Pancake Overload - The Wrap Up #28

00:02 Boom, it's Friday. It's that time of the week. It's the wrap-up. And we're here for celebrating the end of our week. Dads, mums, Martians, everyone, you're welcome. Let's do this. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hey, welcome, welcome. It is that time of the week again, the end of the week, which can only mean the wrap-up is here. Glenn, aka a dating dad, and myself representing all of Team Super Dad.

00:46 I'm Johnny Jensen. It's good to see you all. Glenn, how's it going? Oh, it's good. I love the fact you've mentioned the Martians because obviously we've got the new Martian lander. Mars is the only planet in the known universe to be inhabited solely by robots. And I'm a massive, massive geek. And I fucking love it. I love that we've got another robot on Mars. Do you know what? We haven't actually spoken about this, but it has occurred to me in a Seinfeld-esque way, like just this random sort of situational humor where like we, the humans, billions of miles away or however exactly far we are, we keep sending these little like,

01:29 I think there's loads of people on Mars, yeah. And they go like, uh, it's going to arrive in two days' time. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, what are they going to send this time? And then they're just laughing as this remote aeroplane drops in from the atmosphere. Oh, it's crashed. Yeah, they've got like bookies are betting on it. Is it going to land? Is it going to crash? There are Martians that absolutely love us. They think we're hilarious. It's like Big Brother. Yeah. Look at this cute. Oh, they've sent a buggy this time. It's got a camera on the front. Like dropping like crumbs in front of us. The thing is, what I think we really need to do is just instead of sending all these like really multi-million pound kind of exploratory vehicles, just take something from Robot Wars and take that up.

02:14 Let it just land there, fuck shit up, and then they'll know who the real masters of the soul system are. Sir Lancelot chucking in Lancelot. Dropping him. Yeah, yeah. Is it, was it, was it Lancelot? Was it Lancelot? I tell you, because there was one which was kind of, it had a lance with a kind of the jaws of death from house robots. We're talking house robots here, right? Yeah, there are five house robots. And oh, kill a lot. Kill a lot. Yeah, so kill a lot. Yeah, Matilda.

02:55 Oh, he's got two. He's got two. Sergeant Death. Sergeant Bash. Sorry, can't give you that one. Bash. Yeah, yeah. And then there was the one with the jaws that kind of went like that. Dead metal. Sergeant Bash, Mr. Psycho, Growler. Oh, yeah. That was the T-boy. He goes, call one of them, Growler. Which is basically scows for Fanny, basically. I love that you explain that, though. I love that you took the time to just explain the joke for non-British listeners.

03:40 Non-British listeners. Yeah, okay, right. She had an ice growler. Cassius Chrome. Cassius Chrome. I never even heard of that one. Shit. It looked like some sort of weird porn robot. This ram that you ram out like that. It was shit. And look at the massive. Trying to fist the other robot. It's not right. Okay. So clearly, Growler and Cassius Chrome were just like the apprentice engineer who was on work experience. What a lovely way to start the show. Love Robot Wars. Still going strong, actually. It was a great. It was one of the best thing from the 90s.

04:20 But in a minute, I want to talk to you about some other great things from the 90s, but not until I found out how your week was. Well, Glenn, pretty random. Obviously, gone from Valentine's. This whole Easter moving thing, right? You don't always get Valentine's Day and Pancake Day together. Easter's linked to Pancake Day. Is it? Yeah. You get the start of Lent. Like 40 days. Jesus wandered in the wilderness for 40 days, 40 nights. That's why. Attached to Pancake Day? I think so, yeah. That's when the start of Lent.

04:59 Oh, mate. mate. I know. I was, I was just, I was doing for comic effects in terms of wearing, you know. Oh, okay. The rampant commercialism of anything that you can make money off of, you know, look, woe be tied, it's got any religious links. Yeah, okay, so we covered that off. And my uh obliviousness to uh humor, um, it's about as good as my Gaidar. There we go. So, um, so, yeah, so uh, I had a walking date on Sunday, which uh, a walking, walking as in a romantic date. Uh, well, yeah, you know, early stages, like level one, yeah, level one. The intention was to have a romantic date, to have a walk through the woods and see if there was wood.

05:44 True, I want, you know, and yes, you're right, because if there was an intention to leave a good impression, then I was intending to leave a good impression, and it was it was snowy that sounds romantic, that sounds delightful. It was very um, uh, uh, who's the who's the the black-haired bloke who does the romantic movies, the British guy, um, uh, Ben the Doff, the toff guy, the top, is you know, like I forgot his name, no, no, looks like him, but not him. That's the guy. Uh, he's in three weddings and a funeral, and uh, and what's he called? Hugh, Hugh Grant, Hugh Grant, thank you. You're just letting me squirm, yeah, absolutely.

06:27 That's how I roll. I'm trying to. The good thing is that it's warding off early stage dementia, I'm sure. Uh, so Hugh Grant, it was quite a Hugh Grant moat, like it was crisp, sunny winter morning. There was still snow on the ground, it was chilly as hell, and uh, and so there we were. Yeah, went for a walk in the, in the, and she had a dog, and and it was brilliant. It did this massive right around with her for the entire time. There was a conversation about what we're gonna do. Well, I'll say we because I won't carry it. That's my chivalry has a limit, right? Um, uh, as we discussed last week, you know, the size of a dog that I'm willing to have is directly proportional to whether its poo is bigger than mine.

07:13 So, so the dog stopped in the middle of the Chilstone Park, right? It's beautiful country manor. Um, people have weddings there and and you know, 50ths, and it's set in its own grounds in the countryside in Lenin, beautiful. So, obviously, they can't do jack shit at the moment because it's all locked down, but they are doing bacon, sarnies, and cuppers, and then you can walk the grounds with said bacon, sarni, and cupper. And uh, so the dog right in the middle of this driveway that runs up to this country mansion, the dog just squats, squats down, and just like, oh God, it was cracking me up because you know what I'm like, I got this like flipping double story goes on in my life.

