Burnout doesn't just happen at work - fix your home life

00:00 Burnout isn't just a work-based problem. For the majority of men, the stress and struggle we experience at home is far more likely to cause us to be burnt out and when that happens it ruins everything! In this episode of The Jonnie Jensen Show, We're going to break down what burnout at home looks like how you can fix it And just how many men are going through this right now? Roll theme Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go!

00:49 Hello men, it's good to have you back here in The Jonnie Jensen Show. Whether you're watching on the video or tuning into the podcast is absolutely great to have you here! Be sure to subscribe share leave us a review and help us spread the word of this show and of this podcast we are The High Value Man Project. We're supporting men around the world dads midlife modern men Dads who want to create the life they desire, not one they feel stuck in so they can be the man they want to be rather than struggling and suffering through it all. Okay? This episode is very

01:27 The Jonnie Jensen Show, The The Jonnie Jensen Show,

02:24 I don't know, maybe like you could be blaming other people. You could be blaming circumstance. It wouldn't be like this if she wasn't like that or it wouldn't be like this if I had a different job. The reality is that a prolonged exposure to stress will have an impact on your body that is a chemical reaction Okay, our body is geared towards survival as well as creativity and procreation and love and laughter. Probably one of its most fun Fundamental functions is to keep us alive. And so the adrenaline and the cortisol that we create in our body when we are under stress or in danger, it's there to help us get out of the way or to get somewhere safe. But in this modern world that we live in, we're really not in danger of too many saber-toothed tigers... Or I don't know whatever else. What else could kill us?

03:21 I'm going to be talking about the topic of burnout. Jonnie Jensen

04:09 We hadn't really known each other a great deal of times, certainly not lived with each other. And then we had got stepson in with the deal was sharing a house she didn't really settle in Brighton and then we get pregnant and decide we're going to move back to Maidstone there's a lot about people they're reconnecting with old friends trying to find our way couldn't get a job started a business trying to make enough money avoiding bankruptcy Then we have children you think that things are gonna get better To start with, they do. But of course we're then tired and trying to work out what it means to be a parent for the baby. Then three miscarriages then just a load of other sort of health stuff in our family and when the second Rose was born my wife was poorly and I was really scared that she was dying and like all of this stuff just built up and built up

05:02 What I didn't realize for myself was that the mental and physical toll of that was not just exhausting, but it was leaving me incapable to a certain degree. Incapable of achieving what I wanted to achieve, to be the man that I wanted to be. And so ultimately when my brother sadly took his own life it ended up being the end. It was the last straw and Starting to understand that as I did, as I went to the doctors and rebuilt myself. I started to understand more about exactly what had gone on for me personally in those preceding four years rather than thinking it's work, it's her, its life, It is something that I've got to push through

05:54 It was like I was driving around in a car with two flat tires and no matter how hard I accelerated, the car just didn't do what I wanted it to do. And worse because I didn't address the two flat tires, the car got more and more damaged other problems started to occur which made it even harder to drive In that metaphor of life, if I've fixed the tires arguably a lot of the other stuff might have been easier. Now, I don't know whether we would have navigated our way out of it as a couple or not but I'd like to think that I certainly wouldn't have crumbled had the breakdown and you know, the ultimate chaos that it caused is I had to put myself back together so that's what I want for you out of this is to be able to recognize and avoid what exactly that I went through

06:46 The chemical reaction that goes on, right? It's about these two chemicals in our body cortisol and adrenaline. Like I said these are both our fight-and-flight chemicals right it's we're wired for survival these short bursts of high focused attention and acute sensitivity right when stress is constant like when a relationship is Jonnie Jensen, The Jonnie Jensen Show.

