Steve Lovell #2 - punk rocker, record producer, decorator, relationship coach and Dad

00:00 In this episode of Team Super Dad, I speak to Steve Lovell, a relationship coach, former punk band member, producer of records of some famous bands, and also a dad, a great guy, and you will love this episode. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Roll credits. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.

00:42 Yes, hello. Welcome to the Team Super Dad podcast. I'm Johnny Jensen, your host and the founder of Team Super Dad, the program and community for dads rebuilding after divorce separation or loss. It is great to have you here. In this episode, we do an interview. Yes, the Team Super Dad podcasts are a mix of interviews, time with me, where I coach an input into what it is to be a single dad. And we're working on the hangout as well. So the hangout is where dads from the community can come into the Zoom meeting and we get to chit chat and are fully looking to share some of those episodes as a more fun and down-to-earth way to just hang out with Team Super Dad.

01:26 But today, like I said, it's a great conversation with Steve Lovell. He's a top bloke. He's been through a divorce of himself, some health matters himself most recently. He's got an awesome second wife, a fabulous family, stepchildren. And like I said, some great stories from hanging out with Richard Branson bands that will spring to mind. I can't even remember who they were now, but famous bands. Frankie Goes to Hollywood, things like that. So without further ado, let's get stuck into today's interview. And I'll see you on the other side. By the way, if you are interested in being part of Team Super Dad, then come over to the Facebook group.

02:07 That's facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash Team Superdad. The Team Super Dad rebuild program is kick-starting in October. That's October 2019 with the pilot. It will be running after that as well. So if you have any desire to find out how to really kickstart your life in the five-week rebuild program, then message me at teamsuperdad.com or any of our social media channels. And I look forward to speaking to you about all of that. Enjoy. Good morning, Team Super Dad guests. Welcome to the Team Super Dad podcast.

02:47 Today we've got a great friend of mine and it's a real pleasure to be speaking to him on the Team Super Dad podcast today. I will let him introduce himself fully, but I do know he has a varied life. He's got a large family, some of his, some of from his partner's former relationship. And he's impacted the lives of many hundreds of people, even ones that I know, let alone the ones that I don't know. So without further ado, Steve Lovell, it's a real pleasure to have you here on the Team Super Dad podcast today. Great to be here. Thanks for inviting me, Johnny. And great to see you. Yeah, likewise, likewise.

03:28 It's blisteringly hot, even though it's so early in the morning outside. And hay fever is rife in the UK. I've got the windows shut so there's no noise. Somebody have a meltdown. You know why? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm sitting quite cool actually here. But yesterday was just stonking, wasn't it? It was so bloody hot. But we complain about that, don't we? And we complain about the cold and we complain about the wet and we complain about the drives. What if it is not British? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Is that a deflectionary or it's just a way to warm each other up? I don't know. Well, listen, Steve, we met. When did we meet? It must have been 2007.

04:14 Oh, my goodness. It was 12 or 13 years ago, wasn't it? Yeah, about 2007. And that was on the Introduction Leader program at Landmark Education, as I recall. That's right. Yeah, we met on that one, didn't we? And you'd just come back from the first weekend in Amsterdam, I remember, with some very interesting stories, which we might not go into here, Johnny. But you know, the premise of the all the, you know, the course actually encourages you to get complete on your past. So you get some very ripe stories from people who on the first weekend, say, unload all of the stuff that they perhaps had in their dodgy past.

04:56 So it makes very interesting listening. listening. I'm supposed to be interviewing you, Steve. But we've left, we can't just leave that hanging in the air, can we? It's like come on, man. So, so, yeah, so the introduction leader program. In fact, many, many facets of landmarks courses, and I'd hope in a lot of other personal development courses, there's an element of getting complete with things from your past. And I was clearing up a lot of stuff. I'd identified myself as a bit of a weasel. And so, we were in Amsterdam, and I had previously

05:36 a lot younger, reported a camera lost so that I could claim it on the insurance. So, when I went to the police to clear this up, because it had been presumed that there must have been a record about this, and other people had been involved, and it was basically a big, big fib. And when I got to the police station, thinking that they would say, Oh, thanks very much, have a nice rest of the day, they arrested me. It was late at night. You didn't expect it to come in, did you? No, I didn't expect it at all. And I'd been out for dinner with another friend of ours, Jonathan Drew. So, we'd had a bottle of wine, or maybe two. I'd said goodbye to him and wandered into the police station.

06:16 So, it was late at night, and there was no one to sort of process this thing. So, they kept me overnight. Oh, brilliant. They didn't charge you, no? 200 euros. Oh, they did. I saw the, he's like called a, he wasn't called a concessionary, but he was like a justice of the peace. So, I just went into his office the next day and sat down, and he kind of chuckled and said, and I feel like I wish I did know his exact words, but obviously, in his very Dutch accent, he's good morning, Mr. Jensen. And we just went through it, and he said, Oh, yeah, so they said 200 euros, please.

07:00 But the real kicker was that I'd missed my squeezed jet flight back home. So, it was, and as anyone knows, if you try and buy a budget airline flight last minute, it's not budget. So, it was about 200 euros for the flight and for the Justice of the Peace. And of course, everyone, I disappeared off the face of the earth for about 18 hours as well. And was it worth it? Yeah, I think in the realms of taking responsibility for things and considering the impact, yeah. And also, another good thing about it was just how we might presume things are going to be way worse than they actually are. So,

07:44 like, how bad. How about how those things impact us and we're not really present to how they can impact us? I've just got to let the dog out here. Yeah, go for it. I just, um, here you go, Darling. I'm going to do some filler music. No, no, I'm coming back. No, no, it's fine. I'm here with you. I'm here with you. No, no, that's fine. The, I don't know. I mean, it was kind of funny. Obviously, when I came back and the whole group obviously had got to hear about what had happened as a great example of someone getting completely missed. Well, it was a real contribution, yeah. It was a real contribution to people. My family thought I was absolutely mental, which didn't help at all.

08:29 Yeah. But all in all, I think if that's who we are in the world and you take that kind of responsibility for things, then there can only be good things come from it, really. And I think it's a strength of character that you can take into all relationships, into parenting of your kids, subjects at work. You know, I think there's a degree to which I don't mean like goody two-shoes kind of level of honesty, but just taking life as real and doing it as it should be done. And the experiences of it. I mean, I was in a, in a, the first thing I was in, the cell I was in, was like an old cowboy and Indian type thing, like wooden bench bars, right?

09:15 And then you could just see out into the rest of the police station. I guess this was probably a, I could have been there a hundred or odd years as far as I know, but it was really uncomfortable. So the policeman said, oh, do you want to go somewhere more comfortable? So I was like, well, I've got to be honest, yeah. So then this sort of paddy wagon turned up that was full of absolute bonkers, smack heads, and people that have been fighting. And I have no idea what. And I'm sat there with all these guys. And they took us to a proper prison. And you had to check in, like Blues Brothers style, where you put your stuff, empty your pockets, put them in the thing. And then we went to this room, which was my cell, and it was just this metal bench thing in the middle of the room.

