Be The Leader In Your Life Or Regret It

00:00 Being the leader in your own life. No one is making you feel useless, that is your choice and let's be real if you're blaming the people around you for how crap you feel then it's time to change! It's time for YOU to be the leader in YOUR LIFE! Let's go! Where is the lets go? Come on! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go! Welcome men to The Jonnie Jensen Show What a disastrous start but that is okay That is proof if you want proof that we're doing this live Please don't say Vuck or Bollocks

00:56 In true Big Brother style, but yes we are live. It's great to have you here Friday is our live streaming recording day and yes it is here with me all coming to you live from sunny UK wherever you are however you came here is my absolute pleasure to welcome I am the head coach and the founder at The High Value Man Project. We are equipping modern dads to create the life they desire instead of one that they feel stuck in, taking full responsibility to be in control leading a life full of vision we call it clarity full of courage and commitment daily habits and routines required to actually create the results that you desire

01:42 We're going to talk a lot about that today, but if you are in any way interested in what we're up to. If you've been listening and watching for awhile then get yourself over to the highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group that will put you into the base camp. That is an entry level program and process there's a whole bunch of tools in there for single dads or men who feel like they are lacking direction. There's the relationship reset for people whose relationships are struggling And clearly there is everything we're doing on the positive side of the 3XC formula for living and the fire code so that you can actually level up and start to create the life that you desire. The secrets of success are not really that secret, it's just that most of us don't know what to do or just aren't doing what it takes to make it happen. So get yourself involved over at the highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group! That's that welcome I seriously balled up the intro

02:39 You know what happened? Okay, yeah. Some level of piss poor preparation but equally it is half term school holidays I'm rushing around like a nutter. I was hanging out washing half an hour ago which should have been enough time but then when i sat down to go live StreamYard said oh can we please reconnect to Facebook and then plugged the phone in to be the camera and Camo said can we please open up iTunes Can we please, everybody's asking me stuff. Kids are off to the cinema I've had friends over sleepovers mess oh my gosh arguments about whose mess it is and you know when two people say it's not my mess and I've been out at meetings and networking

03:30 Doing workshops with people. I know it's not my mess, so... but there we go! That's the magic of being a parent you will have heard it all before I dare say if your kids are little then you've got it all to come how you take it on the chin though is what matters this is what we're all about at The High Value Man Project Too many men are fannying around living a small life. And that's not necessarily a reflection on what you've created, it's a reflection on what you're experiencing. You can be immensely successful and still be having a small life. You can be flipping penniless and be having an incredible life. That's the flip side of it. Some people dance in the rain other people run and cover high, look for cover...that's on you!

04:15 That's really what todays episode is about. If you are enjoying the Jonnie Jensen Show then make sure you leave us a review over on Apple Podcast or Spotify, there will be links in all the podcast show notes to do that I must keep putting it in the live stream to actually make that happen as well. But yeah, just go and search up Jonnie Jensen Show on either of those two and you can leave a review. Of course share this! Share this! Keep sharing it! Share it! Share it! Let's increase the reach and grow the audience of this and the work that we're doing in The High Value Man Project there are so many groups

04:57 On Facebook, let alone anywhere else of men who are going through a tough time. And it doesn't have to be that way but it can't be that way one of the biggest problems that we face in the world right now is the level of satisfaction and The sort of score in my own mind of how their relationship is looking, how their body is looking. How they're looking physically you know? In terms of their hair and face and clothes... And it just occurs to me like not that those um what's the word when you're holding something so it's real and you can measure your life by all the things that

05:58 Someone drop it in the comments, let me know. But materialistic there we go, not that life has to be all materialistic but when you show up As a man that is totally leading in his life, then the people around you are inspired or drawn towards you. Are collectively excited and the complete opposite is true when there is no enthusiasm. There's no vision. There's no showing up and lighting up a room. There's no energy about what you do. You look crap! You sound like nothing exciting to say... You've grown some beard that your missus hates and tells her tough.

