is

16:15 But you don't have to have it all worked out and you don't have to stay on a path that no longer feels like the right path for you. Despite what it looks like when you look out there, and you go on social media nobody really has it all sussed right? So my advice is listen to yourself Listen to your body, listen to the nudges. Notice what feels good and what doesn't and don't do things just because it's what other people expect Don't do what other people think you should do

16:55 Just be you. And also, take time to understand yourself. Understand who you are. Understand what makes you tick? What gives your energy? What drains your energy? What feels important? What doesn't feel important? The people you want to be around... the people you don't want to be around… The things that light you up… the things that bring you joy….the things you hate And I've really found by tuning into that over the last few years has really helped me to lean into who i am, my energy. The environment that works for me the people that energize me how my brain works how it doesn't work who i am what i'm about The more i've understood that in the last few years the more i've relaxed

17:48 Who I am and embraced it, found the strengths in it and explored it. And felt more compassionate towards myself because of it. And we go through life thinking that we're supposed to show up a certain way, be a certain person, act a certain way or talk a certain way but what if you're not? What if you could just be YOU And stop worrying what other people think, stop worrying about what you think you should or shouldn't do and just do what feels good. So yeah I feel like i probably gave the same answer for all three in slightly different ways depending on what age I was but I continue to think like that really. I love working with my clients the way that I do. I loved doing this podcast but if I stopped loving it then

18:45 If you could go back to one or two specific days in your life, what days would you go back to and why? Because I always think I wouldn't change anything if i went back because everything I've done has made me who I am today, right? So I'm not someone who lives with regrets. Although I have made some big mistakes in my life but there's also been big lessons from those mistakes right so I'm not someone who would want to go back and change stuff

19:39 Well, I mean maybe some of the really embarrassing stuff. But even that right? I wouldn't change it's who i am but you didn't ask me like... You asked me what day would I go back to and why well one of the days I would go back to is the day I wrote my password for my bitcoin down because I have no idea where I wrote it And we've sat and watched Bitcoin go up, and come back down and go back up again. But I have never been able to do anything about it because I cannot find the password! That is because like i said earlier my life is surrounded by bits of paper and notes and voice notes and notebooks and notes on my phone and notes on my computer and notes on my desktop and notes on my laptop so who knows? Who knows where I put it? Sadly not me

20:28 So, yes that would be a good day to go back to so I could make a note of where I've written it and then put it somewhere safe. But let me think about another one... So, I would go back to my wedding day and I know thats probably a bit corny but I loved my wedding although it wasn't one day its three days We had a three-day wedding because I just didn't want to cram it all into one day. There were so many things i wanted to do and I didn't want to cram it all into one day and then it will be over so quickly, So we had a three-day wedding Day 3 we had a big marquee at the farm, we had caterers in, we had music, we had bouncy castles, we had a spit roast, we had a hog roast

21:20 So it's quite a big affair. That was a lot of fun, my husband and I and nobody in a million years would have suspected this we had worked with the choreographer and actually had a dance routine for our first dance which wasn't so much the done thing in how many years ago is that yeah about 19 no 17 17 years 2009 but we had practiced this dance for weeks and nobody knew it was coming absolutely nobody And then so we, you know everybody was there and then the music started and then they called us up for our first dance. And then we started very stiffly and awkwardly just sort of holding each other like everybody probably expected us to. And then we broke into this dance routine and we did it to take that greatest day right? That was a song that we played

22:14 The Business of Stories podcast is brought to you by the Business of Stories. So we did and it was brilliant. But what's funny now, this was 2009 nobody took a video of it! We didn't have a videographer on the day we only had photos but like now that would be everybody would have got it on their camera it would've been all over social media but back then not a single person took a video so we don't actually have any footage of that dance we don't have any proof that we did it

22:53 Other than the people at our wedding, who to this day still bring it up and say how brilliant it was. So actually, in answer to your question if I was going to go back to a day that's the day i would go back too and I would get somebody to video the dance for my wedding. Can you imagine if I put that on social media now? That would probably go viral! A farmer and a London girl doing a dance to take that at their wedding but anyway... That is the day I would go back to yes and that's what I would do. I would ask somebody to um video it So, that was a lot of fun. I know it's not necessarily about storytelling in business but as someone who brings everything back to storytelling in the end, it does just show you how many stories you have when you start

23:44 Go back, right? All the stuff I've shared in this episode. I absolutely could go back and share lots and lots of stories and moments and memories and thoughts and reflections and insights from just answering those three questions that I've answered so it just goes to show that you have a lot more stories than you think but anyway...I hope you enjoyed that episode as much as i enjoyed recording So, as always before I go let me give you a quick action step that you can go away and do. Here's your action step for today

24:38 Choose one of the questions I answered in this episode and use it to share something about you. Whether that's what you do to relax, what advice you would give yourself at 15 or 30 or 45 obviously depending on what age you are now! Or what specific day you'd love to go back to and why? Just a bit of fun content over Easter Choose one of those questions and answer it.

25:27 Either what do you do to relax? What advice would you give your younger self at whatever age or what specific day you'd love to go back and why. And I'll see you next time for more stories that do the selling for you so you don't have too! Thank you so much for being here. I love that we get to do this together! Would you do me a huge favour and please rate, review and follow this podcast in Apple Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts? And i'll see you next time for more honest conversations meaningful connections and of course stories