Why Having Fun And Seeing Friends Is Vital For Men

00:00 Men, having fun creating energetic flow getting out amongst your mates and making new friends is an absolutely essential part of creating the life you desire and showing up as the man you want to be. Roll thing! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go Man, welcome back to The Jonnie Jensen Show. It's great to have you here. My name is Jonnie Jensen I am the founder and the head coach at The High Value Man Project and this is episode...I keep saying it's episode but we've done like 150 episodes. I actually checked this is episode 139 so I was

00:52 You lying bastard! No, we're doing okay. But we're pushing on towards 150 which is absolutely brilliant the podcast has been running now for about three or four years and there's been little bits of gaps but we are fully in the groove here in season five episode 22 this episode absolutely vital and it comes off the back of a fun weekend in fact an epic weekend that I've just had Epic as it was, there were still awkward moments. Still weird kind of standing there wondering like oh what am I doing here? Is there anybody I know or...I think i know that person but I don't recognize them! Like so much of what is pretty common amongst all of us and I think probably at any age but certainly as we get older and we're hooked up caught up in our busyness of our business,

01:47 And of just getting on with the daily grind that we forget to go out and have fun. We forget to put ourselves around people, and in this episode we're going to talk very much about that which might sound a bit weird like he's gonna talk about how to make friends like you kidding me? We're not a primary school But loneliness is an absolute modern disease and a little stat here, 60% of men admit they feel awkward in social settings at least once a month. Well they've got to go out at least once a month! I read another stat i've written down here something about loneliness and the number of men who actually admit to feeling lonely it was something crazy like

02:27 One in six or something. I'll find it in a minute, but you know there's been different...I know that Movember did a report a couple of years ago. Calm have also done a report on loneliness It is a modern day disease. It inflicts everyone and the reasons why it's so important to bring up one and the reason why becomes a disease because socializing having fun getting out amongst our friends is a habit when you get out of the habit You start to fester and rot, and like when it's gone too long you literally can't do anything about it because when your confidence is shot. When you've got like haven't done anything so you've got nothing to talk about then you really are completely stuck and getting out there for the first time happens a lot too. Dads get in over divorces and breakups then that getting out there can be one of the most confronting things to do but it is ultimately the solution

03:24 So that's what we're going to talk about today. It is great to have you here if you've just found the podcast, if you're just watching the live for the first time absolutely brilliant to have you here this is a show for modern men, for men who are committed to creating the life they desire rather than living one that they feel stuck in. And it's the antidote to the lack of masculinity that exists in the world and that problem is in and itself why so many men feel the way they do. It's why the divorce rate is so high, why the suicide rate is so high because men feel lost in their work, in their home, in their relationships...in the bloody mirror

04:05 And inside of the High Value Man Project, that's what we address. We equip men with the tools to focus on themselves to get their life structured and set up with a job and money basically in there and personal space health in there mental physical emotional mental health so that they can then be the best version of themselves to go out and find The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Albion, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jon

04:43 When you try and build all that on top of a very weak person, a man who is very lost and confused and lacking in confidence. Even if he's showing up on the outside has got it all handled then that's where the rot sets in I know because I did it to myself. I know because I had to pull myself through and get better on the other side of a breakdown of the divorce of all this shit that comes with that And find myself here today and to be able to look around me and say ah! I can see those guys who without realizing it, yes or no are actually showing up for themselves in their life and the results are coming to them. And then these other guys where we are following a prescription that we thought was going to deliver us the results and happiness that we desire but isn't maybe you've got success without happiness but isn't really success is true definition of success has to be happiness and success aka fulfillment

05:41 And so if any of that is where you feel like you want to be or you want to be around other men who've created that lifestyle and are living from that place, then come and get yourself involved. The place to start is at the High Value Man Base Camp which is HighValueManProject.com forward slash group that's high value man project dot com forward slash group that will get you into our complimentary area, You can book a power call with me everybody gets an invitation to do that and participate in all the bi-monthly webinar events live events the inner circle The Lodge Weekenders all of it you get access too

06:21 So back to the main point of today. So last weekend was a bank holiday weekend in the UK, it was Memorial Day in America so we were partying all around at the very least the UK and America people were partying It can be very uncomfortable at those times for people who feel like they haven't got the social life they desire or they have but they don't have the confidence to go out there and be part of it. It could be absolutely brutal, to see on social media all these people posting fun times their up too parties that are at people they're seeing you know it can really kick you in the bollocks and its not about