09:54 room. Everything else was built into the wall, like a, and it had a TV that had like three. Very comfortable to me. TV with like three channels in Dutch. And I just slept on this sort of plastic, spongy thing in the middle of this room. And then in the morning, I had a shower in a prison. Wow. Yeah, yeah. So, so it was, yeah. And then officer justice. Should I do one then? Should I do it? Oh, yeah, please do. Yeah, good. Let's have it. Okay, I'll keep it brief. But I used to work for, I knew Richard Branson quite well because I, well, firstly, I worked for him just in a shop and I didn't really know him there.

10:40 But I also produced records for Virgin Records. So I knew him in that capacity. And also, I was in a guitarist and band and we were signed by him. In fact, the only other band he personally signed was The Sex Pistols. So he got to know us quite well. And then I was on the TV programme with him, what have you. So we went back quite a way. But when I worked in his shop, he has these summer jaunts. He's The Manor, which is a big recording studio. And he used to live there. It's a beautiful property. And he invites all the staff and what have you. And he decided to blow up his trout lake

11:20 at one of the parties as a, you know, a bit of a bit of fun and killed all these trouts. And I'm really committed to animal welfare, being a vegetarian pretty much all my life. And I was disgusted by this behavior. So I justified here. I am actually justifying it now, but I started to rip him off in the shop. And I actually stole from him. I stole quite a bit of money. And I used to, you know, barter in Liverpool with albums. And I, yeah, basically, I was a bit of a criminal there. And I got that complete with him.

11:58 I got in touch with him. He said, you remember me? And this is what I've done. In fact, what made me quite nervous, though, I first got in touch with his personal assistant and said, look, I'll send you an email. And if you don't think it's appropriate, don't send it on to him. But she got back in touch and said, you're a very brave man. And I thought, oh my God, what's he going to do? You know, anyway, he was very gracious. And he said, look, no problem. It's complete for me. Just contribute to one of my charities and then we'll call it a done deal. So that was one of mine. I had many, many, many, many actually. I won't go into it here, but I had many incompletions that I didn't realize were in the way of my life until after I got them complete.

12:43 And then there was just this clear space, you know, there was just this lightness of being that I hadn't experienced before. Yeah, I totally get that. And I think that's something I learnt through Landmark. And obviously, I've taken it on elsewhere in my life, is that those individual bits of, you don't feel them as guilt, but when you can start looking at those individual indiscretions and incompletions, people you don't get on with, before you know it, you're carrying around a couple of hundred of these little things. And what's that like on your personality or on your on your openness with other people or when you when you when you go into a record shop, how free and comfortable were you with,

13:30 you know, oh, then you were a shopkeeper, you had your own shop for a while. I had my own shop, there you go, you see. So, yeah. Well, let's start to sort of stretch out this life story a little bit. So, so what the band, where were you living? You just mentioned Liverpool. Are you from Liverpool? Yeah, no, I was brought up in the burbs, really, in the suburbs of Liverpool, in a very quiet town called McGull. But I spent a lot of time in Liverpool and then eventually moved into the centre of Liverpool. You know, Liverpool at the time, we're talking about 1977 when the whole punk thing took off.

14:08 And Liverpool had lots and lots and lots and lots of bands. And what tends to happen is if an area, like, you know, it happened with Manchester, happened with Sheffield, one band takes off. And this, you know, say Echo and the Buddy Men started to do well. I don't know if anyone knows Echo and the Buddy Men, but they were quite a, you know, they sold quite a lot of records and they were a very hip band. And then the whole of the music industry descends on an area and starts signing all the bands, you know. So you'd literally be walking down the street and you'd meet somebody and you'd say, you know, how you doing? You know, who you signed to? Yeah. And they'd say, oh, RCA, who you signed to, Virgin Records, you know, it was like that. It's literally.

14:49 literally like that. Pretty much everyone had a deal, you know. So, in that environment, it was a great place to explore the great situation to explore and to be creative. And I started to work with lots of different people, and I ended up working with Holly Johnson, who was the lead singer from Frankie Goes to Hollywood. And we actually started Frankie Goes to Hollywood together. But I wanted to be a record producer and I wanted to move to London and do that. And we were doing this very odd music. I mean, I don't know where our heads were. I've listened to it again recently and thought, What the hell is this? It was really bizarre.

15:31 I mean, one of them, we did a TV show, and I played honky-tonk piano in a white dinner suit. And Holly was on a rocking horse doing this song called Yankee Rose. Is this on YouTube? An acoustic guitar and a picture of Ronald Reagan movie as a cowboy in the background. Is this pretty much? Can we find it? Can we find the video? Do you know what? It's recently become available because I wanted to see it again and it recently became available. I think you can find it on YouTube. If you put in Yankee Rhodes, Holly Johnson, Yankee Rhodes.

16:09 I want to see this. Anyway, so we were going nowhere fast. And then I knew all the guys who ended up in Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I produced them. They were called the Egyptians, they used to be called. And I produced their demos for them. And Holly wanted to go more pop and they were doing pop. And I just said, well, you know, why don't you hook up with these guys? And he did. And then Frankie was born from that, you know. And I moved to London and I started to, I literally had 20 quid in my pocket and I started to busk on the tubes. In those days, you could busk. It was illegal, but they'd leave you alone mostly. You know, sometimes you get kicked off the spot, but generally they'd leave you alone.

16:53 And I was busking for about nine months. And then one day I'm busking in my favourite place, which is Bond Street Tuesday Station. And this guy comes and I kind of semi-recognize him. And he chucks me some money and goes, Oh my god, it's Steve Lovell. And it was a guy called Julian Cope who's in a band called The Teardrop Explodes, and they just split up. And he's a bit of a legend, he's a bit of a nutter and incredibly talented guy. And he said, Well, believe it or not, I've just come from a meeting upstairs with my manager, and we were after you as a guitarist because I've always been a fan of your guitar.

17:31 I didn't have a clue. What are the chances of that? He's upstairs talking about you like you're somewhere in the country or on this planet and you're downstairs busking. That's it. And they were literally saying, you know, how do we find him? They have no idea how to find me. And there I was busking. And he said, oh, the management will be in touch. And I thought, oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard that sort of thing before. Anyway, they did. And he said, are you like a believer in the sort of universe and synchronicity? Yeah. Do you know what I'm a believer in? I'm a believer in, I get to say how my life goes, no matter what the circumstances are. That's it. And, you know, if I'm playing music, I'm playing music.

