The Team Super Dad Wrap Up #12

00:00 Welcome friends, family, Team Super Dad members around the world. It's the wrap-up. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Yes, the wrap-up. What is the wrap-up? So on Fridays, normally I do a wrap-up, which is me jabbering on about how the week's gone. There's almost zero internet juice value in doing it, but there is value for you, for just chit-chat, basically, especially members of the Team Super Dad community as dads, our weeks flipping, roll, and mums as well.

00:52 All of us, basically, doesn't time fly. Before we know it, we're back around to Friday. And the easiest thing to do is panic about all the things that didn't happen. And actually, the wrap-up is about celebrating what has gone well. So long as we can find something to celebrate what's gone well. Last week was, as usual, as usual, crazily busy. If you're watching, as always, if you are watching, say hello. If you're on Facebook, then click on the StreamYard on the streamyard.com link and you can give Facebook permission to say hello to you, to bring your name up so I can actually say hello to you. But wherever you are, say hello. Let me know what's going on for you this Monday lunchtime. Quick say hello.

01:36 Hello, just like this. Say hello. Say hello. The last week, I've got my little notes here. Now, the microphone, new microphone is super, super sensitive. So if I keep tapping the desk, you can hear that. So I'll have to be very careful not to tap the desk. The notes, I've got notes, notes here. Last week, my kids' birthdays. Jago is 11. Rosie is 9. So that's basically, she's going to be 9 this Saturday. He was 11 on Friday. And presents, going out for dinner. So we rotate between us Christmas breakfast with one, dinner with the other.

02:18 So the kids know that and it all goes pretty well. We do the same with the birthday parties. If you are watching, welcome, of course. Just feel free to like as well as comment in. Share this. Start a watch party. Spread the love. If you're watching the replay, give us a hashtag replay so I can see how many people are watching the replays. And if you've got something mean to say, you can say that. If you've got something nice to say, rather than say it as well. The wrap-up. Two weeks ago, I was out at my kids' tutoring. So I did it on my phone, which sounded a bit crap. So sorry about that. Today, we're in the normal setting.

02:53 I am working on getting some backgrounds. I've been playing with some green screen stuff and getting a Team Super Dad and the Hero Academy backgrounds, which will be kind of fun. It'll also be more interesting for you. We've got, I've got a new like poster up there. I've got that new. Actually, I've had it years. I've had it years, but I've only just put it. It was just stuff down the back of the bunk beds in the kids' bedroom. And so I put it up basically. Clearly not the highlight of last week, but Jago's birthday definitely was the highlight and such a challenging thing. We went to Tottenham, to Whiteheart Lane, to get his kit. So it's not you can get a kit from anywhere, right?

03:37 You could even get it mail order and sent from the club. But to get it, to go and actually do the thing in the shop, in the store, at Whiteheart Lane, get it printed. So all perfect. But he then got invited to a football trial, which Sodslaw also on the Friday night. So I worked it out. We had an hour and a half to drive there, maybe two hours with traffic on the way back, which gave us an hour to park, get in there, have fun, choose, get the things screen printed, whatever they do, the transfers, and get back, right? So I picked them up from school at 12.30 and we jump in the car and we were driving up to London. It had all been carefully calculated. It's been a successful mission. Got the shirt.

04:22 Everyone's happy. We're jumping around. Then we get back in the car and it became quite apparent that there was a lot more cars about than normal. And yeah, Sodslaw, the motorway, the M25, the ring road around London. There's been some horrific crash in the morning, people dead and everything like that. So that whole side was shut. So now I'm thinking, this is crazy. Why are there so many cars here? It's okay, though, because we've got three hours, three hours to get back for his trial for district schools under 11s, right? So we're sat in the car. Everything's fine. Kids are hungry. Do the stop, get the food. It's all still going fine. Then he says, I'm going to get changed.

