Ep 03: Step #1 Your Personal Story - Ordinary moments, extraordinary impact

00:53 You're listening to The Business of Stories with Susan Payton, showing you how to share stories that do the selling in your business so you don't have too. In 2024 my daughter Amy was one of 53 700 people who ran the London Marathon Before she signed up for it, I have to be honest. I never really got it...I just thought that was for people who loved running a long way! But then I watched my daughter train – she'd never even run before so she was starting from scratch but followed the suggested training schedule to the letter and IT WAS TOUGH

01:37 Months and months of running on long, cold dark wet evenings when she'd really rather not be outside at all. She went through every emotion the tears the excitement as well as the blisters and cramps and a dislocated toe. She endured their sleepless nights physio sessions trying to stay strong physically and mentally when every run felt harder Months of planning, finding the right trainers and socks and gels and bum bag. Finding the strength to keep going when every bone and muscle in her body wanted her to stop And then finally that day came I went to London to cheer her on...and i realised something The London Marathon isn't about running at all It's about story after story after story

02:28 Thousands and thousands of people running, all with their own deeply personal story of why they were putting themselves through the agony and who they were doing it for. It was their way of paying tribute remembering a loved one supporting a cause close to their heart Or celebrating their own personal journey of overcoming a challenge. And as they ran past me, I saw some of those stories! I saw people running with photos of loved ones on their t-shirts... ...I saw a woman who'd had a double mastectomy.... ...I saw banners, messages, posters and even people carrying sentimental objects that obviously meant something to them It was so humbling and emotional and incredibly inspiring

03:14 Some of them were really struggling. A lot of them were in pain, some of them were limping, some of them were being held up by others but one thing was true for all of them they were determined to get through it the energy was high! The love support and admiration for every single one of them was at times overwhelming everyone was crying If ever there was an event that showed the power of stories, real raw personal stories that connected every single person in London that day. The runners, the supporters their loved ones then the London Marathon is it!

03:53 Who loves a great story? Whenever I ask that question, during a masterclass on stage everyone puts their hand up. Because we all do! We're programmed to...we're hardwired to tune into stories It's why they grab our attention and keep us engaged You don't daydream when you are reading a gripping book or watching a great film right?! They hold your attention Stories appeal to our senses and our emotions They make us feel something We're emotional beings and stories really tap into that. And stories can have an impact on us, they can make us reflect on our own story When you share your story I can guarantee some of the people listening will be reflecting on their own story as they hear it

04:40 We remember stories. They're sticky! Some studies suggest that stories are 22 times more memorable than facts or data, and we pass them on. We've been passing stories on since before we had language. Some of the earliest evidence of storytelling comes from cave paintings dating back as far as 30 000 years ago They're part of our DNA. And if you're someone who likes the science behind things, when we hear a story our limbic brain is activated and that's the part responsible for emotion decision-making and trust stories build trust

05:20 But all that said, I know some of you will be feeling resistance to sharing personal stories and i get that. I felt it too when I shared my story back in 2015. I questioned whether anyone would care Or if they would judge me. But it was one of the best, most powerful things I've ever done in my business and what actually happened was that it created connection real meaningful connection something I hadn't managed to do for the previous 12 months So I'm going to talk about getting over that reluctance and how you can share stories without oversharing And reframe some of those worries you have about being judged

06:02 But first, let's talk about what your personal stories are. For me everything starts here! For you to attract the right clients do the work you love build the business you want You need to be really clear on what that looks like because when you share who YOU are and WHAT YOU stand for... ...you're putting little threads out That the right people will pick up because they feel connected to you, they align with your values. They see who you are and it feels a good fit for them! So the first step in my process is unpacking those personal stories thinking about the journey you've been on and looking for the stories along the way your experiences of course but also the decisions you've made, the setbacks you've survived

06:51 The learnings and the insights you've gained. The moments that shifted your thinking It's your challenges but also your convictions, your values, your passion, your perspective Your ideas! The choices, the wins, the lessons and the inner work that no one saw but changed everything All the things that make you who you are today. You've lived a life full of experiences, so no matter your age or what life has looked like for you so far your story is packed with fascinating scenes and moments that make it utterly unique. No one else has lived your life

07:30 No one else has your story. But let me put your mind at rest about a few things, because I know from talking to people over the last 10 years that these are the concerns that come up when i talk about sharing your personal stories Firstly, your stories do not have to be dramatic! I've had so many people say my story really isn't that interesting you know it's not dramatic enough Let me tell you, when I shared my story back in 2015 it was not some humdinger of a tale right fit for our Hollywood blockbuster film. Far from it! It was just a very ordinary story about being a single mum having some health issues and other curveballs that life had thrown at me...it wasn't dramatic but you know what it was? Relatable

08:22 People related to my story because it was ordinary. That's why it connected the way it did. Not because it was dramatic, but because so many people could see themselves in it – bits of my story were like bits of their story and that is what made it relatable. Secondly your stories do not have to be long! People often think that a story is some long-form beautifully crafted narrative that takes people on a journey… And of course that is one type of story.

