When Playgrounds Were Dangerous - The Wrap Up #30

00:00 It's that time of the week, the wrap-up. In this week's show, we talk Dangerous Playgrounds, Johnny's Billy Rubens, Eddie Murphy, and Hot in the 90s TV presenters, Roll Theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real Dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. We are live. Boom. Late night wrap up. It's Friday. It's that time of the week. And we're here. The Team Super Dad wrap-up is the podcast, the live stream that everybody loves.

00:44 Top chats for banter, for mums, for dads, the end of your week. Boom, boom, boom. Good to have you all here, Glenn. Good to see you, buddy. Good to be seen, Johnny. Good to be seen. Yeah, except for our podcast listeners who are listening and they're going, I hate it when they talk about the live stream and they know we're on a podcast. Wankers. Well, get involved, you know. Log on, viewers. Get in touch live and drop us a moat. We're going to do a box set at Christmas. It's going to be brilliant. You're going to be able to get the indexed and jump between shows and get the fans' favourite and all that jazz. It's going to be brilliant. Johnny, unplugged.

01:26 That's a phrase you never thought you'd hear before. Your life support was involved. Well, when you said plug, my brain just went to butt plug. I don't know why. That says far too much about you, my friend. Only time I've ever actually seen a butt plug is in Amsterdam porn shops in Amsterdam. Then you have not lived, mate. You have not lived. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to ask a question there. Definitely not. All outline, no detail. We'll leave it with that. Okay. A friend of mine had a girlfriend who, and she was the one that told us about her rosary beads.

02:08 And she liked to have them pushed up her bottom during sex. And then as she came, she liked to have them pulled out. Well, all I will say is if you are going into that area, ensure you have a flared end on it. Otherwise, you know what? Doctors work hard enough as it is. They don't need to be getting stuff out of you. Okay. Just make sure it's a flared end. Pro tip. Oh. See, that's just beyond me. I don't even know. Yeah, here's our little banner for the week. The wrap-up. Number 30. That's quite a nice round sort of. It is. I feel like we should have thrown some sort of party for it. Well, we're going to put it off. We're going to be like the Queen.

02:50 We're going to have a summer birthday party, a summer party. I've been to one of those, by the way. I've been to a couple of garden parties at the Buckingham Palace. In fact, that one of the... I used to do Yacht work in it. And our patron was Princess Anne, so I used to do loads of stuff involving her. And a couple of times I got invited to garden parties. And one time I went there, my mum, she's a massive royalist. So I actually went, as I was having a wander around the garden, found this really nice plant bush type thing, snapped a bit off, stuck it in a pocket, gave it to my mum, and she seeded it and planted it.

03:33 So technically, my mum tends the Queen's bush. She's got royal bush in her garden. That's all I'm saying. It's probably going to get me beheaded, but it's totally worth it. Just admitted it now. It's a number of people, like I've been to some hospitality events and there's a company. Nice guys. They're called Hospitality Finder. Big up Hospitality Finder. And they do this thing called The Green Room. And one of their regular guys is the rugby player that's married to the hot one. Oh, well, that's not going to narrow it down very much, is it? Women love a rugby player because, you know, they're all sizest players.

04:13 Size doesn't matter. And then they see a rugby player walking along. They're like, hello, maybe it does. She ignores the cauliflower ears and the fact that he's drinks his mates piss. No, what's the name? Come on. Tyndall. Okay. Mike Tyndall. I've heard of him. Yeah, Mike Tyndall is one of the regulars at the Hospitality Finder Green Room events. So he's got a few stories which are have royal approval, even though they're a bit close to the bone, basically.

04:50 So yeah, and he talks about different times when he's been sat and the first time he met the Queen and you get told the protocol. protocol. And I'm going to do his story no justice, but it's brilliant to hear how the normalness of life suddenly gets thrown a curveball when you're told, oh, you're probably going to speak to the queen later. It's mad. It's really weird. I've stayed overnight at one of her palaces. I've been around her house for dinner before and been to garden parties and stuff, but I've still never got within sort of 10 meters of the Queen.

05:29 So I'm a little bit annoyed. I've still got to do this, this, this thing, and actually just high-five her at some point. You need to get up the pecking order, yeah, definitely. Well, here's a funny one. So my dad also got invited to a garden party once. And as the story goes, it was around the time of my stepmum and him breaking up. But some level of protocol meant that it was best that they both still went. And so my dad's answer to most situations is get pissed, basically. He's my kind of man. And not in some brutal, drunken kind of let's let you know, but in a fun way, in a fun way.

06:15 But as given the tension in the air, apparently it wasn't that great. And my stepmum, ex-stepmum, she told me about how they got introduced to Princess Anne. And my dad, I love her. She's my favourite. My dad just did a classic fail. I was like, oh, hello, love, hello. Weren't you married to so-and-so, the horse rider? Whatever. Stinking of garlic and brandy. And yeah, so a good, my dad, top bloke, top bloke, you can always count on him to

06:54 ram raid a situation. It's weird with royal family. First time I got invited to Buckingham Palace, you actually do get a letter, like a proper little card that says, like by royal decree or something like that. It's proper, proper Buckingham Palace stationery. My mum has still got it framed on her wall. And that's how proud she was that I was going off to Buck Palace for a bit. Still, I think it's a bit. I'm a royalist as much as I don't dislike them. I think it's good for the country. I think it's like we're going to pay anyway, one way or the other. You think a president doesn't cost money? Bloody hell.

