The Team Super Dad Wrap Up #12

00:00 Welcome friends, family, Team Super Dad members around the world. It's the wrap up! Welcome to Team Super Dad Real dads creating their best lives ever More time More money More fun You are not alone You're on Team Super Dad Yes, the wrap up. What is the wrap up? So on Fridays normally I do a wrap-up which is me jabbering on about how the week's gone but there's almost zero internet juice value in doing it but there is value for you for just chit chat basically especially members of The Team Super Dad community as dads are weeks

00:49 Flipping roll, and mums as well. All of us basically it doesn't time fly we before we know it back round to Friday and the easiest thing to do is panic about all the things that didn't happen And actually the wrap-up is about celebrating what has gone well As long as we can find something to celebrate What's Gone Well Last week was as usual as usual crazily busy if you're watching as always If you are watching say hello If you're on Facebook, then click on the StreamYard.com link and you can give Facebook permission to say hello to you...to bring your name up so I can actually say hello to you! But wherever you are, say hello let me know what's going on for this Monday lunchtime. Have a quick Say Hello. Ta-da just like this.

01:42 The Jago is 11, Rosie is nine. So that's basically she's gonna be nine this Saturday he was he was eleven on Friday and presents going out for dinner so we rotate between us Christmas breakfast with one, dinner with the other. So the kids know that and it all goes pretty well we do the same with birthday parties if you are watching welcome of course just feel free to comment like as well as commenting share this start a watch party spread the love if your watching the replay give us a hashtag replay so I can see how many people are watching the replays and if you got something mean to say you can say that if you've got something nice to say rather than saying it

02:42 The wrap up. Two weeks ago I was out at my kids tutoring so i did it on my phone which sounded a bit crap, sorry about that! Today we're in the normal setting and I am working on getting some backgrounds. I've been playing with some green screen stuff and getting Team Super Dad and Hero Academy backgrounds which will be kind of fun. It'll also be more interesting for you... We've got a new poster up there. Actually I have had it years How do you just put it was just stuff down the back of the bunk beds in the kids bedroom and I put up basically clearly not the highlight of last week but

03:25 Jago's birthday definitely was the highlight and such a challenging thing. We went to Tottenham, to White Hart Lane to get his kit so like it's not you can get a kit from anywhere right? You could even get it mail order and sent from the club but to go and actually do the thing in the shop, in the store at White Hart Lane, get it printed So all perfect, but we then got invited to a football trial which Sod's Law also on the Friday night. So I worked it out. We had an hour and a half to drive there maybe two hours with traffic on the way back which gave us an hour to park get in there have fun choose get things screen printed whatever they do the transfers and get by grade so...so i picked them up from school at 12 30 and we jump in the car we were driving up to London

04:17 It had all been carefully calculated. We, it's a successful mission got the shirt everyone is happy we're jumping around then we get back in the car and it became quite apparent that there was a lot more cars about than normal and yeah Sods Law, The Motorway, The M25, The Ring Road around London there'd been some horrific crash in the morning people dead and everything like that so that whole side was shut So now we're I'm thinking like this is crazy why are there so many cars here it's okay though because we've got three hours, three hours to get back for his trial for district schools under 11s right. So we sat in the car everything's fine

04:58 Kids are hungry, do the stop get the food. It's all still going fine then he says I'm gonna get changed! I'm gonna put my new kit on because we were stationary in the traffic so i'm gonna put a new kit on So I'm sat at the front holding the steering wheel next thing I know he's screaming in the back What is going on? What is going on and he's yanked the socks flipping so many ties and labels and what not, holding these whole things together. And he's pulled the socks apart so rather than kind of break the tie he's pulled the socks apart and it's ripped a hole in the top of the socks. £25 obviously they're Spurs brand Nike socks about six quid without the branding and about twenty five quid with the Spurs logo on this stuff

05:50 He's screaming in the back because he's ripped a hole, ripped a hole in the top. Rose is in the front trying to just like it's okay we can sew it, we can do this, so she's trying to be herself like rationally looking for solutions to the problem and he's being his self of why does it always happen to me? This is horrific! And I'm sat there thinking I know what he's going through because i'm him, he's me. So i'm living his upset because i've done that before so many times ripping the label off on t-shirts and putting a hole in the back of the t-shirt how many times have i done that? And uh and so i'm going Rose you just just leave him be just leave him be! And every time she tried to help he got more and more upset so it was flipping insane

06:39 And that was just the start of it because the traffic then drove complete gridlock. I tried to make a shortcut or sneaks through Lakeside and that was even worse, so literally we were at a standstill for about an hour and he's got this trial! So i had to work wonders on getting him on nomination from school to get the trial...and I just kept saying if we can focus on it being okay Anyway, eventually the traffic cleared but we were already late by that point. I drove like a lunatic 100 miles an hour praying i haven't got a ticket and uh we bowled up! And this is why you need to count on your blessings okay? Always believe always believe something good is about to happen because

