Making The Law Of Attraction Work with Kim Campion

00:00 In this episode of the Team Super Dad podcast, you'll meet Kim Campion as we talk managing your mindset, creating a rampage of appreciation and how to make the law of attraction work for you. Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hey, good morning, good afternoon, wherever you are. This is Johnny from Team Superdad. Friends, family, members all around the world. It is epic to have you here on the Team Super Dad Live.

00:41 As you know, these happen pretty much all over the place. And that's because you never know when someone's going to want to come on and be your guest, be interviewed. I hate that word interview, but have a conversation with me on the Team Superdad Live. And so the best thing you can do is subscribe to the podcast. So head on over to wherever it is that you listen to your podcasts and make sure you subscribe to the Team Super Dad podcast. Literally search up Team Super Dad or even Team Superdad with Johnny Jensen and you will find all the library of old podcasts. Now, if you are familiar with any of the work that we do at Team Superdad, we are all about equipping dads to create their best life ever, living the life they desire rather than the life they feel stuck in.

01:25 And we look on work on the F5, which is focus, fitness, focus, fitness, finance, family, and fun. Focus. Part of focus, a key part of focus is actually mindset. And this is something that has been part of my personal development journey for, well, probably as long as my personal development journey has happened. My first ever book was Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, which actually, I don't think she, I'd have to read it again to find out she talks too much about mindset. But it is about attacking those fears and seeing what's on the other side, which if you are a fan of I'm a celebrity, then you would have cracked up last night about the snakes in the box.

02:09 But equally in my firewalking events and activity around the firewalking community, you know, facing your fear, it is really about mindset and what's going on in our head. And in the same way, creating what we want in our life is about our mindset. And if you don't believe that, then consider that your unconscious mindset is actually running the show and you're wondering why you haven't got the results you want. That's because you're not creating the environment or the outlook from within yourself to achieve that success. And that's how I came to be connected to Kim Campion, who is on the other screen and ready to join us. So.

02:58 Kim. Hi. How you doing? Nice to see you, Johnny. Thank you for having me on. Oh, it's my pleasure. I'm going to move you to the other side. There we go. Have you got that camera? Yeah, really great to have you here on the Team Super Dad community. Anyone who's watching going, hang on a minute, that's a woman. Well. Yeah, it's true. I am. Absolutely good. Team Super Dad is very much about relationships and understanding the fairer sex, the opposite sex, better than we ever have done before, which has been a journey for myself. I often say I learned more about women by having a daughter. I should have had a daughter before I had a wife, basically.

03:45 Because I learned a lot about myself through that. But yeah, so it's really, I love having women in and around the Team Superdad community in the podcast because the more that men can understand themselves and our interactions with women, the better chance we have of creating a better version of ourselves, but also stronger, healthier, more fun relationships. So thanks for being with us today, Kim. Well, thank you for inviting me. It's my pleasure to be with you. Yeah. We were in a LinkedIn pod, weren't we? That's how we got connected up. Yeah, we were. Yeah, with the Get Savvy people. Yeah. If anyone's not in a LinkedIn pod, I'm actually about to start one for Team Superdad.

04:30 I've got a podcast one called Podcast Amp because I run the London podcasting community. And we've got one, got one for podcasters. So you share your podcast in there and people go and listen and review and share it. And with the with which one shut down that one of the one of the other LinkedIn groups I'm in shut down this week, which got me thinking, hang on a minute, we should have one of these for Team Superdad. So watch this space if you're part of the Team Super Dad community. Watch out for the... the LinkedIn sharing pod, which if you post on LinkedIn and you want more people to like and share and comment on your on your content, then that's the way to do it, which as you can see works because that's how we come to be talking today, Kim.

05:13 Definitely, yeah, it definitely works. And if Johnny does set up a LinkedIn pod, I definitely recommend that you get on it because my the reach that you get increases exponentially when other people are in the pod comment and like on your post. It tripled my reach, so yeah, definitely a good thing to do. Well, it's like it's a difference between virtually tumbleweed and where there's 10 people there, or speaking at an event where there's 60 to 100 people there. It's a massive difference, yeah, definitely. Everyone can see we have here the empowerment whiz. And if you saw

05:55 the promo for this live, then that little intro there took a piece of copy from your site just about how you work with people and what you do. But for anyone that hasn't seen that, why don't you introduce yourself and tell us? Okay, yeah, okay. So, um, to be perfectly honest with you, I struggled for quite a long time knowing what to call myself and even to explain to people what I do. Um, and I was talking to a friend of mine who is not of my world. My world, um, some people call it woo-woo, and she is not of my world. And um, so she was saying, Well, what do you do? And I explain what I do, and she said, Is there anyone else that does what you do?

06:38 And I said, Well, sort of. And she said, Well, what do they call themselves? So I said, I think they call themselves an empowerment expert. And she said, That makes sense to me. I know what, yes, that means something to me. So I thought, right, okay, I'll be an empowerment expert. And then I did the Get Savvy People program, and they said, It's not champion, it's campion. We love champions. We want winners anyway. Um, that's my natural tendency to lean towards. We must win, brilliant champions. Yeah, um,

07:18 yeah, then I did the get savvy program, and they said, Don't call yourself an expert because you're setting yourself up to be knocked down if you call yourself an expert. So, I just put expert into word thesaurus and came up with whiz. I thought I quite like whiz, it's not taking yourself too seriously. So, I called myself an empowerment whiz. And essentially, what I do is work with people one-to-one as it says on my site to help them remember things that they've forgotten. And essentially, what everyone has forgotten who works with me is how flipping brilliant they are. And that's what I help them to remember: how amazing and brilliant they are.