07:28 That in turn means that your heart rate, your blood pressure, your glucose levels. They all rise muscles tense to digestion slows libido drops immunity weakens these are all impacts of the stress response switch being stuck on it then leads into disrupted sleep Your cycadian rhythm is all out the window so you don't know whether you're coming or going, tired or excited. Like your body then starts to face basic autoimmune conditions. Your liver and kidneys struggle to clear toxins because they're processing stress and hormones instead

08:11 Adrenal fatigue, what's it called? Like the thyroid. All these things start to get impacted because you've got this toxic level of unhelpful chemicals in your body. You literally start running on empty Brain fog, fatigue, irritability setting. You start snapping at the people closest to you and your relationships get drained even more at the time where you should be coming together and working this through and supporting each other and feeling like there's a safety net there You

09:02 The Jonnie Jensen Show, If you can detach yourself from the emotions of that slightly, there was probably something going on that felt so bad and awkward. Pretty much one of the solutions was I'll have an affair because it feels good! It's the feel-good that we want. Feel good better than feel bad. Not excusing it but it does start to become more understandable

09:46 Another aspect of our bodily functions is that when we do good things, when we're feeling connected. When we're having healthy positive relationships, when we're sleeping right, when we're feeling positive for positive reasons then our body will produce serotonin and dopamine oxytocin like all these feel-good chemicals that our bodies require for us to relax and sleep well and to love They actually get suppressed by high cortisol levels. So the chemicals of happiness and motivation diminish whilst these high stressor chemicals proliferate, they surge through our body so

10:29 It's no wonder that we struggle. It's like having your phone on 1% and then thinking you can go out and make a video, edit it, publish it, stream it, do all sorts of cool stuff. It's like having a boat that you expect to function beautifully and get you to the destination you're headed but its got a hole in it and only just chugs along! Its not going to work out so we have to address what is going on. So for me Realizing all this came a bit too late. My rock bottom after the breakup, after my brother had died, after the four years of struggle, the rock bottom moment came when there was nothing left. It was my rebuild that had me realize that the actions I was taking were actually what

11:22 Jonnie Jensen I didn't realise that I was already on my knees before my brother's death finally took me out. But it was as I started to put myself back together, when all the toxic elements were removed by circumstance

12:01 And what I was left with was, I know what i'm going to start doing. I'm going to start doing the basics. I'm gonna sleep right, I'm gonna eat right, I'm gonna get to the gym. I'm naturally going to start calling friends and seeing family more often. I'm going to focus my time with my children on having fun and adventure and real quality time The things I was reading, alone therapy and the antidepressants. But this is like a holistic approach that was free of the bullshit, free of the stresses so whilst the stress chemicals were going down, the positive ones were coming up and that's the point i'm illustrating here. That is the rebuild, that's the recovery zone okay? And it has been doing that

12:55 Realize the structure that I put in place was actually a blueprint for all of us combined with the 20 previous years of personal study and coaching and leadership, and everything that I'd learned along that way. But actually then doing it for myself as like, Oh, this actually works then! What's they say? To know but not to do is not to know, right. So it really was that for me. It's the psychology of the high value man principles of having the clarity and vision in your life and then going after it. That's where fulfillment is found. And actually fulfillment is turbocharged by dopamine

13:35 The experience, the feel-good factor of fulfillment is partly driven by dopamine. Dopamine comes in our body from consistent wins, from completion, from progress, from knowing that we set out to do something and did it. It's like that feeling of getting to the end of the day and completing a task and sitting back and feeling good about it Gaming companies and gambling casinos, they thrive off this little human quirk of ours. TikTok is obviously a classic one because kids are getting that quick short hit of entertainment. It feels good but you can generate that and trigger that for yourself by structuring your life around small consistent wins your habits and routines having a goal that you're working towards and knowing that you're actively achieving it

14:28 So in the area of your body, your focus, your health sleep diet. Maintaining a positive existence for yourself there is going to naturally lead you to feeling better sleeping enough not drinking all the time or sniffing, really ever pretty much for that but if you're smoking weed and things are gonna have you feeling groggy yourself put those little bits one side. Your morning workouts Journaling, meditation. Positive practices drinking enough water hydrating eating good food these are all things that are going to leave you with a feel-good factor for yourself seeing yourself as a man who's creating his life Serotonin is stability and confidence right? You get this from feeling proud of yourself from good sleep from getting outdoors from vitamin D

