The Wrap Up #20 - Anarchy Over Proffesionalism

00:00 Welcome to Team Super Dad. It's that time. You know, it's the wrap-up. Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hey, it's Friday. It's the wrap up. Johnny here from Team Super Dad, creator, founder of the Team Super Dad community and program, the Hero Academy program. It's Friday, the 4th of December. Should you timestamp your podcasts? I don't know.

00:42 Some say you should, some say you shouldn't. Let's get that number right. We are on the wrap-up 20. 20. How can that possibly be? Well, I know how it can possibly be because it is December, December the 4th, literally the end of the year. If you've not joined us on the wrap-up before, then welcome. This is literally the end of the week, the highs and lows of our week. It's good to celebrate. Good to celebrate all that's going good. And don't worry about things that are going bad. I've had a number of conversations this week about not sweating the small stuff. And we will come on to that in the running order of the Team Super Dad wrap-up.

01:19 Where are we? Where are we? Christmas is literally three weeks away. If you're on the power list, that's the Team Super Dad email list, then you'd have got your email this Monday, which had tips on it, thoughts and tips about getting set for Christmas. Some dads don't have any involvement in, some dads don't have any involvement in the Christmas planning. They leave it all to the mums. I'm not sure that's a good idea. If what that ends up with is stressed out dads on Christmas Eve looking for presents, which is just not a thing anymore. Because if you've ever been shopping late at Christmas, you'll know there's literally nothing left, particularly this year.

01:59 So get a list, get it all online. Don't leave it all to the misses if you still got a missus. And if you haven't, then even more of a reason to just be pulling and cajoling ideas and thoughts from your kids. Going back a few years, I actually started writing lists way before. I make little notes on my phone, kind of going back as far as probably the summer even, especially with a daughter. You want to just find out the little things that she says because she'll tell me so many things. And then by the time Christmas comes around, I remember them all and it looks like I'm just flipping awesome. And probably a good thing to do with your partner as well. Be the person, be that one that that guy that is paying attention,

02:45 is listening to the things that they want. So there's some tips on how to be happy at Christmas. I've also got a Christmas shopping list, like a Christmas Day food and shopping list, which I started keeping a couple of years ago. My aunt, you know, and I'm sure lots of other people have got one of these. It's like the book that's got all the things in that they bought the year before. And you will definitely save yourself a lot of stress if each year you come able to come back to all the things that you remembered to buy from the previous year. So be the man that can. Look like you've got it all under control. As for other stuff, if you're listening in, are you subscribed to the Team Super Dad podcast?

03:27 Are you subscribed to the YouTube channel, to the notifications on Facebook? Basically, wherever you're listening or watching this right now, make sure you have clicked the bell, ask for notifications or subscribed, because that way, not only will you be the first to get all the latest content and episodes, but you'll be really helping me as well. Because the more people that are subscribed and hang on, I'm dying. The more people that we've got on board, the better, right? So, as you know, I make a little running order for these for these things. John Belushi, do you know of John Belushi? I'm a bit of a fanboy of

04:12 70s and 80s comedy comedian stand-up. I do like modern comedians, right? I can't say I know too many of them. You know, Peter Kay, Chris Rock. Why does my memory always do this? The guy with the fluffy hair, I've shared his style. It's all gone. It's all gone. But basically, yeah, I do like modern comedians. But going back as far as the 70s and 80s, John Belushi, Bob, what is going on? Richard Pryor, Bob Newhart, Derek and Clyde, you know, Derek and Clyde, if you listen to Monty Python, right?

04:54 If you listen to some of those old, old records, if you, they're all on YouTube now. I remember being at college. everyone's like trying to get the the recordings like have a tape let alone the original vinyl of derek and clyde which is uh dudley moore and just hilariously funny well close to the bone and if you watch like eddie murphy um raw you know some of these old some of the old comedians there's the stuff just hasn't stood the the pc the political correctness uh stand they haven't stood the test of time basically but if you can see or hear through that and just appreciate it for the comedic value i don't you know you can go and find properly racist comedians right and and and and and that

05:39 isn't actually that that funny right but if you uh you know if you're talking about eddie murphy and and how they refer to gay people and and and and uh richard pryer and and how he talks about black people it is as much a commentary on the time and a reference to how far we've come as it is also bloody funny as it is also bloody funny right funny's funny you know and people do get offended right but but um i think there's a context to to comedy that if you can see it for either the moment in time that it was or just or just just appreciate it for the comedy value rather than be be offended too much then the then it's funny so john

06:20 belushi he was in the blues brothers you know the shorter fatter one in in the blues brothers he was also the the in animal house which is a flipping cult film of of its time and john belushi died pretty much of a of a drugs overdose but just was destroying his body but if you watch the documentary it's on um i watched it on on on my virgin subscription which i think was on sky that's where i saw it was on sky so if you watch on catch up if you're in the uk right now you can watch it on catch up on sky or virgin um and it's just an amazing documentary about about the guy about how where he came

