Who Your Are Being Decides Everything

00:01 Welcome! Who you are being changes everything. And if you're not aware of who you've been, then this episode of the Team Superdad podcast is for you. Roll theme. Welcome to team super dad real dads creating their best lives ever more time more money more fun You are not alone. You're on team Super Dad Welcome everybody, it's great to have you here. Yes we're back! Team Stupid Dad if you are a man...a dad You could even be an uncle or grandad it's absolutely fine and if you're a mum you're also welcome as well

00:49 This is about creating strong families, about men living the life they desire not a life they feel stuck in. That is the Team Superdad ethos if you're on the live then give us a hello or comment on all the socials and we'll be able to do that! If you're watching a replay of course give us a hashtag replay will tickle the algorithm there but also it gives me a chance to see who's watching and if you're watching on the podcast You're not going to be watching the podcast. If you're listening on the podcast, please always...you are my favorites! The long-standing loyal listeners This is like year three, season four. We might even be year four of the Team Supergad podcast! We've been getting an episode out each week since January 1st and following in this first half of 2023 the power code my methodology for

01:45 Strong, confident men to create the life they desire. And it's about really business-owning men most of my clients are business owning men and it's about them creating the success that they have at work in their home life and in their personal life Really rather than feeling burnt out and giving everything They've got for their work and their family but to take back some of that control put the focus on themselves Put the focus on yourself The Jonnie Jensen Show,

02:33 That, you know couldn't really function maybe not surprisingly but that was the end. But it was also the start of my rebuild and the start of Team Superdad and bringing us here today It's nearly spring I keep hoping and praying that the sun is going to come out constantly because i am done with the cold! I don't know where you are in the world but let me know let me know in the comments where are you tuning in from today It will be good to know. I know we have a lot of members in the Superdad Club from America as well as the UK For anybody who's watching closely on the video, you might notice my right eyebrow...I was having a bit of a shave down today trimming everything up and I've done a bit of a whoopsie on the right eyebrow

03:27 I don't even know how but i managed to carve like half the eyebrow out and think the only way i'm going to be able to fix it is to pretty much shave the whole eyebrow off. So, i'm not sure let me know in the comments am i gonna let it grow back like it is or am i gonna shave the whole thing off because it's gonna look a little bit less ridiculous? That does dovetail beautifully into today's topic. Who you are being determines everything, who you are being changes everything it decides everything it's one of the most powerful questions any of us can ask ourselves to have that level of self-awareness so that we become conscious conscious of literally who we're being in every moment It is powerful

04:22 And the crazy thing is it's just as powerful when you realize it, as when you don't realize it. Of course they are at opposite ends of the spectrum! When you don't realize it, you can bring absolute carnage to yourself and to the environment around you...and not all time of course but the opposite of that is when you are totally connected to who your being then you have choice You have the ability to influence every situation and that could be your own confidence, your home...your own freedom in any given moment. But it could also be the experience of others around you. If you wake up in the morning one of the expressions I struggle with the most is I'm not a morning person okay? I'm not a morning person so people who say that

05:13 Generally, are really grumpy and moody and generally shit to be around in the morning. Now I don't know about you but I struggle with that because now I realize some people might like a bit more space in the morning but to choose to be away That gives you the apparent right or freedom to be an absolute arse to everybody is bollocks in my opinion. Nothing gives you the right to wake up and be grumpy with everybody around you just because YOU decide, YOU choose

05:51 That you're not a morning person. So your way of being is I'm not a morning person so if you, if I say right here and right now I'm not a morning person how do you hear that? What are the ways of being that you associate with someone who says I'm not a morning person Right they're gonna be probably grumpy They're going to be moody They might be quite abrupt Rude Unaffectionate Maybe in uncompassionate like lacking in compassion I can't really think of anything positive about the expression, I'm not a morning person. Right? So that's a really strong example for me of about way of being now. Now, I didn't really know much about this until I was 32. I did the Landmark Forum it wasn't the first thing I'd done on my personal development and coaching journey but it was probably the most powerful up until that moment

06:55 Prior to that, I kind of felt like life just happened. Who i was was who i was and that was fine some days it would be good some days it would be bad when it was bad it wasn't fair It was happening to me and when it was good yes brilliant! I hope it will carry on tomorrow. I don't know if it's going to carry on tomorrow but I hope it's gonna carry on tomorrow So there is a lot The