07:39 So, so, but yeah, how many people nick stuff? I mean, like, just, I think they probably like at the start of a garden party, they bring out like get 200 ashtrays in bog roll that's got the HRH on it, just because they know everyone's going to fleece the flipping. Three more ashtrays in the smoking room, uh, two pot plants in the toilets, and they just can't go around stocking it all up all day because they know give them give them stuff they can nick. So it's all right, yeah. Well, Glenn, uh, for anyone joining us for the first time, it wasn't even scheduled, a little chit-chat royal thing. Oh, it is a royal week as well, because uh, Harry and Megan,

08:23 it's all it's all the talk, isn't it? It's all the talk, so we can come back to that. Uh, but yeah, this is the wrap-up. This is what we do. We do we get together at the end of the week and we talk nonsense because we can't in the pub anymore, although that is coming back. Uh, and we're team super dad, uh, we are dads creating our best lives ever. Whether you're single, whether you're in a relationship, there's always an opportunity to stick your headphones on and have a break, basically. And talking a break, what's my son saying to me? I don't know. What is your son saying to you? He's he's uh, he's just talking about uh, where's he said, Can he go and can he go and sleep in my room? Because his sister is chatting with her mate and blah, blah, blah. Definitely can, definitely can.

09:07 You don't want to be around that voice, he's happy, and that's what matters. Uh, lost my train of thought totally. Oh, yeah, what we do, the wrap-up, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, uh, Team Super Dad, we're real dads creating our best lives ever. Single dads, dads in relationship still, sticking your headphones on, having a laugh. Uh, I've listened to podcasts for years. Glenn and I, we, we have a shared interest in uh in one of North London's, and probably actually North London's finest team. That's North London, North London's only team. There is a South London franchise that is currently playing there, but I'm sure they'll move on again at some point. They will, they will definitely. But The Fighting Cock is a great podcast, and the thing I like about it most, probably aside from the football, is just the laugh they have, the absolute laugh they have.

09:51 So, when I put the wrap-up together, I was like, This is something that dad. dads can listen to when they're cooking when they're mowing their lawn when they're driving in a car on on the way back home and have a bit of a laugh bit of a giggle try and be as relatable as possible and uh and yeah just just just tell one on ourselves we've got glenn who is at a dating dad on on twitter and instagram uh occasionally we have other guests join us um do you know this poor sound quality i just got to say to all our regulars apologies a bit about the sound quality last week i had i had my noise gate turned on as well so as well as dodgy i'm going to tune in via a mobile phone i had a setting on on my deck called noise gate which uh which doesn't help but there

10:38 we go and i'm really sorry for again to those regular listeners but but they were genuinely northern um there's nothing we can do about that it's just that we'll try and find some sort of filter to make them more understanding maybe we can do some sort of audio subtitles next time well everybody you got to go you've got to go categories of northerners as well you know because uh of course we have there there's watford and then there's the north no you got you got manx you got scallies geordies um broommies yeah north north north and north have you got any broomie mates yeah i have indeed yeah yeah um one of our one of my best mates who just started working with me actually he's a he's a he's from west bromage or wherever that is wherever that that team is um and genuinely he's he's got this this west country draw or is it

11:30 black black country draw not west country black country draw and it's uh it's an impressive thing to behold yeah i can't even do it i can attempt a bit of a broomie ta bit oh it's like i'm back in peaky blinders again you know oh man so i live with a broomie so when i went to uni uh i don't really know many broomies before i went to uni and then there's one guy uh um oh my steph steph good old steph full broomie about as broomie as it gets basically because the brilliant thing about broomies is is they're like they're they're just kind of like bonkers it's like they're daft but they're up for it they're they're up for it as well they're like you know you just they're just all in basically and then i had a

12:18 housemate when i first moved to london i i was working out where to live and who to live with and my brother's wife is now his brother's girlfriend at the time her best mate had been getting it on with this lad in falaraki they spent the summer in falaraki so i met this lad elliot and again just a classic broomey like real cheeky loads of geese about him but in a broomie way and all his clothes mattered and everything so elliot and i get a place together and then his mates would periodically come down and see us right so there'd be about 10 of these broommies that would that would turn up now that would always go wrong it would

12:57 always always go wrong and it it was they would end up having a they would go somewhere that where something was obviously going to go wrong like go to a strip bar and then get fleeced of all their money and then soho and got fleeced of all their money they would then have a fight between them about whose fault it was of course they're blind drunk by this time then it would completely fall apart before coming back together at the end in some kind of like bruised and battered drunken sort of big hug it out at the end and it happened every single time absolutely classic it's the brummy way that's all we've got to say

13:40 broomage no the word the word brummage the word broomage right is is it's it's it's uh it's a it's a word that means like a collection of crap it gets the word broomage because this sort of stuff used to be made um in in in the birmingham area right so i'm gonna look up broomage meaning i think that's pretty much it brummage oh nothing's coming up google google can't handle some um some uk uh slang it just keeps bringing up brummage no there's word brummage and how's your week been glen you told me earlier like you've been worked to the bone this week oh mate it's been long it's it's it's it's good i like being busy but it's getting to a state so i had my day job as normal um and then other duties have been plopped on me as someone there was a situation where so

