Elite Mindset: Build A Ten Out Of Ten Life feat Michael Serwa

00:00 I can speak with confidence that whatever it is that you want, you can have it if you are willing to work hard enough for it for a long enough period of time. Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go! Welcome back to The Jonnie Jensen Show. It's great to have you here, this podcast is for men! For motivated modern men dads who want to create the same success they have at work as uh...at home basically it's my absolute pleasure to have you here today to share with you this guest

00:53 episode, I'm working on doing some more of these and we've got in the pipeline a series we're playing with the name of The Comeback Kings where we'll be talking to men who've been through trials and tribulations. Who maybe have hit rock bottom or started again or completely pivoted and had an unexpected life experience and come back bigger So if that's you or you've heard of the podcast with men who've got a great story like that, then by all means and please do get in touch. Share that with me and we'll be great to have you on as a guest. If you've been here before then it is absolute pleasure to have you back! If is your first time how did you find us? Thank you to those who introduced you and remember to pay that forward

01:39 If you're on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, click the little button up in the top right hand corner and leave us a review. There's links in the show notes to both Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And that helps grow the show, that helps put us out there in front of more men. This episode is with Michael Serwa an interesting guy I know him through a couple of different networks The Key Person Of Influence Network through Landmark Education Circles Polish guy

02:22 Welcome back to the I'm If you're my dad, then you might want to let him listen and teach him as many swear words as possible. But that's just how I grew up right? Anyway like I said be sure to share this episode and if you're interested in working with us here at the High Value Man Project whether that's one-on-one in elite coaching with myself or whether that's through our Inner Circle or Accelerator programs we've got our annual Lodge Firewalking Empowerment event coming up in November

03:30 So there's so much going on. Get yourself over to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group or if you want to speak with me one-on-one then go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash powercall. So without further ado let's get on with today's guest Michael Serwa Michael, absolutely brilliant to have you here on The Jonnie Jensen Show. Lives in London comes from Poland author of From Good To Amazing a phenomenal coach at an elite level which you're going to tell us a little bit more about in your own words but first of all Michael in the in your classic famous podcast chair there it's brilliant to have you on the show today how are doing? I'm great thank you for having me Jonny looking forward this conversation

04:18 We're not going to get too stuck into your coaching background and things but suffice to say anyone can search up your videos on YouTube and see you talk about that at great length. But give yourself a little bit of an introduction just to position yourself, and then we're really going to get stuck into some of the key themes of what's wrong with men today? And how can we show up more confidently in the world? Really what's the impact The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Michael Serwa,

05:07 It's about the way people approach life. It's about the way people see themselves and how capable they are to build their life, they want to build for themselves and I'm there to assist them along the way so another way of putting it would be...I work with winners. I don't work with your average joes with no ambition and no drive and you know trying to have an easy life. I work with people who are hungry, Absolutely, I'm not interested in accepting or tolerating the status quo. And I can speak confidently about how the transition from quote unquote normal life to extraordinary life is possible because being a high school dropout coming to London at 22 so 20 years ago with no money and barely speaking any English and then four years after starting coaching

06:04 Back when I was 28, becoming the highest paid life coach in the country. Took me another few years to build a 10 out of 10 life for myself overall but I can speak with confidence that whatever it is that you want, you can have if you are willing to work hard enough for it for long enough periods of time Yeah, and that's absolutely concur with that message. It's one of the sort of founding principles of high value man is this contradiction between living a low-value life and suffering and struggling and just the downward spiral that it creates. And when you actually position yourself to say well what if I was

06:46 What if I was managing my finances and putting the business in place, impacting the community? What if I was managing all of my relationships and not just focusing on one poor woman and dragging her down. Like what if I was having fun and adventure and showing up as really a richness of life then what kind of man would I be then? Then what kind of life would I have? You said just magically there, I've heard you say it before about people being able to create the life that they desire if only they're willing to go out there and get it. Where do you start with people when they come and approach you about coaching? And like to be clear this conversation is not going to be a long conversation about what is coaching and why should people do it but

07:31 I think people get the idea that you have to be broken and ruined and on your knees to warrant a coach in your life. But that really isn't the case either, where do you come from in that position? Yeah so first of all coaches don't deal with quote-unquote broken people if you are broken we need either a therapist or a psychiatrist if you are really broken those people are qualified to help people who are broken We are not! And in my case specifically My clients are And often already highly functioning. So not just functioning, so they're at least functioning but many of my clients are really highly functioning so far away from being broken. But the reason they choose to work with me because they recognize that they are successful in some areas of their life and often not always but often for all my clients, money side of things, career side of things, you know financially okay. But sometimes as you know that financial success

