The Role Model Your Children Want Is You

00:00 Men, the role model your children need is you. It's about how you show up, it's about the example you set, and it's about the kind of man and dad you are. Rolfy. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches, relationships and results they deserve. Get your high value man blueprint and join our community at highvalue manproject.com. Let's go. Men, welcome to this special little episode of the Johnny Jensen show. You may have seen online this week or in the last couple of weeks a lot of chit chat floating around, flying around even about

00:45 role models around the Netflix show, adolescents, and of course, as always, people jumping on the bandwagon with these things and pointing it all in the direction of Mr. Tate, which probably just promotes him even more. There are plenty of influencers out there who do have some good things to say, who I do think set a good example for our kids. But you can't get away from the fact that the best role model there is for our children and for the young people in our lives is us. There's no point bleating on about who these people are and what they're telling our kids if you're not the one that's stepping up. And it's not just about, you know, all of a sudden flicking the switch and saying, oh, I'm going to suddenly be good.

01:29 I'm going to suddenly be an example. No, it's about, of course, you know what they say. The first, the best day to start that was the day they were born. The second best day to start that is today. So let me, before I prattle on and basically repeat everything that's in this 10 minute video that I made earlier on this week, let me just flip over and share it with you. What I am going to ask, though, is that if you get any value out of this, if it resonates at all with you, then please be sure to share this. Please be sure, whether it's on my LinkedIn, the YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, you know, come over, share this video, share the podcast, because I believe it's a really essential message.

02:08 It is a high-value man message, of course, but more than that, it's a message about men showing up in the world, being the example that we need to set for the young people in our lives, for the Cretans that are out there and are not looking to step up, who are not willing to set the right example. It is for us. We can't just sit back and feel like we haven't got the time or the energy or the effort that it takes to make a difference. It is about all of us coming together and being the stand that the world needs us to be. I hope you enjoy this. Like I said, get it shared. I'll see you on the next episode. The role model that our boys need is you and me and every other man in the world, every other dad in the world.

02:53 Conversations are flying around about who role models are, what's wrong with boys today, the TV program adolescents, Mr. Tate and all the flipping noise that goes on around that. The thing that every man needs to realize is that our kids are looking to us for direction. The biggest problem right now is not online influencers and what kids are looking at on their phone. No doubt those devices and some of the less than awesome people that are out there are having an impact. But the biggest impact is men not showing up in their kids' lives. The role model that they need is the person that created them.

03:35 The idea that sports players or TV stars should be role models, that's not necessarily what they signed up for. A lot of high-performing sports people didn't come from great backgrounds themselves. If they want to do that when they get older, then fair do's. But why are we here trying to hold them to account at that level when we're not stepping up? Back in the day, it would have been churches or tribe leaders, Bapa Smurf, whoever was the father figure at the top of the pile, they would have been the influencer. That would have passed down through men within the tribe, the community, the village, the congregation.

04:16 The responsibilities, the values, the personality traits, the level of integrity, what was expected, what was allowed, what wasn't. All these things have disappeared. It's bizarre that in a world of woke bullshit, kids are less and less willing to be held to account, less and less willing to be part of a community to contribute. And that isn't all kids. But what the world needs is strong, confident men to show up. So that, you know, basically so that our kids don't need to go looking elsewhere for it. What's happening that we're not being that? Ask yourself, what is your blueprint for life?

04:59 What's the example? you're setting them? How are you doing physically, emotionally, mentally? What are your habits and routines? Are you fit? Are you strong? Do you make quality time for them? Are you managing your money? Are you sharing the load at home? Are you active and engaged in your relationship? Do you exude love? Do you offer quality time? Are you clear with your boundaries? Do you let people down all the time? Like, what is the example you're setting? Why aren't more men showing up in the world like this? How are our kids, I mean, social media and mobile phones aside, but why aren't we being the blueprint?

05:40 The magical thing is, the good thing is, is that there is strong groups of men working hard to be the better version of themselves. Programs and communities, coaches, you know, like myself, like the High Value Man Project, they exist, but it's a tiny number. I often think to myself about like, well, how many people are there? How many men are there out there? Like, where are they? Or what are they up to? There are a shitload of people. So how this message is getting out to everybody is a challenge. And yet in the void between men being held to account, men being given a blueprint to step up, our kids are going looking elsewhere for it.