14:33 i've now taken on managing another team uh and they're all onboarding and stuff and then we've had bids coming in and i've had presentations you know a couple of a few nights this week i've been working until sort of 1am just getting stuff done and then up for sort of 8 30 a.m meetings plus homeschooling, all that sort of stuff. I am shattered, absolutely shattered. It's nice, you know, when you're tired, but you're proud of your work and it's been a good week. But I've earned, I've earned a lay-in. And I'm really, it's quite, I'm actually quite pleased that my kids aren't here this week. They went back to their mums tonight. So I've got a week without them and I'm just going to sleep. Sleep the entire bloody time. It's nice, but I don't want to do it all the time. I've got to say.

15:18 Are you one of those people that can sleep in? Can you actually, can you actually, can you like do the other doc sort of level? Yeah. And in fact, tomorrow, we've got, it's great because at the moment, I don't know what you're like in terms of cricket, but the uh England versus India. And yes, we're probably going to end up in a bad way by the time I wake up tomorrow. But there's something really nice about waking up. There's been a couple of hours play, so it's settled in. And no matter what time I wake up, stick it on a telly in my room and then just sit there and lay in bed. I can lay in bed until sort of 11, 12 o'clock and just relax, enjoying the cricket, surfing a bit of Twitter, cup of tea. Life is good. That is a great way to spend a morning. And when you're on your own, probably the best way to spend your morning.

16:03 Do you have to get up then? I wake up. I can't. I got hands in my pants. I'm like, right, what time is it? What's happening? If I wake up at quarter nine, that is a lay-in. That is, that's a stress. No, there's nothing nicer. And especially if you've got someone you're enjoying your time with, there's nothing. I remember a while ago, I woke up and I was with a lady and we enjoyed a bit of time together and then relaxed and watched the, I think it was, was it Le Man was on? So we watched, and she was big into motorsports. So we watched a couple of hours at Le Man, enjoyed ourselves a bit more, had a brunch in bed and just relaxed and chilled until about one in the afternoon.

16:47 That is a great way to spend a day, I've got to say. Yes, I could definitely be talked into that, that's for sure. But you don't have to get up. You can't do that if you're getting up and mowing the fucking grass or something. I know, but I'm not going to get up if I've got a woman in the bed, am I? I might get up for something, but that's about getting out of my bed. But I, because I am not a morning guy, you know, I've dated women and they've been the last couple of women I've had like relationshiping type stuff with, they're both from teachers, and they've been getting up at sort of half five in the morning, six in the morning, so they can get up, get ready, get set, get out of our house so they can get to their school for half past seven.

17:33 But of course, as soon as they're awake, I have to be awake, whether I'm at my house or their house. And it's, no, I don't want to be a week. I'm a night owl. I don't want to go to bed until midnight at one in the morning or something like that because all the best things happen at night time. No good things happen early morning. Yet they insist on getting up and having a job where they actually have to get up and go to work. It's not right. I think there should be laws against it. Okay. Fair do's. Fair do's. I'm a morning person. In that case, you and me are never going to work romantically. I've got to say, sorry, man. Don't mean to let you down here. Watching Le Monde's in bed together.

18:16 Well, I've got a running order, as always. I've got a little bit of stuff to chit-chat this week. Before we do that, how was your week? Oh, um, tough, I think. Just got a lot going on. Team Super Dad is, you know, I'm pushing it on. And there's always a list. I've always written a list. And I'm a sucker for putting too much on the list. There's a quote saying I've been told and have been using it and playing with it a bit recently. We underestimate, sorry, we overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year.

18:56 And you can play with it as well. Like you can overestimate what you can do in a day and underestimate what you can do in a week. And so I make the lists and I'm like, okay, that's a lot of stuff. Where do I go? And I'm like a madman. I'm like bat the rat trying to, but of course I end up doing tickle 10 things and don't finish any of them. So then I get to Friday and like, oh my gosh, I've not finished any of them. So I have to cope with that. When I'm working with dad, sometimes a subject comes up, and you can see that, and you're talking about it. And I go, breathe. And it's remarkable when someone says to you, breathe. And you go, oh my gosh, yeah, I do need to breathe actually.

19:41 So yeah, it's been a bit like that. Obviously, a bit of football. kids came back on Wednesday. Spurs were on TV on Thursday. Um, oh, I've been running, I've been foot fitness, the fitness is back. Obviously, with a regular subject, we cover. You are my, you're the yang to my ying until one day when you come knocking and go, Johnny, you know, I've been saying I don't do fitness for the last three years. Can you, I'm not saying I don't need it, I'm not saying I don't want to, I'm just bloody lazy. I just, I'm just not the sort of person who has any motivation whatsoever to actually get off their ass and make their life better.

20:19 I need a challenge, yeah. Either it will come and it will stick, or you're going to fall in love with someone who agrees with you and you're just going to Wayne Wayne and Wayne Eddie into old age. They were happy, they were besides the fact Wayne Ed went off and had, oh, what does she describe? Uh, I want a baby, I want a brown baby, and so she went off and had an affair and came back. But Wayne took her back, bless him, and he loved those kids like they were as his own. I've got to say that if that ain't love, what is that's basically Shakespearean? It is. I'm sure Harry Enfield was thinking that when he scripted it, he was thinking Shakespeare, definitely, definitely.