08:31 might be built to the detriment of other areas of their life. And it could love life, it could be health and fitness... So being a generalist I look at my clients' lives as a whole and I commit myself to X amount of months to do everything I can do to help them create the life they want to create for themselves. That's by looking at the areas where there are not Excelling yet and working in partnership with my clients to get those areas to the same level or similar level of success that they've already experienced in other aspects of their life. Yeah, having it all! That's what I call it – having it all. And Jonnie this is very much linked to how I thought about life in my 20s right?

09:26 As I said, I quit school at 17. So I have absolutely no formal education of any kind. Um, I came to London at 22. I could barely speak English. How I got my first retail job remains a fucking mystery because it must've been some charm because I could barely put few sentences together right? And I got a job as sales assistant in retail right? So so I spoke some English obviously they wouldn't give you this job if I didn't speak any but like it was very very basic right But the hunger was there, the ambition was there. And then a year later, so 23 I got into personal development and

10:06 Throughout my 20s, I remember thinking you know, I had very little. You know and then I became a manager so I've been managing shops and it was paying the bills but it wasn't fulfilling at all and you know I wasn't doing well with women. You know like I've never been fat right? Like I've never been like completely out of shape. Yeah I haven't always been in the shape I am today But I was definitely shit with women. I was definitely doing something that not only, I didn't enjoy retail but also they didn't pay particularly well right? But because of my deep interest in personal development and my, I suppose general psychological makeup, I had this idea in my head like to your point that I want everything

10:55 Right? I absolutely fucking want everything. I do not want to just have fulfillment in my career or doing well with the ladies, or be in a good shape...I wanted everything but here is the difference because me saying in my 20s that I want everything there's nothing fucking original about it and there was this great quote from James Clear he said both losers and winners have the same goals The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Michael Serwa, Serwa,

11:37 We don't just talk about wanting those things, we do what's required. We put the fucking work in and we don't stop until we get what we wanted, until we build a life that we want right? So in my case it took me... I'm 42 now ...it took me 34 years to get to the point where I could look at my life first of all myself and then my life and say to myself I've arrived All the elements are in place. All the fucking things that I wanted are in place. First and foremost, I became the kind of man I wanted to become but it all started with this not just idea but this conviction that I absolutely can have it all It wasn't a question if...it was only a question when or how long is going take me together? Right? So it's very easy for me now to sit in front someone Man-woman, I don't care work with both men and women

12:32 And look them in the eye and say, listen whatever is that you want. You can have it. And my criteria for clients are or have nothing to do with the background The industry those people are in, how much money they make. It is about how motivated they are. It is about their work ethic. It's about the chemistry I have or don't have with them right? Those are the kind of things that I look at because those are the ingredients that I need to be able to fucking prepare or create a delicious meal

13:13 Right? Because when you think about it, you can be Gordon Ramsay with the state of the art knives and state-of-the-art fucking kitchen. But if you are being asked to create a delicious meal out of shitty ingredients... Yeah! It's just not going to happen right? So it is very important for me to make sure that my clients have the right ingredients so I can get work and create something that is remarkable And that's the sort of, the two elements of it is one is if we're going to stick with that analogy. The chef, the person in the room and then the other part is the food and oven and all the tools and ingredients available for them so you know in my work its very much about letting or making the man realize that for there to create

14:08 They need to be operating at the right level because that's up, because that is basically trying to drive a car. That's got only three wheels and an empty fuel tank in a cracked windscreen, right? You've gotta put the structure around the machine first when you're working with people when clients come to you and you see that they're not creating The success they want in all of these areas how much importance goes into Looking at how they're managing themselves, how much they're showing up for themselves. What they're doing day to day. You said you are fitter than you've ever been? That's a basic foundation of operating well. It's crazy that people are so living chaotically expecting to get great results. So how do you break people down at the start to get them to focus on themselves? Yeah I mean, so I don't need to break them down because when you think about it if someone

