Why your values and strengths are your SUPER POWERS

00:02 Welcome in this episode of the Team Superdad podcast. Why your values and strengths are your superpowers, and if you're not using them then it is really going to be a struggle! Welcome on board let's roll theme. Welcome to team Super Dad real dads creating their best lives ever more time more money more fun You are not alone. You're on Team SuperDad Hello gang, welcome back. All the dads in the Team Superdad crew and to dads around the world whether you've been a dad working on being a dad or right in the heat of it... You are welcome here! Team Superdad we are a community of motivated business-owning dads around the world helping you live with clarity and confidence so you can be the man and dad you want to be

01:02 And just not feel so stuck and struggling all the time. This series of podcasts, we're going through the Team Superdad power code methodology and we're in P for purpose right now. You join me lunchtime on a Monday... So technically Tuesday! Even worse! Technically we missed the weekend My boy had an operation on his hand and whilst that is kind of an excuse, it did priorities. You gotta have priorities! And yes getting this podcast done every week, getting out at the weekend... That was my priority but my boy beats that

01:46 The, the, uh, we were in the hospital and I was talking to the nurse and she's she was like oh i think i recognize his name. And the funny thing is we've been in that hospital so many times over the years some people never go into hospital in their life other people seem to be there all the time my boy's not even a hypochondriac we are definitely a family that leans into not being ill My dad pretty much made being ill illegal when we were kids. He won't be tired if you were ill! That has stuck with me, thankfully whether that's an internal power a blessing or just indicative of having quite healthy lifestyle probably all three I don't really get that ill If I get bloody bowel cancer or prostate cancer or something like that heart attack it will

02:44 Disappointing to say the least, but that's another whole subject for another time. The P in Power Code is for purpose and this third part of it is about identifying your values and strengths so you actually live with those when you're not Let's say you're focused on work that is not utilizing all your strengths and skills. If you're in a relationship or you are in a situation, I don't know whatever that could be friends, it could be work, it could be your home and neighbours like when you are being asked to operate in a way that counter to your values like pulling against your values then also will be an incredible struggle

03:27 The thing about your values and strengths are, much like the old adage of boiling frogs not realizing they're being boiled alive. Basically apparently this is not actually true but it's often used at conferences and stuff if you put a frog in a pan of boiling water it will jump out like oh that's hot! And it'll jump out... If you put it in a pan and heat the water then it won't really notice and it will slowly be boiled to death which isn't that nice in itself But I guess as an example, it's relatively safe unless you've got a bunch of animal rights people in the audience. But it happens to us as well when we are unaware of a friction or something that we're pushing against the tide or we're working against what our intuitive values and our core strengths then it will get harder

04:24 And then over time, you know because we're not aware of actually what's causing that. We just experience life as tough or getting up and going into work is tough or dealing with another bloody client or losing another pitch or coming home to a mess are arguing with your wife like going to bed on around. Sex life decreasing, the amount of fun you're having with your friends decreasing. Slowly but surely you're just wondering where did it all go wrong? And when you go back and unpickle this, you start to find as we've spoken about in the other two elements of purpose not being really clear on who is you are or what it is that you're doing on this planet, on this journey around the sun

05:11 Then moving into this subject of if you've, oh yeah fulfillment. Working at fulfillment comes from having a clear goal and ambition and the direction you're headed in and doing work living your life in a way that is taking you towards that. That is where you find fulfillment And your skills and strengths, your values and strengths value skills strength all of that are part of it We work with a tool I created called the Superpower Matrix and everything in Team Superdad is about unleashing that power from within you. Too many men are walking around half asleep, unhappy or at the very least not achieving their dreams and their full potential which has them struggle and suffer and not be the best version of themselves

06:10 That is the essence of stepping up, being the man you want to be in your family and in your community and in your business. And really living the life that you were given the opportunity to live so your skills and strengths why would you want to do something that is fundamentally not a core strength of yours or why would you want to do something Fundamentally against one of your core values. Let's say on a basic level you were being asked to lie about something or you were doing something that was underhand and one of your core strength, sorry, one of your core values was trust and family and teamwork well it wouldn't really matter if one day you did something or said something oh yeah we're gonna be late because... Because we've got to go and do some other job and who knows maybe there was a different reason? So that's like a little lie