18:13 It doesn't matter where I'm playing music. As long as I'm playing music, something will happen. That's what I really have always stood by, you know. So I just, you know, whether it's just ridiculous optimism or not, I don't know. But I kind of believed it was just going to happen. It's just going to happen somehow. You know, what are these? And these, like, is this music time? Are these wild times? Are you drinking and boozing and doing other stuff? Or are you quite a sort of level-headed guy? I mean, I don't know what that madness time or I well, I think if you look at my record next to a lot of people, I'm pretty sober, really, you know, and pretty controlled.

18:53 But it was a very dysfunctional industry to be in. Excess was the norm, you know. Yeah. You didn't get to bed most nights, you know, until the early hours in the morning. And you generally were, yeah, there was a lot of drugs, a lot of drugs, a lot of drink. And fun help me. It's always a question I'm curious about because, you know, you know, recreational drugs and stuff and raving and the sort of the generation I've grown up in, you know, those kind of subjects for me were speaking personally, were always fun. There was never a degree of peer pressure or doing it out of some sort of hope happier or anything.

19:36 Was it, do you know, was it similar for you, or did you, was it, was it fun for you or done out of necessity or to fit in or you know, that kind of question? I was always the the last man standing, to be honest. I was always the one, let's have one for the road. I was always that, you know. And I had a history in the family, you know, my uncles, you saw I could drink my mum and dad did, and it was just the norm. It was just normal for me to. And then I went into that world, and you know, there was no reason to say no at the time. You know, I was fit, I was young, I could handle it. And it was only later I realized when I moved out of London, which was about

20:17 20 years ago, 21 years ago, I realized the impact it had on me because my health wasn't great, and my mental condition wasn't. I was going to say, mental health, physical health, all of it, full health, mental health, you know, not great. And I hadn't seen it while I was in it. We don't, do we? It's just the water we swim in, you know, it's just you don't see it. Normal. And until I got out of it, yeah, it's just normalized. And I got. So when you say got out of it, there was a catalyst for leaving or leaving London or what? Well, so how it progressed was, let me just carry on with the story a little bit, just to give you some background. So, um, so I met this guy, you know, Julian Cope, and he invited me to play this band.

21:01 I became his musical arranger and guitarist. And then it didn't work out with a producer we got in. We got we went in to do a single, and this producer it didn't work out with him for one reason or another. And I said to Julian, look, I can do this, give me a job, you know. And he listened to some of my past work that I've done, just demos of people, not masters, but just demos. And he said, okay, let's give it a go. And at the time, the record company just wanted to wipe their hands of it, basically, they didn't know what to do with it. So there I am in RAC Studios, which is St. John's Wood, beautiful studio owned by Mickey Most, who did a lot of the hot chocolate and all of the sweets and bands like that.

21:43 And I've got a 40-piece orchestra and I have no idea what I'm doing at all. I mean, the engineer turned around to me at one point and said, Are the cellos loud enough? Do you think? And I'm thinking, cellos, choke. That's where you nod confidently. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think they're fine. But what, you know, what was great about that was that it was a sharp learning curve, and I learned really, really quickly. I had to, you know, otherwise I'd be finished, you know. So I went on and then, you know, produced quite a few bands and had some success, could have been more successful, but I did, you know, fairly well.

22:27 And I did that for about 20 years. And then I started to think, this isn't the life I want. You know, I remember what I used to do is I go from a break from the studio, right? And I'd walk past all these windows and look in and I'd see families. And they were watching TV and eating together. And I was thinking, that looks good. That looks good. I wonder if I could ever have that in my life. You know, I was thinking, well, with this lifestyle, there's not a great deal of chance of going to, you know, my whole life was in studios and real studios and not much chance to, you know, be out there in the world meeting people.

23:07 And then I was looking to get out, looking to get out. And I had a production company and I signed, my wife was in a band, a Brighton-based band, and I signed her to my production company. Right. And she had a ready-made family. She had three kids, split up from the relationship. We're jumping ahead here, aren't we? No, no, that's fine. It's good. We do only have an hour or so anyway. And we've got to think of our podcast listeners. So anyway, so from that point, I realized here's an opportunity to get out. And I literally just disappeared from the music business. I came, I thought, I'll earn a wage, I'll do anything, I'll paint, I'll decorate, I'll

23:52 Reginald Perring for a lot of British British sitcom fans. You did a Reginald Perring. I did a Reginald Perry and I just absolutely disappeared, you know. And then I realized, oh my God, this is what I want. You know, this is it. This is it. Family is what I was looking for for a long time in my life. And I've been in denial, really. Yeah. Yeah. So that the end of that. And what was that? So, so, and it's Rachel, is your wife, isn't it, Rachel? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, so she's in Brighton. You've moved down to Brighton. And yeah. And what did she think she was getting a record producer? And then you said, no, I don't want to do that anymore. Or she was

24:34 in on the plan. A really funny thing happened. I'll tell you really quickly. Yeah, yeah. We, you know, when you get married, I was in London, she was in Brightson. She went along to the registry office, and you've got to just do, in fact, the council office, and you've got to fill out a form and you've got to put spouses profession. And she put patient and decorator because at that point, I was painting and decorating. And I was there in London thinking, well, I'm still doing a bit of production. So I put record producer. And then we came along to meet together with the registrar. And the guy said, I was so embarrassed. He said, so what is it? Record producer, claim to decorate. I felt like this big. I was thinking of big myself up, you know.

25:19 So, yeah, so it was like that, really. But what she thought she interrupted. Sorry to interrupt. What was it like falling in love? Do you know what? I'd fallen in love before and it had been very passionate. And then, you know, after a little while dwindles, you know, as it does. Yeah. You can't keep that intensity going. And it wasn't like that with Rachel. It wasn't romance, really. She saw me interact with a little kid who came into the studio one time and she thought, that's what I want for my kids. I saw her with a ready-made family and thought, that's what I want for my life. And that's how we got together. So it actually grew over time. So our love for each other now hasn't been diminished.

26:00 It's stronger now than probably it's ever been. And I didn't know that was possible. I didn't know before this relationship that that was possible. And it is. So to some degree, you developed a friendship first, or you or well, it was. We were almost just propping each other up. She'd come out of the long-term relationship and I had as well, you know, a relationship that I thought was for life and it wasn't. And so we were just literally, it was like we were just popping each other up and supporting each other. And I used to give her advice on, you know, a relationship and how she could complete it and, you know, the legalities of it and all of that.

26:43 And helped her with all of that and buying a house and moving out. And then she helped me with just getting my head together, you know, because I yeah, I moved from being pretty, I was a bachelor for about a year in London. I moved from that lifestyle into a village, you know. It was just like mind-blowing. Three kids. And three kids. Step parent. And what age were the kids then when you moved in? So Sid was five, Daisy was nine, and Fred was 13.