14:59 is self-aware enough to recognize that their life is not as good as it could be, to the point where they think about getting a coach. Because I don't do any cold outreach if you will right? Nothing wrong with that obviously, its just not something that I do so everyone I meet for the initial consultation...I have around 100 initial consultations per year So thats the initial meeting I'm going to There is a high probability that the chemistry will be right, because they got a sense of me through doing the research and they have an understanding of what to expect. And then if my criteria are being met... So the things I was talking about earlier – I feel like this person is motivated enough, if this person is hardworking enough,

16:22 and And if you told me that you were a fucking badminton champion in your local area when you were 14, that would tell me everything I would need to know about you as far as your ability to execute on the things. I would need you to execute on if we have to work together because that will tell me that you are a fucking champion because if you could beat out badminton champions age 14, I know that whatever mindset and what

17:03 Whatever work ethic, whatever attitude allowed you to achieve that... ...that will be transferable or can be transferable to other areas of your life. And then I as a coach see myself as an enabler, as a tool that people use and it's that combination of someone who has the potential for transformation And a coach, so the tool that is capable, that's experienced, that's knowledgeable. And when you add that chemistry it's absolutely critical between a coach and coachee in order to create coming back from previous analogy

17:42 Michelin star level dish. When we have those ingredients together, that's when the magic happens right? I know that whoever i take on it's nearly impossible for this person's life not to transform as a direct result of us working together Because, you know like I said we spend those two three hours together before we even start coaching to suss each other out for me to see if they meet my criteria. For them to see if I meet their criteria right because what they see on the website is one thing but maybe yeah the experience of me when they need it might be different you know I think that's really the case but then whenever

18:20 When everything is there, all the ingredients are there. We put all of those elements together and that's the recipe for a successful coaching relationship leading to a desired outcome for the client which is obviously the name of the game here. One kind of final question in this section is what holds people back from getting coaching. You know, people have this idea that only a certain type of person is worthy of coaching and yet Olympic champions have a coach or acting Oscar winning people have coaches like the people at the top of their game have coaches and yet for everybody else it seems like a weird thing to do. Yeah Jonnie so as you said if I asked you to give me an example of an athlete, a professional athlete who doesn't have a coach he would really fucking struggle

19:08 Even at a junior level. Yeah, like you struggle because... And here is the fun fact not many people know that personal coaching or life coaching whatever we call it originated from sports coaching so many people would think that's a form of therapy that is similar to therapy but it is not It is taking the principles that have allowed sports coaches to coach their athletes over the years, over decades and seeing how those principles can be applied to people who are not athletes. So people like you and I, your everyday athletes if you will right?

19:46 And then also, as you said, actors... You will not find an actor who hasn't had acting coaching or accent coaching and diction. It's not just the really successful ones that would have a whole army of coaches that they've had throughout their careers but to your question I think the number one reason why only a small percentage of people have coaches is It is not as common, so you know this and I obviously know this. But it is not a common knowledge for the average person that something like life coaching or personal coaching whatever we call it exists right? So like everybody knows that personal trainers exist

20:30 Everybody knows, everybody heard at least about the therapist. Oh therapist yeah I heard about therapy shrinks or whatever people call it right? But you know we mustn't forget for us is so obvious that it could be easy to forget that the average person doesn't know that life coaching exists The This idea of asking for help. Women are so much fucking better at it! A woman has a problem and within 24 hours her three fucking girlfriends know about this problem, her partner knows about this problem... And she probably posted about it on fucking Instagram. A man would have a problem and for 10 years before he fucking commits suicide in extreme cases nobody even his spouse didn't realize that he had that fucking problem

21:33 So obviously I'm exaggerating both, right? No but it's true. It is an exaggeration but it's also real that's what happens yeah Because there's a reason why there are three fucking male suicides in the UK for every female suicide It's not because we are dumber as men, it is not because we are dumber although I think they said that we're actually less intelligent than women. Slightly. But it's not because we are dumber and it's just like this whole idea of... ...I'm a man and therefore I shouldn't need help to resolve my own issue And then you fucking kill yourself, you stupid motherfucker!