07:58 It's what I see out my eyes, and there's what I see in my head, right? So, so, so inside, I'm just cracking up, I'm just absolutely cracking up, and it's turning it out like a Mr. Wimpy. All I can see is uh, pictures of this um uh Jurassic Park-sized turtle, and you're just putting an arm inside it, have some sort of weird shit inside for comedy value. It's pretty much like that. So, then she's she's picking it up, and uh, so she styled it out pretty well. She's actually, she's she's pretty cool. I know her from school, actually. Uh, she's pretty cool, good proper Kent, proper Kent girl, you know, she's got a proper Kent accent, and uh, Kent girls, there's a there's a there's a phrase for it in like a maiden of Kent or a lady of Kent or something.

08:42 Oh, I've heard some worse ones than that, yeah. I mean, we should definitely call them worse if they are, if they're true to their name, then you know what? I'll happily provide you with my number and my email address. Um, and let's let's let's let's meet up. No, in Maidstone, by the way, if you live one side of the river, you're a Maidstonian, and if you live the other side of the riddle, you're you're a made something out. There is like there's two different types of Maidstonians, depending on what side is, yeah. No, that's that's that's news to me. Well, I'd just get my uncle to tell me because I don't know enough about it, but uh, plus, in the first place, yeah, we could have been a liar, yeah. We know how gullible I am. Oh, do you like the new headphones, by the way? Look at this for our for the people watching on the live headphones

09:28 in the giveaway, the cables are giveaway. No, I've got I've got like monitor headphones because I got fell up wearing those big cans. In fact, whilst we're doing this, before we before we get on, right, seeing as we've got some people watching, listening, um, tune in basically the live comments are on. If you go to streamyard.com forward slash, no, no, no, no, go to Facebook, Facebook, streamyard.com forward slash Facebook, you get like the authorized thing, and you can bring up your face and make a comment at Glenn and I. You can say something nice, you can take the picture. piss, you can do whatever. And if you're so if you're watching, share, replay, like, spread the word. Don't be a stingy, meanie bastard. And then, if you're on the podcast, well, good to have you back. Hope we're coming out nice and clear because I do do a bit of optimization afterwards.

10:09 Um, but yeah, get on over to Apple Podcasts. Telling me you make my voice sound better. Yeah, you go, Barry White. Yeah, yeah, I just chop the tops off so people get a nice constant through there. Uh, yeah, but please, if you're on the podcast, then uh, then share it, give us a review, and definitely subscribe wherever you are, YouTube, Facebook. Give us a subscribe, bump up the number. Let's go. So, where were we? Where were we? Oh, yeah, uh, headphones. Yeah, got rid of the cans, got these like monitor headphones, so it looks it looks better, which is all about it's all important. It's all about how you look, yeah, except to our podcast listeners. Um, but yeah, so we're on the walk.

10:52 Walk was good, walk was good. Um, oh, just nice, it was nice, Chris, Chris Brady, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I want to obviously I want to interrogate you massively on this, but um, do you think there's going to be like an extra date going on? Do you think you're going to have like a second or a third date? I, I, I, uh, we've, we've chatted on the phone this week, yeah, yeah, and uh, so yeah, I'm pretty certain there's going to be another another date. Um, I couldn't say as to how far that's going to go. Hello, I think we've got love in the air here. I think I'm going to buy a hat. Buy a hat. Listen, we know, we know all about that. Uh, proposed six weeks after the first

11:38 my one and only marriage, my dad has knocked up, not knocked up, notched up four. Um, although I guess he did, no, he didn't knock up four, he knocked up three of them, but uh, yeah, so uh, no, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna, I can't be talking about hats, but I can be talking about second dates, definitely. Yeah, and from your side of things, you think it's it's a goer, not it as in her, but as in the romantic kind of no, no, I think speaking more generally, you know, it's it's it's it's weird, isn't it? You're kind of like trying to shine up. I mean, I could never imagine put like going out for dinner and getting dressed and putting a jacket on and like being like all Dellboy and going out.

12:18 But I just can't imagine that because my dating history, I've never been a really good dater. When we were at uni one time, I asked this girl out, and um, let's call her Louise because her name was Louise. And uh, and so she, she, there wasn't, I went to Stafford University where the ratio to blokes to women was something like 15 to one. Okay, so you had to be picky, you couldn't be too picky, but also you couldn't fuck it up either. So, wait, sorry, wait, wait, let me back up here: 15 to 1 in what direction? Because that's only like 15 guys to one woman, yeah, yeah, yeah. This wasn't like Nottingham, it wasn't like Nottingham University, this was Staffordshire University in Stafford.

12:58 You're telling me I need to move to Nottingham, that's like common knowledge, that's where all the all the nursing colleges are in Nottingham. They've got this insane ratio of women to men in Nottingham. Why is nobody talking? Did you never go? Well, I went to university in Stafford, so that's kind of getting up towards Nottingham way. So people are like, No, not. Oh, well, Nottingham's where you got to go, they used to say. It's all the not only is there like this ratio of women, but they're nurses as well. Where did the reputation, like when I was at uni, it's like, oh, yeah, nurses, all nurses, yeah, but the thing is with nurses, every single nurse I've ever met has just been, you know, what we're really tired. We work really hard and really long hours, and then we just go to sleep.

