Put The Right People Around You - Engage

00:01 Hello Team Superdad Crew! Putting the right people around you is absolutely vital. Get it right and they will lift you up, get it wrong and they will drag you down that's how you live with power. Roll themes Welcome to Team Superdad. Real dads creating their best lives ever! More time, more money, more fun You are not alone you're on team super dad Howdy people! Welcome to the Team Superdad live to the podcast. You are here with me, Jonnie Jensen Dad coach and founder of Team Superdad We are helping frustrated midlife dads reconnect what they want and discover the power to make it happen If you have not joined us before welcome to your team super dad cherry popping event

01:02 Why am I making a Virgin reference? I don't know. Perhaps it's because it has been my birthday this week, perhaps is because we are looking at the first part of Engage which is one of my favourite parts of the Power Code process If you're watching this and joining in then we are on most of the socials thanks to the wonderful people at StreamYard You can comment and I will see coming in most of the places And I will put this on in the Facebook group so i can make sure I see those comments here. If you haven't joined the Team Superdad

01:39 Facebook group, then get yourself over to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group and you can come and join the Facebook group we are modern dads living powerfully as I said creating the life you desire not the life if you're stuck in see there we go we have a someone commenting it says Facebook user So if you, I think there's a link in most of the comments like in the event pages. If you go to Streamyard.com forward slash Facebook it will do the magic sync up thing and then you actually get to see your name come through on the Facebook posts but anyway whatever you need try and get on the comments invite other people in as this starts to go live today's episode is about putting the right people around you so

02:29 Spread the word, share. Click that share button and let's bring some more people in on the live. Of course you can subscribe to the podcast on any of the... there are thousands of them right? Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, Google whatever they call it, Google Play get yourself, get this Team SuperDad podcast subscribed and just share wherever you're catching this share If you've got any questions, things you want me to cover right now we're doing. We're going right through the power code. The power code is my process is that the heart of all my training with dads too it's really a principle for living so it's your purpose

03:13 It's your ownership, so really your mindset. The purpose is the vision and direction you're headed. The ownership, your mindset and the clarity of thinking that has you be a winner in to do the work basically your habits and routines that super dad lifestyle that have you overcome the challenges and actually start to create that life you desire And then the final two parts E for engage and R for reward E for engage, we're going to talk about that today. The people you put yourself around the quality time you spend with your children and the absolute awesome relationship that you can create with a person you love

03:51 Very, very... See that's why I love this part. It is not just fun it's everything! It's the heart stuff, it's the sex stuff, it's the support when you need it but we'll come on to that in more detail and then the R for reward if you're not having fun, you know? If you're not celebrating your wins, if you haven't got things to look forward to or memories to look back on then what's the bloody point as my dad always says son You need to have more fun. And at 80 years old, we saw him last week for the coronation he was still getting pissed with his mates having a laugh and quite frankly you know given that's what we were doing when we were 18 20 25 30 why wouldn't you be doing it at 80 when you've retired and got nothing better to do? So kudos to my dad

04:46 Lord Lee Dickinson. Hello, Lord Lee Dickinson Is that your dad? Is that you? But keep commenting on the post it's good to have you here with us and share! Share share share So engage there are elements to engage There is basically what we call it We call it your friends Your family Your mentors And your trusted partners Oh, we're going to do family basically and love in next week's episode. But today we're going to talk about friends and mentors Jim Rohn I love Jim Rohn right my early parts of my personal development coaching journey

05:33 Tony Robbins, obviously. I was one of those people the classic sat there at midnight as it was back in the day. I was probably stoned and and Tony Robbins was on on the video, the infomercial right? So I'm watching the infomercial. And like this guy is awesome! What did i buy... oh my gosh Power... no not power to create that's a landmark cause Awaken The Giant Within obviously obviously the classic But Jim Rohn and Zig Ziggler, two giants in the personal development and coaching world going back into the 70s and 80s. One of Jim Rohn's famous

06:17 I guess they call them quotes basically, is that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And i put this in there in the store...in the show notes or story whatever You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with They determine what conversations dominate your attention and they shape who you are Now you can find versions of that wherever you look but and other people have Maybe he stole it, other people have borrowed it. What do they call your sphere of influence? The power of six like there's all different versions of it but it makes sense right if you took a young child and might not be that interesting for them but I mean Jesus even look at the stories in the Bible how He would go and sit and listen to the elders you know sitting and speak and I'm absolutely paraphrasing the Bible awfully awfully there

