Episode 113: Could your words be harming your productivity?

00:07 Welcome to Unfrazzle, a podcast for solo business owners with a big vision who are ready for a kinder more sustainable approach to productivity. I'm Louise Miller and each week i share bite-sized insights to help you step away from the hustle stop faffing and stay focused so you can make your brilliant ideas happen and make a bigger impact in the world Before we dive into today's episode, if you enjoy what I'm sharing here on Unfrazzle and you'd like to support the podcast. You can buy me a cuppa by going to BuyMeACoffee.com slash Louise Miller and making a one-off donation. I'll pop a link to that in the show notes. Okay grab yourself a cuppa and let's get started! I write lists but never follow through i always leave everything to the last minute i find it impossible to prioritize The more you say things like that the truer they become

01:01 It's how we're wired, right? So Tom my husband Tom is convinced that there is always a car coming over the brow of the hill ahead of us when he wants to turn right into our street. There isn't but he only notices when there is Why? Well, because of confirmation bias which might be something you've heard of before. So if you believe that there's always a car coming over the hill your brain wants to prove you right so that is what you'll notice You won't clock all the times that there isn't a car coming. So going back to those stories you might be telling yourself about how rubbish you are If you keep saying that you never follow through your brain will filter out all of the times that you do follow through and will keep showing you examples when you don't

01:43 Keeping you stuck in that belief. Another thing that plays into all of this is that your subconscious is always eavesdropping, looking for ways to keep you safe. So when you say I always leave everything to the last minute your subconscious will think that it's helping by making that true keeping you stuck in that pattern of behavior because it's trying to protect you by following the instruction you're giving it that you are the sort of person who leaves things to the last minute so if you believe that about yourself if you're making that part of your identity Subconsciously, you will keep reinforcing that belief. Does that make sense? So what can we do about it? It's actually pretty simple and it's one of the things I love the most about NLP neuro-linguistic programming. I am an NLP practitioner so I love all of this stuff but if language can keep us stuck in old patterns... ...it can also help us create new ones right?! And a really great place to start with that is by noticing and acknowledging the times you prove those old patterns wrong

02:43 So notice the times when you do, do the thing that you're telling yourself you can't do. Let me give a quick example In a Make It Happen Club planning session recently someone messaged me in chat saying she writes lists and never follows through And I gently challenged her on that, saying i'm sure there must have been times when she has written a list and she has followed through. I don't believe that she's never in her life done the things that she's written on a list whether that's a shopping list, a list of errands or a daily to-do list if you stop to think about it i'm pretty sure she could find some examples of times she has done the things she wrote on a list but because she keeps telling herself that she doesn't...she keeps telling herself she writes lists and never follows through....that is all she's seeing

03:26 So if she made a point of paying closer attention to the times when she does follow through with the list she's written, she'd have evidence that she can follow through and her belief that she can't will start to fade. And as our beliefs shape our behaviours it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy where she finds herself following through more than she was before because their subconscious will now be starting to think Actually, I can write a list and follow through. And then the conscious mind will catch up with that and start taking action that aligns with that new way of looking at things. So I hope that makes sense. I know that I'm rattling through this quite quickly. Maybe I'll do another episode around all of this sometime but

04:02 There's another important factor in all of this that relates to advances in neuroscience and what we now know about neuroplasticity. So the more you tell yourself that you can't do something, the stronger that neural pathway on your brain becomes and scientists used to think that those pathways were set in stone but we now know that through neuroplasticity it is possible to rewire our brains So when you start paying attention to the times you do tick things off a list, or when you celebrate the fact that you didn't leave something till the last minute. You strengthen a new neural pathway one that's empowering and really helpful to future you and the old unhelpful pathway that's keeping you stuck will eventually fade and wither away

04:45 So now every time we're driving home and there isn't a car coming over the brow of the hill, I yell look no car at Tom right proving my point that the story he's telling isn't true. And yes I am so much fun to be married too but I'm telling you all this because the language that we use matters and the stories we tell shape our beliefs in our behaviors whether we like it or not. So what story do you want to tell yourself? Now I'm not suggesting that you start telling yourself stories that are clearly not true. Your brain has a pretty good BS detector, but there are subtle changes you can make that will help you set yourself up for success. So for example instead of telling yourself i write lists but never follow through how about changing that to i write lists and i'm getting better at following through? And instead of saying i always leave everything to the last minute how about i get things done by the deadline and i would love to give myself more time

05:41 Instead of I find it impossible to prioritize, how about I'm improving my ability to prioritize? So I know this might feel awkward and clunky and seem a bit silly at first, but when you start framing things in a more positive way your brain will get to work proving those new stories true. Your subconscious will be working for you helping you shape the reality that you want rather than keeping you stuck in your old patterns so I'm really fascinated by the way that our minds work and I actually find it freeing to remember that we're storytelling machines and we get to choose which stories we tell ourselves So given a choice between a story that makes you feel rubbish and one that lifts you up, which would you choose? I'd love to invite you to pay attention to the language you're using with yourself over the next few days and just see what changes you can make that will empower you and inspire confidence. It's a small thing but over time it can make a really big difference! And if the idea of neuroplasticity is new to you i'm going to pop a link to a video that shows how it works in the show notes but as always I hope this helps and look forward to seeing you again soon

06:47 Thank you for listening to Unfrazzle. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who needs a dose of calm productivity in their life and I'd love it if you could leave me a rating and review as that will help more people discover this podcast. If you would like to hear more from me to help stop faffing and take back control of your time, you'll find the link to join my mailing list in the show notes and I would really love for you to join us! So thanks so much for your support and I look forward to seeing you next time