22:08 So like, you are too tough to ask for help and then you fucking kill yourself in extreme cases. Right? I don't like saying hypocrisy because that's hard but it just doesn't make sense! It doesn't fucking adapt. It doesn't make you less of a man it makes you more of a man... Professional tennis players saying, oh I'm not gonna get a coach because you know i'm a man. I should be able to figure this out for myself. I should be able to figure out by myself how to fucking win Wimbledon! I mean it'll be ridiculous but... But I think men make the problem something outside of themselves like the condition, the environment or the circumstances or that other person or my competitor is always something outside of them that's creating or causing things to be their way they are

22:57 Men don't realize or haven't been taught, actually so much of what's going on can be controlled and can be steered. Can be engineered from how you are from how you show up from the energy that your willing to give off and that's where full responsibility gets taken. And I think that's why suicide seems like such a obvious way out at some point because you go well...I can't control everything outside of me so i'm doomed! Fuck it Yeah, yeah. So it's often talked about how ignorance and I'm not an exception, I'm ignorant towards certain things as I find myself being sometimes and then I make a connection that more often than not when I'm being ignorant towards something it is because I lack education in that particular domain

23:46 And then the more I learn about that thing, I was previously ignorant about. The more I start to connect the dots and realize okay fair enough maybe i was a bit unfair in making that comment or making that judgment right so So the ignorant part here would be this idea, as you were saying that it's not my fault. You can't expect me to be happy because I was raised by a single mother. It's like what? I can give you 100 examples of highly successful men raised by a single mother. Oh! I can't be successful because I'm black. Well, I can give you 100 examples of successful black man

24:25 I can't be successful because, you know...I got redundant. You know? And that knocked down my confidence like seriously?! It's like we say in personal development, if you look for an excuse you will always find one. My advice is stop fucking looking! You're not gonna find something unless you're looking for it. Stop fucking looking for excuses take responsibility which in itself to use as a obvious thing but when I say shit like that which is one of the most obvious things that I could say some people find it controversial. All I have to say... You are saying its my fault? All I have to say is like, fucking ownership. Taking responsibility! Oh it's easy for you to say because you are... oh and then the educators just start, oh fucking hell he came from Poland that high school dropout and it's not like I came from a fucking rich family, I'm a trust fund baby

25:23 Some incredibly good-looking guy that women are lining up to fucking sleep with, right? Everything I have apart from my height. Like, I can't take credit for it. I'm on a policy. Can't take credit for that but everything else... Right? Like, I've worked for it! So nobody's gonna fucking tell me especially in this rich country that you can't make money. Because if I could make money after quitting school at 17 in Poland and coming here at 22 with nothing, if I could make money so can you if you are born in this country and English is your first language? And even if it's like oh but what about disabled people how about they fucking tell you that I had a blind client that I've worked with for two years and three months to be exact

26:18 I had a huge amount of time to get to know him. Completely blind, I'm not talking about partial blindness right? Completely blind! Not only he was more productive in terms of what he was doing day-to-day... To this day what he does day today than most people who are completely you know.. Who can see, who can hear two arms and two legs. Not only he was more productive than the average person far more productive Jonnie, this is to me almost like I never said that to him but this is something you know. I thought about it then and think about it today for two years and three months of coaching him and we're still in touch. I have never once heard a single word of complaint! How do you fucking explain it?

27:16 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Michael Serwa, Right? To make it worse, Jonnie. To make it worse he was only born partially blind and then at 11 years old the doctor prescribed him something that he took some pill whatever it was He went to sleep partially blind and woke up completely blind if anyone has the fucking right to be resentful It's him! He is not Somehow I can't fucking explain like for me. It's like how the fuck

28:05 I think about him as an example when i find myself feeling sorry for myself because my date cancelled on me last minute or prospective client said yes to working with me and then they ghosted me, you know. They didn't pay the income or put a lid on it for me and then I coach myself and say shut the fuck up! Like, shut the fuck up you pussy. Just be a fucking man take it on the chain move on life goes on and all of that and back to what I was saying if you're looking for an excuse you will always find one but that's not the fucking strategy that gonna get you anywhere The only fucking strategy that is going to get you somewhere in life

28:47 Whether you're male or female, it doesn't matter. It's taking full responsibility and that's bad news and good news right? Like if you agree with this theory... If anyone agrees with the theory that is a good news and bad news at the same time now it's bad news because if you are willing to accept that this is true then you can blame anyone outside of yourself for The fact that your life is shit or suboptimal if it's shit or suboptimal. But the good news is that, If you are responsible for where you are in life You have the power to change it. Yeah choice! It's one of the most freeing concepts To have someone see Is that it IS all a choice 100%