07:00 from who's clearly a like a genius but like all geniuses they're generally flawed and it's just such a fascinating portrayal of his life and where his comedy stemmed from and then i watched because i watch a lot of seinfeld and and comedians in cars uh getting coffee which is a completely bang up-to-date modern comedy and the contrast couldn't be more different between two people at the top of their game john belushi and jerry seinfeld and just the difference in how they manage their life and how like i don't know is jerry seinfeld real i think he's pretty real but could he be as a real or as as as as um anarchistic as uh as john belushi probably not in our time and john belushi's kind of famous quote

07:46 is i'd rather be an anarchist than a professional and i don't know if there's any space in the modern world for that i just don't know can you can you be can you be an anarchist and reach the top at the same time i'm not sure you can johnny rotten there you go the sex pistols and all that jazz um but that's just my my my reflection on some of the things that i've watched this week we've commented on december but i can't believe it is actually december on my running notes if you've read this read the intro we're looking at uh at following through and i don't mean uh shitting yourself uh i mean following through on things that you're working on the the the hero academy and the dad call and everything to do with team super dad i've been i've made some videos and a coach approach document this week to send to coaches to bring them into the hero academy to support in the in the f5 which is focused fitness finance family and fun so they're there the

08:41 five areas of of team super dad and hero academy course and some of those i want to bring other experts in to add more value right uh areas where i'm just not that much of an expert you know i'm not i'm not a share trader or property investor i'd like to make more money in those areas or or know how to do it so good so it could be a choice but i've got to send stuff out to those coaches and get them on board nutritionist i've got a guy called uh pete who's lined up as the fitness coach and stuff so it's about bringing those people on board i sent the first email to someone to a wealth dude back in july and it's now december so

09:21 it is you know it kind of falls into a little bit about imposter syndrome which is am i good enough oh god will i do this will i not do this which you can if you search around imposter syndrome we've got a comment come in here look at this who's this adam hello adam good to have you on see if you are like adam you can comment not only can you get your lovely face up on the on the live stream right now but but you can add to my life by by making me feel loved right i can see all the other people watching but only adam has commented so if you are watching then come in say hello let me me know where you're at and what you're what you're up to let me know how your week's been the wrap-up is highs and lows a review of your week as well so we're about to hit 10 minutes so if you're watching on linkedin goodbye come on over to facebook join the

10:08 group youtube periscope on twitter wherever you like but uh thanks for watching us on linkedin so yeah imposter syndrome Some people say that imposter syndrome is a load of bollocks. If you're in it though, and you're struggling to start something because you're worried about whether you're any good at it, then you are living imposter syndrome. But it's not really a thing. You can't go out and get you can't catch imposter syndrome any more than you can, you know, than you can flip and buy it from someone or learn it from someone. It's just a fear of doing something that you want to do. And it's a fear of not being good enough. Like you're going to get judged or it's going to fall flat on its face. So that ultimately just comes down to confidence.

10:52 Confidence, where do you find confidence? You find confidence from getting organized. It's very difficult to be confident about doing something if you haven't planned it out. Like just freestyling, freestyling this wouldn't necessarily work. My boy launched his podcast last week, Boys Live, and I kept telling him, make some show notes, make some show notes. He's so like me. He's like, okay, okay. Did he do it? No, he didn't. And then he did his whole episode. And I said, well, did you talk about this? And did you talk about your football? Did you talk about playing for Palace? Or did you talk about going to Disneyland for the first time?

11:28 He's like, oh, no, no, I forgot. I forgot about that. I said, should have been in your show notes. So if you're up to something, if you've got plans for 2021, if there's something that you want to get started, but you're struggling with your own confidence or with a thought of is it going to work or where do I start? The answer is make a start. As we said last week, you don't have to be great to start, but you do have to start to end up great. So Udemy, if you've not heard of Udemy, Udemy is a training portal, like a website, well, not like a website, it is a website. But if you go onto Udemy, there are training courses in basically anything and everything. And some of them are pretty basic. Like if you've not, let's say you wanted to be a nutritionist, right?

12:12 You didn't know anything about nutrition. There are the real basics of nutrition. But there are also courses on there right through to like full qualification and getting accredited. So this isn't an ad for Udemy. Some of my links, some of my links on my blog posts, on things that you might get in an email, they do have affiliate links in behind them. But there are always two services that I use. And I do use Udemy. Adam, what have you been saying, Adam? Let's have a look at this. Adam says, I've been flying by a lot of the, been flying by the seats of his pants this week. Need to plan more. Well, you do need to plan. Don't get caught up in planning, like procrastination.

