Is Your Lack Of Self Awareness A Lethal Weapon?

00:00 Anyone who's got a lack of self-awareness is literally walking around like a gun ready to go off, like a ticking time bomb, basically. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches, relationships and results they deserve. Get your high value man blueprint and join our community at highvalumanproject.com. Let's go. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen show. My name is Johnny Jensen. I am the founder and head coach at the High Value Man Project. It is great to have you here today, whether you're watching on the live or you're listening to the podcast.

00:44 It is my absolute pleasure. Today's topic of self-awareness, a lethal weapon. And yes, the answer is yes. Anyone who's got a lack of self-awareness is literally walking around like a gun ready to go off, like a ticking time bomb, basically. It's a skill. It's a level of sophistication. It's a level of measure of you as a high-value man that you are self-aware. And in today's episode, today's show, I will give you examples of times when I really wasn't that self-aware or perhaps I really didn't give a shit about what I might have been self-aware, but I didn't care.

01:27 So I guess that's another dynamic to it is being self-aware and having the degree of responsibility that you actually care about how you're showing up. And that is a core theme inside of the High Value Man project. We are modern dads, generally over 40s men, successful in our business, but struggling with the way that life is panning out at home. We're feeling overworked, undersexed, frustrated. And it isn't just about how other people or the circumstances that are going on. It's about you taking responsibility for yourself. The change that you wish to see in others normally starts with you.

02:06 But we have it round the opposite way. We're frustrated. We're waiting for someone else to be different. We're waiting for someone else to change. And when they don't, we get more despondent or we get more frustrated. That's where mental health challenges turn up. You know, for men under, I think it's men under 50, suicide is one of the highest killers. In particular, men between 40 and 50. It pretty much is the highest cause of death. And it's a mental health condition, which we can attack, which we can fix by creating the life that we deserve and not a life that we feel stuck in.

02:43 And self-awareness is part of that. If you're ready to level up, if you want to be part of the High Value Man Project, then I invite you to either join the High Value Man group at johnnyjenson.com forward slash group or book yourself on to a 15 minute high value man introduction call and you can do that at join.highvalumanproject.com forward slash one five call. I think I should make a shorter URL for that. But basically, if you drop the drop a comment in the ear wherever you're watching this, then I will get back to you.

03:20 Hashtag man and you'll get the high value man blueprint. Really, just whatever it takes for you to get hold of me, then we've got your back here. How could you possibly remember me telling you like five different things to do? Let me tell you, if you go to johnnyjenson.com forward slash group, that'll put you into our free community on Facebook and we'll get you everything that you need. So the high value man process, you know, from the 3XC formula for living, clarity, courage and commitment.

04:03 And so you might say, well, where does self-awareness fit into those three areas? Well, the answer is it's pretty much across them all. It is a core. Is self-awareness a core value? I think it probably is. It might not get expressed like that. It might come out as integrity. It might come out as respect. It might come out as generosity. It might be about communication. You know, it really is a value of tidiness or timeliness. Self-awareness is recognizing that you have an impact wherever you go.

04:48 How you show up, what you say to people, what you say to people when you're happy, when you're sad, when you're drunk, when you're trying to make a point. Self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability for you to slow down time in the moment and both see what you're about to do and how it's going to land on that other person. Because that's a degree of responsibility where you start to have real power, real power everywhere. I did this course at Landmark once and they did this powerful exercise where you sat

05:28 with the partner and back and forth between the two of you, you just simply repeated, I'm creating you, creating me, creating you, creating me, creating you, creating me. And it's like a lot of these kind of exercises. It's only when you've been doing it for five minutes that you start to actually get the point of the exercise. And you could see in the other person's expression that your uncomfortableness or you smiling or you fidgeting, you giggling, you like scowling, like if you were tense, the other person responds to that. Whether they're even aware of it or not, they pick up on it. And this is the most subtle level of self-awareness.

06:13 You know, I used to love, I used to talk about it. In fact, when I became really self-aware, one of the things I became aware of is that I used to love, this is probably more when I was younger, but I think I'm more in control of it now. I used to love to throw these little social grenades, you know, fire off these little comments that were perhaps a little bit challenging, that were perhaps a little bit shocking, maybe, perhaps they were extra. I don't know. It wasn't like I was, you know, writing off one sex over the other or one race over there. I mean, not talking about things like that, but, you know, just things.

