Put The Right People Around You - Engage

00:01 Hello, Team Super Dad crew. Putting the right people around you is absolutely vital. Get it right and they will lift you up. Get it wrong and they will drag you down. That's how you live with power. Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Howdy people. Welcome to the Team Super Dad live to the podcast. You are here with me, Johnny Jensen, dad coach and founder of Team Super Dad.

00:46 We are helping frustrated midlife dads reconnect what they want and discover the power to make it happen. If you have not joined us before, welcome to your Team Super Dad cherry popping event. Why am I making a virgin reference? I don't know. Perhaps it's because it's been my birthday this week. Perhaps it's because we are looking at the first part of Engage, which is one of my favorite parts of the power code process. If you're watching this, if you're joining in, then we are on most of the socials. Thanks to the wonderful people at StreamYard. You can comment and I will see it coming in most of the places.

01:31 And I will put this on in the Facebook group so I can make sure I see those comments here. If you haven't joined the Team Superdad Facebook group, then get yourself over to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group and you can come and join the Facebook group. We are modern dads living powerfully. As I said, creating the life you desire, not the life you feel stuck in. See, there we go. We have someone commenting. It says Facebook user. I think there's a link in most of the comments, like in the event pages. If you go to streamyard.com forward slash Facebook, it will do the magic sync up thing.

02:13 And then you actually get to see your name come through on the Facebook posts. But anyway, whatever you need, try and get on the comments. Invite other people in as this starts to go live. Today's episode is about putting the right people around you. So spread the word, share, click that share button and let's bring some more people in on the live. Of course, you can subscribe to the podcast on any of the, there's thousands of them, right? Apple Podcast, Spotify, TuneIn, Google, whatever they call it, Google Play. Get yourself, get this Team Superdad podcast subscribed and just share.

02:54 Wherever you're catching this, share. And if you've got any questions, things you want me to cover, right now we're doing, we're going right through the power code. The power code is my process. It's at the heart of all my training with dads. It's really a principle for living. So it's your purpose. It's your ownership. So really your mindset. The purpose is the vision and direction you're headed. The ownership, your mindset, and the clarity of thinking that has you be a winner into do the work. Basically, your habits and routines, the super dad lifestyle that have you overcome the challenges and actually start to create that life you desire.

03:35 And then the final two parts, E for engage and R for reward. E for engage. We're going to talk about that today. The people you put yourself around, the quality time you spend with your children and the absolute awesome relationship that you can create with the person you love. Very, very... See, that's why I love this part. It's not just fun. It's everything. It's the heart stuff. It's the sex stuff. It's the support when you need it. But we'll come on to that in more detail. And then the R for reward. If you're not having fun, you know, if you're not celebrating your wins, if you haven't got things to look forward to and memories to look back on, then what's the bloody point?

04:15 As my dad always says, son, you need to have more fun. And at 80 years old, we saw him last week for the coronation. He was still getting pissed with his mates, having a laugh. And quite frankly, given that's what we were doing when we were 18, 20, 25, 30, why wouldn't you be doing at 80 when you've retired and got nothing better to do? So kudos to my dad and to all dads out there. Lord Lee Dickinson. Hello, Lord Lee Dickinson. Is that your dad? Is that you? But keep commenting on the post. It's good to have you here with us.

04:57 And share, share, share, share. So. So, engage. There's elements to engage. There is basically what do we call it? We call it your friends, your family, your mentors, and your trusted partners. And we're going to do oh, we're going to do family basically and love in next week's episode. But today, we're going to talk about friends and mentors. Jim Rohn, I love Jim Rohn, right? My early parts of my personal development coaching journey, Tony Robbins, obviously. I was one of those people, the classic sat there at midnight, as it was back in the day.

05:40 I was probably stoned. And Tony Robbins was on the video, the infomercial, right? So I'm watching the infomercial. I'm like, this guy is awesome. What did I buy? Oh, my gosh. Power. No, not power to create. That's a landmark course. Awaken the giant within. Obviously, obviously the classic. But Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar, two giants in the personal development and coaching world going back into the 70s and 80s. One of Jim Rohn's famous, I guess they call them quotes basically, is that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

06:25 And I put this in the store, in the show notes, the story or whatever. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. They determine what conversations dominate your attention and they shape who you are. Now, you can find versions of that wherever you look. And other people have maybe he stole it, other people have borrowed it. What do they call it? Your sphere of influence, the power of six, like there's all different versions of it. But it makes sense, right? If you took a young child and it might not be that interesting for them, but I mean, Jesus, if you even look at some of the stories of the Bible, how he would go and sit and listen to the elders, you know, sit and speak.