12:57 100% live is live. 99% perfect or 80% perfect, but not live is not live, right? So they talk about ready, aim, fire being the complete wrong thing to do. You want to fire, see how far you've missed by, and then aim and then fire again. So don't wait to be ready necessarily. So seek the pants stuff, Adam. Good work. But planning as well. I know with my content and my work around Team Super Dad and the Hero Academy, if I don't plan who are those coaches I'm going to call, what am I going to send them? What am I going to say to them when I'm on the phone to them? Then it's not going to go well. So there's some degree of planning definitely makes sense.

13:37 And a dad called, we've talked about that following through July to December. Oh yeah, I was talking about following through. So I emailed this, the first coach in July and he wanted lots of money and it didn't really pan out the way I'd hoped for it to be planned out. But rather than go and speak to any of the other hundred wealth coaches, 100,000, flipping, however many wealth coaches there are on LinkedIn or elsewhere, rather than go and speaking to them, I allowed myself to get stopped by the no. And that is just absolutely ridiculous. If you've got a plan, if you're working on something, then you can't be stopped by the first no that you get.

14:16 I've heard it said before about toddlers learning to walk. You know, what per even more funny is potty training your kid, right? At what point would you say to your kid, oh, sod it, don't worry about walking. Oh, don't worry about using the toilet. Just keep on crapping in your pants, right? Like there is no point at which we tell our kid, don't keep going. Don't, don't, you know, you're going to learn to walk. Or the kid's pretty much going to teach themselves to walk anyway. Potty training may be a bit different, especially for the, especially for the boys. boys. But, you know, there's never a point as a parent where we tell our kid, just don't worry about it, just don't worry about it, particularly when they're a baby.

14:59 So, then, why as an adult do we get stopped by something so easily when we get our first no or when we get hung up on is it going to work out? You know, there's there's a mindset that we can try to reach back into our past and bring into the present of just being a kid, of being that determined toddler who is going to learn to walk, who is going to learn to run, ride a bike, learn to write, draw a picture. Like, we need to be more baby, right? In those in those kind of respects as we want to achieve and succeed with our businesses, with our plans, with our family, with dating, wherever it is that we're at.

15:37 Um, just keep going, don't be stopped by what you think is going to happen or what you think is going to go wrong because it's just we don't know, do we? We literally don't know. It's just as likely that it's going to work out as it's not going to work out before we start. And if it's something that you're really committed to, something that you're determined to make happen, I've said it before on the podcast and on the wrap-up. If I'd done the nutrition and fitness course in 2007, then I would have 13 years experience of being that, of being that coach. Who knows where it could have taken me? Look at Joe Wicks and all the stuff that he's created around that.

16:15 I saw his cookbook in Tesco's the other day. I'm looking at it and thinking, there is no way on earth that this guy has come up with this many recipes. There's like 200 things to cook in there. You know, he just has a team that does that for him now, and his face goes on the front. And I'm sure from an integrity point of view, he's involved a lot. But that's what happens when you start something. You really can push through and have it become what you want it to be. So I guess that's that's my message for for this wrap-up. It's been a lot about following through, a lot about imposter syndrome and making sure that it happens, um, using Udemy to go and get some training. And of course, get yourself into a community, use a mastermind, put yourself around other people who are

17:01 committed to creating similar goals in their life. Um, be around other people, other dads, other men who are perhaps have the skills that you're looking to create for yourself. Um, what's his name? Sorry, too many ums today. Napoleon Hill talked a lot about masterminds, and he also talked about the learning from people who've got skills that you don't have yet. Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich, is an absolutely amazing book. He wrote it about 100 years ago, right? So, if you think all this personal development nonsense is new, then it really isn't, and it's certainly not nonsense either. So, definitely go and check that book out, Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich. So,

17:47 that's the kind of serious stuff. The dating, well, I'm not talking about specifics, but it's interesting to I've got matched on one of the on one of the apps, which I've reinstalled back on the phone. I take them off, I put them on, I take them off. It does do my head in it, it's not a very positive experience using the dating app. So, I don't know, I'd love to hear from other people what their experience is. I know, um, I know that you can be on them and get a lot of action, right? I don't know where that happens, it doesn't happen in Maidstone, I'm pretty certain, uh, or it doesn't happen to me.

18:27 But maybe I'm looking for something different anyway, but uh, uh, definitely some dating. We're going to get a dating expert on and have some chat about that. Uh, Issa has just posted, Freetown has just posted, if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Apparently, Henry Ford said that, Henry Ford first said that, um, and I love that saying. Um, I say it's so important as a kid. Um, you know, if you think you can't walk, well, you're never going to get off your backside and try it, so you'll be right. And if you think you can, you're just going to keep going for it and end up being that kid, just like the rest of them that can walk. So, one of the people I've been on a few dates with, I have no idea what's going on.

