It Is Time To Show Up In Your Life

00:00 We keep telling ourselves we'll do it later or we sigh that there isn't enough time. The reality though, time doesn't give refunds. So what would it take to do it all on purpose this week? If you've been drifting, hiding behind busy or waiting for motivation to turn up before you do, this one's for you. Rolfy. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches, relationships, and results they deserve. Get your high value man blueprint and join our community at highvalumanproject.com.

00:41 Let's go. Hello, men. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen show. My name is Johnny Jensen. It is great to have you here back for another episode. Today, we're talking about showing up. The idea, the reality that we as men have so many instances, so many places, so many things, times, opportunities to show up each week. Some of them are mandatory. Some of them are our choice. Some of them are nice things we would love to do, but can't. Some of them are the shit things that we really can't get out of. So what does it take for you to show up for yourself so that you can create the life that you desire, so that you can be the man and dad you want to be for all those people in your life?

01:26 There is no replacement for you. So in pure essence, you've got to decide where you show up and what, importantly, what you have to do, what you have to put in place for you to be able to show up. Because it might be right. It might be that you don't have the ability to leave your work. You don't have the capacity to drop something. So then the question comes, rather than being stuck in that thought, the question comes, what would it take to be able to do that? What are you creating so that instead of being frustrated and about not showing up, so that you feel excited about the possibility of it coming down the line?

02:52 Team terms and conditions are nowhere because it's not. I'm tattooed on my ass. There we go. That's a small print. So what do we do? We're here. We are creating better lives for dads, for business owning and career-minded dads. We're helping you, equipping you to create the same success at home as you're perhaps striving for at work. And that is absolutely vital because without that balance, without that harmony across our life, then you can be sure that the wheels are going to come off. If you're working too hard at work, your family life is going to struggle. If your family life is struggling, your relationships

03:32 difficult, then your effectiveness at work is going to struggle. And that eats men up from the inside out. The difference is when we master who we are, how we show up, and we chase the dreams, then that starts to create the high-value man life desire. That means we show up as the man and dad we want to be. That for me, through all my experience myself personally, of observing the men I grew up around, my dad, and through all the hundreds of men I've worked with, it's not that we don't know what to do. It's not that we're, you know, scratching our heads, wishing, you know, a miracle would come along.

04:14 The pain is that we know what we want, but it's not happening. We've lost our voice. We've lost our energy. And that's what the high value man project is about. If you go to highvalumanproject.com forward slash group, that will get you in our base camp level with a load of free resources. And if you go to highvalumanproject.com forward slash power call, then you can book a power call with me. That's an introduction. That's an opportunity to discuss the challenges and goals in your life and build a blueprint based on the high value man principles around making a difference, around winning in those areas. So showing up. I've been networking this week. I don't really like networking. I don't know if you go networking. Is it essential? I don't know.

04:56 I think if you're trying to raise a profile in your local local community, community, for me, that would be, you know, Kent and London or the southeast of England. Then it is kind of essential, you know, to be the person that when someone says, Oh, I really feel like I'm, you know, struggling a bit here. I need to work out how and I'm not, I feel like if I don't do something, the wheels are going to come off at home. You should speak to Johnny Jensen and talk about the high value man project. If you're not top of mind for people, then how are they going to do that? But showing up isn't, you know, it's not one dimensional. There's ways, there's opportunities, there's needs for us to show up across our lives in our work for our family, for ourselves, for our friends.

05:38 I was on a podcast, no, not a podcast. I was on a webinar this week with Daniel Priestley, awesome guy, runs Dent, the organization, founder of the Keepers of Influence program. He was talking about his videos. He's absolutely blowing up on YouTube at the moment. And he was talking about authenticity. And bear with me because this links into showing up, right? So he's talking about, he was taking questions from people who were like, how do I show up on videos every day authentically? Or it's not authentic to show up on every day. And he said, that's bollocks.

