John Campbell #7 - sports mentor, sex coach, football club director, ships captain and Dad

00:00 Welcome to Team Super Dad. In this episode, I speak to John Campbell, football director, captain of merchant ships, sex coach, and simply an awesome guy with an amazing life story. I know you're going to love it. Enjoy. Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hello, welcome to the Team Super Dad podcast. My name is Johnny Jensen. I'm the founder and creator of the Team Super Dad community. We are a community of dads kickstarting our lives.

00:42 And that's especially dads after divorce, separation, or loss. But everyone's welcome. And this is the podcast. So each week we speak to coaches, entrepreneurs, sports people, famous, and also everyday dads with a story to tell. There really is nothing that we can't achieve in life. And so often we lose track of where we wanted to get to, the things that we wanted, the amount of fun we need, money, as we like to say, be more, earn more, play more. And so welcome if you're here for the first time. If you're a regular listener, then it's great to have you back. Of course, if you love this show, then give me some feedback because that helps me improve it.

01:22 If you don't like it, well, feedback as well helps. But more important than anything, I would love you to give us a review on iTunes. iTunes more than any other platform is important. The reviews, the positive reviews help get your podcast featured. If you don't listen on podcast, if you don't listen on iTunes, then by all means, leave us a review wherever you're listening. My favorite app on the iPhone is Breaker. It's a really socially engaged podcasting app. But wherever you listen, Spotify, we're on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music at iTunes, and Google Play, where else.

02:02 Basically, we're everywhere. So thanks wherever you are listening in. Like I said, today's interview is with John Campbell. Awesome guy. He's in his 70s, but he speaks with all the energy of a young guy. But he has such wisdom and so many awesome stories to tell, both from his family, his parents growing up in Africa and India, stories of alcoholism, stories of his new wife and being a sex coach, and also working with football stars and athletes.

02:39 And so just a really amazing guy. I wish, I don't, that's not fat. I don't mean I wish, like I couldn't have it, but when you speak to people like John, you realize how important it is to have people like him in your life. Just to give you a fresh perspective, to give you encouragement, to really help you see the opportunities that lie out there and how we can actually make them happen. So enjoy the episode. Enjoy the podcast. If you're a dad, if you are a famous or someone who you think would be a great guest on the show, maybe that's you, maybe you know someone, then put them in touch with me.

03:16 You can also go and see the briefing notes on bit.ly that's bit.ly forward slash TSD briefing, as in Team Super Dad briefing, so TSD briefing. And yeah, and it's not only men that we want to talk to. There's loads of mums out there, loads of women. I'm interviewing a woman on Sunday. We're going to be doing affirmations, talking about the power of affirmations and speaking good words into your life. And so, yeah, this really is about empowering dads, empowering people like yourself and I to kickstart their life in the area of money and fun, relationships, work, of course, and most important than anything, having a great time with our kids.

03:57 So without further ado, let's get on with the episode. I know you're going to enjoy it and I'll see you on the other side. Hello, welcome to the Team Super Dad podcast. It's me, Johnny Jensen here, founder of Team Super Dad and coach of Super Dads Everywhere. As always, we have great guests on this podcast. I ruin the day when we have a rubbish one. But today, today is no exception. And I'm really delighted to introduce John Campbell to you all.

04:37 Good afternoon, John. Good afternoon, Johnny. Great to be with you and all your guests. I've lost sound on you, John. Hold tight. I've lost sound on John. Hang on. It's probably me. Hang on. It is me. Hadn't lost sound at all. You're actually in my ears. Come on. You can hear me now? Yeah, I can hear you now. Yeah, it wasn't you. It was me. And I can play games by going. I know you can now pretend. Yeah. Yeah. So there we go. That just shows we're live. That's always good. People will love to know that you are actually live. So, John, why don't you introduce yourself? I mean, there's so many cool things about you.

05:19 I just put in the sort of in the little bio. We've got a former Brighton director. We've got a dad, a grandfather, a coach to footballers and athletes around the world. I wasn't quite sure from our previous conversation, but there's some kind of like sex coach thing somewhere in there as well. There we go. We'll get onto that as well. And we might leave that to last since that's the last thing I learned to do. Oh, yeah, that's what you were telling me. Yeah. So, John, why don't you do your intro proud and tell us about yourself?

05:55 Yeah, well, where am I? I've been on a journey, Ronnie, Johnny. It's been magnificent. You know, I call it a wakening journey because I think every one of us is asleep when we first come in. And, you know, we all have different paths, different journeys. No one is wrong. No one is right. But when it's your time to wake up, I think it's your time to wake up. I was born in India. I feel very blessed and appreciative now because I was born into a culture that was very free. I was raised in Africa. My mum was alcoholic, which was a wonderful gift to me because meant she didn't worry about me. She was off her head most of the time. So I was free bird, you see. So in those early years, I was totally free.

06:40 I never went to school, didn't have any schooling. So my days were playing with the natives, really, the locals and the animals and what have you. And were you there for your dad's work or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad had worked overseas for many, many, many years. He met my mother in Malaya, no, in London, took her to Malaya, married her during the, and then the Japanese invaded and they escaped. How old are you, John? Well, some people, I'm 73. I feel like 33. And some people say I'm 2003. So there you go.

07:19 Yes. My dad's 76. I've got a neighbour next to me who's 83. And so it's, I think, old people are getting younger, I think, which can only be good for me as I start to get it. The more people are waking up, there's a lot of people realizing now that we are what we think about. So I like to think young thoughts and be thinking good things. Yeah, so that was my life early on. And then we came to England when I was nine for the first time. Seven, eight, eight, I suppose I was. Yeah. And it was a terrible shock to me. First of all, the cold, never been used to the cold. I'd been born in India, raised in Africa, two different countries in Africa and Australia.

08:03 So that was a shock. And going to school was a shock. You know, my mother's, you know, went home, went home the first day of the second. Well, that was interesting, but what do I do tomorrow? And she said, you go there every day. And I nearly went into, you know, I thought, well, let's not come down there every day. So I just, you know, went through primary school and lots of things happened. And from there on to, I got the 11 plus, went to grammar school. And whereabouts in the UK were you living? In Sussex. When we first came to England, we lived for a year in the little place called Coodon Beach near Becks Hill.

08:41 And then my mum did what alcoholics will recognise as a geographical. She managed to convince my dad that the reason she drank was because of the place we were. It's a classic, by the way. It's a classic. So he bought that one, okay? Well, we'll move. So we all moved further along in Sussex to Burgess Hill. And that's where I went for my last couple of years in primary school. And then went to grammar school in Brighton. So I went on the train every day, you know, down to Brighton from Burgess Hill and back again. It was an all-boys school. I had a lot of fun. I didn't take it seriously.

09:23 I didn't think that's what school was for. I always thought it was to have fun. And I was lucky, I was in the C stream. And one C's, fellow school, if there are any of them watching, remember, one C were put into a classroom called the Shack. And the Shack was fantastic because it was an old wooden army Nissan shack, you know, and it was across the other side of the playground. So we had the advantage that when the master was coming to deliver the next lesson, we'd see he had to come out of the main building and he had to. to walk right across the parade ground, which was our playground as well. Yeah, so we had all this time to get ourselves back in order because we used to have mayhem in between lessons.

