How to Keep the Love & Passion Alive in Your Relationship

00:00 Keeping the love and passion alive in your relationship. Hell yeah, relationships they have their ups and downs that's normal and the key to staying happy fulfilled and connected is being true to yourself and doing the high value man work. Roll theme! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go!

00:37 Hello man, welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show. It is the International Day of Love and I am here to help you, to guide you, to share my wisdom which we'll have a laugh about as well but to share my wisdom on all things love and relationships in If you are here for the first time, welcome. My name is Jonnie Jensen and that's my show of course and I am the founder and head coach of The High Value Man Project we are a community program for modern dads who want to create success they have at work At home as well so they can feel like the man and dad that they want to be so they can have their relationships with their wife, with their children. As well as maintaining their own life, their friendships, their hobbies, their interests

01:24 Having fun and living the family life, the business life. Having it all! And that's what it's all about here inside The High Value Man Project too many of us simply struggle along not having that and wondering where it all went wrong and relationships marriage whichever you're in is no different If you are, before we get into all that if you want to know more about everything we do here at the High Value Man Project then the best thing you could possibly do is get yourself over to the high value man project or just simply highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group that will get you into our entry level our complimentary community called The Brotherhood. The U2.0 program is in there

02:05 There's lots of chat in all these different areas of the fire code that looking after yourself, being the best version of yourself managing your business and your money making an impact in the world. And then your relationships! The key relationships that matter to you...the diamond alliance, your wife or partner, Your family and friends, and of course your mentors and network as well. Those four key sets of relationships And then finally last but not least probably more important than anything is are you having enough fun? Are you enjoying this thing this gift called life 80 odd years or so around this rock if you're lucky Did you have fun because if he didn't what's the point success without happiness Is that really success

02:49 Relationship without happiness. Is that really success? So yes, it is the International Day of Love and don't worry whatever time of year you're listening to this it's very relevant Too many people have the idea of love completely wrong, completely upside down. I can say that from experience because i most definitely did am I the guru? Am I the love doctor? No! Do I have a thriving happy relationship? I do. Um...do I take it for granted absolutely not. Do I put a lot of work into it? I'd like to think so and um

03:30 Four years actually, today is our anniversary. First date anniversary and we've pretty much decided there's not a chance we're doing the marriage thing. We're not saying never but having been both married and both divorced I've also been to two of my dad's weddings which i think that... No unless you're in a culture where weddings are a regular thing right? No kids should go to two of their dads weddings surely! And my sister blimey she's been to three so You'll have to ask her about that. I think she is scarred a little bit, but don't worry she's sorted out in therapy just like the rest of us had to now. Now i've made myself some notes here you know some podcasts and some lives...I'm sure you watch them they're very slick it's not like they're scripted because that wouldn't be fair on them but they've got multiple cameras and the production

04:24 I don't really do the post-production thing, you know. I give it some tweaks so if you're listening on the podcast then hopefully you are hearing as best an audio as possible but other than that i don't really do much to this but what that does mean is that the preparation has been done there are notes and sections things i want to talk about I love to talk though so quite honestly sometimes i get the end and i think i have literally not covered anything i prepared. What was the point in spending half an hour getting ready for it or even longer sometime today has actually been a little bit longer there's alot of things that i wanted to say, wanted to get across this

05:06 I've called it, what have i called it? How to keep the love and passion alive in your relationship because fundamentally that's what is the most important thing. You know there are a lot of sort of pseudo negative aspects about relationships that aren't working about going through divorce by getting over divorce You know, about should you stay in a broken relationship or not? No is clearly the answer. What is marriage? A sensible concept in 2025 26 27 whenever you're listening to this no probably not in the way that it's currently constructed Is someone told me a good friend someone I trust and value but nonetheless he is a pastor and so he would naturally have the opinion that living in sin aka

05:57 Being in a relationship, having sex with someone when you're not married is sinful. Is wrong! I'm not sure i'm totally on board with that either with my view and perspective on love and marriage and faith but what I do know regardless of where you find yourself falling in amongst all those different positions is that what I do know is that having a successful happy Laughter filled, passionate relationship with someone who you feel connected to. Someone who gets you. Someone who fundamentally when you know the chips are down is going to be there for you is an incredible thing it's a wonderful thing It gives you like an extra level of joy for life and extra sense