06:41 I don't know what it's going to take, but i hope that the people, the men listening to this right now are asking themselves these kind of questions. What is it gonna do? What's it gonna take to go to the next level, to create the experience that I truly believe I desire and deserve one guy and I'm not gonna name him because I think he posted anonymously That's another subject isn't it Facebook groups how many people post anonymously I don't get it. Post after post, anonymous! This is a deeply important thing that I couldn't possibly let anybody know who I am and then it's some sort of minor thing... How do I fix my lawnmower? Anonymous okay cool but this guy he was

07:26 He started off by saying that the expectations that he feels the people around him have on him are unfair. That he's being judged by his dad's abilities to fix things, to do things, to be good at manual labour or dexterous... talking about DIY as one of the things and He was saying it's not fair on them to make me feel guilty and then I feel depressed and flat because of that. Well, I couldn't stop myself obviously is the nature of what i'm commenting on adding to these groups to say hang on a minute mate nobody makes you feel guilty

08:09 You might not like what they say, but even then what is it that you don't like about what they say? And we'll come on to whether someone can make you feel depressed or deflated in a moment. But the idea that someone can make you feel guilty because of something you're not very good at... Well, that's not taking a level of responsibility that's required because if you don't care about being able to do DIY I'm alright at DIY. I can hammer something in, I could put a picture up... But then when it comes to putting IKEA things together generally i'll put it together get to the last page realize that done something wrong and have to go all the way back you know? I don't like here of course but if you can't afford to pay someone and you're not very good at it then fundamentally your left sat there going well I'm shit because I don't know how to do it and I'm shit because I can't afford to pay someone else that is a recognition of where you are

09:09 It's not a record. Oh, and by the way if you've got no mates who you can call upon to say hey I'm really good at flipping maths and computers and you're really good at building stuff any chance like I helped you last week? Any chance you can come around help me put this thing together or fix this thing that's leaking so they're the three levels You haven't got any money, you don't know how to do things and you haven't got any mates to help you put it together You're going to feel shit about yourself. It's not about what the people around you think, because first and foremost we want as ourselves to feel like the kind of man that has got everything handled when the people around you see you consistently not having things handled The idea that you know what they are thinking is part where this guilt or other negative words you might have comes from but it's is not actually

10:09 They judging you badly feel they are awesome what's probably in front of that is a concern. If it someone that cares about you and loves you if your not showing up, you're not making the money if your not socializing and got people around you to love and support you have fun with if u can't do basic stuff then people are gonna lose faith there's going to be a level of concerning and particular if its your wife she will be Feeling unnerved, uncertain and insecure in your lack of strength. In your lack of showing up for yourself and her and the family in the world so then the relationship starts to struggle or relationships become strained particularly if you then snap back oh don't judge me like that! Don't tell me how I should be...don't tell me it's this level of awareness and responsibility that shapes

11:07 Everything is recognizing that how we feel is generally driven not by other people but how we measuring ourselves on the expectation that we had for our lives. And as for feeling depressed, as a feeling unhappy or they make me feel this way no one makes you feel that way. You are choosing how to respond to their words to their body language to their energy you are choosing If someone you didn't care about thought something like that about you, would you give it to us? I would hope not because why would anyone want to really care about what people they don't even know think about them. That's ludicrous! It's a complete waste of energy

11:52 Fundamentally this does boil back down to how you see yourself, how you want to create a life and how close or far away that you feel. Because when you feel far away from it or when you feel like it's drifting further away... It will create friction! It will create turbulence So number one, clarity. You've got to have a vision and purpose or direction that you're heading towards. Fulfillment as you will have heard me say before comes from two things one is knowing where your headed and number two is knowing that your working towards it without that clear direction in your life you are literally drifting

