Going For Gold - The Wrap Up #47

00:00 Hey dads, welcome back. This is the wrap up after a week of Olympic fun summer holiday shenanigans and outdoor drinking Glenn and Jonnie of Team Superdad are here to sort out the world so you don't have to Roll theme Welcome to team super dad real dads creating their best lives ever more time more money More fun You are not alone your on team Super Dad Welcome! Aside from the technical issues, which means we've got no idea what's going on. This is the Team Superdad podcast, the wrap-up it's the celebration of the end of our week if you're live you can see myself there on the stream and if you listen to the podcast well it's great to have us in your ears Glen good to see you! Good to be seen and once again in person in Casa del Ocho in this glorious summer days

01:04 The Jonnie Jensen Show Particularly as I've no idea why my laptop is going so slow and yours is... Well we've had amazing luck with technology today, and it's all worked smoothly from the second you arrived. It took about five seconds to put together and everything was in place and in play! I don't know what the problem is? Yeah, that's the picture we're painting. Let's not draw the curtain back! Draw the curtain back? I mean it feels like Wizard of Oz. No, I'm thinking worse than that. I'm thinking Rodney, Doughboy and Grandad

01:56 What this one, Dale boy? And the entire microphone dropping from the ceiling at one point. Yeah, down comes the whole chandelier! Well you are here with us on The Team Superdad Wrap-Up This is our weekly jaunt through everything that's been going on for last seven days and since we moved it to Monday that now includes our weekend which for me Glenn was... yeah I had a hangover Sunday morning Well that means you had a good Saturday night, sure. Yes! I'm going to explain exactly why it had a hangover shortly but it was linked to when you go to one of those events and they make you buy tickets... Yeah thats usually how you get into an event. No no okay but not to get in you buy tickets to buy drinks so it becomes technically a private party and they're not selling alcohol

02:47 I believe it's something like that. Yeah, we've done it before with the yeah you pay a pound for membership and then you get a pound off each your first ticket and then tickets allow you to swap them for beers just so that everyone has the right amount of beer That's how you get around that rule. At the last orders when I realized i had three tickets left. And how many? Was one drink, one ticket? Well I'm going to leave it dangling there and just let our listeners hold on for the end of that story but yeah suffice to say the last three tickets led me down a bit of a hole which took me till Sunday afternoon to crawl out! Oh good lord man you need to get your liver working!

03:32 But it's the summer holidays over here in the UK. Don't I know it, I've been trying to keep the kids occupied! Well I had to do far more work than I expected last week or last time was off I had to work every day and so far Monday and I have to do one-and-a-half meetings today so not too pleased about that but that was around a trip to IKEA now I went to IKEA to get some new plates, Jonnie. Just a new plate! Just plates? Just plate because my kids... you know how you end up getting a set of plates and one will get smashed another gets smashed so you think okay well i've got another set then before you know it but you've got three or four sets of plates all of them are mismatched none of them fit properly it's rubbish let's just go out and get some plates how much do you think I spent in IKEA when I was trying to buy some plates

04:13 Yeah, well plus people need to know were you there with all four children? All four children. But to be fair the only unexpected thing that they added was a couple of drinks some food and some way out filing cabinet type things like they weren't the culprits. And when was the last time you were in Ikea? Because there's a visit to spend ratio type equation here. My house is kitted, you know... So i don't think you can get in and out of IKEA for less than 100 quid! Yeah, you'd be right!

04:51 How long did you spend in the market bit on the way out? Well, we spent far too long. Just on the marketplace alone we spent £265 over time. Aww! Four children plus you five that's almost like 50 quid each yeah yeah It just adds up. We need to look at these dad what about... Yeah and then there's a list is now quite large as well so I reckon next time it could be even worse. I saw a life hack it said Go in the catalogue, see what bit you want from Ikea and then instead of going through the front door go into the back bit where there's sort of warehouses where they put everything. And simply then all you can do is see a bunch of boxes packed up back... You know and you just go and get what you need and leave. Isn't that life hack to like just buy it on the internet?

05:44 No, because they don't deliver do they? No but I've ordered Amazon stuff before and yeah sorry eBay not eBay IKEA. They do deliver now they do um but yeah iIdon't know what their online shop's like but I know you can get it from Ebay and Amazon all that sort of chunk When when I lived in Brighton there was like two things were in Brighton where I live there that were kind of ahead of time right Boo Brothers was a A couple of students slash ex-students with two transit vans and a couple of lockups who are beering. So old school when they would chuck you out the pubs at one or clubs at three then booze brothers would come into their own like, and then you could call the booze brothers and they would turn up in their van... And that's genius! Yes, and there was another guy called Mike here

06:35 Mike here, right? And he would go to Ikea and get your stuff and then bring it back to Brian. That's genius! There is always a niche available. I know...I had an idea It was like it was a food delivery idea and they were going to go to Takeaways and pick up food from the takeaways. The Jonnie Jensen Show