06:46 Power, an extra layer of willingness to keep going. Like there's something else... There is someone else out there in the world that what you do matters for and I guess our kids very much fall into that but you know our love for our kids is generally a given And how do we know that? Well we know that because kids can get up to all sorts of crap and we still love them You know ummm What's that expression I've heard? You might not like your kids But you're always going to love them. And I think that's probably true, right? Thankfully right now, I still love and like both my kids at this moment in time but if you're listening guys be good or else okay. Do you remember...I think my dad used to be told when we were kids if you're not good we're gonna send you to a boarding school!

07:37 Do parents still threaten their kids with that? I don't know. I haven't threatened my kids with that, seemingly right now the worst thing you can do is threaten your kids by taking their mobile phone off them but that's a completely different story! I love my kids but this is about the kind of love that you have for that significant other...for your wife or your partner. I hate partners. Joe and I don't do the whole partner thing She's my girlfriend. I adore her, she's going to stay that way and you know what maybe here's...I hadn't really thought about saying this but maybe the attitude and intention that we have towards someone that we call our girlfriend before we tie the knot before we're committed forever before we like till death do us part The kind of energy that we put into our relationship as girlfriends Maybe maybe that's the kind

08:33 Essence, the kind of intentionality that kind of frizzing energy. The passion that should be kept alive when someone may not be committed to you so Actually before I get started a little story and this although this is a story from this week it's the story that i've told before and I could tell many times again into the future because I've heard on the touchline at my kids football matches, and I've heard women you know generally the dads right where I'm standing there with the dad. And I've heard women talking about in office situations or old girl mates talking about their partners

09:15 If you find yourself doing this then I want to pull you up on it. I want to hold you to account and its when you hear someone talking about their relationship in very disparaging terms something like, oh yeah well he can't...he's not going to do anything for Valentine's Day Oh no well they talk about their sex life as if that chance would be fine thing I don't know, like what they get up to. Oh well he's not bothered or oh well she just nags me oh she never you know... She's not interested in that anymore you know? She never comes near me like when you get to the point where your relationship where you're able to speak to it like some dirty old car that you really couldn't care less whether someone dings the side of it or not then how dare you quite honestly

10:06 And on both sides someone should call a timeout, someone should be like there is a problem here. How dare we allow ourselves to talk about our relationship in that way because the experience we have when were in a relationship when where committed to the person we married it's not A prison sentence, flipping heck. It's not something that we're supposed to suffer and struggle with being in love with someone being in a committed relationship you know it should be a joyous experience now will there be ups and downs absolutely is it your job to see them through 100% You can't go dumping someone the moment something goes wrong or chucking the blame on them simply because you know you're not happy

10:58 Inside of the Relationship Reset, which is one of the High Value Man tools. And if you want it, you can just go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash reset or comment reset wherever you're watching or listening and I'll make sure that you get that. I've lost my train of thought but anyway... The level of passion and enthusiasm you have for your relationship should be precious! You shouldn't allow it to become like stale Because the experience that we have in life is that life should be joyous, is that we should feel like someone's got each other back. I'm annoyed that I've lost my train of thought there and that's what happens when you when you wander off track from the notes but yeah where I was getting at is if your relationship is basically... If you're going to score out a 10 and you're currently putting it around a 4 or 5 then flipping hell! It shouldn't be that way and even if

12:03 What I'm going to share with you now, even if your relationship feels like oh it's good. It's good! It's better than most people's but is that enough? Right the question... Going back to my notes is really gonna help Is male menopause a thing why can't I remember as much stuff as I used to be able to some would say I never had a very good memory but am I the man she wants to be with or the one that she stuck with Because that kind of thought can go around a man's head too often but not that particular question it's flipped the other way. Like is you know am I with the right woman wouldn't be nice if she was better, but you can change her what's going to create a change or shift in her is who your being is in the way that your showing up right

