Valentines Day Survivors - The Wrap Up #27

00:00 Welcome dads and mums and anyone else that's listening. It's that time of the week, the wrap-up and a Valentine's special role theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hey, welcome. Good afternoon. Good evening. Good morning. It is that time of the week to wrap up. We don't know where you are or what you're doing, but we do know it's Valentine's Day this Friday.

00:38 I'm pretty sure that is worldwide. And so you probably listen to this as a survivor, hopefully a survivor of Valentine's Day. But as always, my good, well-esteemed guest, Mr. Glenn, aka a dating dad, is joining us. Glenn, how you doing? I am still, still getting in with that funky bass, that kind of slap funk, bad, bad on, badong, bomb, bomb from the intro music. It sounds almost Seinfeld-esque. Oh, and we were just talking about Seinfeld indeed. Well, I did actually search audio jungle for funk and like funk, dance, how. And so somewhere in amongst all the songs I was looking to buy, yeah, up it came.

01:20 I think it's even got funk in the name. But so if you've listened to the podcast for a while, you'll know that has been our introduction for the last two and a bit years. I broke through the thousand download slash listens the other day, which actually after two years should be higher than that. But I don't know. At the very least, I'm going to celebrate a thousand because it's definitely a milestone. And they say doing something like 27 is a number. You've got to get past 27. We're already into the 50s. Yeah, I used to record a dating podcast called Swiped Out. And I only managed to get 23 episodes in because my co-host disappeared literally when coronavirus started.

02:02 She just went off and just walked away from all public life. But yeah, I mean, we barely got through, I don't know, 1,1500 listens and an episode. So we had a long way to go before we actually got up there in the ability to go on tour sort of stakes. Yeah. Well, still, 1,500 per episode. That is good. We are some way off that. Well, and listen, if you are listening to this, then pick up the flipping rope, guys. Let's share this with others. Tell a friend. Tell a friend, you know. What else are they doing with their time these days? Nothing. They should be hanging out with us, metaphorically speaking.

02:40 Exactly. So if you are listening, right, we're going to do podcasters first. If you're listening, go back into the app, click the little arrowy thing, copy link and share the Team Super Dad podcast with other dads that you know. Indeed, mums as well. I know we have plenty of them. I probably get more feedback from mums than I do dads. Yeah, but what are they saying? Oh, they're just saying they find it funny and they like the fact that we're talking about these things. And obviously, I've got the more serious episodes that drop in the week. And then we have the wrap-up, which is obviously hilarious banter. I had feedback from my mum last week. And she was like, Glenn, that sounded wonderful, but I had to stop listening when you started talking about sex. It's not that, I'm not that sort of listener. So hi, mum. Hi.

03:25 Do you know what's happened to Anthea Turner this week? I saw her trending on Twitter. Yeah, she's being all ableist and saying things which some people should just know there are inside thoughts and there are outside thoughts. And all of Anthea Turner's outside thoughts actually probably should be inside thoughts. Just don't say them, Anthea. If Anthea Turner and Right Said Fred are on your side, you're probably on the wrong side. Oh, now I'm even more intrigued, but it's probably not that much fun. Well, is it like corona stuff or multiple? Yeah, it's basically ableism and, you know, who should and shouldn't be getting care and who deserves it. And, you know, fat people shouldn't be putting strain on the NHS and all this sort of stuff.

04:09 And as much as some people might agree with it, you're not going to be able to explain that in any way, shape or form. That doesn't sound offensive to some people. Yeah, yeah. In a really well-balanced utopian society, you could have a sensible conversation without being judged. But the very fact that you're saying it probably means the average person doesn't have the intelligence to hold that conversation. I know a guy, Eddie. We'll call him Eddie because that's his name. And he like spouts off loads of stuff, like conspiracy theories, all stuff to do with like government and tax and space.

04:50 And you think he's just spouting off. You're like, yeah, yeah, whatever. And then he just hits you with stats and links. And I was like, okay, well, that is, I suppose, fascinating. fascinating, but also I didn't really care that much. Yeah, I mean, the more you have to convince someone your point of view is right, and when there's so much evidence against it, just you're probably wrong, not always, but probably wrong. Just like I never listen to anyone who says that Arsenal are a football team that are worth supporting. No amount of evidence is ever going to convince me otherwise. Yes. Yes. Of all of Tottenham's sort of rivals, I've probably struggled most with Chelsea.

05:34 And that's because I obviously didn't live in the belly of the beast. I also stood behind the goal when Tor Andre Flow scored four and we lost 6-1 back in the 90s. And that did burn an incredible burn on my psyche. Well, the week we've had with football, I'm happy not to talk about football very much, even though it's a subject that is dear to my heart. I've decided that for the foreseeable future, until the Formula One starts up again, it's all about the cricket. Yes. Well, we've done well not to talk about football too much in all of the wrap-ups.

06:09 But you know what? I love it when you go to a business networking thing or you go to a conference and there's some random who starts his whole talk by talking about something that's just happened in football, like that someone's won the FA Cup, right? And I was actually, this was a real thing that happened. So he stood there and he was a Chelsea fan. So he stood there and he was like so chuffed that Chelsea had won the FA Cup and he took up about five minutes of his talk and completely alienated. First of all, there are women, yes, that do support football, but in that kind of setting, you're probably going to hedge on the side of there's less women here than that like football than not, that those rather than do.