13:40 Do you want to hear a really random nurse story, right? So I played rugby in the first year at university, which my scouse mates took the piss out of me hilariously for because I'd have to go obviously to training and then go to rugby and stuff. So they'd be way that we'd all be stoned. They'd be waving joints out the window at me as I trudged off to training. And then after training, the rugby lads used to go out and get horrendously pissed. So I would stumble in blind, drunk. Anyway, so during a rugby match one day, I got my finger broken. So off I go to the hospital and I'm sat there in the x-ray bit. And this woman who's a nurse, she comes in. And so we're sat

14:22 in the waiting room. It was like a sketch out of flipping whatever, Harry Enfield or something. So we sat there, we sat there. And it stinks. It stinks of cheesy feet. So we're both really, we're just really ignoring this whole thing. And I've said hello because I'm generally quite friendly like that, right? So after about on, you know, like it wasn't the whole time we were there, but it was. it was enough of a time. She goes, she goes, I'm really sorry, my feet stink. Oh, you don't want to hear. I mean, there are more romantic things to hear, I've got to say.

15:03 Oh, man. I wish I knew what I said. I don't imagine I'd have said, no, they don't. I probably would have said, it's all right. It's all. Yes. Yes, they do, but it's okay. Random nurse in Stafford with the cheesy feet. If you're listening, get in touch. It'd be good to find out how your feet are these days. So, so this is like a, this is like a Ronnie Corbett story, isn't it? Back to this week. So, so we had a nice day. I think we're going to see each other again. Okay. Where I'm at with all these things is I would really like to just hang out with some more, with some women.

15:43 I'd like to. So, in terms of any kind of walking date or someone I might go out on a date with, if they're alive and I didn't fancy them, I kind of want to say, is it like, can we be mates? Because I really could, I really want more females. Almost, I was chatting with someone online because they were trying to claim that every single close person that's in your life is someone that you knew in your formative years. Now, technically, the formative years are between naught to eight years old. They were then trying to claim that, actually, no, no, no, that's up into your 20s. But most of the people that I'm close to, actually, I've met in the last four years since I've been single.

16:24 And a decent proportion of those I've met through dating or being around people who have been dating. And so you can meet some incredibly close friends through kind of romance and dating and relationships, those sort of things that you never knew when you were sort of 15, 20 years old and spotty and didn't know what you were talking about. Well, Glenn, I don't wish to make you feel awesome or nothing, but I said to someone this week, I was like, Glenn's a good play. Glenn's a lot. I find I'm going to end up mates with Glenn. I said, literally, this is the first. No, I've said, this is the first mate I've met in genuinely. I can't, I don't think I've made a friend in

17:05 probably definitely 10 years. Oh, mate. You're an awesome person. You don't need to be worried. No, it's not, it's not a little violin time, but I'm just saying that's gone on. People should have a friend. I know, but we got into this whole church thing and church thing. Yeah, I've got no, no, no time for that. No, but then when we met and she, well, no, let me for 2000. Yeah, because when I'm uh, her and I met on a course at Landmark Education. So I met a bunch of friends through a bunch of different landmark courses that I went on. And I, and I would still count some of those people as friends. Then we met and it was and it was cool. So I did meet her friends, but clearly I'm not friends with any of them anymore.

17:47 Then we just had drama personified for 10 years. And so, so, yeah, I'm looking forward. What you just said is brilliant news in terms of people in a sort of a dating situation meeting new people, becoming new friends and stuff. Oh, it makes it so different. And also, because you don't have to live off of your previous life. So I've obviously got friends from when I was young and so on, but they knew me from when I was in my late teens, early 20s. I'm a different person. I want to say, I'm sitting there thinking, I'm a better person now. I don't know, but I'm different now than when I was back then. And so this is the person I am.

18:32 And this is the person that if someone wants to be friends with me, they're going to have to get to know and like that person. And that's not always going to be the person that you knew 20 years ago who knew you as some sort of spotty teenager. So I think you can definitely make really good friends later in life than you expect. So yeah, absolutely. Okay. But how in a relationship? How, how, if you're like there was in my marriage, you kind of, you're going to, you're going to meet her mates. She's going to meet your mates. Then you're going to go have babies. No, because you need def, you need different mates. Absolutely fucking lutely. One thing I was so passionate about, and yes, it bit me in the ass because she went off and had an affair with one of them.

19:14 But I was so absolutely passionate about my ex having friends in her life that weren't our friends, that weren't my friends. I wanted her to have friends of her own so that she could then bring stories back and go and have fun with them and then tell me about them. And then maybe I'd know them, but actually they wouldn't be my friends. They'd be her friends. I wanted her to have her own life around kind of other people. So you'd have stuff to talk about. Because how can you have a relationship if you. you're just talking about the same things that each of you already knows about? I wanted to run shit, and it didn't, it didn't help that you know she went off and fucked a teenager. Um, that that would hurt me if it

20:01 is the theory was solid that in practice that with her, it needed some tweaking. Um, but the theory behind my my uh my mindset, my rationale, I think that was solid. No, I agree, I think that's totally solid. I've been doing the Team Super Dad. Uh, I've had a challenge this week, happy and focused dad challenge, isn't it? Uh, well, inside of Team Super Dad, there is the five principles of focus, fitness, family, finance, and fun. Um, but this week, it's been and this week in the happy and focused challenge, it's been geared around those things. But day one was day one was goals and ambitions and potential. Day two was uh habits and routine, day three was something called the superpowers matrix, where you tap into like basically your skills, your passions, your commitments, your values, and your weaknesses.

20:49 Day four was rock-solid relationships, and day five today was uh have more fun. So fun is my happy place, yeah. Well, as I said today, today's my favorite day, have more fun. I still got my still got the notes in front of me from from the from the day, basically. Um, I didn't get that. Could you try again? What? Shut up, Siri. Siri's just outed you on your desire for fun. She's like, No, no, Glenn, you're boring. I didn't get that. No, you didn't. You didn't have fun, did you? Fuck you, fuck you. I have no record of you having fun,

21:33 no, so it's brilliant. So, yeah, day five was the fun thing. But inside of that relationship stuff, yeah, I said, um, uh, day four was like rock-solid relationships, and there's a whole combination of things of communication and trust, and but also like do new things, don't be jealous, don't don't tie people down. Like, like be it says, um, in terms of relationship things, on the shoulder of giants, standing on the shoulder of giants. So, you want your kids to be like, I give my kids that that elevation. The same, same for my wife. Um, she may disagree, I don't know, but I think that's a message for everyone in a relationship: is you want to be the wings upon which they saw.