07:32 Did he know? Yeah, you know like I think it's about Daniel Levy or any top football chairman as well. Do they know when someone brings them next season shirts and their shit? When the spaceship rocket designer said Mr Bezos the designs are ready

08:12 And then they're like laughing, like when they're snickering. You can do it as a dare to start with, couldn't you? As a dare! He's not going to do it... Okay we'll let's do the cock rocket and then we'll get the proper rocket out. He's gone for the cock. We've never got actually built the cock I mean everyone's gonna know it's a cock The You know, the human, the cock, the penis has been shaped and formed by either God or evolution to be so perfect that you could actually go into space. It's so ergonomically perfectly designed Yeah, you reckon that is what it is then? Life has been leading to the Cock Rocket That is the ultimate form of life We're now going to transcend to the next level

09:19 I've often thought this about the fanny rack. It's an amazing piece of equipment, right? Yeah! Oh yeah... It can also look very attractive you know sometimes and then you can make babies in it. You can like... It's multifunctional. Yeah it's got a bit for fun at the top and a hole for pissing out of another thing for baby but then Compared to a bloke who can literally stand and have a piss anywhere, it's like the one design flaw of the vagina. It is but then you...it's also balanced out by testicles they are not well designed there is no such thing as an attractive ball bag so like you give with one hand and take with the other that's how it works right? So women missed out on standing up for a piss scene

10:03 And men missed out on, although we did get the ergonomically rocket-shaped space going space in a cock thing. Then you've got the hot summer day when the ball bag is just it's not pleasant it's not nice down there so I think...I think it's a tie between the two but like I say who's riding to space on a giant vagina? Nobody is! I think we might have won that one You must have seen Spaceballs. Everyone who matters has seen Spaceballs? I don't know, I don't know how many people... listeners viewers where are you can comment by the way we've missed out the whole introduction bit on

10:47 I'm not even going back there now. Sometimes we go back and basically if you're listening or watching it and want to know like what Team Superdad's about, or how we help equip men to create the best life ever, or any reminder to share this or subscribe... We're not gonna say any of that! You can go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash group. You'll get in on the inside track. Wonderful stuff and you truly can be the greatest dad ever. But what's Spaceballs man? You talking about Melbrook? Yeah he's a comic genius! He is, he's one of those like era defining...you can't..He is just of himself it doesn't nothing else is like him he just does what he does to perfection and does it over and over again apparently

11:38 Because I'm a Landmark Forum graduate. Apparently, Blazing Saddles came out around The 70s, as a result of a whole bunch of like Hollywood comedians and actors and stuff doing something that was called Est. But there's this mad bloke who did this personal development program thing called Werner Erhardt And then this company got formed called Landmark and basically they needed to move him out the way because it was alleged he did something that shouldn't have done away with There's a misdemeanor in there somewhere. Allegedly, allegedly slash allegedly! But apparently because they all went and did Est and then that a lot of the racial equality kind of message out of Blazing Saddles came out of them all suddenly being enlightened and wanting to do something about it

12:36 How that message carried across into Spaceballs, I don't know. Yeah it's a bit more farcical but it is bizarre that Blazers have all said... There are still people today that when it's on whatever channel its on they have to say like this movie contains historically inaccurate stuff and there's like people saying oh this is racist of course it's racist but to point out how racism is fucking stupid if you're saying it's racist You're so dumb that you can't see through the characters being racist past it to see how farcical it all is. That's like Nutella having a nut warning on it! Yeah, yeah it really is! It's like come on watch the fucking film I love it when he at the beginning says... He specifically asked for a negro My aunt was Dutch

13:33 Oh, bloody brilliant. So many awesome onlineers from now on. Not in the Mel Brooks thing but we're still moving... Every now and then I try and watch classic movies with my kids. I say classics they aren't always classics! We watched one this week- I mentioned the other day when my sister was around a movie called Space Camp. In fact she saw you probably can't see it on screen but got a list of movies just there um and i go through them and add them all the time. Movies that I grew up with Flight Of The Navigator Oh yes, compliance! And one of them was this movie called Space Camp. Yes and hardly anyone knows it but you can't find it's not on Netflix or Prime or anything... It's not anything but she'd been trying to track it down too and her husband has a gift the year before and bought it on DVD for her he like tracked it down and I showed it my kids last night and you know when you're sitting there watching it? They were on the edge of their seat they were absolutely

14:30 I'm List, a list of movies inside the Team Superdad group. We will start that I can see Glenn's list up here by the way This is only the next few? Yes, I can see it well because the kids get older as the movies go on As you watch them yeah You knock them off so we've knocked off Short Circuit and Bill & Ted's both excellent adventure And oh you're knocking him off the list but there are still some good ones on