06:16 You think I want to do this every day? You think that, you know, that there isn't a day when I would much rather just play with my kids. And he does, right? That was part of the part of the webinar I was talking about, how he's got balance in his life. But the showing up part, building his profile across YouTube and LinkedIn is down to him showing up. And he said, like, from an authenticity point of view, he doesn't really want to do it every day, but he does because that's how he gets the results. So there we are networking, showing up and raising our profile, getting known. There we are on social media, raising our profile and getting known. And what it takes to push through those moments is so much

06:57 reasoning, excuses, technical problems, lack of knowledge. You know, we quite often get put under an easy umbrella of lack of time. But if you scratch beneath the surface, you may find that it's not really a lack of time that you've got going on. It's some other concern, some other insecurity or doubt. So what is it? And then what's it going to take to push through that? There's no magic wand. You can't click your fingers, right? It comes through a consistent level of behavior over a consistent amount of time. If you do that, you can't fail to have exponential growth. You can't be bad at something and do it, work at it a number of times and get worse.

07:42 That's almost impossible. I can't think of any scenario where you could try something, try it again, keep trying, and somehow you got worse. That's just not how the human machine is built. And if you can think of one, please, please drop me a, don't drop me a tweet. I never read my, I never read it. Does anyone go on Twitter these days? I can't, I can't get my head around it, but you can message me on LinkedIn or flipping, call me, numbers all over the socials. Drop me a line. Tell me what, when you do it regularly, do you get worse at? Like a riddle. Oh, now I've lost my train of thought. I've taken myself on a right tangent.

08:23 Yeah, so you've got to have a scratch beneath the surface and look at what's really going on. Look at what's holding you back or the procrastination in that area. And when we talk about high-value man, showing up is a fundamental part of the process because you've got to show up for yourself first and foremost. You've got to show up in a way that has you be strong mentally, physically, emotionally, because that's how you become the better version of yourself. That's how you're able to find the resilience, to find the time to manage the team, to work out how to use AI to be more efficient. That's how you break through to showing up. The amount of knowledge you have in particular areas. I've been watching videos on AI.

09:09 It blows my mind. I was at networking event, different networking event, too, this week. There we go. Definitely showing up. There was a question on one of the tables, which was, how do you see AI improving your business? The number of people that answered, I don't really think it will. You're screwed. You're doomed. Again, there are going to be examples. But even if you talk to ChatGPT and you pay and you got it on the level five and you're actually using it to its most powerful level and you say, I've got a traditional business. I'm pretty sure from my perspective, I can't think of ways in which AI is going to help me improve my business.

09:46 Guess what? You then ask AI, can you think of any ways that my business could improve with the use of the latest technology? technology, the latest AI systems and protocols. Ah, because the level of knowledge you have about something isn't enough. What got you here today isn't enough to get you where you want to go tomorrow. And now we've got this flipping rocket machine that can propel us farther forward than you ever could have imagined. You can't learn as much knowledge as AI has and it's at your fingertips now. So that's another way of showing up, you know, in this area of working on yourself. Fitness kind of speaks for itself in terms of what that means. But the reasons why people don't get fit, that's about showing up.

10:31 Oh, I don't really like it. Oh, it's a bit boring. Oh, I mean, the excuses about not being fit are just so boring, so overused and undertested. Being overweight and out of shape cannot feel as good as being physically fit, being able to get out of bed and have more energy, being able to get naked and have good sex. There can't be a scenario where you're like, actually, being really fat, overweight, exhausted is brilliant. Again, you might have an example, but I don't think there is. And certainly, if you're looking to create a high value life, an existence where you have it all, where you're winning, then you're going to have to look at how the machine that you live inside is functioning.

11:26 You know, I was got to be careful not to mention, you know, talk about things I haven't spoken about before, but I'm pretty sure I haven't tuned done a podcast episode since last Saturday when Joe and I went to an awesome party, like a house is a feeling summer session. Two and a half thousand people, loads of pretty much 90s house music, but some of them were 90s house music DJs playing, you know, up-to-date music. That makes me sound old, right? But playing new tunes, right? It was bloody brilliant. We danced for like six and a half hours, 47,000 steps in total, 40,000.