22:15 Like, like, so yeah, go out, have a laugh. I don't want you to flipping, be stuck here. Blimey, I've been, I've been outing people as well this week on ironing shirts. I was like, I love, I love a well-ironed shirt. I've got no time for people who don't take pride in their appearance. But I've been saying, if you if you're some bloke who expects his shirts to be ironed, then get a grip. Fuck off, iron your own fucking shirts, man. The fuck up. Oh, no, I'm totally with you. I did put a caveat in there. I said, if like play to your strengths, I said, if like if she hates washing the bath, she hates cleaning the bathroom and she doesn't mind ironing, then you clean the bathroom and she does the iron.

22:56 I mean, that's that's a good deal, basically. That's a good deal. But I was basically saying to parody, yes, but you need every man needs to be able to know how to iron a shirt. I've been teaching how to iron their own shit because I want all of my kids to be like the kind of pink job blue job sort of shit, which I absolutely fight against. Um, but I want my boys to know how to iron their own shirts. I want my girls to know how to put up a shelf. Um, yeah, they've all got to know everything because I want all of my kids to be self-sufficient because that's what you don't want to rely on anyone for anything. But if people bring things to the relationship, great, that's fine. But no, own your own stuff, yeah, totally.

23:40 That that sense of independent and also not leaving someone with a sense that they're like that you're flipping dependent on them, hanging on to their back. Like, no, we want to, we want to lift if relationship, people in relationships, because Glenn and I know about the other side of this, is uh, is lift each other up. I mean, have a laugh, celebrate, like, just do keep the thing fresh and alive, don't drag each other down, blind me. Oh, no, I totally agree, and be that, be that lifting spirit. My ex used to self-describe herself as the anchor that would hold me down so I didn't fly away. Actually, what we want, what men want is someone to fly along with them, sometimes in front, sometimes behind, sometimes above, below, around, all that sort of thing.

24:23 But to be flying on the journey, not holding us back to say, you know what, if you if you really tried, you'd be going in this direction. And you know what? Let's just bring you back down to earth. No, let's fly, motherfuckers. Let's fly. Yeah. And I, I don't, I think that is. is a, there is a bunch of people out there who, who have that perspective on the conversations. But as we've mentioned before, so many people in single parent groups, so much, it's like, well, all men want is one thing. And I'm like, okay, well, anyway, they definitely do want that, but it's not the only thing they want. And the same, it's just like, oh, God, we've talked about single parent groups before, but just

25:05 get out. Let's find some. Let's, well, I've got the URL for Team Super Mum. And I have this vision in my mind of flipping two awesome groups of people, families, men and women, kids, just firewalking, barbecues, disco, DJs. If you're a team super mum, then let's do some sort of summer picnic. You know, when COVID has sorted itself out, let's do a summer picnic. And all the Team Super Dad guys, we can bring our kids, Team Supermums can bring their kids, and we can fight our kids to the death. And it'll be like a Monty Python scene. It's going to be perfect. Starts off all friendly. And then I'll bring it wine. I'm bringing wine.

25:47 Loving Yon Blanc. And before you know it, then those single mums will reveal their true colours. Yeah. In America, the whole picnic thing is a way bigger subject. Like communities come together and they have picnics. You see it on Modern Family and stuff like that. But I don't know that it just happens. I guess we have the fair subject thing, but fairs have been taken over by crappy stalls with inflatables for a quid that they bought off Alibaba. It's not the same. Friends and I used to do picnics and we used to just all bring our families and kids along and there'd be like rounders and crap like that.

26:31 But it was that was just because that was our friendship group. I'm telling them, we just say, right, we're going to be at Moat Park in Kent and anyone who's local, just come down with your kids and pay us lots of money and bring your own weapons. Something like that. I'll let you work out the details, but we just say this is where we're at. And if it's just you and I and our kids, that's all it is. And if other people join in, fantastic. Right. Well, I did actually have a Team Superdad picnic. It would have been two summers ago now. Would have been two summers ago, yeah. In anyway, in Maeston, it's in

27:12 Teesson, Teeson Park, by the river. Magic. So anyway, back to pancakes, right? Well, we haven't even gotten to Howard's York yet. Pancake Day, a bit random. We have pancakes all the time. So the idea that you only have, it's like turkey. You can only eat turkey on Christmas Day. What are you talking about? I can only have pancakes on pancake day. We have pancakes all the time. So it was a bit of a non-event, even though we did have pancakes. It was just, we're just having pancakes again. And we've spoken about the challenge. I've been doing the challenge all week. I've worked. I've done loads of work this week. It's kind of been a bit, made me realize how much work I haven't done other weeks, but that's all pretty cool as well. And obviously, we had some better football experiences this week, which is good to see.

27:55 And it's half term. Half term. The kids are here. Mate, it's been hard. I felt so guilty this week. Work-wise, it's been incredible. This week, I've been shortlisted for a couple of bids. I've actually won one single bid that ended up is 15% of my three-year plan. So this is a big, chunky bid that we've won. So I've had an amazing, and I've taken on half of our sales team are going to now report to me. And it's been an incredible week work-wise, but I'm sitting here where I'm sitting right now and I'm looking up and I can see my kids doing their thing and playing Minecraft. But it's half term. And now they've gone back to their mums, yeah? Guilty.

28:39 They've gone back tonight. But yeah, until now, it's been all week. And I felt so guilty because I've not booked my week off. And I've been putting in massive bids and it's been an incredible week for work, but I've not been able to balance out being a parent. And that's, that's hard. That really is hard as a dad to be succeeding at work, but knowing you're failing as not failing, but you're not doing all you could do as a parent. I think we have to catch ourselves there, though, because a modern dad in a modern world, the amount of time we are able to spend with our kids is completely different than before. And even our own individual expectations on how much time we're going to spend with our kids is different.