06:48 So he just alienated all of those. Then you alienated anyone that wasn't a Chelsea fan. And basically his whole thing was just doomed from that point of looking at it and going, you dickhead. Absolutely. But with that in mind, I'm happy to move on until Spurs start winning again. Yeah. Yeah. So in terms of running order today, we've mildly failed, Glenn. We were working on getting some women on board. Stories love my life. I know. That's about what I was about to say. But yeah, so our Valentine's special is Glenn and I, okay. But curiously, we've got some comments coming in. Good.

07:35 Someone says perfectly appropriate timing. We'll bring in one of our viewers/slash listeners in a second with his Valentine's point. But we are getting this crazy feedback, Glenn. I think it's coming from your end. I'll turn my microphone off because that's probably the best way of me contributing to the show. Oh, yes, the ringing noise has now gone. So, yes, our rundown today. We're going to talk about Valentine's Day, right? And so, when you're listening to this, you're probably going to be catching it like we're talking to the survivors, basically. But Valentine's Day is a curious thing. I think, I don't know, when did it get invented? We should Google. Whilst I'm rabbiting on Glenn, you can Google when did Valentine's Day start for me, okay?

08:18 Because it's always been this kind of male thing or so, it seemed that men had to just go out and buy cards and buy flowers. And the old classic milk tray advert and the man swinging in in his black spy outfit. But yeah, so where are you at, dads? And what happened? Basically, we've got, are you prepared for Valentine's Day? Are you desperately searching Amazon for Amazon Prime available in 24-hour deliveries? Are you scouring your local supermarket or garden center for lockdown purchases, right? Because you can't go anywhere else shopping. And what about getting creative as you stare into your kids' make and do box?

09:02 Or maybe you'll risk the wrath of your partner by clearly presenting her with a petrol station card and an obligatory box of crappy overpriced chocolates. I'm happy to say I don't think I've ever done, I don't think I've ever done the petrol station and crappy card. I don't think I've done that. Yet. Yes is the most powerful word in the English language. Yet. But I have found out some stuff about Valentine's Day. Of all places, CB's brilliant, brilliant for finding stuff out. So he was a Roman priest in the third century who was basically, they thought that soldiers would make rub married people would make rubbish soldiers because they were so scared about diet and that they, their missus and all that, that they wouldn't want to fight.

09:47 So they banned guys from getting married, but he used to marry people in secret just in case. They found out they killed him on. on 14th of February. Um, um, sentenced to death in jail, but while he was in jail, he fell in love with a jailer's daughter. And when he was taken to be killed, he sent her a letter signed from your Valentine, and that's where it kind of stemmed from. And the first Valentine's Day was in 496 AD. Education, knowledge is the bomb 490 AD after death. Okay, so wowzers, as traditions go, we've been disappointing women in terms of Valentine's gifts for 1600 years now, and uh, I see no reason to break that tradition.

10:33 Oh, I'm just soaking that in for a moment now. You know, Romans, of all the things they did, they used to dip people in wax and then set fire to them and mad stuff like that. All the time, not all the time, just a few of them, you know. And how are you going to keep a coliseum that size warm? I mean, there's a lot of energy stored in a human body, it's just the eco-warriors of their time, really. I just love the idea that they could invent sewage systems and roads and water, how to pump water for all parts of the house. And then, so next on the list, uh, dipping Christians.

11:12 Oh, good. I've been looking forward to this one. How's it work? Well, it's genius. You take a Christian, you dip them in boiling wax. And oh, well done, Claudius Maximus. Well done. Maybe that's where the whole fade of kind of dripping wax onto human skin comes from and the kind of sensual sexual elements of that. Oh, yeah, it could be could be time. I'm telling you, absolutely, 100% it's not. But yeah, I'm trying to create some sort of link between horrific torture and romantic get-togethers. It's a good, it's a good, um, good, good link. What do they call that? That we used to do on the radio segue. Yeah, um, I nearly fainted at the Tower of London once.

11:56 What on earth were you doing, naked, dripping candle wax onto your skin? My cousins were over from Chicago and we were doing London stuff. And so they said, oh, yeah, let's go to the, let's go to the Tower of London. So I've been multiple times, but I had, I had a, I had a jacket on and a backpack. And we were standing in the long corridor at early parts. And so they said, and if you look above you, right? And so you have to look up. And they talk about how they used to put people inside these cages and like, so they didn't like hang them in the streets of London to put people off doing dodgy things.

12:32 And then, so as I'm looking up, and he said something about, yes, and if you're like really unlucky, they would put a spike up through your anus inside of you to which didn't kill you instantly. You just died a slow, painful death. And as I'm looking up, I really pictured this in my mind. I fully wobbled back onto the onto the floor. That was hilarious. Because in that next moment, all of a sudden, all my family are laughing at me. So this deadly serious moment and being laughed at. Yeah. I do know that Iron Maidens weren't real. Medieval Iron Maidens didn't exist. They were invented by the Victorians just to seem kind of more harsh.

