Episode 36: 3 things I know to be true from 59 years on this planet

00:54 You're listening to The Business of Stories with Susan Peyton, showing you how to share stories that do the selling in your business so you don't have to. On the day this podcast goes out I will be 59 years and 2 days old! It was my birthday on 27th April which means I've been alive for 21,537 days That's a lot of days and events and conversations, decisions and friendships. And laughs and moments I'll never forget not because they've all been perfect far from it but because i got to experience them and feel them and learn from them and be shaped by them so i thought i'd do a birthday episode where i talk you through three things i've learned are to be true

01:56 From my 59 years on this planet. 59 years of getting things right and getting things wrong, being honest about all of it even the stuff that felt scary or a bit vulnerable to share learning from others and figuring it out as best I can as I go Trying not to beat myself up for the stumbles and mishaps and mistakes, of which I've made many. And of course, I've learnt way more than three things but these are the ones that I wanted to share with you today as I celebrate my birthday reflect on the journey and acknowledge that I'm still figuring it all out one day at a time

02:43 So the three things I'm going to share with you are true for life and business because, for me and i know this will be true for a lot of you they are massively intertwined. And running a business is the best self-development course you'll ever do. As long as you have a business, you'll always be learning and growing and getting out of your comfort zone and stretching yourself and seeing what you're capable of and learning more and more about yourself. That's all part of the journey right? It's an exciting part!

03:19 But it also means that we can feel a bit vulnerable at times, a bit unsure of ourselves. We can doubt ourselves second-guess ourselves and start worrying about what other people think So the first thing I want to share with you that i know to be true is this People aren't judging you or watching you or even thinking about you anywhere near as much as you think they are They're far too wrapped up with what's happening in their own life or their own business, what's going on for them. How THEIR story is unfolding and worrying about who's judging them!

04:00 And yet I see so many people holding back and not showing up the way they want to because they're worried what others will think. They worry that they're sharing too much or showing up too much, or coming across as salesy, or getting it wrong, or being too much, or not being enough, or that they'll get ignored, or say something that doesn't land, or put out an offer that doesn't sell Or any number of things that we tell ourselves is so scary, that we'd rather not put ourselves out there at all. Which is SO sad! Because after 59 years on this planet I can tell you it's not true People are NOT watching your every move

04:46 They're not reading all your posts. They don't have a strong opinion about you, maybe they don't have any opinion about you? Honestly most people really don't care what you are doing! I used to worry about all that stuff too especially in the early days of my business when i first started putting myself out there and talking about what i do so i absolutely get it but honestly no one cares they've got other things to worry about their They're dealing with their own stuff. And yes, you might get the occasional negative comment from a stranger or even have someone you know tell you that they wouldn't have shared that... Or YOU shouldn't have shared it! But… You know what I always tell myself? People do what they've got to do. Just let them. And I know that's hard sometimes so here is something my mentor said to me many years ago when I was training in Advanced NLP

05:41 And I was telling him about somebody that was really getting under my skin. And he said, I get that but can you forgive them for not being the person YOU think they should be? And wow! That really landed with me. Can you forgive them for not being the person YOU think they should be?! That completely shifted my thinking That gave me a totally different perspective and it made me realise that yes, they were behaving in a way that was different to how I would behave and that behaviour was unacceptable to me. But that's okay! I can let them be them. They can do them. And I don't have to have feelings about that. I don't have to try and change them

06:33 I can just acknowledge to myself that they're not the person I think they should be and that's okay. And actually this leads to number two, the second thing i know to be true which is that the person who will judge you the most...is YOU! You are your biggest critic. You talk to yourself in a way that no one else who cared about you would, and most of what you tell yourself about yourself isn't true! You see the negatives. You spot every flaw. You strive for perfection even though you know it's not possible and then beat yourself up when you don't achieve it. You overthink what you've said or posted

07:20 You compare yourself to others in a way that's not fair and not true. You tell yourself you're not smart enough or thin enough, young enough, creative enough, successful enough...or good enough! And yet, if you took the time to look – really look – you'd see that you've had the most incredible, inspiring journey to here. You have overcome 100% of the challenges you have faced to date. You've shown resilience, strength, tenacity

07:58 You've dealt with the blows. You've dodged the curveballs, or if you haven't dodged them and they knocked you over – you got back up! You've navigated the hard bits… And you're still showing up. You are still here wanting to help people, wanting to make a difference, shining your light. So even though this is my birthday episode I want to celebrate YOU and I want YOU to celebrate YOU I want you to give me some words that describe you. I did this in a talk, I did this week about owning your story because the first step of owning your story is taking ownership of who you are what you bring to the world Your essence, your energy The kind sensitive ambitious adventurous