21:00 Weirdly, actually, I do. I did listen to an amazing podcast where he actually looked into the discussion the psychology and the economic impact of loads of money and how actually it created the entire character was actually commandeered by the Tory party of the time, even though it was a satirical parody of their policies. And he was actually quite frustrated at the fact that he was satirizing them, but they were claiming it as a mark of honor to the point where actually his character was quoted in Hansard. And I was like, no, this shouldn't be the case. I wrote this for these reasons. He was actually being quite clever about what he was doing. So I'm not, whilst I'm not saying Wayne and Wayne Etter are the Romeo and Juliet of our time, what I am saying is

21:42 he was sharper than he let on. Oh, unbelievably. Well, all good comedians are. It comes from a satirical reflection on the world around us, which they show us. And we all laugh at that, failing often to realize what they're actually talking about. What was that Friday Night Live? Why don't we have Friday Night Live? That was bloody brilliant, that TV programme. It was hilarious. We don't have any good shows on comedy these days. There's panel shows, great. Eight out of 10 Cat Stars Countdown. Actually, I bloody like. Would I lie to you? That, you know, there's satirical panel shows. But when was the last great sketch show?

22:23 Oh, well, fast show. Fast show. Oh, fast show was 20 years ago. Yeah, Little Britain would have probably been the last one. 25 years ago. Little Britain was 25 years ago. Something like that. It was a long, long, long time ago. This was early noughties at the very latest. There hasn't been a great sketch comedy show for about 20 years, as far as I can tell. You had Smack the Pony, Big Train, Fast Show, Goodness Gracious Me. The sketch in Big Train, right? When this American guy, he's bought the Ritz.

23:03 He's bought the Ritz Hotel. So he sat there in the meeting with the manager and the chef and the head butler or whatever. And he goes, I love this place. I'm so happy to buy it. Oh, man, I'm so excited. One little thing. I want to change the name to the tits. And then he's like, I love the name Tits. I want to, it's just flipping brilliant. But yeah, I'm absolutely gutted. There's not the actually, tell a lie. Now, this is one of those things where people don't, most people don't know about it. But I promise you, I promise you, it's the funniest thing I've seen in many a year.

23:46 Familam. It's a BBC free thing. Familam. It's just genius. It's a work of genius. I promise you, look it up and watch it. Come back and tell me. I would say tell me what you think about it, but just share the love for it because it is absolutely incredible. That's the most modern, most the best sketch comedy show of recent times. But it's just one that nobody knows about because it was a BBC3 thing. So it's old or it's new? New. Yeah, new. They've done about three or four series, but for some reason, it never massively took off. Well, they put a lot of stuff on BBC. There is a lot of funny stuff on BBC3, actually.

24:32 We are out of the demographic. We are old, middle-aged now. Yes, I am. We're watching reruns. Oh, I saw. the reruns of the two runnies the other night. There's a sketch code for you. By the way, a little rewind of something earlier. Brumajum, I spelt it wrong. Quote, in context, a vile Brummagem substitute for the genuine article, cheap, showy, or counterfeit, which is classic for some of it's a bit harsh on some of the Brummies I know, but also sometimes kind of kind of fits, says the man wearing one of his 50 black polo shirts.

25:15 On the subject of comedy, right? Did you see Baxter's back to Coming to America 2 is out this week? What do you think of that? What's your opinion? Because I've not seen it, but obviously, Coming to America 1 was one of the greatest comedy TV, comedy movies of the 80s. It's got yeah, 80s, yeah, it's gotta be. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna IMD and be it. Yeah, absolutely classic. I just can't see it being good, basically. I am uh Eddie Murphy, people don't even realize he played about six characters in the film. Uh, just absolutely doesn't did where did it. I mean, if they did the follow-up right, it could have been funny.

25:57 I'm worried about it because he is, he was an absolute genius, but he was off his moment. You know, that was he was he was energetic, he was young, he was he was breaking boundaries, um, and he was doing things that nobody else had ever done before and saying things and acting in a way that no one had ever gone come close to. Whereas now he's he's the institution, you know. It's not just that you aren't just looking for the new Eddie Murphy, you're looking for the new, whatever the new Eddie Murphy was 20 years ago. So I'm worried that he might, he might not be, he might be trying to recreate the magic instead of trying to recreate something new. Yeah, well, here we go. Premieres on Amazon Prime on March the 5th tonight.

26:42 Premiering. So yeah, we'll catch up with that. So I will see. I will watch it. I've got a very high tolerance for crap films. So I'm going to watch it because I want, but also I want to re-watch the first one because I want to work out whether I can let my kids watch it. Because most of it out by that, yeah, there's a lot of sexual innuendos in there. Exactly. And I'm okay with sexual innuendos because a lot of that's just going to go straight over their heads. But there's some pretty basic stuff. Like at one point, he's getting bathed and someone, a beautiful woman, pops up from between his legs and says the royal penis is clean. I don't want to be sitting there with my kids whilst they're thinking that some woman is cleaning some man's penis.

