The Wrap Up #23

00:00 It's that time again. Dads, stepdads, granddads, friends of dads, even mums. It's the wrap-up. Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Welcome, welcome. It's the wrap-up. It's Team Super Dad here. Welcome, friends, family, members, Team Super Dad members all around the world. It is 2021 and we are back with the first wrap-up of the year. If you've not joined us before, then bloody welcome to you.

00:41 And if you're back, even better, because that must mean you are kind of enjoying it. Either that or you're twisted and like doing things you don't like. So good to have you here. As you know, we are on Streamline, which means whatever you're watching, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, you can comment and we will see it coming into the comments. Team Super Dad community is alive and well and over at teamsuperdad.com. So if you are a dad, a busy dad, a worn-out dad, a dad who wants more from life, then come on over and join in and be part of the community. We are creating our best lives ever, living the life we want to live rather than being stuck in the life that we do not like.

01:20 And through our F5 focus, fitness, finance, family, and fun, we've got all the coaches, training, firewalking events when we're allowed to meet up again. It really is kicking off in there. So come on over and join us. Now, the wrap-up is something that I've done. Literally, this is the 23rd time. And in the last few weeks, ta-da! We've managed to get, we're building up a team really for the wrap-up. And Glenn, aka a dating dad over on Twitter, has is not just with me here. Turns out he lives around the corner. Pretty much. I've been stalking you. My entire life has been building towards working with you.

02:00 And hilariously, we've worn almost identical t-shirts today as well. So that's team, the memo. Well done for reading the memo. That's good. Yeah, mine was a Secret Santa gift a couple of years ago. And I've never had a Secret Santa gift where they've thought you've absolutely nailed this more than this one. You know why? It's because most people don't give a toss about the Secret Santa gifts, which I really resent, actually, as being someone who likes to put a little bit of thought into their Secret Santa gift. So for those who are listening, rather than watching for whatever reason, I've got a teacher on that just says, Tinder, completed it, mate, which I love. And I wear all the time. It's when I get the most looked at in the supermarket. And by the way, you may hear some noises in the background.

02:42 I'm called a dating dad on Twitter and Instagram and everywhere because of the dad element to it. And so there's kids in the background right now enjoying Minecraft and God knows what they do, to be honest. It's probably a whole topic about what my kids are doing when I'm not looking. It totally is. And actually, that's kind of one of our topics today is talking about quality time with our kids and what it is. So we'll come on to that. But it wouldn't be a first pod of the 2021 if we didn't have a little reflection on Christmas and New Year. At the risk of time-stamping this episode, we are still in lockdown and Christmas and New Year was a bit of a lockdown experience.

03:25 Because we were talking before, weren't we? It was just the last wrap-up. And I said, oh, on the way back from my dad's on Christmas Day, I'll come via your house and we'll have like a lunchtime beer, which would, of course, been completely breaking all the rules. So what was it like? What was it like for you? How did it get? Yeah, I actually blame you for lockdown because we were fine until you mentioned that on the show. And then Boris heard it, obviously, and said, you know what? I don't want to seek my kids, so I'm going to stop everyone else seeing theirs. And I don't want to seek my friends and so on. But it was okay. I split the custody of my kids 50-50 with their mum. So every other year we kind of swap who has Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, kind of the crypto Christmas dinner sort of time. And then you swap over, the other person gets them for the afternoon and evening unboxing day.

04:09 So you're kind of splitting out the joy as much. And I'll be honest, it's not my favorite day of the year for half of it. Like the first time when I didn't have my kids, I'll openly admit, I spent the entire morning just sitting in my bathtub sobbing. But then came back and then we had lots of presents, lots of food and lots of fun. That was lovely. But this time around, I decided to make the most of it. I filled it with chores and jobs and things to do and cooked myself my favorite food, which I don't know if I've ever mentioned my preference. So this, for viewers at home, was my Christmas lunch.

04:50 It's probably the best fry up I've ever produced. I was about to say, I'm looking at that for our podcast listeners, that not only the full Monty, but laid out. out beautifully on the plate. They do say presentations, everything. And I didn't eat it. I just wanted to. You hadn't laid it out like that. It wouldn't have fitted on the plate. Oh, I'm not. I'm going full and unpartridge. That wasn't a normal plate. They were my big plates. You know, it was, I mean, each tomato was a beef tomato that was several inches wired. And I genuinely didn't need to eat again until the end of boxing day. It was glorious.

05:27 One of the things that made me really smile about Christmas. Then, of course, it was opening presents time. And one good thing about being a single dad is your presents are always good. You don't have to smile about the rubbish things that all wrapped up under the tree and enjoyed for the next couple of days. Did you get anything nice yourself? What did I get? Kind. I mean, did I know? No, if I'm that honest. I mean, I did. I did. I did. My brother bought me an epic pair of trainers.

06:05 They're definitely more suited to the summer, but they're a cool pair of trainers. So a pair of like limited edition Nike kind of they're like a pair of they're like a cross between oh brain's gone blank anyway like a running one the night they're like an air max but they're like retro so they're like almost like an across between an old literally an old running trainer and and an air max so with short sneaker head then i'm i'm a mid mid midway sneakerhead i've got um probably four or four well if i count the old pairs i've got five pairs of air force ones and most of them are some kind of limited edition um

06:51 but do you ever actually wear them or are they just like for display oh yeah i totally no i totally wear them yeah yeah i don't have the financial uh abundance to have trainers that aren't worn basically see now now i've got this picture of johnny's johnny's wardrobe which has just got these softly top lit kind of shelves with these row after row after row of personalized i think i'm i'm pretty sure that one year you'll have a team super dad customized pair in the background now that we're doing right that we're doing but as to what's in my wardrobe right now it is just boxes and boxes of crap that i should have thrown away years ago we are having some levels of of clean out but but no like i i think we grew up at maidstone