08:02 And that's why we're here together because that's so aligned with Team Super Dad. You know, it's you know, my core message is about helping dads live the life they desire than the life rather than the life they feel stuck with. And that's not stuck with like a negative, like they hate their wife, they hate their kids, they hate their job. They may like to make some improvements in some of those areas, but just through the day-to-day trudgery, we feel completely stuck. Like, hang on a minute, I wanted to be a flipping race car driver and I wanted to have two holidays, three holidays. I wanted to have a house, I wanted to have a nice car, I wanted to have sex regularly. I wanted like, I wanted me and my wife to laugh and joke together. I wanted my kids to play football. Like, one way or another, things just don't quite end up looking like we planned them to be.

08:44 And then resignation and upset start to start to fester. Yeah, we know it, then our mindset is really up shit creek, basically. How do you define mindset? Like, what is I mean, to be honest, to be honest? I don't, I don't really. Sorry, I missed you then at all. What does mine do you have a definition for mindset? To be honest with you, I think I've just jumped on the mindset bandwagon as a term. Um, it's it's not something I'm overly keen on because it's it's it's just an in-term at the moment.

09:25 My take is you get what you think about whether you want it or not, and so it's about what you're thinking about, what's going on in your head. And it's, I suppose it's a bit like saying empowerment and my friend saying, Oh, yeah, empowerment, that means something to me. I think mindset means something to people, um, but I do think it's a bit of a used term at the moment. I think, you know, one of those sort of trendy terms, but to. to me, the way that I work with people is to help them to change their focus of thought because your focus of thought is everything.

10:06 The way in which you're thinking affects everything in your life. And if you can think different thoughts, you will get different things. So that's essentially how I see it. Yeah, I mean, I often joke about never being ill, right? Touchwood, not had COVID yet, but when I was a kid, my dad was so anti-illness, like it was a problem. If we got ill, oh my gosh, it was a problem. And so to a degree, I'm like terrified of being ill, not because I don't want to be ill, because I don't want my dad to be pissed off at me.

10:44 Those kind of reasons fade away, and you're just left with, I don't get ill. Not I don't get ill because you're just left with, I don't get ill. And quite literally, if I do get a bit ill, then it's gone in a few days, basically. And I do joke about this, but somewhere inside me, it doesn't occur to me, like, I generally don't actually get that ill at all. And I do know that other people, particularly the obvious one, is that kind of glass half full, glass half empty. But why is it that people who have a bit more of a negative outlook on life, why is it that it gets proven to them that they should worry all the time?

11:26 Oh, that's law of attraction. That's how that happens. Yeah, but it's expecting things to go wrong. And guess what? Things things that go wrong. Exactly. Exactly. That's the whole thing. You can believe anything at all and prove it. If you keep thinking about it, you will eventually get it. So, yeah. I mean, it's not a bad thing for you to have picked up from your dad, is it? That I never get ill. That's pretty cool, really. I quite like it. I could do without the fear from my childhood. But, and then when I talk to my kids, I come from a much more empowered perspective on that. Like, we create our healthy chemicals and

12:10 what's going on in our body. We create our healthy bodies, yes, by what we eat, but also by what we think about and how much sleep we get. So, if you do these things and you think this way, you're unlikely to get ill as often as someone else. And to a child, that's really simple. They're like, okay, daddy, that's pretty young. I got that. Yeah, yeah, cool. Setting them up to be very healthy children and adults without the fear. Sorry, say again. Without the fear. Without the fear, yeah, definitely. There's a funny story about me being ill in Switzerland and the chemist giving my dad some suppositories and then him telling me, I was like, what do I do?

12:50 What do I do? He goes, go in there, pointing to these toilets, go in there and shove that up your ass. I was about 12. Lovely. He's okay as a dad, right? He's a maverick, right? Okay. But yeah, suffice to say, I think I only took, I think I took a couple. In fact, I know I did. One in their public toilets and one on the airplane, and the rest of them went down the toilet, that's for sure. But interestingly, children are better at this, are they? It comes more when we're younger. Do we, do we, are we more inventive and creative and free with our thoughts? Is there something does this become a problem with age?

13:32 Yeah, I think because when children are born, they come in knowing all this stuff. And then they go through physical life and it kind of gets knocked out of them. So when they're very little, you know, they believe that the world revolves around them. And they're right. Their world does revolve around them. All of us, our world revolves around us. But as your young children, you know, you often hear your parents saying the world does not revolve around you and you cannot have everything you want. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's actually all completely wrong, but that's what they learned from their parents.

14:16 So they're passing it on to their children. So yeah, children are a lot better at this stuff than we are as adults because they've been around less time and had less of it knocked out of them. Yeah. Yeah. And what can we learn from kids? You know, I'm probably going to jump around in this whole conversation a little bit, but what can we learn from kids when we're thinking of when we're thinking about this subject, like, okay, empowerment or mindset? It's quite difficult, but a kid doesn't think if it's difficult. They just say, oh, I want to be astronaut when I grow up. I want to be in a, I want to be. a, or they go into make-believe wow and they're playing doctors and nurses or they're playing shops and it's really real for them.

14:56 So their imagination is really rich and creative. What can adults learn about our kids' imagination? I think exactly what you've just said. The universe doesn't know when you're thinking about something, the universe doesn't know whether it's something that happened yesterday, it's something that's happening now, it's something that's happening in the future, or it's something that's never happened. The universe doesn't know that. Whatever you're thinking about, the universe is responding to. So when a child is in that situation where, as you've just said, they're completely immersed in their play.