06:55 I can't even think of an example. But maybe it's just about being loud, you know, but being the one that wanted to be noticed and how you do that is either by the volume that you speak or the things that you say. And the thing about that is that the truth is, without self-awareness, you're likely repeating the same old mistakes, wondering why things don't work out. You might think you're great at communication. But if others see you as closed off, then your experience of them is, well, no one helps me out. No one tells me, no one tells me what's going on.

07:35 So you start to get the arsehole with other people. You start to go around life frustrated. But it actually comes back to you. And if you can't see your own blind spots, right, then they become pit holes, potholes, pit holes. They become potholes that you're, well, they become barriers that you're about to crash headlong into. And the reason they're called blind spots is because you can't see them. But you have to be able to take a moment to actually notice. That could be that you ask other people. It could be that you take a period to reflect. Journaling is a great way to develop your level of self-awareness.

08:16 It's an opportunity for you to reflect on the day, on the moment. And it's not like, oh, I'm going to write a diary, dear diary, today I did this, did that. It's not a journal, it can be about that if you want your journal to be about that. But for me, and in the high value man journaling program, it's really about getting your experience of the day down. What worked, what didn't work, what was my win, what was a challenge, and seeing the patterns that start to occur there. Because when you start to see those patterns, if you have taken on,

08:53 if you've taken on taking on your own responsibility, then when you observe those patterns, you'll start to see why does that always turn out like that? Why? You know, if you're the... Here's a good point you can always reflect on, is that wherever you go, whoever you're with, whatever you're doing, there is always one person there. And that only person that's always there is you. So if situations always go the way they do, then it's unlikely all those different people's fault, if you want to call it, be blaming, but it's unlikely anything to do with them.

09:30 It's how you show up. And that's the level of self-awareness that when you master it, instead of that weapon being lethal, it becomes a tool for good. You become conscious of how your words are coming out and how they might land with people so that you can put across to them emotions, that you can get the kind of response back that you. you want that you can engage either one person or a whole room of people and get them to either empathize with you or to feel inspired by you or to come on whatever journey or mission it is that you're asking them to come on and that is the power

10:14 of a high value man that is the power of self-awareness So a couple of exercises that you could do we've just talked about journaling if you if you comment hashtag man on this video or drop it in the comments like you know send me a DM then I will give you access to the high value man blueprint and the U2.0 program which is a free short program which will highlight to you aspects of mindfulness and self-awareness such as journaling

10:55 asking other people you know have you ever done this have you ever done an audit where you've gone out to the people around you and you've asked them what what am I like like like what what do I do that works for you what do I do that doesn't work for you what's what's it like being around me and your job is not to be upset or shocked in fact your job is to create the space for them to be honest with you and how you create that space is that you're really okay with what they say you really take it on board because if you've asked someone who cares about you and you've given them the space to be truthful then what they say

11:33 matters and what you really need to say is thank you thank you for the honesty you've just given me thank you for taking a risk in saying that to me I'm going to use that to work on myself and situations that aren't working for you if there's a frustration in a relationship if there's somewhere you're challenged in your health you know a level of self-awareness could be how you get up in the morning a level of self-awareness could be what you drink at night a level inside of courage in the 3xc

12:19 sorry inside of commitment in the 3xc because when you start to have a level of self-awareness where you realize that what you're putting into your body what you're drinking what you're eating how you're exercising how much you're sleeping how much water you're drinking how organized you are how well you're managing your money this isn't about turning your life upside down it's about having a level of control where everything works for you it's a level of self-awareness where you see oh dear I seriously am not in control or oh yeah I have got this nailed that is a degree of self-awareness because when you have it going like that and you see something's off

12:59 you can be like ah I want to shout on my kids for us being late to school today or me being stuck in traffic after I've dropped them off because we left 20 minutes late what actually where's the level of self-awareness coming from there oh okay I need to get up early I need their clothes to be ironed I need to have the right cereal in the house whatever it is that's going on for you self-awareness another word for it is taking responsibility so where is your self-awareness off what's the impact on others who are you going to ask and what are the actions you're going to take as a result of both listening to this and of hearing what other people say to you get yourself into the high value man project we have lots of free resources inside the group

13:50 at the risk of giving you a whole long list of things to do again just go to johnnyjenson.com forward slash group and that will get you in that'll get you everything that will get you on the email list and i will serve you in the way that you need everything that you are looking for to create the life that you deserve and not the life you feel stuck in okay guys uh look forward to seeing you on the next episode let's go thanks for tuning in to the johnny jensen show be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with fellow dads creating the life you deserve starts with you get your high value man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvalumanproject.com let's go