Topic: Denial

The emotional turbulence of divorce is framed through the six stages of grieving, utilizing the Kubler-Ross model updated by David Kessler in 2019. These stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and meaning—are described as a non-linear cycle that men must navigate to find clarity. Understanding these psychological shifts helps men realize that fluctuating emotions, from relief to despair, are a natural part of the recovery process.

Jensen outlines the five stages of the Kubler-Ross grief cycle—denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance—as they apply to the loss of a family unit and home. He notes that the process is not linear and that men may jump between stages frequently during a breakup. Understanding these psychological phases is presented as a tool for maintaining stability and preventing a total personal collapse.

Boyle and Jensen discuss how couples often share the same reactive patterns, such as denial or defensiveness, even if they manifest differently. They address the common tendency for partners to label each other as narcissists during a breakup, noting that such labels are often a way to numb one's own feelings. By loosening these shared patterns, both individuals gain the "wiggle room" necessary for personal and relational growth.