12:08 Like back in the day, you're like, oh, where are you from? What you had? But no, like now it's, oh, what's your name? How many steps you done? So yeah, in total across the day, 47,000. Point being though, you can't do that if your body isn't equipped to dance for that long. There were people there who definitely didn't have it in them to dance that long. And I'm sure they had a good time. But Joe and I absolutely rinsed it for all it was worth. Now, when you are showing up for yourself like that, guess what? The people around you love it. The people around you are interested in you. You are magnetic. You're the guy in the room that looks good. And that isn't,

12:55 what's the word? Ah, can't think. That's not like having tickets on yourself. It's not arrogant. Not like, oh, yeah, I'm the coolest in the room. No, it's about feeling in your own skin that you're there and you're looking great. Joe and I had, we're taking pictures and stuff at the event and we look good. We're both 51 years old. We're both fit. And in those photos, we looked great. I want that for you. And you might say, it doesn't matter. And that's fine. But at some point, when you get that stark reminder, like maybe it did matter. And whether it's a health scare or not, do you have the sex life that you want? Yes, I do. Okay, brilliant. Well, you can't tell me that your wife wouldn't prefer you to look a bit fitter, a little bit stronger, a little bit slimmer.

13:39 Okay, so enough on focus. But to add to that, showing up in what you're reading, showing up in what you're eating, sleeping, literally the machine that you operate. Now, showing up in work, one of the things for me, and I guess I've touched on this already in the AI subject, but one of the areas showing up at work in your business or in your leadership is about your level of knowledge. It's about knowing and understanding exactly what the latest opportunities and ideas are so that you're at the forefront of the conversation. It takes something to watch videos on YouTube about a new thing. It takes something to go into a chat GPT or similar and actually challenge the way your business runs and look for new opportunities and look for new technologies, new systems to be better than your competitors.

14:30 It takes showing up. If you don't show up, if you just rest on your laurels and go through the process and do what you normally do or check the sales reports, do your meetings, like, is everybody working okay? Yeah, we are. Okay, ups and downs. I will deal with it. That's not showing up. That's going through the motions. Showing up is in your. leadership structure and making time. This is where the lines start to blur and one area supports another. If you are in your business, the sole point of contact for really all problems, then you haven't created a structure whereby you've got other individuals who are shouldering responsibility and reporting into you.

15:12 Now, instead of looking after 50, 100, however many people, you're looking after two people. And as long as you pick the right two people there, showing up, how'd you pick good people? Then you've got a control over your business. You've got a control over your time that enables you to show up in other ways. So it sounds like hard work, but it isn't. It's hard work, if we're going to be so bold to call it that. It's work, right? It doesn't need to be necessarily hard work. It's work to put it in place. It's work to create that routine. It's work to build the muscle. It's work to hire the team and nurture them. But then the result comes. That is the result of showing up. I've got teenage kids and getting this through to them. It's really difficult.

15:55 It's easier to keep up than it is to catch up, I tell them. And that's because at their level, I don't need them to be performing at the highest possible level. I don't want to put that pressure on them. I want them to show up so that everything's handled so that when it gets to GCSEs next year for my boy, everything's taken care of. He's not trying to cram it all into one, you know, one month. He's not busy doing homework when he'd rather be scoring goals for the academy team that he's worked so hard to get into. He showed up to get into that team. But now what he's got to do is show up so he can be the player he wants to be in that team. So he can be the top scorer in the team, let alone the league, which there is a potential to do if he shows up in those other areas.

16:39 And you've got to look at how this relates to you. Where are you not showing up? By the way, just to reiterate, that doesn't mean I'm showing up. I'm there 10 hours a day. I'm showing up. Well, no, you haven't shown up there in a way as a leader who's got it all nailed. George McGuerin, a cool dude from America, if you look back at way back, three years maybe into the podcast, he was on the show and he shared this with me. He's like, one of his big things is, I work like four hours a week. And it sounds like American nonsense, right? But George isn't about nonsense. That's what he's created. He's built these successful businesses.