27:20 So I've known them pretty much, you know, a great part of their life, you know, because Fed's in his 30s now, and Daisy's 30, and Sid's in his late 20s. So awesome kids. I've met all a little bit more than the others. I mean, just wonderful people. And then I've got a boy, so Rachel and I had who's 18 now, David. Yeah. And yeah, yeah. Well, let's come on to that in a minute. What? How did you propose to Rachel? Oh, it's a bit embarrassing, Johnny.

27:58 Good. That's good content. I hang her up and said, we're going to get married and we're going to have a baby. That's how I did it. Just no class. I didn't ask. I didn't propose at all. I just that's the way I did things in those days. I was really super arrogant. Before I did that course the Landmark Forum, which we were talking about before, I was super arrogant about things. I was just like, you know, this is what I want. This is what we're going to do. You know, and impacted all over my life. I used to drive at breakneck speed because I thought that was, you know, the laws were there for, you know, as advisory. You know, if it said 70 miles an hour, they're advising that, but it doesn't mean that.

28:43 I was a bit like that in life. Wow. So, I mean, just going off on a different tangent for a second there. Giving that up. It sounds like you couldn't have had the life you had today if you hadn't given up that arrogance. Well, absolutely not. Absolutely not. It was headed for disaster. I mean, you know, how can anybody get connected with somebody who's been like that? And I completed a lot of stuff. I mean, I'd had some infidelity as well. I'd had an affair with her best friend who was the yeah, and you know, there were lots of things that we can complete.

29:24 And when I got those completes, I could actually go forward with my life. And I'm such a different person now, completely and utterly. Wow. So I can see there is you've got goals and ambitions. Yeah. And then you've got who you're being at that time, not really congruent with those goals and ambitions. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. There were past goals and ambitions. Yeah. Or past ways of behavior. But I mean, you saw the family in the window, you saw getting out of London. You've met someone you feel you could create that with. But there was like another piece to that which came along and allowed you to be the person that's making all your goals and ambitions.

30:04 Absolutely. I mean, it came at exactly the right time because we were headed for the rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and so, I mean, this didn't mean to be a conversation on a landmark forum, but it is inspiring when it comes up like this in real conversation. Did someone invite you to do it, or did you just... Yeah, there was a local guy who we used to laugh about it because every time he was this, he was one of the dads at school. We go on the school run, and I come back and Rach would say, Have you been Anton? And what she said. Oh, Anton Pruden. Anton Prudent. Yeah, yeah. I know. Negative person I've ever met in my life. You're one of these people who say, How are you doing? And then it's like, that's the wrong question to have asked, you know, because it was just gloom and doom.

30:47 It was like, you know, he used to just pull all positivity out of you, you know. And then one day I met him and he was the most, he was incredibly positive. And he was talking about this thing called the Landmark Forum. And he kept on inviting me to these introductions. But I remember going back to Rachel and saying, oh, he's been brainwashed. You know, he must have been brainwashed because have they, you know, it's not him. Anton. Bring back the old negative Anton, please. But I saw how he transformed his life and it was sensational, actually, really sensational. And I thought, I don't know what made me think I needed to do it.

31:28 It wasn't even I need to do it. It was almost like I was just being led there by the hand, you know. There's been moments in my life, you know, with record producing or whatever, where I feel I've been led somewhere. And I just knew I've got to do it. I've just got to do it, you know. And then it's a three and a half day course. And I came out just a different person, a different view on life. Yeah. Things smelled different, things looked different. Things, you know, that I'd been hanging on to for dear life. I realized I didn't need to hang on to my views, my opinions. It just totally transformed my life. Yeah, it's hard to describe, isn't it? Yeah, totally.

32:10 I mean, I've got a similar experience myself. And a whole bunch of people I know from a new area of life, something called the SFM. It's an online digital marketing and training community. And a whole bunch of people I know from then just did. One person did the Landmark Forum a couple of months ago. Now a whole lot of other people could go on. And that sort of emotion has just swept through another group of people in my life, which is it's remarkable when you see, and I mentioned before at the beginning, there's other personal development things that happen. And I encourage anybody to seek that breakthrough in their life wherever they see it's possible. But that's just one way that we know it's possible. Well, the great thing about the Landmark Forum is it is three and a half days, and you can't imagine, can you, that three and a half days could transform your life?

32:55 Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's just ridiculous to say that, isn't it? You know, people think you're crazy, but it actually does. And, you know, there's nothing particularly original, I don't think, about materially. You can find it everywhere, and particularly the internet. But it's the context, the context. It's being in that room with a lot of different people who you find out are like-minded, you know, and the way that they share their lives has an impact on your life. Yeah. Something about it that's just magic. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Exactly. So you did that. You've made the worst proposal ever and it worked. You're now living in a sleepy village in East Sussex. You've got three stepchildren.

33:39 What, I mean, this happened to me, you know, when I proposed to my, sadly, now, former wife, when I proposed, I suddenly had a six-year-old. What was your experience of being a step-parent and how did you climb it? Yeah, well, firstly, the kids had had their dad was in quite a famous band. And he was on tour a lot. And their experience of him was that, you know, it was great to have him when he was there, but he wasn't there a lot. And so when I stepped into their life and I was this consistent person, I was available to them.

34:17 They connected really quickly. So I didn't have any of the teething problems that people often talk about about being a stepdad. We just got on really well, you know. And of course, there were times. you know, there were moments. But, you know, one thing about doing the lemma form, I thought, I'm going to be their mate. I'm not going to be their dad. I'm going to be their mate. You know, we're going to have a good life together, but I'm just going to be a friend, really, and help them, give them a bit of advice. And I realized I hadn't totally committed to them. And when I did the Lamborth Home, I made this commitment. I'm just, I'm your dad, you know, I'm your stepdad. Yeah. And that, and that made a big difference as well. Did you ever? I know they answered this question, so but for everybody else, did you call you dad, or did you ever ask them to?

35:01 Oh, they didn't call me dad, and I never asked them to, but I was that. I was that for them. I think it beats them, but I had did you create this? Did you create that with them? Did you, did you? I mean, there was teenage years when you met them. So there was, there was, there was this space to do that. Did you create that relationship with them? To a degree, you know, it's one of those things that you think you're being very significant about it. You say, you know, I've not totally been your dad in the past. I've got this back door open in my life. I've closed that door now. And I really, really want to be your dad. And they're just like, okay, yeah. All right. You know, they're not really connected. You're just there for them, you know, which is what they've needed.