10:03 So basically, I put all the troublemakers in the same class and I think that was the idea of the playground. In case anyone's like wondering, a bit of a bit of a context there, Brighton is pretty much a party town. It is also historical, comes up in regularly comes up in the top 10 places to live. I did used to live there actually, and curiously, my ex-wife didn't really like it there. And she promised me things would be better when we moved. She wasn't a boozer, but I certainly got a geographical done on me there. So, yeah, so Brighton's Brighton, I mean, Brighton was a lot of fun. It's always been a lot of fun, really, as far as I understand, yeah.

10:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the thing was, I'm not trying to be funny, but I always had a lot of wisdom as a young boy. I used to question things, you see. I used to say, well, why? Well, they weren't used to that. You see, they weren't used to a 12-year-old questioning the teacher. Well, why? I wouldn't know why. It came from a different culture, basically. Yeah, absolutely. And I kind of couldn't understand why they wasted time trying to force information into our young minds about subjects we haven't got the slightest interest in. That to me was already dawning on me at 11, 12 years of age. So I just have fun. You know, if I wasn't interested in the subject, I just wouldn't take any notice, play around. And, you know, they used to say things to me like in my school reports, every school report said, John is a daydreamer.

11:33 John is hampered by a poor memory. None of which, well, I was a day dreamer because I realized the power of visualization, even at that age, because that's what I was doing. Is that a culture culturally as well? That's kind of something you were encouraged to do in India as opposed to what is discussed. No, I don't know what it was, Johnny. I just thought, well, if I'm not interested in this subject, what am I interested in? So I'd start focusing on what I want to do. So I focused on traveling the world because I was already a born traveler, a world traveler at the age of 12. So I wanted to get away from home. That was number one. So I would visualize going to all these countries and traveling the world. And of course, it all happened. Yeah, yeah. And the memory thing, when they say he's hampered by a poor memory, I wasn't.

12:18 I've got, I've got, my wife would tell me, she says, I can't believe your memory. And what they didn't realize, the teachers, bless their souls, they didn't realize I wasn't interested in remembering what they wanted me to remember. That's all it was. But give me something I'm interested in. Cool, I can pluck it out like that. Yeah, awesome. And listen, John, just for context, let's just explain to everybody what you do now kind of thing. And then we'll come back to come where we're at. You'll just give some context to all this story that you're telling and then different questions we're going to ask about as well. Yeah, yeah. What I don't even like the word teacher. What I introduce people to who are ready, Annie and I use a term, we only work with people leaning forward.

13:02 And Annie's your current wife, Ambassador. Yes, partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's amazing. Yeah. So we work with people that are leaning forward because it's too much hard work for those who are leaning backwards. We're giving that up. We tried that. It doesn't work. So the ones who are leaning forward, we actually teach them that if they understand how their mind works, they can change their whole life. And you see, most people, I would say everybody does what they do in life for one reason, really. We're all wired to what the world would be called selfishness, which is not really a negative thing. We do what we do because we think by doing it, we're going to feel good.

13:44 And that includes everything. Like Mother Teresa did wonderful work in the world, but really underneath it was because what she did made her feel good. She felt good by all that helps care. So it's the same with everybody. So what we introduce people to is a concept instead of looking for something outside of yourself, thinking that's going to make you feel good. Every single person has the power to feel good first and then just watch how what they enjoy and what they like will come to them. We always say, Johnny, it's simple, so simple and not easy because of the way we're hardwired.

14:25 If you go around, if anybody goes around and just spend a day, so I'm just going to go, I'm going to listen to conversations, okay, amongst the public, you know, whatever, whether it's on the radio, whether it's in a cafe, whether it's on the beat, whatever, I guarantee you 90% of the conversations, people will be talking about what they don't like. They'll be having a moan about something. Even when I do it, when I coach people. I say, first thing I want you to do, I want you to go around, and every time you go in the shop or a store or whatever, always say, How are you today? And I guarantee you, 99% will say, Not bad. Yeah, John, I was about to say that, and I was about to say, what I hate the most is when people say that because genuinely, when I say to someone, how are you?

15:10 I'm actually interested in how they are. They don't even hear the question. They just give their automatic answer of not too bad, thanks. And I'm like, that doesn't even mean anything. And even if it did, it's actually quite negative. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Because so I always have a stock thing and I love it because I feel good when I do it. I say to them, how are you doing? And they go, not bad. I'll go, oh, that is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. So what I say is doing pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. So that's so the teaching is as simple as that. We have a little game we play. We say we have to eliminate the four C's. And the four C's are complaining, criticizing, comparing, and controlling.

15:53 Now that's a task. That is a tough order. It is a task. That's why I was so keen and interested to do this today. You know, when I came across, I came across you via Gary Stevens, the former Tottenham and England player. So it's great to get connected that way. But then when I saw your videos and heard you speaking about these things and the different way you were talking about how this impacts footballers and athletes, and to me, I just thought, wow, this is a whole paradigm that many dads won't be aware of. And when they're looking at their relationship with their kids and their relationship with their ex, the success they're having in their career and life and everything. This is like a hidden wall for many people. And they don't even know it's there.

16:37 They're butting up against it, wondering why things aren't quite going so well. So, you know, having you on today and hearing about your story and about how you came to this, but also some insights that people can get access to, you know, breaking through that, those four C's that you just spoke about is brilliant. Well, yeah, thank you, Johnny. And it is true. I mean, I can honestly say that my life today is constantly joyous, happy, and free. Who would have want that? Yeah. And you see, the thing is, I think that's the desire of every human being is freedom, really. Freedom, freedom to be themselves, you know. And I haven't always been like that.

17:16 That's the thing I want people to know. Perfect. Well, let's come to both those things. I want to get onto how people can access that, but I also wanted to sort of dig through some of some of how that, how it didn't always be that way. So you were talking about school earlier. How much of an influence on your childhood was your dad? Well, I don't know where to start here. Well, I'll come straight in with this one. I think I mentioned offline, you know, when we were phoning. I found out only two years ago that the man who I thought was my dad for 71 years, you know, I'm 73 now, was not my dad. Wow. He was not my biological father. And that was something that came to me as a feeling for the last 10 years. And it took me 10 years before uncovering and going and doing a test with

18:01 my young nephew to confirm that there was no way his grandfather could have been my great-grandfather could have no, sorry, his grandfather could have been my father. But the man who raised me, as often is the case, he was my model. He was my male model, you know. He was a very kind, very gentle. He was a disabled man, born disabled with a deformity of his left leg, so he couldn't fight in the military. He had a lot of shame around that, which I then picked up on. And he was a doormat, basically. He absolutely adored my mother, absolutely adored her. She was a very beautiful, elegant, you know, came from quite a wealthy background.

18:45 And I think he, what he told me once when he was on his, you know, towards the end, and he said, I said, why did you stay? Because she was pretty, pretty hardcore. And he said, your mother was such a beautiful woman, and I'm a cripple. And that really brought me to tears, you know, to think he thought he was his disability, but he was a beautiful guy. So he had a big influence. I became very similar in that respect. I attracted not the most gentle of people in my life, you know. But also gave me tremendous positive, you know, he was a very, very kind.

