Paul Elliot #5 - fasting, pitching to win, coaching billionaires and a Dad

00:00 Welcome Team Super Dad. This interview with Paul Elliott is awesome. Paul is a speaker, a big event speaker. He's a martial arts expert. He's a dad. He's a coach. He has worked with billionaires and as well as guys like me, soon to be millionaires. This is a Corker. Welcome to Team Super Dad Role Theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.

00:43 Yes, good afternoon, good evening, morning, wherever you are, what time of day it is, I don't know, but welcome to the Team Super Dad podcast. It is great to have you here. My name is Johnny Jensen and we are Team Super Dad helping dads create their best lives ever, especially dads who are coming out of divorce, separation or loss. This is an interview episode with Paul Elliott. I first met Paul. He was speaking at one of those big events. I'm talking like thousands of people. And he was talking about, it was about 10 years ago now, about making money online, like an internet business. And then he ended up on stage at the end and he was doing these empowerment activities, board breaking with hundreds of people.

01:25 And it was really a eye-opener to me, one of the first times I'd been at a big event like that. It was part of my personal development journey. And in many ways, part of what leads me to being here, the founder and creator of the Team Super Dad program and community and the rebuild program and really helping dads, like I said, create their best lives ever. We've all been through some crap, to be quite honest. But that is life. And it's when we realize that those experiences, you know, aren't necessarily failures that we have to carry around with us. They're just lessons that we've learned. And the more we can learn from those lessons and move on, then the greater the life we can have. And that really is about creating the best life ever. And Paul is an awesome example of this.

02:08 He's not been divorced himself, but he has got a wonderful relationship with his family. And he talks about his life growing up and his relationship with his stepdad. Not that he calls him that, but his biological dad was not around. So that's really interesting. His story of how he's actually coached himself and his development there with him working with coaches for his own, his martial arts, his food, his alcohol, which he doesn't take a lot of on board, which is an interesting knowledge for us all to look at and think about ourselves. Fasting. Just a really great interview. And so many examples in this interview of

02:54 the habits of successful people. And like I said in the interview, in the intro, Paul's worked with some serious big hitters, some very successful, multi-multi-millionaire people. And I think that's important, not because, oh, that's cool, but I think it's important because it gives us some insight into, you know, that these people, no matter how successful they are, they have similar challenges and thoughts to all of us. But it's the way that they react to those and push past them. If you're looking for ways to react and push past your problems, then I encourage, well, I don't mean problems.

03:30 You know, I'm thinking about those things are in the past, right? It's all about the today. It's what are we doing to create that best life ever, to rebuild, to have a future that we're really living into, that we're excited by, that our kids know about and are excited about. So, yeah, I don't like to use that word's problems because that's not what it's about. This really is about a group of men, a group of dads, the Team Super Dad community who are up to stuff, who are doing more than the average Joe, who have said, no, this isn't the life that I want. I have goals and ambitions. I just need the tools and tricks and the people around me to actually achieve them. So thanks for being here and listening to the podcast. If you like it and love it, please comment, rate it.

04:15 You can come and do that on the Facebook page, on the videos, on the YouTube channel. Just search up Team Super Dad on those channels. If you're listening on a podcast, then please give us a review on iTunes. It's a great way to get it up the rankings and out to more people. If you're listening to ACAST or Spotify or any of those other channels, then yeah, definitely like this podcast. Give us a review on there as well, because the more I can get this message out to people, the more success I can create for it. This is my life now. This is my everything. There's only a finite amount of time. Not that I will stop doing it, but a finite amount of time to actually make it the success I want it to be so that it is as big as I want it to be.

04:59 that you know I can, you know, put it bluntly, that it can be my livelihood, but not so that that's all about me, but so that we can impact as many dads around the world. I want to run the rebuild program in the UK, in Chicago. I want to have firewalking events and empowerment weekends at something I've called The Lodge. I want to do that in different parts of the world, in the Alps, in the Rockies. And really, these are the visions that I have for Team Super Dad. And it's only possible by bringing as many dads through to it. And I can only do that if I'm helping you. So, your feedback is really important. Your sharing is really important and appreciated. And without further ado, let's get on with today's interview. It's a cracker interview with Paul Elliott. I'll see you on the other side. Cheers.

05:44 Bye. Good morning, good afternoon. This is Johnny. Welcome to the Team Super Dad podcast. It's fabulous to have you here today with us on either this video or listening to the podcast, wherever you might be. Today, we have with us a gentleman called Paul Elliott. Paul, I first met actually, I first saw him on stage at an event, which we'll get to talk about in a minute. And then I attended one of his courses. And our paths have crossed a few times over the years, probably more as Paul has offered me one of his latest courses or events. But more than anything, that has enabled me to, I guess, observe a lot of what Paul's done and the success he's been able to generate.

06:28 And also, I'm very aware of his family, of his health, a lot of what has inspired him in his career. So it's great to have you on today, Paul. Hello, welcome. Thanks very much, mate. It's pleased to be here. And obviously, hopefully, we'll get into something that people find useful or at least worth listening to. Yes, well, that's always the goal. Let's hope we achieve that at least. Oh, blind me. Should we say 90% of the time? Yeah. You know, and as always, I say I say to all my guests, you know, we're here to enjoy ourselves, you know. And if you're listening in for the first time, this is these are conversations.

07:07 We do hope to have some fun and entertain. And if we find it getting too boring, Paul, then feel free to either ask me a random question or I might do the same. If I not spot you nodding off, then I know I'm not doing a very good job myself. So, Paul, why don't you introduce yourself a little bit about just suddenly just kind of sum up what you're up to now and introduce us, you know, let's know what life stage you're at and you know, situations with your family. Just give us a quick intro to yourself. Yeah, yeah. So, I would, I guess, I would describe myself in business, business-wise, as a coach and a mentor in certain ways. A mentor in the sense of sharing knowledge and my experiences and actual strategy tactics and so on.

07:50 And a coach in the sense of, I guess, helping people get beyond their own mindset to actually implement what I share with them. Because obviously, you can give people information, but information alone doesn't necessarily lead to somebody having six pack abs or a couple of million in the bank, you know, so they've still got to get on and do it. So, I guess I help on both sides. Outside of that, then I have a strong interest in my own health. I have a desire to be in better shape at 80 than I was at 20. And we can talk about how that, how I came to that, and why and who influenced it and inspired me. But that's kind of been with me for a long time, and that's that's certainly shaped a lot of what I do in terms of why I train, how often I train, what I eat, when I eat, all that kind of stuff.

08:33 And my interest in just understanding the human body and what makes it tick. And then, I guess, outside of that, family relationships. I'm we're coming up to this September, September the 11th, as it happens, which I know is obviously a day for other reasons, but I did get married on September the 11th, and so we're coming up to 20 years this year. So, we've been together for 20 years, myself and Anne-Marie, my wife. And so, over that time, it's been at times great, at times horrible. I mean, there's been a couple of times where we've kind of both questioned, did we even want to be in the relationship? And, you know, what's kind of come out of that. So, hopefully, if there's anything of value in there, maybe we can talk about that as well. Of course. And what has come out of that? Any kids? Oh, yeah, three kids without a doubt.