35:42 Yeah. Yeah. Well, especially with kids, actions speak louder than words. So absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. No, that's very good. But it's not easy being a step parent. I mean, there's no, it isn't. And it's also very unspoken. It's not, you don't get a bunch of step parents getting together going, oh, it's a bloody nightmare, innit? I know it's a tough job, tough job. I mean, it's so rewarding, of course, particularly if a parent, such as my experience, is absent and you're taking on that role. Yeah. But it's pretty mind-blowing having three kids, you know, going from, as I say, pretty much a bachelor lifestyle, even when I was with my partner, I was living a rock and roll lifestyle, you know, and then coming to

36:22 a completely different setup and having that responsibility suddenly to three kids, it's just that. And then we had David, which followed quite shortly. So just before we anyone who's getting into a relationship as a step-parent, what would you say to them? As a couple of guiding tips. Yeah. So what I'd say is, have a look at your commitment to it, right? Have a look at what you're willing to give. Because context is everything, you know, and if you can create this context, so the context I created was we're going to have a fun, joyful, fulfilling relationship, you know.

37:04 And inside of that, you can base the whole of your life. You know, you can see where it's not working, you can see where it's working. So I think it's really getting your commitment. What are you really committed to? Because don't get involved. You see, with kids, you can't just back away from it. You know, you can't just get involved and go, no, I'm out of here. It doesn't, you know, for kids, that's a huge deal. So make sure that you, you know, you know what your commitment is firstly. And then I think, you know, the kids never had a sense of being dominated. I'm not one of these parents who said, because I told you so. Yeah. So what I did was I always explained to the kids

37:47 why I was doing something. And I also, a bit like a dog with a bone, I wouldn't let anything lie. You know, if there was an angry voice, get it sorted and get it sorted now. I think that's really important. So things won't brush into the carpet and come out later. So I'd just sit down and just talk and talk and talk and talk, you know, probably to the point where they were just like, oh, shut up for God's sake. But it worked. It worked because then they felt it was partnership rather than me, you know, being their wise adults who knew it all. It was very much partnership. And I think that is incredibly important to create that sort of relationship.

38:32 I mean, I don't generally share this that often because people think, well, for a start, they think you're sort of bragging about it and they also might think that it's a little bit weird. But I have never ever argued with my boy David, and he's 18 now. Never, ever, not once have we ever had a disagreement. Wow. And the reason for that is that he doesn't experience being dominated. Yeah. And I don't have the experience of having to dominate. Hello. Hi, yeah. How you doing? He says, How you doing? He says, How you doing?

39:13 It's in the picnic bag downstairs with Tibet's picnic yesterday. See you later. Who was that? That's Rosie. That's Rosie, of course. It is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like that, really. But, you know, I think the main thing I'd like to communicate is you're going to get it wrong. Yeah. Don't worry. You're going to screw up. Yeah. Don't worry. It's okay. As long as you're giving love to them, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. And so back to David, what you know, when Rachel told you she was pregnant, what were oh, I was super, I was super delighted. I was super delighted. How old were you? Oh, God.

39:56 Hold on. So 18. I'm 64 now. So it was 18 years ago. Can you work that one out? You're 46. There you go. I was 46 and I'd had, I thought my time's over. I didn't think I'd ever have a kid. And Rachel had had, you know, three kids. She actually lost one of them. So she'd had four kids. And she did it for me. You know, she did it for me. And obviously, very, you know, she's very glad she did it. Yeah. Yeah. But she did it for me. And it was mind-blowing. It was just a fantastic experience. Yeah. Were you at the birth?

40:37 I was at the birth. Yeah. Well, you know, she'd done it quite a few times before. So she was very much like relaxed about the whole process. Monty Python, pick that up for us, will you? Yeah, exactly. It was a bit like that. Well, I remember that the morning of, you know, when she realized she was in labour, I was getting ready for work, you know. And she said, I don't think you're going to go to work today, darling. And I went, why? She said, well, contractions. I think we're going to have it. I said, I've got a time to make a sandwich because I thought, I'm going to be there all day. But it was pretty, you know, it was almost like she was holding my hand, to be honest with you.

41:20 Yeah. And what's, you know, shortcutting 18 years, but what's your relationship like with David? I mean, obviously, I know him. I've seen him for nearly 10 years and then saw him about eight months ago. Yeah. Yeah, being a group leader at an event, talking to adults, basically, you know, he's got his own band and stuff. What's your relationship like with David? Just amazing, just amazing. Just really free, you know. But we're best mates. We're best mates. And it's very much his dad as well, but we're best mates. Do you know the difference between the relationship we would have had with our parents? Well, I certainly, you know, being my generation, was so radically different because our parents, you know, David and I, we don't dress dissimilarly.

42:10 You know, the music we listen to is pretty much the same. I mean, I used to play my dad some music and he just mind-blown. He didn't know where it was coming from. You know, because you were on a rocking horse with Rachel. Yeah, well, I didn't know. I didn't know where it was going to go either. But you know what I mean? Yeah, I got you. I got you. The divide between the generations was vast, wasn't it? Yeah. You know, the way we look, the way we talk, the politics, the culture, everything was massive. Now it's much, much narrower. So I have an experience. So I've been able to turn him on to lots and lots of music. Now he's turning me on to. So we've got this really,

42:52 it's phenomenal. It's great. You know, we'll go to a gig together. We'll go and cinema together. We'll hang out together. It's just great. You know, it's like having a best mate, really. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know, that is, you know, that's it's it's inspiring for me. It's it's the relationship I am working on with with my kids. Yeah. Um, I think it's I think the reality for someone hearing that and thinking, oh, I wish I had that, it's not something you can turn on now. And I say, oh, oh, well, but we need to fix that. We're going to make that happen today. Yeah, but look, look, look, if you can get that all we do generally in life is dominate or avoid domination.

43:36 That's our general state of being as a human being. Yeah. So we're out there in the world and you know, we're looking for agreement with our belief, our belief system, a belief system we haven't even created. We've just inherited, yeah. We were born pretty much an empty vessel and then we build this construct which becomes us and then we try and protect it, all these beliefs. And so we're trying to dominate to protect it or avoid domination to protect it. And if you can get that, then you can just realize, oh, this is how I'm communicating to my kids. You know, I'm asking them to clear up their room because I don't think it's a good idea to have a scruffy room.

44:18 Who cares? gives a bloody damn? You know, okay, they've got a bit of a scruffy room. Maybe it is good for them to tidy up again for personal hygiene, what have you, but don't make it an issue. Don't make things an issue. Don't try and thrust your ideas onto them. Give them freedom to discover, you know. And I think if you start doing that, like from today, you know, start doing that and not relating to them as I think, you know, we relate to them as kids, like they, you know, one day they're going to grow up instead of as human beings. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to treat them like this because they're a kid and that's how you should treat them. Exactly. But treat them as you would like to be treated.

45:01 Yeah. So it's not like, you know, get this done, get your homework done, do this. But it's actually sitting down and talking to them. Why don't they want to do the homework? Why don't they want to do this? Why don't they want to do that? And then just going, well, look, come on, it doesn't really work for you, does it? If you're being like that, that sort of dialogue. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's very much how I try and work with my kids as well. Yeah. And then, you know, and it does create a habit. That communication is ultimately a habit or is a way between the two of you. Perhaps if someone hasn't got that right now, a bit like you did with your stepchildren, it's right, okay, well, starting from today, we're going to begin to create it and that can grow over time, whether the kid's four months or 14, you've still time to grow that.