15:38 It's completely real to them. The more we can do that, the more we can get into the feeling place of what it feels like to be a rocket scientist or a racing driver or whatever it is. And literally spend time daydreaming about that, thinking how wonderful it would be, enjoying that. That's really, really good for us. And the other thing is, if I mean, children are just naturally full of joy until it gets knocked out of them. You know, they'll jump in puddles, they'll splash around in puddles, and they just have fun doing stuff. And I think a lot of us have forgotten how to have fun.

16:19 And I know that's one of your five Fs. And in terms of experiencing what you want in your life, it's really important to just play with stuff, have fun with stuff the best way you can. Yeah. Yeah, I did an exercise once, an awesome lady called Laurel Donnellan out of, she's from the States, and it was a career guidance course with her, one-on-one, and very detailed, but far more about tapping into our inner passions and what we desire in life.

16:58 And there's an exercise in there where I had to come up with multiple versions of what my future looked like. And she said, don't worry about whether you're a man or a woman, young or old. Just conjure up this kind of idea of the future that quite appeals to you. Like, oh, I'm a, I live on the beach in California. I'm a marine scientist. My wife is a surf instructor. Like, just play with it. Yeah. And I, the first few were so incredibly painful. Like, I just couldn't, I couldn't come up with something that was made up.

17:34 I was like, oh, no, that's not realistic. No, that can't happen. And then once I'd broken through and done three or four of them, I was like, oh, okay, this is ridiculously easy. This is just fun. And then I created a whole bunch of them. And then when I brought them back to my session with her, we went through it and drew a line between all the things that were consistent. And it turned out that I had mentioned living near water on a lot of them, which I know from living in Chicago, living in Brighton, living in Amsterdam, all important to me. And even in Maidstone, I live near a river. And that as something that's conscious and intentional is so incredibly powerful because now I know it.

18:19 Now I know that really wherever I live, being near water in some way, shape or form is good for me. It helps me. And that came out of that exercise of just playing with ideas for my future, but then going back to it, unattached to what those ideas were and looking for the patterns and the consistencies in amongst it. That sounds like a really great exercise and something your dads could do for themselves. Yeah, yeah. It's inside the Hero Academy and part of some of the stuff we've done for free on Team Super Chat as well. So when the people you work with, right, when they come to you, you talk about relationship or work or your health or the amount of money that you have.

18:59 Why are they so stuck on these subjects? All sorts of reasons, really. One of them, one of the things that I do with people is called emotional freedom technique. And that is based on a couple of premises. And one is that as an adult, you never experience a new emotion. Any emotion that you experience as an adult, you've always experienced before and usually as quite a young child. And so one of the things about it is that if as a young child, traumatic things happen to us

19:43 because we're we're little. little it doesn't have to be major stuff like child abuse or neglect or anything like that but if for example you imagine a little two-year-old skipping down the road and a little Jack Russell jumps out in front of the two-year-old and barks that is or can be quite a terrifying experience for the two-year-old and unfortunately quite often the adult doesn't realize how terrifying that is to the two-year-old so the adult who's there might just say oh it's just a little dog and and move on um whereas the child was quite traumatized by that

20:23 experience and in that moment of trauma it makes up rules about itself and it makes up rules about the way the world work works and that those go straight into the subconscious um and those rules are probably quite useful for the child when they're two three four five but when they get to 30 they're they're no longer useful they're quite limiting and the trouble is once you've put a rule into the subconscious um the subconscious doesn't judge whether it's useful or not useful to you it just keeps

21:02 running so one of the things that we do with emotional freedom technique is uncover those experiences uncover the rules that the subconscious has made and tell the subconscious it doesn't need them anymore they're not helpful anymore and so those are cleared and then the person can get on with their life without those limiting beliefs so practically speaking like someone's come to you they're successful in work but their relationship they're unsatisfied in their relationship and they can see that that's a pattern from their previous relationships and they're committed to this one because it's their wife and they love her what kind of things would they be holding on

21:42 to from their childhood that will be affecting their relationship that's that's really difficult to say i never know to be honest with you um i'll i'll give you an example of somebody that i worked with um and one of the other things that i find when i work with people which is really interesting with with emotional freedom technique is that um originally i trained to be a homeopath yeah and part of the homeopathic process i don't know if any of your dads have been to see a homeopath but the first consultation with a homeopath takes at least an hour and a half and takes you from when you were born to now um and asks you to to talk about every single terrible thing that has

22:27 ever happened to you whether it's an illness or a trauma or a relationship breakup or whatever so that we get a full picture of everything um that's ever happened and um i've had people that have come to me for migraines say and we've gone through this process and at the end of it they've said oh god i didn't realize i had so much wrong with me and i think to myself that's not really a very healing experience is it they feel worse than they arrived um and one of the things that i find with emotional freedom technique is that um always with homeopathy what you're trying to do is get to the root cause and treat that but with emotional freedom technique if somebody needs a homeopathic remedy it just becomes apparent through doing the process of emotional freedom technique and the reason that that came up for me is because homeopathic remedies have what we call

23:23 pictures so there's they're sort of they're a bit like caricature caricatures sort of the typical this kind of remedy is this so um and there's a remedy called pulsatilla and the fundamental prep theme of that remedy is abandonment and the typical picture for pulsatilla is a blue-eyed blonde-haired girl who looks fairly frail and I had this guy who came to see me and he was built he was like rugby player size he was huge and when we did the EFT process what we got back to was his first day of school

24:07 when he was four I think and he was he his mother left him and he just remembered his mother going and so it so his underlying thing was abandonment he just he just got that going that people abandon him and so I was not only able to clear that but also to give him the homeopathic remedy pulsatilla and that whole thing cleared so for him if it was the case that his relationships kept kept breaking down, the cause, the underlying cause was this fear of abandonment within him.

