How To Take 100% Responsibility And Live With Power

00:02 How to take 100% responsibility and live with power. Welcome to this week's Team Super Dad podcast. Let's roll. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hello, gang. Welcome to the latest episode of the Team Super Dad podcast. Good to have you here. If you're live, then you can comment. If you are listening on the replay, give me a replay of the podcast, leave a comment.

00:45 But it's good to have you here. Team Super Dad, we are a motivated community of modern dads, business-owning dads, single dads, dads who want to create a life of their dreams rather than a life they feel stuck in. And if that is you, then welcome here. And if it's one of the community, then you're probably on that journey. Hopefully it's behind you, or at least we are overcoming it on a week-to-week, day-to-day basis. This week, we're going to be looking at next part of ownership and really the idea, the concept, the principle of taking 100% responsibility in your life of yourself and of your life and how that creates absolute true power and freedom for you.

01:32 It's been a good week here. The sun is shining, thankfully. Spring. Come on, spring. Come on. Certainly some parts of the UK are covered in snow today. And thank the Lord, that is not us down here in the South. I'm so done with winter. So done. You can't resist things that you can't change, but nonetheless, I do look forward to spring. I think it'd be okay if I lived in the mountains. Then I could ski and enjoy the winter. But this whole kind of wet, cold, dark nonsense, just glad to be out of spring. I don't know where you are in the world or what it looks like for you, but I hope you're going to have a great day today.

02:15 So yes, if you've been listening to the whole series, this series four, we're going through every element of the power code, which is the core training method inside of Team Superdad and the Hero Academy. With really how we go to work on ourselves as men to create that life that we desire, to actually be 100% responsible for ourselves, living with power, but power as a way of freedom and a way of success, so that you can have that joy at home and the results at work, the relationship that you actually dreamed and hoped for.

02:56 And of course, for your kids, same thing, that relationship, that parental role, that fun, the love and the joy that we all hope to have with our kids. Not just when they're little, but hopefully when they're teenagers as well. That is where I'm at. And that's what I'm working on. It's been an exciting week. My daughter, she got her high school slash secondary school letter letting her know which school she had got into. And then followed up a few days later with confirmation, an invitation to the scholarship at that school on the performing arts scholarship. So absolutely bloody brilliant that she achieved that. So proud of her.

03:41 And of course, as that all unfolded, taking a moment to let my boy know there's going to be a lot of love going your sister's way this week. Don't take it hard. Know that your day has either been before or there's another day coming and trust that where it's easy as a kid, you know, to have those thoughts of, am I good enough? Am I not good enough? And it's our job as parents to notice that and just lift them up at every point possible. Responsibility. A lot of people hate this word, right? It looks like it's much easier to blame someone else. 100% responsibility. It's the idea, right?

04:24 That when you are like, oh, I want to swear, but they're getting so tough on the podcast rules about swearing now. But anyway, unbuckable with, right? When you're truly at peace and in touch with yourself and nothing anyone says, does or thinks can bother you. That is like ultimate peace. And you can have that by taking 100% responsibility for all the things you have and all the things you don't. But we don't operate like that. We actually operate like, I'm trying really hard and everything else is against me. Or don't you understand or don't you appreciate or or yeah, but you know, and out of that comes a lot of blame, a lot of resentment, frustration.

05:07 We get caught up in the numbness of everyday life and we're looking for, well, is this as good as it gets? How can it be that I'm doing all this and it's still like this? The answer isn't outside of you. The answer is in you. It starts with 100% responsibility. If you're watching live, most of the socials you can comment on and I will see that comment come up below. I'll bring you in. We'll answer the questions. Mr. Andy Arter asked some great questions the other day, Mark Rose, in a previous episode. So yeah, so feel free to ask away. What is responsibility? Like, where does that start and end?

05:52 You know, anything that happens to us, there's always a cause, like a root cause, cause and effect. And you can keep tracking it back. You know, how your day goes probably is determined by how your morning went. How your morning goes is likely determined by what happened when you went to bed. What happened when you went to bed will be determined by what you drank, eat, watched, said the night before. So that's kind of obvious, but we can actually take it back way much farther than that. Your general mood and health, you can take back to your level of fitness.

06:30 The state of your marriage or how you get along with your ex can go back as far as you asked her out, you kissed her, you had sex with her, you asked her to marry you, you made the kids. So it's all very well saying, you know, you're this, you're that, and you don't understand, but responsibility is the realization that it all stems back to you. And when you get that, rather than blaming the other person, you can have a much greater level of empathy and understanding. You can have a much greater level of peace when you're looking at the situation from,

07:14 I don't have to put up with this. I can create some change here just by going back to seeing where it all started. And the complete, you know, if you were looking for like, is this, is this affecting me? You know, when you're cause in the matter of your life, right, you're feeling empowered, you're taking ownership, you've got full responsibility. And when you're at the effects of life, when you're blaming others, you end up feeling disempowered and you're avoiding responsibility. Like it's a very reactive and generally quite aggressive, you know, either aggressive outwardly, like you're having a row with someone, or aggressive on the inside, like it's rotting you away and taking you down.

07:58 So, you know, in the realms of is this desirable, would you like to have this? Hell yeah, it has to be. And if you're looking at the relationships, whether that's someone you run your business with, whether it's people that work for you, whether it's, whether, of course, it's your relationship, but also your children. Where are you responsible for how big your house is? How much money you've got, how snappy you are with them, how much energy you've got. It's about getting honest with yourself. And so in a similar way as we created a vision board back in purpose, hello to all the people coming on and joining.

08:40 Good to have you here. Feel free to comment. You can do. And if share this with people who you know and feel could value from this, we're looking at taking 100% responsibility for everything you've got in your life and how that can be incredibly freeing and empowering. So you can take that, you know, the vision board that we created in purpose, or you can just look at the sort of five key areas of your life, your fitness, your finances, your family, the amount of fun you're having. And you can start to look at that and see, well, what are my frustrations? Because this topic starts generally in areas of frustration or blame or lack.

09:22 And when you look at that and get honest with yourself, you'll realize how much you're hanging on to that, how much you're blaming other people and what that's like. Now, the antidote for it is to look at the flip side, is look at the opportunities, look at the alternative. If you were cause in that area, if you were at the root of the design of your life, what could you take responsible for? How could you improve it? Where would you perhaps need to make an apology? apology? Okay. If I go back to my marriage, there was so much external pressure, things that I felt were happening to me.

10:05 And as I tried to fix and control and manage all those things, what I really failed to recognize and appreciate was that I wasn't looking after myself enough. And so when my brother took his life in December, Christmas, Christmas, December 2014, it was the final straw for me. And everything, you know, I had nothing left to really offer and give, which in the moment felt like, oh, and now this. But again, it took me a couple of years to realize this. But realizing where the responsibility lay, I could have been more healthy.

10:43 I could have put my focus instead of on my relationship. I could have put it on the business. I could have even left the relationship, not to necessarily end it, but I could have taken time out and said, we're going to have to address this and fix it. And so the responsibility lay with me in not making the right decisions, not taking perhaps some of the hard choices that needed to be taken. And in this regard, we're sort of wandering into that phrase that some people don't like these days about, you know, it's time to man up. Making difficult decisions, making uncomfortable choices, not because you're being selfish or because you're not thinking of other people, but that you're taking 100% responsibility for the outcome of what's actually going to happen and realizing where can I have the most power here?

11:31 Where can I be at the root, at the root cause of creating a better outcome, which is far, far, much, far, far, much better than blaming other people? And if you don't like man up, right? You can go for wake up, take control, be the man, or don't be shit, right? Don't be shit. Be your best. Make it happen. I say this to my kids all the time. Don't moan, make it happen. So where are you suffering something that needs to be transformed? Right. How could you flip it around and turn it into an area where you thrive? Where are you not saying something that needs to be said?

12:12 Where do you feel frustrated and worn down that you need to take some responsibility in that situation so that you're not at a low ebb, so that you have strength and power and control in that area? Where are you putting up with a situation that you'd like to be a different way? You know, if you're not talking about that, if you're not sharing that with the other person, if you're not bringing them into the conversation, you can be certain you will be dominating and dogging on them, even in a really subconscious, icky, kind of snappy, not very nice, not very helpful, not pleased to see them. It will be coming out. You think you can hide it, but you can't.

12:50 Expectations. If you've got expectations of others or of situations and you feel like they're falling short or your expectations are not being made, then that is also an area to take responsibility. What could you be doing? If you're resigned, feeling resigned or underperforming in a particular area, what's it going to take? What's it going to take to improve that so it doesn't drag down the rest of your life? And that is why it is vital at these kinds of times to focus on yourself because that's where responsibility lies. It's incredibly freeing to realize this and to get honest about how much you've been blaming other people, situations, circumstances.