45:48 Yeah, and also, you know, just realizing how much of our life is lived in, you know, it should be this way. And then we have this guilt thing going on, particularly if your father is separated, you know, from a marriage. There's a big guilt trip going on. And guilt is the most useless emotion on planet Earth. You know, guilt doesn't buy you anything, it doesn't get you anything. You just got to look at what can I be responsible for here and what can I bring to the relationship with the kids and get the guilt out of the way. I mean, screw it. You know, you've screwed up here and there. We all do. It's fine. It's as pointless as jealousy, guilt. I mean, it's toxic. It's the toxic emotion that's hurts you.

46:28 Nothing. We love to indulge in it. Oh, I feel so terrible about it. It's like, well, okay, what are you going to do? That's it. Yeah. Well, listen, changing gears slightly as the old podcast in cliche. Money and health. Well, health. I'll start with health. Go for it. Yeah. So I'm so two and a half years ago, I was rushed to hospital with my bowels basically stopped working completely and utterly. And I was in severe pain. And I was blue lighted to hospital and they had to operate and they realized that it was a tumour.

47:11 And basically, this tumor had been growing over a long period of time and it blocked my bowels completely. So you can imagine for quite a long period of time I was suffering from bad. Yeah, really comfortable, that sounds, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't great. And then they discovered there was secondary, it went to my lymph nodes and then started to spread and it spread into my liver. So I had an operation on my bowels and an operation on my liver. I had what's called a stoma, which is basically it's a colostomy bag for a period of time. So the whole period was mind-blowing. I reckon, I was speaking to somebody recently, I reckon I've been to a doctor about five times ever in my life, even as a kid.

47:56 I'd never, I don't, somebody who doesn't take painkillers. I don't, I don't, you know, I've always had a healthy life. Other people get flu and colds. I don't generally. And here I was, suddenly I was sick, you know. So I've had that for two and a half years. Now I had a scan last week and the tumours were reduced by 90%. So I'm on a regime of chemotherapy at the moment. And that's working. It's working really well. I avoided it for two years because I wanted to try alternatives because chemo has a real impact, but I realized that I couldn't go on like that anymore because it got really serious, you know.

48:36 Well, what I take from that, just that simple statement is about the I've read lots about this as a growing movement around it, which is really about owning your healthcare. Definitely. I mean, I was pressed by my Macmillan nurse to go on this forum. And it's basically people who have either experienced cancer or in their family. And I got off it within about two minutes because it was all negative. The whole thing was negative. It was basically people complaining about their condition and being victims of their condition.

49:15 And I decided at that point, I'm not going to become a patient. I'm not going to. I've got, I don't wake up to cancer, I wake up to a great life and there's something to deal with. There's some something in my body that needs to be dealt with, yeah, but it's not going to consume every moment. It's not, I'm not going to be thinking about it every moment. I get to say how I'm going to be around it, and how I'm going to be around it is I'm going to live life to the max, no matter what the circumstances, yeah, yeah. So, you know, I've written a book in the time of Had Cancer, I've made an album in the time of Had Cancer. Um, next week, my wife and I are going to go on an adventure to Europe in our new camper van for three weeks.

49:57 Um, you know, I'm doing involved in a lot of stuff still. No, that's awesome. I think that's that's made a difference. Who knows what makes a difference? We don't know. I think if you do research it, then that does make a difference. Uh, Les Brown, some speaker probably people have heard of a degree of his YouTube, excuse me, degree of his YouTube videos. He refers to his cancer and how it's very similar. He's he doesn't refer to it as his illness or he doesn't refer to it as fighting it. People like to say, yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's just like it's here and we're moving through it, it's on its way.

50:36 You know, it's like this time shall come to pass type thing. And um, yeah, that's very much very much how I've approached it. But that's how I approach life in general. You know, you can be a victim, you know, of your circumstances. So you can say, Look, I get to say how it goes. I've got these dodgy circumstances, but I get to say how I'm going to be around those circumstances, you know. Yeah, and uh, yeah, it's really as I say, you know, I haven't been consumed by it, yeah, it's not in my every waking thought, which I think it is for a lot of people.

51:12 Right, I can see how the people around you are either wrapped into that sorrow and misery, you then create an atmosphere around you, your whole environment becomes negative, or people are inspired by who you're being and the future you're creating. In like, I'm hanging around here, we've got stuff to do. Well, people rarely mention it to me because how I'm being is I'm just living life, you know. Yeah, so they don't even get involved in a conversation about that, they'll mention it maybe in meeting briefly. But that's it, you know. Well, yeah, I said, speaking personally, um, it's bloody great that you're that you're here and we're doing this, so that's all positive for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could have been a goner. And how does this outlook relate to finances?

51:56 You know, you some might think that the industry was all glamorous and you were, you were, you know, there was a wash with the money or something, and then you're suddenly a painter and decorator with three kids. And, you know, what were in regards to and the relate the relevance of this, you know, obviously for people in families, finances can be tough. People who are separated, finances can get really tough when suddenly what you had becomes halved or even less. How have you managed your financial journey and dealing with money, whether there was lots of it or not enough of it? And where's that brought you to today? Well, you know, how I used to be with money was really irresponsible as a record producer.

52:36 I mean, you know, people have pay you vast amounts of money in cash, you know, and I used to put it in the attic. And then I related to it, how much have I got? Have I got this much or this much? It wasn't a pile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much should I spend this weekend? Oh, I'll spend that much because I've got that much. I was like that, you know. And then, you know, when you've got a family, obviously, you can't be like that. And you're right. I mean, I went from this, you know, you go down Saturday morning to go out and there's a check for you're pretty skint and there's a check for 20,000 pounds suddenly arrived, you know, and it's just like

53:12 that's how I live my life, you know, so it's all the family all feast. And with the family, you know, I started to have to be responsible, but there was something quite romantic about just earning a wage and actually putting effort into it. But what my wife and I did, we learned to live simply. So, you know, my experience is that if you've got money, you buy a much better bottle of wine, say, but your act of it isn't any different from a cheaper bottle of wine. It might taste different, but your action isn't any different. So when you've got money, it doesn't mean that life suddenly is, you know,

53:52 a rosier picture. You know, I mean, obviously, you need a certain amount just to survive, but I've survived on so little and learned to for us going out for cappuccino used to be the big treat. Like we wouldn't even do that. We wouldn't even do that, you know, and certainly not buying. buy a sandwich out or anything like that. So, we learned to live like that. And there was a non-attachment to it. You know, we weren't attached to it. We're fine. Yeah. Still having a great life together. So, when I started to earn a little bit more money, it was just, I was happy anyway. So, I related to money as like it wasn't going to alter who I'm being.