05:05 I'm going to put my new kit on because we were stationary in the traffic. He said, I'm going to put my new kit on. So I'm sat in the front holding the steering wheel. Next thing I know, he's screaming in the back. What is going on? What is going on? And he's yanked the socks, flipping so many ties and labels and whatnot, holding these whole things together. And he's pulled the socks apart. So rather than kind of break the tie, he's pulled the socks apart and it's ripped a hole in the top of the socks. £25. Obviously, their Spurs brand, their Nike socks, about six quid without the branding and about 25 quid with the Spurs logo and the stuff.

05:49 So he's screaming in the back because he's because he's ripped a hole, ripped a hole in the top. Rose is in the front trying to just like, it's okay. We can sew it. We can do this. We can do that. So she's trying to be herself, like rationally looking for solutions to the problem. And he's being his self of, why has it always happened to me? This is horrific. This is, and I'm sat there thinking, I know what he's going through because I'm him. He's me. So I'm living his upset because I've done that before so many times, ripping the label off on t-shirts and putting a hole in the back of the t-shirt. How many times have I done that? And so I'm going, Rose, just leave him be, just leave him be.

06:31 And every time she tried to help, he got more and more upset. So it's flipping insane. And that was just the start of it because the traffic then drove complete gridlock. I tried to make a shortcut or a sneaks through Lakeside and that was even worse. So literally we were at a standstill for about an hour. And he's got this trial. So I'd had to work wonders to get him on the nomination from the school to get the trial. And I just kept saying, if we can just focus on it being okay.

07:09 Anyway, eventually the traffic cleared, but we were already late by that point. I drove like a lunatic, 100 miles an hour, praying I haven't got a ticket. And we've bowled up. And this is why you need to count on your blessings. Okay. Always believe, always believe something good is about to happen because honestly, more often than not, things go well for us. Things work out. I don't know why that is. I don't know. I don't know what that's about. But more often than not, things work out. And I think if you believe things are going to work out, then you stand a greater chance of them working out. I talked about this the other day on a video of like of consciously

07:47 living with a positive outlook. So if you constantly think that things are going to go wrong, well, guess what? They generally are going to start to go wrong. And you put that down to Sod's law or bad luck or it's not fair. But if you say, if you consciously live like something good's about to happen, like what's the best possible outcome we're going to have here? Okay, we're going to be late, but it could still work out. People think that's ridiculous. Oh, yeah, as if you can make the future happen. Well, we accept we can make bad things happen. Anyway, so we rock up at the trial. He goes in. I'd emailed the coach because he didn't have a phone number. I'd emailed them. He got there. He got given his bib and two minutes later, the team that he was on went into play for the first time.

08:28 So we actually made it. It's all turned out right. He's got a second trial tomorrow. So he's been shortlisted down to the final kind of the final 30 before they make the cut for the team. So it was just an awesome, awesome and crazily stressful afternoon. And that was their birthday. That was his birthday. So birthday tea was out the window. Dinner, birthday dinner was out the window because we're at the trial till two, eight o'clock. So pizza and movies at home, happy days, bedtime, breakfast in the morning, all you can eat at the Toby Carvery. And here's the thing about my kids now, they've 10, no, not 10, 11 and 9 now, early stages of puberty.

09:08 Half the time they think they're still a cute five and three year old. Oh, yeah, so cute. You're running around the restaurant or you're wrestling on the floor. Guys, you are massive now. You just can't wrestle on the floor in the restaurant. And, but it's a, you know, finding opportunities to go out and eat with your kids, finding opportunities to create routine is so powerful. It's so, so important. And that breakfast thing, we don't do it all the time, but when we do, it's a thing. You know, it's created as a Team Jensen breakfast. We hang out, we talk, we laugh and joke.

