The No1 Reason Men Feel Stressed And Burnt Out And How To Fix It

00:00 There is a simple reason that men feel worn out and weak, and you can fix it totally on yourself. When was the last time you sharpened your edge? Not just physically but mentally emotionally spiritually. Roll theme! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go! Hello men welcome to the latest episode of The Jonnie Jensen Show whether you're watching live

00:43 On the various socials, YouTube Facebook LinkedIn or you're tuning in for the podcast. It's great to have you here! My name is Jonnie Jensen I am the founder and head coach at The High Value Man Project and this is The Jonnie Jensen Show Fundamentally we are supporting men dads business owning men around the world To create a life they desire instead of living one that they feel stuck in That is being the man They want to be They deserve to be At home as well as work And, uh, nearly ditched the whole thing there. Got to watch what you click when you're making hand gestures and in this episode we're going to focus on something that

01:25 I got brought into sharp focus this week when i was talking to a new guy, I'm working with one-on-one that is working through the high value man system for living doing it one on one. You know we call it High Value Man Elite and that is 12 week program in the initial stages and many men go on end up working with me one-on-one beyond that. Hundreds of those kind of guys in which is why we also have the inner circle and you can get involved in both of those by either commenting on wherever your watching, listening this or coming over to The Base Camp which is our group where everything kicks off. Which is at the high value man project dot com forward slash group that's high value man project dot com forward slash group This subject

02:18 It's about, it's actually quite, what I'll do is sort of allude to the topic before dropping in because it's really easy for men to switch off when they feel like. I'm going to say something that they already know to feel like oh yeah well I've tried that but its doesn't make any difference And this particular subject, I was talking in a men's group on Facebook about 10 days ago. And this guy was like yeah well you don't understand my kids are little they're babies and now i'm exhausted You don't understand that? Well okay first of all I've got two kids so I definitely do understand and second of all that reason isn't going to help you right now

03:05 It doesn't mean that we can operate our optimum level at all stages of life. Of course, there's circumstances there's things going on but if who you are fundamentally like your baseline is showing up for yourself running an operating system that gives you the results that you desire then whatever the circumstances whether it's hot or cold whether you've got a baby or you've got a teenager how you're gonna show up In the best possible state of mind, the best possible physical state. The most grounded emotional state to deal with anything that life throws at us and that's what so important. That's what too many men get wrong and somewhere where I've first

03:54 I say about first learn this, but where it got really hit home to me early on in my personal development self-development journey was reading Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Now as usual the camera is briefly gone off again there it comes come back. Oh been trying to fix that for weeks anyway they get my brain back on track yes Steven Covey's seven habits of highly effective people It's a book, it is the reason why I didn't want to bring it up first. You know early doors right? It's a book that every man should read every man and woman should read quite honestly. I've given it to my kids have they read yet no not of course but thats because they're kids very few kids you know will do what it takes. I gave my boy the teenage version of Think an Grow No Not Think and Grow Rich of rich dad poor dad

04:54 I gave him an awesome book for teenagers called How My Brain Works. Again, epic book! Actually read it myself and then no one read it but then I think back to when I was a teenager would I have read these things if my dad gave it to me? Probably not. And my dad said to me once um...I think was probably after one of The various breakups and heartbreaks. He said, my dad never told me nothing so I'm not telling you nothing and besides he wouldn't have listened anyway if ever i say my dad said this he probably said it with a load more swear words in

05:32 Do you remember that Twitter feed? I think it was called Shit My Dad Says and then they turned it into a TV show with William Shatner. Shat being the operative word because he was pretty poor but the Twitter feed was fun so sharpened sword It's the seventh habit in the book, right? And this is my take on it. So if you've read the book and you're thinking I'm going to switch off this podcast now please don't! And i'm not just gonna run through them like do this, do this, but these are my experiences and reflection of that guy that says yeah but you don't understand...it's about addressing each one in a way that we can understand it and actually set about doing it

06:16 The idea of sharpening the sword really spoke to me almost instantly. Now, it's not I don't have a sword. I'm not often engaging in battle reenactments but I don't suppose you are either or even chopping down a tree with an axe Of course if you've got a sharp ax the trees going to get chopped down much better But a tomato If you've ever tried to cut a veg with a blunt knife, you'll know what an absolute saga it is. And in particular tomato if the knife is sharp the tomato gets cut beautifully nice slice through same meat obviously but if you try and cut a tomato with a blunt knife

