Knowing Your Why Is Vital To Your Success

00:02 Welcome to the weekend, Team Super Dad. What is your why? If you're looking for motivation to make something happen to achieve that goal, then it is your why that you need to look at and nothing else. Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Welcome. Hello, all the dads out there and some mums as well.

00:44 It's good to have you on board. The weekend of six. We are on a mission to do this every single week of 2023. So episode six, season four. If you've been here from the start, thanks so much. You might be watching on LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube, all the socials. If you are, you can comment and join in. And if you're on the replay, then let us know. Drop a comment, say replay, say hi, whatever it takes. And of course, to our podcast, the original crew, the podcast team, it's great to have you on board.

01:21 Don't forget to leave a review and share this. Share this with someone you feel needs to hear this message, the Team Super Dad message. We are modern, motivated dads, creating the life we want, not the life that we feel stuck in. So success at home and work, clarity and confidence. We're fit and healthy. We're having fun with our kids, making great time and energy for our partner or finding a new one if you're separated. It really is about creating a life that you want rather than just going through the motions and feeling stuck and fed up in it. It is amazing literally how many, how many men, dad

02:05 courses, programs, messages, even some of the big dudes now. Darren Hardy, just this week, I got an email off of him talking all about this waking and awakening. Some of it I don't really like. It's all a little bit too, he said, oh, we're not doing a good enough job. We're falling short. And maybe if you're talking to the masses, if you're talking to all men at once, then perhaps there is a percentage, too big a percentage of men who are still sat on their ass expecting the world to happen for them. I've been to work. I've done my bit. And maybe if you're still out there, then you're probably not watching this.

02:48 But if you know a man like that, then give him a slap around the head. Can you do that? I don't know. More good old days. You know, I don't mean like beating people up, but sometimes, sometimes there was something simple about a lightweight rumble to solve a problem, to put someone back in their place, to stop a bully. Perhaps we need a little bit more of that in this world that we live in. So today's conversation is about the why, the why. Last week, we talked about the vision, having a clear direction to where you're headed and

03:30 making that happen, like the power of making that happen as part of your mental thought processes, of having a clear direction of the universe, God, if that's your persuasion. Like when you're really clear and connected with where you want to get to, then the forces around you, the power that emanates from you is going to start to actually make that more likely to happen than not. And if you don't believe that, then simply jump in your car and start driving without any direction and expect to get somewhere where you intended from the start. It just doesn't happen. But, and thanks to all the people that asked questions this week, sent me on comments, on DMs, emails.

04:14 It's been awesome. If you're part of the Team Super Dad group, then thanks for the conversation. If you're not, then get on over to there. If you go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group, you can join the free Super Dad Club and start to be part of this powerful community. But the question was really, and I guess perfect timing. We're into February. Most people's January, whatever they're called, resolutions are long gone. So the question was really about how do you make it? How do you make it happen? How do you make it stick? How do you keep your laptop from running out of power is a question as well. Probably plug it in.

04:54 It's a good idea. But yeah, how do you make something stick beyond just that original? original thought of I'd like to lose some weight or I'd like to make more money? I'd like to get a girlfriend. Like, where does the commitment and motivation come when it's cold and wet and you don't want to go out running when there's another call to be made, another sales call, another prospect to follow up? You know, what happens when the rejection, the feel, the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the experience of it going wrong 10 times. So it stops you doing something for the 11th, 12th, 20th, 100th time.

05:36 It's about your why. Sounds ridiculously simple, and it kind of is. But it's not just like why, why? Because I want more money. Like, that's not, that's not going to be enough, right? The why has got to be much more heart-centered than that. And the example I often give, in fact, probably the most common example, the personal example I give, is around my fitness. Like anybody, fitness is not something that comes natural. It's not something you wake up and really want to do every day. Now, for someone who's exercised and has been as fit and healthy for as long as I have, I do find it easier than most.

06:16 But there was a real breakthrough in my fitness because what I used to do was enter an event, get really fit for the event, do the event, then do nothing for six months, then feel utterly crap and guilty about the whole thing, enter another event, and then start the whole process over again. If you're tuning in just now, welcome. You can feel free to comment or say hello. Just let me know who, where are you? Where are you? What's happening? So I would enter the event, get fit, feel great for finishing, look good, yay, medal, and then do nothing for six months. Feel crap and do it all again. But of course, each time you did it again, it felt harder and harder to start again.