19:26 Yeah, and he loved his kids. And I mean, he knew that I was not his child. He didn't know. He didn't tell me, but he knew. And he treated me, if anything, and I used to find it was uncomfortable. So I mean, he probably treated me better than he did his own son, who I thought was my fourth. full brother, but was my half-brother. See, I was the youngest. So, yeah, he was, yeah, had a big influence on me with my football, my love of football. He was, he loved his football, loved his sport. Where was he from? Who did he support? Fulham. Fulham, he was born in the Londoner, actual London. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he tells me, I've got to share this story just for people who are football lovers to see how the game has changed.

20:08 He took me to Fulham, Craven Cottage, when a guy called Tosh Chamberlain. Some of your older viewers might have heard of him. He was a winger, played for Fulham. And Johnny Haynes, who was captain of England at the time and an imperious footballer, I mean, wonderful passable, you know, he was captain of Fulham. And he was the first person to break the wage thing where they were used to be on £20 a week, and he was the first £100 a week player. Okay. And Johnny Haynes used to ping these 40-yard balls out to Tosh on the right wing. And, you know, Tosh would pick his foot up, his right foot up, to trap the ball, and it would go under his foot out for a throw into the other side.

20:47 And Johnny Haynes was a little bit, people would say he was arrogant. He was so good. And he used to stand there with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. You see, well, he did this one too many times in this match. So Tosh walks across to the dugout where they just used to throw their tracksuits in the dugout in those days. No subs, obviously. Yeah, yeah. And he went to the dugout, pulled his tracksuits, pulled out his wood bones, and sat and lit up a wood one in the middle of what is the equivalent of a Premier League game. And I think that's a great story to tell you. Well, apparently, at Tottenham, they used to literally, not all players, but I think apparently George Bess was known to do this as well.

21:28 Run out at half-time and have a swift half at the pub on the corner. Yeah. Well, I mean, in those days, it was a regular thing. They'd have a bottle of brandy in a dressing room. Yeah. And everybody would have a nip of brandy. Now, I understand that, especially having gone down the drinking road myself. I don't drink now, as you know, for 20 years I've been drunk. But I understand that because that's what it does. It takes away any fear. Oh, my God, you can take on the world when you've had that little made me fall in love with football. Yeah, fall in love with football. And so living in Brighton, and what happened after school? How did you get on to school? What happened afterwards? Well, I messed around for five years.

22:09 So I failed all my GCs. And dad called me in and said, you've got to get your backside into gear. So I just decided, yeah, I'm going to go. And I decided I wanted to go to sea because it was my fastest route out to get away from home, right? Yeah. So I just got my head down and I got five O levels. I got an A level in art. I was very gifted in art. I had my first drawings published in a little book when I was doing my studies at grammar school. And yeah, I sailed through, got five O levels, and then took off for the Merchant Navy and started my own journey. And I mean, I was so terrified. I was so anxious in those days. I can remember I joined my first ship.

22:53 And obviously, I was a cadet. I was an officer cadet. And all the other officers wearing a gold band, one ring, two rings, three rings, captain, four rings, and all that. And going into the, I was terrified, sitting at the officers in the officer's wardrobe, dining room for dinner or lunch, whatever, and all this gold brass all around me. You know, I was terrified. I was just mortified, terrified. And I wasn't old enough to drink, I was only 17. And the captain called me when I signed on and he said, listen, young man, you know, you're under, I was indentured apprentice, and that makes the captain responsible for you. He said, you're not allowed to drink alcohol. All right, you understand that? I said, okay, no problem.

23:33 And I can remember going into the officer's bar, which was very grand, in a crystal row with a steward all done, his white jacket, and all the big time, and all these officers with gold bands around you. And I'm sneaking up to the bar for the first time. And the steward says to me, what would you like to drink? And I said, an orange juice, please. And just then, this group of officers to one side happened to burst out laughing. I was so self-set, so self-conscious. I thought they were laughing at me and I flaked out. I flaked out through anxiety, thinking they were... Fainted? Yeah, I fainted. Oh, my gosh. So from then on, that's when I discovered alcohol was a great help to me.

24:14 So from then on, this is typical. I used to go into the engineer's mess because the engineers in their boiler suits couldn't come into the luncheon room. They had a special mess from. So they had their own fridge in there with beers in there. And I used to go in there, sink a couple of beers to give me the courage to go in our bar and ask for an orange juice. Got it. So before I forget, right, what? what would you, what would you, what would you say to a dad who's trying to encourage their teenager who's a bit of a tearaway at school and he's got to get knuckled down and just get some kind of a qualifying. What would you be saying to your 15, 16-year-old self at that time in school as a dad?

24:56 What I would be saying to them is there's something which you love and you enjoy. Whatever it is, find out what it is. And if they say, oh, I don't know what it is, I said, all right, close your eyes and imagine you've got a million quid in the bank and you've got no family. What would make your heart sing to do as a life, you know, as a job? Whatever that is, that's what you're going to be doing. Because the majority of people... Tap into your intuition. Yeah, exactly. Tap into it. The majority of people get influenced by A, is it going to bring enough money? Or B, or B, what the family is going to say?

25:37 Yeah. If it doesn't fit the family, it's all unconsciousness, you know. You know, a lot of Asian families struggle with that. Jewish families, their sort of predefined route is if it's not what you want to do, then what the hell do you do? That's right. That's right. So to answer your question, I'd be saying to him, find out what you love doing. There's got to be something you love doing and do it. Don't be respectful in the classes you're in with subjects that you're not the slightest bit of interested in. So I was, you know, make sure you honor other people who are wanting to learn that subject. But if you're not, just take it in, don't be worried about it. And certainly take no notice of exams.

26:22 I said to my own kids, I said, exams, just think of exams as a way the authorities need to check and see how good their teachers are. True. Don't take it to mean anything about you. It's just a number. Yeah, yeah. And to focus on, you know, appreciating themselves. And well, now, with the knowledge I have now, I'd be teaching them to get rid of the four seats. Don't complain, don't criticise, don't compare, and don't control. Yeah. Well, let's get on to that as a framework shortly. So, how many kids have you got then? Six. Six? Six that I know about. I'm going to have to do a lot more shagging before I start having that problem.

27:06 Well, you know what they say. I've been to 103 different countries the last time I checked. Wow, this is because of the sailing stuff. Yeah, well, yeah, and business struggles. Business, yeah, yeah. So how long did you stay in the Navy for and you know, in amongst wife? Where did you make your first wife? Well, I went in at 17. I became a captain at 26. I was the youngest guy on the first ship I was captain of, which was, oh, do they take the piss out of me? I tell you, the full crew from the Humberside hull. They were piss takers. And I left when I was. That's pretty impressive, by the way.

27:43 I don't think we can just skirt past that. I mean, I can't contextually get it other than we just went from talking about the officer's mess and the grandeur of it to 11 years later, you're the captain of your own ship. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it was amazing, really. I mean, I got married quite young to my first wife, to my eldest daughter's mum. And the marriage broke up after a couple of years, two, three years. And I left, I was in shell tankers, which I found completely boring.