13:14 Oh, good. Good bit of my brain's gone blank today. What is that when you proper propaganda? Good bit of historical propaganda. Yeah. Yeah, like they just liked kind of making things seem a little bit a little bit weird and a little bit archaic and a little bit brutal. So imagine the minds of the Victorians. A job spec. We're looking for a copywriter, someone with a propaganda background who's also absolutely twisted into torture. So preferably into torture, killing rituals and other such weekend hobbies. Almost word for word, I've seen that on Tinder.

13:57 But I haven't got any Tinder dates for Valentines. I'm going to be woefully, woefully unromanced, sadly. Oh, well, at the risk of torpedoing something before it's even started, I have been just tentatively chatting to an old friend, school type days lady. And yeah, she doesn't live that far from us. She's attractive. She's single. Where's the catch? Not really any catch. Probably the only catch is she has a black Labrador.

14:34 And I have a kind of thing about, I love dogs, absolutely love dogs. But if their poos are bigger than mine, then I'm like, I'm like, there's a size limit of dogs. And it's just quite a simple bar. It's like, if they do bigger poos than me, then I'm. but we can territorial kind of thing yeah who's the alpha who can who can do the biggest crap oh yeah i'd never thought of it like that oh my gosh it's an inferiority complex oh dear oh yeah if you if you if you say there's that you there's no catch all it means is you merely haven't found the catch yet and then it's about whether you're willing to put up with the catch Oh of course.

15:15 Well, my dad said, and he used this a couple more swear words. I'm going to, he said, they're all nutters. The best you can hope for is you find one who's less nuts than the others, which actually is probably good advice. Probably, probably pretty sound advice there. Definitely. Are you going to be getting her some sort of Valentine's gift then? No, definitely not. Well, first of all, we've not even been on a date yet. Second of all, I'm not even sure she knows that she's in the running to go on a day in the running. There's a queue of them outside her tissue. Take me out or something. But no, Valentine's Day, if I'm, I think if would I send someone a Valentine's Day card? I don't know.

16:00 I'd probably, if I did, I'd make her one, I think. Would I? I don't know. That's a good question. Yeah, last year I got the first Valentine's Day thing I've had since being, since, since life changed. And in it, she wrote out the lyrics to Pulp's song, Something Changed. You know, when I woke up this morning, I had no way of knowing that in a matter of hours, my life, we would change the whole way we were going. Where we would be now if we'd never met. And it's really, it's an underrated romantic classic song, one of the most romantic songs I've ever known. And yeah, it was one of the best Valentine's presents I've ever got because it was tailored for me and made for me. And it just meant something. It was good.

16:46 Definitely. But would that be sent to someone who you weren't actually in a relationship with? Would you use that as a gate? Well, they call it a gateway. See, nothing that deep because that we'd been together, we'd connected really quickly and we're really, really close at that point. But if you've only just started seeing someone, then that's scary levels of shallow. Shallow, you've cheap. Not shallow. You've got to be classic. You're fine. So we've got to be classic. You know, flowers, chocolates, and wine or something, you know, just entry-level romance, basically.

17:24 And then you can build on that with something more special when you connect a little bit. I was thinking of just a card, like, you're fit, nice rack. Let's go out. How are you still single, mate? How are you still single with that level of romantic essence within you? I just don't understand. Okay, so we've got to work on that. Maybe it needs to rhyme. So, look, if you know, roses are red. You know, you're not fine. There's so many things I should say, but if my mum's going to be listening to this, I need to dial it down a little bit. Okay. Okay. So, right. So, we're going to, okay, so this is, you know, anyone could be listening to.

18:07 They could have searched this podcast up Valentine's. Now we're going to give, so we're getting into the nitty-gritty. Okay. So if you're not in the relationship, we can drop a card. What kind of a clue are we going to give? Are we going to say it's me from around the corner? Or it's... No. It all depends. It depends on whether this is the kind of something you want them to find out about. So I had a Valentine's Day card a couple of years ago that was posted through my door, hand delivered. And to this day, I've got no idea who it was from. And so that was nice. It was lovely for me. But like, I've got to say, what's the point? Why would you do that? Why would you, if you're sending a Valentine's Day card, then either you're doing altruistically and so it's just to make them feel good, which is lovely, but it's got to be part of a romancey wooing type thing, surely.

18:55 It's got to be something where you're leading towards something. So you want them to find out it was you. So you've got to leave a clue or two in there somehow without being really obvious about it. Yeah, like dropping a condom in there as well. I mean, that's a statement of intent as much as anything else. Unless it's actually branded with your face on it, in which case that's not that subtle. Oh, you go, wine, condom, and a fiver for a taxi. I just, honestly, you should, you should be doing lessons, lessons in romance with Johnny. It's a thing of wonder.

19:37 I'm making myself laugh. You know, it's bad news. If you're making yourself laugh, there's problems. Yeah. Yeah. Title of my sex tape. tape so okay so we're doing do you remember the days of of giant cards do you remember like yeah yeah giant cards bloody teddy bears have you ever done one of those i think i did i think i did a big card when i was a teenager i think i did do some on a big card No, because if you get a big card, does that mean you've got to do big writing as well? Do you have to have a big marker? Because you can't write, you can't have a card that's the size of a movie poster and then write a biro on it.