07:13 I know, you go and sit in the marketplace or whatever and watch them. But equally, you know apprenticeships, you take someone who's unskilled in an area, you put them into a business and they work alongside, they learn from people above them that is an apprenticeship but that's also mentoring as well You know, finding a mentor we will talk about in it in a bit. But if the power of the people that you place yourself around equally on a negative point of view... If you're trying to give something up yeah? If you're trying to give up smoking or if you're an alcoholic right? The worst thing you want to do is put yourself around people that are smoking

07:57 People that are drinking booze, if you've got yourself hooked on flipping crack or something like where you just don't want to go to the places where those people are. That is the exact example of this negative force in practice so But in everyday life it actually stands the same. It's the people that you put yourself around who you're going to learn the most from if you put yourself around toxic negative people guess what? You can have a toxic negative life if you put yourself around Fit people, adventurers. People who are up to stuff at the weekend have a busy social life you are going to get caught up in that wave and it's going to propel you forwards or like the expression about a rising tide lifts all boats You want to be part of that rising tide not part of the shit show that is going down

08:52 When you're looking at creating the life that you desire, when you're looking at putting the power back into yourself have a look at the people you are spending most time with. And if you are guilty of lone wolf syndrome if your guilty trying to do too much on your own You will come to conclusion as I did at one point As I was rebuilding myself after the breakup it was a bleak time and I was very conscious of aspects of this The principles of the power code are based purely on my journey of rebuilding myself after the breakup and divorce. And one part of that is your social circle, but I'll just finish that story right? I became aware in terms of five people I spent most time with one of them was Bartak, the checkout guy at Lidl who

09:45 He works evenings. I talk to everybody everywhere so you know in terms of the number of people are speaking to each week Bartak was one good lad, but not You know he's just a lad right isn't it's not gonna be a mentor and And Laura one other receptionist at my gym Good morning, Laura how you doing Laura? I need to get out more! I need to address my networking and my mentor circle So start like You don't need to take it too seriously. You can look at this from a comical point of view, first, to realize exactly where you are at right? So let's lean into that mentors bit right? In business and quite often people will put this in place because it is important because they're like yes I need to succeed in my business, I need to learn, I need to put myself around

10:43 People who I can network with or partner with, and trusted partners falls into this as well. But you go and join a business mastermind you go to a weekend event, you might go to networking on a regular basis so it's quite easy it would seem to address this business mentoring. My dad, talk about him again he often comments on People he worked for when he was a young lad, you know John Liddell. Now I don't dare say I met John Liddell when i was a kid but to me it's just a name where my dad worked when he was a young lad up and coming in the motor industry. Lee Davey another older guy who was both a friend and mentor too to my dad

11:30 I know when he talks about some of our family in Chicago and some of the people he's met there, they were influential in his life. In terms of living this balls-out adventure it's all about the power of who you can network with and work with. And so who are you in your professional life seeking out? Who are you learning from? Careful not to lean into the partner bit here for just now but I've taken it upon myself to participate in a number of business masterminds. Daniel Priestley, um...I can't consider him a friend but if i bumped into at a networking event he would recognize me and we would say hello that's because I was on Key Persons of Influence that's because I've been part of his

12:18 I've been in a lot of different events and groups. So whether i'm watching the video of his or sitting around the table with 10 people, or being at an event with 1000 people all which I have done, I can say that man has guided and influenced some many choices I made in my business It's not like I had to seek him out and beg him to be a mentor Crop of Coaches, Phil Harrison, Rob McVie. Like these are small mastermind groups where you're able to network and learn from people who've either invested in themselves at a higher level or they're a bit older or they perform to a better level It's about learning from the people who have done what you want to do

13:13 And if you're one of the smartest people in the room, then you need to upgrade your room. That's that's the basic reality of it. LinkedIn a wonderful place, of course, due to very easily find these people with its not like you have to struggle to find these people so quality as quality audit quality assess your mentor group who are you learning from? Where do you want to get to who's done that before Who has got values that you can relate to, that you want to aspire to or the success that you want to aspire to? If you've seen people if you read their book or you see them on YouTube and then you've read their book. Do they have an event? How could you get to be part of that person's inner circle? And on that one-to-one level don't be afraid to ask people! You know, an amazing guy George McGarran had him on the podcast

