You'll Never Walk Again: Colin Owensby on Resilience, Loss and a Fulfilled Life

00:00 I By the grace of God, an ambulance watched us go off the highway. The next thing I know the firefighters are there they broke the back window of the SUV and now they said can you climb out and get through here? And I said I don't know I think I can and so I did with a broken spine torn abs torn abdomen organs everything just the adrenaline got me out of the vehicle Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go!

01:01 Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show. It's great to have you here once again, I am the founder and head coach of the High Value Man Project wherever you are listening or watching it is brilliant to have you here and if it's your first time then how did you find us? Be sure if you enjoy this episode to share, give So, let's get started.

01:49 So yes, it is a guest episode and today my guest is a man who was told at 15 that he might never walk again. Fractured spine, internal organ damage, doctors giving his parents the kind of news no parent should have to hear... Four months later he was walking six months later he was competing and three months after the accident he stood at the worst moment in life again this time sadly watching his brother die right in front of him Colin Owensby became a professional model, working the runways in Milan for Armani and Zegna. He worked as a body double in Hollywood. He finished an Ironman and 100-mile ultramarathon

02:29 He coaches men, he says over 200 coach clients a week which I'm definitely going to quiz him on there right. But on his way back to racing at third Ironman this June when i got the PR kind of email through there were so many crossovers between me and Colin that And Also very cool and a bit weird because it crosses over perfectly almost with the Ezra conversation if you listen to the last guest episode. Colin's in California, I'm in Kent and this conversation has been one I've been looking forward too because his story of mine have crossed over way more than I expected. Colin welcome to The Show! Jonnie Jensen thanks so much for having me brother appreciate it yeah I'm excited to be here

03:24 Yes, I make those not surprisingly in the world we live in today. I make those little intros with some help from my AI buddy Claude. There you go! The fact that yours is so long and as I'm reading it out, I'm thinking maybe I should have trimmed this down a bit but... I do pay Claude to embellish a little bit So it's nice there yeah He's incredibly handsome, a really funny guy. Animals and children love him! So Colin did I miss anything out when I was introducing you? Is there anything there that you'd like to say that I missed out on? Oh my gosh there are so many different chapters and variables that happened in my life that we are gonna get into for sure Like you mentioned, my teenage years... We had some sad moments and periods that happened mostly when

04:12 And after that, I just went on the most unconventional life path. My LinkedIn bio is a little all over the place because of it but yeah no well i'm happy to dive into all of it thanks. The reason why I believe your story's interesting to men who are watching this right now is very much about two things really one is resilience Getting over tragedy, getting over accidents rebuilding your body. But also inside of that then adaptability because as your story is going to pan out you've morphed and changed and gone with the flow of your life and actually experienced wonderful things as a result of that. And I believe that's an important lesson for so many men because we're not

05:01 You know, life is not a single chapter. It's it's it's not one experience that we have to stick with no matter how how it's going even if it's going well you know there's there's a case to be argued for changing things up for really embracing that new chapter I think you hit the nail on on the head exactly with the adaptability um that's really what The Resilience is and there's a whole tool set of things that you know we use in our daily life Whether we are, we consider ourselves resilient or not. It's really that's the tool set and you can adapt all of them and use one or all of them any day. And that's how we get there. Well listen to jump right to the end of the story, right? Help guys sort of give an idea of who we're talking to what is it that you do now? You know, and what has you out on the kind of podcast guest trail right now

05:55 and My life has become was unique until people started telling me that it was unique. And so, you know, people started asking me how did you not turn to drugs and alcohol when these major life crises were happening? And I had to think about that. I didn't know what the answer was. I didn't know that it was unique. I thought everybody just kind of was living their life in their lane and that's what it was. And ultimately I had some folks tell me it'd be really helpful, I think, to a lot of people if you could figure out what it was

06:40 And Kind of on the high level view, easy ways to get through them in a positive functional and

07:39 And thanks for listening. And So the idea when someone talks about Ironman and the idea that you would swim that far, and then cycle that far. And then get off the bike and go I know what I want to do now? I want to do a marathon! It sounds crazy when people say it. And so I did my first triathlon as a kid when I was seven years old.

08:40 and I don't know if you have them over there, but we have Walmart bikes. Like a little it's like not a fancy bike. It was what my parents could afford me no clip in pedals, no arrow bars or anything like that. It was just basically a plastic bike. But yeah, I had fun with it. And still finished second? Yeah and um... My sport as a kid was swimming. I did swim. Uh, I was on the swi- rec league never crazy competitive until I got to college. I swam for college as well

09:28 So are you tall? Are you like Phelps, are you like... Yeah. I'm built in centimeters but i'm 6'3", so I'm kind of built like the average swimmer, the collegiate swimmer guy yeah and at the time I was way bigger shoulders than lats because as a sprinter it's all muscles and after as soon as I stopped competing And Yeah. My whole life I'm like, I'm six and a bit he's 6'1". So she's going to me you're 6'1", I thought it was supposed to shrink when I'm getting old but no apparently she was adamant your 6'1". Okay. Take it. I'll take it. Take in ride with that. I like that. Yeah yeah well let tell you what lets do this lets unpack the whole story right because uh, you know, it is the story You

10:36 Your blurb says to me, you know, you got in a pretty horrific car accident at a young age. So how old were you and how bad was it? Yeah I was 15 years old we were on my mom, my brother and I were in the car taking my brother to go look at universities so we're driving up and down the coast of California looking there's a tonne of schools here so we were looking at all of them and And it was raised and I was awake, but I was reading something in the back seat. And all I remember hearing at that point was the wheels spinning when they went airborne and then trees, trees, trees, branches hitting you know like it was just a loud...and we ultimately came to a very quick stop and very disoriented everybody