20:18 Remember them? What's the point? And what's someone going to do with that? I just, I don't get it. I don't understand it. And I'll be honest. One thing that really frustrates me about Valentine's Day is the fact, and this isn't hashtag not all women, hashtag not all men, but it's almost always the pressure is on the man to be romantic towards the woman. That's that's pretty much what it is. Romance is one way when it comes to Valentine's Day. You never hear about stories about a woman doing really romantic things for their men. And if you do, they're the exception rather than the rules. So that's one thing I bloody hate about Valentine's Day.

20:58 I do have a not-for-air Valentine's Day story, which actually is if there's an example of generous Valentines acts from your female person and have fun. Okay. So was that because that was Valentines or was it because you're just a beautiful man who someone would want to do that for anyway? It was Valentine's Day. We were in love and it was epic. We had a wonderful evening. A lot of fun was had. And so, and actually, quite a fair bit of preparation went into it on her part.

21:40 And it was a complete surprise. So, so and I did feel very loved afterwards. Yes. I guess we'll leave it there until the after hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I do get that. You know, that Valentine's Day is if it's in it, if it's anything, because I asked this week, I said to people, what do you love about Valentine's Day? Is it a load of bollocks? What do you want the opposite sex to know about love and romance? And that pretty much, and I should have asked a bit more of a debaucherous question. I should have been, oh, what's that word? Depride, depraved? A depraved. I should have said, like, what's your most depraved Valentine's Day story?

22:21 I might have got some better responses back. But yeah, pretty much across the board, I got back. It shouldn't just be for one day of the year. Oh, and I'll tell you what the women did say. Here's a good one. It's not actually answering your question. Maybe I should have asked this actually. Four different women said in different places, it wasn't like following on the feed, right? I posted it in various places, said, don't get me a decent present and a crap card. Like, what? Like a card that says, Tusu, happy Valentine's Day. Love Steve. I've got to say, if someone was to say, look, you can either have a really nice card and an okay present, or you can have a brilliant present and a crap card.

23:07 The present is the thing. The present is the thing that actually is going to last. The card, you'll read it and then what? What are you going to do with a card? Whereas a present, you're going to use. True. But again, we're giving insights into our, first of all, our married journey. And second of all, our current status, both of us single and divorced. The women, the four women that responded, said, said, and I guess actually pushed on the subject, they'd have probably said, I'd quite like both. But what they really were saying was, I want some love and generosity and vulnerability in my card. I want some, I want to, I want to hear how much you love. So it's not about the card, it's about the words that are in the card.

23:51 Yes. Okay. Sorry. Yes. Right. Okay. That makes poor card. Well, caveat actually here. Poor card, nice words, going to be okay. If it's evident the poor card was purchased at the petrol station around the corner, then you may have to go big, double big on the words. I think, I think, better than the, oh, look, keep wobbling on. I think this is the oven repair man about to tell me he's coming around in half an hour. You're gone quiet. How about now? Is that any better there? Good, good, good. So romance is something that you that can be possible. I know one time, one thing I did, I had no money at all.

24:32 So what I did is I nabbed, I actually nabbed some coloured paper from where I used to work and hand-rolled hand rolled. it into the green paper into stems, cut out little green leaves, cut out a load of red petals, stuck them petal by petal by petal together and said I'd made a rose and then made that a dozen of those, wrapped them up and then delivered them to my ex-wife's workplace, which was very weird walking through London with a bunch of handmade paper roses. And I, weirdly, I think it was well received, but it did, I did feel like a bit of a cheap skate.

25:11 But I guess it's about whether you're putting time in versus effort. So time and effort on that gift was massive, even though cost was low. Handmade paper flowers, paper roses, a dozen of those. And so I've done that. Oh, mate. It took all day. But I didn't have any money for regular roses. So that's what I did. And I think a few years later, I made up for that by doing, I did her a treasure hunt around our neighborhood. So local businesses all had a clue. And so she'd have to go somewhere and ask for a clue. But you told us last week, you told us. No, no, that was my marriage proposal. And this one, the last one was, I think the last message was pack your bags.

25:54 But it wasn't because I was kicking her out. It's because we're drinking her to the oldest of Valentine's Day. Took her to Paris for the weekend just out of the blue. So romance can be done. Guys are good at romance and we have that ability. And I just think that I would like to, I would appreciate every romantic gesture just as much as I'm sure a woman would in that situation. Well, yeah, yeah, totally. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, feel special. Yeah. Here's the thing, though. Obviously, doing it on other days of the year, absolutely vital.

26:33 I'd hate to be, and well, clearly hate to be. Sorry, not together. I'd hate to be not appreciated at all for 364 days of the year and then be like, you're the best. Oh, yeah. You don't want to use up all the allocation on one day. Definitely. Romance is an ongoing thing. I think Valentines is okay to remind you to, you know, when was the last time you did date night? When was the last time you did it? It's a good checking point, but if it's the only checking point you've got through the year, then you've got to reassess where you're going. Yeah, totally. I think a couple can go big on Valentine's Day with all those boxes ticked. Like it's going to go both ways.

27:16 I don't mean getting lucid. It's going to go. It's going to go both ways. We're going to get both feel loved and appreciated by each other. And actually, it's going to be the biggest celebration of our relationship for the year. Oh, here's a good question, right? Do we get blind drunk on Valentine's Day or do we keep it like sorry? Straight away. As soon as you say, do we get blind drunk? Everything after that, just like, yes, the answer is always. No, you've got to be lucid enough to be there and be present and be part of it. And you never should be much more drunk than the person you're with, in my opinion, anyway.