14:12 And he said to me at the end of it, I like what you're doing. I think you're a great guy here. You know, you've got my number don't be shy to call me and he has inputted into me not on weekly basis but on a sort of six monthly basis over the last couple years just had that call with him who have you got in your world in your phone book that you could count on like that? If you haven't spoken to them for a while, reach out to them. If you haven't got them there go out and find them! Remember if you are the sum total of the five people who spend most time with and we're talking about business who could those five people be? And you need to make sure that they are above you in front of you further than you so that you can be dragged along by their power and success Thomas Power and Penny Power wonderful people huge network very

15:08 Valued friends and mentors. Make it happen! Don't be afraid to ask people, that's what I'm saying in regards to George McGarran. Do not be afraid to follow up and ask people can I count on you? Can i call you every now and again yeah sure do it so on to friend let us go trusty partners trusted partners because it fits very neatly into the mentors who who you can count on around business who you can count on because this list leads into friendships as well but You don't want to be a lone wolf in business. You don't want to be working hard and spending all your time trying to grow the business, spending all your time servicing clients and not networking with other people, other people in your industry or within your community or geographical area. Going networking being part of breakfast groups being part of online groups you know Team Superdad is a community it's a community

16:11 Modern, a lot of us are business owning men. Certain percentage are single dads you know it's very much about people in a stage of life generally around our 40s who want more and because we're ever like mind and were in situation or life stages that is very similar We're able to learn from each other and elevate from each other so your trusted partners in business is key If you've got a good accountant, if you've got a good insurance broker. If you've got a good supplier like lean into those relationships find out where they're meeting with people and if they're not meeting the people you could blaming suggest it

16:59 It's not enough to say I don't know where those things are or i don't know how to get involved. You just have to lean into it and make it happen having trusted partners is vital to the success and growth of your business, the BNI for whatever however you value that or whatever you think of it 4N these breakfast networking events at the very least you are mixing with people in your community so when someone says I know a guy, he does something for dads in your situation. Yeah Jonnie Jensen? Give him a call! He'll help you out. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know the difference is most of you won't be doing it so get off your ass and build up your network of trusted partners again look through your contacts list

17:45 And put a star or an asterisk against people you could think, or you could count on. Maybe YOU could organise that dinner, that networking event, that mastermind event? Putting 10 people around the table and saying what's going on, what problems have you got why are you winning, what can we do for each other is incredibly powerful! And so finally in today's session, we've gone mentors. We've gone trusted partners and now that leans in beautifully to friendships because there's no reason why your mentors and trusted partners can't be your friends. And if all your friends are shitheads that doesn't mean you have to jettison them or bin them right? You can

18:25 Value them for what they are. If they're the people you go out and have a laugh with, get you know... A weekend break some kind of kickback drink beer and have a laugh then that's absolutely fine It's when that all you have there it's not enough right? You can't just remember the average of those five people who spend most time with if That's all you've got then that's all you'll be getting and it will drag you down The quality of your friends Whilst you can't necessarily go back in time and fix that, you can aspire to a higher quality of friends. As men as dads it's so common here it's hard to make friends, it's hard to find friends and genuinely? It is! I'm not going to sit here and say oh yeah I've made hundreds of new friends over the last few years most of my quality friendships go back 25-30 years to people I went to school with, to people I went to university with How often though are you keeping in touch with those people how often do

19:29 Ringing them, seeing them planning a weekend away with them. These old friendships are only of value if you keep them alive If you keep stoking the fire A lot of my friends will comment when they speak to me I only hear about everyone else when i speak to you and that's because I'm the one that is calling people on the ones that see in people And of course, it's easier when you're still in the same area. The people I went to uni who still live in and around Stafford still see each other a lot and that's great! It would be too easy though for me to say oh just because I don't live there I'm not going to do that You have to make the effort. In regards to finding new friends building that social network around you...it isn't gonna happen by accident right?