54:34 I was either going to have it or I wasn't going to have it. And I've got a freedom around money. And I've actually found since I've had cancer that I've actually, I'm earning a huge amount more than I've earned in the past. I'm doing less work. But I think also we undersell ourselves often. I don't know if you've had that experience, Johnny, where you kind of think, particularly, I started a coaching company. You know, I coached relationships and I coached personal coaching. I do business coaching. I don't do actual business. I do how people are being around their business. And that's really taken off in this past two and a half years while I've had cancer.

55:13 And I've really valued what I, my skills. And in the past, I hadn't done that. I've been, I can't charge that. You know, people, why would people pay that for me? And I've realized that actually I have got a voice and I've got something to say and I've got something valuable and people are willing to pay for it. Yeah. So I've actually, financially, I'm in a much, much better position now. I've got a real forward thrust with it. Yes. Do you think that to your question? Well, it does. I mean, it does. I think people need to read between the lines and see for themselves how they're being around money and the difference to what you've just outlined about how you're being about money.

55:56 I don't think it's a lack of focus or a responsibility. You know, I think it'll be quite the opposite. People panic about money. And when we panic about things, it doesn't, I mean, if we're trying to save our lives, that's probably an appropriate thing. But if we're panicking about something that ultimately it's not a panic situation, then we perhaps don't make the right decisions or we react in ways that aren't constructive. Very good. Yeah. Yeah, that's it, really. It's it's um but it's all to do with non-attachment, really. You know, I haven't got an attachment to money. I've got a freedom with money. I know that without it, I'll be fine. And with it, I'll be fine.

56:37 It's great to have a little bit of freedom with it. It's great to have a little bit of money, but it doesn't buy me happiness. I'm happy anyway. Yeah. And it's not going to buy me happiness. So, and it's easy to say that. I'm not a single parent who's struggling. It's easy for me to say that, you know, because I've got this stability in my life. So I get for a lot of people, it's very, very difficult. But I think if you can be, if you can really look at it in your association with money and get a freedom around it, get look, you know, okay, I've got no money now. I'm not going to worry about it. I'm not going to be, you know, consumed by it. I'm just going to have a freedom around it.

57:20 And then I think that generates something, you know. Yeah. Yeah. But there's so many things we could talk about. I've got some subjects about kids and advice you give them on different subjects. But can I promote my book? Oh, come on. We would definitely get on to that. But do that now because I want to finish with fun. So I'd love to hear about your book right now. Go for it. Yeah, definitely. Oh, do it now. Yeah, yeah, go for it. I've just written this book and I've just realised I've got a not-for-resale copy here and it's all a bit scruffy. But the relationship book, you can buy this on Amazon. So Steve Lovell, the relationship book, and it's very cheap. I've kept it really cheap to make it available to people. So it's £3.90 for the... It's not cheap, Steve. It's remarkably affordable. Remarkably. Exactly.

58:05 Yeah, there's me talking about relationships of money. And it's remarkably good value. It's remarkably affordable. And the e-book you can download for, I think, £2.90. So, and, and, you know, it's something that I've, yeah, I've been working on for quite a while in my relationship and also in the coaching I do. And I just wanted to give it, give, give away what I know. People can use this in their marriage or in their business relationships. It's more like a bird book, really. So what it is, is, you know, there's an introduction to a chapter, chapter about a different aspect of relationship.

58:45 And then there's exercises to do. So it's very pragmatic. And then I go on to talking about it more in depth afterwards. But you don't need to read that bit. You just need to read the chapter and do the exercises. And within a day, I say if you use these exercises within a day, things will. will shift in the relationship. If you've got some distance with your partner, something that you know your relationship doesn't quite light you up anymore, this will start to work. This is good for people whose relationship is kind of flourishing and they could take it to the next level, as well as people whose relationship is on its knees.

59:25 Absolutely. Yeah, it's both about sustaining your relationship and rekindling your relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the breakup, breakup situation. Yeah. This will assist you in that as well. Oh, and what about if you have broken up and you're at loggerheads with that person? Totally, yeah, absolutely. It will assist you. I mean, that's that would be the biggest breakthrough for me. Is you know, clearly it's not about a romantic relationship with my ex-partner. At the stage we're at, it's kind of gone beyond even being friends, sadly.

1:00:04 Yeah. I do hold out that hope to some degree simply for the benefit of the kids and every part, every time our life crisscrosses in the future. But even right now, just to be able to resolve basic day-to-day football boots at five o'clock type communication. I think the stance to always take is: I get to say how this goes. I'm 100% responsible. And not look at your partner for that. And then be prepared to give up your right to be right. Yeah. You know, and I'm not talking about being a doormat here.

1:00:43 I'm not talking about giving up your commitment to something, but be prepared to not always win the battles. Yeah. Yeah. I speak to a lot of Rosie's making her own little vlogs here. Here you go. Let me get that in there for you. Oh, what are you going to take pictures of? She's making her own videos, making her own vlogs. I mean, you know, obviously, we're clearly interrupting the podcast here, but that's also real. That's my life. Yeah, I love it. That's my important thing. What was I going to say?

1:01:28 Yeah, we were talking about giving up the right to be right. Oh, single dads. Justifying their stance and tone and behavior towards their ex based on what happened. And I try and encourage them to say, well, first of all, what you think happened may not be her experience of what happened. So how you're being back to her is based on what you think she did to you. And actually, if she didn't think she did it to you and you're being mean to her, she just experiences you being mean to her for no reason. Exactly. It's what in Landmark we call the occurring world. So we generally don't get how something is occurring for the other person.

1:02:12 We get how we think it should occur for the other person. So we're always communicating into how we think it should occur rather than how it does occur. So if you can get actually, even though you think they're totally insane, but it occurs like this, then there's access to real communication. Yeah. Which is basically what you just said. Yeah, totally. Well, listen, we'll put links to your book and everything in the show notes. And I know you're not a social media Maven, but how can people get in touch with you anyway, Steve? Oh, well, you know, I've got an email. They can get in touch with me or they can go to my website.

1:02:56 My website is stevelovellcoach.com. And should I give my email? Yes. Email me at steve levelcoach at gmail.com. I'm going to fix that for you so you become Steve at stevelevelcoach.com. I'm going to bring my digital marketing skills to you. Oh, good. Yeah. But Steve Lovellcoach, L-O-V-E-L-L coach.com. Steve Lovellcoach.com at gmail.com. Yeah. Yeah. And so just to finish, Steve, fun. Fun, like, I mean, we could sit here and talk for hours about all the fun you've had in your whole life, but right now,

1:03:37 your social life, one, one second. Wait, wait, three minutes before you go to shouting. I'll come back to you. Yeah, well, fun. What's your source of fun? How do you keep your friendships? We've spoken a lot about your relationship, but in terms of your friendship and your social life, what's your access to fun right now? now? My wife says to me, Every day has to be Christmas for you, doesn't it? And I'm like that. I am a bit like that. I'm a bit of a big kid, really. I love ice cream. I love just the simple kind of enjoyment of food. I love food.