15:15 I liked Weekend at Bernie's. Is that appropriate for kids? No, your kids aren't quite old enough yet but well the older two are. Maybe yeah. Weekend at Bernie's is funny oh then you're getting into all the John Hughes levels yes yeah that's another whole genre that you'll get well he's a genre entry himself basically Yeah so they've seen Planes Trains and Automobiles and Uncle Buck So again, these for me are the classics. They're what I watched growing up. Uncle Buck's at 15? How is uncle buck at 15? God knows! I don't know either. Yeah there are some movies i watch and then you thinking how the hell was... Was I allowed to...? I was allowed to watch Police Academy when I was like pre-teen oh yeah maybe that was because some of things went over my head but like this fully full frontal nudity in it

16:04 Yeah, I can't watch that with my kids. How the hell was i watching it when I was their age? Oh definitely! Well Blazing Saddles yeah...I watched that when I was well young video... They do the VHS What's it called? Beverly Hills Cop Yeah, oh no that is great. Again I feel like that one's got some violence in it especially the first one was a bit darker and more serious It's gotta be lots of F-bombs in there as well yeah yeah I mean it's Eddie Murphy when Eddie Murphy was... Eddie Murphy! We've spoken about Raw before. For some very funny comedy that hasn't aged well, check out Raw! Well in the realms of watching stuff Glenn we did mention it's this summer and oh before we jump into the Olympics seeing as we're doing this nostalgia wander back through someone posted Dan Flanagan who runs Dadless Soul which is a pretty cool dads group he posted

17:07 He does these like Friday night battle. It was holiday TV programs, holiday TV programs like Why Don't You? The Hair Bear Bunch So basically kids TV programs from Britain that you only used to see, like Ulysses. Oh I love it! He had a gun which was also a lightsaber. Amazing yeah but i've still got the song in my head because Ulysses...

17:46 I haven't seen that show in God knows how many decades. So his question was which of these programs most sum up school holidays for you? Not aware that there only used to be three or four channels. Yeah, I'll tell you what it was like. My kids don't watch TV so I grew up... So you'd have Safe by the Bell That was a big summer one for me and then Power Rangers were something my brother and sister watched but they were younger than me so it was only in the background but it wasn't quite...I never quite connected with Power Rangers yeah because I've got seven years on you I'm was in flipping... Black & White? No! Close! Bill & Ben? Nope

18:28 What's um no why don't you? And it was great yeah but there are things that you'd watch, like a schedule when you woke up sitting there watching it while you're eating your breakfast. Thundercats and I used to love them because Saturday Morning Telly was great for this and obviously this was kind of extended through the holidays and where you'd have a cartoon that they'd split into two or three different chunks throughout the entire thing to keep kids watching through the whole episode through the whole um like two-or-three hour show Cunning! Yeah, yeah I think there was a reason for that. It was due to advertising and all that sort of stuff but i didn't care quite possibly. Which segues neatly into Going For Gold which was a quiz show it was hugely popular and we had the bloke that was randomly on The Game for A Laugh

19:18 Who wrote the theme tune for Going For Gold? Hans Zimmer. Who's Hans Zimmer? He is one of the great, he's basically John Williams level of classical composer

19:58 I shit you not, Hans Zimmer. Multi-time Oscar winning... He is like gold royalty in terms of soundtrack production and he wrote the theme tune for Going For Gold! The full length version of it is available online as well because you only remember one verse I'm sure. And did he make big cash from this? Or was this a little...? God knows. I don't know how we got him to do it or maybe this was slightly early on in his career Crazy musicians. Yeah, but you know if you're gonna... that's got more staying power for me than they do. They're like gaming the system! Like I might be a fantastic classical composer and stuff but i know how to make quick bucks. But is there the audio equivalent of Tom Hardy reading Bedtime Story on CBeebies?

20:49 Which he probably has done. And he's done it and pretty much CBeebies are on to a winner here because they know the majority of people who watch that are mums and kids, and they know that if the mum hears Tom Hardy is going to be reading The Bedtime Story... That kid is watching The Bloody Bedtime Story! Come on, If Geoffrey Negladiators was reading this I'd be subscribing Jeff and the Gladiators. For some reason my mind flicked as you said that to the blonde haired woman that was always in clubs, she was famous for being... What Paris Hilton? No no way before her! She was like top row porn mag famous. Linda Lutnott though. No she wasn't even a porn star I'd have to ask my Scouse mates

21:39 The ones who bought magazines on, like porn for the road. Road porn! Which I never knew was a thing until I went to university and then we stopped to get some petrol but they were like Fags Rizzlers Pornos! What are you talking about? So i didn't do the justice when he did the accent there don't I? Hey hey fags rizzles pornos um So yeah, Olympics are on. Yes yes they are and I've been watching...I think this is one of the reasons that kind of catch-up TV is so good because in the past you'd have to stay up at night. It's a shit time of year. Midnight! Because it's Japan. It's not as bad as I thought but you can watch something like the morning things or watch the mixed triathlon relay until about 1am. I love the mixed events I think they are so so good

