Episode 33: Rediscovering what matters

00:00 Before we get going, I have an invitation for you. If you're ready to find out how much easier it becomes to get things done when you have Make It Happen Club in your life? The doors are open to new members right now and i would love for you to join us! So Make It Happen club is a calm quiet sanctuary where you get the clarity focus and motivation you need Hello and welcome to Unfrazzle with me Louise Miller. If you're a solo business owner and you have a big exciting vision and loads of ideas that you want to get out in the world but without drowning in a sea of overwhelm, then this is the podcast for you. Each week I'll be sharing bite-sized insights to help you stop faffing and stay focused so you can make your brilliant ideas happen and make a bigger impact in the world It's time to step away from the hustle and find a kinder more sustainable approach to productivity So grab yourself a cuppa and let's get started

01:31 Before we dive into today's episode, I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who reached out after I shared that I needed to take a break. So in case you missed it my anxiety came out to play a little bit earlier this year meaning that i needed to walk my talk and be gentle with myself so we've had a few weeks where there have been no new episodes of the podcast and I have still been taking care of my private clients and my lovely Make It Happen Club members but stepping back a little bit for a few weeks gave me the space that I needed to reflect and recalibrate And unsurprisingly, that moment of pause provided a bit of a revelation and that is what I would love to share with you in today's episode of Unfrazzle.

02:09 So, back in 2016 my decision to quit my job and do my own thing was in part a response to a massive shift in how I viewed the world and my place in it. I realised that I didn't actually want to be part of the rat race. I didn't actually want the things our culture tells us we should strive for if you want to be seen as successful so climbing the corporate ladder buying a newer bigger home or a newer better car I discovered Brooke McCallery's podcast which at the time was called The Slow Your Home Podcast, now it's called The Tortoise and that opened up a whole new world for me and i realized that what i actually wanted was to slow down and to remove the pressure to keep up with the joneses and to be present and intentional in how i was living my life. So i knew that i wanted to live more sustainably both in terms of the choices i make and how they impact the planet we live on and the choices i make for my own well-being and enjoyment

03:03 And that was eight years ago and I'm very happy to say that i felt so much more myself since I discovered that Slow Living Movement which is all about living mindfully, paying attention making intentional choices that are right for you rather than getting swept along by what everyone else is doing. So fast forward to this year March and April of this year There had been stuff going on in our environment that contributed to my anxiety and I suspect some of it may have been hormonal as well but my mental health really took a nosedive, as i mentioned earlier. And it was during that period of wonkiness when I was sitting on the sofa one evening and one of the books on my bookshelves caught my eye...and the book was Care by Brooke McCallery which is yes the same Brooke whose podcast literally changed everything for me when I discovered it back in 2015

03:54 And I opened the book up and started to flick through it, and I saw the inscription that had been handwritten for me by Brooke. Because in a slightly surreal full circle moment, I actually found myself guesting on her podcast back in 2020. And flicking through the book reading Brookes words all of that made me feel a little bit emotional. It made me realize what had been happening so slowly that I didn't even really notice was that I had been moving further and further away from the slow and intentional living that i know brings me joy, peace and contentment. The plan when I quit my job was not for this new version of work to take over my life! And yet for a very long time... My business was taking up all the real estate in my brain

04:48 And if you're a business owner listening to this, I'm sure you can resonate with that. Right? It's very difficult to switch off and stop thinking about your business! It's a big part of our lives isn't it and what i realised had happened as i was sitting there with this gorgeous book all about taking back time and you know taking care of ourselves through play and movement and being in nature and all of that good stuff...it slowly dawned on me that without me really realising I'd allowed myself to get swept along into keeping up with a different set of Joneses. You know, that may not have been visible from the outside looking in because it's not like i was working crazy long days! I didn't join the hustle and grind brigade and in many ways I was still taking good care of myself but on the inside... And this you know feels like it was very subtle but it was still niggling away making an impact on the inside

05:50 Work and the pressure that I was putting on myself had become all-encompassing. And, I was without even realizing it internalizing a lot of the things that I don't actually agree with or believe in and there is more i could say about that but I'm still trying to make sense of it so I'm going to save that for another day But when I picked up Brooke's book I was reminded of my values. I was reminded why I do what I do Why I do that both for myself and what i want my life to look like, and for my clients who want to get the important things done and grow their business without burning out so that they can enjoy the life they're creating. And I realized that evening that I wanted to put more energy into enjoying the life I'm creating! I realized that my work had become so all-consuming that even though you know I wasn't working all hours of the day

06:44 I actually wasn't being intentional in the other parts of my life because my brain, there was always part of me that was invested in my work and my business. And flicking through that book I really remembered the importance of all of the other parts of life right? It sounds so silly but the importance of getting outside connecting with people you love moving playing All of that good stuff, I remembered why that stuff is important and actually it's not even about those things being important. It's about them being fun and fulfilling They're not important things i need to do they're life affirming things that I want to do And the thing is, it's not that I wasn't doing those things... ...it's just that I wasn't always being fully present with them So I began to think about how I can be more intentional about the stuff that I love That has got absolutely nothing to do with work and how I can make those things a priority rather than then being an afterthought

07:43 And it has been so fascinating to reflect on what happens when we first discover what really matters to us, like I did back in 2015-2016. Then what happens when we live and work in alignment with those values? What happens when we find ourselves in a situation where not entirely happy with because we allowed those values to take a back seat And maybe those moments of realising we're a bit out of whack are actually a gift, even if they can feel a bit brutal at the time because they're guiding us back to things that matter most. So am I annoyed that i didn't notice my gradual drift away from what matters most sooner? Of course, I am trying not to give myself a hard time but I do talk about this stuff all the time and I really should know better. But I am also grateful to have had the nudge that I needed to get me back on the path to a life and a business that weave and dance together in a way that feels really good and I'm excited to see what happens next!

08:41 So does any of this resonate for you? If so, I hope that it helps and i look forward to seeing you again soon. Thank you for listening to Unfrazzle! Sharing is caring so if you loved this episode please share it on your socials or head over to Spotify iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts and leave me a review not only will I be hugely grateful your ratings and reviews will help others to find this podcast so that even more people can make their ideas happen thanks so much and see you next time