29:35 And, you know, leaning into this where we're headed here today is this sort of leaning in towards the topic of like what's wrong with men today. Right? In this we've got elite performers and then we've got people who are aspiring to have it all as we just talked about there are the masses seem to be in this horrible malaise of not really caring, operating way below sub optimum and seeming to be oblivious about it. But meanwhile relationships are breaking down productivities down creativity like we're in the shit basically what's your view? How do you see this? Like why is it happening? Jonnie I don't know because it's too mean call me fucking conservative

30:24 I don't give a fuck, not you. Someone might have a fucking idea. I say things like that and it's funny because we're talking about me posting on LinkedIn which I post regularly and Sorry, I saw you got roasted about six months ago. Someone was having a go at you about living in Mayfair. I'd have to go back and see which post it was but the most... It was crazy! They were like having a go at you about where you lived. Yeah, I get roasted so much that I don't even remember. Sounds about right. I don't remember that post but yeah, I'm so f***ing used to it. The funniest thing is someone's

31:02 It's always someone I've never met, right? And it's often someone without a fucking picture on LinkedIn which is weird in itself or like a weird looking picture. It's not like a sane... Like cat. Exactly! Back in the day when I used to post on Facebook there would be a picture of a cat instead of a human. So and sometimes you can feel anger or someone who's upset And I'm just like, I'm reading it looking at it and it's called call me fucking sick in the head. But like, I find it entertaining for me is like because because the entertaining part for me is like this motherfucker which I absolutely don't care about cuz I don't know them so like I wish them all the best but I don't fucking know them they trying to hurt me

31:52 Right? By saying some mean things on the back of me, saying things like you gotta take responsibility. You are responsible... I never think about it! Like i'm writing that post like oh let me write something controversial Today I'm in a provocative spot. I'm just saying what I'm thinking! The last thing I think about is to be controversial or to try to like fucking insult anyone, I'm just saying what iIm thinking right and some people get triggered right? It's never the successful people by the way it's always people who based on their profiles they you know... What you will find- They're frustrated with their own life yeah exactly with critics what you will find is that you know and you can confort yourself if you ever get criticized whoever is listening

32:33 Comfort yourself with the fact that if you pay attention, you will see that it will never be someone at your level of success or more successful than you criticizing you. It's almost always going to be someone less successful than you right? That thing they said about Mephis like how ridiculous over...it's like shall I apologize for the fact that i've done well enough in life to live in one of the most expensive areas in the world Like, shall I... It's a modest apartment but it is in one of the most expensive areas. Shall like, shall I apologize for it? Like, if I stole to be able to afford to live here yeah you should all fucking call me a scumbag but I didn't. You know, I paid for myself, I pay my taxes almost always on time not always on time but almost always on time as well so

33:27 So yeah, someone is trying to hurt me and I'm looking at it like f**k this is entertaining for me because you're wasting your time. You cannot... Like I have this rule Jonnie that I am the only person that allows or gives permission to make me feel bad about myself. I try not too but I'm the only person who can hurt myself. I don't give anyone and by anyone I mean anyone the power to hurt me Because when you think about it, like oh this person upset me. This person made me angry... This would only be technically possible if they entered your nervous system and triggered that emotion physically which is obviously not possible They said something and then you allow that thing or did something And you allowed that thing that they said or did to trigger your chemical response right?

34:24 You can control that. It is easier for men to control than for women because we are more logical, men are more emotional and you see saying shit like that what I just said if i set up on the internet... I can do it as an experiment! If there's gonna be some fucking feminist, some cat lady going what do you mean women are emotional? You fucking are emotional and we are fucking logical. It doesn't mean that you are only emotional and we're only logical, can we fucking agree that for the most part men are more logical a woman are more emotional? Every single fucking woman I know would agree with that because it's a fucking fact!

