Ignite Your Masculine Energy with Fun Adventure and Friends

00:01 Welcome to the Team Super Dad podcast. Are you having enough fun? Yes, you need to ignite your masculine energy with fun, adventure, and friends. And if you're not having enough fun in your life, well, then you need to tune in to today's episode. Roll theme. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Welcome back to the Team Super Dad podcast. It is great to have you here. It is in the morning in the UK, as always, but you may be in the afternoon, the evening.

00:46 I don't know, whatever else. Perhaps you're awake at night trying to get to sleep. Hopefully this isn't going to make you fall asleep. My name is Johnny Jensen. I'm the host of the Team Superdad podcast. I'm also a dad coach and the founder of the Team Superdad community. We are modern men creating the life that we desire, not a life that we feel stuck in. And it is about living with power, about your masculine energy, about being the leader in your family, in your work, in your own life. So if you are one of those dads, then make sure you're in our community. Get over to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group.

01:22 And if you're watching this and have other men, mates, friends, brothers, sons in your life who need to see this, then get sharing it right now. Hit that share button as we start on the lives. Of course, if you're listening on the subscribe, well, share the podcast with your family and friends as well. Today's episode, we are talking about reward, the fun, the R ⁇ R, relaxation time, basically the quality time that you create for yourself in your life that are in the power code is the top of our pyramid of our triangle. A lot of power in triangles. Coach Wooden's triangle. Is it triangle of success?

02:05 I love Coach Woodham. I've read lots of his books and watched his videos. The most successful college basketball coach of all time. If you're a fan of Ted Lasso, then you might have heard it referenced. It's on the wall. If you look in Ted Lasso's office, in a frame on the wall, you've got Coat Woodham's, I think it's called The Pyramid of Success. So yeah, go and check that out if you haven't. It's definitely, I would count him as one of my mentors, even though I don't know him clearly. I've learned a lot from Coach Woodham. Where's the way? Oh yeah, fun, fun, the pyramid, right?

02:45 Yeah, purpose is the bottom of the pyramid. Ownership, that is the ownership of your mind, toxic energy versus positive energy. The W for do the work, engage, which we've been talking about for the last couple of weeks. That is the people in your life that matter the most. Your mentors, your family, your friends, your relationship, your partner, your wife, basically the people around you that influence you the most. And then on to the final part of the whole power code process, reward, fun. Also, relaxation, the time that you spend with yourself. It doesn't matter how successful you are, what you've created, what you're working on, where you're headed.

03:28 If you're not having enough fun along the way, if you're not finding reasons to laugh and relax and basically have, you know, plans to look forward to and memories to look back on, then what's the point? And it does actually go deeper than that, but quite literally, what is the point? And it's not about ultimate success. You know, you could be failing at your endeavor, but so long as the endeavor is clear, so long as the direction you're headed is clear, then the act of actively pursuing that goal, well, that's the essence of fulfillment. Having a clear direction and actively pursuing it is the essence of fulfillment.

04:08 And so, as Winston Churchill said, you know, going from failure to failure without any loss of enthusiasm, that's the definition of success. And having fun along the way is absolutely vital. It's what men do best, you know, being able to be working hard, slogging your guts out, being in the flipping trenches, being down a coal mine, like being on an oil rig. Like I'm trying to think of tough environments, okay? Or being an exhausted dad, right? If you can't find reasons to laugh and relax, then you are not only going to burn yourself out, but what's the point?

04:51 Where's the essence of life? And through some of my tough times, my dad has said to me in the past, problem is, son, I'm just not sure you're having enough fun. fun definitely is a couple more swear words in that and there's definitely a couple of more swear words in most sentences my dad says so but uh but you get the point you get the point right so the thing is as men and i've got two two new dads have joined the power code this week right and they're in the same boat they're well that's not true actually one of them's single going through divorce the other one is a business owner he's a family man his relationship isn't quite what in fact

05:35 all aspects of life aren't quite how he wants them to be but the situation is the same and i felt it myself you're focused on the family you're focused on growing the business having enough money you think i've got to look after my wife i've got to make sure that she's happy and so we've we've we've created this modern day um nightmare where we put all of our energy into everybody else hoping expecting that it's all going to work out for us like if i'm a good enough guy it's all going to work out so as you've will have heard me reference so many times before

06:15 dr robert glover's book um no more mr nice guy this is the essence of being a nice guy is putting all your focus on everyone else hoping that it's going to work out and then when it doesn't having nothing to fall back on and by the way you could have it all working uh let's say you have it working in four out of the five areas of our f5 focus fitness finance family and fun but if one of them really is struggling then like any kind of toxic pollutant it will seep into other areas and