22:27 But then go to sleep and you wake up the next day and you've got all this catch-up stuff going. It's amazing! How did... like they just, I think there may have been more noise about the importance of mixed events or maybe it was just such an obvious thing to do that it didn't make much fuss but did they? Because there is like 200 different sports events. Yeah, how if your sports event is not in the Olympics you are pissed off right now? The squash fraternity are up in arms. Yes I couldn't care much less about squash. Badminton's in, squash is out what's that about yeah but who plays squash like rich coke tough weirdo

23:09 Rich goes, I'm gonna go down to the Maystone Squash Club on Saturday morning. Yeah they're like what are you talking about? We're not weird! Bunch of dudes snipping coke player squash really aggro. Well what can you have it?! Get up there!! The Jonnie Jensen Show.

23:49 And sculling and shooting and weightlifting, all the random stuff that isn't just run fast or jump high. But when you sign up to do the Olympics it'd be like a caretaker at school getting in the list of things to do for the upcoming parents evening and just going what the fuck The Jonnie Jensen Show. And it does make me, it still makes me feel that somewhere out there is a sport that I am fucking world class at. An event of some kind that I just haven't tried yet and I don't know whether its archery or shooting or toboggan or something There's something out there Cool runnings Exactly! I'm going to try one day and be world class at it

24:51 I have an ambition and i don't know how burning an ambition this is because, thus far in my life put enough effort into making it happen. To have the national anthem played for me as the winner! Representing your country? Now I had represented my country once for Aussie Rules But it was in a friendly rather than as a proper tournament type thing. I was never good enough, whereas my little brother is really good so when i was president of AFL Britain we actually sent a team over and he was part of the team we sent to Melbourne to compete for your country that's quite cool thing to do I think yeah but like you say I've never had it done myself! I'm gonna make a titty myself here...I get emotional when I see people getting their gold medal

25:41 And the flag goes up and I've actually had tears in my eyes this week. You can tell when it means something, can't you? You'll get some athletes they're like yeah whatever yeah this is just what i do and other athletes you can just see that's that's it the BMX scene totally i was going to say the BMX scene totally yeah uh Kyle White yeah no so yet the BMX racing that yeah Kyle White and Shriver? Shriver? The woman... Shriver. Yeah, because she's just it was her debut there is gonna be an Eddie the Eagle style movie made about her did you hear about how she got there yeah and then the crowdfunding crowdfunding all this sort of stuff but Kai White that guy from Peckham so I'm thinking he's from like that South London or yeah yes

26:28 So he had a wipeout about a year ago and they put him into an induced coma for four days because he had bleeding on the brain. Wow! so, he came second in his event which was flipping awesome anyway... And then she wins hers and she caned it so much I thought he was just picking her up to be like celebrating. She goes, I can't walk, I can't walk And then I loved in the, because that was in the BMX. So I love BMX being in this as well by the way it's absolutely brilliant! Um so that was in the racing and then you had the freestyle events and we won in that as well. She was amazing yeah and again the guy in there apparently he wiped out so badly of like just a few weeks ago he collapsed an eye socket or something stupid like that

27:13 And then on her run, if you haven't watched it watch it on catch up because the first but they get two runs highest score over the course of those two runs wins. In our first run she attempted this trick that no one in a women's event has ever done before and she smashed out. She knocked like she fell over. She just wiped out And then so most people would say, okay well let me downgrade my thing at least get a decent score on the board. She didn't fuck it no she said no guts no glory went through did exactly the same thing but nailed it this time and you were saying about The American who had done it earlier as well? It's amazing! The British girl wins with a reverse 360

27:51 But just prior to that, after she missed landing it in the first round. The American girl goes and does this epic epic round I think 90... 95 points or something stupid like that out of a hundred yeah And she had to land this never been done before trick tonight just absolutely brilliant Got 97.5 It's the stuff of dreams. It absolutely is an epic story and to have the BMXs just go so well for Britain is stunning, I love it! Yeah where do all these sports come from? Like you say though, catch up has been brilliant to actually watch all these random things Did you see The French Bloke, The Boxer today who had a sit-down protest for an hour? What?! I was stuck in IKEA so I haven't seen anything today...I've had my own sit down protests