07:08 And I'm absolutely paraphrasing the Bible awfully there. I know he'd go and sit in the marketplace or whatever and watch them. But equally, you know, apprenticeships, you know, you take someone who's unskilled in an area, you put them into a business and they work alongside, they learn from people above them. That is an apprenticeship, but that's also mentoring as well. You know, finding a mentor, we'll talk about in a bit, but it's the power of the people that you place yourself around. Equally, on a negative point of view, if you're trying to give something up, if you're trying to give up smoking, or if you're an alcoholic, right?

07:53 The worst thing you want to do is put yourself around people that are smoking, people that are drinking booze. If you got yourself hooked on flipping crack or something, like you just don't want to go to the places where those people are. That is the exact example of this negative force in practice. So, but in everyday life, it actually stands the same. It's the people that you put yourself around who you're going to learn the most from. If you put yourself around toxic, negative people, guess what? You're going to have a toxic, negative life. If you put yourself around fit people, adventurers, people who are up to stuff at the weekend, have a busy social life, you are going to get caught up in that wave and it's going to propel you forwards.

08:40 Or, you know, like the expression about a rising tide lifts all boats. You want to be part of that rising tide, not part of the shit show that's going down. So when you're looking at creating the life that you desire, when you're looking at putting the power back into yourself, have a look at the people you're spending the most time with. And if you are guilty of lone wolf syndrome, if you're guilty of trying to do too much on your own, you will come to the conclusion, as I did at one point, as you know, as I was rebuilding myself after the breakup, it was a bleak time and I was very conscious of aspects of this.

09:20 In fact, the principles of the power code are based purely on my journey of rebuilding myself after the breakup and the divorce, right? And one part of that is your social circle. But I'll just finish that story, right? I became aware that in terms of the five people I spent the most time with, one of them was Bartak, the checkout guy at Liddle, who he works evenings. I talk to everybody everywhere. So, you know, in terms of the number of people I was speaking to each week, Bartak was one of them. Good lad. lad, um, but you know, not, you know, he's just a lad, right? He's not going to be a mentor. And Laura, one of the receptionists at my gym, uh, good morning, Laura, how are you doing, Laura?

10:07 I need to get out more. I need to address my networking and my mentor circle. So, start to like don't you don't need to take it too seriously. You can you can look at this from a from a comical point of view at first to realize exactly where you are at, right? So, let's let's lean into that mentors bit, right? You in business, and quite often people will put this in place because it's important because they're like, Yes, I need to succeed in my business, I need to learn, I need to put myself around people who I can network with or partner with, and trusted partners falls into this as well.

10:49 But you go and join a business mastermind, you go and go, you go to a weekend event, uh, you might go to a networking uh on a regular basis, so it's quite easy, it would seem to address this business mentoring. My dad, to talk about him again, he often comments on people he worked for when he was a young lad. You know, John Liddell. No, I don't, I dare say I've met John Niddell when I was a kid, but to me, it's just a name, it's where my dad worked when he was when he was a young, when he was a young lad, up and coming in the motor industry. Um, Lee Davy, another older guy who was both a friend and mentor to my dad.

11:30 And I know when he talks about some of our family in Chicago and some of the people he's met there, they were influential in his life in terms of living this balls-out adventure. It's all about the power of who you can network with and work with. And so, who are you in your professional life seeking out? Who are you learning from? Who are you? Careful not to lean into the partner bit here for just now, but I've taken it upon myself to participate in a number of business masterminds. Daniel Priestley, um, I can't consider him a friend, but if I bumped into it in a networking event, he would recognize me and we would say hello.

12:13 That's because I was on Key Person of Influence, that's because I've been part of his events and groups. When so, whether I'm watching a video of his or sitting around a table of 10 people or being at an event with a thousand people, all of which I've done, I can say that man has guided and influenced some of many of the choices I've made in my business. It's not like I had to seek him out and beg him to be a mentor, I was able to access that through his courses and events and being part of that community. My current crop of coaches, Phil Harrison, Rob McVeigh, like these are small mastermind groups where you're able to network and learn from people who've either invested in themselves at a higher level or they're a

13:06 bit older or they've performed to a better level. It's about learning from the people who've done what you want to do. And if you're one of the smartest people in the room, then you need to upgrade your room. That's that's the basic reality of it. LinkedIn, a wonderful place, of course, to very easily find these people. It's not like you have to struggle to find these people. So, quality audit, quality assess your mentor group. Who are you learning from? Where do you want to get to? Who's done that before? Um,