07:30 um maidstone's always been a bit of uh fashion conscious town i think it's it's becoming less and it's less and less so now it's becoming more and more of just a dump now basically but one one year i had a pair of dunlops and that was i was so so chuffed of course because yeah i didn't we didn't grow up rich so uh yeah having a pair of dunlops was was like glorious yeah um not not to not spend all time talking about christmas but i remember one year uh we did secret center uh in our family and um i got my brother so i bought him this uh remote control helicopter and it's a little box of things and i've walked

08:07 in uh to the family thing and put it under the tree and then he's walked in and he's looked at me and he's he's seen the box that i'm holding and he's holding exactly the same box and he'd got me and bought exactly the same present and so we then we then just bought each other um remote control uh helicopters oh exactly that and and then because i just thought what would i love and he did exactly the same um and then we uh raced around my mum's house and uh wrecked several lampshades and uh ornaments so uh yeah sorry mum there's uh on the subject of sorry mum apparently i heard so that's a social media thing right ronaldo's mum said

08:47 i wish all the times i told him off for smashing things in my house with a football i i i'm now okay with all she's saying i wish i had given him such a hard time because it actually turned out all right but uh so yeah you've got a way to go before you get your helicopters uh license uh yeah yeah i mean these days ronaldo if you if you break something you won't just buy a new ornament it'll just say i'll just buy you a new house yeah a new house but uh chris no no just for any of us for dads listening right this team super dad isn't just about single dads um you know we champion relationships and and the longer you can keep a good relationship going then the absolute better for it but if you do break up then you know there's a lot of starting with myself as as the founder and leader of team super dad community and program but a lot of single dads in the in the group as well and it really is about creating a positive

09:38 relationship with our with our children of course but even more importantly with our with our ex-partners as well and and it's interesting you said about splitting christmas the way you do because that's how i do it as well i i grew up with with uh my sister and my dad separated my sister and my dad my sis my sister sister's mum and dad were separated. So she's my half-sister, but obviously I'd never call her that. And so, yeah, just kind of lunchtime, lay-by, handovers, personally control. Yeah, well, it kind of is, but no one gets to have fun, which is the that's no kind of drug deal I want to be involved in. But, you know, if you've got the kids in the afternoon, then you spend all morning waiting for them.

10:20 And if, and if you're the parent that's got them in the morning, then, you know, you're just expecting that in a couple of hours time, your Christmas day is going to end with the kids. So I know people have said to me, that's weird that you don't get to see them over Christmas. But honestly, I'm with you to fill my Christmas up with stuff when I don't have them. And then when they come back to recreate Christmas and do it all over again and then roll into New Year is absolutely brilliant. And it's worked really well for us over the last five years. How did you spend your New Year's? Well, Christmas Day was quite funny because Paul, another member of Team Super Dad, and I, we spent Christmas Day together and there was, and it was, and it was fun. We were drinking champagne and cooking dinner and laughing. And then there was a moment where we sat down for Christmas dinner and

11:05 we like took a picture and we just looked like an old gay couple. I don't know whether you remind me of a kind of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost or the old the old two Muppet guys who just sit there and criticize in the corner every day. There's something in between that, just a bit more drunk. But the evening was good because once we'd done the Christmas dinner and it was Full Monty. We didn't like stick a couple of things in the microwave. Full Monty Christmas, Christmas spread. But then we sat, smoked some joints, drank beer and played FIFA for six and a half hours. The funny thing is, Paul doesn't really play much FIFA because my kids, and I do because my boy Jaygo's really into it.

11:49 So to find our level, I ended up as Salford FC of the in England. And Paul was Chelsea, which, so yeah, six and a half hours, hilarious. So he didn't deserve victory in any case. No, not playing as Chelsea. No. Well, yeah, I'm rubbish at computer games. It reached a point a couple of years ago where I realized that unless it's kind of a strategy game or a thinky game, my boy who's sitting over there, he just kicks my ass all the time. He beats me at every single, he's just way better than me because he sits playing it all day, every day. Whereas I have to do silly things like, you know, work and cook and clean and stuff. I just don't get the chance to play. Dad, you're so boring, as my daughter loves to tell me.

12:33 But I think that's just her to be mean, not actually real. But he's getting to the point now where he is now getting better. I could hold my own in FIFA before, but now he's getting because he plays these, you know, he plays online leagues and stuff. He's getting ridiculously good, which is quite frustrating. But that's okay. That's like, that's the wheel of life. We're a circle of life, basically. Yeah, it's cool for me. For the moment, he might be able to beat me at FIFA, but I can run a lot longer and a lot faster than he can. So yeah, my fitness levels are still a little bit higher. I'm all over that. Yeah. I'll race you. Come on, son. Let's see who boss steal, totally. Which leans on nicely too.

13:12 We're going to kind of scurf past New Year, but that does lead on nicely to dads and fitness, which I was wanting to talk about. New Year, everyone's so full of there's 101 challenges coming up on my Facebook feed about getting fit and stuff. And I've last year during lockdown, and people in Team Super Dad would have seen the daily sweat and my hip workouts and running. I really was fitter last year than I've, I was already fit, but last year was even fitter than I've ever been. And then to have so much backache and neckache and shoulder ache and across this winter period is actually it's got me down to be a new thing or is that something old? It's stuff that's coming back from old days.

13:57 I got when I played rugby and I was 19, there was one particular day, you know, it's a vivid memory because that's when it all started. I went through to catch a ball and I jumped. So the ball was kicked from wide as like a basically for the winger to run on and score the try. And as I jumped up to catch it, their fullback ran through me and I landed and kind of like folded in half kind of thing. Okay. That doesn't sound nice. No. And the funny thing was the next day, because obviously we went out, got absolutely pissed out of our brains afterwards. This was when I was like 19. When I got out, well, the next morning, I got out of bed and fell on the floor because it would like all cramped.