28:42 I don't know exactly what happened because to me that wasn't the funny bit. The funny bit was always looking for the funny bit, right? Always looking for the funny... Oh by the way Kai White when they said to him what's this what can you say about secret of winning and being an Olympic medal winner And he said never quit always have fun Well it seems like a really good motto for life Coming out of a flippin 20 year old absolutely brilliant So the French guy, he gets disqualified in the final for excessive use of the head. Basically head butting And then as a protest, he did like a sit-in on the side of the boxing ring completely interrupting the rest of the boxing going on. But just after he started his protest... He needed to piss! So he went off and had a piss and then came back and did his sit down protest. Security should have said we're not letting you back in here That's what I think it diminished the impact

29:46 Please subscribe to the channel. No, you'd have done a Barry Fry and go piss on all four corners. Yes! For those who don't know about the Barry Fry thing he used to be the proper old-school English kind of chairman owner I think it was Pompey or Peterborough or something like that? No, Barry Fry owned Leyton Orient Well he did...I don't know if it was Orient but essentially they've been doing really rubbish and really really awful and apparently Apparently there was a curse and the only way to lift the curse was to piss on each of the four corners at a football pitch. And so he did, he took his trousers down had another little piss waddled over to another corner had another little piss and to be fair they actually did alright after that! But what in front of 20 000 fans? He might have done it on a quiet Thursday evening yeah okay

30:48 You'd have a bit of stage fright otherwise. Well I've had a lot of pisses in a lot of places, I've got to be honest basically holding the piss in is... I've got a bladder the size of a fucking gnat's bollock! My old man can quite happily like we'll go to a football match and we'll have four or five punts before we get at the ground another couple when we get there two at half time and he won't need a piss from start to finish whereas I'm like I need a piss More than once a pint. I think I've got about three quarters of a pint. Pint in, pint out! That's what it is. How do you drink so much liquid? Liquid... It doesn't disappear. Where does it go?! In his bollocks. That's why old blokes have big dangly bollocks. They're like a camel sack. God, I just don't understand it. That's why I don't like drinking beer and so much on the night out because it just- You end up needing the toilet all the time

31:45 One of my most, I'm not sure if it was like a triumphant memory or painful memory but we went out clubbing in Leeds And for some reason, rather than on the... because we were going back to Stafford which is a long way up. A three hour drive and we had been clubbing and it was like early hours of the morning and I was in a slightly different way from our night out. So in this twisted process of thoughts that I had, I somehow didn't mention that I needed a piss and instead chose to hold onto it the whole bloody hell

32:24 And I don't know, to this day. I don't really know why i didn't just say can we stop and because... It's horrible when I was a kid on long car journeys if they ever said that it what my old man who was the only one driving was like oh okay so I always felt really guilty about it and it used to really cause me anxiety So I've made sure all my kids have just said look if you need a pee Tell me, we'll sort it out. We'll get it done don't ever feel guilty don't ever start sitting there in pain and something just tell me just make sure when you do piss You get it all out Have you ever done a wee in a bottle in a traffic jam? Have I yeah absolutely

33:07 Because men's trousers aren't designed to get your cock out and piss in a bottle while sat in the driving seat. And also when you're sitting, everything kind of... women won't really realise this but your penile area shrinks and moves itself around so it's a bit comfortable so that you don't have a massive arm sitting down the side of your trousers the whole time that you can just feed into like a hose! There is a whole air differential issue going on It's actually way more harder than most women think it is. Yes, although they say they have a she-wee which we can stop and just have to piss up the tree basically yeah that's always there don't get me wrong I'm happy with my apparatus but i just there are moments when you think it should be easier than it actually is When I need to go these days I need to go about before lockdown so we were going back about two years ago now I went to the doctors

33:59 Because I was concerned about how it had become, when i need to go. I looked up online and said oh you might need to get your prostate checked which actually involves getting a finger up your bum. Not the worst feeling but... So yeah, so it turns out I'm fine. And you go back to daily chat? Yeah get my prostate checked regularly now! But no holding a **** in basically My boy loves the wild wee so he could go and do that pissing on the pitch thing. I think he did own Peterborough actually. Someone asked... He definitely owned Peterborough. Owned The Posh. And i think that was the club he did it at

34:42 Yeah I don't think i'm ever going to win a gold medal at holding my piss in. It's never gonna be one of these things that...I've accepted that I'm probably never gonna win a gold medal at anything! I believe, and my friend Athos and I we used to...we were good skiers when we were like 10 11 12 early teens that sort of age and it was around the Eddie Eagle time so there really wasn't a British... Was that 88? I'm going to say yes, basically. It had to be late 80s yeah but it was around that time if you had a modicum of ability and the determination to see it through You could fight...you could have done it so Yeah! It was close. It was like bit like the food delivery service or all the other ideas I've never followed through And now its just professionalized isn't it? If you've not been picked up by the time your dad's barely

35:41 The Probably not. And all of these people, they've been doing it with corporate sponsorship because that's the only way they can do it because the level is just raised up and up and up that it's not like you can just be amateur town planner or poet and turn up on a day No! Not on the day but did the BMX girls and the gang have been talking about their crowdfunding and all that jazz? Yeah yeah but the freestyle BMX so she had to emigrate to the US and sort of have competitions over there and again dedicate her life to it