28:21 I've never been good for bullshit, Johnny. And there was more bullshit in Shell than there ever was in the Royal Fleet Auxiliary, which I started with. So in other words, we'd be in the Persian Gulf, two o'clock in the morning, 110 degrees, and the captain would shout at me to put my shirt on. And I'm thinking, who am I putting my shirt on for? You know, middle of the Persian Gulf, any all that shit. So my desire was, I kept thinking, one day, when I'm going to be captain, I'm going to be so good. I'm going to be good to the guys. I've got to make sure the ship is well fed because when you're at sea, that's all you look forward to is your food and your mail. So that was a big driving force for me to be the one to make the decisions to make people's lives better. Already I had that kind of feeling. So when I eventually got into the supply boat game

29:07 and I was captain, I had a ball and we had a ball and I would divert the ship divert course to go and visit these unvisited islands and put the lifeboat over with two cases of beer and a few roast chickens and go off and mix with the local ladies. We had a ball. Brilliant. The world's changed. Maybe the world hasn't changed for people in those kind of jobs, but I think, you know, my dad used to, he was into motor racing and he was a. a works Ford and Toyota rally driver, Lancia Stratos. They used to do crazy stuff. They'd have rallies in the middle of the night, just, you know, wherever they wanted to start one. They would, they, you know,

29:50 the parties and the women and the, you know, and literally then go get up the next morning and be like, right, they're on the start of an international rally and they're off. You know, kind of obviously sport is far more professional and stuff now, but you do wonder if people are having as much fun. My dad says to me, problem is, son, you're not having enough fun. Yeah. I'm totally with you. I'm totally with you. And a classic example is, I mean, I literally did that. I was on a journey from where did I? I signed up. I signed on the vessel in Djibouti in what was then the French territory of the FRs and Esars. And I was going down to Mauritius.

30:30 And I thought, oh my, I looked at the chart. I saw there was a virtually uninhabited island. There was just a few, you know, let's go and have a look at that. So I diverted orphan. We put the boat down. We had the back. They call them banyans. You put the boat down, get some beer, have some chickens, have some fun, come back to the boat, and we went going again. No questions asked, you know. Now, from some time, officers on the watch of vessels have their own colour. So the chief officer has maybe a red pen. I don't know what it's second officer will have a blue pen, pencil. Yeah. And the third officer will have a green pencil. And at the end of their watch, they have to mark where the ship's position is.

31:10 And at the end of a voyage, all the charts go to head office to be calculated how much miles any officer wasted on their watch. They couldn't, you know, if they went three miles off course or to let alone detour and go and have some fun. But you're right. It's got so serious. And that's what I bring into everything now: it's got to have fun. I've got to have fun. Everything's got to be joy. Football's got to be joy. One of the biggest problems I see in the game is teams where they're managing there's lack of joy and fun. Well, Mourinho, blimey. Yeah. That man lacks joy. Yeah, but you see, there's a classic case of somebody that came in like a breath of fresh air, if you remember when he came in Porto.

31:53 But then that thing called EGO, the ego starts and rises and raises its rotten head, you know. And I always say EGO, ego, the ego means easing God out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's when I go, when I go, yeah, that's me having a moment. I say this to various guests. I'm like, whoa, I just wonder. And the word, of course, I realize the word God can really trigger some people. But you see, I don't think God's got anything to do with religion. Nothing. To me, God is just a word for love, unconditional love.

32:34 Oh, I find that's very interesting. I have similar views on faith. To think that one faith is wrong over another faith, I don't get, you know, if we come from different parts of the world, ultimately, if our faith is a pretty wholesome faith, which I think most mainstream faiths are pretty wholesome, then who are we to each tell each other that our gods are, first of all, different, let alone better than each other's? The likelihood is that it's a God for all seasons, kind of it's adapted to fit a culture. I know it's not perhaps not a truly biblical view, but certainly as I see God operate in the world today, I think it's just, you know, there's generally a force for good.

33:17 And if we could unite behind that as a faith, then we do stand a chance of not blowing ourselves into smithereens. Yeah. No, and I think people are waking up to that. And for me, I got a great, I have a lot of fun with words. You know, I love words because they're very, and I always look at the word God and the word love and the word now all have in the middle of them one big zero one big zero love God now they all have this big zero and I think there's a message there that it's a circle and it's nothing it's now

33:58 love that's what God is is love so what's the encouragement there for you for people to be to be present in the moment or what are you saying yeah well to become aware first of all to become aware of all of their triggers in life you know what triggers you well it's you know that's always a healing it's just a sign there's something to be healed and for me I happen to use the tool of forgiveness but it's a different type of forgiveness and because you see peace and and love and joy are our natural states. That's our natural state. So I will say to people, what went wrong?

34:39 And what went wrong is, in my belief now, is that we forgot who we are. We forgot that that's who we are. And we got further and further and further and further away until the pain of staying the same gets bigger than the fear of making a change and that's where we come on our journey and and i believe everybody will be led to a point in their lives where this is not working whether it's in a work work situation relationship or whatever and that creates a and you know even even your football you know you talk about mourinho mourinho is a man in my opinion he's in so much pain so we talk about like upset upon upset upon upset guilt resignation

35:23 fear this kind of baggage that we end up carrying around with ourselves and the sign the red flag is when we start blaming everybody else and if you think of mourinho's especially it got worse and worse and worse in my opinion but everything was everybody else it was the media it was this it was that it was this and nobody loves me and blah blah blah there's the sign the minute we start pointing the finger i say to my coaching class always look and see when you're pointing the finger of blame at somebody else it's very symbolic we've got one finger pointing at them but we've got three fingers pointing back at us that's as a little reminder to take our focus off them and bring them focus onto us

36:03 yeah well i know my own marriage and everything you know there's there's there's obviously a lot of upset the breakdown the blame that somewhere has to come on the journey a look in the mirror to see well what what could i be responsible for and when you start asking yourself that question suddenly so much appears they're like looking you're now looking again at what went wrong but from a what was my role in that how could i be more responsible if and then and then something i found very positive is keep going back well what caused that what caused that well what caused that and what caused that oh my gosh i caused that you know not not wrong or blame

36:43 but but when when anybody can start to take a look at the situation and realize that they have some function in it they had some responsibility then freedom comes from that because and quite often you know and um even communicating that to the person the ex or whatever or the person you're upset with you can create a some freedom in that relationship and and that's really important for me looking at at dads and people rebuilding their lives and having strong positive relationships in their life somewhere or another that relationship with our with our ex and their family their friends when it's left as a big stink it's quite a massive shadow on on on one's life really um so i think so you know in what you're sharing there and i see that i heard in that in that big zero in that in those important words about really being present to where am i at

37:33 what's going on what can where where how can i enjoy today more what can a baby be responsible for that's that's what i heard yeah and it's interesting you bring up the words responsible you see again i love words you see if you say something how do you spell responsible they'll tell you you know are you responsible and i always write it response a b l e instead of i b l e and i say because really the word means able to respond and when people look at responsibility as ability to respond rather than responsibility you know something on my shoulders it changes and my life changed when i was able and honest enough to

38:13 acknowledge i was a hundred percent responsible for everything in my life everything now that is a big ask of people it took me a long time before i truly acknowledged that and then i used a little analogy with people i say well hang on tell me about all the terrible things that happened in your life so they they'd you know go on this great thing and explain all these terrible things and i said okay they all seem different different places different people different things all the rest of it what's the one common denominator in all of it it's you or it's me you know it's me oh okay i never thought about that so i'm the one that can change everything and i truly believe johnny i truly

38:53 believe that you don't have to worry about the ex or the ex-employer or whatever if you do the work on yourself and your relationship with them in your head in your head in your heart you don't have to run around and start giving them hugs and tell them all sort you know if you do that work it has to change it's almost like uh our life and our relationships now for is like a mobile that you hang over a kitty's cot you know if you move one part of that mobile all the rest of the mobile mobile starts to shift. So that's the beauty of this work. I don't have to worry. See, when I broke up from my last wife, it was, I just want to be friends.