14:41 I just woke up, stood up, fell down. I was like, dad. So, yeah, I can trace it back to that. But it's kind of not fair when. I pay for the osteopath. I do all this stuff. But it just got me thinking as we're planning. I'm working with Pete Brooke, who's in the Team Super Dad community, where we're working on the fitness program for Team Super Dad, which is along the lines of 75 Hard and the Six Pack Revolution, but it's an easy to do set of fitness activities that if you're really unfit, you can just do it. And then it becomes like a benchmark for getting to a sensible level of fitness as a dad. So there's press up, sit-ups, burpees.

15:21 Burpees is where you do the press up and then jump up and then go back down. Yeah, I've read about them on the internet. Okay, I've heard of it. And then 5K walk, jog, run, and then a bleep test, which is a bleep test is basically your anaerobic, where you run, just like you do shuttle runs over 20 meters, basically. So we're working on that as the framework for the F5. But, you know, just, I think I want to say on the matter that fitness is important for all dads, just like a sensible level of fitness. You just joked about being able to outrun your kids still. But it is for our energy levels, for our creative thinking, for our looks.

15:59 You know, like if you'd want to not have a gut hanging over your box of shorts, confidence obviously comes into that. It is important, but you don't have to be Arnold Schwarzenegger or an Olympic athlete to that. We mustn't get too overwhelmed or caught up in these things. What about your fitness, Glenn? You just joked about it then, but is it really that far off your radar? Oh, yeah, I mean, I have done fitness in my lifetime. But I mean, if you average it out, I'm sure I've gotten a degree of fitness across and activity across all the years. See, when I was in my 20s, I'm now 40, just turned 40 last year. When I was in my 20s, I used to play a lot of Australian rules football, which is brutal. Lots of running.

16:44 I loved it. I absolutely loved it. So I used to play that, trained that twice a week and play at weekends, doing two matches at the weekends. No, this was in the UK. All right. Where do they play Australia? London, is that? Oh, yeah. You lived in South London, didn't you? Yeah, of course. Well, I lived in Walthamstowe, but we trained. There's teams all across London. I probably haven't mentioned it. I used to be president of AFL Britain. So I was really heavily into that. You're going to reflect on your shirt. President. I've got bodyguards around the house. Once a president, always a president. But if there are Aussies watching this, they're just laughing, going,

17:25 I mean, I don't look like a typical AFL player, do I? By the way, with all of this, I'm definitely not saying I was good. I represented my country in a training match once. My little brother, who I got into it, he was brilliant. I sent him off to Australia as part of the national team to play in the World Cup or the International Cup. But yeah, I used to absolutely love it. So I was training for that twice a week, which is tons and tons of running. Then I was also, I was in a gym. So I was going to the gym a couple of times a week, swimming. I was cycling to and from. I used to live in Walthamstow, working tower hamlets, which is about eight, 10 miles away.

18:01 So I used to cycle there and back every day. So I was hyper-fit, yet I still looked pretty much identical to the way I look now because I was never of the mindset of let's build up muscle mass and let's let's go real full muscle face on things and as much as I'd have loved to because I think that would look would have looked quite good um that wasn't it wasn't possible because that takes hard work takes a lot of work to build up some sort of Greek god sort of chiseled body and I just didn't I have never got the time and energy and motivation to do that and that's kind of over the years when I've had more kids and I've had to drop the actual sport elements and the fitness

18:37 elements I look the same but I've got I've had less and less time and no real motivation to do it now when I turned single I thought okay this is great I'm gonna I'm gonna get some weights and I'm gonna join a gym and I'm gonna do this and then you don't you just end up getting busy doing other things and going out and drinking and partying and so on and just never get around to it how old were you then when I became single 36 so that's four years ago yeah four years so it's about to hit you it's about to catch up on you especially I'm going to wake up one day with just some massive beer belly no it's going to be just it's going to be at the front it's going to be like a kangaroo it's going to be like a little like an old man with a skinny bloat with a baby yeah yeah

19:21 there's a term skinny obese you can be skinny obese at the front i'm i'm lucky enough i hide all my fat in my arteries so um i i it's only going to come up one day when i just drop down dead and they're going to open me up and just it's going to be like um in the national lampoon thing when they open the turkey and it's all dry and disgusting they're going to open me up just to check it and it's just going to be fat oozing out like some sort of i don't know horror horror film from the 70s. But yeah, I've got a natural degree of fitness, but I just, I never, and I'm not, I'm definitely not going to use the phrase I haven't got the time. I'm going to say I never make the time to do it. I've never had the motivation to actually get off my ass and do more running. So I run a 24, a five K is about 25, 26 minutes.

20:06 So I've got speed, but I've just not got the motivation to actually focus and dedicate to either proper fitness or building up a full beach body dad bod type thing. So here's the bad news. As a 46 and a third, 46 and two thirds. I'm 47 in May, basically. So as someone who's got six and nearly seven years on you, it's coming, dude. Not looking forward to that. You look magnificent, of course. Well, like I said, I'm fitter than I've ever been. But by the same token, this pain thing has got to go. But I think it's a bit stress-related.

20:45 Well, I think pretty sure it's stress-related. So I found this Christmas and New Year thing, actually, this leads nicely on to the next subject, which there is a serious side to this for dads. And as awkward as this is to bring up, I'm going to bring it up because I, you know, health, lots of dad stuff goes on health-wise. And we keep it under wraps, right? And my granddad, it's very funny anecdote. He kept dinging the car. My granddad's been dead 20 years, right? But he kept dinging the car. He's like in his 70s. And so my dad and him went to the doctor's, but was it time he had to stop driving? And family folklore has it that the doctor said to him, Mr. Jensen, can you see out of your left eye?