06:59 And also, there was a plateau. There was never a level above what getting really fit for six months would be like. So I never really felt the full reward for my efforts, which is flipping stupid. You know, imagine, imagine digging a hole, getting it half done, and then someone filling it back up, and then you're having to start again. And it's the same thing happening over and over again. It would be bloody exhausting. And the idea that you could, that would be enough to push you through is ridiculous. So you've got to go back to the why. Why do you really want this? So when you start to look at your why, you will see that, like, why do I want to get fit?

07:40 Oh, because I want to look good. Or, oh, because I want to do well in the race. Okay, that's that's great. But it's not enough. It wasn't enough for me. Same as, same as in a similar vein, if you wanted to lose weight. I want to lose weight because, oh, because I want to be thin, right? Because I want to be more attractive. If it was as simple as that, then there wouldn't be any overweight people or there wouldn't be any unfit people. So your why is something that's bigger than you. It's likely beyond you. It's likely something that's going to impact your children, your family, your loved ones. You know, it's something that's, you know, for many people, when their why for

08:26 something they're deeply passionate about takes them even further in the world, in their life, is because their why is about suddenly the wider community. It's about every child who's lost a parent to cancer. It's about every person that's been abused. It's about racial equality on a global scale. It's like it's something that's bigger than them, right? And so Team Superdad is: I want to transform the experience for men so that they show up as a better dad, so that their family stays together, so that their children and partners have solid foundations upon which to thrive.

09:07 And so that we create happy, loving family units. Like that's way bigger than I want to just make some money or I want to just help a few dads feel better about themselves. It's a why that gets you up out of bed when you can't be asked. It's a why that has you keep going when times are tricky. So have a look at your whys. You know, when we just at the beginning of the year for Team Superdad clients, people who are in that in the Hero Academy, we went through a process of not just setting goals, but actually asking what is the why behind that goal? Why do you want that? Okay, I want it because I want money. Okay, why do you want that? Oh, because if I've got money, I'll be able to do more stuff.

09:52 Okay, well, yeah, obviously I'll be able to have a nicer car. well, why do you want to have a nicer car? You keep asking why until you start to dig down into a deeper connection. And quite often, for a conscientious dad who cares about his family and the people around him, you'll start to get to the level of, and I did this with my fitness, this is where the breakthrough came. It was my why for getting fit was so that I would feel better. You know, I'd feel more clear-headed, I'd feel more, I'd feel stronger, fresher, I'd have more energy so that I would be more effective in my work. And why was that important? Because when I'm more effective in my work, I'm more, I'm getting more results, I'm making more money.

10:36 I'm making, and why is that important? Because I'm able to spend that on my children. So, my fitness is actually about my success in work and about the good times, the fun times, the magical memories that I can create with my children. So, for me, outside of the goals and motivations, the whys for my work, everything I do comes back to what that means for me and my me and my kids, like the experiences that we can have, the places that we can go, the things that we can do, the people that we can see, our families in Chicago and our families in France.

11:15 Like, my health and fitness is intrinsically linked to how often we can see them. And so, you start to create a why that is bigger, stronger, harder than just, oh, I want to lose weight. So, it's not enough. If it was enough, you wouldn't have put on the weight. And of course, there's versions of that. You know, if you're getting married, then all of a sudden, because I want to wear, if it's a classic one for women, drop a dress size or fit into that wedding, wedding dress. That's enough to get them fit and healthy for the period leading up to their wedding. But you'll see as that as an example, is that when the wedding day happens, suddenly, where's the motivation?

11:59 Where's the why gone now? Okay, so have a look at your whys. If you did the vision board last week, now go back at it and look at, well, why'd you want that? What will that give you? And why'd you want that? And what will that give you? And why'd you want that? Any questions? You can ask, you can ask, drop it in the comments. Come on over to the Team Super Dad group. You can talk about that. Why and the vision board are all part of purpose. Purpose is the methodology with inside all the Team Superdad and the Hero Academy work. Methodology is called the power code. Purpose, ownership, do the work, engage, engage with people in your world, and then reward.