06:24 Funny story, I actually recorded this and the video was... I couldn't save it on the place I recorded it. So I'm doing this all again. That's commitment. Any father knows that their child wants to walk in their footsteps. The ways that a young kid, if the father is present, if I think about my children, think about my boy in this scenario, the things that I did do still, he will want to copy. You accidentally say shit when your kid's just learning to talk and the first thing they come out of their mouth is the word shit.

07:00 You need to realize that's how simple it is. If you're not present in your kid's life because of other forces, if you've been divorced and you're being, you know, you can't see them as much as you want, don't crumble and fall to pieces about it. Get strong. Write a diary, record an ongoing video, put it all in a box. Because when that kid decides that they want to come and see you and says to you, well, where were you? What were you doing? Say, I was here. I was here building myself up, building my life up. I tried. Here's what I've been making you for the last four or five years. I knew you would come one day and I'm ready for you. And that as an example, for men that have been through divorces, men who haven't been through divorce, like, are you ready?

07:42 Are you ready to be the man that your kid needs? When my mum died, I was nine years old. Clearly, I would love my mum to be around even today. But the women who stepped up, who became role models in my life, some of them ever present, some of them present in fleeting moments or chunks of time in my past. But the closest role models to us are the most important. The people we shape and mold our character from are the people that are in our lives every day. It doesn't need to be a sports star, a pot star, a WWE star. I tried to think as I was running this through my mind this week about the role models in my life.

08:21 I couldn't really think of any that came from that world. Like if anything, being a kid of the 80s and 90s, it was probably Michael Knight and I don't know which member of the AT. The people in my life who are my role models are the people in my life. My dad, for all his maverick ways and shortcomings, is an incredible man. My uncle Rob, my American dad figure, incredible man. The other men in my family in Chicago, I don't really know, my uncle Richard, like these are strong men, confident men, skilled and decent in their own different ways.

09:02 But how they operate in their family, for themselves, in their circle of friends, in the way they build businesses or develop their careers, in the way that they're available and laugh and joke or are generous. Generous with money if they've got it, generous with love and time if they don't. These are the values of a high value man. These are the values of men that our boys are looking for. If you don't provide it, they're going to go and look elsewhere. They're going to go online. Not because they want it, but because they're not getting it from somewhere and it's available elsewhere. These people post videos on a consistent basis so they show up. They set an example that our kids want to follow so they do.

09:42 You don't need to compete with that. If what you're showing your kid is good and honest and consistent and true and you're working on yourself so you're constantly evolving, you're evaluating what you're doing and how you... you're showing up speaking to them in a way that they feel considered and heard and having boundaries but being flexible enough to give them grace to grow learn from themselves how you manage your relationships like it isn't difficult if you whether you meant to have a kid or you accidentally have a kid you had a kid there is no other task there than to be present and available for them and by the way to put other men in your life that they can be mentored and and you know and

10:30 look to as role models doesn't fall solely on your shoulders but the people you put around you do fall on your shoulders the influences in your kids life you do have a steer on you do have a say in and that is what is required in this world that is what is missing men strong confident present healthy mentally physically emotionally available with a clear mission in life vulnerable willing to share their emotions willing to sit and chat to be real like and anything else that i've missed right this to me in my program in my work is the high value man way it's having clarity about who you are and what you want it's having the courage to show up as your show up as your true self and not walk around with toxic emotions of of jealousy of of blame of fault of resentment like having the freedom and courage

11:23 to speak and create to be the man you want to be and having the bollocks to show up consistently the commitment to be organized and diligent to build looking at the long term realizing that you don't do sit-ups for a couple of days and get a six pack you don't build a business by jumping on the phone a couple of times a week and hoping it's going to go okay you don't manage and master a relationship by dropping a valentine's card and a and a half decent christmas present twice a year like that's not how it works and if your life is shit then that's on you do something about it that's what our kids need that is the role models that our world needs let alone our

12:03 family needs i could talk about this for flipping ages and i'm not sure that you're going to listen much longer i will make a podcast about this i will push this subject further and wider but the role models that our children need start with you let's go thanks for tuning in to the johnny jensen show be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with fellow dads creating the life you deserve starts with you get your high value man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvalumanproject.com let's go