21:27 And he was like, he goes, oh, no, no, no, not for about two years now. So he'd been blind in his left eye for two years. Turned out he had a tumor in his brain that's the size of an orange. And he was dead two months later. So we can't ignore those things. And yet, here I am about to share something. So during a bit of Johnny time over Christmas, I jizzed blood. Mate, that's, I don't want to be the one to break this to you. That's not normal. No, it freaked me out. It freaked me out. And I was not inclined to test and see if it happened again.

22:06 So I kind of sat with this subject for a while before I even, I mean, I looked at it, I did a little Google search on it. And it can be, you know, if it's never happened before, it can kind of be, according to the, you know, the Oracle that is Google and NHS Directs and all those sorts of things, it's not that much to worry about. So I would still be bricking it. I've got to say, once is way too many times. Yeah. So, but, but on my conscious mind, I told myself it's fine. But like in the back of my mind, actually, I was just insanely worrying about it all, you know, literally all the time. So spoke to a friend who's a who's a sexual health nurse and she kind of reiterated and has it.

22:48 She goes, she goes, I hope you don't mind me asking, but were you being overly aggressive? No, no, I'd set candles out. I know. I got some baby oil and it was lovely. I was like, listen, I'm the only, it's the closest thing to a relationship I've got. So then I did eventually share it with a couple of mates and both of them pulled a face like you did. And like, you've not been to the doctors. Are you kidding me? So I've now been to the doctors. And so I had a urology, bloods, other site like, so fully, fully getting it checked out.

23:30 So getting or have had it checked out? Both. I'm in the process. I've had certain tests. I've got to go and have some other ones. Obviously, I'm waiting for the letter appointment to come back from the hospital and stuff. Yeah. Well, fingers are more than crossed. But yeah, you've got to get stuff checked out. I mean, it's one of those things where it can be embarrassing, but the doctors know that. So for me, I guess it's kind of an out-of-body experience about walking in and saying that this is embarrassing. I know it and I'm embarrassed. However, this is what happened. And kind of taking that kind of step back from things and thinking, okay, how would I describe this if I was describing it happening to someone else? Because describing it happen to yourself is, yeah, mortifying, even though actually it's nothing to do with you.

24:14 It's not your fault at all. It just happens. Yeah. Like my mind has just wandered to the Monty Python sketch in the Knights one, whatever the fight. That's not a flesh feeling. No arm. Just a flashburg, just a glancing blow. Although, just as a kind of a quick tale of caution, when you are going into these things, just my. my little brother. Now, I've got two, so I'm not going to say which one, even though. Yeah, even though he will quite happily share this story, and I'm going to be sharing it at his eventual wedding.

24:52 So he went to the toilet one day. And after he kind of sort of looked in the toilet and there was blood. That's not normal. That's not good. That's not healthy. So he after he undone, bit the bullet, went to the doctors and he went into the doctor's room. He said, Look, doctor, I've been to the toilet and there's blood and it's scaring me. And I feel like I want to get it checked out to make sure it's nothing serious. So doctors said, okay, can you lay on the couch, pull your trousers down, bring your knees up. And of course, as my brother's doing that, the guy's getting his glove on and lubing up and straight up, has a rummage around

25:32 and says, okay, all right, you can put your trousers on. So I can feel something. There's a bit of a bump. That's fine. That's normal. We'll give you some cream and that will sort it out. And my brother's kind of putting the trousers up. I said, Doc, that's really good and all, but the blood was from my pee. So be specific when you're doing these sort of things. Unless you also fancy a prostate examination. Okay, good. Well, I've got a prostate. I've got one of those coming down the line, I'm pretty sure of. So, yeah, so that's that's my message. That's how I hope that I hope that comes across to listeners, watchers. You know, bite the bullet. However awkward it is, have the conversation.

26:15 If it's not with your mates first, share it in the Team Super Dad community. It's a safe space. We've got the dad call every other Monday. That also is a safe space. You can just come and be part of the call. Can they do it like anonymously? Can they private message you and stuff like that? And just, I mean, not that you're a doctor or anything, but just answer my dear. Anyone who wants to put an anonymous comment in the Team Super Dad community can just private message me and I'll gladly put that into the group as a secret message, as an anonymous message. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because as men, we're just trained. You know what? Just man up. Just suck it up. It's probably fine. Don't worry about it. Like you say, you lose a leg and you're told, just run it off.

27:00 You'd be all right. And that's not normal. That's not right. You know, how would you feel if your brother or your son or your dad revealed that they like your granddad? Two years. You'd be like, what the? What are you doing? Come on, man, talk to me about these things and I'll help you. Or even don't talk to me, but go and talk to a doctor. You'd be furious at them. So be furious at yourselves as well. And just take, hold yourself to the standards by which you hold others. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, I went out of the conversation. I went and had a COVID test. Oh, yeah. Is that the first time you've had your eyes watering and been gagging? I took my trousers down at the COVID center.

27:48 Caused quite a stir. No, no. Someone said to me, oh, actually, the body aches, backache, rib ache, chestache, the symptoms that you get or you hear about as the normal symptoms apparently aren't the only symptoms. Right, okay. So by sharing it, I ended up at the they're now doing these kind of walk-in ones that the army are doing. And it was, it was pretty slick, actually, but also a little bit surreal. The ones stuck in your nose and self-administered. So you, you, um, isn't that what trouble got you into, got you into trouble in the first place? Self-administered, yeah. Again, wrong, uh, wrong, wrong use of the cubicle.

28:30 Uh, oh, I thought this was the other test. Oh, COVID. Okay, sorry. Sorry. Yeah, can I have a tissue? Um, it was a bit surreal. It was a bit sort of, if you, if you squinted your eyes and imagine yourself sort of in the second world war or something, we would, you know, there was army and we were lined up and you know, and going in and um, but yeah, pretty, pretty slick. And then it came back negative within an hour. So, so yeah, so I can kiss anyone now to be quite a bit. You can't kiss anyone. You can't go around licking random people because you haven't had it. You're not right. Okay. Shit. I bet I go. If you do, then, you know, at least video it because that's going to get us some content we can sell on you've been framed.