39:33 You know, I just said, look, I know it's over. It's time to move on. No, nobody else involved. I just said it's time to be right. Yeah. And just when that was, that's, you had four kids with the second wife? Five, five. Five kids with second wife. And you were together how long? 27 years. 27 years, yeah. And I knew, I knew in my deepest soul, I knew that the work was done. I had to move on. And I was just like, oh, I'll just get a house down the road, you know, and everything will be fine. But of course, that's not where she was. She was upset. Yeah, she's angry. She's angry. So she rebelled against me, you know, in a really tough way, especially around the kids.

40:12 Eventually, when I got into this work, which I'll talk about later, the course of miracles, I started to do the work. So I would do visualizations and picture her in a golden circle. I'd bring into some into my consciousness somebody who I really was at peace with in my life, who I loved, and they loved me. And I'd get a picture of them. Then I'd get a picture of my ex-wife. And then I'd merge the two in a circle of golden light into one picture in my mind. And, you know, this is leading edge stuff. A lot of people turn and say, what a load of old cod's wallet. That's okay. It's not my work. What other people think of me is none of my business. I know it works. And when people experience it, that's when they change.

40:57 They say, why, God, this works. And the great thing is about this type of work, you don't have to understand it. You don't have to believe it even. If you do it, it works. And that's the great thing because so much about programming is we have to understand everything. We have to understand. No, no, we don't have to understand. We have to experience. Truly, truly, yes. And I was listening to some Wayne Dyer the other day and someone else put a day before that, I can't remember. But he was saying, you know, we talk about, oh, I'm listening to Stefan Arnio's book, Hard Times Create Strong Men. Great book.

41:40 I listen to a lot of books rather than read them. And he was talking about faith and saying, well, whether you believe in God or not, there's too much weird stuff goes on in this world to say that we just got out the sea one day and evolved into who we are. There's too many coincidences. There's too many. How did all the other Neanderthal races, whatever, not make it? And we did. How come so much of our fruit and veggies shaped like parts of our body and they actually help us treat those parts of the body? There's too many coincidences in the world. And then if you're going to say, oh, I don't believe in a higher spirit or God or whatever, because I can't see it.

42:21 Well, we believe that our mobile phones work. That's right. We don't question what electricity has done when we put the light switch on. We just put it on and it's there. Yeah. So I think so for me, when people can tap into that and realize, you know, you don't have to believe in God to actually, okay, so having a faith, having an awareness that we are spirit bodies, not just physical bodies, is an access to a whole world of possibilities and connections and healing. And I got talking to some guy the other day who was pretty depressed and

43:00 really doubting every single thing that was going on in the world. But he was so shut off to everything that he, it was all about what he could see and touch. And that looked pretty bad at that moment. No, and I mean, I love, I love, I did a lot of reading when I started to wake up because I didn't read anything until I was in my 50s till I started to wake up. And I read a lot of Sufi books from the Sufi masters, like Hafiz was a Sufi poet. And he had a lovely phrase. He said, in the end, all human beings only have two choices. They either come to God dressed for dancing or they get wheeled into God's ward on a stretcher.

43:41 And I think that's beautiful. And people, you know, the word God gets a bad rap because of certain religious programmings, you know. But I understand what he's talking about. And I see it happening. I see it happening in my family, my friends, in the greater world. Whenever it looks as though, oh, something terrible is happening in their life. I always know, no, no, no, no, this is just a little, they're in the wheelchair getting into God's ward. They're not necessarily going in on a stretcher. They might be going on walking sticks even, you know. I went in on walking sticks in my book, and I was lucky I didn't get to the stretcher, but everything that seems to be going wrong. wrong in our life is truly a gift. And my wife Annie, you know, I mean, she was a total non-believer.

44:26 She was a scientist, she's a neuroscientist, PhD from Oxford, real bubba, bubb in the head, you know, didn't believe in anything that you couldn't touch, feel, smell, taste, whatever. And then when her husband of 27 years passed away, she was with him. They knew it was going to happen, you know, she'd been with him sort of at the end there for the last week. And then when he took his last breath, it was a summer's day, and she saw, she actually saw a ball of golden light leave his body and go out through the window. And it scared the shit out of her. You know, she was a scientist. She didn't believe in anything like that. But what it did, that was her wake-up call. Wow. And once she started to Google it, she found it was a very common

45:12 occurrence. And that led her to reading a book by Eco Tolly, which you've probably heard of, called The Power of Now. And in The Power of Now, she came across A Course in Miracles, which is how we met eventually, many years later. By the way, if you send me these books in an email afterwards, I'll put them in the notes of the show. Yeah, no, I mean, what's fascinating, Johnny, and we're writing about it now together, is when I look back, when she looks back on her life, we can see all the dots. You can see how, wow, that led me to this.

45:49 And that, yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, there. And, you know, it's like, it's just, it's uncanny the different things that wake us up. I didn't have any belief in the art of life or anything else. And I had a captain working for me. This is when I started my own business. I own ships. And his wife was Norwegian. And I thought she was crooked. Same as a lot of people thought I was cooking when I got into all this stuff. It's the same thing. And she was always going on about this stuff. And she told me about a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, which I'm sure you've heard of. And she gave me the book and I read a couple of monsters. It became my Bible eventually, I can tell you.

46:29 But what happened with this woman, I realize now she was an angel sent to me, if you like, to wake me up because I was back in England and her husband was captain on one of our ships. And she used to phone me from Norway. And every time she phoned, I used to say to myself, oh, tell her I'm not vapor. She's crazy. She phoned me up one day and she said, John, could you please contact my husband and tell him to be very, very careful, you know, a Norwegian accent I'm trying to do on the starboard side of his vessel, be very careful. And I'm going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Two weeks later, telephone rings and it's her husband from the ship.

47:11 And he says, Captain John, I'm sorry I have to report there's been an accident. One of our sailors has fallen over the side of the ship and was churned up in the propeller. Dead as a dawning. And I went, oh my God. And I said, Captain Finn, what side of the vessel? And he said, starboard side. And I thought, wow, that's exactly what she told me. So what's all that about? Anyway, so I realized she was what I like to call now cooperative components that come into her life to help shake us a bit, you know. So from that moment, I started to read that book, You Can Easy Alive. And then I started to read lots of books. And then

47:50 it was just, it was just an accumulation of learning, really. Yeah, and I think that's so you called it an awakening. You know, for me, it was really about starting to discover personal development. And I was, what did I read? Susan Jefferson, what's it? I can't remember the name of the book. Anyways, feel the fear and do it anyway. So that's kind of entry-level personal development, but I think everybody, if anyone's listening to this and they're kind of, they're just not even thought about any of that stuff. You know, if there's any books that we've talked about here, The Power of Now, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, I ended up doing the landmark forum.