27:58 If you're both roaring drunk, brilliant. If you're both sober, fine. If you're kind of there or thereabouts, then that's great. But wherever stage you're going to be, as long as you're both in that place, that's okay. Yeah. I think that is, as a man, that is definitely like an act of chivalry is to gauge your drunkenness to your partner. And especially if she's a wild one, then you can actually inside your like, this is brilliant. She's getting absolutely sad because you know you're going to have a lot of fun. A lot of fun. Oh my gosh. I mentioned this the other week, actually, about finding some fun women to hang out with or meet some new fun women.

28:40 Not that my old female friends are not fun. And actually, that is the exact thing I'm saying is that they are a lot of fun. I just don't get to see them that often. But then maybe I'm not that much fun anymore. Do I like getting drunk as I used to? If you don't, then I'm like Dorian Gray in that. I seem to be getting more and more enjoyable in that respect. As I get older, I'm fine. I'm literally not just maturing like a fine wine. I am only because I'm drinking so much fine wine. I think I'm just replacing the blood in my body with red. Ah, so you're a good drunk. You're still a good drunk? I've been told this. I'm not someone that I don't get angry or get melancholy or anything like that. Usually, if I'm around people, then it's just nice. I just, yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay with being drunk.

29:24 Yeah. I'm a lightweight. That's for certain. And I've always been a lightweight. But I have these magic moments where I can, like, I. it's gone good no no i've actually drunk loads and i've managed to move from my from from the drink i drunk too much of to the next drink just at the right time not too early not too late like jumping from the beers to the spirits um when i went to uni right i didn't realize uh i didn't first of all i didn't really realize that i didn't like stella And also I didn't realise that Stella got you as clearly as drunk as it did.

30:00 But when I was suddenly at uni with a load of northerners, there wasn't really the option to ordering a carling or some other lower alcohol percentage beer. So yeah, it was just, it was, it was just stellar all the way. Although we did start drinking. Do you remember when Caffrey's was launched? And it was about 5% nutty juice. They used to have that creamy top that came on. So we used to get Caffrey's and have a vodka depth charge in it. Oh my gosh. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. I mean, the combinations we used to drink. We actually, we got one drink banned at local bars.

30:42 You know, it was a Cheeky Vimto, which is a, which is that, yeah, a steak bite and black. Yeah, they got banned as well. Snake Bite and Black. Yeah, Snake Bite and Black. Yeah, cider and black currant, yeah. Pretty much, yeah. And then also what was in a Cheeky Vimto? I can't, I genuinely can't remember, but it tasted, it tasted like an alcohol. That's all it was. And I do know that one of my favourite ones was Smurt Officer. What was it called? Turbo Shandy. So you'd buy a pint of lager, drink half of it, then get a smurn off ice, pour that in. And so that was like this super sweet lemonade-y type thing. And then you'd just be able to neck it because it tasted like a soft drink.

31:25 But of course, it was twice as strong because you're getting twice as much alcohol in there. It was, yeah, it was bad. And you know what? There's part of me that was kind of fancy one. I think that'd be quite nice these days. I might as well get some smirk off ice. Oh man, like have a throwback night. Yeah, drink all the drinks you drink when you're at uni. 2020, white lightning, all that sort of good stuff. Boat race, like a with with a bottle of 2020, oh, 2020. The red one has to be the red one, surely. I think if you're if you're worrying about what colour it is, then you're doing it wrong. Of its flavour, isn't it? It's not, it's just sweet rubbish.

32:05 Just get it inside you. I know. Keep it in there for as long as you possibly can. I know, but the red one, strawberry or cherry, whatever, was so much better than the apple one. I'm going to have to look into this again. I'm going to have to do some research, some first person research. Okay, so when lockdown's over, because if news flash to people who haven't caught the last few wrap-ups, which by the way, where were you? And go back and listen to them. Turns out Glenn and I, of the, how many thousand miles are there in the UK? We live within about three miles of each other. So as soon as we're out of lockdown, we can go and absolutely go and do this.

32:44 We will have a live wrap-up at something like the Swan in, or The Swan's a bit serious, actually, isn't it? Somewhere else in West Morning that's a bit more debaucherous. Yeah. We'll drink so you don't have to. We'll put in the effort and damage our own livers so that our good listeners can have access to this research. It's important. My pod deck, we can take on the road. We can literally do a Brockmart. We could do a live. Have everyone turn up. It'd be brilliant. Brilliant. Put it in your diaries, gang. The first weekend of... Oh, one question for you in terms of Valentine's stuff. What do you think is more important to be romantic at? Valentine's Day or your anniversary?

33:27 Anniversary? Yeah. How come? Because I think that's a date that's special to you too. Like as a couple, that is a date that's unique to you both. If you put yourself in that moment, in an ideal world, that day was just one of the best days of your life. So to put yourself back in that moment and to reconnect on that level to think, you know what, no matter what crap we're going through, we not only were so much in love, but we had the best day. And whatever's going on right now, if we can just focus on that and get back to that, then we're going to be happy forever.