13:43 who has got values that you can relate to that you want to aspire to or the success that you want to aspire to? If you've seen people, if you read their book or you've seen them on YouTube, and then you've read their book, do they have an event? How could you get to be part of that person's inner circle? Um, and on that one-to-one level, don't be afraid to ask people. You know, an amazing guy, George McGuerin, had him on the podcast, and he said to me at the end of it, I like what you're doing, I think you're a great guy. You know, you've got my number, don't be shy to call me. And he has inputted into me

14:25 not on a weekly basis, but on a sort of six-monthly basis over the last couple of years, just had that call with him. Who have you got in your world in your phone book that you could count on like that? If it's if you haven't spoken to them for a while, reach out to them. If you haven't got them there, go out and find them. Remember, if you are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with, and we're talking about business. who could those five people be and you need to make sure that they are above you in front of you further than you so that you can um you know be be dragged along by their power and success thomas power and penny power wonderful people huge network very

15:08 valued friends and mentors make it happen Don't be afraid to ask people. That's what I'm saying in regards to George McGuerin. Don't be afraid to follow up and ask people. Can I count on you? Can I call you every now and again? Yeah, sure. Do it. So on to friends, let's go trusted partners, trusted partners, because it fits very neatly into the mentors. Who you can count on around business, who you can count on, because this leads into friendships as well. But you don't want to be a lone wolf in business. You don't want to be working hard and spending all your time trying to grow the business, spending all your time servicing clients and not networking with other people, other people in your industry, other people within your community or geographical area.

15:59 Going networking, being part of breakfast groups, being part of online groups. You know, Team Superdad is a community. It's a community of modern, a lot of us are business owning men, certain percentage are single dads. You know, it's very much about people in a stage of life, generally around our 40s, who want more. And because we're of a like mind and we're in a situation, a life stage that's very similar, we're able to learn from each other and elevate from each other. So your trusted partners in business is key.

16:41 If you've got a good accountant, if you've got a good insurance broker, if you've got a good supplier, like lean into those relationships, find out where they're meeting with people. And if they're not meeting with people, you could suggest it. It's not enough to say, I don't know where those things are, or I don't know how to get involved. You just have to lean into it and make it happen. Having trusted partners is vital to the success and growth of your business. The BNI for whatever, however you value that or whatever you think of it, 4N, these breakfast networking events, at the very least, you are mixing with people in your community.

17:23 So when someone says, oh, I know a guy, he does something for dads in your situation. Yeah, Johnny, Johnny Jensen, yeah, give him a call. He'll help you out. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. The difference is most of you won't be doing it. So get off your ass and build up your trust, your network of trusted partners. Again, look through your contacts list and put a star or an asterisk against people you could think or you could count on. Maybe you could organize that dinner, that networking event, that mastermind event. Putting 10 people around the table and saying, what's going on? What problems you got? Why are you winning? What can we do for each other is incredibly powerful.

18:05 And so finally, in today's session, we've gone mentors, we've gone trusted partners, and now that leans in beautifully to friendships because there's no reason why your mentors and trusted partners can't be your friends. And if all your friends are shitheads, that doesn't mean you have to jettison them or bin them, right? You can value them for what they are. If they're the people you go out and have a laugh with, get, you know, a weekend break, some kind of kickback, drink beer, and have a laugh, then that's absolutely fine. It's when that's all you have that it's not enough, right? You can't just remember the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

18:48 If that's all you've got, then that's all you'll be getting and it will drag you down. The quality of your friends, whilst you can't necessarily go back in time and fix that, you can aspire to a higher quality of friends. As men, as dads, so common to hear it's hard to make friends, it's hard to find friends. And genuinely, it is. I'm not going to sit here and say, oh, yeah, I've made hundreds of new friends over the last few years. Most of my quality friendships go back 25, 30 years to people I went to school with, to people I went to university with. How often, though, are you keeping in touch with those people? How often are you ringing them, seeing them, planning a weekend away with them?

19:33 These old friendships are only a value if you keep them alive, if you keep stoking the fire. A lot of my friends will comment when they speak to me of, oh, I only hear about everyone else. else when I speak to you, and that's because I'm the one that's calling people. I'm the one that's that's that's seeing people. And of course, it's easier when you've when you're still in the same area. Um, the people I went to uni who still live in and around Stafford still see each other a lot, and that's great. It would be too easy though for me to say, Oh, just because I don't live there, I'm not going to do that. You have to make the effort.

20:09 And in regards to finding new friends, building that social network around you, it isn't going to happen by accident, right? You've you've you've got to be the person that chats, you've got to be the person on the touchline at the football match for your kids who speaks to each and every one of the parents. Don't expect it to instantly be brilliant and easy. You've got to nurture those relationships in order to find good friends, people that you connect with, particularly at our age, because we're not naturally at a club or not naturally following an interest or a hobby where we're going to meet those like-minded people.