07:28 Honestly, more often than not things go well for us. Things work out I don't know why that is? I don't know what that's about but more often than not things work out right and if you believe things are going to work out then you stand a greater chance of them working out. I talked about this the other day on a video like consciously living with a positive outlook So if you constantly think that things are going to go wrong, well guess what? They generally are going to start to go wrong. And you put that down to sod's law or bad luck or it's not fair but if you say... If you consciously live like something good is about to happen like what's the best possible outcome we're gonna have here okay We're gonna be late but it could still work out People think that's ridiculous Oh yeah as if you can make the future happen Well

08:12 We accept we can make bad things happen. Anyway, so we rock up at the trial he goes in I'd emailed the coach because they didn't have my phone number i'd emailed them He got there, he got given his bib and two minutes later The team that he was on went into play for the first time So it actually made it It's all turned out right He's got a second trial tomorrow so he has been shortlisted down to the final kind of the final 30 before they make the cut for the team. So it was just an awesome, awesome and crazily stressful afternoon! And that was their birthday, that's his birthday so birthday tea was out of the window dinner, birthday dinner was out the window because we were at The Trial till two eight o'clock. So pizza and movies at home happy days bedtime breakfast in the morning all you can eat at the Toby Carvery and here is a thing about my kids now

09:03 10, no not 10. 11 and 9 now early stages of puberty they half the time I think they're still a cute five and three year old like oh yeah so cute you're running around the restaurant or your wrestling on the floor guys! You are massive now he just can't wrestle on the floor in the restaurant but it's such Finding opportunities to go out and eat with your kids, finding opportunities to create routine is so powerful. It's so important and that breakfast thing we don't do it all the time but when we do it's a thing you know? We...it's created as a Team Jensen breakfast. We hang out, we talk, we laugh and joke

09:49 And doing that with your kids, I was reading a post this morning. A guy was talking about he's arguing with his wife about having a second child and his argument for not having a second child was he wanted to give child number one the best possible life and as far as i'm concerned the best possible thing you can give your kids And I'm sorry for couples that struggle to get pregnant or whatever and that's life. But the best possible present you can give your kid is a sibling, and I have my brother, my sister... There are so many cousins who feel like brothers and sisters! It becomes a responsibility inside your family to help them get along

10:38 But you know, you've got someone who can count on for the rest of your life. What greater gift can you give someone than that? So that's my thought on siblings and oh! So many things happened last week... Oh picking my words carefully here right because I don't want to sit here and talk about dates that i've been on and be inappropriate but just on that personal level hanging out with with someone and being excited to go and go, to go to the pub and chat watch the match and walk a dog. And I don't know what dating really looks like. Got lots of friends who've put on the dating apps, Tinder and stuff in there one night they're going this direction another night they're going that direction and ultimately thinking about one guy member Team Super Dad actually

11:35 His focus has been to find a relationship and there's been, I don't know. There's been...I dunno it's just been on dates right? That's as much you need to know. There's been dates, there's been repeat dates and then there's been funny stories of Things have gone right or gone wrong. But now, after seven or eight dates he's met someone and starting a relationship and that's awesome! And then here is my version... October the 5th it will be five years since my separation and ultimate divorce and all that sort of stuff. This time this five years later

12:25 the first opportunities, having the first confidence to hang out with someone. To meet someone and hang out with someone and see how it goes you know? There was a conversation and from my perspective we could see each other five times and stay friends or we could see each other for five months and fall in love During the period, during the five years there's been a lot of piss taking by friends and kind of with love right you know with love but you can imagine if your guy and he's not been out with anyone or had any kind of kiss let alone anything else for five years. You're gonna get some ribbing from your mates right? And Team Super Dad leading a community people in trying to talk about

13:23 all matters that affect us. It's been a bit awkward, it felt a bit awkward to talk about dating and relationships because I'm like well yeah um and you could do this or you could try that and i was speaking to other people and lots of great coaches have got a couple people lined up for the podcast actually to say oh yeah well i've not really been on a date or been anything like that for five years it's been a bit...I guess a subject that I try to avoid more than anything, the subjects that just waiting for a breakthrough or more opportune moment to talk about it. And it made me think as when manifesting things praying for stuff hopes and dreams working on things It's all too easy to think that stuff should happen quick we can get caught up in the urgency of our situation but

14:22 If someone's answering a prayer, if destiny is to be bestowed upon us. If we've got a goal that we're working on it's kind of ridiculous to presume that is just gonna happen over overnight and so whatever situation you are in, if its dating or something else...if your clear about something, if your working on it then thats what your up too try not to get caught up in it needs to happen Now, or it's awkward and odd that it's not happening now. And that's the power of having good people around you as a powerful community. And also that's the power about having the confidence to talk about yourself so I there may or may not come a point in the future where my what was he called? Where