07:00 Mush on the chopping board and that is what I'm talking about. If you as a man approach your life as a blunt instrument, you're going to struggle. You're going to create mush and mess everywhere in the moment after the moment it's kind of obvious it is obvious Now you've built the business, you've got the family. You're going through the motions. You think everything should be awesome and yet it isn't so why is that? Your this she's that! Why are you fed up with doing this?! It shouldn't be like this or do you know what... The number one reason men feel fed-up and worn out in a weak and pissed off lost and stressed whichever combination of that might sound

07:49 might resonate with you. It comes back to the foundational element of the high value man system for living, which is taking responsibility for yourself and sharpening the sword is about taking responsibility for yourself. You know a quote here success without self awareness is just ego in a suit success without self awareness is just ego in a suit like if you don't know the man in the mirror If you're not showing up for yourself Then you just a shell that's basically what that saying and this sharpen the sword is exactly like that. And if we look at

08:32 At the fire code, which is the habits and routines inside The High Value Man Project. You can see how the elements of sharpening the sword across your mental physical emotional health can be optimized how you can take control of them and when you're doing that no matter what the conditions or circumstances are you get to show up you get to feel like you're in control not dominating or bossing people around not patriarchal we're not flipping The N word, you know. We're just showing up as confident charismatic strong men ready to lead in our lives and that's what the essence of this is okay so focus looking at yourself

09:22 In terms of an operating system okay how your brain is really getting through the day and if the brain was that blade that we were talking about how can a foggy mind be feeling control, how can I a foggy mind manage at strained conversation right now. How do we get our mind clear is this various ways? What will come on to sleep and die and stuff in one of the actions but clearing your mind as a habit.

10:01 Whether that's journaling, whether that's meditating and by the way meditating doesn't mean laying down somewhere. Meditating can be going for a walk on a regular basis people who have a dog and go out in the fresh air in the countryside you know go out for a walk on it you know on a twice daily basis they're going to have a clear mind that is a meditative process For some people, reading is meditative. Right now... Now obviously when you're reading you're not necessarily getting your thoughts down which is one of the magical things about journaling. You say this to men and they are like oh I'm not bloody doing that! I'm not saying that I do it every day even though I recognize the value of it and enjoy doing it but doing on a consistent basis if you struggle with sleep

10:47 Journaling before you go to bed is really just saying how's the day gone what am I like, what did i get done? What didn't I get done? What do I need to do tomorrow. That's clearing your mind so rather than falling asleep and having it there present and whirling around, intention of that is that it goes down on paper and your left clear to sleep this processing if you think about a computer this processing Period would seem obvious we got this machine in our head that's handling thousands of thoughts every second let alone everyday more than we even realize and if you want to clear your mind.

11:34 You gotta get some of it down. And one of the hidden benefits is not just about what you're putting down on paper, your brain is going into a state where its creating new thoughts or giving it the freedom like subconscious mind to process these stresses all these ideas all these new avenues and that's where you get moments of inspiration thats where you come up with solutions to things when Jump in the shower or driving along the motorway it's not by chance and the more you clear your mind, the more your mind will flourish. Okay number two impact right

12:19 We are bastardizing the fire code a little bit here but that's because I want to drop in some other elements as we go through it right impacting the fire code is around money and business and your community like how you showing up for yourself. Professionally raising your standards in this area is absolutely vital and who you associate with his party people, In your inner circle, your mentors, your network the people that you work with or partner with or collaborate with. The old expression of you are the sum total of five people who spend most time with other versions of that come across if you're the smartest man in the room and definitely in the wrong room it's a rising tide that you need to be in control off

13:16 Now it's kinda fun to go and give a talk somewhere or be that figurehead, but not all the time. You've got to constantly be challenging yourself by networking and learning and being associated with people who are operating on the level above you or even too above you That's how you move up. That's how you sharpen the sword, okay? Imagine staying in school and constantly being kept back. They don't do that in England but in America! You see on TV they're keeping me back! My American friends and family can drop us a comment let me know exactly what that experience is like as if it did but... I'm not hugely

14:05 Religious person but in terms of the wisdom that we find in faith. Iron sharpens irons, Proverbs 27 17 you got to realize you know it's the people that you put yourself around is going to determine how you sharpen function number three your relationships It's about connecting with the people you're closest to and if you'd say to me as many men do I don't have enough friends or i dont see my family, im not connected to my kids this is a huge impact on how many experience life how many of the experience being detached are being isolated is exhausting.