17:19 He's put the team in place. He's worked out how the machine needs to operate so that he can have the money, have the success and maintain the family lifestyle that he wants. He showed up. He made it work. And if you don't show up in work and handle that, then you won't be able to show up for your family and the relationships that matter to you most. Showing up for people in your life is absolutely vital. Having them know that you're available, that they're important. And when you're getting into the realms of relationships and showing up, it's an always evolving thing. And it probably is in all these areas, right? But when you're thinking about other people who are really close to you and what they need from you, it's different than

18:01 it's different. As Joe said to me last week, like, I just need when I'm with you, when we've gone and booked tickets and we're doing something together, I just want to feel like I've got all of you. She was talking about my kids ringing me and asking me for money in the middle of a party. I'm like, they're my kids. She's like, yeah, but why now? Why not this morning or why not tomorrow morning? It wasn't an emergency and they knew and they're not little kids anymore. And so that's teaching them about showing up. Are they showing up for me? Now, sticking with kids, I made it really important for me when they were little, when they were at primary school in America.

18:39 I think they call it junior school, I think, to be there, to be there for those shows, for the morning assemblies, for the sports days. It took something. And I was fortunate enough to be my own boss, to be managing my own time to be able to show up. I remember, I think we all remember back to that time of standing on the touchline. Standing on the pitch, looking to the touchline. Is my dad there? And when he was, the feeling was flipping awesome. And I, it's not just that I wanted that for my kids, like, oh, that's nice, my dad's there. But I wanted to instill in them the idea, the knowledge that I've got your back, that I'm here.

19:19 And for me, when you're able to do that, and I realize not all guys can, right? So I'm not criticizing you if you've got a job, if you're working hard, if you're not in a position to do that. I'm not criticizing you in any way. But it might mean that you have to double your efforts in other ways so that they know you've got your back. Or what's it going to take for you to go to your boss and say, look, I need to make sure that I'm. at a certain number of my kids' school events for the next few years, just whilst they're little. By the time you get to secondary school, the secondary schools don't even really let you go to these things anyway, or they're in the evening. So you're going to have to show up, not just at the event, but you show up for yourself at your, if you work for someone else, at their desk.

20:03 If it's your team, you show up by organizing your day so that you can turn up at half 10, leave at half two. What's it going to take? That is showing up. Those awkward conversations, the awkward conversations that you need to have there with people and the responsibility that you need to take on and the commitments that you need to make to be able to say, I'm going to be late and you're not going to see me tomorrow, but I will be doing this afterwards. And that crosses over into our relationships with our significant others, with our wives, with our partners. How are you showing up for those people? What does it look like for them when you're constantly on your phone or when you're constantly distracted by something else or when you get home and you go off and do random shit?

20:47 Get your laptop out. Go and play Xbox. It blows my mind that there are men out there who go who get home and go and play Xbox. Surely, surely your relationship matters to you more than that. And if it doesn't, if the relationship isn't good enough, like what's going on? And if she says it's fine, okay, fair dues. Again, if it works for you, I'm not here to criticize. But I want to hang out with my kids. I want to hang out with my girlfriend. You know, they're the relationships that matter to me. And I want to hang out with friends. Showing up for my social life, having people know that they're on my mind, that I've called them, that I'm interested, that I want to see them, that I'm sharing links to parties we're going to.

21:31 No one ever bloody comes, and maybe they don't like me. Don't message me if that's the case. I'll live in blissful ignorance on that one. Thanks very much. But, you know, just because we're going out and we're going to these parties and these events, it doesn't mean that I'm not going to let my friends know and invite them. And if I don't come, I'll make new friendships. That's the point. I'm out. I'm meeting people. I'm having a laugh. I'm lit up. I'm energized. I've got money. Like, we're showing up so that we're creating the life that we desire. And then that's the final part is the amount of fun and adventure you're having in your life and you're showing up for yourself in a way that you're maximizing this opportunity on earth on this rock.

22:13 That we've got these 60 if you're unlucky, you know, 80 if you're lucky years to really squeeze the juice out of life. Read a great book. In fact, I've read loads of books in the last couple of weeks, summer holidays and long drives and things like that. The expectation effect, talking about what happens to people who are old and expect the end of their life to be this kind of downward spiral, no, spiral is a bit strong, this downward slide into old age, boredom, illness, death. Like many people in old age have that thought about this is what it's going to mean. And then you've got this other group of people who are looking forward to retirement.