13:00 Valentine's Day tonight there will be in restaurants around the world couples sat there looking at each other maybe even looking at their phones without a word to say. It's going to be the most expensive shit night since 12 months ago basically don't be that couple it's about you stepping up And demanding more of yourself inside the relationship as the man, right? And by the way you know we'll get into being a nice guy. It's not about you constantly giving giving and hoping and expecting something to be better right so let's get into this okay um The Wake Up Call what does your relationship look like right statements like I just don't feel connected to you anymore you're on you know that's not healthy

14:00 Or I wish things were different or looking at other couples even, you know inside of the relationship reset. There's a aspect of it which is reminding each other sharing with each other what your hopes and dreams your goals and ambitions your values your know what do love about this relationship? What frustrates you about this relationship getting it all out on the table so that you can see exactly where each of you is act if you don't know what your other half wants Then, oh my gosh how on earth do you expect to help her have a fulfilled life if she can't accurately say what she thinks that you want out of life. How on earth is she supposed to support you and help you create a fulfilled joyous passionate life? It's just not possible and yet if we haven't had those conversations the likelihood of us guessing it or remembering are probably pretty slim

14:57 And as random analogies go, and they're quite often sporting with me or you know if you got a car race car going round and round the track. And they go in for a pit stop and then pick crew haven't got a clue what to do it's not gonna work because I'm gonna go back out is gonna go around another 10 times gonna come back in and say somethings wrong I don't know what it is well we haven't got a clue either let me wipe the windscreen and pump up the tires and you go back again let's hope things get better its just not gonna work And that disconnection if we stick with the analogy of going round and round doing a hundred more laps coming back in having a pit stop hoping something's gonna fix it. A holiday, another kid, a night out for Valentine's Day is not gonna be what fixes it. Relationships! For your relationship to work you as the man need to be the leader in that relationship You need to show up in that relationship as the man who's in control of his own life

15:53 Right, as someone who's fit and strong. I am aching today because i increased my dumbbells in the gym yesterday to 15kg. I've never really done it with those ones before so but today I'm aching but I'm not ripped! I'm not massive but I'm still bigger and stronger than ever been before in my life looking after myself helps me show up in my relationship with someone that she wants to be with Someone that she's attracted to someone that she is excited by the fact that I'm out there doing other things making myself attractive not just to her but whoever else because i want to go and get anyone else but as a level of jeopardy their and 11 look like a reason for them to be interested for her to be interested in me.

16:43 Are you making your other half interested in you? You're reading stuff, are going out and meeting people. Are you interesting when you sit down to talk have you got anything to talk about or are just watching sports news and flipping live news like who wants to talk about the news seriously we want to talk about things that funny things he discovered things that you've spangled your mind because you just found out about it And then impact, like if we're working through the fire code here. Impact! Like how are you mastering the relationship between yourself? Are you leading in that relationship when it comes to where are you going for dinner do you just say oh I don't mind when it comes to talking about what you're gonna watch on cinema Oh I don't mind you decide like how many times are you gonna... If your that person

17:44 If you're responding like that, then you are not showing up. You're not making an impact in as we're talking about here how the fire code manifests inside of a relationship. You're not showing up as the leader and if you keep giving that space away she's going to keep... She's going to feel the need. She is going to be required to fill that space And if you've been in their relationship for a long time and you conceded that space For years and now you feel like she doesn't listen to you, your controlled. You're like it's like your... you can't even go to the shops without getting bollocked for bringing the wrong stuff home! Like no! You conceded that space over time it's for you to start to show up. It's for you to declare a reset and then inside the relationship okay? How is the relationship being managed are you making time for each other are you committing to date nights

18:43 Are you actually communicating in an effective way when she talks to you are you preparing yourself simply to respond, do disagree to defend yourself too wherever it might be like or are you actually sitting there noticing. Her body language, noticing what she's doing with her hands. Whether is she open and alive? Is she concerned and maybe slightly anxious? It is a difficult subject or exciting subject for how present are you with when she's talking because whether you... well whether you realize it or not that the very point of this is that you don't realize it okay but her experience will be that your not really concentrating, your not really getting her if you're honest