36:27 X Games. Yeah, yeah good lifestyle though! Good lifestyle so back to my weekend adventures tell me about your weekend so it was given that we're now 47 right you know and everything that we used fun and wild, not that raving was necessarily illegal but they made it bloody illegal so you couldn't just dance in the field. So Maidstone now has like a festival area in Moat Park so they've got an area fenced off and then all across the summer each week there's a different event in Moat Park. This week was the classical Ibiza. There were a bunch of DJs who are not really that well known

37:16 I'm guessing these are kind of grown-up festivals rather than family ones? This wasn't... Saturdays wasn't a family one but there have been, well in a couple of weeks there's like what they call it when the band isn't really the band. A fake band. Cover band! Tribute back! Yeah tribute yeah yeah. Tribute, fake that or The Rolling Bones or whatever. You've got to love some of the names you come up with. Fleetwood Hack Badness. So, so it's classic classical Ibiza. They got a bunch of average DJs that there could have been 10,000 people at this place was so big but there was probably 800 basically and then it was supposed to rain all afternoon nice by miracle it didn't then it said is COVID compliant like airflow

38:13 The pictures from the last time I did two years ago, there was this giant tent. It was kind of... Pre-COVID wasn't it? Yeah pre COVID and so supposed to rain all afternoon get there completely open air not a single place to hide by some miracle it didn't rain then you had to buy these tokens to swap in kind of legal terms for alcoholic beverages 5 quid for a beer, sadly about standard now. I was in London the other day £7.20 a pint

38:51 £7.20 a pint? £7.20 a fucking pint! Oh this was just some IPA, just some random... I'm not talking about some sort of rare nectar-of-the-gods craft shit This was just whatever the bog standard IPA was But now they take a lager give it a bit of a zingy flavour and call it an IPA Yeah So that they can charge more And they do but yeah so five pound a pint sounds quite nice Oh and actually quite a good beer, you know like Whitstable Bay Lager. So they were kind of local craft beers type thing so gets towards the end of the night so now we've had four pints which for me

39:34 The Jonnie Jensen Show. The villa where I got horribly drunk. Yes, I lost a drinking game that night! So it gets to the end of the night and i'm going to get the last round not because it's late or anything like that but it's just that time and I was kind of aware this was gonna be about hour to go probably wouldn't go over there mate so I go over and chat into the guy

40:25 Now I'm not some mad blagger, like wangle something. But when i do just chat into people random stuff happens. People give me things for free or things... You're a very nice man! Yeah it's like you create a friend circle of trust yeah it's a safe place to be so I've got the drinks and we're having a laugh about ice How that, you know. It was a chat about ice. I then give him the tickets over and now i've got three tickets okay which technically is three quid But there's nothing on the list, although somewhere around the end of this story someone did say to me you could have got a bottle of water for three tokens which in hindsight would have been a very good idea. So I could see that a Jägermeister was four tokens okay yeah is that a Jägermeister on its own? No red ball? Just Jägermeister so i said to him what about a shot for but for three for some unknown reason he says

41:29 As he's pouring it, if you can net this in one I'll give you the same again. I like this man! I like how he thinks... So because at the end of The Night Abyssinian they've obviously made a shed load of money off this bar and so that he gets what would be the cup or that they were doing gin and tonics in fills it at least halfway full with Jagermeister. So probably like a triple shot of Jagermeister so by that time my four pints in I'm quite jolly and like, I can do anything! I can take on the world! I went to rave not really rave only 800 people there should have been soaked we're not soaked i'm with my beautiful girlfriend which is quite exciting our first night out first night out clubbing together basically

42:19 And so I neck the shot. I'm like, yay! I hadn't considered at all what was going to happen about half an hour later when the shot kicks in yeah? So then I turn up back to the crew and I've got gin & tonic for my girlfriend and I was like hey guess what they gave us this whole thing of Jägermeister she said why? And I say oh all i had to do is neck a matching one Even though we haven't been together that long and she hasn't really seen me drag, she did say oh how's that gonna go? So yeah about 10 minutes later I was literally po-going around at the front of the stage. Unbeknown to me some of her friends nicknamed me Zebedee! You might have to explain that for some of the younger listeners because i only know about it because my parents talked about it and so I watched some of it on the internet. Winnie The Pooh

43:15 No, you're talking about Tigger. Yes! Oh...Tigger? Yes! Yeah because Zebedee was from the Magic Roundabout. Oh! Yeah because that's a whole different era here. Maybe she did say Zebedee. Wow See this is what I'm talking about. I think my head is done, and not that you can joke about early stage dementia and things like that... No but firstly if you're being affected by it then you can joke about whatever you want because its about punching up! Oh okay? Yeah so for example a fully able-bodied fit healthy

43:53 The Jonnie Jensen Show. Those comedians are able to laugh at themselves and their own situation in a way that actually helps. It's endearing, it is them owning their own lifestyle and their own issues but yeah never punch down always punch up So in order for me to be able to carry on this self-mockery of my fading memory and inability to string sentences together... We've just gotta get you sectioned. I'm gonna have to go and get a dementia test! Do you think it's going to be like a piss on the strip type thing or is there going to be something more complicated? I reckon its fingers up your arse again Oh yeah!

