Putting Fun At The Heart Of Your Success

00:02 Welcome in this episode of the Team Super Dad podcast, putting fun at the heart of your success. Why do so many dads tell me they're just not having enough fun? Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hello, gang. Welcome, as always, to the Team Super Dad podcast. You are live for those people watching those people on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube.

00:47 Good to have you here, especially all those dads in the Super Dad Club over on Facebook. Good to have you here, gents. Following on. This is the final part of P for purpose in the Team Super Dad power code. It is the most important part as well. Fun. Fun. Can you do an F with a... Can you do an F with like the loser? I don't know. There you go. Fun. Fun. Having enough fun in your life, right? No one gets to their deathbed and wishes. I wish I'd had more arguments. I wish I'd had more stress. I wish I'd had just a little bit more worry and anxiety in my life. Not what anybody wishes for.

01:33 No matter what level of success you've got, no matter how much times might be tough, the opportunity to see the lighter side of it, the Monty Python, always look on the bright side of life. It sounds like it's a pretty basic, of course, Johnny, that's obvious concept to have. But then people who are kind of, oh, are not having as much fun as they want, who are struggling, then it seems like a real faraway objective, something that is literally out of reach. And curiously, it is often the more successful dads.

02:17 You know, the most of the Team Super Dad crew are business owning dads. A lot of them are single dads. So success isn't really the problem. It's about creating the life they desire, creating something where they feel fulfilled and that they feel actually in control of themselves. They feel positive about everything they're creating, their relationships, their work, and the amount of fun they're having. And so much of where success falls short is when you've got everything you thought you wanted, but then you turn around and you're just not enjoying it. That is a real kick in the nuts for so many men.

02:54 If you've not joined us before, great to have you on board. If you are here and know a dad that will benefit from watching this, then feel free to share it with them. Or if they're listening to it on a podcast, feel free to share it with them. Team Super Dad, we are a motivated community of modern dads living with greater clarity, confidence, and conviction so that we can create the life we desire, not the life that we feel stuck in. Sorry about the weird lighting going on if you're watching. I sat here for about 10 minutes trying to fix it. And in the end, I thought, sod it. Like, there's plenty of, I watch a guy on YouTube.

03:34 His reels, his shorts are, they're watched by thousands and thousands of people and they're appalling in terms of the setup. But actually, the content's pretty good. So what's his name? Seth Godin, a digital marketing, or I suppose you could say a marketing guru now. His blog read by millions sat on the crappiest, oldest blogging platform for years and years and years. It's about the content, not necessarily how it gets the platform. There you go. So share this

04:15 with any other dads that you feel want to would value it and comment live. If you're watching on the live, give us a comment. You can actually join in the conversation, of course. And if you are watching on the replay, give us a hashtag replay or any other comment you want. All of the work we're doing here, all everything we're talking about is part of the power code methodology, the power code training. It underpins all the coaching inside of Team Super Dad. The Power Code is a method for reconnecting with who you are, creating the inner strength, the mindset and the flow to actually make it happen, and then putting the practical steps in across doing the

04:57 work, engaging, creating quality. quality time with the people that matter most to you putting mentors around you and actually the r the r of power the reward having celebrating your wins having fun going on adventures which neatly brings us back to the top of it okay because inside of purpose the p for power if you're not planning for fun if you're not speaking to friends and family if you're not making arrangements if you haven't got a bucket list of some kind of adventure big hairy ass adventures as well as little practical things that you can tick off if if you haven't got

05:36 fun as a core value and fun means different things to certain people okay it doesn't have to be front of the roller coaster 200 mile an hour scared out of your wits like that's fun to some people it doesn't even have to be a big party most extrovert person in the room laughing and joking getting blind drunk what like fun for you is what you constitute as fun and when you get honest with yourself it's it's not difficult it's not difficult to know what you enjoy doing if you find it like it's not front of mind it means you're not having enough of

06:16 it it means you're not focused on it it means you're not planning for it and that is a problem because when you work work work all that the old adage of work uh what is it i always do this and then forget all work and no play makes johnny a dull boy right whatever whatever your name is all work and no play is absolutely going to um disrupt and upset every effort you're trying to make to create the quality of life that you desire but we don't think of it like that we think of i've got to be successful at work i've got to create the business i've got to look after the kids i've got to mow the lawn i've got to tick off the jobs that my wife has left me to do so without realizing it fun starts to come at the end there's a we've just got tickets for

07:08 the upcoming mickey flanagan tour and on the adverts that were being put out last week was a was a snippet from from his uh sketch about uh if you're a bloke if you want to go to the pub on a friday night you've got to take a long run up these days you've got to ask for permission and too many men in their relationships fun part of their life things they enjoy doing things that fill them up and enrich them have become something that's out of reach something you have to ask permission for or something that simply because you're so busy in other areas that you've forgotten to do it ends now right when we look at fun as part of purpose in my work with dads it's about bringing it back to the forefront so when we're reconnecting the other the other elements if you've listened to the last four episodes of this the other elements of the power code are about reconnecting with with actually who you are and what you want out of life it's