19:31 Because we always say, yeah I am. Yeah I am but if you're honest at the level of just said your not and then energy that E in the fire code are you bringing fun and adventure into relationship to what degree are you creating surprises? To what degree are you choosing concert tickets or where you going out today And it's not all about splashing money like i said The idea of going out on Valentine's Day is a horrific basically idea But what else are you up to? Are you leaving a note in her shoe so when she goes to put her shoes on, she finds this note from you. Are you putting some music on and not just music that you want like actually picking some music that means something for the two of you that you can have a joke about or dance around too. Are you surprising her with tickets to something

20:29 It doesn't always have to be a gift either. It's like, guess what? We're going to go here! I've got the tickets brilliant make sure you've made sure it's in our diaries your diary and your friendships are you showing up in her friendships are you making yourself available so that it's not just like oh you're going out with your mates I won't come like having her friends know that you're fun that you're good guy that you're worth hanging out with don't mean that you have to go out with them every time but don't always be that guy that just says Oh no you go out of your friends So How do we make all this happen? Right. I've got a list of things here which i've worked my way through, okay and these are some of the things that I consciously do and bring into our relationship okay and we talked about a number of them already okay active listening we talked about that quality time right not you know it's making sure that you're leading in making these plans but then what does quality time look like? Quality time looks like in the mornings

21:35 Being awake enough or present enough to be able to have two minutes, whether you're just dropping off a cuppa for them and giving him a kiss and saying I'll see later on. When you get in from work are you just bowling in with the stresses of the day and dumping it all on the table? And like what's that like imagine your coming home every night And you're being like that and the same goes for her. What if she's bowling in and the first time you've seen them all day, it is every day it's like oh man I'm shit dead! Oh its all this crap! Oh just unload bleh bleh bleh! Be conscious of that If you were meeting someone... imagine you had a new friend and every time you went and saw that new friend for the first few months that you met them right or maybe with a new housemate

22:26 And then the first time you saw them, they told you how shit their day had been. I mean would you look forward to seeing that person? Not in any way would you be looking forward to seeing that person compose yourself as before you walk in through that front door like right what are some of the good things have happened today or even if they were bad like what was some of the funny parts of what went wrong today that I could share and then the little things Small daily acts of appreciation. It doesn't take much to notice that someone has, you know it cuts both ways as well whether they've done something nice and you might laugh at the old flippin heck Jonnie but like if it is the dishwasher or washing up or hoovering

23:20 Chucking an old pot of flowers that are dying away. Washing the recycling bin, like putting the clean clothes back in the cupboards. Cleaning the toilet! Noticing that she's had her hair done... These are all such cliched things it would seem but doing them takes such a little amount of energy Making the effort to say to someone, I really like it when you do that. Thank you! Like looking them in the eye and actually making it a moment so that they get your words coming to them And then playfulness... keeping the playfulness alive Laughter, flirting, spontaneity This is what makes a relationship work In the early days this is what makes a relationship exciting

24:18 Why would someone want to have sex with you if you're boring, miserable never help out. Never say thank you don't bring the fun like what like who how do you possibly expect her to have any kind of passion towards you and then as I said before in impact of the fire code leading in the relationship okay Take charge, be the man. I'm not saying like we're doing this or else but have that plan. Allow her to have an opinion but have that plan! Be bold, be chivalrous you know? Disney movies didn't teach us entirely that well how to manage a relationship that's for sure because all the women in the world aren't damsels in distress they don't want to be saved but they do want you to show up

25:17 Strong confident exciting little bit of something about you something that they could get excited about something that they could feel. A little bit of sexual energy towards are you making yourself that way. You know it's important to state at this time that if you were doing this stuff and she is not doing it in response, she's not meeting you halfway then something probably is wrong in the relationship. Subject to her age... It could be that you've got young kids and she just flipping exhausted! It could be that she has perimenopausal or menopausal and there's a lot going on for her actually makes it quite difficult for her to feel happy about herself let alone

26:04 Function or engaged with you, but it's not to batter each other over the heads with is to understand each other. It's because at the level of getting each other there is connection as well where you might otherwise find arguments and tension and frustration blame resentment boredom If you can bring to the table first of all a beginner's mind like how would I talk to this person if we were just starting out in a relationship or it was year one not year fifteen. Compassion, am i really getting her? Am I really hearing where she is at have even asked that creating new chapter what would look like if we had reset here what would complete

26:59 Pit stop, new tires, fresh paint. Refuel the tanks! What would it look like if we created a reset here? In a way that is leadership as well And if you've done that right, that means that you have shown up for yourself with the courage to have that conversation. A lot of men inside a relationship where they're bottling these things out when they try and have the conversation they don't get the response and instead of actually addressing that as okay well we tried and didn't have the conversation okay that's leading into a problem what are my next steps going to be I did this myself i've done this myself

27:37 You feel more and more withdrawn inside the relationship to the point where you think I can't say anything, i cant do anything. So you just detach or stay at work later or you doing fewer and fewer nice things and then when it does erupt the argument does come over something minor like how come your five minutes late boom! And then All empathy and understanding is out the window because it's now not about all those things, it's about the argument you're having. And that's bollocks! That's how men find themselves on the receiving end of oh he's a bad man well okay maybe they shouldn't have had an argument but maybe he's deeply frustrated about what's been going on for the last six months... six years but in every situation

28:30 The only way that a man, high value man can come out on top in this regard is to see the bigger picture. Is to create that relationship that he wants to be part of is to have the bollocks if things really aren't working out to create you know the conversation and if that conversation doesn't go well it doesn't go well two or three times to be able to say okay looks to me like this chapter's over looks to me like we might need to sensibly find a way to break up and move on because love Love has to have some jeopardy. There has to be an element of keeping things on the boil, keeping things worthwhile, keeping things exciting. Love to me is a living organism if you don't feed it and nurture it and appreciate it and tickle it then its quickly going to fade and die. Did you hear my voice go a little bit deep and serious there? I did feel that though as I was saying it felt really real

29:36 So I hope this has been a value. I could talk about it for ages, I don't know if i've made sense normally when I listen to it back when I'm doing the editing I'm like okay that went quite well did make a lot of sense there Make your relationship important create that quality time date night A night away once every 12 weeks, a weekend away once every twice a year ideally more. And certainly at least once a year a mini honeymoon or five night or seven night trip just the two of you. I realise money might be affected for some people hopefully not for everybody but literally

30:20 Your happiness starts with you and then your happiness is impacted by the strength of the relationship that you're having with a person that you love most. And then, the success of the people around you in your business and everything you do, the motivation you've got for everything else is fueled by that. A broken relationship will drag you down very very quickly so don't let it be that way! Whether you're listening to this tonight on Valentine's weekend or another time later on in the year, I'd love to hear from you about how you keep your relationship alive. I'd love to hear from you if you're struggling and want some insights and tips on like well this is what's going on how could i make a difference there? Like I said if you comment

31:03 Reset or go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash reset you can get yourself the relationship reset conversation is a powerful tool to really reconnect and reset things and if your The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen Show,

31:43 Reviews on The Jonnie Jensen Show. Each week, assuming I get at least more than one each week we'll be doing the review of the week and I feel like I'm setting myself up for a fall here! You can't do a review of the week unless you get any reviews, but that's why I'm doing this. The best reviews will be offered a one hour power code call with myself they have a value of £150 pounds. I've got people booking and spending that with me to have these calls so i will be doing a review of the week and if there is none it might end up being Review Of The Month but rest assured the quality reviews...and you can still be honest right?

32:28 Give a shit one of you on it's still better than no reviews. It tells the algorithm at least someone is listening, um the best reviews of the month will be offered a complimentary power call as a reward and incentive for doing that. It has been my absolute pleasure to be here with you for this episode feel free please share this with other men in your life and subscribe to the channel whether that is podcast or YouTube channel I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Take it easy, bye! Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with fellow dads creating the life You deserve starts with YOU get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go