11:41 I was awake, which was great. But my mom is in the front passenger seat crying screaming making sure her babies are okay. My brother was 16 and I was 15 at the time and they got out and I couldn't get my door open it was wedged in the dirt And I had... It felt like a baseball player had swung about full speed right about my mid abdomen so I was in significant amount of pain And I couldn't, I couldn't do anything. Couldn't move. I was wedged my seat had sort of collapsed if you're...I mean people are listening but i'm showing it my seat collapsed over my spine and my seat belt was across kind of my belly button because I was a little bit slouched as a 15 year old kid slouched in the seat and I folded over that seatbelt which broke my spine and tore a lot of my organs and yeah and I was stuck

12:35 By the grace of God, an ambulance watched us go off the highway. So they were on the scene immediately called fire immediately and Catch on fire. Yeah, yeah and we were in a SUV and they said cover your eyes they broke the back window of the SUV and now they said can you climb over? The suitcases because our luggage was in the back from the weekend can you climb out and get through here and I said I don't know I think I can and so I did with a broken spine torn abs torn abdomen organs everything just the adrenaline got me out

13:33 And as soon as I stepped onto the dirt, I tried to stand up and I couldn't. And they just fell. Who asked you to stand? Climbing out was enough thank you very much! Just standing up... Done. I couldn't do it so they put me on, they brought the backboard down the hill from the ambulance tied me up to it and got me up the hill And, um... They put me in the back of the ambulance and I woke up about five days later. They had put me in a medical coma, an induced coma for pain management. Yeah, I know from our conversations you were heavily into sport and skiing and basketball and baseball was in there as well so your whole identity to a degree especially as a 15 year old lad was

14:48 Probably around sport and being active. And absolutely, what? I mean, we could talk all about hospital and pain like that sort of stuff, but I always try and find Actually the real story inside of all this, like what was it like having that side of your life as a teenager tipped upside down? Yeah. So I, like you said, I was a competitive athlete across lots of disciplines and if it wasn't... As soon as one season ended, I was starting practice day one for the next season of the next sport. It was just, I loved it! I loved the team camaraderie of sports. I loved the physical exertion of sports. I loved being outside and just and

15:37 age range. So we had, we were on the same teams and did the same sports and he was much bigger than me like he was just a absolute muscle stud always. And so we always joked it was like Shaq and Kobe for the basketball reference that he was The Shaq. And if you wanted to back me up to do a layup I had no chance I could not And, uh, so when I was asking. So I come to in the hospital and, and I s you know, I literally that the accident happened October 10th of that year which was 19 2019 2019

16:30 The Friday night before that I was playing in a football game and had like the best game of my life. What position are you? I was a wide receiver. So running, catching taking the glory yeah of course you were! The pin up guy catching the ball scoring the touchdown It was so fun and and i had THE game in my life And when I came to and obviously couldn't move anything You know, am I going to be able to play sports again? And they said definitely not football. Maybe swimming you know and they didn't want to get my hopes up at all because there was also a likelihood of me not walking again. Yes they wanted to give you some optimism some possibility yeah yeah yeah i had a guy uh i had a guy on the podcast Mark Walmarod Afghan veteran he got caught

17:31 by a roadside explosive. Basically died... Like in terms of like clinically dead, the helicopter came and picked him up. He woke up back in the UK with no legs half an arm and one arm so I'm not trying to say oh he was worse right? Not trying to say that at all but just to have your whole identity pulled away from you like that and then go am I going to turn this into something or am I gonna crumble Let go of any possibility of living my life, of turning it into something. Yeah. It's not... we don't often get confronted by or not all of us in fact probably only a small percentage of us really come face to face with that decision in its truest form can I come back from this? Right yeah and I'm glad that most people don't have to face that. But if that wasn't bad enough

18:37 Sadly, your brother died not long after. Oh, in the car accident he just broke a little bone in his foot and he had to... Just to piss you off even more. Yeah. Not only was he stronger and more handsome but nothing happened in the car crash that he caused! He broke a little tiny bone on the side of its foot. He was recovered in like two weeks. Cheers bro. Love you. and a little scratch on his forehead, literally just a little scratch on the forehead. And that was... Anyway so we were at the gym in the neighborhood and I was working on little things that the rehab sort of had given me to work on and he was doing the same. Then he decided to go play a game of pickup basketball So i went in there and just sat down because he was playing against one of his best friends which is also a close friend of mine and another kid from the gym

19:39 And they're playing 21, which is a game where everybody plays for themselves. And I was sitting on the sideline and he went and made a layup and was running back you know back to the sort of three point arc and just went down like a tree. At first I thought it was joking at first I saw that and I thought he was just messing around trying to be make a funny weird joke and then instantly saw oh this is a problem And that's another one of those moments that second by second, I see it. I mean this was like I said it was over 20-25 years ago and he went down and instantly I knew he was gone like it was... It also in that moment you know very very strange way gave me almost immediate closure because I watched it happen and so I called I ran to the front to have them call 911

20:39 I called my mom immediately after. They raced over as so they loaded, they came to the gym the ambulance did, the medics did and they were giving him CPR to no avail and um...they loaded him on a gurney took him into hospital and my mom picked me up followed we followed the ambulance all the way to the hospital they took them in and my parents Met us both. They, uh at the time they were still together but they were in different locations met us at the hospital and um yeah they-the doctors kept coming out saying we're working on them we're not having success we're working on him or not having much success and then ultimately the doctor came out with the worst news that any parent or sibling could ever you know hear