44:46 Imagine that! Just like the Olympics, the increasing number of conditions that are tested by a finger up the arse and then in years to come there's like all these doctors they're held just like all the victors. The victor has got double pedophilia I reckon it is bet between the doctors and the rocket scientists We've go him to ride a dick to space alright we'll see if we can get him stick his finger up my ass a bit more Three million men have had a finger up their arse this year. For a cough! For made-up conditions I'm sorry sir but once again, i am going to have to stick another finger...

45:33 He's dying here. Have we got any proctologists in? He's got a cough! Fingers please, my neighbour the racist one he uh he's been getting stuck into doctors because he says they get they get 10 or a jab so for the covid he's like that's... Doctors have gone to hell in Britain because you can't even get in can't even get an appointment I can't even walk in what's going on and they get ten pounds of jab do you know how many get ten pounds of jab So, I'm gonna... Jonnie is slowly dying in the corner. I'm going to ask him, John have you had many? What is that must be a proper name for your finger at the bum? Well it's proctology but it was a rectal examination I think oh yeah well I told you previous pod about that time my dad sent me into the toilets in France with a

46:33 What they call it, the tab that goes up your bum? A suppository. I can't tell our listeners what podcast episode that was so i'm just going to tell the story again. Please do! And we were skiing. It was a very bad sore throat, but the coach back from Les Arcs to Geneva in those days took about three hours I pretty much whimpered and cried the whole way because my sore throat so bad When we got to Geneva My dad dragged me literally by the scruff of the neck into a chemist Yeah and said sort this fucking boy's throat out in like Rodney Fronglaise no in Del Boy Fronglaize right? So

47:12 So, we get outside the pharmacy. Of course we're in Switzerland so everywhere is super clean and there's a public toilet just across the way and he looks at me And he gets one out the packet and he wedges it in my hand. He goes, take this and stick it up your fucking ass! Your dad said that? Yes through gritted teeth! How old were you? I'd have been 10. Fucking hell... So I look at my step mum as she goes

48:01 It's a suppository, you've got to put it up your bottom. So age 10 I go into a public flippin' cubicle and insert this thing up my bum and then every three hours subsequent that was told to do it again. Sounds like something from Trendspotting! But I didn't, so I took a bird. So another one on the plane and then we got home and I didn't do it... ...I just flushed it down toilet but didn't mention my sore throat at all! So in the realms of parenting and doctoring he did make my sore throat go away. How the fuck is a suppository gonna make your throat better? That's the magic of medicine

48:41 How does any tablet know where to go? It just numbs all of you I reckon. I don't think it does because then you'd be like dragging a leg around if you're taking a Praxen, the Praxens lovely! It's like a turbo ibuprofen yes but it numbs all your pain receptors it doesn't numb your muscle movements on but numbs your pain because there's no way that he can say oh this fits her unless and what if then your knee hurts as well? Does it have to split between the two Where's the brain cells involved? That's the magic of medicine but like you don't accidentally open the kitchen cupboard on your head after you've had an napraxen or uh... I think next time you do just see if it hurts. Or like a diazepam and then maybe you're kind of like bumbling around yeah but i don't know! Yeah, I reckon we need some science on this

49:27 Jeff Bezos. Let's get the cock scientist... let's give, get some some cock suppositories wait we're back to Brian again yeah let's get some cock shaped suppositories and do some science maybe Jeff and his mates are all laughing their arses off because they're billionaires they can afford to build a rocket and he said to Branson... There has got be a bet in it! It had to be a bet. Yeah. Branson I'm gonna I'm gonna come second in a massive cock-shaped rocket. Whenever you go up, I'm going up a week later and it's gonna be in a cock!

