The 5 Myths Holding Men Back

00:00 Men, the top five myths I hear about why high value man won't work for me. Which is basically why men won't do the work on themselves. Roll theme! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go Hello men, welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show. I am the founder and head coach at The High Value Man Project and it is my pleasure to be here with you so why don't men want to work on themselves? It has been Book Week International book day what do they call it well book day that's what they call this week and heard a bunch of different radio stations talking about

00:56 You know, the whys and where's of it all. Quite frankly as a dad as my kids are now teenagers I'm a little bit relieved that I don't have to come up with crazy outfits also when you find out the night before or 24 hours before oh Dad can you make me look like Willy Wonka? So anyway but yeah but one of the stats that was commonly talked about yesterday was The percentage of people who haven't read a book in the last year and it was crazy high. It might even have been longer than the last year, but you know you're talking about 70% of people which I've heard other stats contradicted. You know about how book reading is booming? There's always a load of bollocks isn't it? Now you get a day like this and different organizations come up with studies and research and stats they've asked 50 people and decide that half the world that relates to anyway point being and you can decide for yourself how many books have you read in the last 12 months

01:57 Which does drift into this subject today of men willing to work on themselves. And I hear the same reasons, you know obviously your part of this podcast watching is live which is great there's the brotherhood which is our free complimentary community like that entry level into everything we do here at The High Value Man Project And then there's paid work. There is the Inner Circle, then there are 10-week programs and The Elite. So there is a sales conversation that somewhere along the line or an invitation that people can either accept or decline somewhere along the line but it's the same reasons over and over again I hear and they're generally bollocks so this live today is really a message to you to look at what are you up too

02:49 Because if you're not moving forward and you are fundamentally moving backwards, if you are not leveling up and taking the opportunities to find out about yourself. To be a better person, to be more than you were last week then what's the point? Where where are you headed? And if you absolutely smashing it in certain areas of life then that's great but time and time again I see people I've been going out and networking this year as one of my commitments for 2025. And you see people, they stand up and they introduce themselves and it's all good about what's going on. An then later on we'll have a chat and they'l be like yeah but...and there is this one area that it's a complete nightmare. They could be..they got some level of addiction. I'm not an addiction coach clearly but its not like being crackhead. They're just saying like I spend too much time

03:44 Gaming, on my phone playing golf even like my relationship suffering what can I do about it? Or my relationships struggling and its impacting the entire rest of my world. What the hell can i do about it or im just a bit fed up and bored. I've hit 50 and haven't got bloody clue, hit 40 and haven't got a bloody clue who am I and whats going on! What can I do about it?! And so what comes up at the front as though the reason I can't do this isn't necessarily the truth about what's going on behind. And I want to pull back the curtain on that before I get into that, I am cranking out the reviews on the podcast. I'm doing a review of The Week right if you leave a review and it turns out to be my favorite view review and that doesn't have to mean is good by the way

04:31 If it's highly critical but makes me laugh, then you could find yourself being review of the week. Review of the Week gets a one hour power call with myself that is normally 150 quid or couple hundred bucks right so it is value if you are enjoying this get yourself over to Apple Podcasts, get yourself over to Spotify Leave a review and of course if you're watching then please like and share, subscribe if you are on YouTube. It is all significant help and support to the High Value Man mission A mission to impact 1 million dads around the world so that we can transform divorce rates suicide rates actually give our kids healthy thriving family unit to grow up in

05:15 So let's dig in right. Number one in the top five myths about why people won't, why the High Value Man project wont work for them? I'm not into that personal development stuff now! I think that the subject of personal development has come along you know in the last 20 years certainly when I first read Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway in sort of 19 1999 1998 sort of time, you know and discovered Tony Robbins whilst watching late night TV. I was one of the few and so it's come a long way now right but still

05:59 Men will feel like, well I'm doing fine. I don't need that sort of stuff you know it's just not for me and I don't really like to talk to other men. They've got an idea in their mind about what it's all about which isn't necessarily true You've got to go and eat a flipping curry before you can find out what a curry tastes like. You gotta get some running shoes and go out running before you can say I don't really like running! You've got to know what its like to peel back the curtain on yourself and be like wow I never knew that the way i thought about that could be shifted. I never knew that the way I struggled to get out of bed in the morning or what reason why can't stick to a fitness or diet was actually something I could take more control off it's not all flipping and self-help fluffy stuff right thats bollocks actors athletes

06:49 Business tycoons they have coaches they want to improve. They want to make themselves a better man but why is that relevant to all of us well here's the everyday stats about is it more divorces are initiated by women than men, a significant number more so why is that what how are men showing up in their marriages? Male suicide rates are the biggest killer of men under 50. Why is that? Why are men suffering and struggling to actually just on a basic level enjoy their day-to-day life, and the number of bored frustrated overweight there was a stat came out in the radio today about loneliness, the number people reporting to be lonely and in particular how that impacts men between fifty and sixty five