09:49 And doing that with your kids. And I was reading a post this morning. A guy was talking about. he's arguing with his wife about having a second child. And his argument for not having a second child was he wanted to give child number one the best possible life. And as far as I'm concerned, the best possible thing you can give your kids. And I'm sorry for couples that struggle to get pregnant or whatever. And that's life. But the best possible kids, the best possible present you can give your kid is a sibling. And I have my brother, I have my sister,

10:29 my two, so many cousins who feel like brothers and sisters. And there comes a responsibility inside your family to help them get along. But, you know, you've got someone you can count on for the rest of your life. What greater gift can you give someone than that? So that's my thought on siblings. And so many things happened last week. Oh, picking my words carefully here, right? Because I don't want to sit here and talk about dates that I've been on and be inappropriate to, but just on that personal level, hanging out with someone and being excited to

11:11 go to the pub and chat and watch the match and walk a dog. And I don't know what dating really looks like. I've got lots of friends who are on the dating apps, the Tinder and stuff. And one night they're going this direction, another night they're going that direction. And ultimately, thinking about one guy, a member of Team Super Dad, actually, his focus has been to find a relationship. And there's been, I don't know, there's been, I don't know, he's just been on dates, right? There's as much as you need to know. There's been dates, there's been repeat dates, and then there's been, and then there's been

11:56 funny stories of things that have gone right or gone wrong. But now, after seven or eight dates, he's met someone and starting a relationship. And that's awesome. And then here's my version. On October the 5th, it will be five years since my separation and ultimate divorce and all that sort of stuff. And this time, this five years later are the first opportunities, having the first confidence to hang out with someone, to meet someone and hang out with someone and see how it goes. There was a conversation and

12:43 from my perspective, we could see each other five times and stay friends, or we could see each other for five months and fall in love. And, you know, there's been a during the period, during the five years, there's been a lot of piss taking by friends and kind of with love, right? You know, with love. But you can imagine if you're a guy and you've not been out with anyone or had any kind of kiss, let alone anything else for five years, you're going to get some ribbing from your mates, right? And, you know, Team Super Dad leading a community of people and trying to talk about all matters that affect us.

13:26 It's been a bit, it's felt a bit awkward to talk about dating and relationships because I'm like, well, yeah, and you could do this, you could try that. And I'm speaking to other people and lots of great coaches. I've got a couple of people lined up for the podcast, actually. But to say, oh, yeah, well, I've not really been on a date or been anything like that for five years. It's been a bit, I guess, a subject that I've tried to avoid more than anything, a subject that just waiting for a breakthrough or more opportune moment to talk about it. And it made me think when, you know, manifesting things, praying for stuff, hopes and dreams, working on things, it's all too easy to think that stuff should happen quick.

14:16 We can get caught up in the urgency of our situation. But if someone's answering a prayer, if destiny is to be bestowed upon us, if we've got a goal that we're working on, it's kind of ridiculous to presume that it's just going to happen overnight. And so, you know, whatever situation you're in, if it's dating, if it's something else, if you're clear about something, if you're working on it, then that's what you're up to. Try not to get caught up in it needs to happen now or it's awkward and odd that it's not happening. not happening now. And that's that's the power of having good people around you. That's the power of a community. And also, that's the power about having the confidence to talk about it yourself. So

15:01 there may or may not come a point in the future where, where, where my, well, what's it called? Where my come on status, my Facebook status will change. And we'll let you know about that when it happens. But one way or another, it's just good to be looking at someone across the table and sharing a drink and smiling at them. What does Mel say? Should we just put that there? Yeah, good. We'll share that, Mel. So Mel, you can see what she says. When I first started on my divorce journey 10 years ago, my friend said to me, it'll take about four or five years to get your head in the right place to move on positively to a new relationship.

15:48 At the time, I was surprised, but looking back now, they were right. And I'm glad I stepped back and didn't rush. Totally. Totally, Mel. I'm not, I would love to tell you I'm a player and I'm a one-night stand dude. And I've had loads of awesome experiences and adventures with hot dates and random women and all, I don't know, shapes and sizes in different places. But that's just not been me. It's never, it's never been me. It's, it's, and I'll tell you what, as a young person, as a teenager, as a, as a student, um, it felt uncomfortable. It felt like I'm, there's something wrong with me. Genuinely felt like there was something like, I'm not, I'm no good at this. I'm, I'm doing something wrong. And and I think