06:50 drag you down you know you can't have a broken relationship and expect to thrive at work and be smashing it at the gym and and and even your relationship with your children one part of it's broken your health if you're got constant back pain um then it's going to impact the rest of your life it just happens and so carving out time for fun in your life is absolutely vital you you if you have nothing to look forward to it's very much around the essence of fulfillment having things to look forward to gives you the motivation and drive and and satisfaction of a tough day

07:29 because you know you've got a fun weekend coming up or you know when you get home you're going to be able to actually relax too many men just don't even know how to relax or worse um business successful people they'll go home and they're so focused on work that simply sitting down and having a beer watching the the match or even going out on uh on a date with their with their wife it occurs like guilt it occurs like a panic like i should be doing something else you'll find it with your kids as well you're supposed to be looking after the kids you're supposed to be hanging out with them and you've got you know 75 of your attentions on your mobile phone

08:13 dedicated quality time and your own fun fits into that probably next week we'll talk about bucket lists and an adventure uh but this week okay and it is that triangle you know understanding that at the at the top of it all at the end of the day the the reward and the fun the celebrating your results is is is what sets you up for the next day so let's talk about that that that relaxation part that's celebrating the results actually rewarding yourself if you

08:54 um if you plan your days right if you plan your weeks if you've got a schedule again that's part of doing the work part of the power code then you will have a list of things that you were working on that week a set of actions or goals it's too easy in life to get to the end of the day and be fixated by what we haven't done in that day the the irony is if you've done if you've got off your ass and actually done anything you were supposed to do that you will have achieved things and yet instead of feeling the reward of looking at what we've achieved feeling happy that those emails went out that the podcast got uh edited that

09:39 um that we optimize i'm thinking about what i've got to do today right that we optimize the the youtube video then we will we get to park run maybe maybe not given that the late start this morning after bloody stream yard problems problems. Um, but to focus on all the things that didn't get done and then to miss the fact that this did happen, that my daughter is going to the cinema at lunchtime, I'm going to drop her off, that Jago and I are going to get on and probably go to the park and do something ourselves. They're the bits that we did get done. So, getting to the end of the day and reflecting on that and taking stock of that, it triggers the dopamine effect in our brain, our reward center.

10:24 Knowing that we achieved on what we set out to do triggers the reward center. And if you don't do that, if you just focus on what didn't get done, then you aren't going to get that hit, that dopamine hit that comes with achievement. So, that's why it's so important on just a micro level to get home at the end of the day and to sit and to take 10 minutes for yourself, whether it's a glass of wine, a cup of tea, a walk with the dog, a jog. Like, it has it can't just be, I've just got to walk the dog or I've just got to go to the gym. It's got to be a conscious moment where you sit and do that for yourself. And you're like, Yes, this is what I did today, and I am the man.

11:10 It's like part of the reprogramming, the affirmation cycle in your mind. Okay, so that's the importance of celebrating your day and reviewing what you've achieved, celebrating and rewarding yourself with a conscious moment. And by the way, sitting down and watching the football in the same way as playing with your kids, if that's something that you get joy out of doing, then actually do it. Don't sit there and feel guilty about doing it and half do it. Actually, give yourself that time and consciously notice I'm sat on the couch enjoying this because I worked my ass off for another eight hours of the day.

11:55 Okay, uh, now planning for fun, right? In the same way as everything we've just spoken about in rewarding your day, if you've got plans down the line, things that you're actively looking forward to, then the sense of hopelessness or the resignation, or is this as good as it gets? Like going around with the hamster wheel, the rat race, whatever the analogy you want to give yourself. When you have, you'll know it yourself when you book a holiday. Suddenly, when you book that holiday, you feel better.

12:34 And so, but don't leave it to only two weeks of the year. You need to make sure that you're consciously carving out these opportunities, these plans, these events, these things to look to look forward to. So, date night with your wife, with your partner, that is an essential activity to carry out each week for your relationship. It's important to know that inside of the stress and strain and exhaustion and busyness, that you've got time together to look forward to. Your friends, too many of the men inside a Team Superdad, they don't see enough of their friends. It's not that they don't have any friends, although when you don't see anyone for bloody months, you get left with that idea, I've got no one to turn to.

13:16 Another vital reason why you have to be constantly in contact with your friends and planning for weekends away, for opportunities to see them, for lads, holidays. When you put those moments into your diary, it gives you anchors, like literally in your sanity, that somewhere down the line, somewhere next week, somewhere next month, we're doing this. And it gives your brain a release, it stops the stress and strain in one area and allows you to go off to the other side and to be in a more creative, relaxed, enthusiastic, excited place.