09:19 Yeah, I've got my kids. Woo-hoo. Yeah, no, three kids. Eldest is 16, my daughter, first child, and then two boys, 12 and 10. So, yeah, very different. One of them is like me, mini, me, and the other one is completely different. Both in terms of physically, he's like built like a rugby player. And in terms of personality, he's much more chat, chat, chat, more like his mum, really. Never stops talking, you know, so chat, chat, chat, just could go on forever. Yeah, so it's interesting seeing how three children in the same environment can have three very different personalities. Yeah, totally. When I was a stepdad, I mean, I still have a stepdad, you know,

09:59 and the dynamics of that relationship where someone where you are committed to that person, but they're not actually, you know, you're going to sense, oh, they're not, they're not like me. Does that matter? Or how do we, how do we approach it? How do we do things that he wants to do that might not necessarily be what I would be inclined to be interested in, let alone when it's one of your own, you know, blood and you're kind of thinking, how is this person? How did I make this person? Yeah, yeah. I was raised by a stepdad. Right. So I never knew my real dad. So from my point of view, never met him. Oh, wow. I will definitely dig into that. That's that's a dynamic that I know a lot of dads

10:38 would be interested in. I had a step, my mum died when I was a kid. I had a step parent, step parent then moved out. I've been a step parent. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's one of those subjects that from experience that just never gets spoken about. Yeah, I know. And I know no one ever says kind of message. I've been a step parent. It's just like a never, it's like an, but it's really challenging, but it's never spoken about. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I was, I mean, from what I know about my real dad, obviously I came from my mum. She just told me. So from what I understand from her side of things, he was just, you know, a violent alcoholic. That's why she left. Right. She was concerned for my safety more than her own. Like, she put up with it.

11:18 But when I came along, she was like, okay, I can't put up with it anymore. And she left. So I never met him. He then actually passed. He died because of his alcoholism. I think before I was seven. So in my early years, anyway. So I never actually met him. And the only vague recollection of ever seeing him was apparently, I remember as a toddler being on a bus in Manchester with my mum, and she started talking to this guy who was sat, as it happens, a couple of seats in front. And she's told me since that was my dad. Now, I can't see, I don't, in my memory, I can't see his face, but I remember being on that bus, if that makes sense. So that's kind of the only recollection of it. Do you ever have a sense of wondering, am I like him, or

11:59 would I be different if I'd met him? Or did you feel like there's a piece missing from you at all? I got to, because of all the personal development I kind of went through, having got into that sort of industry and then obviously working on me and using that as a way to deal with the challenges I was coming up with. I did get to a place where I had this sort of, well, why did he leave? Like I got like if he was drunk and violent, why did he feel the need to be drunk? Why was he not stepping up as a dad? And then I went through the whole thing, well, why didn't he want me? You know, why did I have to get a new dad? Sort of thing. That was that. That was, I played, that went around my head quite a bit for a little while and had to deal with that. As a kid or a teenager or adult? As an adult, that was. Yeah. So it was kind of a, I guess, a throwback in some way.

12:43 But yeah, it was kind of a funny one. Because obviously, I've never had a chance, as I say, he dies. I never had a chance to seek him out and sit down and talk to him. I mean, it's not initially small, but it has been like 10, 15, 20 years ago, maybe now. And have you ever connected with any members of his family? No, not at all. I don't know if any of them are. Well, I don't know if he had any siblings, brothers, sisters. So never reached out there. I mean, I remember as a kid, we used to go around and see my nana on that side. Yeah. Again, they're vague memories, and she will have passed away by now. So what's your relationship like with this with your stepdad? When did you come into your life? And what's came into my life when I was still a toddler. So my mum started dating him.

13:24 Like my mum, my earliest recollections are living with my grandparents. So my mum had obviously left my dad and gone back to live with her parents, my grandparents. So my earliest recollection is living with my Nana and granddad and my mum. Yeah. So then she started dating my stepdad at some point. And we used to go out on a Saturday. So he used to come around and the three of us would go out. So do a day trip somewhere. Yeah. So we go out then. So yeah, that's probably from probably from about three years of age that he came into my life. Did you call him dad? Yeah, yeah. Well, actually, it was interestingly, they married. I remember the wedding day. Yeah. They married when I was five. And literally from that day onwards, I called him dad.

14:03 Your choice? Yeah, my choice. I just completely, a lot of stepdads, I mean, it's difficult if the biological dad is still present. Yeah. But we interviewed, oh my gosh, Alex, Alex Mail. And it was fabulous talking to him and about him. And if you listen to one of the old podcasts, you'll hear the interview. He was talking about his relationship with his ex-wife, who's since married, and he's now got a long-term relationship. They're due to get married. And he's actually quite comfortable with his kids calling the other dad dad as well. He's called Daddy Mark. And he's called Daddy, I think it's Daddy Mark, and Daddy and Daddy, and then Daddy Mark.

14:43 And Alex, in a very, you know, amazing actually, that he's got his mindset. mindset and attitude towards this. He's like, they're kids. It's normal. They feel it's normal for them to call him that. He's got a good relationship with his ex, you know, so he's comfortable that she's not forced him to say that to him. But this other guy's got kids as well. So they've got step brothers and sisters who call the guy daddy. Yeah, yeah. They've taken upon themselves to call him Daddy Mark. Yeah. Like, who are we as parents to go around telling our kids that they can or can't do something? You know, it's very curious the holes we get ourselves into as adults looking on the lives of our children.

15:27 For sure, yeah, because I know I've seen in several, like, you know, for example, you know, did Date with Destiny with Tony Robbins back in 2000, I think. So, what, 19 years now? I remember somebody there talking about that in terms of relationships. They were going through challenges at the time. Looked like they were potentially going to split. And his concern was someone else is going to raise my kids. Yeah. And I get it. I understood it. I empathized with him there in the moment. But the other side of it is that's not about the kids, is it? That's about you. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Because from the children's point of view, they'll, like you say, they'll just potentially hopefully accept whoever that parent is, step parent, and you know, take it on themselves if they're happy and comfortable to say, call them daddy, daddy, Mark, whatever it might be.

16:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, one of the things I've realized from my mum dying was there's some female figures in my life, you know, family, but they're kind of extended family who, through my mum dying, have now that they've taken on a more maternal role or they took on a more maternal role in my life. And actually, looking on the positives, I'm like, wow, I wouldn't have had that input from them women, from my aunt, from my, I call them my American mum, like Auntie Mary, you know, like my auntie Barbara in America, like they, the role that they took on as a result of my mum dying, you have, I'm not sure, I was there when I was a kid, but looking at as a sort of late teens and 20s, I'm like, wow, these women stepped up. They've been a massive contribution to me.

16:50 And I perhaps wouldn't have had that if my mum had been around. No, no, for sure. Yeah, because they probably wouldn't potentially have felt the need to step up, but it's great that they did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, well, that's awesome. And kudos on him. Have you got any brothers or sisters? I've got a sister, yeah. So she's like, I guess a half-sister, but I've never thought of it. She's a sister. Yeah. So, yeah, I've got one sister. They've actually, in the last couple of years, moved to where I am in the country. So they're literally five minutes away now. Oh, great. Yeah. Yes. I see her a bit more than I used to. And obviously, when we were kids, there was quite a six, seven years age gap between us. So it's kids, obviously, there were times where we were just bickering at each other constantly. But obviously, as adults, we don't bicker at each other anymore, thankfully. So we actually have a good relationship now.

17:37 So let's go back to how I first met you. You were on stage at, it was like a millionaire maker or something in between Covent Garden and Holborn, that sort of area of. And you were at the end of the event, you were doing the board break with Andy Harrington on stage. And the course that I ran to the back of the room for was your, it was like an sell stuff online or it was like an online internet marketing time. So tell us about that, that, that, Joni. I mean, obviously part of Team Super Dad is looking at

18:16 guys rebuilding and the financial side of this, making money, being successful, enjoying their work. You know, it's definitely a time for many men where they, you know, they're like a ground zero and they need to make some decisions. They perhaps realize they're not making enough money. So there's a lot of panic that goes on: am I making enough money? Can I stay in this job? Or before we even get into, I want to be something bigger, brighter, bolder. That was about nine, that was about 2007. So how old were you then? Early 40s, I guess. Right. And that was about seven years, about four or four or five years after you've been to Date with Destiny.

18:58 Yeah, yeah, quite quite a lot of years. Yeah. I mean, my original starting point was, you know, I came out of university with a degree, which I didn't want to green chemical engineering. I had no interest in being a chemical engineer. I mean, I'd done the degree because I'd been good at maths at school. So that was it. It was like, I didn't want to do maths as a degree. I thought I'll do something that's got some application. So I'll do an engineering degree. So I ended up doing chemical engineering. But I came out of that. I was like, that's not what I want to do. So by that point, I mean, I'm 53, so we're going back a while. So at that point, computers were certainly well established within business. Computer programming was a big thing. So I thought, oh, I'll become a computer programmer.