27:23 So I might leave that one for the time being, I think. True, but then obviously, you know, we've got different age kids. 1988 was coming to America. So even, so when that came out, 1988, holy moly. Yes, that's 33 years ago. That's a third of a century ago. I was 14. And I tell you what's weird. When you're thinking about that, what year was 33 years before you were born? Oh, I've done this before. Yeah. You think like flipping black and white TV and flipping rock and roll?

28:00 Because for me, yeah, that was 1957. So that is as distant from my birth as 1957 is from my birth. And that's just mental. Well, I listen to Center Force Radio a lot, right? It's an old, it's uh, it's it's a dance music station, but it's it's an old pirate station from the rave days. That's wicked because I read Centre Fold magazine, and I'm pretty sure that's the same sort of thing, isn't it? I do believe so. You know, you must get those on eBay, I reckon. Must be uh check the uh check the description for quality. Didn't we talk about that the other week about Paulos and chucking him away? I think we did. Probably, probably.

28:46 So I think I'm pretty sure I watched Coming to America at the movies, yeah, at the cinema. I don't know. Our kids, kids are so sanitized these days, what they get up to and what we get up to. Um, playgrounds. I was at the playground today, it was a playground that I went to with my granddad used to take us there, yeah. And it's just boring now, they're bloody safe. I've got to say that I would rather have keep the dangerous stuff, but let them fall on the spongy floor. Surely, that's the most important thing. Yeah, yeah, yes, and no. See, I don't, I know,

29:29 okay. I was going to say no one ever died, and that's true, but um, we used to have. in our playground in Walthamstow, there was half the equipment was like normal, and then half of it was double height. So you had little swings, and then you had the big swings where you could get some real takeoff velocity on those sort of things. And you had little slides and big slides. And we were over there once. My mum had dropped us off at the park and said, look after your brothers and sisters, brother, and sister. And it must have been just two of them at that stage. And she went off and did her shopping. And then my brother has climbed up. I don't know, he must have been eight, nine years old, climbed up onto the big, big slide and decided to do a Superman down it.

30:11 And of course, he's done a Superman and he missed the slide and fell off the side of the thing onto his head, cracked his skull open, broke his skull and all that sort of stuff. And I had to go, I must have run about three miles around the shops trying to find my mum. He didn't die. So that's all right, innit? Yeah. That level of danger and risk is part of play, surely. There has to be a risk of death. Otherwise, are you really alive? So I was looking, I was on, I was on the internet today looking this up to see. So the playground we went to, yeah, used to have Witch's Hat. Yeah, they were good.

30:49 It was a triangle, like a cone, a cone, ice cream cone type, pointing up. So the fat bit at the bottom, the pointy bit up at the top, and then three layers that you could climb up. So you could get maybe 20 kids around the bottom layer, 10 kids, well, probably more than this, actually, if you really went for it. You rammed them on, yeah. 20, 30 kids on the bottom layer, 20 in the middle, and then 10 on the on the top. And then, and then, because with that many people on, it would swing ferociously back and forward and then wham against this metal pole in the middle. Crazy and so much fun. Yeah, I've actually, um, I didn't mention this, I've actually got a picture of me being really dangerous in the park right here.

31:33 It's just totally coincidentally. Um, and for those at home, uh, here's a picture of me absolutely going full-out mental on a swing. There's there's metal, there's grease, um, and there's a look in my eyes that looks like I'm gonna kill someone basically. Oh, it's just it's just crazy. So, some of these pictures on the internet, there's a there's a blind, I feel like I've had a stroke. The um slide that's not a hard word, mate. A slide is not a hard word. I had a stroke, I've got to stutter. Uh, so here I'll bring the screen in, share, share screen because this is a beautiful slide.

32:14 And come on, come on, Eileen. There we go. Boom. Sorry for the podcast listeners, but here is right. This is brilliant. So, these slides, and I remember you're talking about 25 foot up. So, it's definitely some the height of an average house roof. Kids lining up behind each other on the ladder, waiting to go down. And then, actually, it would have been slippery. They make slides out of some weird metal these days. What the hell is that about? Yeah, if you if you can't reach terminal velocity going down a slide, then that is not a good enough slide. I gotta say, absolute bullshit. Basically, these things used to be uh cobbled together out of bits of scaffolding, no, no corners.

32:57 And even when they put um, when they put down um underneath these things, they used to put these, you're saying those foam mats underneath them. The whole everything you do, the whole point was to clear the mats. So, when you're on the slide, you want to whip off the end of the slide. When you're on a swing, you're swinging around and you're absolutely trying to take off the sling side. Look at this one. This is even older. This is like I don't know if you've I don't know if you ever noticed in this picture. You've got all the kids playing on it. Um, just focus on the left, about a third of the way up on the left. Um, the kid who's actually fallen off the fallen off the scaffolding, and you can just see him plummeting to the ground in the black outfit, yeah.

33:41 Yep, brilliant, but no one died, you know. I had so many kids back then, they'd be like, Oh, a bit like uh, like um, uh, meaning a life, like, oh, pick that up for us, would you love? It's why I'm 106, I'm sure. There we go, pick that up for us, would you love? Oh, man, so uh, hot in the 90s. I thought we would do TV presenters this week, TV presenters. There were some, there were some hot TV presenters in the 90s, I gotta say. So, George, do you want to go alternates? Because I've got several in mind that I want to mention. Okay, okay, good.