21:30 And What's it taught you or what can you share about the grieving process? Because some people really struggle to let go of the experience of someone close to them dying. My mom died when I was nine, I'm able to be a lot easier around the subject of death when I talk to people or they tell me that someone has passed and of course I am sympathetic and don't want to be inappropriate

22:29 But one of the lines I often sort of come out with is, enjoy the memories. Don't focus on the grief, enjoy the memories because that's actually what they would want. Yeah go on please tell me what have you learned about grieving and being able to think about him without it always upsetting you? For me, I think grieving is almost like an emotion and a fleeting thing that it's not the end of the story. You don't...I would never live my life in grief but it like a memory sometimes things come in and you get choked up even to this day we're just talking

23:19 Get choked up and give it some honor, and then go about your day. And it's... Yeah I think the long run you just have to realize that those thoughts never end but they don't have to be your whole identity from that point on. Umm..I think a lot of people stay in the grief because maybe they have guilt that keeps them there or some other emotion that keeps them there But I choose to honor him and my family for giving him the life that he had. And for him, you know, it wasn't always the easiest older brother but he gave me a lot of laughs and we had...we..you know, a lot of.... He pushed me to my limits as an athlete. He made me be the best version myself in anything i did so yeah

24:16 I, I got to honor that. And even on my last Ironman this is...I'll go back a little bit so in a lot of interesting and meaningful moments in my life and my dad's life bald eagles have been around. Okay. This is not like American pride story but bald eagles have just been around and sort of it's been sort of a good omen for me and my father On my last Ironman, which was my second Ironman on the bike ride I was getting to a point where I was tired, exhausted hurt. My things 112 mile bike is you got a lot of things going through and also there's no, there's no, there's no, you can't, you're not allowed to have headphones in so you can't listen to music or anything. So you're in your thoughts, you're in your head and I was grinding at probably like mile 80 and I see two bald eagles off on the distance and I just mean again, I'm getting choked up it's just an omen something that reminds

25:16 A reminder for me to keep pushing because I knew i could and something from the universe told me you know, keep going and and keep driving. And do your best yeah! You just beat me to the question...I was gonna ask Do you ever feel like he's giving you a nudge? Do you ever feel his presence? It's fine if people want to say no to that question right because we don't all have to be spiritual We don't all have to feel that there is And we're going to be talking about the podcast, The Jonnie Jensen Show.

26:06 It's a, it makes me a little choked up and but yeah there's something there. There's something there for me. And for me sometimes I find it really warming like almost like the hug and I guess a bit rather might be different to your mom and some people might go oh you're just looking for that or you're just was a moment where you needed it so you could you conjured it out but Speaking personally for me, I don't believe that. I don't feel that. I do get a sense that she's looking out for me and when things happen by coincidence yes there is part of my energy and presence creating it. And there are also those moments almost like near misses where I think to myself oh okay yeah

26:50 There's a reason that lorry didn't just flip and wave me out. Yeah, with my mum in his ear going, go out the way! Don't run my son over kind of thing. So listen thank you for sharing all that and I really appreciate how real you were. You just mentioned in passing before your mom and dad split up so it sounds like the collateral damage of all that sort of swept across across the family? Yes You know, everyone who's listened to the podcast knows my kind of experiences of being a kid in a divorced family and then being a divorcee myself and taking my kids through that process. What was... blimey! How bad was it for you? Yeah so

27:35 My parents were always in my life and always positive support figures in my life, in their own ways. And always pushed my brother and I to do our best and excel at everything that we did It's interesting. So they met when they were first and second year of university, and I think that ultimately prior to my brother passing they had grown into very different people on with different life goals outside or just raising the kids. Yeah. Um, I think raising the kids was the unifier at that point if I had to look if I had to really dive in on it and one of the kids

28:18 and Yeah. And what's your experience?

29:05 If you were sharing your experience of that with a guy who's facing divorce or a guy who's thinking, I'm just going to hang on until the kids are done. Like is there anything you could say to a dad that might be hearing that? Obviously you're not a dad and I don't mean that in any kind of condescending way but it's powerful for someone who'd been through that experience to share it back with men who might be facing it or fearing what the impact is on children. What would you say to those men? So actually I had that opportunity to say something to my dad when I was 16. After the big emotional cloud was sort of, you know in the rear view mirror but we're and we're moving forward as individuals and as a family. And I knew at that age that he wasn't living his best life and living his dreams and being a fulfilled man.

30:03 I told him in the car, at this moment. I just felt you know what? I'm gonna tell him how i feel and I said I know that you're not happy in this marriage and I want you to know that you don't have to stay in it for me if that's the reason at 16 so he stayed another year after that I just knew, and I wanted him to be happy. And it obviously that broke my mom's heart. Um, I didn't tell her that and she might actually...I don't think I ever told her that so she might hear it now but yes if you're staying here for me don't, you know? As a 16 year old kid I was aware enough that I wanted my dad to be happy. I wanted my dad to feel whatever that was. I didn't know what it looked like for him but I knew it wasn't where he