19:43 So I got a job in London and they tried. trained me to program whatever computers they had at the time. And that kind of started a career there. And the thing for me was in a job, like when you're a student, of course, you know, you get out of bed when you feel like it. Yeah. Going into corporate and suddenly being like, you've got to be at this desk at nine o'clock. You cannot leave until at least five o'clock, if not later, found that a real struggle. Didn't like that at all. Because my other side is martial arts. I wanted to leave at five o'clock to go training. So I struggled with that. Eventually, I had three jobs in quick succession, got fired three times and just went traveling around the world. And then I was in Australia. I was booked to do one of these paddy diving courses.

20:24 So I was out on the coral reef. Like you go out, literally go out on a boat and you're there for about three days, sat out on the which is fantastic. You know, if you get a chance to do it, absolutely fantastic. So I got a certificate. But while I was there, I met a guy who's still going, guy called Ed Straker, and he told me all about NLP, neuro-linguistic programming. So I was fascinated by that because I think I probably said before, I could see a direct correlation between the mind and results in karate. So I thought, well, if this will help with this, that's what my initial interest. If this will help with my karate, then fantastic. So he recommended I read Tony Robbins's book, Unlimited Power. So when I got back to Shaw, I went to a bookstore, bought it, read it, loved it, and thought, actually, this is a lot more interesting than anything I've ever done.

21:06 I want to do this. And that was your first introduction to any kind of personal development. Totally. Yeah, totally. So I read it thinking, I want to read this to be better, to be a better fighter in competition. By the time I finished, it was like, this will make me a better fighter. And wouldn't it be great to do this for a living? Because you get to help people rather than sitting in front of a computer listening to somebody because I've been programming stuff, it was all banking systems. Yeah. So you can imagine how dull that was as a topic. So, you know, and then a computer on top of it. It wasn't exactly the most exciting career. So I was like, this has got to be really good. This is going to be a lot of fun. You know, so then obviously I went down the whole Tony Robbins route, listened to all these tapes. I think this is fantastic. This guy rocks up at an event, gets on stage, shares all these ideas with people, changes lives, goes home.

21:50 What a fantastic way to live your life. I've got to do some of that. So I kind of started that. And then interestingly, the reality of that was then, well, if I'm going to share ideas on stage, I need to know how to speak on stage. I need to know how to get things across. Yeah. So that pushed me down learning the skills of doing that. And then it was like, okay, well, now I need to turn this into a business. So do you self-teach yourself that? Or did you go on a course on a talking, speaking course? Well, because of the NLP, like I read, I read a lot of books on it. But then within the NLP, one of the core concepts, this idea of modeling. It's like find someone who's brilliant at something and just model what they do.

22:26 And so I did, I don't know if you know how NLP is structured, but it's structured as you do a practitioner certification, you do a master practice certification, then if you wish, you become a trainer. So I did the whole lot. So I became a certified trainer in the trainer's training. And how are you paying for this? Sorry? How are you paying for this? Credit cards. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah. That's really interesting. That's really interesting. Someone who's tuning in and listening to this, they're thinking, oh, yeah, I want to do all that. But how the hell am I going to afford to change my life? It was like strapping it up on credit cards. It was like, how many credit cards can I fund it? Because I didn't have any money. So yeah, I mean, I literally remember one day ringing the credit card company of one of the cards I had and saying, I've got this amazing opportunity.

23:10 It was actually to do trainers training. I've got this amazing opportunity to go to the states to learn this stuff. It's going to make a massive difference to my life, but I'm at my limit. Can I have some more money? And she said, no, you can only have a raise every six months. So I was like, oh. And that was it, end of the conversation. The phone guy and I'm thinking, I bet she's not the only person in that call center. I'm ringing back. So I rang back and spoke to somebody else and told her the same thing. I said, look, I really need your help. Like, you are the one person that is between me and me achieving my career goals and living a great life and wanting to do this. Like, you're the person that can help me. And she just said, hold on a minute. And she went off. You know, like when you're on the phone, a second can feel like ages. But she was gone for, I don't know, maybe 30 seconds, but it felt like an hour, you know. And then she came back and said, right, I've spoken to my manager.

23:54 You can have the money. So I needed about another three grand. And she got. Yeah. So. Do you know what I say to my kids? I say, don't moan, make it happen. Don't moan, make it happen. And that's a prime example of make it happen. Yeah, sure. It was just, I was like, I've got to go. So I went and they, within that trainer's trainer, they taught you a lot about presentation skills as well. I then joined Toastmasters so that every week I had at least one minute in front of an audience. I don't go into Toastmasters, but they do these table topics where you get one minute and they just throw a topic at you, any topic. But I went just to practice what I'd learned in trainers training. Yeah, I think they're still around, Toastmasters, definitely.

24:31 Yeah, so it's like I picked, I'd pick one thing and then I'd practice that in my one minute. So what I said that came out of my mouth, I don't know, but I was focused on practicing. practicing one thing. So, I did that and then started running my own NLP seminars because that seemed the obvious thing. Having done a trainer's training in NLP, I was like, Well, I should run some of these. So, that first year, just through because on the back of the Tony Robbins events, the yes group, which I know, yes, yeah. Do you know what? I think it's really important at this point, right? Because there's a lot of coaches around. You've spoken at big events, you've spoken in front of a lot of people. I just want to put that out there for anyone that's listening. Like, we're not talking about you talking to a room of 50 people here. You know, you've spoken. Oh, yeah, no, I've done hundreds of thousands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done the big events. Paul is the man here, guys.

25:15 Yeah, but at that time, that wasn't in my head. I wasn't thinking, oh, I'm going to be doing these multi-thousand people events. I just want to get out in front of people. So, I think through the yes group, I kind of managed to, that was my little marketing pool. So, I managed to collect a lot of prospects, clients to come on the first NLP seminars, NLP events that I ran. So, that was my first year in that. And then at the end of that, I kind of began to realize actually, you know, marketing and selling is what it's really all about. And then, as that, this is before the internet and before Facebook and advertising, before all of that stuff. So, it was kind of like, how do you make this work quickly? Well, it's just telling people, like, people didn't know what NLP was.

25:56 You couldn't, unless they'd been to a Tony Robbins event, they didn't know what NLP was. So, it wasn't like you could just run an advert saying, Learn NLP because people would go, Well, the hell's that? They would never respond to it, you know. So, that's when I started thinking, okay, you've got to apply this to something. Does that make sense? It's like, well, if you're applying mindset, like even today, I mean, I'd say people are way more aware that mindset is a thing and has an impact on the results you get and how happy you are and everything like that. 20 years ago, no, didn't it? Like, if you stop somebody in the street and say you've got limiting beliefs, you know, if you stop someone in London and say they probably punch you in the face, you know, so they'll be like, What the hell are you talking about? So, whereas today, I think there's more awareness of it, but at the time there wasn't. So, it's like, well, how do you make this tangible for people at that time?

26:40 You know, so we started running events on, well, actually, can you make more money? And you begin to realize very quickly there's a couple of things that are evergreen. One is money. People always want more of it. They always want to lose weight. That's a massive market that just continues to grow. And relationships, another big one, and that's grown even more so over the last 10 years. So, I think if you kind of can, I guess, target what you do or fit what you do to help in one of those areas, then you've got the foundation for a business. And that's really what we started doing. So, perfect. Team Super Dad is going to help people with their health, wealth, and relationships. That's fabulous. So, amazing. So, then, so then

27:23 through that speaking and through your success, you then get asked to start speaking at these at these bigger events and then you're putting together courses of a variety of topics, such as the internet marketing idea. Yeah, so I mean, there was as it started to grow. First of all, I had people who came through my events and I got invited to do like corporate stuff. So, did a couple of corporate keynotes and things, which was fine, it was fun. They just pay you a fee. But then, of course, the whole internet world started to grow. So, then you started seeing people putting on bigger events and wanting, I guess, I guess the rise or the beginning of multi-speaker events in the UK. They've probably been going on in the States for a lot longer, but certainly the beginnings of in the UK. So, yeah, so I started speaking at those sort of events on two primary topics, really.