34:10 So yeah, wedding anniversary. So beautifully said. So beautiful. I should fart or something now, I shouldn't say. I should just put an edge back on that. Talking of farting, we did a Joe Wicks video this morning. fitness, by the way, daily sweat, the daily sweat is over in the Team Super Dad group. Um, uh, if you if you go to facebook.com, obviously, groups, team superdad. I have there's an everlasting post in there, which is the daily sweats. It's like a it's like an exercise accountability thing. I've had backache, shoulder ache problems over the last couple of months, plus winter. So, I've been fully off the rails, but back on.

34:53 And my daughter is basically the driving force behind that. So, we've been doing Joe Wicks together, right? So, we're doing Joe Wicks. And then my boy comes down and goes, Oh, you've got to watch this. And so, whenever it was, Joe Wicks, if you've searched YouTube for Joe Wicks fart, there's this, there's this one of his mornings. He, the video starts about 10 seconds before he's thinking it starts. So, he lets rip this massive fart. And it's just absolute gold. There's just some, I can't remember. I was having a chat with some friends, and the subject of farts being funny came up. And all the women on the call were very much of the no, they're not funny. There's no situation where they're ever funny.

35:32 Um, whereas all the guys were just are, and no one can explain it, but but a good will-ripped one at the wrong moment is cracking up. It doesn't matter how sophisticated you are as a person, that is funny. Well, I think we think women do. I think when but it's like a closed shop, when they're absolutely farting and doing flipping light in them and all sorts of stuff, I think, I think it happens. I think I think that in fact, I do know some groups of women who, you know, in fact, the very fact that they're all there together and there's no blokes means that they can actually do those things, though.

36:12 Perhaps not on Valentine's Day. No, oh, here's a good one: farting whilst being given a blowjob, that is a bad move. Yeah, ah, there's been moments. I remember once going out and going out for dinner with someone, and I've got to be careful with my language here because I have young ears around. But we went out for dinner, and turns out the place maybe wasn't the most hygienic of places. And we are mid that activity. And you know, that moment where the only thing I can think of in my brain is definitely don't fart because there's no way of guaranteeing it will only be fart. And firstly, you shouldn't be farting at that stage anyway. No, but secondly, there are scales.

36:55 If you happen to break wind at that moment, it's bad, but it's not the end of the evening. If it's more than that, then not only is it the end of the evening, but you're going to be on Reddit at some point with a description of what happened, and there's nothing you can ever do about it. It's that's you can't squeeze that toothpaste back into the tube, no, but it could define like if you could come back from that and forge a relationship, you cannot, no way on earth. If you've been together for 10 years at that stage, yeah, sure, fine, but if you've been together for a couple of months and in that situation, that happens, just just pack, just look down, just apologize, and get out of there.

37:39 I think you're just so relaxed, it's such a such a great moment, and you're just in the zone, and but then what you're just holding it in, how yeah, you have to, you have to, or take a break, take a break. You've got to somehow get her away from the zone. You say, I just need a moment, I just need a moment. Go to the loo, go to the loo, just say, I just need to use a loo and then go and then go back to it. It's worth the break, okay. As an as an act of like gentleman, gentlemanness, yeah, okay. So, she says, Where are you going? And like, trust me, you'll appreciate this.

38:23 I definitely want to be right back, don't move, but yeah, okay, okay, yeah, I can see this. It's the lesser of two evils, yeah, absolutely. The better of two paths, yeah, okay, right. I'm gonna write, I'm gonna put that in my uh, in my like flipping tips for life book. That's going, Glenn, you've got to fill again because I'm being asked by the other man again. Hold tight, fantastic. Well, I, I, it's one of the things where you can, he says, you just got to fill. I mean, firstly, that is the title of Johnny's sex tape. Um, but secondly, he's left me with nothing to fill.

39:01 Um, so what I am going to say is, is Valentine's Day is fun, it's nice, it's good, but but don't make it a bit all nendall, you know. But make sure the other person knows that you are, you know, it exists and you're going to do something. But, but why not actually put a Valentine's, an un-Valentine's Day in a diary, just at some random point in the year, and just go to town that day as well. Maybe they can receive. respond on March the 14th. If you've not heard about what March the 14th is all about, then I recommend you Google it because for guys, it's one of top five days in a year, top five days in a year. You've got birthdays, Christmas, maybe anniversary,

39:43 FA Cup final day, and then you've got March the 14th. So Google what March the 14th is. Top five day. Boom. Oh man, I've come in not knowing what March the 14th is. Blimey, you've got to Google that stuff, man. I just said, it's top. So you've got your birthday, you've got Christmas, you've got anniversary if you've got anniversary, you've got FA Cup final day, and then you've got March 14th. Oh, definitely wisdom here. This is knowledge that I'm not even going to charge you for.

40:24 This is free. This is free. It's a gift from me to all you gentlemen out there. And ladies, if you don't, if you aren't aware of March 14th, trust me, make it a thing, and you can do whatever you want for March, maybe April as well. But just one evening of commitment, oh, it's an investment. It's an investment of time, energy, and enjoyment. Yeah, I'm looking for the origins of it, but it doesn't actually. Well, it's about it started off in the third century in Rome. There was this monk. And it was the top bloke at the monastery, he used it as a way to keep his monks

41:07 under control. So one day a year, he would let them have a release, literally. And the women from the local village would come and serve steak. Okay, good. Good stuff. Do you think though, I hope this is the case. I'm looking forward to finding this out as I venture back into the world of relationships. Surely women are now more involved and more generous and more part of Valentine's Day. They're not just there waiting for. Yes. I mean, with the caveat that every woman is different and every situation is different. Yes, they are more involved. But as with anything, it's a societal pressure.