14:51 It's like a dimmer switch on a room that is slowly being turned down and down and down. If you're not putting yourself around other people, if you're not feeling connected and supported let alone loved then the juice in your life is going to drain away. And it's not difficult Right in the same way that the networking and mentoring isn't difficult. How do you connect yourself around a higher state of people, it's about joining a brotherhood of men like The High Value Man Project

15:29 You might sign up for a business program. Now we do talk about business leadership and we do work on business leadership in the High Value Man, but in terms of the baseline functioning of your business you might be an accountant, you might be a marketing agency owner like what masterminds are out there? And if you don't have the money or the inclination to do that, you could at least be in a LinkedIn group or Facebook group around that particular subject. You've got to take the initiative and put yourself into those groups if you live in a city, it doesn't even have to be a big city but in the UK there are the likes of Brighton and Cambridge and Bristol Manchester Liverpool like these they've got hubs of creativity they've got hubs of technology

16:22 Are you going there for their events? Are you turning up at the networking opportunities. If your not, then what hope do you have of feeling like your moving forward and if your not moving forwards then your just moving backwards. So bringing that into relationships which we were just talking about number three making the time for your wife or children Putting a list of friends and family people that you've ever felt connected and supported by in your life onto piece of paper and then systematically calling them making sure that you spoken to someone once, a week I can do a friend on family member once a week it doesn't seem like much less cause not much but if you're not doing its nothing and if you're doing it consistently small consistent actions thats how we create compound leverage.

17:16 No small actions deliver big results, massive results and the really critical thing about relationships in particular people you're closest to that will probably be your wife or significant other. If that relationship is tough then it would drag you down there's a Something that happens in a lifeguard situation is that quite commonly when a lifeguard swims out to go and rescue someone, the person they're about to rescue literally grabs hold of them. And there is a significant risk of both of you drowning

17:57 That can happen in a relationship the if you're not putting yourself around other people and your focusing all your attention or all your emotional needs on to one person then it is suffocating. The person that you love that you wanna feel inspired by, want to jump into bed with like what passion intimacy with if you are requiring everything you need in your life from that person thats not what they signed up for So like the lifeguard dragging that person down even though she loves you and you love her is probably shit. It's probably a tough experience because that's not who she wanted to be for you, it's not who you should expect her to be for you and that's why you need these other people in your life That's why you need to make quality time with your partner or kids, for yourself to see your friends and family and have fun

18:53 So number four, which in the fire code is E for energy and if you don't have enough energy then how do you expect to show up and function? And of course there will be times when you've got babies or your going to be doing hard work. One of the guys in High Value Man Project he's just been launching a new business and this guy has been telling me how he's been pulling these kind Almost all nighters are waking up at two o'clock in the morning with his brain full of ideas and then we have our session together.

19:32 He's exhausted and bags. I'm like, what is going on? And he's like, I'm building something as okay well just make sure that you don't flip him run out of steam before you get out the tunnel Like a swimmer right one of those Iron Man, not Ironman new mud challenges or Tough Mudder Or the ultimate one in the UK that kicked it all off was tough guy You go through that tunnel, you know where the end is but you got to get to it before you run out there Otherwise you are screwed. You have to be operating at a level that is enough to get you through the period your going through and fundamentally there's a baseline as well right, for getting you through any situation and that is your sleep, that is your diet, that is your hydration like it should never be in a moment of life where you say oh I just didn't have time for that

20:30 Make you like it just doesn't make sense one of the crazy things I see with men who just having little kids is when they both get up to do the night time feed that doesn't make any sense. It's like a nice or she might be saying, I need you to be awake and support me know what you need to do is realize that one of you does You know up till eleven o'clock midnight then you sleep from one til five am and then she sleeps from. Five AM to eight am there's some sort of system there why you optimize the opportunity for you both to get enough sleep so that you can function and. That's a really literal example although busy work period is a literal example but somewhere in amongst this you've got to make sure that your getting enough sleep