31:00 At a certain age, your kid is maybe wiser than you think they might be. Oh my gosh totally and that can be really as well. Yeah completely not in any way significant at the moment but I bought we were always iPhone users right? And one Christmas and the guys like right okay we're gonna move to Android it's devices are cheaper we all in the Google flipping docs and photos and that sort of stuff so I did the research got the I gave the kids one, myself one. Like secondhand wasn't brand new and then spent about three months trying to move our whole iPhone life into an Android life right? It was awful! And then one day my daughter goes to me she's about six right she goes daddy no she wasn't sick didn't give up...I did not give my child 6 year old child of my mobile phone. She'd have been more about nine okay right. She goes Daddy i just don't think it's worth it boom

31:58 And Experiences pushed you to the edge of yourself emotionally. Do you think you became more emotionally aware, more emotionally mature because of your accident and your brother dying? That's an interesting question I think that I always was emotionally aware and maybe that's a younger brother thing maybe... Maybe that you know I watched family dynamics from different relationships in different points

32:48 and and You know, that is a powerful. Particularly parents wrestling with the idea of are they going to break up or not? Kids do just know I just want actually what would be really cool is if my parents were happy because then I'll be happy. That's all I want

33:39 So one final question on this sort of section. Did you get a better version of your dad as a result of the breakup? Absolutely, I can cut you off there! Absolutely I did yeah he's remarried and happy and living his life now and yeah... He blossomed into a new person really really really and Probably a good, I mean probably a good decade honestly before she started sort of blossoming into her own life again. Not I think, no she was derailed by... How old was she?

34:37 My mom is 70 now, so minus yeah she was 49. So I mean this is a this is an important topic which comes up increasingly in my work and my conversations with men she would have been right in perimenopause-menopause stage. Yeah. She's had the accident, she's had the death, she's got the divorce and she's perimenopausal-menopausal. And so she's really and Even when she was going through the worst of the worst, you know cheering me on at swim meets. When she was obviously missing my brother and cheering me... You know now I do my day job now is uh i do real estate and how's it going? And she congratulates me gives me a big woohoo text if things if I get a good sale and things like that. She still...I'm 42

35:48 Well it's shaping you to be the dad. And that's the wonderful thing about having powerful role models as parents, is it becomes the blueprint of something we're going to add to. Now other parents will have a shit childhood and their version is I'm not going to put my kids through that so their motivation becomes to do the exact opposite so another child comes into the world and has a better experience than they did now.

36:32 It's an interesting conversation to discuss which is more powerful, but in an ideal world we are evolving. We're building upon a positive blueprint and she has blessed you with that. That's good. Yeah they both have it's almost like that book Rich Dad Poured Out in a sense where I don't want to put them in that sense but it's two different Yeah. And that's an important message for me to couples is,

37:19 You mustn't lose sight of who you are. Like it happens both ways, you can not doesn't matter who's given up more right? But either way when you see couples that are struggling one or both of them has stopped being their true self and not only are they going to struggle with enjoying life And And That's fine. She can be that way, I don't need to go to war with her about it. I'm not going to change how I feel about it. And then obviously my kids are like, Whoa! I'm going to stay at dad's because he lets me stay out later. It is what it is right?

38:24 But listen, there's so much more to the story that I want to get into. In particular Ashton Kutcher but not because it is the best bit but just because I loved Two and a Half Men. It is definitely a unique little chapter in my life for sure! So we'll get to it. You get back on your feet you're back playing sport at college and Where does the modeling kind of experience and Europe and catwalks, how does that all show up? That's where it gets a little unique. Yeah so I had been told by a couple of people that I should get into modeling which my uncle did. My uncle was a model in the 80s and 90s Oh okay! And he actually talked to my parents out of it don't let Colin do it

39:08 What are we talking? We're talking billboards or catalogs, TV or... Yeah all of it. He was doing all that and then so my first job was for a department store in San Francisco and it paid me 1500 bucks for the day as a 18 year old kid I was like oh this is it! This is great yeah I'll do this every day of my life. What about the castings though because my brother got scouted or spotted in Harrod's If anyone's English, British he got scouted. His booker was Davina McCall who is now like a celebrity and TV host and everything but at the time she worked for a modeling agency and she was his booker He got spotted in Harrods actually But two things...He didn't really like it that much And more to the point his girlfriend really didn't like it so he did it for about 2 years

40:04 What, what, what? So how old were you when it started. Yeah so I was let me see...I was just about to turn 19 so I was 18 years old. Oh okay yeah you just said yeah 18. And how did it like how did it accelerate and did it, sorry two questions, How did it accelerate and as it accelerated Almost force you to make life choices or did it create the opportunity to make life choices? Yeah, so I will say the first couple of jobs that I got. I was still on a swim team. I was still at university. I was having an issue with one of my shoulders because with sprint swimming you put a lot of strain on your joints and I was getting really bad shoulder problem with

40:55 You know, you can either finish out this season or you can use your shoulder for the rest of your life. And so I wasn't really that...I wasn't going to the Olympics So I tapped out of being a competitive swimmer and pretty much immediately after that went full-time into modeling and my agent in San Francisco said, you know We can get you as busy as you want to be there's plenty of companies here and there's not a ton of guys So we can, you know if you want to do this. We can put you out or put basically they do they let's just say the Gap for example our Banana Republic they'll say hey we're looking for a guy who kind of fits this mold and then all the agencies send all their guys that fit that mold and then the company says okay we want to see these 20 guys in person because we want to see how they fit our clothes and we want to see what they mean how they move in person um

41:49 You Fit the Clothes to the Bed. I wanted to go to college. I wanted to start some business in Sacramento, California where i grew up and I was just going to be there and this opportunity came up where it was like hey you get to go talk to these different people every day because every single set that you're on is different people and they're all creative as some of them are very extravagant wild and some of them are