15:32 From gratitude and connection. These are like the basics of the love and support, partly also induced by your mindset. Oxytocin you commonly get talk about oxytocin when you're at NCT classes and you're talking about what can we do here to bring on birth right? But they come from touch from laughter from being around friends and family from intimacy That's why the people that you spend time with, the positive energy in your relationship is absolutely vital. Completely the opposite of the rejection you feel during an inner broken relationship The stress and drama that comes from arguments and constant disputes with your missus

16:21 And then endorphins, energy and euphoria. Things that you feel from having fun from following your hobbies and passions from getting out and playing a game of tennis or everyone's playing paddle these days. From joining parkrun and completing it like that sense of accomplishment laughter dancing throwing yourself in cold water like what does it take to get out of your comfort zone? To wake your body up This is where you generate the energy and euphoria that endorphins are generated by. So, you can see that if you're living a shitty life at home then none of these things are going to be happening when you actually structure yourself when you actually address the problems that are going on

17:09 You have the opportunity to address the burnout that you're experiencing. Another aspect of why this is so important, and certainly something I did was that I thought it was my work that was causing the burnout. I had it completely upside down It was the stress at home that was making work almost impossible If I would have addressed the burnout, the stress, the drama, the tension at home then my work would have been a lot easier. My performance would have gone significantly up. My ability to manage my team and to generate leads, to close sales all would've improved had I addressed what was going on at home properly first and foremost in that situation had i made sure that I was still thriving at home That I was looking after myself

17:55 So that I could then address all the other stuff. You know, the Fire Code fundamentally the High Value Man System for Living as it is which is a 3xE formula in the Fire Code. It's about putting a structure in your life where you know what you're going after, you're actively moving towards it, removing the toxic stress and drama from your life that's caused by not having the conversations that matter, no standing up for what you believe in or what you strive for or holding people to account when they cross your boundaries That is where you set the scene for you then to execute the habits and routines that are going to create a life that you desire. The day-to-day positive routines are gonna give you the results that you want because when you start showing up like that, little bit of adrenaline every now and again is gonna be a good thing!

18:52 Because that's the balance. That's where you perform at your highest level and then you go back to the other area, the other feel good stuff that gives you the balance that has you fall asleep at night and say yes I'm absolutely winning here in life! Where are you at in your levels of stress and drama? One of the questions in the dad check-in when we bring new men into the High Value Man project is how much stress and drama do you have at home? How much stress and drama do you have at work? And that ranges from a hell of a lot, it's unbearable through to totally handled not really very much. Where are you on that scale in terms of your ability to sleep well, in terms of your connectiveness to the people around you

19:44 In terms of the amount of peace and harmony and satisfaction you feel in your life, if these feel out of reach like there's nothing you can do to generate those things then you're likely going to be in a state of burnout. If this has been for a prolonged period of time, you're probably not just gonna fix it on your own might even need to go see your doctor just as I did You can't give from empty right? You can't pour from an empty cup so no amount of trying to be the man you want to be from a foundation of burnout is gonna work Bring yourself over to the High Value Man Project. We have got a range of free resources in there, which will start you on the process to creating the structure and harmony you want in your life

20:31 And then there's the invitation to come and join The Inner Circle and the accelerated work that we do together, or even in Elite One-on-One. If you go to the highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group that will get you in at the free level or whatever uh...that currently is free at the moment on The Founders Rate as the group fills up then it will likely be some some level of nominal fee. So get yourself in there now whilst you absolutely can! Thank you for listening. I appreciate you massively, share this with other men in your life leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. I think i'm pushing harder for spotify to be honest. I would love to see the reviews going up on there. You can share really easily from from Spotify just by clicking that little arrow thing and passing it onto your friends whether that's through WhatsApp or Facebook whatever is your social media channel of preference

21:24 Until next week, I look forward to seeing you inside the High Value Man Project and finding out exactly what your experience of home life has been and how you put structure in place to show up as the man that you want to be. Let's go! Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow dads! Creating the life you deserve starts with YOU. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go