15:12 Come on, status. My Facebook status will change and we'll let you know about that when it happens but one way or another it's just good to be looking at someone across the table and sharing a drink and smiling at them. What does Mel say? Yeah, good. We'll share that Mel. So Mel you can see what she says when I first started my divorce journey 10 years ago and my friend said to me it will take about four or five years to get your head in the right place to move on positively to a new relationship at the time i was surprised but looking back now they were right and i'm glad i stepped back and didn't rush totally totally mel i'm not i would love just tell you i'm a player and i'm a one night stand dude and i've had loads of awesome experiences and adventures with hot

16:06 dates and random women, and all shapes and sizes in different places. But that's just not been me it's never been me... And I'll tell you what as a young person, as a teenager, as a student it felt uncomfortable, it felt like there was something wrong with me genuinely felt like there was something... Like I'm no good at this! I'm doing something wrong Some people just are good at that. Some people it's, they attract it even I think that we get what we look for and I don't feel bad about that to be quite honest. People talk about like what's your numbers score? Like how many people have you slept with right? My number is low isn't it? It's not ridiculously low but its in the teens basically

17:05 I guess when it comes around to those kind of conversations with my kids and... Mel, you're so funny. She adds, that's interesting. You wouldn't have thought that at uni? Well this is what I used to do at uni. I would run around snog a whole bunch of people at student night but never actually seal the deal so we'll have to get a relationship coach on to find out what that's about. So probably a fear of intimacy or fear of something like that In fact, a number of women I've spoken to over the last couple years have said things along those lines like oh we were all nuts about you when you're at school or when he used to come over Chicago. We were all really and and guess I just used to hide high like

17:56 Hide it, ignore it probably. Yeah fear of intimacy, a fear of women... male.... A fear of women over the last five years definitely but that's been different circumstances. A fear of, a fear of.. Probably I can actually tell you because I've done this work on myself. A fear of losing the people I love and so rejection and yeah getting intimate, having sex with people. There's it just has always felt like I probably add way too much significance around it because I attach some kind of relationship outcome to simply having a one night stand. It's deep. It's deep we could go more there. I probably need to be laying down with you on the black couch probably so moving along moving along

18:57 You know what, we're definitely... I've got John Hall. I'm lining him up to come back on the podcast so we'll get him or maybe even um ah what's her name? Forgotten a name but yeah couple of relationship coaches have been speaking too sweating and we know why that is and well that's it really! A couple of other things oh The Hero Academy is Is it is a curious experience so its due to launch this week, I've been rolling up rounding up members of the Team Super Dad community having conversations inviting them into the Hero Academy and even that doing things new going beyond myself creating something new. I guess it's same as the Flipping One Night Stand conversation having too

19:44 Go out of my comfort zone and just say to people like, this is what I'm up with. We're doing one on one coaching the Hero Academy's launching the F5 coming down the line it's really exciting do you want to get involved? You ask me what would you could get out of it and if they say no so yeah well do you know anyone else who could uh...who you think will be interested in send them my way It's such a simple conversation And this is really flagging up to me about the dating relationship and One Night Stand conversation aswell Being able to see the positive outcome from this thing that you're doing right now, whether it is asking someone out or starting a new business. Whether it's launching the Hero Academy there may be things that you gonna do are new and maybe

20:31 So a concern about what are they gonna think, how's it going to go? What if they say no and they're all quite negative things or whatever. They are innately negative but if you can create a different outcome, a possibility of a different outcome they might say yes! They might have a cousin who wants to be involved. They might know 100 people that have been Men's Club, who all want to come and be involved. There are so many... I could save their marriage there they could be on the verge of suicide and this is going to be the call that made a difference They could end up working with me for the next year as a one-on-one client. There are so many positive possible outcomes but just making those calls just picking up the phone making the call saying hello to people it's in truth

21:20 It's I conjure up reasons for it to be to be awkward so. It's all a journey and you get to grow. As I say, keep going to keep growing. You've got to keep going to keep growing and whatever it is that you're up to, keep going! Keep going to keep growing. And you can expect a call from me whether your friends, whether your family, whether your members of Team Super Dad...you can expect a call so be nice come on let's have some fun with this and we can kick off So much stuff that's going on at the moment and take all these stories. It's Rosie's birthday this Saturday, so no doubt I will have another hilarious wrap-up hopefully not quite as stressful with no traffic and rips in new birthday items but lots happening! I hope there is lots happening in your world whether it's good or bad focus on the positives and be the best dad you can possibly be This is Jonnie Team Super Dad out bye

22:21 This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at teamsuperdad.com