48:34 You know, people, people with a strong faith actually can quite often have a greater degree of personal awareness. And I think discovering that for yourself, you called it an awakening. I think it's so important for people to go on that journey. And there's a degree of what will teach and encourage people in Team Super Dad is to be aware and is to believe that there's the the universe is out there for us, that there is more good in the process of life than bad, that if the more that we think about and focus on our goals, the more likely they are to come to us. The more we subconsciously think on bad things, the more likely the bad things can happen.

49:15 I always help. People that worry about getting sick. Yeah, yeah. Well, absolutely. It's a fear. It's to become aware, there's nothing to fear. And the other thing I've learned on the journey is everybody's journey is personal to them. So I do my best. Sometimes I mistake, sometimes I fall off and forget. I forgive myself for it. But to avoid trying to criticise other people's journeys, just that's not my work. I focus on what I do. Law of attraction will bring people into my energy field who are open to hearing what I do. Those who aren't, those who I have, you know, some people they're not interested. That's fine. It doesn't mean I can't get along with them.

49:57 What they follow is up to them. And that's where I think religion is changing, so-called traditional religion. Many of them are becoming more open to that concept of let everybody believe whatever works for them. Yeah. So, you know, it's very, but it is about encouraging people to connect with their inner self, that part of themselves which knows everything. You see, it's like, and not to deny it, just to be aware of it where your feelings, your feelings are given you. That intuition, that's your inner guide. Intuition, if you break the word down, means inner teacher. So that's what to listen to. But most of us were too busy up here.

50:41 And if someone's never really, if someone's unsure if they've ever felt that, where could they look to do an audit? How could they check themselves? Well, I think something early days look for a mindfulness group, teaches mindfulness. And I mean, this comes into our sexual practices. It's unbelievable how this will change. I just like real bait. Someone who's never really, I've never heard my intuition speak. What could they do at home this afternoon or this evening to sort of see if they could first tap into that? Get quiet. Switch off everything, switch off everything, sit down, close their eyes, focus on their breathing.

51:25 Just bring their attention to their breathing and see what comes up. And then maybe ask a question. Say, what is the best thing for blah, blah, blah, for me to do about blah, blah, blah. And then just get quiet and see what comes in, what comes in, what comes in. Because whenever we ask, we'll always get the answer. And it may not come in that moment. It may come, something may suddenly pop up on the TV, and you think, oh my God, that's the answer. Yeah. That's what I was asking. It's really beautiful. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Advent internet or whatever. I could not get on a dance floor, Johnny.

52:09 When I got sober, I realized I'd never been on it. I was 51 when I got sober and I stopped drinking alcohol. So just we kind of missed. We could talk for hours, John. This is crazy. Were you an alcoholic? Well, I don't use that term now. I don't use alcohol. No, sorry. Okay. But I mean, other people, technically, they would. But you would. What do they call it? Like a functioning one? Oh, very. I was very functioning. I was running a fantastic business, family, and everything. All the things that the big house, the big cars, the big holiday, so I was very funny. What are we talking here? It's like absolutely mulled or just a bottle of wine a day. No, it would be a daily intake, a daily intake.

52:52 So with a French person, they would say, of course, I have three glasses of wine a day. Yeah, but you see, problems with alcohol have got nothing to do with how much you drink. It's about what happens when you drink. Right, okay. So there was a change in mood in me. All right, sometimes a positive change. So, as I said, I developed this confidence, which I didn't have. You know, people would say things to me. They'd say, oh my God, I wish I had your confidence, John. This is what I was drinking during my drinking time. And inside, this voice would be like, oh, my God, I wish they knew. I wish they only knew. Oh, if only they knew. They wouldn't like, you know, because they think they're giving you a compliment, and actually, you're just loading up more guilt.

53:31 Yeah, yeah, because that's not how I felt. Because all the alcohol, I still say, you know, that was a positive thing for me. I would, I'd never have got my masters at such a young age, being captain of a shibbole, because I was terrified. I was riddled with fear. Dutch courage type. Dutch courage, that's exactly it. So, anyway, coming back now, I had never been on a dance floor. And I've got sober and I was at a convention, and one of the women said, Do you want to come and have a dance? And I absolutely, it's in the moment, said, No, no, no, sorry, I don't feel well. I used the woman's excuse. Was it a nice lady? Yes, she was very nice.

54:11 And I would have loved to have danced. It was like knee-jerk action. I was so ashamed and felt so good. I went to my bed and I lay there and I looked up on the ceiling. I still tell you, it was at the Clacton, it was in Clacton. And I asked the question: why can't I get on a dance floor without drinking me? So I asked. And I'm a firm believer today that whenever we ask, we always receive. On the next, it didn't take me long. The next day, I'm at college. By this time, I've given up my business and I was studying to be an addiction counselor. I was at college, and one of my friends came up and said, Oh, you want to read this book? It's called Healing the Child Within by Charles Whitfield. Little thin book. As soon as I started to read it, I said, That's the answer to my question.

54:55 I can't get on that dance floor because I've got this little boy in me that's riddled with shame and guilt about his body and what he looks like and all the rest of it. And I said, Right, why? How can I get this healed? How can I get it healed? And again, a week later, I saw an advert on the right-hand side of this magazine saying, The Hoffman process, the best inner child healing ever in the world. A quote by John Bradshaw, who was a great author in the field of addiction and codependency. And then I looked at the head office was in Arundel. Now, Arundel is the town where I used to run away from home and sit in the grounds of Arundel Castle when I was 11, 12 years of age because I was so I wanted my own space and get away from my mother, who's drunk and so on.

55:41 So that was the first thing. And the next thing was I phoned up and oh no, the other thing was this John Bradshaw, who made this quote on the advert, I was in the middle of reading his book at the time called Healing the Shame That Binds You. So I saw that, I said, That's it. And I just phoned out. I didn't know anything about the course. I had never known anybody that had taken it. I didn't read anything about it. And I just picked the phone up, said, There's my credit card, put me on the next one. And I came off that course. It's seven days, very, very intensive. One of the most amazing pieces of work I've ever done. And you can't get me off a dance floor. The minute music's on, I'm up there. John Campbell. Yeah, yeah, John. I went up on the Monday after, I was going up to London and I was on East Croydon station platform.

56:24 And the Italian guy that has the cappuccino thing there, he's on a ghetto blaster and he had it on full graph. So I'm standing there dancing. There's all these guys in these bowler hats going to the city thought I was off the wall. I didn't care anymore. And when did you meet your current wife, Annie? How did you meet her? Did you think you were going to meet someone or was it wrong? I never gave up on love. I've always loved women. I think they're one of the biggest gifts we have in mankind for many different reasons. I've never been a woman hater or anything like that, you know, misogynists or anything like that. So I knew that I wanted to meet somebody.