29:24 So I've had to say to my kids this week, look, I know that normally I spend all my time with you when you're here, but I do actually have to get stuff done. I do, because if I don't, we're not going to make any money. And this is what's got to happen. And, but yeah, it wasn't too many years ago when that, when flipping heck, and I know, obviously, there's some dads now still there. They don't wouldn't see their kids. No. So it's a measure of you as a dad that you are actually caring about it and you are getting it done. And I bet if your kids, your kids might say, oh, well, it would have been nice, but it's great to see him working and we appreciate it.

30:05 Yeah. Well, yeah, and they're all happy. And if I'd have said to them, what do you want to do with your week? They would have probably chosen as many screens as they got available to them. I'm sitting there thinking, if I'd taken a day or two off of work and not sat in my seat and typed and spoken, I could have taken them, and it's harder at the moment, but I could have maybe taken them to a forest or a walk or something like that. But it's hard because of COVID. I'm thinking all the things I would normally do, they just don't apply. So looking back at time hot things on Facebook, which you've done in the past, during half-term, I've taken them to the VA Museum and to Tower of London and to Hampton Court Palace and taking them for walks along the beach and taking them to here and picnics and stuff.

30:53 All the things I just normally think, well, it's half term. I'm going to take time off. I'm going to make things happen. Right now, we can't do that. And so all it is that I'm doing is I'm sitting indoors. The kids are surviving. Maybe one of them will go out and take a walk to the lakes with their friends, or they might go to the park on a bike ride or something like that. But it's not stuff we're doing as a family. And so we're missing out on that time. And I feel really guilty about that. And I can't do anything about it. Well, I know you're not going to be the only one there. And blind me, the weeks before, it's almost like juggling it the other way because we're trying to work and homeschool.

31:33 So actually, the kids are probably getting more attention than the work is getting. And bizarrely, people have probably had to get more work done this week because they weren't doing the homeschooling. So that could be our little serious bit for the week, Glenn. We're reaching out to dads who might be feeling bad about how much time they're spending with their kids or not. And I'll tell you what, I did say just on that subject, if we're going to make it of real value in this, have more fun because day five of the Team Shipped challenge of this week was have more fun. And I said, plan it, schedule it in. You know, it's we all love organized fun. That's the best type of fun. Yeah, no, I know that sounds a bit boring, right?

32:14 But my point being is that if you've got a busy week, then flipping heck, put the put the hour in and say, right, that's the hour I'm going to play football with my boy. Well, if you don't, if you don't plan it in, if your week is that busy, then at least plan it in so it absolutely happens. Yeah. Cheeky bastard. I'm totally with you. You've got to book it off and make that time. And one thing I've been saying to my teams at the moment is: I mean, I'm really lucky in terms of my company gives us unlimited annual leave, which is a sounds wonderful, but I'm really worried that a lot of our team are worried about taking the piss. They're worried about being seen as no one else's work. Everyone else is working. So no one else is taking time off.

32:58 So I'm not going to take time off myself. There's always so much work to do that will fill the time. And if I take a week off, then it'll be even worse when I come back. And I keep saying to him, no, stop it. Take the time off. The work will always be there. Have something to look forward to. Have some time when you don't have any responsibility, whether you've got your kids or not, whether you're a full-time dad or a part-time dad or whatever, have some time when you don't have to feel guilty about splitting your time between your kids and work because it's just able to be just around them and just enjoy that time. Book it off, plan it and enjoy it. You don't have to feel guilty about it at any stage.

33:42 No. And Glenn, it's almost like we planned that because on my thing of things done this week, I'm holding up the mind map from today's session. It says, plan stuff, have things to look forward to. When's your next time off, Johnny? Well, I work for myself. I can tell you. I can tell you. I can tell you. I can tell you. I can tell you. On my birthday in May, there is a weekend booked and we are going away caravan thanks to the sun £9.50 bargains. Lovely. But I'm also a little bit, it doesn't take me much to go to the park.

34:24 It doesn't, you know, I'm pretty brutal with myself about have the kids be. been out today. So, yesterday, Rosie was actually at a friend, but Jago and I went to the park and played football for a couple of hours. Today, I just like, right, we're going into town and we just went into town. We bought cakes and we wandered around with the shops that were different shops that were opened, like Wilco's, never been in Wilco's so much. Um, but just to make just to just to just make stuff happen. I'm, I'm, we're always at the beach, we're always blimey. We go just we, I, I, I do more stuff with my kids than is probably healthy for me, but I just love it. No, not healthy for you. Then, healthy for my bank balance, yeah, yeah, okay. No, that I totally get, yeah, yeah.

35:09 So, so there, there we go. Uh, a little cough, little cough. Um, what about your week, Glenn? What about your no, yeah, Jen? Lost a funny loss of taste, actually, by the way. Uh, but no, uh, how's your week been, Glenn? You told us busy, busy, busy. Any fun stuff happened? Well, I've done a lot of fun stuff-wise, it's been fantastic, it's been really exciting. Um, it's been one of those weeks where I've, like I say, I've won some big bids, which have uh taken the pressure off me for the next few years. And uh, I've actually brought a team in, I've hired some of the people I've basically kept when I came in, I said, These are the people I want to work with, and I want to poach.

35:50 And we've managed to start getting those people because they are really good at what they do, and it's so nice to be able to say, These are the people I want, and for our team to just say, Okay, let's make that happen. So, that's good. Um, and yeah, work-wise, it's been it's been fantastic. Um, personally-wise, you know, kids, like I said, kids are kids are when I pack them off today, they're alive. I introduced them to Trigger Happy TV as well, which was a particular um win of mine. Now, this is this is maybe something that younger dads won't realize, but trigger happy TV.