08:57 You may have heard of the Hero's Journey, right? Joseph Campbell's story arc that we see play out in most films and books where the hero gets called to action. Called out of their comfort zone to face a few dragons learn some hard truths and come back stronger It is a powerful framework because that is what life looks like Those are the emotional journeys we go on in life & business But not all your stories have to be like that They can be short. They can focus on moments along the way, rather than your whole story A story can be two sentences long – they come in all shapes and sizes So they don't have to be long or stand alone Stories can be weaved into everything you're already doing in your business To bring your teachings and shares and insights to life

09:48 Next, your stories do not have to include everything. One of the most common mistakes I see is people packing so many layers into their stories In fact one of the pieces of feedback i give in my group program the most Is that's great but that's not one story That's five stories The best stories are very simple at their core So you don't need to share as much detail as you think You really don't You don't need to give us all the backstory before you take us to the moment you actually want to share. You can cut straight to it! Where does a James Bond film start? Right bang in the middle of action, he's running across rooftops or through a crowded market usually being shot at… they don't set the scene – they don't fill us in on what is happening there's no explaining where he is and what's going on They just cut to the chase and your gripped

10:41 So one tip I give people is to write their story out the way they would normally tell it and then notice where the story actually gets going, and start there. You can usually delete everything that came before it so you don't need to include everything or overshare You remember the story I shared in episode 2 about the couple who'd been through a hard time? They didn't give me the details. They didn't need to, and I didn't need to know them for that story to still resonate with me It still made ME reflect it still made me feel connected to THEM It still made me want to buy from them and tell other people about them. Remember what I said earlier about passing stories on? That's what we do! So you don't have to include all the details, but i think this also feeds into another concern that I hear all the time which is does anyone really want to hear my story or why would people want to hear my story and I get why you might think that and where it might have come from We're often told in childhood not to show off

11:44 Don't brag, don't be too confident. Don't be the centre of attention. Don't make it all about you! And there's a lot people out there now telling you not to talk about YOU in your marketing That no one cares about you or your story. But if I'd listened to them, I would never have gone into my group that day and shared my story! I would never have created that connection and discovered just how powerful storytelling is. So it's not true – people do want to hear your stories. The key is to know why you're sharing the story because that allows you go from seeing your story as being about YOU

12:22 And instead seeing it as something that might be a guiding light for someone else. What if your story inspires someone? What if your story of getting past the curveballs and finding a way through, even when it felt hard What if the low points of your story give someone else hope or optimism, or the courage to step up and follow their dream? What if the bits of your story that make you feel vulnerable give someone else strength? What if your openness and honesty creates a space where someone else feels that they can be open and honest? Wouldn't it be a tragedy if those stories were never told. So let me bring in this week's question from a listener because again, It is something that comes up a lot. Hi Susan I'm Elaine Lingard of Emerald Education here's my question

13:17 How do I make peace with old parts of my story that i might not be ready to share while using them as fuel for my mission? Using stories as fuel for your mission, I love it. Even if you're not ready to share them! That's a great question and I know that not knowing what is okay to share or how not to overshare can hold people back from sharing I had someone in my group ask me something similar this week. She said her childhood had been really difficult and she wanted to know how she could share stories about her childhood experiences, and how they've made her who she is today without getting too personal so here's the advice i gave her

13:59 You can work backwards. Start with the strong, resilient woman you are today and think about what is it that you took from your earlier experiences that made you that way? What do you know now as a result of those life experiences and what's the learning you want to share on pass-on? What parts of your story do you need to share for people to relate to it? It might be a thought A realization, a turning point, a defining moment. What parts of your story will help your audience to feel seen understood and hopeful? What might it unlock for someone else as I record this episode i'm working with someone who helps women recover and move on from abusive relationships

14:45 But she told me that many women don't realise or are not sure if the relationship they were in was abusive because they were made to feel that they were over-reacting, or that it was their fault. Her own story is that she experienced three abusive relationships and she was so confused about them. She thought she'd just been unlucky or was really bad at choosing partners, and it took her 20 years to realise she was getting into relationships with narcissists! But her story has helped so many women recognise that the relationship they were in was in fact abusive – and it wasn't their fault

15:27 And that realisation, that understanding helps them get to a place mentally where they can start to recover and rebuild and move on. And make sure it doesn't happen again! So when you think about your story what's one insight your past has gifted you? That you could share to help someone else Lisa Nichols, who's one of the teachers featured in The Secret if you've seen that talks about standing on your story rather than in it.