24:49 So, you can imagine if someone has a fundamental fear of abandonment, then they're going to be quite controlling of their partner to make sure that their partner doesn't abandon them. And as you probably aware, that doesn't work terribly well for partners either way. If a woman is expecting a man to is clingy with a man, the man doesn't like it, and vice versa. So, that was just one example. But I never know before I start what is going to be going to be. I just meant like what were some of the common things that come up.

25:27 It's like yesterday I was talking about cooking, right? And I was talking about people, people don't cook because it's money, time, confidence. I haven't got the ingredients in start. You know, there's a set list of things that come up. And then, and then you can start to start to address them. And, of course, people have their own individual ones as well. And so, where does the process of someone rebuild, or first of all, okay, so we've got to connect, we've got to, we've got to reconnect with ourselves in order that we can start to feel more empowered, right?

26:04 So, I can see it that it's two levels. First of all, one is reconnecting, and then the second level is going to be becoming more empowered, like putting routines and day-to-day practices in place so that we have so we start to experience our life filling up in certain ways. So, what about the reconnect part, first of all? So, you've just talked a bit about cause and where these things come from. Then we're kind of into the present, we're not even creating quite yet, we're in the present. How do we reconnect with the idea of, well, what do I want? What should this look like? What would I like this to look like? Or, you know, we've listed here relationships, work, health, these different things, and we're talking about empowering people.

26:49 So, people have got to get clear about what they want to be empowered about, right? Yeah, definitely. And if you, I mean, I think the truth of the matter is that everybody knows at some level, everyone knows. And there are perhaps things that stop us admitting to ourselves that is what we want or whatever it is. But let's just take relationships, for example. The way that you know what you want out of a relationship is by experiencing what you don't want in a relationship.

27:26 So, and I think what can happen in a relationship is people start out, they're really in love, they love everything about each other, and then they come together. And after a time, they start to notice things about the other person that they don't like very much. And what happens is that they then start to focus on those aspects of that person. And something to appreciate is the other person can only show you what you're willing to see. So, if you're focused on somebody else, I don't know,

28:10 picking their teeth or whatever it is, if you notice them picking the teeth and then you think, I really hate it when they pick their teeth, then every single time they pick their teeth, you're going to be there and you're going to notice it. So, the thing to do is to sort of flip it round. My husband did a really good thing, I think, and he taught me this. He had a best friend called Dave, who is married to someone called Jane, and they were having troubles. And he said to Dave, What did you like about Jane when you first met her?

28:50 What made you love Jane? Which took Dave's focus away from the present and what he wasn't liking and made him focus on what he remembered that he did like. If you can do that with someone, I've done it with there was a friend of mine who just got into a new relationship, and she and her partner were staying overnight with us. And she came down in the morning and she said, Oh, I'm getting really fed up with him. He's really negative. And so, I said to her, Well, when you first met him, what did you like about him? And so, she started saying things. I said, What else? What else? What else? What else? And that must have been about eight or nine years ago, and they're still together. So,

29:34 essentially. it's the same thing over again. Focus on what you do want, not on what you don't want. Okay, so getting really clear about what that picture, that perfect, no, no, perfect's perhaps not realistic, but in this game that we're playing, perfect is absolutely okay to like, okay, right, well, what will be perfect? Not settling for second best because we can paint it and go for it and then see what comes of it rather than start with second best and be ultimately resigned before we've even started. Exactly. And perfect is absolutely fine. Go for perfect. Go for your perfect because your perfect will not be the same as someone else's perfect.

30:13 What's perfect for you? What absolutely works for you? I have another friend who, well, she's a friend now, but I used to do a law of attraction workshop group sort of thing. And she used to come to that. And she was single at the time and she wanted a partner. And I said, well, write down everything that you want about this partner, write it down on a piece of paper and put it away somewhere and forget about it and just have fun with it. And she wrote, she said she wrote an A4 sheet of stuff that she wanted in this partner.

30:55 And she called him James, I think. And she just had fun thinking about James and what James was going to be like and when she was going to meet James and wouldn't it be fun when she met him. She just really had fun with it. And then I think it was only, I think it might have been the next meeting. We had monthly meetings. She came and she'd met a guy. And there were only two things on that list that didn't match. And one was he wasn't called James. Would have been a bit too weird. Yeah. Okay. And the other was he wasn't as tall as she'd have liked him to be because she's quite tall herself and he wasn't taller than her.

31:36 But every other thing on that list was met. And that's law of attraction for you. If you focus on what you want, don't give any attention to what you don't want and you'll bring it into your life. Yeah. I mean, this isn't something modern or new anyway. I mean, depending on people don't like this quite so much when you talk about the Bible in this way. But, you know, ask and it shall be given is in the Bible. Prayers in many ways are this as well. You know, people that pray with an absolute belief that something is going to be bestowed upon them or blessed to them, they are in the law of attraction.