12:29 If you got a sense that there's something you can't do when you don't know what to do about it then you've got two choices if it matters enough you either one get out there and learn how to bloody do it or two, get out there and work out how to have pay someone or enroll someone to come in doing for you. It is true power basically not like power that your wielding over someone but influence its influence What kind of a picture do you have for yourself and your life? What kind of gaps are there, these sort of insecurities or uncertainties. You've got to address them and get real about them. They either matter in which case you're going to do something about it or they're not gonna matter in which case who gives a toss what other people think that's clarity that having a clear sense of purpose who you are the direction you're going

13:24 Then of course is the blaming thing. This falls into courage inside The High Value Man Project and in particular around letting go, you can't go around being upset and annoyed and fed up with the people in your life it's ridiculous! You either have a conversation with them about how they're feeling or what you feel they're feeling and get it cleared up by actually asking the questions why do you ask me that? I'm not so sure i really like it when you tell me that I am shit at things. What would you

14:01 Prefer that I was able to do and if i don't like doing those things how would you know let's talk about how we gonna fix those. That is having the courage to talk to that person, to address that subject because when you don't have the courage to do that and you just kind of take it on the chin in drift away oh they dont like me what am i going to do about it poor me thats not leading your life That's not showing up as the man that you want to be. It is literally a punch in the bollocks and then rather than going, why did you do that? You go oh dear and skulk away backwards into the background. And that's not about weak broken men either. Men do this in their relationships

14:47 I feel that there's something going on that they can't have an influence or a say in, so they take the punch in the bollocks. They don't say what they really want to say and they withdraw but hold onto the upset this kind of resentment and frustration festers inside of a relationship whether it's with your dad who you think judging you about not doing DIY or whether its when your in your relationship with your wife who thinks you dont help out enough It's on you to address the conversations, to bring up the subjects. To bring it to a level in a masculine confident leadership way that enables you to say I don't really like how this is going i'd like to make it better what can I do that would work for you here's what I think I can do for us That's how you get a positive response over someone

15:35 If you're just passively going through life waiting for things to change, hoping that someone else is gonna see things in a different way but not actually saying anything about it then you're an idiot. You are an absolute idiot! You literally sat there on the Titanic waiting for someone to come along fix the hole and let the boat sail away into sunset without going down however many miles it went down Can you see that? can you get it? It's that lack of courage that has men fall into a shell of their, of themselves. Has them withdraw? Has them end up in a downward trajectory because when you feel bad, when you don't feel loved and supported, when you feel like you can't do anything, when you feel that none of it's getting better then the negative energy is like a whirlpool everything else gets sucked in

16:31 Try showing up at work and being an impressive salesperson or leader when you feel like crap everywhere else in your life. It's a sham, a charade! You can't be confident in one area and completely impotent in another. They naturally impact on each other So the only way to do it is to create an upward trajectory and start to move things away from this negative way that you are choosing yourself to feel. And that's commitment, is the third C in The High Value Man 3XC Formula for Living. Commitment is doing what it takes to move forward

17:13 I just read another post today, this guy was talking about being a single dad. About how he had taken his daughter to swimming and how we could see all these other families there and he was feeling completely shit about himself. Quite honestly that is a common thing most men who are going through divorce will look at other families and feel like oh what am i gonna do they'll never be the same so I have empathy, in fact i have empathy with all men because most of us have felt this way. I had to work on myself to learn what I've learned to be able to be here for you today so I've been on that journey myself and say this from a place of knowledge and experience not from a high tower preaching down with no understanding where your at

18:00 This dad was saying, I can't wait to feel empowered instead of heartbroken. Now good that he can see a place in his future where he wants to get too but feeling empowered is the choice you might not feel 10 out of ten on that day one or right here now where you are but to feel empowered Even if you're a one out of ten looking around you taking the positives feeling like this is the start of a new chapter. This is day one I look at those people over there that's what I'm creating for my future, I look at my daughter here how incredible that's who I am for her this is better than being in a broken relationship I'm a better man