07:01 But if it was fundamentally bigger than that, like it impacted the whole structure of your work and your business from you know over an extended period of time then that will eat away at you. So how do we address that? Well ironically enough not enough people have got any idea about what their values are and they don't focus enough on what their skills are So if you're watching, welcome on board. You can comment because we're live on pretty much all the socials be good to see you I can see those comments and they're coming in and if you're watching on the replay excuse me what's on the replay of course you could still comment and I'll pick them up and if you're on the podcast yes! The original crew, the podcast subscribers thank you just share this feel free to leave us a review

07:52 If you like anything we're doing or talking about inside of this conversation today, you can go to TeamSuperDad.com send me a message. You can join the group teamsuperdad.com forward slash group basically or you can comment power and I will get over get you in particular the superpower matrix which we're talking about today. We can talk about how you can be part of the Team Super Dad program So the superpower matrix, let's change the picture here. This is I'm gonna have to describe this for those people on on the podcast but the super power matrix is four boxes so you could take a piece of A4 paper or if your comment power I'll send you this template You take your piece of paper and you put four boxes in each corner Or one in each corner and in the middle you put a fifth box which is your values

08:43 So you start on your values and there's a whole exercise attached to this around identifying your values but a couple of interesting ways you can identify values is if you look at If you look at the news, or you look at current affairs. if you look at what people are talking about on social media and start to notice where you either are outraged by things or where you empathize with things or where you feel compelled to comment or relate to somebody to offer your encouragement You'll be able see inside of that ah! That injustice is something that irates me so whats the opposite of that injustice? Well we talked about before

09:24 Trust, integrity, honesty teamwork. You know these could be your values family love there's a lot of emotive values in and around that and for me in the way that I have grown up in the way of my work both in my career and in my businesses are now in this business in coaching dads around the world um A lot of my values are around Determination and commitment and making it happen. One of my coaches would scream at me, you can die at the finish line! So there's a value of striving forward being your best so that doesn't have to just be one word. A value can be something that you... An expression or phrase that you say these are values that define you

10:20 And listen, you can go to whole weekends on working out your values. But if you sit down with a piece of paper, it'll be quite easy to notice what's important to you and equally what... If something really rubs up the wrong way then quite likely the opposite that will be a core value. Then moving into the four boxes we have got, it doesn't really matter what order they come in but we've got commitments, we've got passions, we've got skills and strengths And then we've got weakness and struggle or weakness and suffering. Now starting with that last one, it's important that you are just as conscious of what you don't like doing or what you find hard work. You know for me a strength of mine is

11:09 Project initiation, like kicking off projects ideas motivating a group of people towards towards the goal. What is a weakness of mine is like completing a project? When you get down into the minutiae of it and the granular parts of a project execution, it becomes a lot harder for me. And so you could view that as a weakness like oh my god this is terrible or you could really focus on the strength and say I need to do more of that! And I need to bring someone on board or work alongside someone whose core strength is that delivery part, is that execution part

11:47 The only weakness really in that exercise is when you notice you've been focusing too much on trying to be good at something, you're fundamentally bad at. Why spend all your time and energy trying to get good at something it's not a core skill or not something you don't even enjoy doing? So by putting your weaknesses and sufferings and struggles in that top box, It will give you an indication of things that you don't want to do more of George McGarren A valued occasional mentor of mine I met in the podcast and he stressed to me the importance of creating that team. The book that i shared recently, Who Not How again highlights the importance of having being with the right people to get the job done. Moving on to more positive sides of it are your commitments now your commitments

12:42 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Be clear on what your commitments are. If you've got a mortgage, things that no matter what you're up to, you are committed to. Then your passions... Your passions or hobbies. Your passion is something you love doing, something that you would choose to do above all else when given the choice

13:35 Now could you have a commitment that's also a passion? Well yeah of course, you're... You know you could be passionate about being a parent and there are different levels of parents. People have said to me in the past I don't know i couldn't The Jonnie Jensen Show, 95% of the time love doing so it's okay to have a commitment. It's also our passion, a passion is also a commitment but again being clear about what your passions are to ensure that you're doing them that you're making them a consistent part of your life and ideally making them a real core part of who you are and what you do because when you know who you are, you know what direction

14:41 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen I consider communication and being able to empathize with people a strength of mine. Is it a skill that i've adapted and evolved? Well certainly, but it starts off as a strength. Maths is not a strength of mine! I could practice and learn and get us and try to be as skilled as possible in that area but it fundamentally isn't a strength so it's never really going to be a skill okay