28:05 The topics I knew, which were property was the big one, because it was like when you start making money, it's like where do you put it? Of course, that was property. And then, obviously, as I was paying attention to what people were wanting and I'd seen Simon Coulson and other people talking about the internet, I was starting to do things with the internet, I'd have some success with it, and started to realize the potential of it. And then, Darren Winter said to me, Oh, tell people, teach people, you know, so it's like, come to he was putting on events. He said, Come and speak at my events. And I think it was one of his events I was at, yeah. Yeah, so it was like, Well, share what you're doing online, turn it into a course. So, that's how that kind of started, really. And not to put you on the spot here, but you know, if someone's going to those events, like that, that kind of panic that's on their mind, they're you know, especially if you're looking at dads and they're thinking, I've got to reinvent myself here.

28:54 I need to make some more money, or I've got to, I've got to, I've got to do basically there could be an essence of I want to discover my passion, I want to spend more time, I want to have more freedom with my time. But underneath all that is, I've really got to make some money here. So, they go to an event, and then someone talks about property, someone talks about investing, someone talks about internet. Well, as someone who's spoken at those events and had customers come through, what is, you know, is there any kind of, I don't know, advice from the other side of the fence that you could give people in the audience about what they should choose or not choose? Yeah, not well, what I would say is like as a common theme throughout all of these things, like there's lots of things you can talk about within that seminar.

29:34 seminar industry because obviously there's people that have got up and have learned to sell and what they're selling is crap and they're just leading people down a garden path and they're ripping people off. But if you take the good courses and the good material that's out there, let's just focus on that. What I would say, looking from this side at the people who've come through courses over the last 20 years, is before you go to these things, clarity and discipline are your friends. So what I mean by that is be clear what you want in your life. Not what you want from coming to a multi-speaker event, what you want in your life. Be very clear financially what you want. So, and it took me a long time to get there. Like I made money, lost money, made money, lost money.

30:14 And with hindsight, it was a lack of clarity of what I really truly wanted. You know, I was driven in the beginning by I just want to share ideas and help people. Whoa, off we go. But I didn't have any real clarity around it. So I would suggest it's like, get clear. How much money do you want? Now, don't start throwing out numbers. I want to be a multi-millionaire. It's meaningless. Like, one, you don't need that much every year to have a phenomenal life. So it's like, literally, decide what that figure is each month. How much do you need? And then, like, if you say, well, I need 10 grand a month to have a great life.

30:50 Great. So 10 grand a month in your bank, disposable. So you need to probably triple that in terms of paying taxes and putting some money away in some sort of investment thing that's going to grow over time. So then you're all you need 30 grand a month. Great. So now you need 30 grand a month. Now you need a viable vehicle that can get you 30 grand a month. So that narrows it down straight away. But then, so you've got two options. You can either go, I'll build my own sort of business, entrepreneurial type thing. And I do not believe that's for everybody. I think 20, 15, 15, 10, even 10 years ago, if you just said to me, is that for everybody? I'd say, yeah, everybody should do that. I don't believe that anymore. One, because you don't need to. And two, there's a lot of other stuff that comes with running your own business that you may not want to deal with, but you'll have to deal with it.

31:36 And it can cause more mental challenges than pretty much anything else. So you decide how much you want, and then you've got to recognize you're going to have to be disciplined about it. You know, I've noticed as I'm watching this, I don't know if everybody sees a video, but in the back, you've got Brenda Bouchard's book, haven't you? Yeah. And he talks about it in there. Highly recommend that book. But the discipline of recognizing he wanted to be a best-selling author, like a writer. The reality of being a best-selling writer is you've got to write every bloody day. You know, and it's like you've got to be disciplined and say, okay, I'm going to sit down at this time and I ain't moving till I've written 500 words, 1,000 words, 3,000 words, whatever the number is.

32:15 That's discipline. You know, if you're going to run an online business in today's environment where you're leveraging social media, then you need either advertising, so you've got to write the ads, you've got to run the ads, you've got to pay close attention to the numbers so that you can see what determines a good test. Like something needs a thousand impressions before you make any decisions. Then have you got the clicks you want? Does like when they click, what happens next? Does the whole system work? If you're going to do it without ads, then yes, you can pretty much find any niche of people online these days through Facebook groups and so on. What are you going to post in there? But you've got to be disciplined and say, well, I'm going to post every day. I'm going to post at least once every day.

32:56 And then you've got to be clear what the purpose of the post is just to get attention. And then what's the next step for people? So there's discipline to all of this. So in the sense of like, I have a, I mean, I've tried pretty much over the years just about every kind of time management system you can buy. I've spent tens of thousands of dollars on these things. But these days, I just use a blank A5 notebook and I fill out my day. So it gives me the flexibility. But I map out my year, I map out my quarter, I map out the month, I map out the week, and then literally every day. Each day at the page, I look at what I've got planned for the week. I put the date for today. Here's what I've got to do today. I write from six o'clock in the morning till 10 o'clock at night and I fill it in. Here's what I'm doing.

33:41 Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, you're not the first person to say that, but what I can say is it's a practice of successful people. And when you ask, let's say, not successful people if they're doing that, they generally say no, they're not. So I think that's. I think this is input. This covers everything in the sense of health, relationships, money. Success is a process. Yeah. It's always a process. So if it's a process, that means there has to be routines. Therefore, those routines have got to happen every single day. So there's daily routines. I get up in the morning. First thing I do is obviously I go for a P, but the first thing I do is meditate. You know, then it's like, and then we're up. My wife's usually up within 15 to half an hour before me. She just likes to get out of bed early.

34:25 I like to lie and do my meditation in bed. Then we get up. We've realized that from a relationship point of view, the first thing we have to do is connect. So we've got to give each other a big hug, a big kiss, remind each other why we're together. Awesome. That's a routine for the relationship. And without that, you damn well know that if you don't do that for a couple of weeks, there's going to be a big argument at the end of it. Also, you're going to explode. You're going to feel like you're neglecting each other. Someone's going to be unhappy. And the same way with health. If I train four times a week, not, oh, I'll train if I feel like it. I train four times a week. I map it in my weekly calendar. I know when I'm training. I don't go into the gym going, oh, what shall I do today? I already know what I'm doing before I get there. There has to be routines. And money is the same. You've got to have routines for money.

35:08 Otherwise, you won't have any, or you'll have it and lose it like I did a couple of times. So it's a process. Everything's a process. You don't go to the gym once and go, that's it. I'm done for the rest of my life. Or go a couple of times and go, look, I'm in great shape. I've got six pack outs. I can stop now. That doesn't work. It's like every day, like every week, there's routines. That's my point. It is a process. And listen, I want to dig into that in a little bit more, particularly around the health and relationship stuff. But just back on the wealth and the coming on courses, people, speaking from experience,

35:45 go on the course and don't do the work. Yes. As someone who's led those courses, and I think this is really good advice for people who probably at this time are looking at different ways they can make more money or make a transition or a pivot in their life. Why do people come on courses and not do the work? And what could you say that would actually help people take the knowledge out of a course and put it into practice? I think they come on them because they have a strong desire to achieve something, even though they're not clear what that is. It's usually fuzzy. But certainly the concept of more money or more money without having to work as hard for it is very attractive.