07:43 Sinister than that, but we'll get on to that in a moment. Looking at it in a more positive way or trying to relate this to you in real life circumstances just like the I'm not a morning person You might have been at a party Or you might be aware of a particular character of person who when they enter a room when they show up at a party It's like wow Who? Who just arrived what's going on The energy, the temperature just cranked up a little bit in here because of their arrival. That more often than not will be someone who's very tuned into their way of being like when I show up I show up like this and it has this result

08:30 In and around Team Superdad, and the Power Code process. This is what we're creating for the men in Team Superdad. This is about the life that you want to lead where that you do enter a situation with energy with power right? And not power like I'm-in-charge kind of power but just a force like a who's that! I want to be around that person for our partner, for our kids, in our work this When you start to understand this, right and it really is something first of all to understand but then second of all to be able to play with. Then you create this whole new level of freedom going into any situation now

09:16 During, I mentioned before about those tough time you know my brother and that real loss of power after that time. Who i was being right because even if you know this sometimes there can be stuff going on in your life and your circumstances where even though you know something you don't have a good handle on it Around my brother's death, around my marriage breakup. I had a complete loss of power like where I was at was this isn't fair, I'm as angry so my being was basically angry, despair and real hopelessness because At that time everything felt like it was just running through my fingers Like I couldn't catch anything It was all just slipping away

10:13 Despite my best efforts, inside me like as a gut feeling losing my brother losing my wife not seeing my kids every day. It was real... My being was of loss and I don't suppose being around me was that much fun You know, if you've been around anybody who's experienced quite a lot of loss or had to break up then you will know that despite how much love and compassion you got for them it's quite tough. It's because their being is really draining their loss. It ripples out, you get a sense of it so

12:26 That's TeamSuperDad.com forward slash 15, cool! So how do we... what is this being thing? How do we create it now? It really isn't something that you can force right it is something to play with okay but still where do we go to create that well the first part is getting present to how your being in the first place all right who am I being Now a really easy way I like to share with my clients about this is right, imagine you're a fish. Bizarre as it sounds! You could say imagine you're in the bath or imagine you walked into a river but i like to say imagine you're a fish how is the water? How is the water like if we are

13:18 The Jonnie Jensen Show, about to, I don't know about to do a presentation about to do a pitch to it to a new client like how's the water? Oh! It's a bit chilly. Like i'm a bit concerned. I'm not really at peace in this situation you're like okay right right so there's something there that I want... So how would you like the water to be? Right got it okay so who am I going to be to bring that shift in energy

14:07 You might notice if the water's cold that you're nervous, that you're attached to the outcome like you're concerned about not getting the deal or concerned about her not saying yes to the date. Or you're concerned about having an arow with your mum or dad because whenever you turn up to say hello to them they are miserable git right? Like what is it... Because you can't change other people That's the fundamental part of this process, is letting go of the idea that we can change other people. The only power we really have is how we show up as who we're being in that moment So... How are you being? Right I'm nervous, I'm concerned about losing, I am worried about getting it wrong, I'm gonna let people down If that was how your being going into that sales pitch

15:06 Going into that date then clearly you're not going to be the best version of yourself. So what you want to do is flip it, You want to flip the situation? Flip the being into something that's gonna have a positive impact on that moment Have something that's gonna bring a different experience A different temperature to the water now you don't wanna force it so what I mean by don't wanna force it if You were going to say, well I really want to be confident. Right okay so my how am i going to be? I'm gonna be confident. Well it's not like a switch where you can suddenly decide I'm gonna be confident or not gonna be confident because if it was that easy then you wouldn't necessarily be feeling unconfident nervous feeling like anyone is going to let you down So you wanna come up with ways of being that are gonna give you access to that confidence okay

16:05 In my work, I call it the three-word power play. You're going to look for three words that are... It could be part of a phrase they're going to sum up for you your new way of being in that moment and it's something to play with. It doesn't mean it's going to instantly work. It definitely doesn't mean it's going to be instantly comfortable but it is just an access to the result you want now what does that mean? Okay so Where were we? We were talking about, and I made some notes here earlier. We were talking about that time when the breakup and the grief... So my new way of being at that time went back and looked in my journal right The way of being that i tried on, that I was playing with as a conscious way of being Was happy strong and trusting Happy strong and trusting

17:10 I can't just, I'll just pause there for a second. Because i'm trying to look back on everything that was like it was a desperate time so that was for me in that moment those words were like a suit of armor that I was putting on I was looking for strength They might not be that appropriate in all situations. They might not be appropriate today, I don't think they necessarily are that appropriate today or they'd be slightly different today okay? I was actually looking at my ways of being for April literally we're on the first of April today because i like to try a new way of being on each month right so what I've picked for April is playful courageous and free

