How To Take 100% Responsibility And Live With Power

00:01 How to take 100% responsibility and live with power. Welcome to this week's Team Superdad podcast, let's roll! Hello gang, welcome to the latest episode of the Team Superdad podcast. Good to have you here! If you're live then you can comment if you are listening on the replay give me a replay with the podcast leave a comment but it's good to have you here team super dad we are a motivated community of modern dads business owning dads single dads who want to create a life of their dreams rather than life they feel stuck in and if that is you then welcome here

01:02 And if it's one of the community, then you're probably on that journey. Hopefully it's behind you or at least we are overcoming it on a week to week day-to-day basis this week We're going to be looking at next part of ownership and really the idea The concept The principle Of taking 100% responsibility in your life of yourself and of your life and how that creates absolute true power and freedom for you It's been a good week here, the sun is shining thankfully. Spring! Come on spring come on certainly some parts of the UK are covered in snow today and thank the lord that is not us down here in the south I'm so done with winter...so done!! You can't resist things that you can't change but nonetheless I do look forward to spring. I think it'd be okay if I lived in the mountains then I could ski and enjoy the winter but

02:01 This whole kind of wet, cold dark nonsense. Just glad to be out of spring! I don't know where you are in the world or what it looks like for you but i hope you're going to have a great day today So yes, if you've been listening to the whole series this Series 4 we're going through every element of The Power Code which is the core training method inside of Team Superdad and The Hero Academy with really how we go to work on ourselves as men. To create that life that we desire. To actually be a hundred percent responsible for ourselves living with power

02:43 But power as a way of freedom and a way of success so that you can have that joy at home, and the results at work. The relationship that you actually dreamed and hoped for... And of course for your kids same thing! That relationship, that parental role, that fun, the love and the joy that we all hope to have with our kids not just when they're little but hopefully when they're teenagers as well. That is where I'm at and that's what iIm working on It's been an exciting week. My daughter, she got her high school slash secondary school letter letting her know which schools she had got into and then that followed up a few days later with confirmation or an invitation to the scholarship at that school on the Performing Arts Scholarship so

03:35 Absolutely bloody brilliant that she achieved that. So proud of her and of course as that all unfolded, taking a moment to let my boy know it's gonna be a lot of love going your sister's way this week don't take it hard know that your day is either been before or there's another day coming and trust Well it's easy as a kid you know to have those thoughts of am I good enough, am i not good enough and it's our job as parents to notice that and just lift them up at every point possible. Responsibility! A lot of people hate this word right? It looks like...it's much easier to blame someone else 100% responsibility. It's the idea right that when you are uh like

04:27 I want to swear, but they're getting so tough on the podcast rules about swearing now. But anyway, unfuckable with right when you're truly at peace and in touch with yourself and nothing anyone says does or thinks can bother you that is like ultimate peace! And you can have that by taking 100% responsibility for all things you have and all the things you don't but we don't operate like that We actually operate like, I'm trying really hard and everything else is against me. Or don't you understand? Or or don't you appreciate? Yeah but... You know and out of that comes a lot of blame, a lot of resentment frustration we get caught up in the numbness of everyday life And we're looking for well is this as good as it gets how can it be that I'm doing all this and it's still like this The answer isn't outside of you

05:20 The answer is in you. It starts with 100% responsibility if you're watching live most of the socials, you can comment on and I will see that comment come up below i'll bring you in we'll ask to answer the questions um Mr Andy Arter asked some great questions other day Mark Rose in a previous episode so yeah so feel free to to to ask away what is responsibility like where does that start and end? You know Anything that happens to us, there's always a cause.