36:24 So they'll come on a course with that idea in mind. I want to get to that place. What they don't necessarily get in the beginning. And I'm, you know, as things have progressed more and more, like I have webinars running at the moment. And in my webinars, I'm very clear. It's like I'll say, if you're the kind of person who loves coming on these things but doesn't want to do anything with it, who doesn't want to put in the work, who's not willing to work hard in the beginning, don't bother. Stop listening straight away. But I'll also tell you that people will listen to that in the presentation and go, absolutely, he's absolutely right. I've got to do the work. And then sign up and then forget that. Yeah. That makes sense.

37:01 And I think there's an element of you don't know what you don't know. And actually, funnily enough, there was something on the other nine, not directly related to this, but it relates in a sense of it was all about women talking about their first child, the foot going through pregnancy for the first time. Nobody tells you what childbirth is like. But the other side of that is nobody can tell you what childbirth is like until you go through it yourself. And my wife has said this several times. She was laughing at this documentary because it's exactly what she's talked about, you know, 15 years ago after we had she had Maria. And it's that same idea. It's like I can tell you how much hard work's involved in the beginning. But until you do it, you have no, you have nothing to compare it to.

37:43 There's nothing. There's nothing there. It's like trying to describe an orange to somebody that's never seen fruit. It's like until you get into it, but you've got to recognize as much as possible going into it. If you want to drink from your reservoir, you've got to dig that reservoir first. And that's hard work. That's discipline. That's routines. That's having a viable path. I mean, for me, I'm realizing now at 45 and now rebuilding after what was a challenge in marriage and the mental health sort of stuff that went with that. But also going into that, taking my baggage, experiences of things not quite working out, jobs that I didn't quite enjoy, football teams I didn't get picked for, you know, going right back to childhood.

38:24 Sure. Going on the course, getting loads of great knowledge and training. And the thing that kicks you in the ass the worst, in the butt the most, is the self-confidence, you know, and having the positive self-esteem to actually take that knowledge and go back home and put it into place. And I think that I think that quite a lot of courses, you know, it's not their place necessarily to be teaching that. You know, they've got two days to give you the course, not an extra day to work on your self-esteem, but going into the course, if your self-esteem and confidence is not up, then how on earth are you going to put the course into and the knowledge into practice on the other side?

39:03 Yeah, that's where it becomes, I've realized more and more that it's like you've got to get around people that are doing it or are wanting to do it, which is where I guess masterminds and mentoring and things like that become far more important. Because I've got friends who are billionaires and they still have doubts. So don't ever think that they ever disappear. You'll still have doubts about certain things. not so much, can you? I guess, yes, you want to be looking at your developing your own confidence. I think that's part of it. But recognizing that that's a process as well, it's never going to be complete. But at the same time, if you get around people who are all focused on achieving something, there's something great when you're in a group, which you don't get when you're on your own.

39:44 When you're on your own, and I've been on my own at times, and it is isolating, and you have nothing to compare it with, and you have no one to talk to. And that's very bad for your confidence, or certainly was for me and my self-confidence. So if you're around people who are all focused on a similar goal and you've got someone who's facilitating or guiding it, then the very fact that you can talk to each other and encourage each other, one plus one isn't two anymore. One plus one is whatever you want it to be. And that I found has been one of the greatest benefits of making sure I hang out with the right people. And you know, at this point, I'm more than happy to pay to hang out with the right people because I know the benefit for me, not just financially, but emotionally, socially, and everything else, is obviously well worth the investment.

40:27 So get around people because you will always have doubts. There is nobody on the planet that I've met so far, and I've met everybody from people starting out to people, as I say, doing multi-multi-millions and have been making millions for decades. Doubts don't disappear. Because I, you know, I have one particular billionaire friend, he's like a brother to me. He rings for my advice. Yeah. You know, and it's like, what do you want my advice for you? But he does. So it never goes away. You always want other perspectives, other opinions, or you've got little doubts, little niggles. Yeah. Get around people. Yeah, that's something I've become aware of working on, you know, breaking out of one level and into another level myself is, and people can people listening can check in with themselves.

41:12 There's a level to which you've settled at. Yes. Both socially, financially, health-wise. And if you're not sure of that, have a look and see how long you've been successfully operating at that level. And it's like, oh, okay, I'm really good at being just above skin, or I'm really good at being kind of happy, you know, like, but so then you get left with, oh, yeah, but it's all right for them, but that's not me. Actually, it's just a glass ceiling that we put on our put on ourselves by our habits, the people we hang around with, and the input that we're getting. And I really heard what you just said there about because people might ask the question, yeah, but how do I get around those people?

41:52 And you've mentioned in this call, in this interview, the yes group. That's a group of NLP speakers, confident coach people who are up to stuff. You've mentioned you actually took courses. You've mentioned that just briefed just a moment ago, you said, and I'll happily actually pay for that right now. So, you know, I don't need to ask you that question. That's what people need to do if they're wondering how to get around those people is talk about them. Start your own. I mean, literally, I've met people more so in the States. I think there's maybe a slight difference in the culture of the States. And I'm being generous, obviously, such a big place. There's all sorts of cultures. But I think there's more of a if you haven't got something and it isn't there, well, start your own.

42:33 So if you haven't got a mastermind group, like if you read Think and Grow Rich, obviously one of the old books in terms of success and personal development, and has been a cornerstone for many, many people I've met. But one of the big chapters is all about masterminds. Everybody at that time who was extraordinarily successful in business had a mastermind and various people on it. So if you don't have one and you don't necessarily have the funds to invest in one, then start one. Yeah. Just initially start by doing a meetup. I mean, I know there's meetups all over the place these days, isn't it? It's like get some people together and agree to meet up on a regular basis, whether weekly, monthly, and hold each other accountable in some way, support each other in some way.

43:14 Be there to talk to each other when one of you is having a down day, they can ring one of the others and talk to them for half an hour. You know, it's like that would make a big difference. Yeah, like we said, make it happen. Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, on the subject of making it happen, and in the interest of time as well, you've referred to your health and your martial arts a couple of times. And for me, I'm the fittest I've ever been at this moment. And I do wonder if I could run this fast now, what the hell could I have done when I was 19? Health's always been important to you, or fitness has always been important to you. Yeah, it has since I was 19. So when I was at university, obviously, university, first time away from home, you know, so you go a little bit crazy.

43:57 But I remember in, yeah, probably, I think it was my second year. It was, it was my second year at university. So I've done the first year, done all the stupidity stuff. We're still doing some stupid stuff. But I woke up one morning and my whole back had seized up. So like it took me like 15 minutes to get out of bed. Like I just couldn't bend, you know, so it was like trying to slide and get my feet on the floor and get myself to an upright position. Right. It really scared me. So I was like, and paint the picture here. Are you because you said you're on a computer science science? I was on a chemical engineering degree. Are you quite a geeky engineering kind of person or not? Not really. No, it was kind of this is the other side of it. So I had no real clarity out of school other than, well, I'm good at maths. What should I do? I don't want to do maths. That doesn't sound like you can do anything with it. I'll do something more applied.

44:42 So it's like, are you in the bar like getting hammered? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And obviously, eating whatever's like, you know, students at that time and chips was probably your source of most of your nutrition. So, you know, I woke up, it's like my whole back had seized up. I was in a lot of pain. And I was like, this, this can't be right. I'm 19 for frigg's sake. You know, it's like something's got to change. And that started me down a path of, okay, health's important. So I started reading books, read lots of different things, which had different opinions. But more than anything, I just kind of, I think if you read every book there is, if that was possible on health, you'd just be confused. So ultimately, you just kind of go, well, I'm going to pick something and see what works for me. And that's what started it.

45:23 So it was like, let's start doing some regular exercise. Just being in the gym and lifting weights didn't particularly interest me, but martial arts always had since David Caradine and Kung Fu when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. TV series religiously. So I thought, oh, I'll do martial arts. So I joined the karate club in the university and enjoyed it. So that started the sort of physical aspect of it. And then on the other side, okay, drink less, stop eating chips, stop eating kebabs, look for better quality food. And that started that as well. So since then, I have read, and even today's better, of course, because you've got podcasts. So I listen to, I think I've mentioned before, Peter Attiya runs a great podcast. And his whole focus is quality of life and length of life.