1:04:17 I love being creative. It's very important to me, being creative. So creating music and what have you. But I think it's, you know, it's very easy as you get older to just get weighed down by all the significance, you know, the luggage and all of that. And you've really got to just create it, you know, create that fun time. And I just enjoy, like I was saying, the simple pleasures in life so much, you know, get out there, looking at the sky, you know, going for country walks, just, you know, being with the kids, those things that we kind of take for granted, really. I think that's what's important to me, just engaging with those.

1:04:59 And fun is very much with other people as well. You know, for me, it doesn't just work to do it on my own. Being with other people and generating it together. We've got 20 people coming over to the house tomorrow, landmark people. I'm going to cook loads and loads of food and just going to go in the garden and the sun. And, you know, that's fun to me. Really fun. Yeah. If you're around, John, please drop it. Tomorrow, that's Monday, isn't it? Or today? Tomorrow, tomorrow, Monday. Monday. Monday. Yeah. People at lunch on Mondays. Oh, you mean tomorrow night? No, it's evening. Tomorrow night. Okay, I got that. I got that. And I guess just finally, laughter.

1:05:40 Do you get to laugh enough? Probably not as much as I could, but I do. I'm somebody I have to run past what I'm going to say often to my wife because I'm somebody I can say really inappropriate things and I can see fun enough I think you know yeah so I used to you know get into a bit of trouble but so I run it past my wife now but laughter for me I'm I'm not a big sort of comedian fan and that sort of but I like just generating the ridiculous you know and I am kind of a little bit known for being a bit stupid really you know a bit silly creative silly but it's you know it's great isn't it I Jail I went to

1:06:24 just really really quick yeah have we got time yeah of course we have yeah I went to see the Dalai Lama Gilmore the guitarist from Pink Floyd had organized this he's a Buddhist right and he was up at the Alipali quite a few years ago and it's just a little festival very intimate and the Dalai Lama came he spoke and he spoke with all these different religious leaders and they were all sort of you know talking about Christianity and being a Muslim and they were very very significant and as they were speaking the Dalai Lama was kind of like this what's he doing you know and there was a little girl in the in the in the crowd and he was just waving to her and he was just being so

1:07:06 so free yeah you know so in not significant and having real fun and then he came on the mic and he was just making jokes and I thought wow isn't that amazing yeah that's what transformation is for me you know that's what liberation is when you can drop the significance and just get you know life's for living and just bite the other what I'd say bite the ass out of life bite the ass out of life love that's it that's my leaving comment well that's what you know I did I did a whole bunch of these podcasts uh to start with and they were all a bit serious I didn't intend them to be serious but what I wanted them to be was real you know and

1:07:46 and it was speaking to people who I thought could help dads you know and and and and the context was all about uh what do you do when this happens and what can you help dads with that happens and and I and I and I shelved it for a while and just went back to the drawing board so for me to connect with yeah listening to a podcast and it's going to be about it's going to be for dads then what do we want to do we want to put it on for an hour whilst we're cooking in the kitchen have a bit of a laugh and and and feel a little bit empathic maybe challenged by some ideas and ultimately have a couple of giggles and and that's a that's an hour well spent absolutely and you never know where inspiration comes from do you you can be very

1:08:26 significant about it yeah yeah and inspiration can come from you know a very different angle than you think yeah yeah so hopefully we've inspired a few people here maybe not and i apologize if we haven't but you know thank you no no no no doubt we have and there's so many things we have we haven't touched on uh even as i'm wrapping up here i'm thinking about things uh from our past and yeah yeah things you told me to do or not to do that i didn't listen to and you're naughty naughty boy exactly. But Steve, hold your book up again. Let's have a let's have a quick one more look at that. Amazon, Amazon, you can buy a clon. So, yeah, and I've seen some of the testimonials for that already.

1:09:07 So, I'm actually going to get myself a copy and it's a quick read anyway, isn't it? It's barely quick read, yeah. And you know, you don't have to read it all to get results. It's awesome. Well, Steve Lovell, thank you so much for being on the Super Dad podcast. Um, good friend, even you know, someone who's inspired my life. Um, like I said, it's not easy being a stepdad and knowing those three kids that have been part of your life. I know how touched and inspired they've been by you. David is a real credit, he's as well as being a little you. He's he's such a character in himself. And I love how he's,

1:09:48 you know, he doesn't worry about conventions, he's so much his own spirit. And that's a testimony to any parent as well. Yeah, um, and your relationship with Rachel, such a, such a strong couple, and and the people around you are so benefited by you being in their lives. So, thank you for being here. Thank you, Johnny. That's a great acknowledgement. Thank you. I wouldn't be able to receive that in the past, but I'm receiving it now. So, thank you. Awesome. Thank you, Steve. I'm going to hit stop recording. We'll see you soon. Wow, that was awesome. I hope you enjoyed that interview with Steve Lovell. Plenty more interviews coming up with other dads just like Steve.

1:10:36 Maybe some mums as well. You know, there's two sides to this for sure. If you are a dad or you know someone who you think would be an awesome guest to have on the Team Super Dad podcast, maybe there's someone you would like me to chat to, then send them my way, put them in touch, send them over to the Team Super Dad page on Facebook. That's facebook.com, Team Superdad, or Twitter, Instagram. They both both Team Superdad HQ. And of course, you can email me at johnnyjenson at teamsuperdad.com. What's coming up next? Well, the rebuild program is there's the kickoff of the pilot in October. If you are interested in being part of that, then there's loads of benefits and bonuses for being on the on the uh the first group.

1:11:18 So get in touch with me now and speak to me about that. If this is you're listening to this on like a box set, like if you're binge in this, then you can be sure that the rebuild program will be kicking off in just a couple of weeks, probably. They run every two to three months. So you can be sure there's one coming up. And you can get inside the Team Superdad HQ. That's the insider group with the regular coaching sessions and meetups and basically getting all the help and accountability and support you need from both myself, other coaches, and the rest of the Super Dad community. Subscribe to this podcast. Please share it. If you're on YouTube or watching the video anywhere, then please also subscribe there and hit us up some likes.

1:12:01 You can be sure they are all go towards promoting and helping the Team Super Dad. That is the problem of trying to speak too fast. That is the best way liking and sharing and putting reviews in for this podcast, for this video, subscribing to the channel. That is the best way of helping me make the Team Super Dad podcast and community as successful as possible. So your support is welcome and appreciated, much like your time today listening to this. Team Super Dad out. I'll speak to you soon. Bye. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at TeamSuperdad.com.

1:12:47 Join the rebuild program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.