07:05 Men who are sat on their own in some grotty place with no money and no family loneliness can hit every man when you are successfully running your business when your focused on your family. You can still feel lonely. You can feel like the things that you used to do, the people that you used to hang around with, the person that you knew yourself as seems so far removed that you don't know where you stand and who you are or what to do and when that kind of thought takes hold thats where things go wrong it is a downward spiral if you've listened to lots of the High Value Man podcast or this podcast The Jonnie Jensen Show

07:46 Then you'll know that this downward spiral is everything that we talk about as high value man being the antidote to. When we're living a low-value lifestyle, everything's going wrong with not enjoying ourselves. We're not moving towards a clear goal. We don't have the relationships that lift us and fulfill us. We are not having fun and adventure in our life. We are stressing about money it can't help but be a downward spiral! And that's what we're creating The energetic flow is something we'll talk about in this episode, but the energetic flow is that it's the force that you're putting into the world. That brings opportunities, that bring good people, that bring fun and laughter and lightness to you. That is a high value man lifestyle! That's the kind of person that people want to be around. That's the kinda person that you wanna see in mirror so

08:38 As per usual, I've made myself lots of notes. As per usual we're probably straying far off them but i'm trying to... What am I trying do? Like when you listen to... Where do I listen to quite a bit? What's he called Lewis Howes, The Model Health Show, Shawn Stevenson Back in the day, it was Pat Flynn. Like some of these people who's the bulletproof Asprey guy? Some of those podcasts have been around for a long time they were some of the podcasts I've listened to since day one how far they've come since those times Mel Robbins is another one How far they've come since those times getting things polished up that's what every is driving towards So of course we got this show notes but

09:32 There it is, there's the stat. Nearly one in four... worse than that! One in four men report frequent loneliness Long-term loneliness raises the risk of depression by 60% and early mortality so you die earlier by 26%. And then in the UK The Office Of National Statistics reported in 2024 that 5 percent of UK men say they often feel loneliness How the hell do we fix this? Oh and by the way, when I was doing the research for the title of this, how to get more friends was right up there in terms of high searched videos on YouTube. And it doesn't have to be that way!

10:22 Someone let's just talk about myself really cuz i make this story pretty personal this weekend was epic we went to a vinyl countdown event at the albion on the saturday it was dj vinyl only and. The people there, it was packed and it was like good to see so many people out and about. And like the old days right? And it was packed loads of old faces, people who I hadn't seen for years a lot of them whose bloody name I couldn't remember. And to be fair some of them started talking to me and then they were like I'm friends with so-and-so and so-and-so! And then I go oh yeah

11:05 Still trying to remember. Now, I'm not saying I'm flipping awesome but lots of people remember my name so when i was a teenager I had a nickname JJ only reason I really dropped that was when I went to university it was quite far up north So you're meeting like northerners scousers people from Liverpool Manx people from Manchester and you're saying to these people all right My name's JJ and they're turning around going JJ what the fuck is that? I was not making friends by introducing myself as JJ. So, I reverted to what my family all know me as, as Jonnie and so forevermore I'm Jonnie right? But yeah bumping into people they'd be like oh JJ how's it going not seeing you for ages! Oh you look just the same and then they would go in...oh good

11:52 Good. But those moments you just have to lean into and one thing I have discovered is that if you say to someone quite early doors, Oh brilliant what's your name again? Then it deals with it quite quickly the longer you wait into the conversation The more awkward it gets especially like you can't end the conversation with oh by the way remind me of your name again but just like you can't do that okay so tip number one If you need reminding people names ask at early door But the reason I'm sharing this story is that the awkwardness that so many of us will feel around social situations or around getting to know new people exists for all of us.

12:33 One guy I bumped into, so as good as the Saturday night was and it went on perfect about 11 o'clock. Everyone dancing hands in the air old house music tunes my incredible girlfriend Jo and it was brilliant we were bobbing around chatting to this person catching up dancing together you know and the whole night went like that Was another party this time a daytime thing funk and soul sort of the pub was even more packed it was just like. Dare I say it just like being in our twenties again and it was the same people, that's the magic of it. It was a real flashback to days gone by and hopefully not to mention the bloody L or C word but since being locked in our houses for two years seems far enough now that people are happily going out again but don't let that thought trip you up! I'm standing there in this pub full of people and theres pockets of people chit chatting