32:21 Their paradigm is God's going to bless me with this if I do this, this, and this, right? But it kind of comes with a, who are you being your. An expectation, an expectation of success is the best place you can be. It's interesting that you mentioned the Bible because on my walk this morning, I was thinking about what I was going to post on social media. And I was thinking about quotes and some quotes. And I've done a post that started seek and ye shall find, which obviously is also from the Bible. And my point about that is what you look for, you will find. And it was partly in response to people saying, oh, God, there's so many trolls

33:04 on the internet, and people are being so horrible. And on LinkedIn, even on LinkedIn, people are being horrible. And I thought, I haven't noticed. I haven't noticed at all. I don't think I've ever been trolled. And that's what made me think, seek and ye shall find. And it's how we started out, really, isn't it? Where we were saying that you can believe anything and prove it. Because if you believe there are trolls there and that they're being really horrible to you, you are attracting trolls to you. And so you will prove that that's happening. Yeah, totally. I use this example quite often as well in different podcasts for people who listen regularly.

33:45 When we were at uni, which obviously was a long time ago now, but our student halls were on kind of a rougher state. And every now and again, someone would get mugged and the sign would go up and it'd be like, watch out, watch out. And then you say, you ask around, who was it? And then you find out who it was and you go, I'm not surprised. I don't mean that negatively or harshly against that person, but if you're like, if anyone's going to get mugged, it'll be him or her. Blimey. And in the same way that someone who holds themselves, and it's not about size or weight or, but someone who's walking with a confidence and an assuredness and a direction and a clear direction is not going to be appealing to

34:26 touchwood, right? To a mugger or a. someone or some hoodlum kids that's going to come up and get them. And I used a similar example this morning on my walk and on my little 10-minute live stream about a plant. You can tell me if this is bonkers as well, right? But it just occurred to me that what it takes to look after a plant, there's so many tiny little bits from where you put it to what pot it is to the sun to how much water to if it gets bumped 10 times a day or not. And there's a mindset there about I'm going to look after this plant and it's going to be okay. And then there's my actions consistent with that that support it. So when we're talking about empowerment,

35:07 it's our mindset that we're going to achieve success in that area or we're going to meet that person or we're going to transform our finances. But then our behavior starts to become consistent with that success happening. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it is. What's your when you're coaching people, what do you do you look at any of that sort of thing? I think the way that I look at it is that when we've cleared subconscious beliefs, when people understand the law of attraction, they are inspired to take actions that work for themselves rather than needing to force themselves to do things.

35:55 So it's inspired action rather than making yourself do something. So more natural, more like flow, basically. Yeah. And having said that, there are 93 paths up the mountain. You know, it's not one size fits all. Some people, by making themselves do things, they get themselves into that groove. And as you said, in the Bible, people who read the Bible and operate by that, they find stuff from that.

36:36 There is, I suppose, what I'm saying, there isn't any right or wrong way of doing it. What I do think, though, is that the law of attraction is a law like the law of gravity. It just is. It just operates. And it's how this universe operates. And when you understand that and you understand how it works, then it can make your whole life a lot easier. Right. And what are when you start to introduce this subject of the law of attraction? What are some of the common reservations that people have?

37:22 I'm trying to think now. We're sharing this for people that are listening or watching, right? Because they're talking about the law of attraction and their brain's going to be running a number on this subject. Or some people might already believe it, and that's great. But other people will be like, yeah, well, it doesn't really make sense. I tried that. Or why do people have these doubts about the law of attraction? I think they have doubts about it because they may have watched The Secret or read The Secret. And The Secret is supposed to tell you the secret about the law of attraction. And in my opinion, it doesn't. It doesn't tell you properly what the secret is and how it works.

38:03 So my guess is that, well, I was one of them. Let's just say that outright. I watched the DVD The Secret years and years ago. And I thought, right, this is it. I'm off. I'm going to win millions of pounds and I'm going to do all these things. And, you know, a year later, nothing was happening. And I was thinking, well, that's a load of rubbish, then, isn't it? But something about that had sown a seed in my brain. And I was thinking, I know this is right, but it's not working. Why isn't it working? And I moved house a couple of years ago. And when I cleared out my cupboards, I found that I had actually downloaded two quite thick tomes from the internet, both called The Secret Behind the Secret.

38:52 And neither of them gave you the secret behind the secret. And I was desperate to know what it was. And then eventually I came across it because I was asking so strongly to know what the secret behind the secret was. And I came across Abraham Hicks asking it is given. And then I found the secret behind the secret. I love that. And I think that is what might put people off: is that they've heard people talk about the secret. And the other thing that I think puts people off is that there's this sort of idea that. that you have to think positive all the time. And I think it's not true. It's not helpful. It doesn't work.

39:34 It's not possible. In actual fact, you don't want to think positively all the time because if you think positively all the time, you're never going to correct anything. And quite often, thinking positively is just people aren't actually thinking positively. They're pretending to think positively because they think that's what they've got to do to get what they want. And so there's a whole stuff around that that is not helpful, in my opinion. And I think that can put people off. You know, they think it's all happy-clappy, and oh, yes, I've just got to think happy thoughts. And no, that's not the case at all. That's not what the law of attraction is about. Law of attraction is about being aware of what you're thinking and choosing your thoughts and not only being aware of your thoughts, but also being aware of how your thoughts make you feel.

40:25 That's the most important bit. And doing your best to think thoughts that feel better than the thought that you're thinking at the moment. So, for example, if somebody is depressed, it feels better to feel angry than it does to feel depressed. And the trouble in our society is that we don't like people being angry. So someone who's depressed manages to get themselves to the relief of anger. And everyone around them is going, oh, you don't want you to be angry because it's not as convenient for everybody else for this person to be.

41:07 They preferred them when they were depressed because they were quiet and they weren't causing them any trouble. So you get people who sort of depressed. They manage to work their way up to anger, which feels better. But then everyone around them is going, oh, no, we don't want that. So they go back to depressed again and they just do this kind of circle. Now, for me, if someone came to see me and they were depressed, I'd do the best I could to make them angry because I know that anger feels better than feeling depressed. And you don't want to stay in anger forever, obviously, but it's the jumping off point for feeling a bit better than anger. So blaming someone else might feel a bit better than angry.