46:04 And he is a doctor. And what's the podcast called again? Do you remember? It's Peter Attiya Drive. Okay. The actual podcast. And he has some brilliant people on there. But some of his early stuff is very much purely about, it gets very technical as well. Very technical because he's obviously still treating patients. And he's a big advocate, not an advocate, but he's certainly a big fan of ketogenics, ketogenic diets. Because he puts a lot of his patients on those things. So he's there for measuring everything. I mean, he himself wears a continuous glucose monitor. So anything he eats, he can see the impact on his glucose straight away and he tracks it fanatically. Then Rhonda Patrick, also very deep into the research. So people like that I listen to regularly.

46:47 And books, I just read so many books and just tried things out for me. You know, so it started out with, well, how much food do you eat? What are you eating? So I started eliminating. I mean, I didn't get rid of alcohol until my mid-20s. So I came through university and I think it would be impossible to give up all drink at university. I probably wouldn't have had a social life. But then as I got out and was working in London, I got to a point where I just got sick of being drunk. You know, in the sense that we'd go out on a weekend and the whole point was to go out and get drunk. So I got to a point where I was sick of that. And then so I started to drink. So you haven't drunk since your mid-20s? I didn't drink for about 15 years.

47:27 I didn't have a drop for about 15 years. And now I will have the, I'll pour myself a glass of red wine and I'll drink about half a glass before I'm bored. But I'll enjoy that half, you know, like I'll enjoy that half a glass. And I'll probably do that every couple of weeks now. So I'm not as militant about it as I was. But then food-wise, I do regular fasting. I'm pretty much an intermittent faster these days, full stop. Yeah, well, Tony Burkhan, the firewalking. Oh, yeah, I know, Tommy. He advocates fasting. And I've heard him speak about it. And you don't even need to get into the science of it. It kind of sounds quite sensible. You're starving your body of food.

48:12 So it goes into its own resources and starts eating away at things. And guess where it goes? It goes and takes the unhealthy stuff that it needs least to draw energy from. So could be cancer, could be whatever, you know, birds or tumors or diseases that are in your body. The intermittent fasting actually prolongs your life because it's eating away at those bad things inside of our body. That's the Johnny version of it. It's amazing. Yeah, I mean, that's a simple book. I mean, there's so much science behind it now that even like even five years ago, you know, you'll see there's something called IGF-1, which is a growth factor one. And five years ago, they understood it existed and they were like, oh my God, this thing causes any cancers to grow more aggressively.

48:51 It must be bad. But then you kind of go, what's it in your body for? And then actually now they've realized that when you fast, your organs shrink and you actually rebuild sorry, you regenerate the cells as opposed to creating brand new cells, which is better for you. And then when you come out of the fast, IGF-1 rebuilds all your organs or it helps rebuild them, which is why you stay healthier. Right. You get brand new stuff. And what's an intermittent fast? A day, a week? An intermittent is what they're. I like Tim Ferriss as someone else I listen to as well. He talks about what's the minimum dosage of something that gives you the benefit. That's his big thing.

49:28 Minimum viable dosage, I think he calls it. So the science at the moment, from what I understand, is that bare minimum 16 hours of not eating in a 24-hour window gives you 80% of the benefit. Does that make sense? So if you only eat within an eight-hour window, you'll get 80% of the benefit of fasting without having to do a multi-day fast. Yeah, and that obviously includes sleep as well. So, you know, and I've started there, and then you learn things about your body because you'll feel hungry. But then, of course, if you don't eat, the hunger disappears. That feeling disappears. So you begin to realize you can manage that much more easily.

50:12 Yeah, I know from when I gave up, I gave up caffeine for quite a while and I gave up sugar. It wasn't my ex-wife was ill. I gave up those things for a while because she had to. And going through those first few days, like you're like, I need coffee, I need coffee. As someone who's curious about the way myself, about the way my brain's working and talking to me, I'm like, what? Who says that? Hello. And then after a couple of days, yeah, you find yourself, oh, I'm not happy. You don't crave it at all. But most people react to the thought and go and satisfy the thought without actually thinking about whether they're going to fast. Well, I mean, and you know, in terms of evolution, I mean, our ancestors wouldn't have had food or access to food on a daily basis.

50:56 So therefore, the body's designed to go through periods of not eating and then obviously then periods of eating. So it kind of makes sense in that respect. I found myself much clearer mentally when no sugar, a little bit of calf. I don't worry too much about caffeine these days, but no sugar, certainly. And then fasting, you get very clear mentally. So you become more productive. I found that. So it's had better. Yeah, I like it. So that's kind of like go to bed, don't eat till tea time. That's that's a kind of a yeah, yeah. I mean, I've done that as well. I did a long time where I did one meal a day. So, you know, it's like you're basically doing a 23-hour fast every day and you're eating within an hour's window. And then you like scoff like an absolute plateful. You can eat. You can eat. You can't eat 2,000 calories in an hour if you want to.

51:38 You probably struggle to do that, or I did, but you know, you can eat as much as you want in an hour. But then you find certainly by about day four, the level of energy and the level of focus, mental focus and clarity is just off the scale. Absolutely. And in relation to your family, this health focus, this fitness focus, has that rubbed off on your kids? Is it a family-wide thing? Yeah, my children, we haven't. I mean, we've obviously set certain boundaries as they've grown up right from the beginning, but some things we weren't too concerned about. Like, but you know, I've got one, one of my boys in particular has been much more interested in eating crisps and sweets and things. But we haven't been like, oh, no, you've got to eat your veggies. You can't leave the table until you eat your greens. We haven't never done any of that sort of thing.

52:22 We've just kind of led by example, I guess. So he's now changed. So as he's got a little older, he's changed. So he now doesn't want those things, not because we're telling him he shouldn't have them. He just doesn't want them. And then my oldest son, he wants, he's now got ambitions to be a professional football player. So he's very focused on what he eats and what he doesn't eat. So it just rubs off because they're in that environment. Yeah, and I think that's important. I know a family, they were massive on their kids about not eating sweets and not eating ice cream and not eating. And then they would go to a party and just gorge on these things. And, you know, I'm not giving too much away here, but one of the children has developed some eating issues.

53:06 And I think that's like for me about computer games at schools and stuff. I pay attention to what the games are actually about before I decide whether I'm going to ban them or not. And then there's two ends of the extreme. When they're totally not allowed to do something and most of the other kids are, then what's the impact of them being excluded from all those conversations? I don't mean playing world of flipping 18 games when they're nine. But it's like you say, at some degree, it becomes appropriate to actually bend a little. And I think in the games, I mean, some of these games are playing with their friends as a team.

53:43 So you kind of go, well, they're learning to work as a team. Of course, Paul. Well, and when we were kids, I mean, do you remember your parents because you're on one phone in the house on one line? That was how we would speak to our friends. Yeah. Hog the house phone for an hour. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Locking it up for everybody else. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, this has been. The final thing with the health aspect. Oh, please, yeah. One of the things that you will notice that I've seen in the research, and you'll see it just from common sense. One of the biggest issues with people in later life is lack of muscle mass. That's what causes an issue. Like, if you fell over today and banged your arm, it's not such an issue. If you're 70 and you haven't exercised for 30 years and you fall over, you crack a hip.

54:23 That's an issue. Yeah. And part of the reason for that is lack of muscle mass. To protect the joints, but to yeah, and obviously to give you mobility, flexibility, agility. So it's like you should be doing something today to keep your muscles strong, which generally means some form of resistance training, whether that's weights. I use weights in the garage and I use resistance bands because I'm doing kicks and things. Okay. I found those very good for all over mobility. But you want to keep that going. And so when I was 22, I got invited to Japan to train over there. So I went over there initially for a couple of weeks. And, you know, I was watching people in their 70s and 80s who'd been training in karate since they were like 16.