21:25 Got to make sure that you're fit and strong. I don't need a six pack, you don't need to win an Olympic gold medal but if you can do twenty five press ups if you can run jog 5k in somewhere between 25 and 30 minutes then your not fit You're lifting your god up to get underneath it and you know what's those creases in the shower you not. Fit that is sharpening the sword if you were put into a battle life we all got flipping conscripted which might be happy are you ready you know,

22:13 Your wife wants to jump your bones and you're gonna have a weekend of passion are you ready for some real awesome sex or are you just out of shape self conscious not gonna get past flipping half an hour sweating in going at it like that's not ok. And you can take control of this anytime you can sharpen the sword of these any time, 7 or 8 hours sleep a night, or at least on average. Hitting the gym 3-4 times a week and if you can't do that doing it home getting out and doing at least one 5k run or jog a week. Protein! Not enough men know about what they're putting into their body how they fuel in their body on a day to day basis The amount of protein you should be eating... You know eggs cheese... ummm... Why does my mind always go blank?

23:06 Greek yogurt, even meat. You know different types of meat are going to have protein levels in it or you supplement it with a protein shake right inside the high value man inner circle we've got a couple of nutritionists who speak on a regular basis and really give you input and guidance on what your eating as fitness instructors as well but this baseline of 1.2 grams per kilogram of body weight is a really good guide for the amount of protein you should be getting into your body and that is across the day. That's how you give yourself energy and strength to get through the day, and of course hydration waking up drinking about a pint of water when you wake up is one of the most

23:53 Simple habits that I've implemented across my life in the last 10 years. Someone said it to me about 10 years ago, drink filtered water the moment you wake up drink a pint of water it wakes you up it flushes your body it kick starts every part of you let alone just gets you out bed and get you going okay I can do that because you can do that you can pick a habit like that and do it 15 to 25 press ups on the floor in your bedroom every morning no matter where you are in the world. You can do that so make it a function of who you are if you're like, oh I've got to get fit and fat flipping oaf and I cant' do it and don't get fit hate going to the gym and I know what you gotta shift your mindset about this is who I am is fit and healthy

24:44 You can take that another level. Who I am is dad, who I am is flipping sexy beast with my wife and then if you work back from that then in order to be that then you should be fit and strong when you should be energized which is a much better state of mind than oh I've got to do this because I'm fat no! You gotta do this because your sexy beast because your dad to your kids because your successful business owner and by the way I love this saying, I heard it years ago and use it all the time. Before you think you're depressed check your not just really fucking tired. That is such a powerful thought about how what's going on in your world? This episode, this live is called The Number One Reason Men Feel Weak Worn Out And Stressed and here's how to fix it fundamentally are you just really bloody tired because if you are get more sleep

25:50 Number five, do something hard. Challenge yourself! The rut of being stuck in your comfort zone is so negative and draining. A challenge doesn't have to be climbing Mount Everest right? A challenge is something that's a stretch from your norm Something that you don't necessarily like doing but you've been told it's a benefit. A challenge isn't flipping smoking a bunch of crap right because that's not a challenge, having a cold shower is a challenge people say to me why am I doing this bloody horrible do it because its horrible but not horrible and like it's gonna screw you over horrible but there's a load of really positive benefits from starting your shower cold

26:40 And then having a nice shower and finishing it cold. It isn't that nice, but the positive impact of it by the way I haven't done this now for over probably 15 years is something that I simply can't go without so when people say to me oh don't like it what's on the other side if you not liking it? When you get to a point where you do like it, you value the impact of it and you then like it That's a challenge worth getting through And there are so many challenges that are worth getting through, that you can test yourself with. Schedule one hard thing a month whatever that looks like for you fasting for a day now like why am I not going to eat for a day? Fasting is such has such a positive impact on you physically right and by the way if you do have any medical conditions you might want to check your doctor first but go

27:34 Going without food for a day isn't really a health problem for most people. It's going to do all sorts of things to your metabolism where your body will go off and look for different fat stores, different energy stores to get yourself through the day which is likely going to benefit your weight like managing your weight if you're looking to lose weight even then you're gonna end up for sure on that day calorie deficient It's also going to then help you manage cravings on other days. So that one day is gonna help you across other days, it's gonna change your habits around food. It's also gonna leave you with the experience that you can do tough things and if what you can... What you're doing in one area of life you can do in all areas of life. Can I do tough things? Can you give up coffee for a month