36:26 Imagine, imagine TikTok and Vine and all the funny, good things you've ever known, but that were done 20 years before you were born. That's where Trigger Happy TV is, Trigger Happy TV is one of the greatest things that came out of the 90s. Was that Don Jolly? Yeah, Don Jolly. Brilliant. And you know, one of the things where I loved it when I was growing up, and to introduce it to my kids, I was worried that they would look at it and think, oh, this is just old people's stuff. But they were pissing themselves laughing, and so much so that a couple of times they've been requesting, Dad, can we watch another episode of Trigger Happy TV?

37:08 Can we watch another one? And seeing the big with the big phone. Hello! I'm on the Momo! Ciao! They're starting doing that. They're starting doing the quotes. And it's so wonderful for your kids to know that your sense of humor is translated down to your kids through upbringing as well as genetics. No, Glenn, I'm pretty certain because I'm thinking back in my life, age-wise, we've talked about my love of comedy and stuff. I'm pretty certain at my son's age, I was watching Blazing Saddles and enjoying it. Like it was, I dare say, not all the jokes were landed,

37:50 but it's really important that we instill comedy into our kids at an early age. It's the same when they're babies. I never did the whole gha ga ga gaga ga to my kids. It's like, what the fuck? Like, talk to them. Talk to them. Like, so say, what are you talking about, come on? Get get the good comedy into your kids. Like, if you want to have fun, kids, show them fun stuff. What, um, I've watched, I've watched, uh, I've been thinking about Richard Pryor recently, right? So I found an old PBS documentary about the like the life and times of Richard Pryor. He's he's widely, widely recognized by comedians as the man, like the funniest guy ever.

38:31 Like the, the, he's, yeah, he's definitely funny. Yeah. Um, uh, or at least in this documentary. I wouldn't say funniest ever because no, no, but people say, people say have you seen him? Have you seen Mark Silcox or you know, um, Michael Mackenshire, you know, that edgy comedian? Uh, no, it's not my opinion. I'm just saying, you know, when people did comedians, comedian, yeah, yeah, comedians, they're saying like, yeah, like people who look to emulating like Eddie Murphy and Brock and all this, like a path bearer sort of thing. And the bloke was born in a slum, like in a brothel in some random part of Illinois.

39:15 And so there's just this whole story around how he overcame adversity and he used those trials and tribulations as the basis to be, to be, you know, as. seriously funny guy and incredibly successful and an absolute smackhead as well. He set fire to himself. He was free basing cocaine and blew himself up. But was he happy? Was he happy? Apparently, so because he went nice to tell lots of jokes about it, basically. But yeah, so good. So yeah, I'm up for that. Trigger happy TV. I'm going to look for that. Well, funny you should mention it. Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime.

39:54 Okay, good. Watch it. Well, last night my boy couldn't sleep, right? Couldn't sleep. And it's a load of bollocks. His whole life he's been able to sleep well, right? So I said, he goes, Daddy, I can't sleep. I was like, you know, when I was telling you for the last hour, we were up to stop playing Fortnite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's why. Okay. So like, you can't pump yourself full of adrenaline and then go to bed. Okay. So now he's downstairs. I'm doing some work on my laptop and he's laying on the couch, like head on me. And I'm watching, I've got Seinfeld on it in front of me. And because I've been re-watching Seinfeld because it cracks me up. And so we were watching it and it was the episode of

40:36 where they went to the Hamptons and Kramer steals the lobsters out of the sea. And George's girlfriend gets her top off and goes topless when he's not there. And it's the shrinkage episode, basically. It's the shrinkage. You say this as if it's a global thing. I'm not a, I'm not that I dislike Seinfeld. I've just never watched it in the same sort of way. So I don't, I don't know these sort of sets. I don't know. Exactly. Yeah. So if people have watched it, it's like friends episodes. Oh, you know, the one with the people, people talk about their favorite episodes. So the shrinkage one is a classic. So no, it's really funny. So George is George Costanza's Seinfeld's mate and he's a bit neurotic, right?

41:17 And generally, stuff goes the big melon. No, no, no, not the one with the big, that's Kramer, right? So George has got like the bowling ball head. He's a short, short, lardy one. Yeah, yeah. So he doesn't have much luck with women. He's probably like me, right? So he's driving up to the Hamptons, which is like going out. If you live in New York, you go out to the Hamptons. It's like by the coast. It's sunny and beautiful and stuff like that. So they go and he's in the car with his date. So as they're going up, he's got the conversation running in his mind about, oh, just like, just right now, if I reached out and touched you, you would freak out. But later on, we're going to be in bed. That's going to be awesome. And you won't be freaking out, right? So he's having this whole chat with it.

42:00 So the episode sort of carries on. Basically, George goes to the shops and his girlfriend, who had been sat out on the sun lounges with the rest of the friends that are there, takes her top off, right? So she's now topless. You can't see any boobage. No, very, very poor. Yeah, so sad. So Kramer, who's the mad cat one, he gets like his facial expressions are hilarious. So he's basically bullying the facial expression that I probably would if someone's random hot girlfriend suddenly went topless. So Seinfeld says, we can't tell George about this because obviously George is at the shops. He's not seen her naked yet.

42:41 So he says, you can't tell about this. It was, I pictured myself so much in this situation. I was like, I was living this moment as, because it's like when you go to Ibiza or Spain and you're on the beach and there's boobs everywhere. And suddenly, suddenly, what would seem really odd and rad, it's like people have got masks on. They're like, six months ago, that would have been completely like, like we've been flipping colonized by a different race. But now, everyone's got masks on, it's fine. When he's holding me on holiday, there's boobs everywhere. You're like, can I look? Can I not look? Is it okay? How do I feel about this? Like, of course, I'm going to look.

43:20 And depending on who you're with, you're going to pretend you're not looking, but you can't help, which was, which was the whole thing, basically. Just, it got me thinking about toplessness. I think a dream relationship for me would be, you know, whether or not the woman was actively attracted to women. I think every human being should be able to see beauty in the same gender. So a woman should be able to look at, I don't know, let's just Emma Stone and see her and think, you know what, objectively, that is a beautiful woman.

44:02 I mean, even if you don't know anything about her personality, she's a beautiful woman. And every man should be able to be self-secure enough to be able to say, look at Brad Pitt. That is a beautiful man. He is a stunningly attractive physical specimen. So when you see them on. on the beach, if you're sitting there and you're looking over and your other half is looking over at them at the same time, both of you can appreciate and say, you know what? That is a damn fine man. Yeah. If you can't say that is a damn fine man and be okay with that, you're not securing yourself. No, I agree. You can't work on your own security. Not like that whole... what you're looking at like how come you fancy him like or yeah yeah

44:48 you can say someone else is attractive um and even if you say you know what they're attractive and i'm attracted to them without saying i want to do something with them yeah and that's a different thing and i think as a as as a man you should be able to say you know what i know that my missus looks at idris elbert and thinks me that is a sexy man and if all things were equal and i didn't have a niece anything around i would i would definitely love for him to uh to do very very bad things to me however and so therefore that will remain a fantasy um what about rylan do we think rylan's attractive no look at his

45:33 mate he's he's lovely but and there's always a but you know it's not he's not pretty it's not good we're both back i'm back it's rylan must be gay is he gay i don't know i'm gonna google that though we go is rylan gay i'm pretty sure i'm literally gonna google those world words is rylan gay and i've googled that and it says he got married

46:11 husband he's he is gay and more than that he's married okay he's definitely he's committed okay he's a committed gay he's married someone who looks so much like i mean the the man he's married is like a beefier version of him but he's got the same sort of beard the same sort of happy smile i tell you what i reckon i would be right i i mean besides the fact i've not got the biceps that his husband has got i'd be right up rylan's alley you could be right right up rylan's alley okay good good yeah well he's successful he's successful you can't knock it i've got i've got i've got um no uh qualms at all about being attracted by gay men some some of my um most obscene like uh propositions have come from gay

47:05 men i i i sometimes genuinely wish i was gay because i would i would have a lot more sex my my my my weirdest gay proposition right we went to a night at the end in london epic club basically and it was a party called the night of a thousand stars my daughter's showing me a list it's upside down i am going to wash my hair okay cool well uh yeah okay go for it um uh so it was called a night of a thousand stars and when you got the when you bought your ticket you had to tick off on the i'm gonna i'm gonna bring up a picture i'm gonna bring out a picture you had to tick off on the on the uh on the list which

47:49 star which famous person you were gonna go as right so i decided in my internet right yeah like stars in your eyes tonight matthew i'm gonna be right so i said tonight matthew i'm gonna be ziggy stardust you i i just decided that that that was gonna be that was gonna be 1998. i mean for for i mean i'm not saying you're not a good looking man at all um what i am saying is for those who aren't watching this on the live stream um i don't look at you and think david bowie and elf

48:27 i'm gonna blow your mind i'm gonna blow your mind here it comes incoming incoming who the is that androgynous beast so my my mate went as my mate went as the mask bow and give the brother room the views boom that's me where did you get golden um i mean that looks like cling film no so what i did was i had to so that outfit is from a that is a woman's dance outfit right i went to like a dance shop and i bought that and i got a pair of uh platform boots as well like beige suede platform platform

49:15 boots. So I've got that on. So for anyone on the podcast, it literally is a completely skin-tight gold suit. Let's not underestimate the amount of skin tight that is. I mean, that looks like it's rearranging your organs. It is pushing you in in places you should not be pushed in. So the top is cropped, right? So the top is cropped. I shaved. There's a belly involved. Yeah, the belly buttons out. The belly buttons out. It's cropped up to my somewhere midrift. And I've got my hair all sprayed and I've got Ziggy Stardust makeup on. What colour is it sprayed? Oh, it's like a pinky red, pinky red.

49:54 Bright colour. I want to build a picture for people. So we've got pink hair, androgynous features. And I mean, I can't even, like I say, skin tight doesn't do it justice. This is some sort of weird sort of shrink-wrapped sort of gold body covering that is pushing you in. Oh, there we go. We zoomed in now. We zoomed in now. Where is pushing you in in certain places? It must therefore be pushing you out in other places. Any surprise I didn't get propositioned multiple times by other gay, well, I say other gay, I'm not a gay man, but I got propositioned, two blokes proposition B in the toilets at this club, right?

50:39 The thing was, the thing was, I was like surprised. When I look back at the pictures now, I could see that I was, you know, look, it did look like I was that was. I'm totally straight and I'm halfway towards propositioning you. That's mad that you didn't no man will proposition you there. Plus, I had the boots on. I was like 6'2. It was a lot of fun. You would be a total otter. Total otter. Maybe even bring on Twink. In this club, it was a wild night. It was a lot of fun. Imagine ram-packed, everyone dressed up, but no one had the same outfit on.

51:22 Well, no one had the same outfit on as you had on. I mean, look at that. One final look. There we go. God, you look like Goldfinger's gone gay. So there we go. A lot of fun. Am I assuming you still when we meet up? Are you going to be wearing that outfit? I do have it. It's in the fancy dress box. It's in the fancy dress box. I will pay good, good money to charity of your choice if you come out wearing that outfit. Fully dressed. Yeah. I'd have to grow. Well, okay, right.

52:01 I'm definitely doing that. I don't. I'm Marty in Back to the Future. Like someone lays down a challenge. I'm not here. I weigh the same, but I think I've got a little bit more, kind of a little bit more love handly around the side probably than I did when I was out. That's amazing. I love it. Okay, we'll do that. We'll do that. Wow, we've been done 52 minutes already, Glenn. This is epic. Most of our list is not even done. Let's do hot in the 90s quickly because we did touch on Seinfeld. I'm totally hotting it over. She's called Elaine in Seinfeld.

52:45 Here we go. I'm going to bring her in. Literally not through the front door, but I'm going to bring her into it. Yes, absolutely. Elaine from Seinfeld, 100 from Seinfeld. Any hesitation, hot. Without any argument. There's nobody on earth who could say that Elaine from Seinfeld is not and or was not hot at any stage between now and her screen debut. Let's get a young one up. Oh, I need to go images. She, um, do you know she's worth like 250 million dollars? She's not getting any less hot. I kind of say, oh my gold digger. She's fully, fully minted. You're not saying she's a gold digger. Whoop, whoop.

53:27 I am messing with this bro. There's one though. There's one though. She's got a bit of a bit of cleavage there. She's got quite a few, like when they try to cover up the wrinkles with the makeup, that always looks bad. No, no, she is an attractive lady. There we go. Here's a real one. As we heard, oh, that's Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, she's... Gwyneth Paltrow, also. It doesn't matter what her vagina smells like. She's still quite attractive. Has she got as Carmen Diaz? I always see them in the same sort of vein, the same sort of world. But I still probably would go on a date with her if she asked me, maybe, if I didn't have anything else to do.

54:07 Sorry, just back to the aroma subject. this something you know about, or is this just a point of reference as to that you wouldn't put her out of bed for it? No, no, no, you know, you know, Gwen Paltrow's got the whole thing about her candles, like one of her candles is called The Smell of My Vagina or something like that. Oh, I did not know this. Oh, you don't want to Google what Gwyneth Paltrow smells like, my friend. It's here's a young one of Julia Louise Dreyfus. Yes, hot as you like. I would absolutely be intimidated to walk up to that woman and would never ask her out on a date because she's too

54:49 well. This is what we'll do, given that we're both single. When lockdown's over, we'll go out on a on a on a out. We can challenge each other to we can challenge each other to proposition absolute stunners. Okay, the thing is, I am a fucking goose-level wingman. I will wingman the shit out of you, and you will end up chatting to the most incredible women. And when you fuck it up, it will be done to you, not me. Um, I will happily set someone else up. It's just I'm shit at setting myself up. That's that's how we, that's how I roll. Okay, that's intimidating already for me to hear. Uh, my worst, here we go.

55:33 I've got so many stories. My worst experience of being set up, I went, I went to I worked at an engineering firm during a summer holiday at the university, and um, and and we went to Wales to do work at uh the Ford factory during lockdown. And so, like, there's six of us, like a van load, basically, and all the other blokes a van. That's that's basically right, go down to flipping Wales, South Wales, and fix a flexible flow system at the Ford factory. And we were, we were like on flipping Per DM out in Swansea,

56:11 and uh, one night, one of the blokes who was like, who's a proper Casanova, he he's banging on my door, like, and I'm like, What? What's going on? And he goes, He goes, Open the door, open the door. So, open the door, and he pushed this woman into my room very attractive woman who was quite drunk. And I was like half as like literally, I'd been asleep, like he woke me up basically. And so, I had been about what 21, 22, something like that. And uh, I was fully didn't nothing really transpired. We kind of rolled around a bit, and it was so weird.

56:50 I just messed it up, couldn't get it up. I was just intimidated beyond belief. I didn't, it was like I was so out so out of my comfort zone, basically. Um, regrettably, regrettably, that goes down as a as a as a missed, a missed opportunity for sure. Okay, should have been, should be the story of all time. You know, so being like, and we went at it for six hours straight, uh, but no, it was more like 45 minutes, and then uh, and then she left, hang my head in shame. We're gonna have so much fun when we end up going out, my friend. Yeah, yeah. So, we didn't get to talk about half the things we planned about. I hope you've had a laugh, everybody.

57:35 So many men that I wanted to ask if you thought they were hot or not. I would do that. Listen, we'll do it. We've already covered Rylan. You're looking pretty good today as well, Glenn. Do you know? I was going to, I said, I was going to pull you up on this. The other day, you were in work clothes, and it was you had like a beige jumper with a with a grey shirt. You just like completely like a safest, inoffensive, kind of just washed-out work outfit I'd ever seen in my life. Basically, whereas now I'm basically in sexy leather.

58:13 For all those who can't see me, I'm in leather straps and uh studs, stud work on the inside, and and yeah, just PVC underneath. That's what I mean. Yeah, it's frightening, definitely. But you're off out anyway, normal Friday night outfit. So, we were going to talk about raving. So, we're going to catch that next time. Uh, what else were we going to talk about? We were going to talk about huh? You're talking about your hamster, weren't you? Oh, my hamster got out. Flipping, I'll let you know what happened there. People with rodent-type pets, tune in next week because we'll discuss that. Um, and oh, I can't find my list. I've got that here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Hot in the night.

58:58 He did that. Half-term lockdown. Fun. Maybe we actually did that. Topless conversation. Seinfeld did that. Didn't do. the hamster didn't do the Ray didn't do the hamster good job um we do we did cover quite a bit Glenn we did cover off quite a bit with we we said a lot without saying anything at all and that's yeah sometimes to be it is this is the wrap-up it's perfect for a cookie whilst you're cooking it's good for a long drive it's good for uh mowing the lawn there we go No, you are really dadding it up there. You're mowing the fucking lawn. I know, but like, okay. Oh, no, I'll tell you what, it's good for trainers that I wear especially for mowing the lawn because I don't want to f up my other trainers.

59:42 So I'm fully dadded up in that regard. Okay, well, okay. If so, if you want the ying to that, the wrap-up is perfect for background sex music. If your lady will let you shag with the wrap-up in the background, let us know because we want to know all about it. We want to know all about it. Glenn, good to hang out, buddy. I loved it, as always. Yeah, so if you're listening, send us a review, subscribe on the podcast. If you're watching, like, share, get more people to the wrap-up. Be good. The numbers are going through the roof, but that's another subject. I'll see you on the other side.

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