42:32 So I'm learning about an entirely new line of life, I guess. There's a whole other behind the curtain of marketing. I get to see all of it. I'm working with the designers sometimes I'm trying stuff on for the design team and they're saying okay we need to make this piece smaller over here or bigger over here longer in this section Sometimes how clothes are made. You get to see how ads are made, you get to see how photography is done and how they make it look beautiful. I understood lighting at that point because you see like okay this is my key light over here this is a fill light down here I need to be in this direction so the picture looks better so the clothes look better blah blah blah So you were leaning... Is it fair to say you were really leaning into the process not just being there like job but actually being there

43:27 So yeah, I thought it was fascinating. I thought it was interesting and I had this sort of like very wide eyed perspective of how, you know, how it was all done and how it was all made. I didn't know that I would be doing it still at 42. That's for sure! But there's something about people, there's an energy about people. In my work I talk a lot about energy and not like in a woo-woo energy but it's okay how you're being who are you showing up as when this is dumb model their who is just behind the camera or there's a guy whose really interested in the process and he's a pleasure to work with that's a different energy that's where people become interested in you and want you

44:26 And and and

45:24 I had immediate success there. I booked a bunch of things, one of the first campaigns i ever did was for a company called 7 Jeans. I was their first guy they ever had in any campaign back then Prior to that, they only had females in or just jeans. So I ended up doing campaigns for all the denim companies. They did True Religion back this is like you know in the early 2000s so I'll say all the names as like Citizens of Humanity. I did Hudson Jeans. I did...all these brands anyway and then The amount of success that I had in a short amount of time in Los Angeles I had an agent from Milan see me and say we want to bring you over to Italy

46:18 and The debauchery, you know. At that era of modeling in Milan there absolutely was. Yeah. There absolutely was. What was that like? Did you dive in or did you avoid it or what were we doing? I always...I liked to do everything as far as meaning like I wanted to go

46:56 I wanted to go see the DJ show. I wanted to go to the after party at this thing, uh...I wanted to go and then be up early in the morning and go for a run so i never wanted to get hungover um don't get me wrong I drank and I partied you know but it wasn't my...i never wanted to get drunk Um, being at the event was the exciting thing for me. Being around the people and the funny people and the interesting things was the exciting thing for me getting drunk never has been my goal ever I don't ever have never ever nobody's ever heard of me say hey let's go get drunk that's not me i don't want to do it I don't like the way it makes me feel I will have a drink occasionally but its not my motive for sure

47:46 And seeing some of the people around you who may have got pulled into those, some of those habits or distractions. As someone who found it quite easy to abstain what was it like seeing people who fell into it all? It's sad for me to see I have a lot of friends that got very into cocaine, very into drinking, very into...I had a friend who got very into heroin and It's always been around and I just opted out, you know? And it's sad for me to see people not being the purest version of themself. And it's interesting because I think a lot of people who do certain drugs thinks that makes them more themselves but it's the contrary. Yeah. It is such a mask that the drugs and the booze is such a mask and it's never your purest light shining through ever. I think for me cause I was

48:43 Early twenties in the nineties, you know it was rave time. Social media house music ecstasy clubs do you know? It was just a party and thankfully for myself it was always about having fun I never felt peer pressure. And there were times when I wasn't quite feeling it or I wasn't quite so confident and I didn't do those things. I took myself out of it, and then two years later a different job at different city with new people was like oh wow okay! And the ride started again. So yeah again I don't have any massive wisdom there but seeing people who are making those choices to fit in

49:44 Yeah, it's I think people there's a little systems check there that go you just nailed it yourself. Be in your true self. Am I being my true self? Am I with people that align with my values and am enjoying what's going on around me? I'm probably in a good place if they're all yeses. Yeah yeah I agree. That's one of my...I mean we haven't even touched on it yet but the pillars that I have in that toolbox is community but also its with a caveat Let's push towards that. Okay, so let's sort of...

50:28 Zip a little bit through this next bit. So from catwalks to where you are today via Hollywood and being somebody's body double and being in and around movies, TV... Do you consider that an extension of the modeling or was that indeed another new chapter where Take yourself to the next level, discover new things about yourself. Yeah it was definitely a next chapter it was definitely the next chapter so yeah I mean you sort of mentioned and I danced around a little bit but yeah for um for about five years I was Ashton Kutcher's body double and photo double for a series of feature films and a bunch of TV commercials that he did with Nikon as well as I was his stand-in for Two And A Half Men at

51:20 and I got to, one of the movies i did was it was called Valentine's Day and there was every celebrity in that one. And because Ashton was the number one on my call sheet, I got to work daily with all these big huge actors and see how they work. See before they before the director says action, I got to see what they're doing at the time I wasn't acting. At the time I had just had modeling and I'd done some tv commercials prior to that but I wasn't fully dived

52:11 And I was just, again wide-eyed. It's a new industry It's a new world for me. I'm going to watch how all these people behave and by the way, I'm sitting shotgun to all of them! I get to see it. Yeah. For you? Like I'm right there. I get to...I watch the interactions between, yeah, you know, and then, you know, you hear a take or hear a cut. The director comes over here so I think might work better for this scene or push them in a different direction. And I watched them process it and then go again. And it really taught me a new And I'm going to be talking about the