08:01 about um reconnecting with your strengths your values your passions your commitments and it's about understanding your why like what is my why for getting up in the morning and going after this goal and this intention so all those parts are really who you are and what you want and why you're going after it but then if you're not if you imagine you've got all that woohoo great but if you weren't actually enjoying it then what was the point of all that hard work then this that point i made earlier about it's often the more successful people who are actually the most unhappy because they're stressed out burnt out and their relationships are struggling as a result of it that wasn't the life they planned for themselves so

08:46 in simple terms the actions for you this week your friend list okay speaking to friends and family on a regular basis you know let alone seeing them making plans to see them is absolutely vital it's it's almost a habit well it's not almost a habit it is a habit that i want to encourage in you to actually pick up the phone on a weekly basis and reach out to an old friend to to your brother to to to a cousin to your mum or dad like make sure that you are connecting with people that you enjoy the time uh and the relationship with because when you let it stretch and fade you then feel disconnected

09:26 from obviously the people you love but the people you're then close to but if you start to feel disconnected from everybody it's very destabilizing it's it's it engenders stress and anxiety because we're out here on our own talk about loneliness as a modern day epidemic pandemic i can't use the word pandemic anymore but prior to covid um uh it was not pandemic epidemic you know a guy i know um wrote he's got a whole book about loneliness as a modern day epidemic. So, it, but the reality is there's people all around us, you know, how much of an effort are you actually making to connect with people?

10:08 And as blokes, there's that thought of, well, it'll be weird. What we're going to say, why would I call him? But, but the opposite of that is, well, of course, they want to speak to you. If you were friends on whatever level, reconnecting the opportunity to have a chat and catch up. I spoke with my dear friend Vic last Monday. We spoke for like an hour and a half, but no, we had to actually schedule it because I called her the week before, and of course, she was busy. And rather than just, oh, oh, yeah, see you soon, we actually scheduled it right. Video calls, easier than ever. So she had a wine, I had a cup of tea because I'd just been to the gym or something.

10:49 And we sat and chatted for an hour and a half, right? So have that schedule. So make a list. All the people you've ever cared about, ever had fun with, ever enjoyed a beer with, like whether they made you laugh or you found them interesting, make a list. If there's people on that list who were of specific interest, a specific memory, I've got friends in Chicago who, because of how many years I've been going to Chicago, I count as dear friends, some of my oldest friends. But because of how blooming far it is, I don't necessarily see them that often. If I don't speak to them between the last visit and the next visit, it could be years.

11:30 So why am I going to let that relationship fade away into nothing? Let alone when I see them next, is it going to be the first time we've spoken in years? Or are we going to just kick right back off and carry on the conversation and have a good laugh and drink beers, watch sport, go to the beach? And then go back, now go back through that list and then start to asterisk them or put them into some kind of an order. It's not weird. Maintaining the relationships with the people you care about most is not weird, right? So make it happen. So speaking to them on a weekly basis, then make a plan for once a month to clearly socialize.

12:07 It sounds like once a month, but as a minimum, once a month, make a plan to actually have a dinner party, you know, have dinner, happy round for dinner, play a game, go paddleboarding, go to the movies, go bowling, whatever it is. Bloody do something social with the people you enjoy spending time with. The number of people, there's, I'm not even going to get into that, but some people have a lot of fun, some people don't see anybody for weeks on end. Whatever it takes, make it happen. And then on a quarterly basis, have at least one weekend away planned with your mates. Do something, actually go and see them, go and visit old friends, buy tickets to a concert, plan a festival, whatever it is, actually plan to do something.

12:50 And then, of course, you could be planning a holiday, summer holidays, Christmas, whatever it might be. But those significant times of the year, don't you know when they're coming up? So don't be sat on your ass with nothing to do on bonfire night in the UK or Halloween. You know, and of course, the obvious key dates in the year are Christmas New Year and Blamin, your birthday. Don't let it roll around to the week before where you're thinking, oh, well, what am I going to do? I've got no friends. I've got this. Like, be the person that creates something. Make it happen. Next up around fun inside of purpose is the simple

13:31 idea, the concept of a bucket list. Now, people, it goes through cycles of trends or I don't know whether it ends up as a TikTok video or something nowadays or people talking about it, some influencer. But a bucket list, you know, or they call it 50 things I'm going to do before I'm 50 or whatever version, whatever milestone in your life you created, it is a really healthy, useful thing to do because it actually starts your mind off on, well, what the hell do I want to do? Is it as simple? And if you listen to the wrap-up podcast we did all through COVID,

14:12 Glenn got me thinking about, okay, well, a bucket list doesn't actually have to be huge, big things. Glenn's on Glenn's bucket list is learn to do the Rubik Cube. I've tried, it's really hard. I've even watched the videos, still didn't get around to it. But things that are within reach. Okay, another one that Glenn shared was he wanted to fly a plane. Now, by having it on his bucket list, he ended up having a conversation with someone where he talked about his bucket list and he talked about there being the idea that he wanted to fly a plane on it. She said to him, Oh, I've got my commercial pilot's license. Um, meet me in Birmingham and we'll go we'll go flying.