17:56 Playful, courageous and free. Similar to happy strong and trusting but not necessarily the same And that's because you're just looking for that moment in time to create the result that you want Your way of being will be felt by others around you It'll be felt by yourself when you start that conversation When you go into that situation You can't expect an instant result There are occasions when literally that is what happens. It's almost miraculous, the times when that happens is generally when you cause a breakthrough for yourself it might not be the first day you've tried on your new ways of being your three-word power play but if you've been playing with them for a week one of my dads one of my guys here we've been playing this game around talking to women he's been through a breakup

18:59 And he's not really looking to date, but he's just aware that he doesn't have a lot of interaction with women. So the game has been to chat, to engage in conversation with women as he just comes into contact with them through his day-to-day life. That could be someone I I'm not going to share, because i can't remember mainly but I'm not going to share his three word power play. But it was definitely free in there which is how I come to put mine in there for April and his experience is that it's become easier for him to have those conversations he has become more noticeable how the women that he's talking to are responding

20:18 Because it's not that when you go up to someone they're definitely going to say hi or great, or give me a number. Or whatever the outcome might be but when you approach them concerned anxious worried about how they're gonna respond then the likelihood is that words that come out of your mouth and energy that is experienced by the person talking to you are going to be very different than someone who's playful and courageous and free let alone how you then speak Your way of being, and I'm not even sure how this is all coming across. It gets quite ethereal but it's also really very real so try on this week have a look perhaps at a situation you've been experiencing with your partner right what's your way of being with her for the last month? For the last year? For the last five years get honest with yourself

21:16 Like if your way of being with them is frustrated, expecting the worst and generally resigned that it's never going to get better like oh my gosh start to get present too. That's my way of being with them if you've got teenage kids And I've had this with my eldest, my boy recently. He keeps pissing everywhere when he goes to the toilet right? Which clearly every boy does! I'm pretty sure every bloke does but hopefully the difference is when we get to a certain age we actually clear it up. So but my way of being with him was intensely frustrated and i realized that

21:57 I was being like that to him not just around the bathroom subject but it was seeping into other subjects so i had to notice and check my way of being from frustrated, to accepting and loving. Now I didn't get frustrated when he was one and I had to change his nappy! So kind of where do I get the right to be this frustrated with him now? Notice your way of being And be playful with it. Like I said, don't expect instant results okay but be open to it happening Don't expect it to be easy instantly but be open to it becoming familiar To becoming for a more enjoyable way of being Certainly being joyous is better than being frustrated and an interesting one just to finish off today was talking with another one

22:55 Team Superdad coaching members, clients. And his experience of going to visit his mum was pretty negative and we went through the session and were talking about his way of being and we unpacked, we unraveled, revealed the idea or realization that he was showing up when she went there. He was expecting her to be miserable Grumpy, negative. And then I said to him when was the last time you hugged her? When was the last time you told or loved her? Now it's very hard to be loving and tactile to someone who you think is grumpy miserable and negative right notice that okay so we created a new way of being three-word power play

24:00 about how he's going to be when he is with his mum. Loving, I think it was loving accepting and what was the other one? Loving and accepting...I forget the other one but can you see the difference that it might be when you show up somewhere and your gonna be loving and accepting The conversation oh and chatty that was it! Loving...the third one was chatty ok because it can be that simple right So I really, I told him you can't expect this to suddenly make a difference. But when she starts to notice you each time showing up as that loving accepting and chatty person then her experience of you will shift

24:51 And then maybe your experience of her will shift. And that's the magic here is we are always creating the people around us, our being gives them their being which then gives us our being The problem is we always think it starts with other person It doesn't So ownership when you own your way of being You have complete control But when you own your way of being you have complete control of your experience in every single moment It doesn't matter how it's going. Some people dance in the rain, some people run from the rain. It's who you're being about it raining okay? Thank you for tuning in this Saturday I hope you've enjoyed this! I hope you reviewed and considered your way of being what's been your way of being and what's gonna be your new way of being feel free to comment and chat

25:45 Send me a comment, send me a DM with your way of being for April and let me know how it's going. Don't forget to subscribe, like, share this with anybody you think would value this conversation and of course TeamSuperDad.com forward slash 15 call I look forward to helping you working with you and seeing you as part of the Team Super Dad group This is Jonnie enjoy the rest your weekend Team Super Dad out This has been Team Superdad. Find us at teamsuperdad.com Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children! You are not alone, you're on Team Superdad