07:36 Like, coasting through life like this is simply shocking and you've got to take control. So the way you look at how you take control of that is well how could I be better? What could I do for myself? Wouldn't you rather feel like you're in the driver's seat of your life instead of flipping stuck in the back or worst stood on the pavement watching all the cars go by! Number two...I don't have time. This thought about I don't have time will probably be prevalent in multiple areas of your life and it is one of the root causes of everything that's wrong. Now that could be a big thing that's wrong like all of it or could be one little thing but be clear when there's one thing wrong in the area if you're not then it will bleed into the rest

08:24 If your health is in the shitter, then you're going to struggle to perform at work. If you're struggling to perform at work, you're gonna bring that stress home if you're fat and overweight and you don't really feel confident naked then that's gonna impact on your relationship so it's one little thing that bleeds into everything else no time for a date night? Your relationships gonna die! No time of fitness? Your body is gonna break down have a heart attack or some somehow Other disaster, no time for yourself. Your mind will collapse under the pressure mental physical emotional energy is what it's all about so based on your current lifestyle you're right you might not have time there will need to be some adjustments but that is why your current routine is broken when you say to someone what's your routine? I don't really have a routine well you do! You just got shit one So when you look at like what's it going to take to optimize myself

09:18 Make time in the morning for a better routine and then the rest of your day transforms so that you come home and have a better evening, make more money have more fun. Then it's an upward trajectory that starts with you taking responsibility for what you have time in what your prioritizing because if you keep running on the same hamster wheel then you're going to burn out broken relationships and regret are gonna be everywhere okay next up There's nothing wrong with me. This is a classic one right? There's nothing wrong with me, what are you talking about why do I need that? That in itself suggests a very closed mind to everything that's available now for sure in this broad

10:07 Spectrum of where a man could be at in his day to day life on his journey to achieving is goals and he's vision and achieving potential right you could be many places along that journey. So it's not true that there has to be something wrong with you in order to be a better version of yourself, in order to catapult yourself forward actually create something better. It's not about Is there nothing wrong with me? What are you talking about, is there something wrong with me. I don't need fixing. The real question is are you moving forward? The real question is what's possible if I do this and that's where you get intrigued that's where you get interested in where your at and what other people up to. What other people up too that doing this all right how did he... How come he's got his world set up like that how come him and his missus holding hands laughing and we're sat here looking our phones

11:04 Are you leading in your family with certainty and strength? Are your kids inspired by how you're living, are you hanging out with them or they communicate with you having fun with them. Are you squeezing the most out of this experience called life so it's not about fixing I've just said is that asking yourself what possible do you want to become more are you just settling for enough It's great if there is a real challenge that you want to address because it gives us the springboard but if you just think its all about then your missing out. The Lodge Weekenders where we conclude our 10 week cycles, the Fire Code. It's all about ourselves and focus on ourselves then Impact how we manage our money what's our business look like? This isn't a business program but it is about how you're showing up as a leader in your business about how much are you managing yourself

11:59 Then relationships, how you're showing up for the people that matter to you most. Your wife or partner for your kids for your family and friends your mentors and network like where are you in the world in relation to other people? And then energy are you having enough fun adventure and peace Because if you look at those four areas and instead of saying, oh there's nothing wrong with me I'm doing all right. You could say wow what possible? What's available? What's more for me in each of those areas now that's an interesting question number four number four uh i can't afford it when that comes out as like a well that's just the reason right it actually

12:44 Covers up a lot of else what's going on. Many people will go out each day and waste money on crap, you know Deliveroo and Just Eats and whatever they're called wherever you live like people are getting McDonalds delivered to their house for breakfast or all people find money for holidays You know what's gonna be fun will feel much better when we come back without actually addressing why, you know what's going on here. We prioritize and find money for what we think like we need most and in this throwaway instant world what we need most could be a flipping coffee to the failing to appreciate that 8 quid for bloody coffee is ridiculous

13:28 Subscription services that you've forgotten about. The list goes on, it's about recognizing what value you're seeing in what you're doing This isn't some like clandestine excuse of just pay the money right. There's there's the brotherhood which is free, there's the inner circle which is a month to month program, there's the group 10 week cycles and then elite but this levels for everybody I hear the excuses on giving you here are all sorts of people Then there is the men that make a stand and be like, yes I can see what i want to get out of that and im going to make it a priority. I can see whats in for my relationship and business and family to thrive thats what Im gonna make a priority. And fundamentally thats about putting yourself first for once in your life not out of selfishness but out of self leadership when you are more for yourself you can be more for others