05:58 Like a root cause, cause and effect. And you can keep tracking it back you know how your day goes probably is determined by how your morning went How your morning goes is likely determined by what happened when you went to bed What happened when you went to bed will be determined by what you drank ate watched said the night before So that's kind of obvious but we can actually take it back way much farther than that Your general mood and health You can take back to your level of fitness. The state of your marriage or how you get along with your ex can go back as far as, you asked her out, you kissed her, you had sex with her, you asked her to marry you, you made the kids so it's all very well saying you're this and that and you don't understand but responsibility

06:56 And the last one is the realization that it all stems back to you. And when you get that, rather than blaming the other person, you can have a much greater level of empathy and understanding. You can have a much greater level of peace when you're looking at the situation from I don't have to put up with this, I can create some change here just by going back to seeing where it all started The complete, you know if you were looking for like is this affecting me? You know when your cause in the matter of your life right. You're feeling empowered, you're taking ownership, you've got full responsibility and when you're at the effects of life, when you're blaming others, you end up feeling disempowered and you're avoiding responsibility like it's a very reactive

07:48 And generally quite aggressive. Either aggressive outwardly, like you're having a row with someone or aggressive on the inside like it's rotting you away and taking you down so in the realms of is this desirable would you like to have this? Hell yeah! It has to be and if you're looking at the relationships whether that's someone you run your business with where there's people who work for you whether it's well of course it's your relationship but also your children Where are you responsible for how big your house is? How much money you've got, how snappy you are with them. How much energy you've got... It's about getting honest with yourself and so in the similar way as we created a vision board back in purpose

08:38 Hello to all the people coming on and joining, good to have you here. Feel free to comment if you can do and share this with people who you know and feel could value from this we're looking at taking a hundred percent responsibility for everything You've got in your life And how that can be incredibly freeing and empowering so you can take that you know The vision board that we created in purpose or you can just look at those sort of five key areas of your life Your fitness, your finances, your family The amount of fun you're having and you can start to look at that and see well what are my frustrations because this topic starts generally in areas of frustration or blame, or lack. And when you look at that and get honest with yourself you'll realise how much you're hanging on to that how much you're blaming other people and what that's like now

09:36 The antidote for it is to look at the flip side, is look at the opportunities. Look at the alternative if you were cause in that area If you would, you know, at the root of the design of your life What could you take responsibility for? How could you improve it? Where would you perhaps need to make an apology Okay, if I go back to my marriage there was so much external pressure things that I felt were happening to me And as I tried to fix and control and manage all those things, what I really failed to recognize and appreciate was that I wasn't looking after myself enough. So when my brother took his life in December 2014 it was the final straw for me. Everything...I had nothing left to really offer or give which in the moment felt like oh now this!

10:35 But again, it took me a couple of years to realise this but realising where the responsibility lay I could have been more healthy. I could have put my focus instead of on my relationship, I could've put it on the business. I could've even left the relationship not necessarily end it but I could've taken time out and said we're going to address this and fix it And so the responsibility lay with me in not making the right decisions Not taking perhaps some of the hard choices that needed to be taken And in this regard, we're sort of wandering into that phrase that some people don't like these days about time to man up. Making difficult decisions, making uncomfortable choices not because you're being selfish or because you're not thinking other people but that you're taking 100% responsibility for the outcome of what's actually going to happen

11:28 And realizing where can I have the most power here? Where can i be at the root, at the root cause of creating a better outcome. Which is far much better than blaming other people and if you don't like man up right! You can go for wake-up take control be the man or don't be shit. Don't be shit! Be your best make it happen. I say this to my kids all the time...don't moan make it happen so Where are you suffering something that needs to be transformed? How could you flip it around and turn it into an area where you thrive. Where are you not saying something that needs to be said, where do you feel frustrated and worn down that you need to take some responsibility in that situation

12:18 I'm going to be talking about the You can be certain you will be dominating and dogging on them even in a really subconscious, icky kind of snappy not very nice not very helpful. Not pleased to see them it will be coming out! You think you can hide it but you can't Expectations. If you've got expectations of others or of situations and you feel like they're falling short, or your expectations are not being made then that is also an area to take responsibility What could YOU be doing? if you're resigned feeling resigned or underperforming in a particular area what's it going to take? What's it gonna take to improve that so it doesn't drag down the rest of your life And THAT IS WHY IT'S VITAL at these kind of times