13:31 It's on you. And it's time to realize that. So no negativity here. Okay. This isn't about blame or fault. It's not about going to town yourself and, you know, in fact, negativity is just a habit. It's a stain on your life. If you're the kind of person that wakes up thinking negative thoughts or the outcome to a situation is like, this is probably not going to work out. Or she's always like that. Or you're driving home and you're expecting something to be to be, you know, go walking into the same thing. When was the last time you did something to make a change there? Could you have bought flowers, done the shopping?

14:09 I don't mean like just bend over backwards to accommodate everybody. But if you had the conversation about what could we do to make this better, to make a fresh start, to make it a different way, then you are causing the matter. You are actually working towards, forwards, towards what you actually want rather than just sitting there and moaning and bitching about what you don't want. Because like I said, that is what drags you down. You've got to get honest about this. Are you complaining a lot right now? Because it is just a habit. It's a way of thinking. It's a being. If you stay tuned for a couple of weeks' time, we're going to be looking at your ways of being. If you're going into every situation with negativity and doubt and blame, that is your way of being.

14:54 So don't be surprised when it gets reflected back on you. Again, that is 100% responsibility. So when you cut out negativity, when you stop this blame and fault, you will start to bring in the positivity. You will start to see more opportunities. You will create freedom for other people around you. It's infectious. It's like the complete antidote to the virus that was spreading. It's a wave of wellness and improvement and positivity. It's not just like, oh, bullshit positivity. It's about being cause in the matter of why things weren't how you wanted them and setting about making it happen.

15:38 So some practical things you can do. This is actually taken from the ownership training inside the power code. And so it's a list, right? But I'm just going to run through this list that's part of this exercise. There's about 20 things here. Okay. So you can notice which of these you're doing, which of these you're not doing, and consider what would be the effects of stopping it, starting it. Okay. I'm going to catch myself or stop myself from going into great detail about each and every one because that will take ages. If you've got a question, if you want to query one of them, if you want more details on how to make it happen, then if you're a dad, you can come and join the Team Super Dad group. Just go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group and get yourself in there. We can talk about all these kinds of things.

16:21 We have the free training. And of course, you've got access to me inside of there. And if you're watching on the live, you can comment as we go through. So number one, cut out the news. The news is shit. The news will control and steer you down. Learn more, read more, listen more. Like Stephen Covey, sharpen that sword. How can you feed your mind with new knowledge that's going to give you a fresh perspective on things? Choose what you watch diligently. This taps into the other two, right? But if you're cutting out news and you're learning more, then

17:00 pick what you're watching on TV. Oh, Scar, Netflix, Prime, whatever it is, but laugh. You know, if you think of these two categories, the three categories, laugh, motivate, and relax. Which of those categories is what you're watching feeding? Okay, so choose what you watch. Laugh, motivate, relax. Listen to music. In the purpose of the power code, I encourage you to make a Team Super Dad playlist. You know, music is such a mood-enhancing joy. Okay, so make a playlist. Have access to music that lifts you up or encourages you or relaxes you. Have it on playlists. Subscribe to a music service so you've got music all around you constantly.

17:44 Practice active listening when you're with others. Now, active listening is not listening with the intention to answer what they're saying or be ready to reply. Active listening is really listening and even observing what they're saying, their body language, so that you fully understand where they're coming from and what they're going through, really, rather than what you're going to say in response to it. Remember, you don't have to fix everybody. Forgiving others and yourself, the whole context of today's podcast: blame, resentment, resignation, regret, even death, right? Let it go. And the same goes with toxic people and situations. You don't need them in your life.

18:29 And if you have something or someone who's consistently toxic, let them go. Get outside more. Quite simple and practical. But we, as creatures, we thrive off of fresh air, off of vitamin D, off of being outside and having a broader perspective on the horizon and what's in front of us. There's a study that's referenced in a book which is about high performance. It's about secrets of the high performing people. I'll share it in the group or on my socials later. But yeah, it references a study in there about the impact of getting outside more.

19:10 Focus on what you can change and what you on, and not on what you can't change. It's debilitating constantly trying to change other people in situations that are outside of your control. 100% responsibility is focusing on what you can change. Don't sweat the small stuff. Let it be easy. Like literally, let things be easy. Do you need to react? Do you need to be bothered about every tiny thing? Just trust that it was meant to happen. It's going to be okay. Or that it doesn't really matter. Find reasons to say yes more often than saying no. Now, I don't mean. being a yes man, like, you know, do this for me, do that for me. I'm talking about opportunities.