14:28 So can you afford not to is really the question. What happens if this carries on the way that it's carrying on? What is ultimately going to happen, what does it look like? What's the predictable future as I once was explained it was it predictable almost certain future and what when someone says I can't afford it well I really hear is have no clear vision for my life and don't prioritize myself If that's challenging, like yeah Jonnie but you don't understand. Well cool talk to me! Inside the fire code we've got the high value man lifestyle checklist right? It's 16 habits and principles that when you do them when you execute them when you implement and when you play with them in your life your life naturally improves your relationships improves you take control of your finances and money like um...when you have more fun and when someone says to me I can't afford it right

15:27 I know, but let's just be clear right that is the reason how many of these things are you doing because you could do these on your own anyway. I'm gonna like what i'm doing that one and that one but not the others okay well it says no about the money is about your willingness to step up its about your willingness to make the changes in yourself for the benefit everyone around you it's not about money it's almost never about the money and number five The Real Kicker It won't make a difference. You know, oh you don't understand I've tried everything already it's not my fault right? It's her! If the marriage was better i'd feel fine... It won't make a difference is a cunning disguise for a lack of responsibility and actually to caveat that it might be that you're taking responsibility in the wrong places when

16:26 Did key person of influence and a couple of other business courses back around 2010 1112 it was all the focus on if I could just make the business better than everything else will be better. The problem was it wasn't actually about the business, the business is growing I was training hundreds of social people in social media reach each month we had five members of staff like It was me that was struggling it was my marriage that was broken it with a level of responsibility the only thing there I just looking in the wrong place. If you think that it won't make a difference if you think your the only one if you think people wont understand then is actually little bit victim mentality

17:14 One of the most transformational things when you put yourself in a group with other people is to find out that either they're going through exactly the same, same challenges. Sales money stress relationships kids health whatever it might be And they're feeling exactly the way that you are and you thought you were the only one. Or, curiously they're feeling the same way that you are but they've got something else going on. That is the most transformational! That is the most like freedom you find... You're like oh what shit I thought this was all because of my thing and yet he's feeling exactly the same way or he's challenged by the same things He has the same goals but it's about something else so

18:03 This it won't make a difference is the level of awareness and responsibility where you see that you do have ultimate control in everything. My marriage is over because of her or my marriages the way is because she's like this no probably not could be down to how you stop leading could be down to how your doing too much for it could be down to how your working hard, not showing up as the man she fell in love with My business is broken or my business is stressing me out. I don't even know if I enjoy it anymore, like whatever that version is." No you're probably operating from fear and not really taking some of the bold decisions that you need to take all the classic really which is the catch-all If I just fix X everything else will be fine well no The x thing is probably a byproduct of where you are off

19:00 Where you're not quite in the game. And the classic is, you know like across your life whatever's going on there's one con... and that's where you get to take the ultimate responsibility across these five myths. Where's my list? I'm not into that personal development stuff. I don't have time! There's nothing wrong with me! I can't afford it or it won't make a difference. It was just checking that I hadn't repeated one there. Oh that's lucky It's it isn't about sitting in the shit and wondering like oh how am I going to deal with what's coming next. It's about looking at the vision you have for yourself and your life, The idea of the man you want to be for yourself, for your family, for your kids How much fun are having in the world with your wife with your family with your friends

20:00 Looking at what's possible for me tomorrow. What haven't I done in the world, in my life that I would like to do? What would it look like if I got rid of this crap and had all the stuff that I wanted? It is not a click fingers magic wand type scenario but it is about consistent step by step moves forward How you eat the elephant one bite at a time. How you win an Olympic gold medal is your train every day, how you make a killer business is your work on it bit by bit and don't work on all of it on your own. How you transform your relationship is show up as the man she fell in love with or how you fix a broken relationship could also be that you have the bollocks to end it! So all these myths are actually what's holding you back and its time to challenge them because either making excuses or making moves

20:56 Literally, whether you're in the Brotherhood and you are utilizing all the free resources. Whether your taking part in the upcoming 5 day challenge, whether your joining the group which is happening in April or whether you want to work one on one with me in The Elite then it's about you leveling up about you stepping up and taking opportunities And if its not with me then go get that book or watch one video Tony Robbins Jim Rohn Zig Ziggler Mel Robbins, they're all out there. It's about what you want and making it happen so

21:35 I gotta go, it's Friday over here. As always i try and get this out at the end of the week so it gives you something to listen to over the weekend please go to Apple iTunes... Apple iTunes? What bloody year is that? Apple Podcasts Spotify and leave a review and get yourself over to the new High Value Man group which is very simply at highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group that is your springboard and access to every single thing that we do here whatever it is that The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen