Live the Life You Desire, Not One You Feel Stuck In

00:00 Living the life that you desire, not one you feel stuck in, men. This is this story of so many of us and it needs to end now. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen Show, Roll theme. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches, relationships and results they deserve. Get your high value man blueprint and join our community at highvalue manproject.com. Let's go. Hello men, welcome. It is good to have you here.

00:36 My name is Johnny Jensen. This is the Johnny Jensen Show. I'm the founder and creator of the High Value Man Project and it is my absolute pleasure to have you here for this reboot. Some of you will be picking this up after your phone pinged at you for the first time in a long time since we have rebranded from the Team Superdad program and show and everything that went on with Team Superdad. But it is great to have you here under the new guys. Yes, everything is now under a High Value Man project. It's still empowering dads across the world who want to lead both at home and for themselves and of course in their work.

01:17 This is about how we show up as the best version of ourselves, creating the life that we desire instead of one we feel stuck in. And that as we kick this off is really the core message of the High Value Man project. And it's the core message that so many men wrestle with and need to address. All the work that we do can be accessed at various levels from the complimentary group right through to the monthly accountability and the fire code and then the inner circle where we dive into everything that is the high value man project, all the 3XC formula for living, our fire

01:57 code accountability structure and of course our regular events, our get-togethers, which you are all a part of as we go on this journey. We'll talk about so much more of that. But in the realms of your fitness, of your focus, of enjoying your work, of having control over your money, of being the man that your family needs you to be, having a relationship that is on fire, both in terms of your communication, your passion and intimacy, and essentially the amount of fun that you have with each other, the amount of fun that you have with the kids, your friends,

02:34 your family, your relationship with your family, and not forgetting the importance of a strong network, the people around you in business, the mentors that you're learning from. These are the elements as I run through them there of a man's life that is working, a man's life where he's not dependent on one part of it or one person. You know, not stressing about work to the degree that his family life is in tatters, not having a terrible situation at home and his relationship so much so that he goes into work and is completely ineffective. Not at all, because this is when men show up broken, weak, insecure, anxious, using distraction tactics of gaming, porn, drugs, alcohol, even just lazing around on the bloody couch waiting for their misses to do everything.

03:28 So much of this is evidence that you are not living the life that you deserve, the life that you could truly create for yourself. And the shit that men get from far too many corners of the world is on all of us. And if you're listening to this, well, you're probably someone who's already pretty motivated and pretty driven and wants more for himself and his family. So you might say, well, yeah, Johnny, that's not my fault. But ultimately, whatever level we're at, there's another level for us to go to. And that's not always about striving and hustling and always trying to have more, but it is about continuously looking to enjoy and embrace the life that we're creating for ourselves and for our children.

04:13 Every chapter is a new chapter. Every experience that we have is gearing us up for the next day, for the man that we need to be to take on the next challenge. And that's exciting. That's the experience that we've been given on this earth to live. One of the things that I like to say to everybody is, you know, this little idea, this story, this parable, if you like, you know, that when we all die, you know, Christians will have it that we go up there and it's the pearly gates. And I never, I need to look this up. It's either St. Peter or St. Paul, right? And when you get there, you know, you're all lined up like

04:56 a bus station with your luggage, right? And you get to the front and you're expecting to. to run through all the wonderful things you've done in your life and and and and he just says uh and by the way they're all there buddha allah jesus like god like he's the big man you know he's he's he's the all woman right he's just sat there like okay you you all here you all here having a good time look at these idiots they've been bombing the out of each other for the last how many thousand years and we're just watching up here having a laugh at them so you get to the front right and and and the one question like the one question next next one question did you

05:31 have fun what well yeah like that was it like what there was there was you just did you enjoy it was it a good ride did you have fun well yeah but i i uh i had a business and i and i and i know i did loads and and and and well it wasn't really my fault my missus was was the bit you know like john belushi and the blues brothers my ducks didn't come back from the cleaners you know um no i don't give a about all that did you have fun you were given somewhere between zero and 70 80 years to enjoy it did you did you have fun did you go and make a difference did you like and that is it of all the trials and tribulations the ups and the downs the the one constant thing is are you enjoying it because we as humans have the ability to do that in particular we as men have the ability to do that that kind of gallows humor that that that that persevering through

06:28 you know like like scott and amidston at the antarctic you know like uh was it no he goes he goes i'm just stepping out for a while i may be sometime and that was it he was done he was like he just wandered off into the snow and died and like that's the kind of stiff upper lip like the banter you could imagine them them freezing their tits off virtually dying and there still would have been some banter because that is what we as men do if if this is ringing true with you then i invite you to come and be part of everything that we're doing simply go to highvalumanproject.com forward slash group that'll get you in at the ground level all the complimentary uh forums communities facebook groups whatever version of it is when you listen to this might be on school by now um

07:16 and if you're interested in actually leveling up and taking this on then go to highvalumanproject.com forward slash apply and that'll get you in there just get on the socials i'm always doing live events free events uh low ticket like sort of seven pound 17 pound things like this is about you taking control at the level that you're ready for right now and we've got you covered whatever that looks like um and then particularly as i stand here uh the truth is let me give you a little bit of insight i'm recording this so i can put it at the beginning of all the other episodes that i've already recorded so at the risk of time stamping this it's about to be the end of 2024 and we're heading into 2025 um there's about 15

08:03 maybe not that many about 10 episodes already pre-recorded so you can both finish this and go and take action and get on with your day or finish this and put the next episode on make sure that you like and subscribe to the podcast or if you're watching this on a youtube channel follow me hit that bell so you get all the alerts and of course a apple podcast review or spotify review are incredibly powerful in helping raise the profile of the johnny jensen show and spread the word to other men around the world you know when you tune in and start listening to this i'll talk a lot about

08:40 the things that i just listed really these different areas of our lives um uh in inside of the fire code and the and the and this and the and the habits and routines of a high value man lifestyle we look at focus that's the f in fire that's your mindset your fitness your sleep your diet everything about you because how you operate and the experience you have in life first and foremost starts with how well you're doing for yourself like who is the man in the mirror who's what's what's that body like that you're washing in the shower every day is it a fat gut that you're lifting up to to to scrub out the sweat underneath is it is it your fat ass that you can barely reach

09:20 around the back of you know can you put your socks on like can you shag for for half an hour without without being completely spent can you play football with your kids do you sleep right do you eat right like what's going on for you that you're showing up and this isn't about the fun police either right this is about you having a life of balance a life where you're thriving where you feel good when you stand up and give a presentation where you feel good when you're playing with your kids on the beach where you feel good when you get naked with the woman you love this is the essence of being yourself yourself and as well as that outer experience um

09:59 your mindset you know like what are you doing to continuously learn what what are you pumping yourself full of you know part of my story um from from breakup and breakdown at the end of my marriage three miscarriages the you know my brother's suicide um financial struggles both good and bad like at the end of that when i finally decided i can't stay in this relationship long enough the rebuild that i had to go through to put myself and my life back on track is fundamentally the foundations of all the work inside the high value man project and the reason that focus f yourself

10:39 comes first is i realized that all the effort i'd put into looking after everybody else had left me spent had left me burnt out you know the day you're searching google for am i burnt out the answer is most definitely yes because you've spent months thinking about it and worrying about it you are spent and in a state like that you can't be anything for others and we have this upside down we think that by being everything for everybody else we're going to be the man that we need to be we're going to create the life that we want for ourselves but it doesn't work like that you can't pour from an empty cup you have to be the shoulders upon which other people can stand on and to do that you have

11:19 to be strong i really really got this picture this metaphor in my mind when um when my when my brother died you know it was it was uh christmas 2014 and he didn't turn up to the family do and then sadly um some sort of 24 hours later um the news came from the police that that he'd taken his life at a train station and i that would have been tough for anybody to handle but on top of everything else that had come boom it was like a wave and

12:01 disappointingly um we broke up for the first time a couple of weeks after that and that's the point is that my and you know there's obviously a lot more to this than than than i'm going to share right now but but i do happily share it publicly with people it's that what would it have been like if i had handled and dealt with the stuff that had come before that the miscarriages and the business stress and we'd sorted our relationship out and you know i would likely have been in a better position to handle that tragic news as it was it was pretty much what led to everything changing

12:44 but inside of that rebuild that is where i really zoned in on what do i need to do for myself to get better and the focus part i'm banging on about this now but the focus part is about you looking after yourself what you're reading what you're watching what you're eating who you're hanging out with how much fun you're having where you know your fitness and your strength and your mindset so once you've got that bit sorted then you look at the impact area the eye in fire and now impact is money and business or work if that's you and community right like how much you're giving out to others now the reason it comes there is that you can't do anything for other people when you've got nothing to give