08:54 Introverted, extroverted, passionate powerful human you are. And everything you've learned from the stuff you've been through and the way you got through it! So take a moment to think about how far you've come... How much you've done and what an incredible special beautiful person that you are So yeah, give me some words to describe you. Don't hold back! Say them out loud if you can. Hit pause if you need too but stop the judging Stop seeing the negatives Stop focusing on what your not and celebrate who you are Embrace it Feel it Acknowledge it Recognise it And appreciate all of these amazing gifts

09:42 that you bring to your work, to your clients and to the world. Because if you can do that and if you stop judging yourself... And if you start seeing that you have so much to offer So many lives you can touch! So many people who need to hear what YOU have to say Then I promise You will start to worry less about what other people think And focus more on how you can get out there and show up honestly with all your imperfections so you can reach more people, shine your light more brightly and make even more of an impact. You're not here to play small or hide away or worry about being judged. You're here to be fully unapologetically YOU!

10:35 A bright star, a guiding light. A beautiful human. And number three... The third thing I know to be true after my 59 years on this planet is that you can reframe most things to help you win at life! A reframe can change everything and this isn't about having to be happy all the time or that you should always be positive But there's always another way to look at things. And sometimes that's all you need, to see something from a different angle, to see another perspective, to come at it differently... That thing you think is a weakness could be your strength! That bad experience could be fuel! That rejection might have been the universe having something much better lined up for you

11:34 I have so many examples of times that a reframe changed my outlook and the way I was showing up, and ultimately the way my story played out. That mentor that I talked about asking me if I could forgive someone for not being the person I thought they should be? That was a reframe right?! It actually allowed me to completely let go of the resentment and anger I was carrying around It didn't mean I had to reconnect with them or spend any time with them. It's not about them at all, or what they'd done… it was just seeing that they're different to me – They're Them! They are just doing THEM their way and thats okay...I don't have to keep having feelings about what happened.. I can let that go

12:31 Another powerful reframe for me was about money. Which is funny because if you'd asked me before the refrain how I felt about money, I would have told you that I love it! And my business was doing well. I made 100k in revenue so I was doing something right But I started working with a mindset coach because I also knew that something wasn't right and that whenever I got close to going past that figure, something happened. The tech would fail or my emails would get stuck in cyberspace or Facebook wouldn't let me go live or all the comments would disappear from my posts or i'd get poorly every single time something would get in the way and stop me

13:23 And someone asked me if I might be unwittingly sabotaging my success. So, I went to work with a mindset coach and turns out...I was! And that I had some weird money stories running in my head deep down in my subconscious. I had associated money with words like manipulative ruthless arrogant Or even vulgar, which actually came as a massive shock to me. I had no idea where that had come from until i realized that I'd picked up something in my childhood about successful confident people being flashy and shallow and cocky... And who wants to be thought of as any of those things right? No one!

14:20 So there was the thing that was holding me back. There was the thing that was getting in the way and realising that meant I could completely reframe that narrative, I was telling myself I That you can be the highly sensitive, compassionate caring person that you are and be successful because of the work that you do and the people that you help. In fact, the more successful you are, the more people you reach and the more good you can do, the bigger difference you can make! And as soon I reframed that in my own head everything changed, everything flowed, everything felt so much easier

15:27 I'm more aligned and had my best launch to date shortly afterwards. So that reframe was a powerful shift for me, where always try to look at the things that aren't making me feel good, that aren't helping me live my life the way i want to live it and see how I can reframe it to give myself the best opportunity to win at life So, those are the three things that I know to be true from my 59 years of living on this planet. Number one people aren't judging you and if they are that's just them doing what they gotta do! You can forgive them for not being the person you think they should be. Number two you're probably your own worst critic but you can change that right now

16:20 By starting to acknowledge all the things about you that are awesome and inspiring. And there will be loads! And three, You can reframe most things To win at life. And this time next year I will be 60 Am i looking forward to leaving my 50s behind? No...I've loved them but will I celebrate anyway and embrace my 60's and squeeze every drop out of them yes I will So, as always before I go let me give you a quick action step that you can go away and do. Here's your action step for today Write a post about the things that YOU know to be true It could be 3 things or 5 things or 10 things it can be personal things or business things And it doesn't have to be your birthday to do it You can do at any time

17:18 So that's your action step for today. Write a post about things you know to be true and share it! And I'll see you next time, for more stories that do the selling FOR YOU so you don't have too. Thank you so much for being here. I love that we get to do this together! Would you do me a huge favour and please rate, review and follow this podcast in Apple Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts? And i'll see you next time for more honest conversations meaningful connections and of course stories