13:18 On yourself because that's where responsibility lies. It's incredibly freeing to realize this and to get honest about how much you've been blaming other people, situations, circumstances... it's on you! And it's time to realize that so no negativity here okay? This isn't about blame or fault. It's not about going into town yourself and oh god.... You know in fact negativity is just a habit. It's a stain on your life If you're the kind of person that wakes up thinking negative thoughts or the outcome to a situation is like, this is probably not going to work out. Or she's always like that. Or you're driving home and you're expecting something to be... go walking into the same thing. When was the last time you did something to make a change there? Could you have bought flowers done the shopping I don't mean just bend over backwards to accommodate everybody but if you had the conversation about what could we do to make this better to make it fresh start to make it a different way

14:19 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Because it is just a habit, it's a way of thinking. It's a being if you stay tuned for a couple of weeks time we're gonna be looking at your ways of being If you're going into every situation with negativity and doubt and blame that is your way of being So don't be surprised when it gets reflected back on you again that is 100% responsibility

15:00 So when you cut out negativity, when you stop this blame and fault. You will start to bring in the positivity. You will start to see more opportunities. You will create freedom for other people around you it's infectious It's like the complete antidote to the virus that was spreading. It's a wave of wellness and improvement and positivity, which is not just like oh bullshit positivity it's about being cause in the matter of why things weren't how you wanted them and setting about making it happen so some practical things you can do this is actually taken from

15:42 The ownership training inside the power code and so it's a list right but I'm just going to run through this list that is part of this exercise. It's about 20 things here okay, so you can notice which of these you're doing which are these you're not doing and consider what would be the effects of stopping it starting it okay? I'm going to catch myself or stop myself from going into great detail about each and every one because that will take ages. If you've got a question, if you want to query one of them if you want more details on how to make it happen then if you're a dad you can come and join the Team Superdad group just go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group and get yourself in there we can talk about all these kind of things we have the free training

16:22 And of course you've got access to me inside of there. If you're watching on the live, you can comment as we go through! So number one cut out the news. The news is shit. The news will control and steer you down Learn more read more listen more like Stephen Covey sharpen that sword how can you feed your mind with new knowledge that's gonna give you a fresh perspective on things Choose what you watch diligently. This taps into the other two, right? But if you're cutting out news and you're learning more then pick what you're watching on TV. Oh, it's with Scarlett, Netflix Prime whatever is but laugh! You know... If you think of these three categories laugh motivate and relax which which are those categories is what your watching feeding okay so choose what you want to watch laugh motivate relax listen to music

17:22 In the purpose of the power code, I encourage you to make a Team Superdad playlist. You know music is such a mood enhancing joy okay so make a playlist have access to music that lifts you up or encourages you or relaxes you have it on playlists subscribe to a music service and you've got music all around your constantly Practice active listening when you're with others. Now, active listening is not listening with the intention to answer what they're saying or be ready to reply. Active listening is really listening and even observing what they're saying their body language so that you fully understand where they're coming from and what they're going through really rather than what you're gonna say in response to it remember you don't have to fix everybody

18:13 Forgiving others and yourself. The whole context of today's podcast, blame resentment resignation regret even death right let it go and the same goes with toxic people in situations you don't need them in your life if you have something or someone who is consistently toxic letting them go Get Outside More, quite simple and practical. But we as creatures thrive off of fresh air, off of vitamin D, being outside and having a broader perspective on the horizon and what's in front us. There is a study that is referenced in a book which

18:57 It's about high performance. It's about secrets of the high performing people I'll share in the group or on my socials later, but yeah it references a study in there about the impact of getting outside more Focus on what you can change and not on what you can't change. It's debilitating constantly trying to change other people and situations that are outside your control 100% responsibility is focusing on what YOU CAN CHANGE Don't sweat the small stuff Let it be easy. Like literally let things be easy, do you need to react? Do you need to be bothered about every tiny thing just trust that it was meant to happen is going to be okay or that doesn't really matter find reasons to say yes more often than saying no now I don't mean