29:17 Any dates recently on that subject on subject of kissing? Has the dating dad only had any dates recently? Not really because of, you know, lockdown. Been kind of chatting to a couple of people and hoping to set a few things. I've did a similar thing where you kind of. both choose the same meal and cook it at the same time and chat in a way as you do it. So that's that's that was fun. Like an actual date, like a live, not a live stream, just you and her. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So just not live stream to the world, but one-on-one. Um, and yeah, or any other, any other, I mean, not this time because you don't want to be cooking something whilst you know, spatter.

29:56 Yeah, I'm always aware of a spatter, make a salad, yeah, yeah. Uh, but but no, other than that, but that wasn't really going to go anywhere, and yeah, it's it's annoying because I'd kind of geared myself up a little bit to get back into it a little bit, but then with lockdown, you're not going to go out and meet anyone, at least not for the next few weeks. And then, probably, let's be realistic, it's not, it's not going to end soon, so you're not going to meet anyone face to face for quite some time. So, I don't need a pen pal. I don't, I don't want to be sitting here after the first couple of weeks when you kind of got to know each other a bit. Then it becomes uh, okay, well, how was your day? Same sat on my computer and typed, how's your day?

30:33 Same, sit on my computer. What are you going to talk about? So, um, yeah, it's I kind of have almost decided that's it. I'm I'm done until spring, summer time, which is which is not a place I want to be. I went on a walking date the other day, did you? That kind of worked out all right. Um, how'd you meet? How'd you meet? I matched, which is like blooming about as often as Saturn and Uranus coming into the view in the stars or Saturn and Jupiter or whatever. Um, but no, we matched and then and then we chatted and then and then we had a walking date, got a coffee and walked up and down the river. So, uh, how'd it go? It went pretty well, actually. She's she's she's fun.

31:18 I think that's the and I don't mean that in some sort of like I'm avoiding saying anything else, like it was really enjoyable couple of hours. So for someone who's sort of just really just getting early stages back into the, I would like more people to match with me, blindly. Yeah, the number of times I swipe right, you'd think I would get some more matches, but I don't think my destiny is to find someone on a dating app. But don't write it off though. Don't write it off. I keep changing my, I don't know, you're trying to work out why I don't get more things. No, yeah, there's a whole world of work we can do on that just because that's kind of that's my specialism.

31:59 I'm not saying I'm some sort of pickup artist or anything and I've got the answers, but I spend so long, so much of my time talking about it and researching about it and helping people to do things that, yeah, we'll do a full-on montage worthy makeover of profiles and stuff. Right. So what we'll do is we will do a podcast about it. And then we will do a group type session inside of the Team Super Dad community where we will do it on Zoom and then people can like share their like they can hold up their profile and we might even be able to get a couple of women on.

32:39 Yeah, yeah, I chat with women all the time who because at the end of the day we we see female profiles and so we've got really strong opinions on what's good and what's bad. And so I'm always really keen to talk to women about what do you think about the men's profile. So yeah, I've done a lot of work kind of building up that knowledge over the years. Okay, we're definitely doing that. So dads, if you're watching this, if you're listening, comment in the chat and we'll make sure you get a personal invite to that event. By the way, someone commented as we were talking about the importance of fitness and they said it is super important for your sex life, which is really quite well. It really is. I mean, there's nothing worse than having to take a break halfway through because you know what, you need to catch your breath.

33:19 I mean, sometimes that's a good sign. That means, wow, yes, brilliant. Especially if she's on top, then you really are know you're in trouble. But I mean, the other thing we're going to do about dating profiles and so on is this is something I that women don't get. They don't, they can't wrap their head around. There was even last night, there was some women chatting about why are men's dating profile photos so crap? Haven't they got friends who can take good photos of them and don't they know their angles? No, we don't. Men don't go out with their friends and think, I look good. Can you take a photo of me looking good? We don't do that. And they all take the piss out of you for the next four hours. Exactly. Which means that all we've got is a load of selfies and or pictures of us holding up a fish or some crap like that.

34:06 Or like really cropped in versions of things. So one thing I'm going to be doing in the summer when world returns to normal is a combination pub crawl and photo shoot where we can I'm going to do a couple of those because I'm not but we can do it with Team Super Dad community. We can get a bunch of guys we go out. This sounds a bit stupid, but take a couple of hours. it's not a good idea, yeah. T-shirts, a jumper, or something like that, a coat and something. So basically, we go to a bunch of different really nice-looking pubs. Maybe I want to do it around London because there's some great places I know in London, which just look stunning. But we can do it wherever we can, we can, as long as there's a few different locations, go there, have drinks in different pubs.

34:48 You're in different places, and each whole point of it, we'll have a little WhatsApp group or something to take loads of individual photos of each other laughing, joking, drinking, having a good time. Not just doing the bad things, but standing in front of statues or posing or doing stuff. The whole point will be to get each person a dozen or two dozen different photos that they can encycle between on their naps. And then at the end of the night, like an episode of Men Behaving Badly, we'll all be on the floor being drunk out of our brain. The drinking element of this is a given. But this combines the drinking side of the pub crew.

35:31 Men behaving badly. If you're not UK-based and you want a funny, quite blokey comedy to watch, very 90s, very 90s. Oh man, lad culture. I'm all for women's rights and equality and all that sort of stuff. But lads, good. We need a bit of balance, okay? We need some laddism back in back in the world. Just before we finish the subject, right? Netflix and chill. I didn't know what that meant until recently. I thought she likes watching movies and she likes chilling out. As like she's quite a chilled out person, separate subject. That actually means shagging, basically. Yeah, if someone says, Do you want to Netflix and chill?