34:26 Go on then. Okay, to start with, I'm going. going to go for the twins from the funhouse. Oh, good. Okay. Pat Sharp's Funhouse. There are a pair of twins on there who were on it. One more yellow, one more red. You know, they're only still in their 40s. They're only a few years older than me. I'm quite pleased about that fact. It gives me hope. I love that. I used to love the fucking funhouse. Let's get a picture of these two women up. That was one of them. Yeah, that was one of the TV shows that I wanted to go on the most. Funhouse, a whole lot of fun. Prizes to be won. It's a real wacky show. We're in it thinking, cool. And I'm pretty sure they should do an adult version of it as well. Here we are.

35:08 There they are. There's the two twins. Not bad. Okay. Well, I was, I was. I won't steal the thunder because my thought. Oh, where's the where is she gone? My thought was, I instantly thought about the big breakfast. Oh, good shout. She's gone. But my instant thought was actually Denise Van Outen. Nice. Yeah. See, a lot of fun. A lot of mouth. A lot of fun. And yeah, she could definitely keep up with the boys. But for me, I had a problem because she sounds very similar to my stepsister.

35:45 And you can't fancy your sister, basically. It's just not the done thing. No, although the most watch table on you porn would suggest otherwise, which I find I found bloody creepy. Someone who didn't sound like my sister was Aurica Johnson of Gladiators fame. Oh, good. Good. You don't even need to Google her. Just mental image because she was a hottie. Oh, man. I'm just having a little moment there. But even before her, because we're going TV presenters, Michaela Strachan. Yes. Yeah. Michaela Strachan. Oh, God.

36:32 Yeah, she was definitely an inspiration in many ways. I bet she's older than us. She must be quite old. She's older. She is older, I should think, by now. But she was in what, the Wide Awake Club. Yeah. Timmy Mallett and so on. I met Timmy Mallet when I was on Soccer AM once. He is every bit as mental as you think he is. You see the character he is? He is just that in real life. There's no switch. There's no character. He is just constantly Timmy Mallet. Oh, Michaela Strachan's holding up quite well, actually. Let's bring her in. Let's bring her in. Here she comes. She's holding up quite well.

37:14 Yes. Yeah. Not unattractive at all, I've got to say. Yeah. Someone else who is still very, very attractive. Here we go. What was that? Swimsuit shop. Yeah, yeah, it's obligatory. There we go. Excellent. Good to work, Michaela. She did that animal program for ages. Oh, was it like something like Spring Watch or something? I know, with the mad bloke with the bald head and the hair around the sides. Terry Nuttle. Terry Nutkins. Nutkins. Surely he was checked out during the pedo. I'm not going near that sort of a statement.

37:57 He must have had a file. Did they also have Chris Packham on there? I don't know who Chris Packham is. He was a TV nature person. And I quoted him. I was doing a talk this week on digital transformation. And I quoted him because he told me, not told me personally at all. He told the world that he would eat the last panda if it meant that the money they were spending in saving pandas could actually be spent on saving things that mattered to the natural world. And I thought that was an amazing statement. So I loved it. Also made me wonder what panda tastes like. Chicken. Yeah. Another thing I wondered what tasted like for a long time was Philippa Forrester.

38:41 And how did you get this question answered? Well, I haven't yet. Philippa, if you're looking, I'm still very much available. She was obviously not just on CBBC, but she was half of the team on Robot Wars. And as an absolute unapologetic geek, I grew up on Robot Wars. It was the best show in the reboot on Telly was fantastic as well. Massively underrated, undervalued. And I cannot believe they cut it. But I do wish they'd have brought a bit of Philippa Forrester back. There you go, Glenn, for your pleasure. There's a picture of her, a picture of her on Robot Wars set. Looking good. She's Scott. Is she Scottish? She is Scottish, is she?

39:25 No, no, well, she is. I don't know, but she sounded very, very plummy English. It was incredible. Yeah, I don't know where I got that from. I think someone who sounded a little less plummy. I don't know whether this might have been a bit late for you, but Josie Darby. Josie Darby. Yeah, Josie apostrophe or yeah, apostrophe Arby. She had a certain, as the French say, I don't know what about her. No, this is me filling it again. Is this her? She was the damn, she was in a broom cupboard for free.

40:04 Yes, yes, yes, that was her. Look at, I've got, I mean, look at those are cheekbones you could grape cheese off of again. Doing our bane balance good there, Glenn. Thank you for keeping here. Here's one for the for uh keeping our uh diversity up. Uh, Zina Badawi as a name I've not heard in a long time. Oh man, it used to crack me up every time. I used to love watching the channel for news and with uni, obviously stoned out of our brains. It would just be like and tonight with the Zina Badawi. No idea what Zina Badowie looks like, actually.

40:50 Zina Badowie. And my friend, my housemate, she's take especially Emma, Emma Swinburne, good at big up Emma Swinburne. She used to take the piss out of me because I had such a I just couldn't crack up enough. Zina Badowie news reporter. What does she look like? Let's find out. That's not her, is it? No, that doesn't look like someone I recognize. Really, I don't know how to spell Zina Badowie. That's probably what it is. One name you will be able to spell, though, is possibly, I would say, telepresenting royalty, and that is the one, the only, the Rochester Vixen herself, Kelly Brooke.