19:07 It feels like we are zooming into the friend zone. Um, and uh, so we're going to have to have that conversation. Like, if I keep putting whatever emojis at the end of our messages, the fact that you're not, does that mean that we're not? Or the fact that I call and they don't get an answer, but then they do call and then they and then they do seem excited to speak to you. So, I have no idea. This whole dating thing, what I can say is I'm still taking on not being the stupid 15-year-old, right? Being straight, being bold, being direct, showing myself to be uh.

19:44 uh the kind of i guess kind of confident and strong man that i think most women are attracted to or certainly the kind of woman that i want to be be with in my goals in my journal i've not got my journal here but i'd wave it in front of the camera if i did i've been i've just hit in my journal day 40 i think 40 something day 40 something and i started in july so it's pretty good and i've been cranking it back back up again if you don't journal then get on the case i there's a i did a an episode of the podcast all about journaling so if you go back and look in the in the episodes you'll see it i think it's about

20:23 episode 25 something like that um we had a bunch of experts on about journaling it's such a powerful way to focus in on what you want in life to get some of the yuck of what's going on out and onto paper personally writing it i think is better because you get in your flow but uh if if you don't journal then what are you doing as a way of focusing on your goals um clearing out some of the clutter of your mind meditation goes hand in hand with that i like to meditate and then write my journal dr jodispenza breaking the habit of being yourself is an amazing book for for all of this so i'll definitely go and check that out if i was you and as for dating and the friend zone well it's it's come up as a conversation in the dad call before the dad call is the team super dad men's group it happens every other monday it's

21:18 a free drop-in meetup on zoom it's totally private it's not streamed it's not recorded some weeks it's a lot of fun and very silly other weeks it's uh quite serious and that's okay that's exactly what it's supposed to be it's it's a men's group it's it's it's somewhere where if people have got something they want to ask then they know that they're going to be heard that they know that they're they're probably going to get some good advice back or a variety of advice as well it's not me coaching everybody on there it's you know sometimes we have to steer the conversation a little bit and just manage it but generally speaking

21:59 someone brings their stuff and then everybody else comments and adds value to it and it really is amazing and something something really powerful happened last week one of the dads was talking about stuff and he was he was wrestling really with kind of what the subject was and we went through it and and a three or four of us commented and then his girls came along and were and were looking to say goodnight and one of the dads said you know what you should go and you should go and and focus on your girls and and and put them to bed and it was just the perfect thing at the perfect time and and it was so powerful it didn't come from me it came from one of the other

22:38 men and that's the power of the dad call is that with everybody's there for everybody so that's free it's part of what we do at team superdad if you go to teamsuperdad.com dad call then you'll see you can put your name down and um we can't have it as a as a too big a thing but there's plenty of spaces there so make sure you go over and grab one of the spaces and get involved get in get on board and get involved like i said it's completely free and uh and and you're welcome what's david jonathan saying the dating so jonathan just commented the dating world is a minefield and it's great to hear that you're being about open about it too i am being open about it do you know what i i've taken i've read stuff i've taken advice i've i've i've adjusted my different my profile and different apps i don't think ultimately that it is in my future it's in my destiny so to speak to meet someone on a dating app it's just so not

23:35 like me um and the woman who i matched with last week and we've been chatting and stuff but it it's just so broken and staccato and um i think that when i get introduced to someone and it just clicks that feels so right um and so the answer there is to get out more uh and i'm really going to take on asking friends to introduce me i don't necessarily mean like blind dates but but i guess perhaps it is but it's far more likely that a female friend of mine is going to introduce me to a friend of theirs and because we're in that sphere of influence and like-mindedness then we're going to get on well so

24:16 jonathan i will carry on being open about my dating it's like the finance stuff team super dad is a journey for all of us uh i am proficient in some of those areas i've experienced a lot of things that have me be of value and of service whether it's been negotiating my divorce managing trying to keep the marriage online online having a stepkid having my own children having a experience in suicide in our family getting out of debt managing to do that without going bankrupt um

24:52 these are all parts of my journey getting fit staying fit learning about nutrition um these are all parts of of my journey but in terms of the f5 focus fitness finance family and fun there's areas of that where i'm just not i'm not there yet i'm on that journey and so my vision for team superdad was what if all the people i'd known in my life what if all the coaches experts friends associates what if they'd all been given to me to contribute and to help me become the best person the best version of myself that i could possibly be well that is life right so we put them all together inside of team superdad we bring other men in to create a community we put some

25:32 training modules and people at the front of the room or leading the zoom call and there we have it there we have a platform for us all to thrive in life and be the best version of ourselves possible real dads creating our best lives ever that seems like a perfect way to end today if you've enjoyed it leave a review comment if you're watching on the replay give us a hashtag replay let us know where you're at and what you want and i'll see you on the next wrap up team super dad out bye this has been team super dad find us at team superdad.com