36:14 Do not go over there expecting to see the end of the movie. That's what's a whole vernacular around dating that you only learn when you start doing it. There is that. There's ghosting, breadcrumbing, hobbing, cushioning. There's the whole world of, oh, what's going to say? Oh, there's catfishing. Catfishing is another major one there. But then, yeah, there's so many things. The third date rule. No one, I never knew about the third date rule. And then some you speak to newly single people like, what's the third date got to do with anything? Don't wipe your knob on the curtain or something like that. No, no, no. And this, by the way, these are not things I agree with, but these are common, common terms.

36:59 And it's the, and I've got to be careful because of my surroundings with young ears, but the third date is when it's expected. Let's to quant, you're expected to either shit or get off the pot. Right. Basically, in terms of quality, one-to-one time together. Yeah. Okay. So, right. So if we're not in bed by the third date, then this isn't happening. Okay, right. Exactly. And that's that's and these are the sort of rules that I hate because you know what it could be one date, it could be 10 dates. It's when it's right, it's right. But that's a common understanding: it's by the third date, you should know one way or another. Yeah. So all these rules and guidelines and language, it's a world of interest, but you just don't know it until you're in it.

37:42 Yeah. Well, one of the dads I speak to a lot in the Team Super Dad community, he always goes in for the kiss straight first date. You know, it's just so, you know, I'm like, okay, that's good. That's bold. That is, that's good. That's bold. But then it'd be good to hear a woman's perspective. I've got a question I want to know, right? From watching a bit of porn. In porn, the bloke always slaps the woman's ass, right? I don't actually know if women like that. In that movie, is it a long came Polly? Yeah. When he says, slap her ass and tell her, to say, so say you love me, daddy, or something like that. So then

38:26 Ben Stiller says that to Jennifer Anderson, and she goes, did you just slap my ass? Then he goes back to his mate and says, You told me to slap her ass and say, Who's your daddy? And he goes, Yeah, did she like it? And he goes, No, she didn't like it. Yeah, I mean, this is an episode, an entire episode I want to go into when I've got a little bit more freedom to talk. But my God, there is just there is no do this and this will work. And it's just individual as a Team Super Dad expert hangout and we get some women on as well as well. Well, listen, let's change up before we start to run out of time. It's been a crazy, crazy.

39:09 I don't, do you watch much American news? I'm obsessed with American news. I stayed up for 48 hours watching the election night stuff because it takes that long to just count some flipping votes. And then I've been glued to it over recent weeks. It's been mad, hasn't it? It's been mad. right? And for anyone who's not interested in American politics, don't worry. This, there is some personal, funny relevance to this as well. So, yeah, I interviewed a guy on the podcast the other day, Scott Crabtree. He's all about the science of happiness. Really cool guy. Literally, there is a science of happiness. And I've read a couple of books on this subject as well. The happiness advantage.

39:49 Just as a choice, like if you say to someone quite miserable and negative that happiness is a choice, they're like, oh, yeah, whatever. Failing to realize the irony that they can't even be positive about their response. But then talking to Scott and just how he has studied it. So there's the science behind it. So it's a proven scientific, the body, the chemicals, the what happens when we are laughing, when we generate happiness, when we bring a positive outlook out to our life. But he was on the podcast the day that

40:30 they were storming the Senate. And that was not a happy day. That was crazy. And he was shaken up by it. And I've got a lot of family in America. So some of my interest in American politics and stuff comes from that. But yeah, it was fully mad. Guns, beards, they all have beards. So you would have been okay as long as you've got. I feel like my beard isn't growing enough. I feel like you need a full-on redneck kind of triangular Gandalf style beard. You do. You've got the tattoos. You're probably a bit too skinny as well. But that guy with the horns and the whole name. He's called like. The thing is, how was he?

41:12 Was he hoping he wouldn't get recognized afterwards? They thought that we'll storm the capital and we'll force them to change. And Trump, Trump's in charge. Trump will pardon us because we're doing what he told us to do. Yeah. I'm going to look him up. Senate guy with horns. He's just a Jamiraqui, wannabe crazy man. Whereas the ones who were scary were the ones who turned up in full tech gear with cable tires and guns and tasers. Even the ones who didn't taser themselves in the testicles. I just, it's a scary world when you see an attempted coup in one of what is supposed to be the most stable democracies in the world.

41:54 Yeah, it was fully wild, fully wild. And that's the interesting thing about this. People who get to toss about America and stuff like that, which will lead me on into a minute to a funny thing I posted on Facebook the other day. But these guys are storming the Senate with assault rifles. And I'm laughing at him. He's named Jake Angeli. Actually, he's a known supporter of QAnon. But yeah, how did he possibly hope to make when I take the outfit off? They'll never recognize. It's the facebook, sort of the Batman approach. You know what? They're finally got it.

42:39 I was at my mum's last week. But we're thinking logically about this. Anyone who thinks the way they do, logic is not a word that comes into their lexicon. They're just off this, off this, off the rocker and off the plantation on this. They don't know what their end goal is because they can't see past the short-termism. They can't see past their emotions. They're not losing their head brain. They're using their gut brain. And that's just messed up. Yeah. Have you seen the video where the first person was going in through the door? They worked their way up the stairs and then they were breaking in through the barricaded door and the officer's got the gun there. And this person just totally gung-ho climbs through and then gets shot. And everyone's like, man down, man down.

43:22 They're all like shocked that. But it's funny to kind of look at objectively, but equally, it's heartbreaking. Because after the whole Black Lives Matter movement, you just know that if that crowd had been as black as it was white, there would have been five rows of tanks on the lawn. There would have been tear gas flying. There would have been guns and rubber bullets and real bullets. There would have been a massacre. And it's simply because of their skin color that they were able to not just get close to the building, but get into the building to charge around it and force elected officials to cower.