19:45 Being a yes man, like do this for me. Do that for me I'm talking about opportunities. I'm talking about invitations. I'm talking about reasons to be around other people hear new things meet new people experience new things say yes more than no don't multitask it's not wrong that we're not very good at multitasking And if women think that they are, that's fine. As men I know that we're not that good at multitasking and even if you are the attention that you're putting into one task is greatly diminished if you doing two tasks so why not be the absolute optimum you in everything you're doing? So don't multi-task! Set daily weekly monthly goals this is a huge part of responsibility. You monitor and reward yourself

20:34 Speak to and see friends regularly. These are core tenets of the Power Code and of everything we do inside a Team Superdad, but you have to have your friend list make the effort to actually speak to a friend or family member each week see someone make plans go out certainly on a monthly basis if not weekly basis and make plans to go and spend quality time with people say hello and connect with people I know most of my neighbors And it doesn't take much to just wave and say hello to people, people that serve you. People that you work with notice them and say hello. Equally notice your anger and adjust your environment accordingly. Anger is normally born out of stress. It's a stress about particular something so rather than being angry at someone else look at how you can adjust your environment so that you're not ready to blow

21:27 Accept compliments graciously and believe them. Too many people ignore it when you say to them, that was awesome well done or you look great or I love your hair whatever it is but no one's gonna say that to me anymore! But if you get paid a compliment take it on board notice here and and and say thank you for it don't say sorry when you've not done anything wrong this one blows my mind the number of times people say sorry when they haven't actually done anything wrong It is deeply empowering, sorry deeply disempowering. Even if you don't notice it what that other person experiences is you saying sorry for something you've not actually done which does impact that relationship and notice where you avoid or dither are you putting something off take action that is 100% responsibility

22:19 Some practical things here. Drink enough water, stay hydrated 2 liters I got this funky new bottle here it's literally a two liter bottle i'm trying to do at least one of those a day sleep in seven hours a night get a watch get a tracker notice how much time you are spending asleep and whether you've got a sleep debt sleep debt will ruin you eat right and get enough protein this is about fueling your body 1-1.2 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight Of course exercising regularly falls into part of that but it really is about responsibility, about like how do you feel? How healthy fit is your body. Give love! Love is a flowing emotion you get more the more you give out so say I love you to the people you care about and be generous with your hugs and affection don't accept being addicted to anything TV cigarettes your phone

23:16 Your relationship, like if something is ruling your life and you're addicted to it and that's not healthy. The final three challenge and stretch yourself is a huge responsibility to get out of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is a shit show! It will drag you down so challenge and stretch yourself and then laughing laugh in actually fires off the positive endorphins and dopamine and serotonin in our body. Find reasons to laugh, good times bad times you can laugh on a daily basis watch something funny speak to a funny person or even just sit there and decide to start laughing if you've ever done laughter yoga you'll know how easy it is to create that And the final one in terms of 100% responsibility and living with power is believe in yourself and dream big

24:07 Truly, truly if you can't believe in yourself then who the hell is? And if you haven't got big dreams ambitions goals things you want to do with yourself and your life then how the hell would you expect other people to get on board and help you make them happen. This is the essence of responsibility I hope this has been a value to you Come on over to the TeamSuperDad group, teamsuperdad.com forward slash group and To all the people listening you will notice that from time-to-time I offer The Team Super Dad discovery calls these are free basically 15 minute call super easy to arrange just go to teamsuperdad.com Forward slash fifteen call that's one five call and you can get on board there they're

24:56 It's an opportunity to talk about, really reconnect with what you want who you are and what you want. And then I can give you some guidance some access to different resources and if you're interested invite you to a longer call the Power Code Call where you can really start to understand everything that we do here at Team Superdad and working with me Jonnie Jensen Thanks for listening, thanks for watching. Loads of you today absolutely awesome! Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on any of your podcast channels and share this with other men in your life who you think could benefit from this message 100% respons... I can't even say it's hard to say right? A hundred percent responsibility it starts with you ends with you is down to you go out there make it happen

25:46 Thanks guys. Team Superdad, out! This has been Team Superdad Find us at teamsuperdad.com Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children You are not alone You're on Team Superdad