13:24 you got no time no money you know the things that we look for in our life particularly if we're people that have started business is that we want to make more money and we want to have more time freedom so when you're looking at how you show up as a man when you're fully in control of your body and your mind emotionally physically mentally then you're the best version of yourself you're ready to live the rest of your life then when your money's handled when you've got it under control and this isn't about being a millionaire or incredibly successful it's about having a clear path that's set for you there's nothing more debilitating than not having the money that you desire or need to support your life there's nothing more debilitating than repeatedly going and doing

14:04 work that you do not enjoy or running a business that you've fallen out of love with the definition of fulfillment is having a clear goal of where you want to get to and knowing that you're actively pursuing it the absence of either of those will rip a man's soul out because if you're working day in day out and it's taking you nowhere near where you want to get to well then you can't be fulfilled and if you've got a clear goal um uh sorry and if you don't even have a clear goal then how do you know where you want to where you want to end up right so having a clear goal and knowing you're working towards it is where you get fulfillment from stressing about money is pretty pointless of course money is a stress but why would you let it get to a place where it's causing friction in your relationship?

14:51 It's causing you mental health issues. Money is just to be managed. You've either got enough or you haven't got enough. Are you in control of it? Are you managing your finances? Are you spending sensibly? Are you learning more? Are you creating more opportunities to make money? Are you meeting people? Are you exploring? Is your mind in a creative space where it can come up with new ideas to solutions, where your confidence is such that you could land a new project or land a new role or meet investors? Like you can't do that if you're broken. You have to be on top form. So the next part of the fire code is relationships. Relationships, the degree to which you feel loved, connected, and supported by those around you.

15:35 And if you make that all about one person, all about your relationship, you know, the lone wolf will do this. The man that thinks he can handle it all on his own, like don't ask for help. Well, guess what? He'll probably then put a lot of too much attention onto his missus because he's not got the people around him where he can vent or ask for help or get encouragement. Your relationship with your partner, constantly reinventing that, supporting each other, having a good time, maintaining intimacy. Your relationship with your children, your communication, the quality time that you spend, the amount of fun you have, the degree of respect and responsibility that flows back and forth between you.

16:18 Letting them know that you're there for them, that you've got their back, that they can have the freedom and confidence to fail and fail again, knowing that where they're going to end up is the promised land. That's what being a kid is about. And then your friends and family, how much like time are you spending with how much fun? How much opportunities to laugh and love and hug and the idea that men don't talk is utter bollocks. Like when men don't talk is when they've got no one to talk to, when they've shut off their life, that there's no one around them. You know, you create the space for men to spend time together to get out of their norm, to go and do something. Then likelihood is particularly if it's managed, like a men's group or like the high value man project, where there's that

17:04 structure to both have a laugh, to do crazy things, to have some banter and take the piss, and then to say, is everyone okay? Does anyone need anything to ask twice when they say I'm fine? You say, yeah, are you really fine? That's support. And then your mentors and network, you know, if you're not learning, if you're the smartest man in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room. If you're in a room full of shitheads, you're definitely in the wrong room. Like if you've got no one you can bounce off, no one who can refer people to you. You can send clients to them. Then what's the point of that? Like, like we spend a lot of our life working. It should be brilliant. You know, the whole idea of work-life balance.

17:45 What if you're just doing stuff you enjoy? You get up, you do it, you come home to your missus, you enjoy it. Like this is perhaps, oh, yeah, it's okay for you to say, hell, that's not that's not realistic. It bloody is what one man can do, any man can do. It's just that you haven't learned how. And by the way, that doesn't mean go and try and do things that you're not good at. You know, don't judge a goldfish by its ability to climb a tree. And then finally, the amount of energy you've got in your life, the E in the fire code, the amount of fun, adventure, and peace that you're having. Because what's the point of this whole life? Like I said, when you die, you get asked that one question.

18:30 What's the point of this whole experience if you're not having fun, if you're not enjoying it? And the businessman that's got the money, got the thriving company that's going to be acquired, there's going to be an acquisition and a shitload of money coming his way. And then he turns around, ready to celebrate it and he realizes his friends are long gone and there's only just hangers on. His family are like, well, we never see him. So what's the point? Your missus divorced you ages ago and your kids. Great if you can send them some money. But apart from that, like that is not a win. Success without happiness is not success. You can be happy without success, but I don't believe you can be truly successful without happiness.