41:49 You know, it's not my fault. It's their fault. Yeah, there's a what's that bit in the Abraham book? It's a wheel, isn't it? It's the wheel of you go through and these emotions that you're talking about, you're on different levels, aren't you? And you raise them. That's right, that's right. It's called the scale of emotions. The scale of emotions. That's right. And so, well, I'm going to tell you the secret now, Johnny. I'm going to tell everybody the secret. Julian, it's coming at you. It's free. The secret is vibration. And the point is that everything vibrates. We vibrate.

42:25 Everything in the world vibrates. And in my experience, the easiest way for people to get on board with that is to think about hearing because we know that sound is a sound wave, and a sound wave is a vibration. And the sound wave comes into the ear, it hits the eardrum, and it makes the eardrum vibrate. And then there are three little bones attached to that eardrum that are also attached to the inner ear, and those start vibrating. And then they make the water or the liquid in the inner ear vibrate.

43:02 And there are little hairs in the inner ear, and they start vibrating, and they send an electrical impulse up to the brain where we interpret sound. So our hearing is us interpreting a vibration. And everything vibrates. So our vision is us interpreting vibration. Our taste is us interpreting vibration. Our touch is us interpreting vibration. So it's all about vibration. And different emotional, different emotions have different frequencies of vibration.

43:42 So at the bottom, if you're depressed, disempowered, feeling really in despair, that is one vibration. Whereas joy, happiness, love, empowerment is a completely different vibration. And this is why I say thinking positive, that's all nonsense because what they're saying is to somebody who's down here at this vibration, I'm asking you to jump from here to here. It's just not possible. You can't do it. That's like tuning your radio to 89.6. 89.7 and expecting to hear classic FM. You can't do it.

44:24 You know, you have to gradually dial up, which is why I say, so anger is much closer to the frequency of despair. And you can make that leap. You can make that leap because it's not such a huge leap to make. And then when you're at anger, you can then find a thought that feels a bit better than anger and then find a thought that feels a little bit better than that and work your way up to feeling joy and empowerment and all of that. Yeah. And this is, there's a whole chapter in the Abraham Hicks Ask and It Shall Be Given book, which goes through this.

45:03 And I'll find a picture of the scale of emotion and share that. But people might look at that book on Amazon and think, that looks a bit out there, but it is the most practical book in helping you understand how you think shapes your outcomes or how what you can think in your hand, you can hold in your hand. So what you can think in your mind, you can hold in your hand. Definitely. And then inside of that Asking It Shall Be Given book, there's about, I think it's seven or eight sections in the back where it breaks down these different

45:46 thoughts and actions, like tricks, basically, like ways of managing this whole process, which is amazing. And that scale of motion is absolutely one of them. And also, it was one in there as well about affirmations and what do they call it? Shower of positivity or something like that. It's called a rampage of appreciation. Rampage of appreciation. And I really believe this as well. And this is what I was thinking this morning about, oh, just before I move on, I just want to acknowledge that Freetown has posted a couple of comments. So just a while back, Freetown said so much of what's going on is based on people doing things they think they should do or saying things they think they should say.

46:27 Honesty is so important. And that is true. There's a great deal of freedom in being real with people and allowing your own personality to shape the relationships that you have with other people. There's no point coming home at the end of the day and feeling upset that you haven't got the kind of relationships you want with people when you're not honest with them about how you're feeling with them. And he also says shortly after that, seek and you'll find it so true. I have to make a real effort to seek positivity. The negativity is too easy to latch onto. It sells newspapers, gets article clicks and keeps people in control. As a dad, I stay positive and show it to my wife and children. And that I love that, Freetown.

47:09 Thank you. Yeah, it's one of the things that I would recommend for everybody is avoid the news. Yeah. It's in my... Avoid EastEnders. Soap operas. What about people who watch multiple soap operas? Oh, it's not the soap opera. I don't mind the soap operas. But EastEnders is just so depressing. Everybody's so angry with everybody else. Back in the day, Cora used to be funny. I mean, it actually did used to be funny. I imagine if soap operas wrote more humor into the scripts and maybe the rise of sitcoms sort of took that element out of soap operas.

47:51 I don't know. Maybe, maybe. I think it's a real shame. You're right. Coronation Street. I stopped watching Coronation Street quite a few years ago because it went to something like five nights a week. And I just thought, I just haven't got that time. When I was in England, I watched them all, right? So they would just be always beyond. It used to be fun, as you say. You know, quirky and funny. And yes, they had their serious bits, but as you say, they had their fun side to it. But so, yeah, personally, I don't listen to, I listen to the news maybe once a day when it comes on the radio. I buy a newspaper to do the crossword, but I don't read the news. Well, I flick through the headlines. If there's anything that looks vaguely cheerful or interesting, I'll read that.

48:35 And I tend not to watch programs that make me feel sad, depressed, fearful, or anything else. I'm totally tanking. And I encourage this in my coaching with dads around breakup and depression is that just be really aware of what media you're consuming. Definitely, definitely. If you're feeling depressed, if you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling like things aren't going well, then go and find stuff that will boost you. And so I watch a lot of comedy, right? I watch a lot of comments. Me too, me too. And run-coms, actually.