22:58 They're healthy, they're energized, they've got plans, they're excited about the time ahead. They're not fearful about getting ill. If we do, we do. If we don't, we don't. We'll deal with it. The expectation of we're going to be okay. The expectation of it's going to be fun. Now, if you live like that, if you have that expectation, then you are far more likely to encounter it. Whether it's God, the universe, law of attraction, which is basically quantum mechanics, like who you are is energy. And if your energy is positive and fun and filled with positive expectation, then what you're going to do is attract more of that to you.

23:39 That is showing up. Booking tickets, planning weekends away, having people over for dinner. When I see men in groups, Facebook groups and whatnot, talking about how bored they are, how anxious they are, how depressed they are, how they can't cope. And then people go and rub their backs and tell them it's going to be okay. And they say, yeah, but the reality is that they weren't interested in the solution. They weren't interested in showing up. They were interested in how they felt about what they thought they were stuck in. Just sitting there, looking at, running their hands through the shit that they were in. That isn't showing up. That's just sitting in it. Showing up is asking questions. Oh, this is interesting.

24:21 How do we get out of this? This is interesting. What have other people done here? This is interesting. Where would I go to have more fun and get myself out of this? That is showing up. Now, you've got to be honest with yourself about what's going on in your world that's having you not show up. If it's a relationship that's not working, if it's a job or a... that you don't enjoy or a business that you're fed up with running, like what's it gonna take? And that is the magic of this subject. Dan Priestley, you know, showing up in his videos, he's blowing up across the internet right now. He's been on Stephen Bartlett's Diary of a CEO thing like three times. Nuts. And that, you know, having known him for the last 10 years, it's not an overnight success. It's 10 years of talking about the same thing leading to becoming an overnight success.

25:05 Showing up. In your relationship, if you're fed up with the way things are going and you haven't had the difficult conversations, or each time you do, you flange out and don't say what you really wanted to say, you're not showing up. And guess what? Then you're not getting the experience you want. You're not getting the life you desire or deserve. In fact, you are getting the life you deserve. You're getting a shit life because you're not showing up. So that's the topic for the day. I'll do it later. I don't have time. It's too hard. No, they're just cop-outs. What's it going to take to create the time? What's it going to take to create the space? That's how you show up. Now, I suppose I'll give you some actions to take here that would be useful, wouldn't it?

25:44 How'd you, what are we going to do, Johnny? You just rabbited on for half an hour. So if you're still listening to this point, literally make a list of the areas in life where you're experiencing some level of frustration, or if you scored each area of life as we do in the fire code, where are you at between one and 10? And if you're anything less than a seven in an area, what do you need to be able to show up more? What are the actions that you could take and then sort of start to circle them? This is one that would shift the dial. This is one that I could do easily. This is one that's going to impact my kids and my relationship, or this one's going to have me have more fun with my friends most.

26:25 Like, what's it going to take? Because then when you start to stack those wins, the feel-good factor, the dopamine, the reward center in your brain kicks in and motivates you towards doing more. Sitting on your ass achieves nothing except guilt and flab. Getting off your ass flushes you with positive emotions and feel-good chemicals that are going to drive you towards doing more. That's the power of showing up. Like I said at the beginning, if you want to book a power call, then simply go to highvalumanproject.com forward forward slash power call. If you've not had one before, they're totally free. If you, there's so much stuff. We've got the relationship reset for showing up in your reset. We've got the single dad advantage for showing up post-divorce.

27:09 We've got drain to unstoppable showing up for yourself. We've got the inner circle and the accelerator. All this stuff is what makes up the high value man project. And I'd love to see you involved. Go over to, like I said, either the power call or the group and we'll get you sorted out. It has been my absolute pleasure to share this time with you today. Thank you for tuning in. Please share it with other men in your life. And until the next episode, look after yourself. Take care. Thanks for tuning in to the Johnny Jensen show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with fellow dads.

27:47 Creating the life you deserve starts with you. Get your high-value man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvalumanproject.com. Let's go.