41:49 There's a societal inertia that says this is the way things should be done. Just like men having to pay for dates, pay for the first meal and all that sort of stuff. As much as women say, no, no, I always go Dutch, I've been on a lot of dates and that doesn't happen very often. Sometimes women might offer and then you say, no, that's okay. And they never say, no, I insist. It's always, okay. And so you end up wedging out. And so men are just the way things are. And there's a whole variety of reasons why that is the case. And it's the same with Valentines. Yes, some women are much more likely to take part and to make it a thing, but it's definitely not universally seen that way. It just isn't.

42:32 Wowzers. See, I think I think I will. Oh, no, that's just no. So on a first date, there's a definite expectation, probably, definitely and probably. Good, good. Definite expectation that she will probably be thinking that I'm going to be paying. Yeah, and again, this varies by from woman to woman and situation to situation for sure. But and there's always the thing where they'll offer to pay. But generally speaking, in my experience, at least six or seven out of ten, at least possibly more, either never offer or are happy to accept it.

43:13 If I say, no, it's okay, I mean, I'm okay to do that. And a lot of the time, if it's a case of, you know, I say, I'll pay for this one, you pay for the next one. They're happy to accept that even when they know that there's not going to be a next one. And that for me, I don't, I don't like. Yeah. So she should say, actually, no, there's no chemistry here. We won't be having a next one. And I will be paying half of this as a nice evening that's not going anywhere. Oh, yeah, okay, right. Oh, I'm going to be, I'm going to be a disaster at this. I'm going to have to get some serious cards on the table before we go a day. Yeah, I've got a whole piece. I wrote a blog on kind of the financial cost of dating for men because it's huge.

43:57 And there's so many hidden costs as well that you just don't think about. Let me bring it up because I actually did some sums about how much it costs the average guy to kind of go on dates because we know that women, in my experience, they talk regularly about the cost of getting their hair done, getting their nails done, getting kind of body grooming done, buying. buying clothes, makeup. There's a huge cost for women that they bring to a date. And that's unarguable as well. However, one study said that actually the average man goes on 13 dates a year and spends £1,349 going on these dates.

44:38 Now, I think that's low. That's lowballing it. So we live just outside London, don't we? Yeah. So just get just getting into London and home again, plus the cab to and from the same, it's about 15 quid. Averaging out a new shirt every now and then, new pair of trousers or whatever, even if you just average it out at £20 a pop, that's already 35 quid. I've heard sometimes it's not a lot of people don't want to just meet for a drink. They want to do something a bit more. So if you're going to a gig or something like that, then it's 30 quid a ticket. Then actually, you know, that's 60 quid you're shelling out. And that's that's not unusual. I've taken people to gigs and to football matches and to shows and so on.

45:18 It just adds up. That's 60 quid. Drinks. Just a single cocktail in London is about a tenner. And you're buying at least, even if you split the drinks each one, at least that is another 40 quid, 45 quid or something like that. Then you've got food. Even again, if they pay for half, then that's 30 quid each, maybe 60. So at a typical date, it would not be unusual to see it cost anywhere from 110 to 170 quid. Totally. It's mad. And if you're, if you like, I was for a while, going on a lot of dates in a short period of time, my God, it adds up. It really does. Yeah, prohibitive. Oh, yeah. Totally worth it, though. Well, yeah.

46:04 Yes. I've chatted to a couple of other mates recently. They're even during lockdown. He's, you know, he's been getting action. Or for me, first date, second date, and then it's like, oh, yeah, she stayed over. It's like, okay, good work. Good work. That's a three-date rule. It's one of those things I had to learn when I was starting to date. And yeah, the third date rule is a commonly accepted thing, even though it's also universally slated as well. So come on, Glenn, as we get towards the top of the show, enlighten us. Oh, no, you might not be able to enlighten us right now with the kids there. Can you enlighten us on the three-date rule? I can go into all outline no detail.

46:50 The commonly accepted norm is that if by the third date if you want to go on a fourth or a fifth, by the third date, you should know whether there is any chemistry in that area. And that's the thing you explore after the third date. The commonly accepted thing is if it gets a fourth, fifth, sixth, or seventh date, then actually then you don't know whether there's it's too late. You kind of lost that initial spark and the attraction type thing. And one of the, again, one of the commonly things, if you go before the third date, then it's too soon. It's not right. It's not going to be sustainable. So the third date seems to be the time that a lot of people say that's about right.

47:31 Now, of course, I say it's ridiculous. If you think it's right after the first date, go for it. If you think it's right, or both of you, that is, of course. If both of you think it's right after the first date, go for it. If it's after the fifth date, the sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, whatever date, go for it. It's about what's right for you individually. But it does seem to be this pressure, this perceived pressure that three dates is when the grown-up sleepovers happen. Yes, it's either happening or it's not happening. This is going forward or it's not going forward. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I've got a whole world of things I can say about dating as a dad. So maybe we should do some slots on that one day.