53:13 Really nailing it versus just kind of like, not as a bit like Premier League football soccer players or whatever. People that sports does at a really top level. What did you see about the people that really excelled? What sets them apart? What have you noticed to those being around those kinds of people? One of the most amazing things that I saw was their preparation in action so they were so prepared and knew the ins and outs of everything that this character would do That's step one. Step two is they knew their lighting, they knew their cues, they knew what would sound good on camera so they knew to have certain I mean timing and all of that it with the preparedness ultimately is the biggest lesson because if the director says no take that a completely different way that didn't land They took it in a completely different way They were ready to go because they were prepared They knew in and out hey I can run this line 47 different ways

54:08 Because I know this character. And if that, you know... and if the director says no we need it sad this time Here come the tears, we're going to say it sad. You know? And they just knew it... The preparedness as I keep saying that same word but that's what it was. Yeah a real lesson there for everybody listening to take that on. I love that excellence not about how you have to be the best but can you bring excellence to what you're doing because that will set you apart from others. That's it and they truly were excellent! I mean I got Oscar winning actors and they were excellent. They were excellent to watch, and you kind of realize okay I see why they have the accolades because somebody off the street definitely couldn't just do that so it was a very cool chapter. Yeah brilliant! And what's been the trajectory since then? Where did

55:10 Where did you reach a point where it was like, maybe I need to settle down now. Maybe we only need to get serious job or how did you recognize that one chapter was closing and another one about to open? Well so um...I kind of forced that chapter to end because i booked apart on and

55:55 A dozen television shows, a bunch of TV commercials which I still thankfully get to do and it's It's like he said though, I sorry booked this part in this movie and it collided on the calendar with the job with Mr. Kutcher and so I said I was at a crossroads do I lean more into me and believe in me and this path or do I stay sidekick in a sense to this guy? And I had just a straight up conversation with him I said hey man this has been an incredible ride but

56:31 I got this opportunity and i have to run with it. It was like Obi-Wan giving his lightsaber to Luke Skywalker! Yeah, yeah so he said go run with it but um...I gotta hire somebody else so you know? So I ran with that for a decade about yeah and I was doing still modeling doing some tv shows uh doing commercials and things like that And then when I, when I met my wife, I basically said you know, I got to get a job. Like like a real, a real job that's not like gig based and cause with working in that profession it is gig based some months its feast and famine, you know? Right. Yeah yeah. And what...I mean, you must have been around all sorts of women, hot women and what was the... I don't expect you to sort

57:28 And I know you like to keep things a little bit separate in regards to, to you and her. But what was it about her that stopped you in your tracks? The very first date and I had never ever felt this way before but my very first date I knew I was having...I mean, I knew I was talking with my wife and it felt like It wasn't an interview like a date normally can be, you know. It was like I was catching up with my childhood friend and it just felt good. And we didn't want the date to stop so we had our first...it was actually during COVID-19 So everything was closed except all in Los Angeles they had all the restaurants basically out on the sidewalk because nobody could do inside restaurants. We went to a lunch place, we went to a beach, very COVID friendly activity. And they said, You wanna get dinner? Because I don't wanna stop hanging out

58:16 and I wanted to be as respectful as possible because i knew, i didn't want to blow anything with this. I knew she was the one! I knew it just literally day one...I knew it yeah Yeah cause you can't tell them that on their first date No, no you gotta play it like She might run about a thousand miles an hour in the other direction He wants to marry me and I've only known him nine hours

59:02 Yeah. So, I mean, I knew it though and so later down the road she said she felt the exact same way. She called her sister after that date and said, Hey, I think something different happened here you know? And so I'm interested in what you're doing here about resilience right now. The magic of being able to go through that story and thanks to everyone that's listening and watching still for sharing this experience with you Colin thank you! What is it about the subject of resilience that you feel you need to bring to the world right now? What's missing, why is it important. Yeah so as a coach and you probably see this all the time as well when people face adversity they want to give up and for me that's not an option I always sort of had this personality I guess is what you call it

1:00:02 I want to see something through and do my best at it. Personal training clients that say, you know I gotta stop. It's too hot like no let's keep pushing. What are you talking about? You've only been here 10 minutes! Do it do it hot do a tired do it do a sore who cares just keep going why are you gonna stop yeah Yeah, yeah That's I mean that's the way my brain works is like yeah That's how I did the hundred mile ultra marathon it was not easy But I just kept going just keep moving your feet you'll get there One of my other kind of mantras, like the lessons at the finish line. Yeah. That's whatever it takes and if you really can't finish then so be it but trust me, the lesson is that the finish line yeah? I told my wife, hey look, I'm not going to go break something. So just know if I feel like my knee is breaking, I'm gonna stop. It's not worth that! I'm not winning money at this thing or it's not going

1:01:06 and Address a problem and figure out how we're going to move forward from that problem. And that comes from an athlete thing, it comes from a love thing, it comes from a career thing. If there's a problem let's figure out how to solve it and keep goin'. It comes from grief like grieving, grieving teaches people think the grieving is the end. It's horrible. It's like, How am I ever gonna get over this? I heard recently you know did read up on it The chemical reactions are that come with grief

1:01:57 Actually evolve us, there's some neuroscience in there. It like teaches us trust me you can get through this and you need to cause you're probably going to have some tough stuff coming down the line that's why actually it's really important that we let our kids have a goldfish or hamster because they need to experience what loss feels like So when they really lose something, they're okay with it. Yeah. Interesting. I never ever thought about that but you're absolutely right. I mean, I always thought about that in sports, you know be a gracious loser if you're going to lose and be a gracious winner if you're gonna win but I never thought about like yeah get them with the goldfish because they... You got to experience that. Yeah well