15:39 You can save yourself so much time, stress and energy by focusing on what you're good at and what you love doing. And then in those areas where it's not a weakness or it's not something you enjoy doing of course you want to go and actually get a who? Bring someone in who is going to be that person that does that for you The number of men I work with When we go through this exercise, it becomes so glaringly obvious that they're spending too much time doing things that are not a core strength and not a passion. And that's something they fundamentally hate doing! So guess what? When they are looking at the week ahead when they're getting up in the morning venturing into work... The idea that they're going to do a whole lot of stuff that they don't enjoy doing is shocking!! It's no wonder

16:37 You end up being frustrated and resentful. You're not operating at your best level, you don't have a clarity, not being creative in your thoughts, you're not energized let alone what those kind of words would mean if you brought them to a relationship if you're that kind of person going into a social situation and then worse than that on top what will commonly happen is that we'll look for distractions that will stop us thinking about those things that we don't like doing alcohol drugs porn The Jonnie Jensen Show,

17:18 But when you're using them as a distraction, when you're using them as a way to cover up and avoid doing something you're going to do then it's gonna fester. It's gonna rot you from the inside out and that's when you find too many men stuck doing what they don't enjoy not getting the results they want and wondering where on earth it all went wrong? It sounds pretty simple and obviously there's no magic wand! You can't click flick the switch and change this overnight but Hello Mark, good to see you. What's the question here from Mark? We can bring this in look there we go but defining your weaknesses with real honesty is a difficult task Jonnie do you have advice about approaching that I preach about positivity it was interesting to hear your advice um thank you mark weaknesses some of the people around us the people who love us most uh just because they don't tell us our weaknesses on a regular basis they probably see them

18:18 Or they're willing to see them much more honestly than we are. So, you know I think it's appropriate in that first run at this to try and be honest with yourself about where your weaknesses are and that's why it also says in the down low weaknesses and struggle or weaknesses and suffering You might not be able to admit to areas that are weaknesses but you can if you're honest with yourself, go wow I really struggle when i do that or I don't sit down to do that task with any enthusiasm or real energy around it. Or I've been doing that for so long it's driving me mental um So you could look in the area of suffering for things that are fundamentally not a core strength or passion and like I said before

19:08 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen One of your children, you know an old friend who's known you forever. Someone you've only just met recently it could be someone you completed a project with You really want to create a safe space for them though is to say this is what I'm doing It's pretty cool actually I'm working on my core strengths and values part of it is identifying some of my weaknesses so as weird as this is I wonder if you can spot in me some things that I'm not that great at or you know... And so people were like

19:45 They'll check first. They might say something positive before going into two or three weaknesses and of course that's okay but you want to create that space for them to actually say that, and then when you've asked a bunch of people and you've got your list as well look for the patterns because this isn't about rubbishing you this is about it literally is an audit so if there are some common trends then you can start to group them and put them together Fundamental to this, and thanks so much for that question Mark. Fundamental to this is it's not about running yourself down right? This isn't an opportunity to step up too many of the conversations I have inside my work inside Team Superdad and The Hero Academy people take it as blame or fault or a failure guys we've got to give that up! The breakthrough comes from recognizing that we're just here

20:44 The Jonnie Jensen Show, You know, in the world we live in today there's never been so much scope and opportunity to upskill and to progress. And just because we can't do it overnight doesn't mean that this is not a valid thing to do, not a valid exercise to do. If I said to you the life of your dreams like you're fulfilling your potential and living... living your best self

21:28 Would that be worth it? Yes. Okay, but it's going to be a year's time would still be worth it? Of course it would be! What am I today 48 and a half have I got 30 years 40 years more 20 with the with energy and vigor of course you want to strive and pursue the life that really lifts you up A friend, a mentor or business partner advisor. Penny Power once in a great conversation to it to a room full of people spoke about this idea of working in your flame and it really is that like if you look at them on top of the candle

22:14 It's where the flame is, it's where the heat is. It's where the energy is, it's where the beauty is in that candle. You know why would you go to the opposite side of the room and try and do something in the dark? This is about the essence of you! And when you come home The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen

22:54 If you comment or message me, power comment power and I'll get you over that super dad matrix. You can have that template to go along with this chat. And of course, if anything we're talking about here in this series where we're going through the power code is of interest and you want to find out more about going through the power code being part of The Hero Academy then simply get in touch. Message me, comment Power and we'll have a conversation about getting you in the next intake of The Hero Academy Guys, absolutely brilliant to have you on board. Mark once again thanks for your questions. Feel free to come on over to the Superdad group on Facebook if you go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group that will get you in there until next time thanks for tuning in Team Superdad out!

23:44 This has been Team Superdad. Find us at teamsuperdad.com Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children! You are not alone, you're on Team Superdad