12:41 How much fun are you having? How are you celebrating your results? What is the positive experience of everything you're doing? As my dad always said to me when I was growing up, not just growing up, he said it a couple of years ago when I was getting divorced. The problem is, son, I'm just not sure you're having enough fun. And when all is said and done, when all this effort, the energy to create success at home, to create success in your business, to be fit and healthy so that you live long, when all is said and done, the reason for all this should be

13:20 to have a shitload of fun, to have a greater experience for this time that we're in this body, that we're on this planet. Because otherwise, what was the point of it? To go through the day-to-day and suffer, to feel bad about not achieving something, to not seeing something through. Oh, I know what I was going to say. There's a part of this why subject, which really links neatly back into a study I read about years ago, and I had to search it up for this for this. There was a study, like a behavioral science study.

14:03 It's called the Copy Machine Experiment. And it's like this, the experiment was headed up by Dr. Langer. And if you watch the video, and it goes back to, I think, the 50s or the 40s, he wouldn't have had photocopies in the 1940s. But in America, they would line people up for the photocopier. It's all videoed, like a hidden camera. And then someone would come up to the queue, to the line, and then just like jump the queue, like push in. Now, when the person came to the queue and just jumped in and said, oh, can I jump the queue? There was resistance. There was an issue about it. But when they added the word because,

14:47 it suddenly justified it and people let me. let them in the queue with no questions. Now, here's the real kicker, and this is why your why tricks your brain and actually works, is that the because, can I jump the queue and make a couple of copies because I've got a meeting that starts in a couple of minutes or because the MD just sent me down and he really needs this urgently. That sounds like a valid because. And no wonder they let them jump the queue. But then they went on and they made the because absolutely ridiculous, absurd. The because was like it was nonsense. But the person was still happy to let them in when they used the word because and they justified it.

15:30 And so that little hack is why the why matters. Okay, you give your brain the hack. There's a reason for it that's bigger than you. And what was I going to say about that? Oh, yeah. So the resilience that comes from that. And here's what's really powerful. And here's why I see in the work we do with my dads in Team Superdad is that if you're, if you haven't done this for a while, if you find sticking to tasks or seeing things through tricky, it's because you haven't practiced with this why muscle, this building up this strength.

16:11 And it really does, for me, end up being around your resilience. So that when you've got strong whys around key things in your life, then you'll find that any kind of why is enough for little stuff. So as a strange example, I regularly give things up, not because I'm trying to be some Zen super dude or, you know, physical freak, life hack guru, but just because I like the challenge.

16:46 So in January, I gave up coffee or I gave up caffeine, still drank decaf actually. I gave up caffeine simply because I knew I'd been drinking too much coffee in November and December and it would be better to stop like hunting down coffee. Then I'm thinking about my weight and how much bread I've been scoffing. So in February, I've given up bread, which by the by, by the way, I actually failed on this week when we went for pizza and then I had beans on toast the next day because it was like, okay, that's out the window. We'll reboot and go again. But some people, myself included, the first time I gave things up like that, I found it really, really hard because I hadn't built the muscle.

17:30 I didn't have the resilience, the inner strength to do those things. So when you play with your why around things that really matter, you'll start to find that you've got greater power over smaller things as well. And that is when you will know yourself as someone who does what he says he'll do. When other people will know you as someone who says you do what you'll do, someone who will do what they say they will do. It's about resilience. It's about making stuff happen. And that's why your why is the most important thing. Thanks for tuning in. It's the weekend. Tottenham are about to kick off half an hour, which is quite exciting. Let's hope we win. Super Bowl tonight. Who am I going for?

18:14 I think I'm going for the Eagles. I don't really support either team, but I do like NFL, Chicago Bears. Come on. Next season, next season. Whatever you're doing the rest of the day. Oh, my girlfriend is coming over tonight. So we've got some quality time there. Make sure that you make time for yourself, that you make time for the people that matter to you most. Carve out clear areas where you're working, not working, playing, not playing. And in particular, for your children, do the same. This is Team Superdad. I look forward to seeing you in the group. And if you've got any questions, drop them in the comments. Until next week, Team Super Dad out.

19:00 This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at TeamSuperdad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.