28:25 Can you sign up if you do park run every other week once a month great. Can you sign up for 10k can you sign up for a mud run or some kind of tickets to high rocks but there's plenty of similar ones like it could work out a way to get into high rock did she see that this week the london one There were 40,000 places apparently. The bloody thing runs across the week like Thursday Friday Saturday and Sunday when do people ever go and take a day off work to go into fitness event? 120 quid per person, 40 thousand tickets if you've ever had an idea I'm not followed it through there are some people who are making some money so that's the challenge

29:12 I'm giving things up like giving out coffee, giving out beer, giving out bread. Doing something like that can teach you so much about yourself You don't know what it's like to give your body a caffeine detox until you've done one By the way if you do that What caffeine does to you a month later when you have a coffe or have a... I am not advocating cancer monster but if you did have one like BOOM! It is literally like rocket fuel Okay so any kind of challenge and to be honest this whole sharpen the sword conversation is about setting yourself challenges, it's about doing something hard on purpose getting out of your rut because if you're feeling stressed worn out and weak. It's probably because you're not pushing yourself

30:06 Because you're not clear in your mind is cuz you're not putting yourself around people that are lifting up and inspiring it's because you're not feeding into your friendships and family and support network the love and connection you feel. Is because you're not looking after yourself physically, but your body is not set to deliver you the day the life that you want And it's because you're not doing anything that's outside of your comfort zone. It's cause you're not challenging yourself if who you are is a bit bored and a bit shit, and don't do anything worth shouting about then guess what? That's going to be how you feel is gonna be how you show up and it's gonna be the experience you get back from other people. And that's why you have to transform this! Is why you have to take control of yourself in these areas

30:57 Because when you push through, when you stretch yourself. You naturally move up to that next stage and when you don't the exact opposite happens. Get into this downward spiral where one missed opportunity creates the next missed opportunity If you're not looking after yourself, then your relationship won't be so good. If your relationships not going to be so good, you're gonna struggle at work if you struggle at work, You're gonna be stressed out and you won't sleep which means you won't want to get up and do any exercise which just makes all those other things happen even more And the more it happens the more you shut down and feel like this isn't what I wanted This isn't going how I wanted it too this relationship screw What am I gonna do about it that inner turmoil

31:43 Which then creates more of the downward spiral. It's perverse, it's low value is the antithesis of the high-value man life and that's how the concept and all the coaching in the frameworks inside The High Value Man Project got developed so it's not just about self care right sharpening the sword is about self leadership for yourself for your family for your business they all depend on you having a sharp edge because I said at the beginning Try to cut that tomato with a blunt knife is an absolute mess. Slicing through it with precision and accuracy, like yourself slicing through your life with precision and accuracy is what you actually want! And that will give you the experience that you desire

32:34 I hope this has been of value and interest to you. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a transformational book, it kickstarted my personal development journey or certainly was right in the early days of it and if you're not reading, if your not expanding your mind then you're not going to take yourself on the kind of journey that I've taken myself on that leads me here today to do episode 140 of this podcast to run The High Value Man Project What can you create? Who is it that you want to be because it's on you to get out there and do it. Please like and share this podcast, oh the review of the week I can't award a review of the week prize cause I was not getting any reviews over the week Get yourself over to Apple. I should have said this at the beginning surely but to be fair anyone who has listened till the end your'e people if you haven't left a review yet on apple

33:31 The And obviously on Apple Podcasts it's dead easy. Wherever you're at, click to subscribe to this podcast to get the latest episode and if you're ready to start your High Value Man journey whether that's working one-on-one with me or whether it's joining The Inner Circle then get yourself over to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group

34:11 And that will get you into the base camp or indeed, you can message me simply jonnie at johnnyjensen.com or jonnie at highvaluemanproject.com Too many actions for you there but I'm sure you've got one of them! Drop me a comment here and i will get to you Okay men thanks for being here I will see you next week let's go Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow dads! Creating the life you deserve starts with YOU. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go