50:06 Just to rub it in. It's great because it has got to be one of these clubs where they've got this ledger and in a thousand years time, they're going to be reading this going no they didn't. Yeah, what is he called? The bloke that went around the world in 80 days! That was a TV program in the morning! That must have been it, that must be what's going on right now. So yeah those blokes in London betting each other And this is why I'd be a shit rich person because i'll be betting some fucked up shit. It would be so fun! Branson here, Bezos! Right now I know you could go around anyone could go around if you've got a bit of money in your pocket Covid notwithstanding. You could go round the world in 80 hours like if we wanted to right now obviously my kids are upstairs so they might argue about it but yeah we can just do it whereas back then I think the next epoch is getting quicker and quicker and quicker. I'm going to Mars on a cockshite rocket In eighty days

51:16 It says Bezos, Branson and Musk. Did Musk go up? No he didn't. No no Musk hasn't yet but all of his stuff just is super cool it looks cool it looks sci-fi And they're doing it the right way, the public way. And then all of a sudden Cockrocket came out in the blue I didn't even know Cockrocket was... Branson's been doing Spaceship One or whatever for like 10-15 years and then Musk has been talking about all of the SpaceX stuff. I didn't even know Cockrocket was happening! He is so rich he's something like his budget

51:58 Or NASA's budget is a quarter of what it cost him to do this thing or whatever basically. So you've got like three or four dudes who have more money than the rest of the planet and so they can now tinker... You would, wouldn't ya? If you had that money you would! It's much more fun than cleaning up the plastic rubbish slick in the Pacific. Yeah yeah we could save the world. Oh, we're going to outer space! For how long? We can do 30 seconds at the moment. Okay I'm in! It's a billion... okay i've got a few billion yeah and how long can we go for? Do you take Apple Pay? Wait shit, or Amazon?! I'm not paying that cocksucker any money

52:52 Who's in charge of Apple these days? Oh they're not doing anything fun are they, what? No they've gone dull. They've got some...they've gone quite corporate quite bland although they're waiting for the next big personality to come through I think Oh, but I don't need to at the moment. They're still raking it in although not on my fucking laptop which isn't working and that's another whole story yeah that is another whole story we should have you got time for today no not so many things on a list now we could have talked about oh yeah I had loads of facts about how much gold medals worth Oh no, I do. Well the Olympics will still be on next week so we'll get to talk about that It will be and with a one hour shit tonne more gold medal Yeah because I do want to know about that Because i was fascinated when they said they made the medals out of recycled stuff Recycled not stuff! Mobile phones oh okay And then they showed how big the new medals are and Then they told the Olympic people don't taste them bite them kiss them because We haven't tested...we're gonna talk about this next week

53:55 Don't bite it because we haven't tested it for biting. The first thing I'm gonna do then is I'm going to bite you know? It's like saying here's a red button don't press it! You're gonna press the f***ing button! All pissed up doing Jägermeister shots, needing a piss, licking their medals... So listeners watchers What's the longest you've ever had a piss in? Where is the most random place you've ever had to have a piss. I must get, oh here is good one Have you ever...have you ever had a piss whilst on a Zoom call because you couldn't leave the session but were able to casually have a piss under the desk Not even a zoom call on a date A ZOOM DATE!

54:39 Mate, if you're on a four-hour date and it's going kind of well. You're kind of thinking I don't want to interrupt this she's not leaving anywhere but there is only so long it can take So let's just do a bit of maneuvering It's all out of screen She can't see shit Yeah Well, I'm gonna put that on the list next conversation Because back in the day when we were like in our 20s And yeah When I lived in London Not that I pulled very often But at times I did pull Or I had a girlfriend for a period of time and you'd be staying at her house but it would obviously be a shared house. There's only really one toilet, and then you wake up when you're in a strange house anyway And then it's like okay well I really need to piss so my tactic would generally be go to the kitchen find some kind of bottle out of the bin

55:25 Like a tin, empty tin of beans. Empty squash bottle. I can just see her catching you rummaging around in the bin saying... Never got caught! I will share more of this very awkward, possibly awkward story in next week's wrap-up. That sounds good! So how can people make sure that they can hear the next weeks' wrap up? Well i'll tell you the best way to catch the wrap-up would be to subscribe if you go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash get podcast I have engineered it that not only will you be sent a link, but that link will recognize what device you are on and we'll send you to an appropriate podcast service for your device. Oh, you're making it so easy! It's like a rectal examination for your ears.

56:19 And if you want to come in to the community and be part of this awesome, irresistible network of men creating our best dad life ever then teamsuperdad.com forward slash group will get you on the power list and everything that you need for that. Don't forget every person who brings a friend and can prove that they've brought a friend I'll buy your beer! Yes all we got do is come see me come and see me and we'll buy your beer The picnic's happening On the 21st of August, Teeson Park in Maystone. So if you're in Abizajan, Edinburgh, Peru, Chicago... not quite as convenient! Fly over? But yeah but you're still welcome. Anyway anyone in the South East Kent south London come down to Teeson on the 21st. Perfect. Okay I'll see next week You will indeed and I'll see you as well Let's get ready for that outro See if we can get it to come in slightly quicker than the intro came in

57:14 This is Radio Gold. Yeah, this is slick as f**k. Team Superdad! This has been Team Superdad Find us at teamsuperdad.com Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children You are not alone You're on Team Superdad