55:03 And I was 22, a black belt in karate, fit, strong, and fast, as far as I was concerned. These guys left me in the dust. And that was part of it. I want to be like that when I'm 80. Yeah, wow. It's like, that's the benefit of doing something continuously for all of your life. The quality life. It's not just how long you live, but the quality of it. Yeah. And these are like threads through your life, things that you're going to say, whatever I do, wherever I go, this is part of who I am. It helps me be a better man, a better husband, a better dad. And I want to be around enjoying it in another 40 years' time. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. 40, 50, 60, 70. Yeah, whatever it may be. Yeah, exactly. So one thing that's occurred to me: were you someone who'd never really been fit?

55:47 And then you had to get, you know, this first time, this sort of that uni thing. Were you, because this is a problem for some people where they've never really done exercise and now they're looking at how the hell am I going to get fit? Yeah, no, I wasn't fit because I was, this goes back even further to childhood, doesn't it? Because as a child, I was a late developer. So I didn't really hit puberty until quite later in life compared to my friends. So they all suddenly started putting on muscle and that, and I'm still a little kid. So therefore, I was never any good at sports. Because how can you be good at football when you're you haven't hit puberty and everybody else has? It's like just no comparison. So I never thought I was good at anything physical or sporty. So therefore I didn't do any. So therefore I wasn't fit. So it was when I got to university like something's got to change.

56:29 So I had to go through all of that being out of breath chasing for a bus thing all the way through to getting into a place where I could easily live each day and enjoy it and actually be fit and stronger. That makes sense. Yeah, totally, totally. It ultimately becomes a habit and thinking. Yeah, I'm not going to hit the snooze, but I said I'm going to go for a walk alone and run. I said I'm going to do that and that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, yeah. I think interestingly that what you say there, there's something about that, and this is one of the another value I find with writing everything down, is you get to the end of the day and you cross off the things you've done. It's like I realize like you're keeping a promise to yourself. You said you're going to do it and you actually did it. That's good for your mental health. Also, certainly I've noticed, like, you feel good. Like, oh, I said I was going to do it and I actually did it.

57:12 Whereas there have been times in the past where I've said I'm going to do it and I didn't do it. And when you've done that a couple of weeks on the trot and not done it, you start to really, I just found that I would slide. That's what I needed people around me to kind of help me encourage me, get me back out of it. But crossing things off, saying I'm going to do this and you do it, fantastic. Telling someone else you're going to do it when it involves them and helps them, like your children, and you do it, even better. Yeah, I think it's, again, I'm not a psychologist and I don't like test things out on animals, but you see things on, like Pavlov's dog. You set a task, you give a reward, you keep doing it. It builds a mental message about if I do that, I get this.

57:54 And all of a sudden, you're no longer having to think, oh my gosh, I've got to go to the gym. You start to think, I go to the gym because it makes me feel good. I like feeling good. And therefore, you forget the whole gym bit. It says, I like feeling good. And these are the five things I do to achieve that. Yeah, yeah, I mean, from my point of view, it's like very much I want to, however long I have here on this earth, when I get to the end of my life, I want to be able to look back on it and go, I loved it. And I, you know, I set out to play full out and I played full out and I dealt with all the challenges and everything else that came along the way. But, and I like the way I guess Brendan Bouchard describes it, you know, live, love, laugh, or whatever it is. Yeah. There is an element of that. It's like, I want to live, I want to, I want to love, you know, I want to demonstrate.

58:33 I'm not very good or haven't been in the past. Like, I'm not naturally a very demonstrative person, love-wise. So I had to learn to do that. Does that make sense? Like, I had to learn to be more demonstrative to everybody, my wife, my children, everybody. You know, it's like hug everybody, kiss everybody, tell everybody. You know, I used to get embarrassed by that sort of stuff. So, because I didn't grow up in that environment, of course. So I had to learn to do that as well. Well, and that, I mean, for me, it's one of my core tenets, really, is that the more I tell my kids I love them every day, they're old enough now where. where they start laughing about it. You're like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, and I'm gonna keep doing it. Um, but it took it took. I had to, I remember the first time I really remember my dad saying, I love you.

59:16 I flipping, I was in my 20s, like, and I made him. I was after I'd done the landmark for him, but I really realized where the barriers and the blocks were in my relationship with my dad. And I went about addressing them. And my, how I was to him, ultimately, then it ended up reflecting, he was able to then reflect that back on me. It was like, you know, I'm sure there's a technical sort of term for all this, but fundamentally, I had to push through and create that relationship and create that space for him in order that he could see the benefit of it and step into that space.

59:56 And actually, we now have a much closer and more and more open slash loving relationship at this age where he's 76 and I'm 45 than we probably ever have had. Although, the Git has just spent three days in Maidstone, which is where I live. Can I find out on the phone? I said, Well, you haven't rung me. You haven't popped around. We haven't been out for coffee. It's like it just goes straight over his head because that's just not who he is. He's like, Oh, well, I spoke to you on the phone last week. What are you talking about? But listen, as we head towards the sort of you know, the time that we know that people can put up with fun.

1:00:33 You know, you just alluded to having fun there. You know, first of all, in regards to parenting, you know, what do you do for fun with you? I've really taken from this, you know, how, even though we haven't spoken about it much, how close you are with your kids. You know, what are some of the things that you do with them? How do you foster that sense of relationship with them? And, you know, just, you know, I'd love to hear that as I think it's always insightful for dads who are wondering how to create that strong relationship with their kids to hear it from other people. I think, yeah, I would say what has become a habit as I talk about it is the hugs and telling them I love them.

1:01:13 So that started as a deliberate thing and now it's just an unconscious. I just do that. So they always know each day they get there. Then from a what do we do? It's like, well, we attempt to organize at least once every second week, ideally every week, something we all do together. So we all go out as a family and we do something. That could be as simple as taking the dog to the beach and then running the dog up and down. And remind us, how old are your kids again right now? 16, 12, and 10. Right, got it. So we'll all go down there. You know, the boys will want to take a football, so we'll keep the ball up the beach as we walk the dog, you know, and obviously we then get to talk to each other. Conversations with my daughter, because she's 16, are different conversations than I have with the boys because they're 12 and 10.

1:01:54 But we make time to talk, you know, and then we'll finish up in a cafe down on the beach. You know, they'll have an ice cream, I'll have a coffee, and Marie have a coffee. You know, so it's just making sure that we spend time like that together. Because the other side of it, of course, is they don't necessarily want to do that every day either. They want to go off and see their friends. Of course, as teenagers and preteens. They do, yeah. Like my daughter's just gone and spent, you know, she went into London a couple of days ago to see a friend there, stayed overnight, came back again. You know, so she wants to go and hang out with her friends when they're not all at school. So she's making time for that. And then when she is here, it's like, well, we've got to find time for all of us to play together, interact, and remind each other we're a family.

1:02:35 Otherwise, obviously you could get to that point where you just, you all live in the same house, but you're all living separate lives. You never talk to each other. Of course. And what I know about the importance of that is that you're teaching them how to parent their kids. You're creating the relationship with your grandchildren at this moment in time. Even before your kids have left home, you're creating your relationship with their children. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what fun-wise for yourself? What do you do to have fun? And how do you keep that side of your, you know, that bucket full? I like to think about life as buckets. And the more of the buckets we have that are full, the more joy we're going to get out of our life.

1:03:14 So what do you do around having fun and catching up with your friends? Yeah, I mean, again, that is something that has had to be a deliberate focus because it's very, it's very easy at times for me to get so focused on the work aspect that I can neglect it, like single-minded. And whether that's a male trait, I'm not sure, but I can become very singly-minded on my business and just everything else disappears. So it's like part of my planning for the quarter, the month, the week, is like, what are we doing that's fun this week? You know, so what am I doing if I want to do something on my own? Whatever that might be. I mean, the advantage I have, I guess, is training, karate, that's fun to me.