49:15 Probably not appreciated by your audience, but I do like a good rom-com. Um, but yeah, definitely, definitely, uh, comedies and the kind of books that you're reading as well. Because I used to read, I used to love um, detective stories, um, you know, crime thrillers, that kind of thing. But what I found with them was that the authors seem to think that in order to not do the same thing that they did in their last book, they made the murders more and more gruesome and horrible. And I couldn't read them anymore because I just thought this is making me feel really horrible reading this book.

49:56 So, yeah, avoid stuff that makes you feel worse because it's just layering. People need to get this if we haven't made the point clear enough. We're just layering stuff over and over and over. And without egging this up too much, when Donald Trump recently in elections will say to his fans and followers, this election has been stolen, this election has been rigged. It wasn't just that one statement that had people believe that. It was how it was reinforced months, so even years in advance of that. And so, when we're going through our day-to-day life, if we're constantly layering on negative things, bad news in the newspapers or bad news on the news, stuff happening, relationships breaking down, people going bankrupt, people getting their kids kidnapped on EastEnders or soap operas, then suddenly our expectation

50:51 is that the world, there is that stuff in the world, and then guess what? We start to actually find it. Yeah, and when you actually think about it, I'll just say something about the news because I think maybe men, perhaps even more than women, like to feel like they're well informed and they know what's going on. And I find that listening to the news once a day on the radio and flicking the headlines in a newspaper, but not actually reading the articles, I do know what's going on, and better than some people who listen to all of the news.

51:28 So, you don't need to worry that if you don't do it, you're going to not know what's going on, or you're going to feel ignorant if you're in a conversation or whatever. But, yeah, I think definitely the more basically it's a simple tenet of the law of attraction: what you focus on, you get more of simple as. And that we led into that point around the rampage of appreciation. And, you know, what let's rather than me talk, because obviously that's the whole point of having you on the show, right? The rampage of appreciation is something quite often someone could do in the in part of their morning routine, right?

52:10 It's a, it's a, it's a wave of positive feelings and thoughts that they're having for themselves. But if what would you say to someone about their morning routine, whether it's the rampage of positivity or, you know, what kind of tips can you give someone about their morning routine to really turbocharge their empowerment and their mindset? Okay, well, what I would say is that everybody, I'm sure, has had the experience, I know I certainly have, of just sort of tumbling out of bed, stubbing your toe, getting in the shower, and the water's cold, going downstairs, feeling grumpy, getting in the car, you hit traffic,

52:55 you get to work, and you, and everybody is just stupid, you just hate them all. That is like a rampage of not appreciation, if you like, that happens, and you can do it the other way around. However, when you wake up first thing in the morning, you are in complete alignment with who you are. First thing in the morning, when you wake up, you've had a night's sleep and you're in a really good space. Now, I know there are people that argue with me about that, and they go, No, no, I wake up in the morning, I feel terrible.

53:38 You have 17 seconds when you wake up in the morning, that's all. And if you can catch that yourself within those first 17 seconds and just find something to appreciate, it might be that your pillow's comfortable, it might be that your bed is the perfect temperature, it might be that you're appreciating the smoothness of your sheets or the comfort of your duvet or whatever. Just find something and think, oh. oh, this pillow feels comfortable, all these sheets feel comfortable, or this bed feels comfortable. And then maybe, oh, I love my curtains, or the skies, it might be rainy outside, but I'm nice and cozy inside.

54:22 Just find something to appreciate. And if you just focus on that for 17 seconds, the law of attraction will send you another similar thought. So you will then focus on that. So all you have to do is think of things that feel good to you for 68 seconds and you've set yourself off on an emotional set point which will do the opposite of what I was just talking about. So then you get out of bed and you maybe feel the carpet under your feet and you think, oh, this carpet feels nice and soft.

55:00 And then you go and have your shower and you think to yourself, isn't it fabulous that I have hot water coming and I can shower. This is just great. I love my shower. And then you go downstairs and you have a really nice breakfast. And when you get into your car and you go to work, if anybody's doing that these days, the traffic parts for you. You have a really easy journey to work and you get there. And that's how you set your day off. But you literally, the reason that people think that they wake up and they feel terrible, they don't, but they don't catch those very few seconds before they start thinking about what they were thinking about before they went to sleep or what happened yesterday or, oh, I've got to talk to that knob at work today who I really hate.

55:46 So you have to catch it. Just you have to just catch those seconds as soon as you wake up and find something to appreciate. And you'll notice that I'm saying appreciate because to me, people will tell you to be grateful and to do gratitude lists. I never recommend that. I'm not into gratitude at all because to me, gratitude has a kind of element of unworthiness to it. It's like you ought to be grateful for that and you should be grateful. Whereas appreciation doesn't have any of that in it.

56:22 And also, there are things that you can appreciate that you wouldn't necessarily be grateful to because you can appreciate a really beautiful autumn colored tree or you could appreciate a really beautiful flower, but it wouldn't necessarily occur to you to feel grateful for that tree or grateful for that. So there are loads more things that you can appreciate. And appreciation is the best feeling place you can be in. If you can get yourself into a feeling of appreciation, you're just setting yourself up for success. I like that. I've not really heard that before. There's a subtle distinction between gratitude and appreciation.

57:04 Not that they're hugely different, but there is more freedom around appreciation than necessarily gratitude. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, much, much more freedom around appreciation. And yeah, as I say, there's just a, I don't know, a feeling a kind of subservience about gratitude. You should right? Sorry, I can see. I might not be grateful that my wife had a go at me. I haven't got a wife anymore, right? But I can appreciate what she was saying. I could appreciate that she has the confidence and the and she's a stand for me and our family that she would say something like that. That's pretty powerful. You can appreciate things that you're not grateful for, that's for sure.