16:33 some people just are good at that. Some people, it's, it's, they attract it even. I think that we get what we look for. And I, I, I don't feel bad about that, to be quite honest. People talk about like, what's your, what's your, what's your numbers score? Like, like, how many, how many people have you slept with, right? My number is low. It's not ridiculously low, but it's, it's, I think it's in the teens, basically. And I guess when it comes around to those kind of conversations with my kids, and

17:13 Mel, you're so funny. She adds, that's interesting. You wouldn't have thought that a uni. Well, this is what I used to do at uni. I would run around, snog a whole bunch of people at a student night, but never actually seal the deal. So we'll have to get a relationship coach on to find out what that's about. So probably a fear of intimacy, a fear of something like that. So in fact, a number of women I've spoken to over the last couple of years have said things along those lines like, oh, we were all nuts about you when you're at school. Or, oh, when you used to come over to Chicago, we were all, you know, and I was like, really? And I guess I just used to hide, hide, like, hide it, ignore it, probably.

17:58 Yeah, fear of intimacy. A fear of women. Mel, a fear of women over the last five years, definitely. But that's been different circumstances. A fear of a fear of probably, I can actually tell you because I've done this work on myself, a fear of losing the people I love. And so rejection and yeah, so getting intimate, having sex with people, there's, it just has always felt like I probably add way too much significance around it because I attach some kind of relationship outcome to simply having a one-night stand.

18:45 It's deep. It's deep. We could go more there. I probably need to be laying down with on a black couch, probably. So moving along, moving along. You tell what we're definitely. I've got John Hall. I'm lining him up to come back on the podcast. So we'll get him or maybe even, ah, what's her name? Forgotten her name. But yeah, a couple of relationship coaches I've been speaking to. Sweating. We know why that is. And, well, that's it, really. A couple of other things. Oh, the Hero Academy is a curious experience. So it's due to launch this week. I've been rolling up,

19:28 rounding up members of the Team Super Dad community, having conversations, inviting them into the Hero Academy. And even that, doing things new, going beyond myself, creating something new. I guess it's the same as the flipping one night stand conversation, having to. go out of my comfort zone and just saying to people, like, this is what I'm up with. We're doing one-on-one coaching, the Hero Academy is launching, the F5's coming down the line. It's really exciting. Do you want to get involved? Do you want to ask me what you could get out of it? And if they say no, say, oh, well, do you know anyone else who you think would be interested? Like, send them my way. It's such a simple conversation. And this is really flagging up to me about the dating and relationship and one night stand conversation as well.

20:13 But being able to see the positive outcome from this thing that you're doing right now, okay? Whether it is asking someone out, whether it is starting a new business, whether it is launching the Hero Academy, there may be things that you're going to do that are new. There may be a concern about what are they going to think? How's it going to go? What if they say no? And they're all quite negative things, or they are innately negative. But if you can create a different outcome, a possibility of a different outcome, they might say yes. They might have a cousin who wants to be involved. They might know 100 people at a

20:53 men's club who all want to come and be involved. There's so many. I could save their marriage. They could be on the verge of suicide. And this is going to be the call that made the difference. They could end up working with me for the next year as a one-on-one client. There are so many positive possible outcomes. But just making those calls, just picking up the phone, making the call, saying hello to people, it's in truth. It's it's I conjure up reasons for it to be to be awkward. So it's all a journey and you get to grow. As I say, keep going to keep growing. You've got to keep going to keep growing. And whatever it is that you're up to, keep going.

21:36 Keep going to keep growing. And you can expect a call from me, whether you're friends, whether you're family, whether you're members of Team Super Dad, you can expect a call. So be nice. Come on. Let's have some fun with this. And we can kick off so much stuff that's going on at the moment and take all these stories. It's Rosie's birthday this Saturday. So no doubt I will have another hilarious wrap-up. Hopefully not quite as stressful with no traffic and rips in new birthday items. But lots happening. I hope there is lots happening in your world, whether it's good or bad. Focus on the positives and be the best dad you can possibly be. This is Johnny, Team Super Dad out.

22:17 Bye. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at Team Super Dad.com.