16:12 Sharing the insights you've gained, the learnings how those experienced helped you grow and evolve and how they've made you who you are today. I wouldn't wish the health issues that i had for years on anyone but I can absolutely see how they led me down a path that I wouldn't otherwise have walked And when I look back and join up the dots, I can see how it led me here doing what I now do the way that I do it. But going back to Elaine's question... How do you use your story as fuel for your mission even if you're not ready to share it or don't want to share it? I should be really clear that this is never about sharing anything you don't want to share

16:52 I'm not here to tell you that you need to share anything that's raw or that you're still healing from, or that you simply don't want to share. But what i do want you to understand is that even the hardest stories can be told in a way that inspires others and And they can certainly serve as fuel for your mission. Your story can shape your values, your message it might be what drives you it might be your why and it might give you clarity on who you want to help why are so passionate about what you do and the message you want to return to again and again

17:27 So that the right people hear it. You'll never know how many people your story reaches and touches, they're not going to connect with everyone and that's okay you're not here for everyone but you absolutely are here to be the guiding light for some people And its your story that will light the way for them People need a reason to choose you, from all the other people out there doing what you do. Solving the problem you solve, offering something similar or different Your ideal clients have choices – a lot of choices! So they need a compelling reason to choose YOU. Your story can be that reason. Your stories can help people get a good sense of who you are and what you're about They'll show people what you do how you do it and why you do it

18:13 People are interested in your stories, so please don't listen to anyone who tells you they're not. Your stories are yours to share however you want to share them! Although I do want to say this… Storytelling in business is never about throwing out random stories with no real thinking about why you're sharing them So like everything you do in your business, you want to be strategic about it. You want to understand why you're sharing it? What's the purpose?

18:49 How is it serving you and your clients? How can you make it relatable? It just takes a bit of thinking. But honestly, you can make any story relatable when you understand your audience! Over the years I've shared stories about all sorts of weird and wacky things like getting my underwear stuck on a metal chair at business event Walking through M&S, which is a department store in the UK with my left boob out on show. Not deliberately obviously! Going travelling in my 20s My daughter running the London Marathon Caring for my dad Wetting myself at school Being bullied at school Having limiting beliefs about money Hating conflict because I was brought up in a pub Watching Marta Chef Having golf lessons...I could go on and on

19:38 I've told hundreds of stories over the last decade or so, and have made them all relevant and relatable to my idle client because I know them so well. And you have hundreds of stories too – each one giving people another piece of the puzzle that builds a picture of who YOU are! So, hopefully I have helped you see that you have a lot of stories. And I like to finish every episode with a small action step that you can go away and do! Here's your action step for today… Share a defining moment from your journey You don't have to share your whole story in one go – that is a lot and it can be overwhelming for you and your audience

20:22 So try choosing just one moment along the way and share that. If you've read my book, you'll know I share lots of moments in it The moment I told my story back in 2015 The moment I had the aha! moment and realised storytelling was my thing A moment when I sat in Heathrow Airport waiting to fly out to Nashville feeling a mix of emotions And one of the lowest moments in my battle with chronic fatigue. All moments, snippets of my story that help people get a feel for who I am So that's it! Choose one moment from your story that was significant in some way even if you didn't realise at the time and share it with your audience In the next episode we'll talk about step 2 of my process Your Business Story But before I go I have a small ask

21:13 This podcast is still very new, we're only three episodes in. So I'd love, love, LOVE you to help me spread the word. If this episode has resonated please share it with someone who needs to hear it! There are so many awesome amazing business owners out there who make a huge difference with their work but they're struggling to be seen and heard above all the noise. I'd love them to listen to this episode so they can use storytelling as a superpower in their business Thank you for sharing. And don't forget, if you have a question that you'd love me to answer on a future episode email it to me at susan at thebusinessofstories dot com and I'll see you next time for more stories that do the selling for you so you don't have too!

22:01 Thank you so much for being here. I love that we get to do this together! Would you do me a huge favour and please rate, review and follow this podcast in Apple Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts? And i'll see you next time for more honest conversations meaningful connections and of course stories