18:46 Even though it hurts right now, I'm a better man for her. I'm a better dad for her with this new chapter opening up in front of me available to create whatever i want let's get after that's the kind of commitment you take when your committed to a new chapter or page a better way forward It's getting up day after day and doing the little things that build the growth you desire. That is what leading in your life is like going back to the other story and the guy with it with a DIY thing, honestly either learn the skill make more money to pay someone or get out there and socialize and build connections with people who can help you if you had either of those three things you wouldn't be feeling crap at all

19:35 You'll be like, whoa! Chuck some money at it. Whoa guess what I learned today? Oh whoa my mate Steve's coming around The only way you feel shit is if you can't do anything about it and if you can't do anything about it then it's like okay here's what we're gonna do here's how we're going to build so I don't feel like this next month when this problem with this challenge comes up and it's not quick It's no instant there's nothing about momentum that has it been really quick out of the blocks Everything has to build up over time, even a flipping space rocket like standing on the launch pad. What it took to get there was a lot of man hours and sweat and determination and commitment when things went wrong to start again and looking at it from fresh perspective The biggest failure you can make is blaming others or waiting for something to change so that you can stop feeling the way that your feeling

20:41 Being the leader in your life, taking this on as an opportunity. Looking at where the gaps are is all that we have available to us Too many men are not willing to see what needs to be done. We'll drink too much, we'll stay up too late, will watch crap on TV for too long... ...we'll play something on the Gameboy, smoke weed take a cheeky lying gamble watch porn drink Red Bull like my own mother even you could say good healthy stuff

21:19 People who've got hobbies and they go to the gym or they go fishing. If you're doing that, it's like way more than is really warranted given the other gaps that are available then you're actually using that thing that feels nice as a distraction. That's not commitment! That is avoidance so when you break it down like this people say oh yeah but well okay give me that yeah but well yeah but she this or yeah but they that or yeah but you don't understand okay How did they get to that point? What are they thinking and what did you do that led to that because ultimately when you take responsibility, you can keep going back until you find the place where actually yes this is on me. This is on me to make a change, to lead in my life and create something new not as a pressure or as an expectation not of something heavy and hard but has a wonderful opportunity

22:19 This time that you got left on this rock, this role that you have as a dad and husband and friend brother and son. You to say what is the outcome I want what do i need to let go of to make it happen and what are the day-to-day actions habits and routines but im gonna take this gonna put it towards me because when someone turns around to you and says we ever were you doing You can then instead of feeling awkward and uncomfortable you can say, well actually it's a bloody good story. Actually this is what I'm up to and it's fucking cool! And its not like...I am no there yet but its building in the right direction. I met this person, I learnt this thing, I'm going to Los Angeles for a conference, I've been networking, I do 35 press ups now, just ran 28 minutes 5k and 6 weeks ago couldn't even finish

25:02 Be sure to share this around with the men in your life. I am looking to increase the subscribers of course and catch fire so we can truly pump a message around the world, and i can do that when you go over and subscribe if you're watching on YouTube then Subscribe to the Jonnie Jensen channel. It will make a huge difference to the way that YouTube pushes my videos out in front of people and the same goes for the podcast or if you're watching this on LinkedIn, or Facebook hit the like button leave a comment share this with people tag people so it draws them into it and all those efforts as well as getting you closer to The High Value Man Project will lift this message and mission up

25:50 Transform the lives of men so that all this negative chit chat online stops. So people start saying, oh look at what this bloke's up to! Look at this cool example of what the man over there are up too! Look at what this tribe of people just created! Look at what these role models are doing for the lives of these kids! That is not whats on the news right now and I'm a little bit fed-up with it because we're giving the media the chance to focus on the negative shit Let's make it absolutely impossible for the media to not focus on all the incredible things that men are doing in the world. The positive influence of masculinity, get yourself over to the high value man project dot com forward slash group or any other places that I just mentioned and look forward to being a difference in your life. High Value Man let's go!

26:46 Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow dads! Creating the life you deserve starts with YOU. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go