14:56 So, as Glenn tells the story, and I'm not going to find what podcast it's on, but it is on there back in the in the history. Uh, he gets to the to the place, the airstrip, the airport, and he didn't realize that she would actually let him fly the plane. But no, he she let him fly the plane. It's like it's totally allowed, apparently. Um, so he's there, he's flying a plane, ticked it off his bucket list. You create the positive, um, it goes back to if you listen to the other episodes, it goes back to this reticular activating system of when we're focused on something in our mind, we're more likely to make it happen.

15:36 It sets off our senses and triggers in our mind that actually focus our attention on that thing happening. It adjusts because we'd go mad if we didn't filter out all the things we see and hear every day, but it adjusts what we look out for. You will find yourself noticing more red cars if you're thinking of buying a red car. It just is what happens. So, when you have a bucket list and you start to think about the things that I want to do, the places I want to go. I did mine with Joe last week because we bought these new journals and it's got in there 50 goals. I was like, wow, okay, 50 goals. Here I am talking to you about it, but I got stuck at around 42.

16:15 Now, we shouldn't get stuck at 100, but because we don't think about it, we haven't got a clear idea of cool things we want to do, places we want to go. Um, of people always go, I've got to mine the northern lights because it's just a cool thing. Um, and it's only in Iceland, which technically speaking can't actually be that far from the UK, but it's on there. Um, uh, backpack around the world. Um, what else did I put? Oh, I want to do the Cresta run, you know, the toboggan, the crest to run. We want to do that. Uh, similar in the world of winter sports, there's a thing called the flying kilometer, which is straight down.

16:55 Uh, and I think I could get up to 100 kilometers on there. I, when we were skiing last year, I clocked about 70 kilometers. Just so it's on there. Um, I'll drive across America. There we go, that's on there. I'll sing in a band on stage. That's what I want to do that. Um, so if you don't have these things, you can't, it's not a hope in hell that you're going to start to create them. I'd really quite like to play the harmonica as well, which I guess probably isn't that hard either. So, these things are out there. Okay, do a two and a half hour tri-thon. That's on my bucket list. Like, but that fuels my intention and focus around fitness.

17:39 So, if you haven't got a bucket list, then in the in this area of fun, your capacity to think big, your capacity to dream big is limited hugely. It's also, as a dad, by the way, a great thing to do with your kids. It's a fun afternoon. It's interesting things to talk about in the car. Um, it's a good thing to talk about on a date or within a new relationship. A great way to sanity check how compatible you are or simply start a conversation if you're out on a date that's not going very well.

18:22 So, those are the two final elements of, well, there is a final final element, but we'll save that for those people that come and actually be part of the power code. Make that friend list, put them in some kind of order, people that you want to reconnect with and have some fun with. Write a bucket list, get excited about things you want to do, the goals you want to achieve, and not like boring goals, serious goals. These are like crazy ass things. I want to do a bungee jump. I don't actually want to do a bungee jump, but I do want to do a skydive. And I do, I'd like to do a tandem one, but also quite like to do you have to have many you have to do in order you can do it on your own.

19:03 Oh, I really want to do that flying suit, the the the like the red bull wing suit. You have to, you have to be seriously a brave, b crazy, and c well-trained to be able to do that. But to be able to fly, like jump off one of those of a cliff and like fly down in the wing suit, that's on the bucket list. So, you can see how like you warm, warm up, you lean into this conversation. Come on over to the Team Superdad group. It's on Facebook. If you search up Superdad Club or in fact, much better, if you go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group, that will get you in and get you all the.

19:44 the good stuff I have available for dads on their way into the Team Superdad Club. Thanks for joining me. Share this conversation with your kids as well. It's powerful to let them know what you're up to. It gets them excited about their dad does cool things. Okay. And particularly in this conversation tonight, both things you can coach your own kids to actually do and to embrace. If you've enjoyed this, come on, leave a review if you're listening to the podcast. Comment and share if you're watching on the live or on the replay. And I'll see you next week.

20:25 Oh man, I haven't teed up the brand, the outro. It's been good to have you here. Team Super Dad out. Bye. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at teamsuperdad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.