57:44 Definitely. Definitely. Yeah. I'll give you, I'll give you an example that might help for people who are thinking, well, that's all a load of twaddle. But my husband was in hospital and he was really quite ill. And I went to visit him every visiting time for three weeks. So that's lunchtime and evening. And at the end of the, it was, it was Valentine's Day anyway. And through our son, he arranged to get me some flowers, which was really nice. And I really appreciated the flowers. And I said, oh, thank you. I really appreciate that. And he said,

58:24 I wanted you to know how grateful I am that you visited me every day. And I felt terrible. It just made me feel awful because I thought, why would you be grateful? Why would you be grateful that you're my husband? Of course I came. I came every day because I wanted to see you. Whereas if he'd said, I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you visiting every day. Completely different feel. Wow, that is really clear, actually. That is very, not a slight distinction, as I said before, but that is a very clear distinction. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, one final comment here from Freetown.

59:04 He says on the. morning affirmations, morning affirmations are great. We use Bible verses that have positivity in them and read them to each other. Then throughout the day, when something annoying happens, we repeat one. The fact you've already said it in the morning really helps you bring it back up later in the day. Yeah, I'm sure that's true because you set yourself up with that first thing in the morning. Yeah, great strategy. And people that don't read the Bible, it doesn't have to be from the Bible. You can. No. I mean, there's a little podcast called The Daily Stoic, which is absolutely brilliant. No one's ever come across Stoicism before, but that precedes the Bible by, well, it depends on which Stoic you're reading, but anywhere between a couple of thousand and a couple of hundred years.

59:46 But yeah, really clear messages there about how you approach your day and words of wisdom on things turning out the right way, even if they were challenging in the moment. Well, Kim, this has been a lovely conversation. Thank you so much. I hope it's been of value to people listening around the subjects of empowerment and mindset. Where can people come and work with you? I know when we met, you were offering a mindset challenge you had coming up. Has that been or is that coming up? I did the mindset challenge. That was a five-day mindset challenge. And now I've last Monday started my 12-week Improve Your Mindset program,

1:00:29 which I'm running for the first time. So what I'm expecting will be happening is that I'll do another mindset challenge in the new year and then run another program after that. So yeah, if anyone wants to do that, that would be great. And if you want to get in touch, if you put Kim Campion Therapy into Google, you should find me, I think. But also I'm on LinkedIn and Facebook. And if you just put Kim Campion Empowerment into either LinkedIn or Facebook, you should find me. There it is on the screen there. Kim Campion Therapy.

1:01:09 Thank you. Yeah. People should definitely come and get involved with you. This has been a real joy. Thank you, Kim, for sharing your time with me today. Thank you for inviting me. I've really enjoyed the conversation. Yeah, awesome. I'll say goodbye. Hold tight. We'll wrap up together after this. Okay. Thanks so much, everybody, for joining us on the Team Superdad podcast. Be sure to subscribe on Apple. Leave a review on Apple if that's where you're at, or go to any of the podcast channels that you listen to. Watch out for the trailers coming up for the next lives. The best way to get that is be part of the Team Superdad community. That's the facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash Team Superdad.

1:01:49 Or just go to the teamsuperdad.com website and click on the start here button. I'll see you on the next live. Team Superdad out. Bye. Well, thanks for listening to the end. I enjoy having women on the Team Super Dad podcast. It's important. You hear me say this all the time, but there is so many polarized views in this world of men versus women. And actually, the best thing we can do is get to understand each other, not just a bit better, but actually a whole lot better, as best as possible, basically. And Kim, I just enjoyed meeting her, chatting with her, and we were so aligned around the subjects of mindset and empowerment.

1:02:34 And I do talk about this a lot, right? But it really is about taking control of your thoughts and using them to create what it is that you want. And not just because it's going to magically pop out of thin air, but because you can start to get behind it with your goals, your planning, the people you involve, your family. Just really, it starts with having a clear outlook and a sense of belief that it's really going to happen because that's what we're talking about. And Team Super Dad is all about that. We go through life, the highs and lows. We have hopes and dreams, basically, and then life happens. And as things start to go, perhaps not quite as we want them to, we get a bit more panicky, a bit more fed up, and then everything goes to crap.

1:03:17 So if you've enjoyed that episode, like all of them, then I invite you over to the Team Superdad group on Facebook. And that is simply search up teamsuperdad or facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash team superdad come and join the community there that's totally free and coming into this december we've got the focus challenge at the beginning of december which will lead into the hero academy launching at the beginning of january which is super exciting it's a whole training world with my team superdad philosophy running right through it about how you can create all these things that we talk about from your fitness to your to your focus managing your finances finances creating more income and basically having a whole lot

1:04:04 more fun and better communication with your partner or your children if dating is where you're at like me then somewhere in amongst that we've got dating coaches and experts uh to come along and kick us up the ass the book no one missed the nice guy is one of my most thought-provoking books of the last well probably the last 20 years to be honest and really just impressed upon me some powerful distinctions around our relationships and about who we're being in the world so team super dad is is a constantly evolving thing and having you part of it

1:04:42 being on that journey with me uh evolving your own life and and and and becoming the best possible dad and man that you can be that's the journey that we're on together and as as i always anticipated imagine if all the people i'd met in my life the experts the coaches the specialists what if they could all support me in creating my best life ever so that's it i hope you've enjoyed today's episode give us a thumbs up a like a comment a share go and leave a review on apple wherever it is that you're watching or listening to this then please um please say hello and drop us some love until next time team super dad out bye

1:05:24 this has been team super dad find us at teamsuperdad.com