35:08 I mean, like how many more women do i need to date and be with for me to I cannot imagine a life without women. I love women so much, right? But partially because I know them so well...I know how emotional they are! Right?! But that's one of the things we love about them because if they were like us logical analytical and obviously exceptions you know there are more technical minded women and more emotional guys but i'm obviously generalizing right

35:59 But that's precisely why we are so fucking perfect for each other in straight relationships. Because we are different, right? And like me being with my fucking edgy if you will personality with my fucking loud and obnoxious personality I am always the most attracted to the women who The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Michael Serwa, Serwa, Because she takes, with her soft feminine energy she would take my edge off and with my strong fucking masculine energy I would make her feel safe. I will make her feel like we are fucking untouchable that nobody can fuck with us because that's my mindset nobody can fuck with me and certainly nobody can fuck with my woman it is just a bad idea right? Like you're gonna create problems for yourself if you try all right because that's my fucking attitude

36:58 I was talking about how, call it conservative but like you know. This is maybe linked to the fact that Polish and men in Poland are generally speaking more conservative and men in Eastern Europe in general are more conservative when it comes to a role of man versus the role of woman Again that's kind of shit that gets you fucking cancelled It's an important dynamic of relationships. Women want to be led, they want to be led and Jonnie this is not some fucking theory that I read about in a fucking book or some theory that i have loosely developed

37:43 While meditating in the morning, I've worked with over 500 people one-to-one over the last 14 years. Half of them approximately were women. I got to know this stuff I'm talking about... ...I heard this stuff I'm talking about straight from the horse's mouth so to speak. Right? Because both my male clients and female clients would obviously be honest with me because I am their fucking coach I'm in the fucking corner. They know they can tell me anything and I will never judge them, and obviously I will never share it with anyone so they fucking share shit with me! Not once have I heard a female client saying... British or non-British half of my clients are British half of my clients are foreign right? not once have I had a female client saying that I wish my partner was nicer sweeter more gentle

38:41 That's never the fucking case. They say things like, I wish he was taking more initiative... ...I wish he was more decisive.... ...I wish you would fuck me every now and again as opposed to just making love to me! And then I defend those guys, so listen you know in their defense nobody fucking taught us that that's what you like. So we've watched a bunch of Hollywood movies and we thought that making love is what you want and on this guys land actually you don't like it that much you know? That's the definition of leadership in a relationship! You're not talking about

39:21 Control and being her flipping boss and not letting her do... That's not the... You're not talking about control, you're talking about leading. I'm not Andrew Tate. I leave that shit to him and bullshit to him right? I'm talking about a partnership it's similar way how i put it to my clients or prospective client during the initial consultations before we start working together so listen The way I see it, this relationship, this coaching relationship will be a partnership. I'll be in charge. I'll be the project manager. I'll be leading the process so you don't need to worry about it but its a partnership and same with the woman that I've been relationships with

40:03 There were partnerships, right? But I was definitely the one leading the decisions or making the decisions and being the man in a relationship. Now some women... many women I've worked with display similar characteristics to mine and therefore in order for their relationship to be sustainable they cannot be with men like me because we would fucking kill each other Because we'd be clashing all the time, right? But this is less about... This conversation or like what I'm trying to say. This is less about men versus women. This is more about masculine energy versus feminine energy. The more masc... As a general rule the more masculine the man is, the more masculine energy he has, the more feminine energy he's gonna need from his partner in order for that relationship to work and equally the more masculine energy

41:01 The more feminine, if you will man the better for her. For that relationship to be sustainable now I am not fucking trying to say for a second that masculine is superior to feminine that men are better than women, but men are definitely stronger than women. And here is the fucking... Again if I fucking said that on LinkedIn tonight you would see what would happen right? The feminist right? But here is the fucking thing and again I know this straight from the hostess mouth Women absolutely want us to be the stronger ones They absolutely want us to be the more confident ones They rarely talk about it publicly

41:46 But behind closed doors, behind my close coaching doors that's what they fucking say. They want the man to be stronger in any possible way she can be louder she could have that masculine energy but she still wants her man even if he is more quiet more introverted right? To be strong enough to be able to handle her for her to feel safe because ultimately, and it's a biological evolutionary fucking wiring. Women never got to choose that they want to feel loved sure but they also want to feel safe not just for themselves but also for the offspring that they might think about having already having with that man right so if the man is weak right and he will be weak if all he does

42:39 Right? And spends time, fucking and money on OnlyFans. And he doesn't fucking achieve anything of any kind. He doesn't go to the gym because it can be bothered. Because he's too fucking busy getting fat playing computer games That's not the kind of man obviously that anyone would feel safe around and then those fucking men will be talking shit about women how women are not interested in them Of course they're not interested in you, motherfucker. When you look in the mirror as a man or woman would you want to do yourself?