20:22 You've got to be the person that chats. You've got to be the person on the touchline at a football match for your kids who speaks to each and every one of their parents, don't expect it instantly to be brilliant and easy you've got to nurture those relationships in order Good friends, people that you connect with. Particularly at our age because we're not naturally at a club or not naturally following an interest or hobby where we're going to meet those like-minded people You've got to go out there and find it If its dating then you likely need to kiss a few people before you find the right one And its not that different with friends I'm not going to encourage you to go around kissing other dads on the touchline of football but you get the point So

21:10 Again, do an audit. Have a look go back through your life who are all the people and we do this inside the power code? We call it... I haven't got a funkier name for it! We call it The Friend List. Do you see what I did there?! So you call it the friend list and you make a list of all the people you've ever had a friendship with that was valued or worthwhile, something that was fun. Even people you haven't spoken to for 25 years they're easy enough to find on Facebook I have friends from Chicago who i spent all my childhood summers with now we're talking literally 48 this is 49 yesterday

21:51 We're talking people I've been friends with since i was nine and ten years old. Only through the power of Facebook is that so easy to maintain, but then when I go to Chicago guess what? I can call them! I can go out for a beer there's people they're ready to see me and to hang out with and that is the power of maintaining those friendships. So make the list who are they when was the last time you spoke to them Could you send a video, create a WhatsApp group or make a video and send it out to them all? What about the people that really mattered. When was the last time you spoke those how regularly do you speak to them as part of the Superdad lifestyle one of their key metrics is speaking to or seeing a friend every week

22:39 It will blow your mind when you sit and think about this. How often do you speak to the people you value? So are you calling a friend a week now as blokes we think it's weird like oh fine if you see them face-to-face but that's my front door hold tight bloody Amazon there's me thinking it's important sorry and thank you, we're back briefly Friend list mentors make your friend lists Reach out to them. Yes, friends! Are you seeing your friends on a regular basis? Literally make it happen okay and that's how that escalates okay so you want to speak to a friend at least once a week You want to make a plan To some people this will be obvious...to some people they'll be in the pub or they'll be on the golf course every single week and that's fine

23:40 But again, look at the quality of those people. What are you getting from it? If it's simply about having a laugh then absolutely brilliant! If it's something that you want more to go on more...to have more fun, to go on more adventures, to go away for the weekend be prepared to be the one that makes it happen. Be prepared to be the one who puts out there let's do this on that weekend But our mum's not sat here being the guru of all these things. It's been my birthday this week and I was somewhat guilty of only sending out, speaking to, inviting people about a week ago but suffice it say we are going into the pub tonight and then those bigger events whether it is booking tickets for a concert buying weekend away or actually planning that lads ski holiday

24:38 If you don't make it happen, then you haven't got that thing in your diary to look forward too. And having things to look forward too is incredibly powerful in terms of your mental health and your positive focus on on your future It's not that we haven't got pressures at home. It's not that we haven't got the business to run or our job to manage, those things are going to be ever present. The traffic on the roads, the train strikes, the bullshit in the world today they are inevitable so be the one that ensures that you're fun and your social life and

25:16 The joy that you're getting from those relationships is also inevitable. As I like to say, things to look forward to memories to look back on and that's my message for today really next week we will talk about relationships like your love life and the quality time with your kids so it's basically being the family side of engage we will cover off next week Engage is a magic part of the power code because everything else leading up until this point, the purpose, the ownership and doing the work is all about you. It's about your focus, your mindset, the plans that you're executing upon when you bring engage into it where you bring other people being the lone wolf is incredibly draining and unsustainable

26:07 You have to have good people around you to learn from, to laugh with. And also as my final point on today's show is when you are having a tough time, you want to be damn sure that you've got people around there to catch you, to support you and if you do happen to hit rock bottom that there's a handful of people you can count on to bring you back up Because without it, that's when despair really kicks in. And when you are going through a tough time the idea of despair or being on your own will quickly make that descent faster. So engage! Put good people around you – your mentors, trusted partners and friends. If you've got any questions about this or simply want some help putting your friend circle together

26:56 And of course, as always jump on a Team Superdad Discovery Call. Simply go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash 15 call and you can get into a chat with me we'll talk about everything that we do here in the Power Code and the one-on-one coaching and basically all the events that we've got coming up I would love to have you on board for that and be part of your journey to create the life that you desire Share, comment, save, review. Put it on a stick and wave it in the air! This has been the Team Superdad Podcast.