13:34 I don't they seem to be everything tonight and the same to be having a lot of fun in my car remember why do i know as many people what any that full back concern creeps in. And the thing is, if you let it fester. If you let it take over then in the moment have you not have as much time? Have as much of a good time and in future when you look at going to that next event you might end up thinking oh well it wasn't as great as I thought it was! I'm probably not gonna go and do that again... You have to lean into it this one guy I got chatting too

14:11 Nice guy, old friend from back in the day and I hadn't seen him for a year. We saw we were together at similar party about a year ago so i said to him how's it going good stuff yeah he said oh yes brilliant so good to see everyone not really been out since I saw you last year and there is the kicker! We're all in the same boat It's so easy to presume that everyone else having a great time and every nows flipping out every weekend seeing people because that's what it looks like on social media now some people Some people are, and that's what this message is very much about. You've got to get out there and put yourself amongst people you've got to make the effort on a social level To fill that side of yourself up in terms of the high value man fire code it's the R in FIRE It's the relationships part obviously if you're seeing those people then you'd like to think they are having fun so its also the energy part

15:06 And that's where these pieces overlap each other. And if you are being around other people and if you are having fun, then that's going to support and boost your emotional and mental well-being the focus of the fire code now Of course, If you flip it and not doing any of those things all those areas will be impacted That's the point! That's the importance of it Each night out sharpens your social muscle. Social interactions release dopamine and oxytocin which are key for your mood, and your focus in your creativity that's why it's part of you're upwards spiral on a basic level if you going out and engaging in conversations and you're practicing talking to test driving things that you've been up too recently

15:55 So that's where I talked about it as your social muscle, that's where you get to be sharper funnier more magnetic. It's there isn't another way you know what i guess there is there all we know if they've been like a tablet and not be able to live inside of the party for couple of hours but that isn't real either What's real is having an interest in life, being up to stuff putting yourself around people. My dad who you will know from regular listeners will know it as I often reference as one of my greatest influences and inspirations he has always got people around him

16:33 From a selfish point of view, he doesn't like being on his own and he likes having a laugh. He also likes getting pissed so when he has people around to his house he's ticking all those boxes. Seeing people is having a laugh and generally getting pissed. So happy days! Now when he has someone else round the week later... ...He's got points of reference. He's got things to talk about because he was doing it the week before That's why this thing is so important. That's why you've got to break the cycle of doing nothing or not going out and seeing people, not because you're useless and shit but because you might be too busy but because you have kids and stuff to do that's understandable But you have to carve out time for yourself to do these other things To put input into yourself to fill that bucket in your life which is YOU

17:21 You can't be dependent on your missus for all the fun and joy in your life. Anyone in a boring long term relationship will know that doesn't last, and if you're wondering where the passion intimacy is going to your relationship it's because you are relying on her for everything. You've got get out there put yourself amongst people this idea I mentioned earlier about energetic flow Is all of this that I've just mentioned into a nice little title. Energetic flow, you might have heard of the expression about flow being so in the groove that your creative life is easy? Well i like to... I don't know if it's real but probably should search up and might turn out that I heard from somewhere else but energetic flow is where you are the creative force in what your'e up too its were your putting yourself out there

18:16 If you're looking for a relationship, then you're not sat at home scrolling through Tinder hoping that someone pops up. You are actually out there! Not that you expect to meet that person but if you want to meet someone who runs and you go running... if you want to make somebody into music then you go to a concert or if you wanted me somebody who plays music you got to a jamming night local pub like it's not always that you expect to meet that person there either when you do bump into someone at The Q You know, waiting in line at the airport and you notice what she's listening to or what she's reading. You can be like oh yeah I was this cool thing last week where i did x and suddenly your engaged the confidence is up because your out now you're talking to her it's an upward spiral this energetic flow is creating force around yourself force in the universe

19:09 Because it's not a coincidence when you find yourself listening to some music that you heard whilst you were out or noticing someone that you hadn't seen for awhile because, you know, you noticed them in the supermarket because you saw them at the thing you're at the other night. That's energetic flow like the champagne, you know like champagne in the bottle. It's not until you shake the bloody thing that explodes and something happens. That's what we're talking about here If you're not doing it then guess what, you gonna feel shit and if you feel shit then your gonna be shit. And that's going to impact your work is gonna impact relationship is gonna impact how you show up as a dad and don't catch... Don't trip yourself out by comparing yourself to other people social media streams

19:58 Bit like the example of the guy I was talking to at the Funk and Soul event. It's not always as you might see it, if you want to feel the difference, You gotta be the difference! To hell with the rest of it take what I'm sharing with you here right now and go out on planet inside The High Value Man 3XC Inside Commitment is the idea, the concept of planning for fun. Not exactly rocket science but creating your bucket list going through making a list of all of the friends and relationships that people from your entire life who you remember having a good time with who would like to be reconnected with then you focus on how many people or at least did I connect with one person family or friend this week have i made quality time for my children have I been out on a date night