20:52 You've got to go out there and find it. If it's dating, you likely need to kiss a few people before you find the right one. And it's not that different with friends. I'm not going to encourage you to go around kissing other dads on the touchline at football, but you get the point. So, again, do an audit, have a look, go back through your life. Who are all the people? And we do this inside the power code. We call it, I haven't got a funkier name for it, we call it the friend list. Do you see what I did there? So, you call it the friend list and you make a list of all the people you've ever had a friendship with that was valued or worthwhile, something that was fun, right?

21:33 Even people you haven't spoken to for 25 years, they're easy enough to find on Facebook. I have friends from Chicago who I spent all my childhood summers with. You know, we're talking literally, how old am I? 48, I was 48. Oh, no, I'm 49, I was 49 yesterday. We're talking people I've been friends with since I was nine and 10 years old. Only through the power of Facebook is that so easy to maintain. But then, when I go to Chicago, guess what? I can call them, I can go out for a beer. There's people there ready to see me and to hang out with, and that is the power of maintaining those friendships.

22:09 So, make the list: who are they? When was the last time you spoke to them? Could you send a video, you know, create a WhatsApp group or make a video and send it out to them all? Um, what about the people that really mattered? You know, when was the last time you spoke to those? How regularly do you speak to them as part of the super dad lifestyle? One of the key metrics is speaking to or seeing a friend every week. It will blow your mind when you sit and think about this. How often do you speak to the people you value?

22:47 So, are you calling a friend a week? Now, as blokes, we think it's weird. Like, oh, fine if you see them face to face, but oh, that's my front door. Hold tight, bloody Amazon. There's me thinking it's important. Uh, sorry, and thank you. We're back briefly. Um, friend list, mentors, make your friend list, reach out to them. Yes, friends. Are you seeing your friends on a regular basis? Literally, make it happen, okay? And that's that how that escalates, okay? So, you want to speak to a friend at least once a week.

23:29 You want to make a plan to some people, this will be obvious. To some people, they'll be in the pub or they'll be on the golf course every single week, and that's fine. Um, but again, look at the quality of those people. What are you getting from it? If it's simply about having a laugh, then absolutely brilliant. If it's something you want more to go on more, to have more fun, to go on more adventures, to go away for the weekend, be prepared to be the one that makes it happen. Be the prepared to be the one that puts it out there. Let's do this on that weekend.

24:07 Uh, I'm not sat here being the guru of all these things. It's been my birthday this week, and I was somewhat guilty of only sending out, speaking to, inviting people about a week ago. But suffice to say, we are going to the pub tonight, and then those bigger events-whether it's booking tickets for a concert, buying a weekend away, or actually planning that lad's ski holiday, if you don't make make it happen, then you haven't got that thing in your diary to look forward to. And having things to look forward to is incredibly powerful in terms of your mental health and your positive focus on your future.

24:52 It's not that we haven't got pressures at home. It's not that we haven't got the business to run or our job to manage. Those things are going to be ever present. traffic on the roads, the train strikes, the bullshit in the world today, they are inevitable. So be the one that ensures that your fun and that your social life and that the joy that you're getting from those relationships is also inevitable. As I like to say, things to look forward to, memories to look back on. And that's my message for today, really. Next week, we will talk about relationships like your love life and the quality time with your kids.

25:35 So it's basically the family side of engage we will cover off next week. Engage is a magic part of the power code because everything else leading up until this point, the purpose, the ownership and doing the work is all about you. It's about your focus, your mindset, the plans that you're executing upon. When you bring engage into it, it's where you bring other people. Being the lone wolf is incredibly draining and it is unsustainable. You have to have good people around you to learn from, to laugh with.

26:12 And also, as my final point on today's show, is when you are having a tough time, you want to be damn sure that you've got people around there to catch you, to support you. And if you do happen to hit rock bottom, that there's a handful of people you can count on to bring you back up. Because without it, that's when despair really, really kicks in. And when you are going through a tough time, the idea of despair or being on your loan, it will quickly make that descent faster. So engage, put good people around you, your mentors, your trusted partners, and your friends. If you've got any questions about this or simply want some help putting your friend circle together,

26:56 of course, as always, jump on a Team Superdad discovery call. Simply go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash 15 call and you can get into a chat with me. We'll talk about everything that we do here in the power code and the one-on-one coaching and basically all the events that we've got coming up. I would love to have you on board for that and be part of your journey to create the life that you desire. Share, comment, save review, put it on a stick and wave it in the air. This has been the Team Super Dad.