44:00 I mean, the only reason they were able to do it was because they'd been trained about this from school. You know, the whole shooter sort of thing and tornado warnings, just get down, get quiet, get in the dark room and hide. So they've been trained from childhood. That's not right. How is this meant to be one of the most civilized countries in the world? And they can still. still have such a disparity between what color skin a terrorist is and how they treat one versus the other. It's sickening. Well, naively, I would hope that that was more about what type of emergency services, what type of response units would have been put on alert

44:43 at that time. So when it was a Black Lives Matters, those in charge, let's presume it was Donald Trump's people, say, right, we need to be braced ourselves here for trouble. And so you put all those kind of forces out. And then when it's his own supporters, he says, oh, yeah, just put a few guys there. It's going to be okay, sort of thing. I don't know what would have been, I don't know what would happen if it had been a Democrat in charge then. I would hope so. But then Chicago is quite a Democrat sort of leaning area. And it's got the worst gun crime situation in the US.

45:26 If it had been a Black Lives Matter, they knew the protest was taking place. They knew people were going to get whipped up. There was intelligence to know that they were planning on something major. And if it had been a BLM gathering and thing right down the road from the Capitol, then they would have acted absolutely fundamentally different. There'd have been 100 dead, yeah, if not more. But preparation-wise, they would have had the resources on hand. They would have had the tear gas. They would have had it all ready and all barricaded and sorted because they would have known that they needed to do something more. But within, they were just like, you know, yeah, they're literally waving them in. And it's sick.

46:02 My heart goes out to not just the guys involved, not the terrorists, but the innocent people in the capital and friends and family I've got who live in Washington, D.C., because that's where my company used to be, my old company used to be based. They were scared to walk out the house for days because they didn't know what terrorists were walking around the streets. But my heart goes out to all of those people, but also just the rest of the states because the actions of those idiots, those scumbags, those terrorists, I don't know what the opposite of a patriot is, but the anti-patriots of the US have now tainted so many people's livelihoods and the outlook that the world has on what was meant to be a great country.

46:42 Well, if anyone's doing a number, running a number on America in their minds, take a listen to some of Joe Biden's speeches over the last 10 days. And as a statesman, as an elder statesman, as someone who's worked across parties, he's doing a great job already. But on this subject, and slightly more close to home, I'm a member of loads of different dad groups. So one of them is called Only Dads, and it's mainly US-based. So last week, there was a guy posted a picture of his son with his pistola, with his gun, and said, Yeah? No, no, no, a gun, proper gun, a pistol, actual gun. Yeah, the kid's 12, right? So he's saying, oh, proud day, got Billy his first gun.

47:25 We've been out shooting. And, you know, so people are commenting. So I put on there, wow, that's pretty surreal to see coming from a country where we don't have guns and there's, you know, there's no gun movement. And so it wasn't like a you nutter, how dare you kind of thing. I was just sharing that it was surreal to see it. So, oh my gosh, I got what laid into and it was hilarious. They were going, they were like, that's why we pushed you lot out. Like talking about the like Boston TV. That was 250 years ago. I know. Like, get over it. And the guy was going, oh, yeah, like, like, you guys have got it sorted.

48:09 And he made out. He goes, what do your police do? Stop. Or I'll say, stop again. Well, we do, but they, you know, we do manage to catch just as many, if not more, criminals than them. And when we catch them, they're still breathing. Yeah, yeah. So there were people making jokes. They talk about tea and crump pits. He's like, oh, what are you going to do? Throw a toaster at them or, you know, quite funny. But it was funny. It was funny. But equally, there are so many. It's just one of those things where we can't understand the levels of crazy. And I'm happy, you know, attack all you want.

48:46 I think a country where it is commonplace for any individual to walk around with a gun, a gun that can kill people, that's mad. That's mad. It's not right. It's not good. We should have evolved past that. And so I think it's weird and it's wrong. And I think I personally, hey, if someone, if I turned around and someone said, oh, yeah, we gave your kids gun lessons the other day without my knowledge, I would be furious because I don't want my kids. kids exposed to a world where they've got the power of life and death over people, especially not when I'm trying to make them get up in the morning and do their homework of an evening. I don't want them killing me. It was bonkers. It did make me think a little bit about gun crime and no, sorry, knife crime and

49:30 that sort of stuff. But more hilariously, because I've got a lot of family in America and spent a lot of time there as a teen. So I faced at certain times during my teenage years, particularly when we got to the age where I could get into bars and stuff, of getting kind of semi-racially abused for being English, British. And these were either Irish Americans who were on a kind of Northern Ireland angle or real, you know, what I would now understand as right-wing people, but just immensely American proud. And they'd be like, yeah, we kicked you out. We kicked you out 100 years ago. And I'm like, I'm just on holiday.

50:10 I'm just on holiday visiting my family. We're having a beer. What are you talking about? Yeah, that wasn't even your granddad. That was your great, great, great, great, great-granddad. I mean, you're living off of his glory. Come on, do something yourself. I know. But, you know, there we go. I think we're heading into a better time, which is, which is can only be a good thing for the world. And just, you know, just finally, as we wrap this up, you were talking then about what we do with our kids and not teaching them to shoot guns. This lockdown, I saw you mention some funny things about homeschooling and stuff this week. And we're all been in the same boat. Quality time, right? Where?

50:50 Okay, so we're not going to teach our kids to shoot guns. So that's one thing we can't put on our list. What you got. I do, I do. I have spent some time running around with Nerf guns recently. That's been quite fun. Yeah. So you've got seven to 16. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Seven-year-old boy, 10-year-old girl, 14-year-old boy, and a 16-year-old girl. And the amount of time they want to spend with me varies depending on how busy I am. So right, you know, when I'm not busy over weekend, then I'll be sitting there playing the computer games. So right now, let's have a quick look over. I've got one on an iPad playing iPad playing Minecraft, another one on a PlayStation playing the same Minecraft, but on a different screen.