20:48 Have I had fun on an adventure? These are the habits and routines inside the fire code. So you see how it all fits together, but it comes from an energetic flow of you actually getting out there and doing something about it. Think about what is that your up to look at how many people you spoken to or how many things have been to or how many concert tickets you bought in last year if not doing all those things get in motion Get a piece of paper out right now or just sit and simply dictate into your phone who you're gonna call, what tickets you wanna go to get to get. What do you want to get tickets for? Blimey Jonnie! Get it out there plan one adventure every six weeks or every month

21:36 In terms of your relationship, talk to each other about what do we want to? What did you used to when were dating. Get out there having people around for dinner like don't worry I'm not some flipping guru who's got it all nailed these are all things that i have to proactively do and sometimes feel uncomfortable about having people round for dinner. It's like oh what are they going to eat or drink, where are they gonna go straight after, is this gonna be fun? My dad doesn't give a shit gets people round cooks food get some piss as a laugh And when I get people around and do that, that's generally how it goes. Because the old adage of people like you like people like you... The person you invite round for dinner your old mate is probably thrilled to actually have something to do! That's the importance of this structure and routine and energetic flow of a high value man lifestyle. I've got some more notes here but i'm not even sure if im going go into them right?

22:38 Watch out for mindset you know the whole kind of I'm too busy they won't wanna come oh it's a bit awkward i don't know what to say all those kinds of mindsets are traps. The trick when those sorts of thoughts come up is to notice them and reframe them. Like actually ask yourself, what's the complete opposite of that thought? The complete opposite of that thought is they recognize me as well and they're waiting for me to go over say hello okay good I'm gonna go and do it oh it's going to go wrong well is he gonna go wrong and was the worst thing could bloody happen They'll say who the bloody hell are you? They'll say I don't...I've never liked you naff off or there be like hey how's it goin'?

23:16 And the last one is probably a lot more likely than the other bloody two. So that's what you've got to do, you gotta push through! You gotta get into the habit of reframing situations creating a positive alternative version and getting into a state of energetic flow Make a list here are my actions for you Many of these fall out of The High Value Man 3XC and Firecode so make that list of old friends Make that list of things you used to do, that you don't no longer do. Make that bucket list of things that you want to do in this world in this life they could be big or small learn a Rubik's Cube or climb flipping Kilimanjaro get them all down and everything in between This is how you create an upward spiral in your life This is how you become that magnetic force That man and dad that you know you are truly And that you want to be on a day-to-day basis

24:16 I would love to get your input and feedback on this. If you come over to the High Value Man group, it's off of Facebook now because we've just found is a better place to be. You can simply go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group that will get you into the base camp bring Your experiences, bring your thoughts and concerns. We've got to have just actually scheduled in the first Lodge Weekender which is going to be in November a big fire walking event up in Aviemore in Scotland we've got social here down in Kent just before the summer it's actually coming up about three weeks time and everything and anything else that we plan in between that on Sunday were going into a free mini festival in Folkestone It's about putting yourselves out and

25:01 Anybody can create a social, whether you're in Liverpool or in Southampton or in Maidstone. If your part of the High Value Man Project then these little social events are popping up all the time it's about being part of it, its about creating that upward trajectory literally exploding the cork from the champagne bottle Anything you need from me, you can drop by on my socials. I'm pretty much Jonnie Jensen everywhere but of course like i said the first and the best place to start is inside The Bass Camp and one final thing before I forgo reviews if you've listened this far then bloody hell you're either like super keen or you forgot to turn your radio off

25:45 Get yourself, I put it in the show notes. There are links there to The Jonnie Jensen Show on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts. Please drop by and leave me a review. It massively helps boost the podcast and for the best review of the week I offer a free, gift, prize of a Power Code session with me. That is a one-on-one normal cost £150 to $200 for a one on one session with me to really dig into one key challenge or goal inside your life and we'll apply the High Value Man system for Living principles to it to create you a blueprint and action plan to move forward in that area

26:27 So drop me a review, it'd be my absolute pleasure to receive it. Please share this podcast with other men in your life and let's spread the word! The high value man life that you desire is totally available you just got to go out there and grab it I'll see you next week until then let's go Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow dads! Creating the life you deserve starts with YOU. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go