43:20 If the answer is no, you have some fucking work to do. If you wouldn't want to have sex with yourself how on earth would you expect that somebody else would want to have sex with you? And the great fucking news about this whole thing is that all those things are changeable! You can be the shortest, the ugliest, the poorest motherfucker right now and I promise you if you commit a year or two to personal development you can transform your life With or without a coach. You will do it faster with the coach, but even without there's so much f**king information out there in 2025 that you don't need to pay for everything that

44:00 You need to know, it's already out there and you can access it for free. So there is no excuse... It's not like this lack of information. It's like fuck! There is no library I could access in the town that I live in or... Yeah, of course. There are no books on the... This is not 1950s. All the information is out there right? Imagine someone's... Neither you nor I work with people who are really at that I'm But then what are the actions they're going to take or what are you gonna hold them accountable to start taking back ground in those areas? Yeah, but you see it's less about... because I was saying how you can be the shortest, the ugliest. You can be short as a man cause that's like one of the stories that men like to tell themselves. In the context of women is like, you can't expect me to be successful with women cause I'm so short

45:17 I can give you 100 examples of short men who are making absolute fucking carnage in the dating life. Absolute fucking carnage! Same with being overweight or fat, I know fat guys who have women... There's this one client I'm thinking about who is seriously overweight not obese but seriously overweight Because he's so charismatic, because he is such a good guy. Because he has such great people skills and not just any woman I saw pictures of this woman... So if you are overweight right now, if you are broke right now don't think for second that you cannot expect to have

46:14 Flourishing, dating life or good dating life until you get a six pack. I don't have a fucking six pack! Or until you become like super rich...I'm not super rich right? I'm comfortable but not super rich right?! But just start working on yourself because you see that overweight client I've mentioned, he hits the fucking gym. He's on the fucking move. He has the fucking thing that counts it... He takes fucking 10 000 steps per day. He is not a fat guy doing nothing! He is a business owner and very successful one as well. He just happens to be overweight – no problem for women. And this is another practical tip I can share

46:57 A woman will be comfortable with whatever it is that you might be conscious of, whether it's your height, whether it's your weight, whether it's your hair situation as long as she believes you are comfortable with it. And using this client as an example he would make jokes about his fatness You're like, look how fat I am. And I know that he...I haven't witnessed it but I'm pretty sure he talks in a similar way around those women so they're like He doesn't give a fuck about being fat therefore as woman I don't give a fuck about him being fat right? The same with my blind client. He would make fun of his blindness and he was making fun of it So I was making fun of it and we were just laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing Right? But here's where I'm going with this

47:53 Because I appreciate that if someone said to you, okay, if you want to have a great life those are the things we need to do and unless you achieve those things, you can't expect to have a great life. This might feel very daunting because it's like f**k now how many years is going to take me to lose this many kgs? How many years is gonna take me to build this business, to build this professional success? Guys, all you gotta do is fucking start. That will change your fucking energy! Right? Just sign up to that fucking gym if you don't like to lift weights... Fucking start running! Do three hours of fitness of some kind every fucking week it doesn't matter what it is just get yourself out there even if its a fast walk 3 times per week thats a great fucking start and then

48:45 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Michael Serwa, Serwa, I was fucking dating models when I was broke, right? In that transitional period from retail to coaching. I was broke! The catwalk model girlfriend I had she was making more money than me Did I give a fuck? No! Because up to that point I've already done enough work on myself as a man where I was like hey sweetheart This is how it's gonna be, right? Like I was the guy. I was the leader. Right? And again confidence is something you can work on. Yeah so how does a man tune into that? How do they access that inner courage, that inner confidence, that inner charisma? How do they access that? Okay okay! So here's my theory on confidence and happiness...so we can put happines in the same fucking bracket because I have the same theory or explanation for both.

49:43 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Michael Serwa, Serwa, It doesn't happen, right? So we are born happy. We are born confident and then through events that take place in our formative years or during our formative years either happiness or confidence of both can get a hit and I appreciate that but what I'm trying to say is that I believe our factory setting if you will is that of confidence and happiness and the happiness it's like okay children are happy

50:32 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Thinking about the future and the things that we have, whether we can have them or not. And then regret of the past – those two fucking realities as opposed to... I'm not saying I am in the present at all times – I'm not! Monks spend decades trying to get to that point when they can be fully present, right? And meditate for four days... sorry, four hours per day to get to that point. So I know it's easy said than done but on the subject of confidence when you think about small children they are fearless until like a child