1:02:39 And on the sports front, the fat kid that came last or whatever reason they came last because you can't say it anymore. But the fat kid that came last just beat every other kid that didn't enter so don't worry about coming last just get yourself in the race and that's the important thing but but you're actually putting something together around this map of resilience what is that? Yeah, again I went back and thought about Well, I had a handful of people tell me you know you should really talk to people and figure out how to help people because people are going through hard things and you seemingly have a really positive outlook on everything. And then I said yeah no I do have a positive outlook like i'm super super positive about the future and always have been. Somebody said you should try to figure out what that is because I think that could help a lot

1:03:31 and I was able to use in any time that i felt down or at a loss or not the best In my job, maybe I wasn't having you know Maybe I was going through A low point in a relationship. I can lean on these pillars These tools and if I'm doing it least one of these nine things Every day I'm having a great life And If I am doing more than one a day and I'm living the dream.

1:04:21 I have them written down. The first six of them are good because you're not going to remember nine! No, no. I've got seven on this blueprint exercise I do with guys coming through the High Value Man System for Living and I'm like right there's seven when we put the blueprint together they're seven areas of life and every time i go to say them I'm like okay then six and then and I'm like did I say that one again? Oh man... and I'm sure there's going to be some crossover here with my person. I'm sure there will because these things are the things that we should be doing, absolutely! So number one, I start with gratitude and gratitude gets me through everything it gets me through

1:05:14 Everything including like a hard run. I'm grateful that I get to move my legs because somebody told me one day, I might not be able to and there's a lot of people that I've met who can't so I am grateful that I get to move my body today or I'm grateful that I have somebody who gives a shit about me. I'm grateful that I have a positive outlook whatever it is gratitude is the thing and I can always find a lot of things cause' I've done for years there are things to be grateful for Number two is healthy activities and that's food and exercise. So if I'm eating a healthy diet, I'm living a better life than if I'm not eating a healthy diet. If I'm exercising every day, I'm living a better life than if I'm not exercising every day

1:05:56 And I really believe that. And that can be as simple as pushups and a run, or it can be gym membership, or it could be training for an Ironman—and everything in between! The third one is getting out in nature—whatever that means to you. Get outside in nature. Go BE outside. Being outside is great, and the further away from a city you get, even better. I grew up in a city that was surrounded by hills with mountains and forests and all kinds of things. So if ever i needed to, my family always went hiking and camping and skiing outside and things like that so for me they just ingrained these go be outside life's beautiful this is also thankfully I grew up before cell phones because

1:06:45 It was the activity. What are we going to do? I would say, we're gonna go ride our bikes to the river. We're gonna go jump in the river swim whatever come back and ride our bikes home that's the day so being outside always gave me positive feelings and it's something it's a tool that I use if I'm ever feeling like man I've been inside all day I feel kind of weird I'm just gonna go for a walk and It's a good day. I think because you're using your imagination and if you're using imagination, you can kind of forget about pain for a moment or you can dive in and make some good out of the pain so creative outlet is is for me definitely a pillar education So finding not necessarily going to a university but like finding something to learn about

1:07:50 Anything. So it can be an educational podcast, it could be learning how to do something on YouTube, you know the University of YouTube about learning something like learn if you're learning something your expanding your world and I think that's important and it can also be free then I have intentional goal setting so not something that like hey I'm gonna breathe this that's like not a goal like at something that's like a little bit outside in my daily world That I can work at a little bit or a lot to achieve. So it's something that's gotta be achievable, but goal setting and that's going to be a daily, weekly, monthly an annual thing, a lifetime thing, but I'm working towards goals. And if I ever feel like I'm having a shitty day, I can set a new goal and start working on that goal today. Yeah. So that's big for me. Colin, that is fulfillment as creatures

1:08:45 Fulfillment comes from knowing who we are and what we want, and knowing we're actively moving towards it. Absolutely. When we know we're actively moving towards the thing that we said we wanted that becomes our And we're going to be talking about the

1:09:20 And the magic happens on the journey. It sure does, it absolutely does and it also gives you an opportunity to pivot if something happens in your head For example the other day I was on a bike ride literally this happened to me on Sunday I was out for a very long bike ride because I'm about a month away from my next Ironman and I was about five miles on this big loop that's like a 30 mile loop I was about five miles from my car at the end of the loop and

1:10:02 I had this country road blocked off, which I've never seen before. And there's fire trucks and I thought oh no somebody got hit there was an accident thankfully nothing happened like that There was an electric wire down across the road and they said you gotta go back to where you came from You can't cross this road. I'm out of water it's hot yeah and so i started riding away and I was like there is no way I can ride for an hour with no water in this heat and and

1:11:03 Those are, those are the six that don't involve other people. Oh, that's the six right? Okay cool yeah so then the other ones start involving people So The Positive Community which I mentioned earlier finding some community group that you can be involved with if you don't have family...I like family as mine because I lean on them for everything but if you don't have family it's okay You can find community in lots of different ways There has got to be somebody near you That you admire The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Colin Owensby, Owensby, HVM Scorecard, Ashton Kutcher, Milan Ironman Learn from and go meet them. And be part of their community because people who are doing better than you in some skill or some phase of career, or something want to help you. It's the people that are successful want to help other people be successful. People that are not successful or not positive thinkers wanna drag you down and don't want you to be successful so I always seek for the people who are doing better than me to surround myself with