41:38 Well, Glenn, you teed this up as we prepped. You can't not. I would tee Kelly Brooke up any day of the week. Here we are. Here she is, kind of big, big breakfast time. Oh, she was together with Jason, Jason Staten for a while. Yeah, she did. And, you know, when we eventually end up together, then we'll laugh about those days. But yeah, early 90s, late 90s, early 00s, Kelly Brooke is possibly the most attractive person who's ever existed. In fact, and I say this, it's not just me saying that. This is science.

42:19 I say this in air quotes. Scientists took data from dozens and dozens of surveys about what proportions heterosexual men of a certain age bracket found most attractive. And they came up with these dimensions. And these were obviously self-declared and so on. And then when they looked through the photos and statistics of a bunch of celebrities of the time, Kelly Brooke came out as having the perfect set of features in every way, shape, and form. And I can't, you can't argue with science, effectively. She is exceptionally perfect. And in a similar way, actually, she does look like the in the movie Weird Science. She looks a bit like the

43:03 who's the woman that come they make out and she comes up out of the rocket and she looks her but and also the great thing what I love about Kelly Brooke is as well as the looks and she she has she's able to have a laugh constantly she doesn't take life too seriously she's got a great sense of humour um she's not as dumb as she makes out or as she's made out to be um I'm not saying she's an Einstein but she absolutely knows what she's doing uh and uh yeah just she's the perfect bundle all wrapped up in one beautiful form and she's a good Kent girl as well yeah Rochester lass so basically you know I'm now local I'm only I'm 10 minutes down the road from you Kelly call me okay call me yeah you got my number turns out by the way back to something I mentioned a couple of weeks ago it's nothing to do in Maidstone old maids doney or whatever you're either a man of Kent or a Kentish man depending

43:58 on whether you live in the north of Kent or or not in the north of Kent like north of Tunbridge or the whatever the last so we got some continuity there people who are regulars on the show will know will know that we're talking about I don't like to leave people hanging you know fill in the gaps fill in the gaps on the subject of gaps there's only one other person that I just wanted to make sure because you'd mentioned her, the glorious feline form of Cat Dealey. Oh, I was saving her. I was going to see your Kelly Brooke with a Cat Dealey. I did not want to let you miss out on that opportunity, mate. Sorry, I've got it all teed up here.

44:37 SMTV. Yeah. If you're talking about morning fodder and a reason to stay in bed, even though she wasn't with me, she was a reason to stay. I had a friend who was a just who was doing some waiting work for like a corporation, corporate event type thing. And she happened to be there once and she asked for something for him, like for a drink, and he went off and got it. And she said, What's your name? Oh, yeah, thanks for that. And said his name. To this day, he still quotes that as one of the greatest moments of his life. The moment Cat Dealey used his name. Oh, he existed. For that moment, yeah.

45:20 SM TV, I loved it. Absolutely bloody brilliant. Too funny. Too funny. Although you did have to flick onto BBC to catch Trevor and Simon because they were. Yeah, they could swing their pants with the best of them. I still, my kids, my kids still mention duvets, and they've got no idea why they don't do duvets, but they know they don't do duvets. Ken and Eddie Kennedy, the barbers. Oh, those were the days. Those were the days. So I do have another, I love a couple of topics on here, right? Went to the doctors today. Went to the doctors because I mentioned the start of a joke. No, it's not a joke. No, no, no.

46:04 What is funny, right, is my Billy Rubens are high. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about right now. The doctor rings me up. Sodslaw, because you have to wait. The doctors now, you have to, they call you. So obviously they don't want loads of people going in and out of doctors for no reasons. So you ring up, you have to wait, chit-chat, and half answer phone, press one, press two, wait, another 10 minutes. Oh, hello. Yeah, great. Oh, yes. You, I'm happy to tell you you have qualified for a callback from the doctor. Oh, brilliant. He'll be calling you on Friday. On Friday? Like anytime? Yeah, Friday. She says, so make sure you don't use the phone.

46:53 Don't put the internet on. Make sure the phone line is free. Don't leave it engaged. So, right. Only have urgent calls. She said, if you want to speak to him, so Sodslaw, I'm on a Zoom call with someone this morning, with a dad. And I was like, okay, it's going to be the doctors. And thankfully, he said, oh, I'll give you a call back. So I said, okay, great. Give me a call back. So, of course, I've got two dad coaching appointments today. So the doctor calls during the first one and then he calls during the second one. So I had to take it. So he goes. So he's got an accent. He's like, I've got a sort of Indian-y accent, right? Plus, the line's really bad. And he's telling me, Your Billy Rubens are high.

47:34 I'm like, my what a high? You're Billy Rubens. So I'm thinking to myself, I'm thinking to myself, he's saying Billy Rubens. I can't even work out what that might be. Billy Rubens. Surely there's no medical thing called your Billy Rubens. I don't even make sense in Cockney Rhyming slang. No, exactly. I'm thinking. So okay, I'm exactly on that. And I'm kind of laughing because in my mind, I'm thinking, this is like, this is a prank or your Billy Rubens. I'm like, how's your Rubens, mate?