19:51 I'm talking about invitations. I'm talking about reasons to be around other people, hear new things, meet new people, experience new things. Say yes more than no. Don't multitask. It's not wrong that we're not very good at multitasking. And if women think that they are, that's fine. As men, I know that we're not that good at multitasking. And even if you are, the attention that you're putting into one task is greatly diminished if you're doing two tasks. So why not be the absolute optimum you in everything you're doing? So don't multitask. Set daily, weekly, monthly goals. This is a huge part of responsibility. You monitor and reward yourself.

20:34 Speak to and see friends regularly. These are core tenets of the power code and of everything we do inside of Team Superdad. But you have to have your friend list and make the effort to actually speak to a friend or family member each week, see someone, make plans, go out, certainly on a monthly basis, if not weekly basis, and make plans to go and spend quality time with people. Say hello and connect with people. I know most of my neighbors and it doesn't take much to just wave and say hello to people. People that serve you, people that you work with, notice them and say hello. And equally notice your anger and adjust your environment accordingly. Anger is normally born out of stress.

21:17 It's a stress about a particular something. So rather than being angry at someone else, look at how you can adjust your environment so that you're not ready to blow. Accept compliments graciously and believe them. Too many people ignore it when you say to them, that was awesome, well done, or you look great, or I love your hair, or whatever it is, but no one's going to say that to me anymore. But if you get paid a compliment, take it on board, notice it and say thank you for it. Don't say sorry when you've not done anything wrong. This one blows my mind. The number of times people say sorry when they haven't actually done anything wrong, it is deeply empowering.

21:59 Sorry, deeply disempowering. Even if you don't notice it, what that other person experiences is you saying sorry for something you've not actually done, which does impact that relationship. And notice where you avoid or dither. Are you putting something off? Take action. That is 100% responsibility. Some practical things here. Drink enough water. Stay hydrated. Two liters. I've got this funky new bottle here. It's literally a two litre bottle. I'm trying to do at least one of those a day. Sleeping seven hours a night. Get a watch, get a tracker. Notice how much time you are spending asleep and whether you've got a sleep debt. A sleep debt will ruin you. Eat right and get enough protein. This is about fueling your body.

22:41 One to 1.2 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. Of course, exercising regularly falls into part of that. But that really is about responsibility, about like, how do you feel? How healthy and fit is your body. Give love. Like love is a flowing emotion. You get more the more you give out. So say I love you to the people you care about and be generous with your hugs and affection. Don't accept being addicted to anything. TV, cigarettes, your phone, your relationship. Like if something is ruling your life, then you're addicted to it and that is not healthy. The final three, challenge and stretch yourself.

23:26 It's a huge responsibility to get out of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is a shit show. It will drag you down. So challenge and stretch yourself. And then laughing. Laughing actually fires off the positive endorphins and dopamine and serotonin in our body. Find reasons to laugh. Good times, bad times. You can laugh on a daily basis, watch something funny, speak to a funny person, or even just sit there and decide to start laughing. If you've ever done laughter yoga, you'll know how easy it is to create that. And the final one, in the terms of 100% responsibility and living with power, is believe in yourself and dream big.

24:08 Truly, truly, if you can't believe in yourself, then who the hell is? And if you haven't got big dreams, ambitions, goals, things you want to do with yourself and your life, then how the hell do you expect other people to get on board and help you make them happen? This is the essence of responsibility. I hope this has been of value to you. Come on over to the Team Superdad group, teamsuperdad.com forward slash group. And to all the people listening, you will notice that from time to time, I offer the Team Super Dad discussion. discovery calls. These are free, basically 15 minute calls, super easy to arrange. Just go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash 15 call. That's one five call and you can get on board there.

24:56 It's an opportunity to talk about, really reconnect with what you want, who you are and what you want. And then I can give you some guidance, some access to different resources. And if you're interested, invite you to a longer call, the Power Code call, where you can really start to understand everything that we do here at Team Superdad and working with me, Johnny Jensen. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. Loads of you today. Absolutely awesome. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on any of your podcast channels and share this with other men in your life who you think could benefit from this message. 100% response. It's hard to say, right?

25:39 100% responsibility. It starts with you. It ends with you. It's down to you. Go out there and make it happen. Thanks, guys. Team Super Dad. Out. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at TeamSuperdad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.