19:11 And that is the essence of creating the life that you desire, not one you feel stuck in. And each part breaks down into smaller elements and practices. You know, if we're going to talk about fitness, then it's about, well, what can you do on a daily basis to do some press-ups, to go for a run? Could you enter an event? Like, that's a whole subject in itself. In your relationship, what's it take to get over a divorce? What's it take to stop a divorce happening? What's communication look like? What does intimacy, how do you keep your sex life thriving? These are all individual subjects, planning for fun. You know, the number of people who don't actually. actually plan for fun and then tell me that they're bored and frustrated. It's like, well, what have you got planned? You bought any tickets to an event? I haven't got any money. Okay, fine. Are you going to go and see an old friend? Are you having friends around for dinner?

19:57 So much goes on in the space of life and being a man that is not set up for you to thrive. And then we get left with the experience of, oh, my life, I'm stuck. You know, pretending on the outside to be all happy and successful, but on the inside, struggling, exhausted, frustrated. And these kind of words, when we talk about like, well, what is a high-value man? Why is it called the high-value man project? Well, the essence of why it's called the high-value man project is because of the low-value ways of living that so many of us put up with and go through and struggle with.

20:38 Low value existence around our health, around our mindset, around our habits and the ways that we don't listen or the ways that we lose our temper. Like if you're experiencing any of those things, boredom, frustration, resentment, lonely, angry, burnt out, and sad, like stressed out, worried about money, like you can see, you pick them yourself. They're all around us. They're the experience of so many men's lives. And then it grinds us down. We go to a party and we're like, oh, well, yeah, how's it going? Well, not very well. Or what you do see quite often is that we go and have a complete blowout.

21:20 And then you're like, you're absolutely hammered thinking that's going to make things better, but you're going to wake up the next day. And it really isn't. Or the classic one, go and have a nice holiday. Great, if you're fundamentally happy, but to paper over the cracks, to put icing over a, you know, a mud pie, you're just going to come back with a sunburn and a credit card bill. Probably more resentful as well. There's a whole subject, a whole podcast episode in that in itself. So this, the antidote, the complete, what do they call it? I think that's the opposite of something. Anyway, the antidote, the complete opposite of that low value life is a high value man way of living.

22:05 It's about creating a life where you have clarity and focus. It's about then having the courage to recognize what's holding you back or conversations that you haven't said, things that are having you show up as a version of yourself that isn't really you. There's nothing worse than that. That's having the courage to make the choices, have the conversations and to really show up as your true self. And then the commitment, like what's it going to take to deliver on that vision that you, that you, that clarity that you found? What's it going to take on a day-to-day basis to go through the fire code, looking after yourself, managing your money, being with the people around you and then having a shitload of fun?

22:50 That's the commitment to do that on a consistent basis to create that high value man way of living, to create that experience of the life you desire. Because that's when we show up best in our relationships. That's when our wife falls in love with us again. That's when our kids want to hang out with us and have a, you know, can laugh with us and can't wait to see us again or are happy to sit with them and their mates and have a beer when they're 17. That's the kind of relationship that you've been creating from the beginning. You can't just click your fingers and expect it to happen. These, you know, your money, you know, basically all of it,

23:31 it doesn't happen by chance, but it does happen when you commit to a process. It does happen when you put the right people around you, a degree of accountability and structure where you're living for yourself so that you can be more for everybody else. It doesn't work the other way around. And that's why so many men struggle. That is what we will be talking about. That's what we'll be covering in all the episodes like this, where it's just me, where we get other people in to talk about subjects from everything from relationships to fitness to men's fashion to supplements to challenging topics like domestic abuse, like getting through a divorce, like what am I going to do?

24:15 What's going to happen if we break up? Like all these subjects you can handle. You can create the life that you desire. Get out of the life that you feel stuck in. Because our mission, when you look at male suicide, when you look at divorce rates, you look at the impact of fatherless homes on children. That's the underlying mission. For men to show up in this world like we are. we are supposed to so that when you get into bed at night you feel like you've won the day you feel like you're the man you're supposed to be so so powerful so important it's so missing if any of this sounds like something you want to get involved with then like i said get yourself over to

24:58 thehighvalumanproject.com either forward slash group or forward slash apply depending on what you want to get out of all this be sure to like and subscribe if you're watching then it's great to have stood here with you if you're listening then whatever you're up to whether you're in the gym whether you're in the car uh flick on to the next episode leave us a review on uh on apple podcasts or uh or on spotify spread the word high value man project we are here to absolutely win the day for you and your family let's go thanks for tuning in to the johnny jensen show be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with fellow dads creating the life you deserve starts with you get your high value man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvalumanproject.com let's go