51:30 on the train or on the plane, the child will be walking around looking at people with confidence touching other people. And then parents get like don't talk to strangers which obviously it's a reasonable advice but when you think about it we are born happy and confident so this is I'm answering your question right? This is the most important thing to remember because if that's our factory setting if you agree not you but anyone listening If you agree that this could be true That means that you don't need to learn anything new, you need to unlearn certain things. Because you were born happy and confident, right? So the baseline is this what I'm trying to say like... You have in you the ingredients that you need to have, you just gotta stop telling yourself the fucking stories that keep you away from allowing yourself to express yourself

52:26 In this world, the way you want to express yourself which is authentically and unapologetically. Which is what I've been doing my whole life or trying to do my whole life And yes when you do that through the extreme I do it You get some fucking backlash sometimes Right? When you talk about things I talk about publicly on LinkedIn Yes! You get some shit from strangers Who cares?! Who cares!? I don't know those motherfuckers Right? I know who I am and no guy in fucking Malaysia living with his parents can make me question my integrity or make me question who I am. I know who I am, I spent 42 years learning about who I am so you want to like anyone listening... You want to trust

53:10 that you have all the fucking ingredients in you, You just gotta fucking start acting on it as opposed to just reading more books. If you are that far and you start reading books, you're much better off reading one book and fucking implement the things the author talks about in that book. You can start with my book, very easy read, super easy read One book and you implement things from that book as opposed to going from one book to another, right? There is this seven person development avoidance activity. It's like oh I'm working towards my goals but what have you actually accomplished in the last 12 months or I've read 16 books

53:49 No, no but what have you actually done? Like have you spoken to a woman in the bar or like created Hinge account. Have you got a better job? Have you lift some weights? Oh no I'm getting ready! I'm reading it's like yeah... I'm 72 books away from being read. You don't need to read any books. Like you don't need to read any fucking books right?! But all you gotta do is to get out of your fucking ass and whatever it is, like you know this. If you're listening to this, it means that you are smart if you are smart You fucking know at least more or less what you gotta do It's not the lack of knowledge Is the lack of implementation of that knowledge

54:34 And start small, you know. Don't think about like oh I need to become a millionaire or I need to date models or have a six pack... Just fucking start small! Get out of the house and look out online for people who resonate with you. Follow those people there's so many great People out there offering free advice every fucking day. Any platform you choose, there's going to be someone you're gonna resonate with. Might not me for everyone, it certainly won't be but for anyone listening there is gonna a whole bunch of people that you can learn from and just remember that with some very few exceptions like Donald Trump being one of them, a successful person who is basically a trust fund baby most of those people who you can follow online are self-made

55:21 They came from nowhere. They didn't have a rich dad who gave them, I think it was a million bucks, who gave Donald million bucks to start his property fucking thing right? For the most part they are self-made like myself. What one man can do any man can do! Exactly exactly exactly i'm a big believer and like I said before I know, I can talk about it with confidence because nobody can fucking question. Nobody can say oh it's easy for you to say because you went to Eton and then you went to Oxford and your father is a baron...I had a client like that lovely guy, Eton-Oxford son of the Baron very good looking tall, if this guy went online and started saying shit like me

56:05 Yeah, sure enough. So you're like yeah it's easy for you to say because you have everything handed to you on a silver platter which he did right? But that's certainly not my story and everybody who knows my story... It's not that hard to fucking like yeah okay maybe this guy could do it I could do it You absolutely fucking can! I'm such a believer A massive believer in human potential I don't care what your starting point is Forget about me and my fucking High school drop-in. If the fucking blind guy can do it with a big fucking smile on his face without a word of complaint, what is your fucking excuse? Beautiful! That is an awesome way as we sort of roll on towards the hour Michael to wrap this up

56:53 It's just been a real pleasure hearing you. I mean, it's been more you talking than me and that's absolutely fine as always with the way that these such chats end what's a great way for people to connect with you? And you mentioned your book as well if someone is interested in really soaking up your approach to these things how should they go about that? Very simple michaelserwa.com and from there you will find everything there is too be found links to my book and links to the social media platforms I'm active on at the moment. Yeah, and we'll put those in the show notes as well. Thanks again Michael! Thank you for having me Jonnie! You're welcome.

57:43 Creating the life you deserve starts with you. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go!