48:11 If people have got any kind of how to date as a dad questions, I'd be more than happy to share my experience and research. Yeah, we'll do a little dating mini series. How about that? That's good. We will get some women on. This is definitely happening. We're getting some women on for once a month. We're going to get some women on to the wrap up. And we might have to. Bit like Brookside after hours, you know, Brookie after our wrap-up with women. I'm going to get slated. Although I have to say,

48:53 through some of my interactions, I can't believe it. When you post, you know, some of these, obviously, like single parent groups and parent groups. And I've been asking around the internet this week about Valentine's Day and what's acceptable, what would you like to see, what would you like to happen? That what a lot of blokes do is just rubbish. rubbish. Yeah, we're awful. And so, but even basic skills that kind of put you above the top 50%. If you buy a card and the worst, even a petrol station stuff, that probably puts you in the top 50% of men. And that's pathetic, guys. Pathetic. When I do a message in a card, I feel the thing.

49:34 I'm like, I've stuck bits of paper in before, like, so that it folds out the body. Like one of those kind of things that you do this with when you're six, and you're kind of unfolding to get more space to write in. If I'm in love, there's not enough space on the paper, basically. That's easy. That is absolutely easy. Who wouldn't want to do nice things for someone they're in love with? Blimey. I look forward to being in that position once again and exploring that in the future. Yeah, totally. And kind of on a serious note, because look, divorce is not much fun. Being in a rubbish marriage isn't much fun either, but it's not a flipping

50:16 walk in the park single life. So if you're a dad and you're listening to this, and hopefully it's been a bit funny, but seriously, appreciate the woman in your life. Like, make her feel special. Do some good stuff for her. Pull your weight. Give her a break. My friend won't mind me sharing this. He's one of the Team Super Dad members. And after his breakup, he was asking me about cooking. And I said, well, what did you cook when you were together? He's like, I didn't. Christ. I go, hang on a minute. I thought you were together 18 years. It was like that joke at the end of coming to America.

51:00 That's why she had an affair. Okay, cool. No, not the only reason, but clearly, like, we are modern men, modern dads. We live in a world where equality is not such a flipping fight for equality now. It should just be a flipping accepted. Like, of course, you're going to go to the shops. Of course, you're going to iron your own shirt. Like, learn how to cook for flipping heck's sake. But also, do nice stuff together and be brave as well. Be brave in what you want from the relationship. Don't resent her and be fed up and pissed off about what you're not getting if you've never asked for it or if you ask for it and expect it, but you've done nothing for her in the last 364 days, let alone how long you've been together, then clearly she's not going

51:48 to be that excited about feeling in love and doing cool stuff for you. So it's a quid pro quo, ever fluid situation. And if you want to feel in love and have a have an awesome relationship, then take responsibility for your side of things first before you can start to real make any real demands or expectations on the relationship. I think that's a beautiful way to draw the thing to a close. I think that's a good message that everyone needs to remember. Yeah, totes. So this has been the wrap-up. We are here every week, literally wrapping up our week.

52:24 We are from the Team Super Dad community. Real dads creating our best lives ever, living the life we desire, not the life we feel stuck in. And forgot to mention, got a challenge coming up next week, Glenn. It is the happy and focused dad challenge, five-day challenge in the Team Super Dad group. Free, totally free. 45 minute, 40 to 45 minute live sessions each day on different elements of getting focused, like being really clear on what your morning, evening routines are, communicating better with your partner and having more fun, not just in your relationship, but in your life. And so, yeah, the five-day challenge, teamsuperdad.com forward slash happy dad.

53:10 And that seems to fit in quite appropriate with some of our chit chat today in the wrap-up. No, we won't be telling you how. Well, in fact, we will be telling you how to get a blowjob on your Valentine's Day. But in the more general terms of being a happy and focused dad. So come on over and register. It's totally free. And if anyone does want to share what amazing Valentine's Day presents they either gave or received as well, I'd kind of like to hear a top three or top five best and worst Valentine's gifts that you got this year. Yeah, totally. So if you are, have you listened to the end of the show? It's like a 20% rule.

53:50 The people that listen to the end of the show, they're the real heroes. They are super super dads. Some of my favorite podcasts, they acknowledge the people that listen all the way to the end. And yeah, we feel like a little special club. So welcome to this special club. Send us whatever your favorite social is, you can. tweet at a dating dad, or you can tweet at teamsuperdad hq, and Glenn and I will get those there. As for the other socials, Instagram, pretty much the same thing. And Facebook, just search teamsuperdad.com, you'll get the page. Sorry, just search Team Super Dad, you'll get the page or the group, or you can send me an email, whatever it takes.

54:32 It's all there. Yeah, yeah, send me a love letter. Glenn, great to hang out together as always. Likewise, and I'm quite relieved that no, you didn't even mention my haircut. So that means it's, I didn't do a bad haircut from home job by myself. No, from the back, I'm sure it just looks like a market. Yeah, probably does look very bad from the back. But hopefully, I won't be observing you from the back unless we go on a mic ride. You know what? At this stage, I'm not even entirely insured that I'd say no. Epic. Yeah, do that, dad. Let us know how your Valentine's Day went and we will name check you on next week's wrap-up.

55:17 Good stuff. Team Super Dad out. Bye. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at Team Super Dad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.