48:14 No, so I had to write it down. I got him to spell it out. And then when I got off the phone, I got on the Tinter. So yeah, Billy Rubens, he goes, he goes, he goes, do you think you are yellow? Honestly, it was like a sketch show talking to sketch shows. It was like a sketch show. Do you look, do you, are you yellow? I was like, no, no. Have you got yellow eyes? No, I've got yellow eyes. And so, yeah, so it turns out your Billy Rubens, your liver keeps your Bili Rubin levels down. And if you, if you're, because it goes into your liver and your liver breaks down these fatty cells and is the liver's not doing its job right, then your bilirubin level goes too high, which causes jaunty.

48:57 It's genuinely that. It's not like you've misheard it or anything. It's generally genuinely called Billy Rubens. You're B-I-L-I-R-U-B-E-N-S. You're Billy Rubens. Oh, mate. Every day is a school day. And I'm laughing. laughing. I'm like, I'm like flipping Beavers and Butthead as this guy is telling me. I'm sorry, can you say that? In his Indian accent, he's going Billy Rubens. But he's saying it as if you're meant to bloody know what that means. He's not saying you've broken your arm or you've got an appendix problem.

49:39 He's saying Billy Rubens. Excuse my language. I've probably got a bar. I'm sort of said, I'm sorry, I'm laughing. I said, it just sounds funny. Doesn't it sound funny? And he's not sure. No, sir. This is a very, very serious matter. Well, yeah, that's it. I was like, is it is it bad? He's like, no. If you're not yellow, you're all right. Mad, mad. Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm now curious as to what my Billy Rubens level are. I want Apple to make a Billy Rubens monitor on my iWatch. Oh, yeah. And you're Apple Health. Yeah. I've never had a, I've never had really bad news from doctors, thanks, thankfully.

50:22 Never give it time. Yeah. I've seen your mail. Just wait a week. I juice a lot. I feel like the fact that I juice a lot. If I get bowel cancer or something, I'm going to be livid. All the things I shouldn't get, it'll be anything to do with my gut or bowel. Basically, it'll be horrific. I want my money back. Oh, I'm old. I've got a flipping half a million quids worth of juice, juice, fruit, fruit, and veg to come back. That couple this week, they had the numbers for the 182 million Euro win last weekend.

51:04 Young couple. And they play on their, on the app, yeah. So she's put a tenor in and they've played four times. And then it came up. They won last week. So they're like, woohoo! 182 million. They would have had to share it with someone in Bulgaria or somewhere where no one except the mafia has 182 million euros. So there is a picture of the Daily Mail looking like absolutely heartbroken because they rang up Camelot or whoever the lottery people are and said, these are our numbers. And they said, yes, they are your numbers, but you had not topped up your credit in the app.

51:44 So yes, that was your normal numbers. And you did play them the four draws before, but because you had not put a credit in, you did not actually have a ticket in the drawer. See, this is why I don't do the lottery for this exact reason. I know. And the thing is, there's so many different little lottery things or this draw or that draw. I knew if I did it in one, then my numbers would come out in the other one. So you end up having to do all of them. And you end up spending 10, 20, 30 quid a week doing a fucking lottery. And you're probably never winning. Or when you do win, that sort of shit happens. So yeah, heartbreaking for them. And they're quite young. So now they've either got to go really zen on it and be like, oh, we weren't meant to have the money.

52:29 Or they're going to just be forever, evermore. They'll be at a school flipping. They'll be split up within a month. Yeah, totally. But the sport, the school fair, and they'll come around and say, oh, do you want a raffle ticket? You'd be like, no, I don't want a raffle ticket. If I buy a raffle ticket, I'll win the lemon curd and someone else will win the flipping holiday to tenure. No, I don't. Don't you know who I am? Oh, man. Well, Glenn, we could chat for hours, but I've got stuff to do tomorrow. You got stuff to do tomorrow. You've got a weekend.

53:09 Literally, literally nothing. I'm not getting out of bed if I don't have to. I'm watching the cricket at least tomorrow. We'll still be playing tomorrow and hopefully still on Sunday. Even if we lose, just give me something to do. I might go for a walk on Sunday. You know, let's go crazy, you know. But other than that, I've got nothing to do. No one to see. Life is dull as ditch water. But I'm alive, so it could be worse. Coming to America too. It's on your agenda. Well, people, thanks so much for joining us on the wrap-up. Wrap-up number 30. What you have talked about, unsafe playgrounds, hot in the 90s TV presenters.

53:54 You heard about my Billy Rubens and sketch shows. Little chit chat about Eddie Murphy. If you want to see how comedy doesn't always age that well, go and watch Raw. Still funny. Probably non-PC. non-PC though but and a big call out maybe we'll get Eddie Murphy on the show hey if you can I'll be more than happy with that yeah I think he's heard about us he's uh he just needs a little nudge in the right direction and he'll be on absolutely brilliant Glenn all the best to you sir we will see you next time we're on the wrap-up together Let's bring in that little lovely video jingle.

54:33 Everybody else, if you listened this far, thanks so much for being part of the wrap-up. I didn't even check the comments tonight, but you are welcome to comment as you're watching. If you're on the podcast, then please share this, give us a review, spread the love. And I look forward to doing another wrap-up. Well, another 30 wrap-ups and getting us to the big 60. We'll see you next time. Thanks, everyone. Team Super Dad out. Bye. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at teamsuperdad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.