57:02 And I'd also got to the point of acknowledging that I'd done all this healing and I'd done an immense amount of physical, mental, emotional healing. Yet I hadn't yet looked at my sexual healing because I had sexual wounding. And I said, right, I want to heal my sexual self. I was now 63 years of age. And I'd come out of quite a long-term dysfunctional relationship. I say dysfunctional, lovely person, but 5,000 miles away. There was another pattern. What am I doing in the relationship? It's only 5,000 miles. I hardly ever see it. It's only on the telephone. Wow. It's a pattern. Anyway, so I made that decision. I ended the relationship in a very beautiful, loving way with her.

57:46 And then two weeks later, bang, ask and you get it. And I was introduced to a woman who was an Osho. She'd been an Osho follower, a Vosho, you know, and she taught me a different way of having sex. And it blew me away. All these anxieties I'd had for all these years, boom, gone. And we knew that we weren't going to be a long-term thing because, yeah, we just accepted. That wasn't what the relationship was for. She, again, lived a long way away in the north of England.

58:22 And then I met Annie because I was on the spiritualsingles.com website, dating website called spiritualsingles.com, where you meet people who are awakened to a spiritual journey. And you can then look for people, you know, because it makes a big difference if you've got somebody that's at least on a similar path. So anyway, Annie saw my profile and saw that I was Course of Miracles. And she had been brought to the Course in Miracles through the death of her first husband. And then, by the way, I didn't tell you that her fiancé, who she was about to marry 10 years after the death of her first husband, she came home one day and he was dead on the kitchen floor.

59:02 So she had that to contend with. So she had two big. wake-up calls. But anyway, she saw my Course in Miracles thing and we met. And it turned out that we would have met anyway because we were both signed in to a Course in Miracles speaker who was coming to London and we both knew the speaker and we both had signed up to go to that talk. So we would have met anyway. But here we are meeting as a result of meeting each other on this website. Oops, I've lost you there. Hang on. I think just turn the video off. That's all. Hang on, hang on. You're back. You're back. Yeah, so we met up in London for a coffee, and that was it. We knew instantly. We had electricity.

59:45 We held hands. We just touched hands and it was like electricity, running for us. And yeah, we've been together ever since. We've been together virtually 24/7. We practice. See, the lovely thing is when you're in a relationship with somebody that understands 100% responsibility, you don't get any blame. So, in other words, you'll never hear me say to Annie, you make me feel this, and when you do that, no, no, no, no. And she will never say the same to me. It'll always be that. That's so powerful in a parent relationship as well, talking to your kids. Absolutely. If you know, I don't want anyone to skirt past that, like taking lessons out of these fabulous conversations that we have,

1:00:27 both in talking to people in work, in a relationship, and especially talking to your child. Can you just explain what you're saying there? You never, yeah, you never, you never blame the child for your emotions. No child ever makes you angry. You're making me angry, you're pissing me, or you're, you, you've upset me. That, yeah, yeah. What is that doing? That deepens the child's sense of unworthiness, just like the parents already got that unworthiness, otherwise, they wouldn't be speaking that way. Yeah, and what it's doing is saying that you're giving your power away. So it's, and it's not about a lot of people make the mistake of believing that this means I can't feel angry or I can't feel sad or I can't feel pissed off. No, no, no, no, no, it doesn't mean that. Otherwise, that becomes a spiritual bypass, I call it, where you go, oh,

1:01:12 I feel good. No, this is about feeling the feeling, saying, oh, and knowing that the feeling has got nothing to do with what that person, that child, or that institution, or what that government, or what that prime minister, or what that president of the United States of America is saying. It's only to do with my perception and my judgments about what's happening. That's what causes my disturbance. And that's where I take ownership in the moment: say, I have a choice. I have a choice. I can see this differently. Because when you make peace your 100%

1:01:54 first goal, and peace is, believe me, not a small gift. It's a mighty gift. So when you become unaffected, for example, people will often say to Annie, what do you think about Brexit? What do you think about okay? No problem. What'll be not going to affect my life? And that's not arrogance, meaning, what about the other people? No. I can be more help to anybody in the world when I am peaceful, loving, and joyful. That's when I can be a help to my kids. Yeah. Because the greatest gift you can give your children is your own happiness. Yeah, and very similar to what you're saying, I spoke to Tolly Bakan once. He did like a group QA session.

1:02:38 And he said, you know, quite flippantly, he said, oh, no, I haven't been angry since 1982 or something. It's like he had a very specific date. And he said, he gave up being angry. Yeah. Like it's not a thing in his, there's no anger, angry state of angryness, you know, in his world. And the freedom, you know, he went on to explain, kind of, but the freedom that gave him over his relationships, his own upset, his ability to love others, his ability to manage situations seems kind of woo-woo. But also, actually, when you just break it down and go, wow, what if I was never angry with my kids?

1:03:19 Like, like you say, not being upset, not making sure they're tired of their bedroom, but where can I be in control of my feelings and own my words? Yeah. And that's why, Johnny, it's essential. To be a good parent, you have to look at your own childhood. Some people say, oh, I don't need to go back there. I don't, okay, fine. Just see how your life goes. Until people look back and see, you see, you either pass it on, you work it out, or you'll pass it on. Yeah. It's always one or the other. And that's exactly what it's about. So it's not my kid suddenly starts painting, puts paint all over the bedspread and whatever. whatever, whatever it is, you know. Of course, not acceptable, right?

1:04:05 Has to be changed. But that does not equal me having to disturb my peace of mind by getting angry. And if people say, But that's everyone gets no, no, no, no, no, no. That's the first thing you do with people. Start owning your statements. I get angry. I get angry. You don't have to. That's why you could line up five different parents and put the same scenario to them. And maybe three of them will get angry, but two of them will say no. So you could still, it's not about you don't correct the child, it's about the energy in which you correct them. You can just as easily say, you know, Johnny, and always, I always say to parents, always tell your children and everybody what you want, not what you don't want.

1:04:47 There's a line in The Course in Miracles that says, never make another wrong. Now, some people say, well, how can you not make somebody wrong? It's not saying that there won't be things that are unacceptable, but you don't talk about what's unacceptable. You talk about what you want. So, in other words, a situation like that, you say, Johnny, I really would love it if you took great care with that paint, make sure it stays in the pot. And when you start to just use these little tools, and that's why I took it into football and had stupendous success working with Africans in the township in South Africa, just by talking about what you want, not what you don't want.

1:05:30 You hear many coaches in football say, don't do this, don't do that. You know, don't dive in in the penalty area. Straight away, they dive in because the subconscious mind cannot process negatives. Subconscious mind works on words and pictures. So, if you somebody say to somebody, don't dive in, all they see, they hear the words, dive in, and they see, dive in. And you can test this yourself with children. If you've got young children, give them something to carry and say, Don't spill that, don't spill it, don't spill it, they'll spill it. Because if I say to you right now, okay, Johnny, close your eyes and picture a pink elephant.