1:12:04 So I find coaches, I find mentors. Even just friends. I think people sometimes, I can learn...I have a beautiful group of friends here that i've cultivated over 42 years that um..i'm really inspired by all the people that I hang out with so it's something that takes work but that is the first one that involves meeting people and doing things with people and I guess if there are people who are listening who have nobody within 10 mile radius to them somehow they live in the desert you can find a community through maybe a podcast or through some sort There's got to be something out there for you. I really believe it. The reality of it, yeah loneliness... It's you know, I can get quite challenging around the subject of loneliness because really the only answer is to get out there. Yeah. To talk to people and if you haven't spoken to anyone for a while getting in the habit of speaking to more people someone on the bus someone in the store someone on the street someone on the beach doesn't take much to say

1:12:58 Hey, that's an interesting bag or that's an interesting way. Like oh you're an Arsenal fan I'm a Spurs fan or your like whatever the... You notice stuff but you know and it would be have to take a moment to notice And then actually have the balls to say, hello. It does take a little bit of courage. It does take a little bit of courage but it becomes second nature and my wife maybe sometimes gets embarrassed by me because I will talk to anybody about anything on the podcast together. Exactly! The next one is giving back and volunteering and helping folks that don't have what you have.

1:13:42 And whatever phase of life that you're in, there are people who need help more than you. and you can help them out So giving back... One of the examples I do is recently got into an organization here that I helped with this group that pushes kids in wheelchairs in community 5k events because I don't need to run another community 5K for me! I don't need another T-shirt Yeah yeah But I damn sure want to help some kids who cannot walk and Oh man, right. We won't look at it. We'll save it for a wrap up conversation. Right? But Park Run started in the UK. It's a free 5k run timed with flipping 16 year olds that can do it in like 18 minutes or less whatever and then

1:14:53 Grandad Jones, who's walking it at the back. Right? And anybody else in between and it's called Parkrun and now it's all around the world and people set them up in their communities so it's in a park, It's 5k anyone can create one and they got like a whole pack for doing it and stuff but I dare say that there's a whole vehicle there for you to expand that You know, wheelchair 5k plan. That's that's gorgeous love that yeah I think it's amazing and i'm glad that I found an opportunity that allowed me to do that in the past prior this group I volunteered with an adaptive surf group in California so also kids who can't walk and some adults they get all... That one is a little bit more challenging because you're in the ocean

1:15:40 and and and There's a lot of benefit that can come from that if you want to go there. The other eight will help your life immensely, the spirituality, that piece is a beautiful one if you choose to go there as well. Yeah and the amount that different faiths overlap. Yes! That for me and then if you look at the timeline of some where how long these have been around for and you kind of... For me I end up going do you know what we can't all be wrong

1:16:50 And by the way, I'm not having it that X million of you think that X million of them are wrong and you're going to have a war about it. Right? Is there two gods? There's not two gods! How could you dare say there are two gods?! Okay, is it possible they're the same god but you just kind of come at it from a different angle. How dare you say that!? I was like okay right okay well yeah so the religiosity of it takes me out of it but the spirituality core of all of them has me enamored and we're on the same page buddy totally yeah and

1:17:32 And I still kind of like built my own path. There was this, Bruce Lee had this thing called Jit Kundo which was martial arts based but it was the way of no ways meaning learn everything and then whatever you need in that moment that's the tool you're going to use because you already know how to do all of it and I think the same thing applies to spirituality. I think learn all of it, learn as much as you can absorb everything and then whatever you need in that moment ride with And of course, the podcast is brought to you by the wonderful people at

1:18:28 It's a sin for me not to honor that blessing. So then everybody that I come into contact with, maybe that's my mission? Maybe that's what I'm up to here so when I honor that, that's when I get to make the biggest difference. Absolutely! That's kind of my spirituality in a nutshell basically. Absolutely, I agree with you. I think it's beautiful Yeah. Nice, thank you! And what is it that as we kind of wrap this up? What is it that you would like people to take from not just the map of resilience but your journey your experience as a man what do you want people to take from this time that we've spent together

1:19:05 Yeah, something I mean what what I did soul searching finding that list is me but i think it applies to most people. But ultimately like if you just made a list in your phone of things that make you feel good and then every day just do one thing on that list You're living a good life and you don't need anybody else to make that life good And people... If you are going through Other people are also, and other people have gone through. And you can learn from other folks and lean on other folks and come out the other side positive and happy and fulfilled like you mentioned that I think that's a perfect word is fulfillment. You can be fulfilled life no matter what's happening to you. Yeah. And I think that's what I want people to take away from it is you can have a fulfilled life and lead a fulfilled life if you look at it a little bit.

1:20:04 Thank you for listening. Well, what an epic time together. Thank you Colin! I know you said you haven't got anything to sell but colinowensby.com is the website right? And your on Instagram? The Colin Owensby...I don't know why we put the word THE in front of everything but it's in front of everything so thecolinowensby on instagram, TikTok, you know, the website all that and Colin with one L my parents did the 1L Colin not the 2L Colin So, yeah. Thanks so much! I really appreciate this conversation it's been great to get to know you as well

1:20:44 Guys, thanks for listening. Thanks for being part of The Jonnie Jensen Show. Like I said at the beginning if you got anything from this and I sincerely hope you did then be sure to subscribe to the show and that helps me right? That's great but that means you get the latest episode directly to you when it comes out and probably more important than that give this a share send it to other men in your life who would benefit from this conversation that Colin has so beautifully shared with us Cheers guys, I'll catch you next week.