13:58 And so, yeah, like the holiday, the holiday example, the moment you book a holiday, you're looking forward to it. But what else could you book? What about concerts and festivals and gigs? Like, these things are happening. It's, it's, we went to Mickey Flanagan last week at the O2. Bloody brilliant. Uh, very funny. Although the support act was absolutely shy, absolutely unbelievable. Talk about like gauge the room. I'm going to talk about that in another live, but uh, but but yeah, but anyway, Mickey Flanagan was bloody brilliant.

14:35 Um, but we bought those tickets six months ago. So, if you don't plan for these things, then you're never going to get yourself there. Um, spontaneity, obviously great, but but if you go um, if you you have everything you do is spontaneous and last minute, then you don't trigger that thing we just spoke about in terms of being able to look forward to about seeing it on your calendar, about having a destination in mind down the line. Reward, reward. So laughter. Yes, that's where I was coming on to. Laughter. As creatures, we're one of the few animals. Now, I'm not Terry Nutkins or

15:21 Steve, whatever his name is, the Aussie that sadly died from a stingray bite. But laughter is, we are one of the few animals on earth, as far as I know, where we can just generate laughter. Now, if you've ever done any laughter yoga, sounds bloody strange, but laughter yoga is literally the act of creating laughter. Like even now, I can just, I can just, I'm sat here on my own recording this podcast and I've laughed or at least suggested that I'm laughing by making a laughing sound multiple times during during this episode, during this live.

16:01 The brain is a dumb machine, as well as being incredibly powerful. When we trigger laughter, then all the feel-good chemicals that are associated with laughter get generated. So laughter yoga, in terms of a self-regenerative process, is the act of spending half an hour laughing. It's on my list of things to train in. But I did it in Brighton. I've done some with, oh, I've forgotten his name. A guy I met on LinkedIn during lockdown. We've done a few sessions together, a few lives together as well.

16:46 But if you're not having reasons to laugh, then you're missing out on all those feel-good chemicals that come with the act of laughing. So how do you laugh? Well, you can just make up a reason to laugh. You can think back on a happy memory. You can look at old photos. You can put episodes of Friends or Seinfeld or I don't know whatever else you used to watch that you find funny. 40 Towers. I don't know what's new. Oh, Ted Lasso. Like, be tuned into things that make you laugh. Because if you're not, then like any habit, you'll just find yourself laughing less and less.

17:24 And so the dopamine, the endorphins, the positive feel-good chemicals that come from laughter, you'll be missing out on. And this whole subject around reward is about those, the feel-good factor, the reward that comes from having had good people in your life, having been to an awesome concert, having hung out with family and friends, having watched an old movie or some TV to yourself and simply going to bed with a smile on your face. These habits, these quality time that we fail to give ourselves are a downward spiral. And that's why so many men are struggling. That's why so many men

18:09 will use distraction as a way to find joy, whether that's too much booze, too much porn, too much gambling, too much sniff, too much, like any of these things that are a distraction. You're looking for that hit of fun. Well, the hit of fun can be created at any time in any place, either at the end of your day, either by planning weekends with your mates, looking forward to date nights, scheduling things with your children so that it's quality time, finding reasons to laugh every day, booking holidays. You know, Christmas and birthday or New Year, you know, they're coming round. So why not have a birthday party planned? Why not have a New Year's Eve party planned?

18:53 Why not be in contact with all your old friends, whether it be schoolmates, uni mates, workmates? Like, why can't you be the beating heart of your own social circle? Guess what? No one else is coming for you. The amount of fun that you have in your life, as well as being vital, is also on you. So put it together. Look at the next 12 weeks. Look at the next 12 months. Make sure that you have got plans to look forward to. So that next time we're sat here talking about this, you've got memories to look back on. And remember, like everything we do in Team Superdad, this is the example that you're setting your children.

19:37 How do you want them to speak about you? How do you want them to remember your childhood? As a stressed out, boring, fat bastard bastard. or as the dad that had it all and created constant regular reasons to laugh that is the essence of living with power that is the r in the power code pyramid let me know in the comments let me know um in the uh in the team super dad community what are what fun are you up to this weekend what have you got planned are you watching the fa cup with your mates um is it champions league final next weekend are you going paddleboarding no not going paddleboarding bloody when

20:20 is the sun coming third of june are you kidding me um but yeah what are you up to what are you finding what is making you laugh this week as always uh get yourself over to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group to be part of that community and in terms of living with power of getting the power code in your life being part of the coaching program the group of men who are actively working with me to create the life that they desire and to be the man and dad that their family needs then go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash 15 call and that will book you in to have a conversation with me about what you're working on what you want out of life and how the power code can help you make it happen

21:05 remember to share this podcast share this live and i'll see you next week uh on the next episode of the team super dad podcast team super dad out this has been team super dad find us at teamsuperdad.com join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children you are not alone you're on team super dad