1:03:52 Yeah. So all that aspect is just fun anyway. But then it's outside of that, what do we do? It's like, well, you obviously got to make sure that me and Anne-Marie spend some time together. together each week. That's fun. It's like, what are you going to do to make it fun? You know, you're going to go and watch a movie. You're going to go and have dinner. You're going to, you know, whatever it might be, but make it fun. So it is literally at each quarter, I'll brainstorm a list of things that we can do that I want to do that I think are fun, that I want to do with the kids that I think is fun, that I want to do with Anne-Marie that I think is fun, and then obviously make sure everybody else thinks the same thing or settle pick something that everybody agrees is going to be fun. So that could be going to the movies as a family. That could be going kicking the ball around with Harrison when nobody else is around. Like Harrison, do you want to go and kick the ball around? He loves kicking the ball around because that's what he wants to do. So he'll love that.

1:04:36 So that's fun for him. You know, not so much for me anymore. But I love being, I love seeing the look on his face. I love seeing his face light up when we're doing something he loves. That makes sense. So there's more of an indirect connection in that respect. Totally. I mean, they say, what's that expression about time? What the kids want? I forget what there's this cliche line, but what kids want more than anything from their parents' time? Yeah, yeah, totally, totally. And I remember this goes back a couple of years, but a good friend of mine who lives in London and he had had, I think, when his father passed away, he realized that they had all these family movies, but his dad was never in them because he was the one holding the camera.

1:05:19 Yeah. You know, and it's like you suddenly realize that actually what your kids want is to see you in the movies. You know, so it's like if you're going to film things and make sure you're in it, so make sure you have the experience with them. So, yeah, awesome. Well, Paul, this has been a fabulous chat. Thanks so much for sharing so much of your life and of your family and being so open with us all. What you know, you've alluded to some of the work you're up to. Would you like to talk about that or let people know where they can find you or connect up with you? Yeah, well, they go to strategicrebel.com, they can find out all about the things I'm up to. Most of what I'm focused on in the sort of public world in seminar world is still very much around helping people with the financial aspect of the business, but more

1:06:06 narrowed down to marketing, sales, sales, especially because people have lots of issues with that. So, yeah, so you know, we run events, we do mentoring, we do coaching. And this is this is you told me this is targeted at business coaches and who's your target audience? Who do you help? Yeah, so we tend to be people who offer a service, but it tends to be other speakers, coaches, trainers, people like that who need and want to influence more people at the same time and obviously bring those people into their own programs and make a difference and make an impact that way. So we help with all of that. And just for context here, what's the coolest speaking gig you've ever done? Coolest? Yeah, like the one you buzzed off the most. You know, actually, it wasn't the biggest one.

1:06:51 I did one in 2014, I think it was, going back a few years now. And it was, I'd never been to South Africa until 2014. I went three times in one year and all to speak. Yeah. And I remember the first event was in Johannesburg, first time I'd ever spoken in Africa, 800 people in the room. And they had a local person, local speaker who was doing the hosting and the comparing, if you like. And then I came on and I did the first kind of teaching piece and selling piece. And they were just so hungry to learn. It was an app. The energy in the room was just electric, absolutely electric, because they wanted it. It's like whatever I had to offer, they wanted it and they wanted to run with it.

1:07:32 And I found that from a teaching point of view, there's nothing that gives you a bigger high than people who really want to learn it. So that's one of the best ones I've ever been at. Well, I guess that's everything you said about your work with people is that that's the kind of people you want to work with. And that's where you get the most value. That's where they get the most value back out of you. Yeah, yeah. And then obviously you walk away on a high because you know you've made an impact, you know, you've made a difference. And that's what's cool. So that's Strategic Rebel. Yeah. StrategicRebel.com. Yeah. And people can find you. Awesome. Well, thank you, Paul. Obviously, the health, the stuff. What did you say? You're 53. 53. 53.

1:08:13 Looking good, buddy. Got more hair than me. I'm not sure what impact that has on. I think it's just some sort of thing, but yeah. Well, anyway, thanks so much. Like I said, I appreciate your time. It's been great to. Our paths have crossed a number of times over the years, but the last few weeks, the opportunity to chat more. I really get a sense of who you are to your family and to your children and the impact you're making on the world is fabulous. And I know that that's from the heart. It's not about money, you know, first and foremost. It's really about what you're doing for others. And I want you to know that I feel that and know that. Yeah, fantastic. Thank you. I mean, it's been really good. I really, I've been out of love talking.

1:08:53 So. and it's been itching because it's not necessarily been things that I usually get asked about. I usually get asked about purely business and speaking and influence. This has been much more rounded in a sense of what I do outside of that and other areas of my life. Totally. And listen, for me, the Team Super Dad podcasts, you know, and I haven't turned it off yet because I want people, this is important for people to hear. The Team Super Dad podcasts are, there's so many podcasts out there at the moment. And they're all, you know, a lot of them you can listen to. And it's kind of today we've got this expert on and they're going to tell you how to change, you know, to be them, basically. And it's kind of, it's, it's all a bit too dry. And then you've got other ones where they're interviews, but they just ramble on.

1:09:36 And so for me, what is it about being a dad, you know, and the sort of the name tag of Super Dad, it's not about what we want to be for our kids. It's what we want our kids to think of of us. And you've shared so many things today just about the organization of your life and about some structure and about how you focus your heart on people, commitment to health and not just get up in the morning and do a couple of healthy things, but you understand what's going on with my body and why am I doing these things. And that actually gets you to the point of I feel pretty good each day, mentally wise, physically wise.

1:10:16 And for me, that's about being a super dad. It's having the energy and the love for your children and the time and the confidence around your work and around your relationship with your wife or significant other. And that really creates the space to like, oh my God, yeah. Whether I meant it or not, I'm being a super dad to my kids. Yeah. I mean, ultimately, you can't give what you haven't got. Yeah. So, you know, and that doesn't just mean money. You know, I would say that's probably bottom of the list, but you know, if you've got the energy, you can give the energy. If you've got the energy, you can give the love. You know, it's like you've got to fill yourself up to be able to give it yourself. Yeah. Well, if I get to the end of these conversations and people say they've really enjoyed it and it was that they hadn't, it was good to talk about things they hadn't spoken about before, then I'm definitely achieving what I want to achieve.

1:10:58 Yeah, no, fantastic. It's really good. It's really good. Paul, Elliot, thank you so much again for being on the show. It's great to chat. Thanks a lot. Thank you. Well, I hope you enjoyed that for the 20 or 30 presenters of the podcast crew. If you're still here, brilliant. Literally tweet me, text me, let me know on the Facebook groups that you're listening to the end because it's so important to get that feedback. And also, it's like a special group of people as well. It's a special group of people who tune in and listen to the end. I am the kind of person that listens to podcasts through to the end. I listen to a lot of audio books as well.

1:11:42 And the magic is at the end. I hope so. Because as the conversations, you get to know people more and more, you relax inside the conversation. And then I truly believe some of the magic comes out of the end. Or we get so tired that we start talking nonsense. And that should hopefully be fun as well. If you know anyone, if you've heard of anyone on any other podcasts, if you yourself think you'd be an awesome guest on the Team Super Dad podcast, I'd love to have you on board. If you've listened to any of the hangouts yet, the Team Super Dad Hangouts, and you think you'd be a good dad to have in that group, you know, I want to have a group of dads who are regularly coming on together, talking crap, having a laugh, taking the piss,

1:12:23 but maybe covering some important topics as well. We've got people sending in questions, asking us to discuss what would we do if or how we solve this problem. And so I really would love more dads, more fun, fun guys. I want some Maverick characters, some people with some crazy stories. I would love to have you in the Team Super Dad Hangout crew. And that's it. Pass this on. Give us some likes. Grow the community of Team Super Dads around the world. I can't wait to hear from you. I can't wait to get your feedback. And I hope that you'll be listening to the next Team Super Dad podcast. My name is Johnny Jensen. Team Super Dad out.

1:13:04 This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at Team Super Dad.com. Join the rebuild program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.