1:06:09 What comes into your mind? You see a pink elephant, right? Totally, yeah. Yeah, now, if I say to you, right, close your eyes and picture don't, what's the picture that comes in? No, you say, Don't picture a pink elephant, you still think you still think of a pink elephant, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Don't picture a pink elephant, you still see a pink elephant, yeah. Because if you try and picture don't, don't, doesn't bring up a picture, yeah, don't spill it. They're so like, instead of saying hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, yeah. And I've learned that I try that so hard with my kids as well is to is to speak in that way. And some of the compliments I've had about my children recently, and bearing in mind they've been through the divorce, and that's been tricky for them.

1:06:54 But I've had people compliment my children on how gracious they are, how confident they are, how open they are and willing to speak to people, adults, young people, stand-up people. I witnessed it, didn't I? Oh, yeah, you totally did. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for Jago, Jago. Jago, Jago, I knew it was a J.U. Yeah. Yeah, they're beautiful angels. See, they're angels. Sometimes parents need to remember they've come to teach us. And what have they come to teach us? They've come to teach us how we used to be and how we can get back to being that way. Yeah. Because life is about having fun and joy.

1:07:38 Not about struggle. It's programmes, it's programmes. I always say to people, imagine you're like a computer and you've had all these programs put in. But the great thing is, you know, just like with your computer, you can erase them and put new programs in. And it's got nothing to do with age. I'm living proof. I'm living proof. I'm having the most joyous life. Wow, John, there's so much we could talk about. I mean, we're going to have people listening for hours here. I think, you know, when I meet certain people and we really click, there's such a connection around the goals and intentions of Team Super Dad and

1:08:18 to put together perhaps a worksheet or a, you know, we'll have a webinar together for some Team Super Dad members. And, you know, we can maybe work out a way where you can really do some coaching with people for an hour so that actually some of these awesome things that we've spoken about today, we can put in place some practical ways that they can access these things, talking about intuition, talking about getting over grief, talking about being present in the moment, forgiveness, responsibility. I think there's a really great opportunity here to put something together for the Team Super Dad community.

1:08:55 my little question for the end of these things, I feel awful that we're going to have to have it to come to a close, but clearly, there's definitely a great opportunity to get together again. But my final question is: what have you learned about yourself that you wish you knew when you were younger? What have I learned about myself that I wish I'd known is that I am beautiful, innocent, holy, which means whole, whole, perfect gift to life, and that I'm here to join with others and enjoy life to the full. That's my purpose. My purpose in life is to have fun and joy and then to extend that to others.

1:09:38 And I wish I had known that, you know, and that what other people think of me is none of my business. True, that's two very powerful things. What's more important is what I think about them. That will decide on how your relationship with them is going to be determined by how they feel, how they are towards you is going to be determined by how you are towards them. Exactly, exactly. And I, you know, for me, just to acknowledge you and your age, you know, people talk about age like it's this thing that we can't talk about anymore. But to have someone in their 70s who's been to 104 countries, who's got five children, how many grandchildren?

1:10:17 Six children. Six children. How many grandchildren? Six grandchildren. Six grandchildren. You know, so when someone with that much wisdom says, I wish I'd realized this about myself when I was younger, and I'm not, and I wish, you know, not going to pay, not going to be bothered by what other people think of me. I want people to really listen to that and think, okay, to what degree have I aware of that? To what degree am I incorporating that into my life? Because if we don't listen to people who walk this path before us, then we don't really stand a chance. And so I'm so grateful to have spent this time with you today, learned so much about you, such wisdom to pass on to others, but also to take on board myself. So many people question Annie and I.

1:11:01 They say, I say, why do you look so young? And they say, can you tell us why? I say, yes, we have sex every day. I'm a great believer in everyday sex. Keeps you young. And it's ageless when you're taught how to do it. Awesome. Well, we definitely will have a longer talk on that. But John, where can people, where can people connect with you and work with you? And there are two websites. We have one which is wetalkaboutsex.com, we talkaboutsex.com. So I'm John at wetalkaboutsex.com or miraclesrock.com and I'm on john at miraclesrock.com.

1:11:44 So take a look, whichever one draws you. And I have to acknowledge you, Johnny, because I think it's an inborn thing that one always admires somebody who has abilities which is like complements what you do, but you don't have them. And the way you put this together, sensation. I love it. I think you've done a wonderful job and I appreciate it. I appreciate having this time with you because you're a lovely guy. Thank you. Likewise, I know clearly I can't wait to have more opportunities to involve you with Team Super Dad and to share your wisdom further. Can I tell you who you remind me of? I always think we've got doubles because everybody thinks I look like Michael Cain. You see, I've been stomped in the streets. Not really. You remind me of a wonderful footballer we have at Brighton, or we had at Brighton.

1:12:29 He's just come back again now to act as a coach. You have a look at him. So it's called Steve Sidwell. Steve Sidwell. I know Steve Sidwell. Yeah, he used to be at Chelsea, Reading. You have a look at him. Put a red wig on you. Yeah, exactly. He's got a lot of red hair. Fantastic. Thank you, Johnny. Brilliant, John. And I will get off you, you know, there's different books we've mentioned and stuff, or I'll listen back to it and we'll put those in the show notes. So, yeah, John, once again, thank you so much to everyone that's listened to the end of the show. Thank you so much. The magic is at the end of the show, as I always say. So for those of you who have stayed this long, you are, you know, you're of the 20% kind of thing, but the magic is here.

1:13:08 So stay tuned for all of the podcast right till the end. And I look forward to seeing you inside the Team Super Dad community over on Facebook or on the website teamsuperdad.com and in the Team Super Dad program. Thanks again. Take care. Thanks, Johnny. Take care. Bye now. Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. I love interviewing John. I mean, I love interviewing everybody, but particularly when you start talking to someone who's got such energy and so many stories to tell and how they weave into such a positive message.

1:13:45 Team Super Dad is all about that, basically. It's a positive message for dads. And mum. mums. I mean, blind me, I've been wrestling with this whole idea of is this only for dads? And increasingly, I'm wondering if it's actually about mums and dads of the same mindset. These we are people who want more from life, people who feel empowered by their choices, people who are fed up with being, I don't know, bored, having things go wrong. And we really want to have more out of our life. And I think that the idea that that can't be for women or that there aren't, you know, imagine basically a group of men and women

1:14:26 in that mindset. I'm thinking about our upcoming firewalking events and looking at some events for next year where we're going to have a number of different speakers on those six areas of life for the health, wealth, relationships, faith, fun, and personal power. And really having a great time there, doing some empowerment, arrow breaking and barbending on your throat and ultimately ending the day with the firewalk. So stay tuned for that. Come on over to the Facebook community and let me know when you would like that event to be. We've got the Christmas, I've called it the Christmas and New Year happiness course.

1:15:06 It's basically a hangout, a weekly video call and hangout for dads and getting through Christmas. Sometimes we don't have our kids all as much as we want and other times we perhaps would like a few more friends and a bit more fun over Christmas. So I'm here to help. I can't do that on my own, so we're here together as a community to help each other. As always, thanks so much for listening. If you're still tuned in, then you are the crew that matter the most. Send me your ideas, thoughts, and suggestions. If you haven't left that review yet, please go and do it on iTunes or wherever you're listening into. This is Johnny Jensen, Team Super Dad out. Take care. Bye.

1:15:45 This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at Team Super Dad.com. Join the rebuild program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.