51:26 I've got one playing Terror Tech on a computer over in the corner, and one up in a room watching TV, watching some Korean sitcom. So they're off doing their own thing because I've got my time. I've got quality time that I can spend with them. So obviously they want to spend it by themselves. Now, when I'm working, however, that's when they want the quality time. That's when they want to play. That's when they want to show me their slime planets and lesson the outcomes and so on. And yeah, it's inversely proportional to the amount of time I've got available. Yeah, totally. Well, last Sunday, Rosie woke up. Well, everyone woke up, but we were up. There'd been a heavy frost. So it's kind of quite a pretty winter scene. And

52:10 I know for both my kids, the desire now is ever increasing to want to have some one-on-one time. And they're both kind of of an age now where I can go outside and play with Jago and Rosie can stay indoors, or I can go and do something like go to the shops with Rose and leave Jago here for half an hour. So we popped to the park, had a walk, took a hot chocolate and a coffee, fed the ducks. And it was just, it was, it was about 45 minutes, but it was gold, really. Rosie was utterly made up. And as a dad, you know, she's nine now, but she's holding my hand the whole way.

52:47 We played poo sticks. We were watching the different ducks getting stuck on the ice. And, you know, it was just, it was, it would have been, on the one hand, lovely if all three of us had been there. But on the other hand, it was absolutely magic that it was just me and her. That time is so precious. And so I still remember one of my favorite times ever spent with my dad. He literally, because I'm one of, I'm one of, one of six, but when I was visiting him every three or four weeks for a couple of days, for a weekend, it was only four of us. But one of my favorite times ever, he just said, I'm just going to go pick up some dry cleaning. Do you want to come with me? So it was just me and him picking up dry clean.

53:25 And then we stopped off for a cheeky McDonald's breakfast. That's about the only one-on-one time I spent with my dad as a child until I went to football with him as an adult. That was it. And that's treasure, you know, that one-on-one moment. It matters so much. So I try and do it with the kids, but being a single dad and there's four of them, it becomes quite difficult to do. Yeah, whenever you can spend one-on-one time, it makes such a massive difference. Yeah, totally. And it's not all about money. Jago and I, all he wants to do is play football with me. Yeah. You know, and the other week, we had a daddy day with just him and Rose went with her mum from Mummy Day. And him and I went to the park, played football for three hours. And I think if it hadn't suddenly started pissing it down, we'd have probably played until it got dark.

54:09 basically and uh and that's the message for for dads both in a relationship and out of a relationship it's it's really really vital to just grab your kid and like you shared pop I don't want to go to the DIY store okay yeah but we'll chat in the car on the way there and let's go for a for a McDonald's breakfast on the way back so you can turn it into some quality time with that person and more often than not when you're in BQ and you're walking around looking at hammers and drain pipes and whatever then you find things to laugh about and joke about and it can become a magic moment so we're on the same page about that yeah you never know what your kids are going to remember you never

54:50 know what moments mean more to them or what's going through their heads at any one time so yeah carve it out just if you if you're with someone just say look can i just i'm gonna take this one kid and do this one thing when when i when i did have my ex um we were together um i when my kids i think it's about 10 or something like that i take him away for a weekend uh camping um well firstly i used to take him off to to watch football with me every now and then so that was always nice uh but i take him away for a for a whole weekend and we used to drive to wales or um oh god knows uh snowden or something like that and just with a little tent just me and them in a car drive there pitch a tent go walking up and down a hill for a day or so and then drive back it it cost petrol money

55:36 and that was it so money wasn't the issue but it was about just me and them being together and those are the sort of things which are going to stick in their minds as they grow up and and reinforce that you're there you'll you'll want to you'll actively want to spend time with them rather than just having to spend time around them and that makes a big difference yeah it's that consciousness for them that you're focused on them they're very aware that whatever we're doing this is like my dad's totally focused on me i think that's what the difference is that's where they feel the connection that's where the special memory comes from is i did that thing and he was all about me he was totally focused on me for that time

56:16 so yeah carve it out fellas carve it out yeah make sure it happens awesome good chatting glenn good good chatting and we've managed to not we only leaned a little bit into uh to football there uh for any regular listeners you'll know that both glenn and i are total fans and uh before we put the radio i'll go now before we press record we both agreed we're taking a sabbatical so um so uh good good luck to us i'll tell you what i'm just great i'm just grateful that they're managing to keep sport in general at some level on the tv because i think it's it's it's providing a lot for people that is a big difference between this lockdown and the first one

56:56 because now you know when i'm when i'm working on i've got i've got cricket you've got test cricket which i can just sit back have on um and enjoy that and uh formula one's been on obviously it's finished now but football there's regular loads of football going on and sport just gives you that that touch of normality that i that i love and gives you something different to talk about and so um there is in the first one no change because you know what no football no sport no nothing so what do we do whereas now at least it shows the world is continuing to evolve and and things are happening even if even if spurs are continuing to evolve backwards spursy

57:34 yeah glenn great to talk to you uh at a dating dad on twitter uh go over and connect or at least follow uh glenn's random uh journey through life and breakfast uh plates um you have a lot of women following you actually a lot of most of your chit chat is is seemingly women are connecting to you so perhaps i need to focus a bit more on my twitter time well just i i i i just i just stick stuff out there that amuses me maybe i've uh just got that weird sense of humor that that women seem to uh gravitate to yeah yeah we'll see we'll have a joint wedding one day about that or the joint piss up of starters joint yeah let's let's start with that

58:19 we'll leave it at that glenn have a great weekend team super dad if you're watching listening uh please share this leave a comment uh subscribe uh we are over at teamsuperdad.com you can come and connect with us just on the free level or you can sign up and join any of the paid activity that's going on 2021 it's really is uh blow the bloody doors off uh on purpose let's uh let's have a great year glenn i'll see you on the next wrap up take it easy buddy sounds good team super dad out bye this has been team super dad find us at teamsuperdad.com join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children you are not alone.

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