Football, Sex & Food Fights - The Wrap Up #37

00:00 It's Friday. It's that time of the week and it can only mean one thing. Yes, it's the Team Super Dad wrap-up. It's great to have you with us. Rolfy. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Welcome, Dad. It's great to have you here. As always, before we get started, a little request from me. Go and subscribe to the Team Super Dad podcast. It is the best way to make sure that you get the latest episodes exactly as they come out.

00:41 I'm sure if you're listening to a podcast, then you know exactly how to do this. But stop where you are right now. Go and subscribe to the Team Super Dad podcast so you never ever miss out. And then once you've done that, go and share it. Share it with other dads and men you know in your life so we can spread the word and help as many men, as many dads as possible, live the life they desire, being the man they want to be and the dad their family needs. Let's get on with the show. Welcome, welcome. We are back. It's a Friday night this week. Really good to have you here with us. Glenn, good to see you, sir. Good to be seen, Johnny. Good to be seen.

01:23 It's been one hell of a week emotionally, work-wise, but not physically. I've kept my steps down just to compensate for the shit that's going on. Keep your steps down. So you increase the stress levels and decrease the work levels. That's how it works in it. It's like a graphic equalizer. You just got to make sure you don't have one out of time with the other. That's right, isn't it? Flow. Flow. I'm not sure it's quite the right ideal of flow, but it will certainly do you okay for a couple of weeks. Yeah. Whether that change. Everyone seems to be busy. Oh, well, hold tight. Let's do the proper intro. It's great to have you here with us. It's the Team Super Dad wrap-up. We do this every week. It's two dads chit-chatting.

02:08 Just like we're in the pub. We're catching up at the end of the week. We're chatting a bit of topical stuff, a fair amount of piss taking. And this week is no different. There is some topical subjects, which shouldn't really be that funny, but you know, just like two men chit-chatting about the random things in the world, you do find the humor in it. And that's what we hear. We do on the wrap-up. You might have heard in the week, what did we have this week? Oh, E.A. Solkovitz. That's his name, E.A. Solkovitz. Absolute dude. I'll tell you all about it in a second.

02:47 But to any of the people listening, if you didn't hear that podcast, go back and catch it. Guy's a millionaire, 65-year-old total dude. But that's what we do in the week. We do a serious one, which taps into and supports you with your focus, fitness, finance, family, or fun. And then on the weekend, Friday night, Saturday morning, we do the wrap-up, which is all about having some fun. So whether you're in the car, whether you're in the flipping garden, wherever you are, there might be some swearing. So let you know that in advance. And please, if you're watching, good to have you on board. You can share your comments, take the piss, say hello, whatever you like. And if you listen to the podcast, then great to have us in your ears.

03:30 Please subscribe and leave us a review. Boom. Team Super Dad.com. That's basically who we are. We're working with dads, helping them create their best lives ever. So if you're a dad, if you know a dad, and to be fair, if you're just a bloke who wants to come and be part of all this, then you are very, very welcome. Come on over to teamsuperdad.com forward slash network and you can join our free community, get all the good stuff. Tuesday lunchtimes, we do an hour's free training, coaching on all sorts of subjects. We do this. We've got firewalking coming up in September. Loads of good stuff. So come and get involved.

04:12 And then without further ado, let's get on with the wrap-up. Glenn, good for you to sit there and listen to that every week. Hey, I've been sitting in this chair for a lot of time this week. I had a quick look today. Within sort of nine to five hours this week, I've had 54 hours worth of meetings booked in. And I don't know how much longer that's possible. I've got three things coming up on top of my normal job next week, each one of which is meant to take about 90% of my time. So I'm just having to say no to so much. It pains me because it's always the stuff you want to do that you have to turn down.

04:54 True. But in the almost immortal words of... of Guinness Book of Records, not Norris McWhirter, who was the guy, the trumpet player, the Roy Castle. Roy Castle, delegation, that's what you need. Yeah, that's what I've been doing. I'm trying to get more people on board. Just I need more staff. That's what I need. A lot of staff. The right staff, but more of them. If you want to be the best, then stand out from the rest. Delegation's what you need. Yeah. Did I see a bloke having a heart attack?

05:39 Did you ever? Well, no, I haven't seen a bloke having an art attack. But my old man did. So this is something I've got to be really careful on. He had a quadruple bypass when he was 42. So I've only got two more years and I beat his score before my first one, whenever that is. But yeah, I mean, he lived a terrible lifestyle, I've got to say. Much better now, but you know, smoked 60 to 80 a day. Used to eat, take out most time, high-pressure job, no exercise. Sort of man who one of his favorite treats would be after like grilling a load of pork chops, would just get some salt, sprinkle it over the pan, and then like use a bit of bread to soak it up and just eat that.

06:22 That would be one of his treats. So yeah, he's much better these days. Six sugars with his tea. That sort of bloke. Still. No, now it's none. No sugar. No, he's retired. He retired at 54 or something like that. No smoking. And he only drinks when England or Spurs are playing. Wow. Don't get me wrong. He makes up for it. Yeah, he's not anywhere alert like he used to. Much, much healthier. You go round. Sky sports turns on. He's smoking, drinking. Yeah, he's 61 now. So he's got another 20 odd years out of this so far. And long may it continue.

07:05 But yeah, there was that bloke. You're talking about the bloke on LinkedIn. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If you haven't seen this, it's just a guy. I saw it via the New York Times. And basically, he was at work and he was starting having a heart attack, a proper heart attack, and he knew what it was. And the first things that went through his mind wasn't, oh, I'm never going to see my wife again or my kids and all that sort of stuff. It was, in his words, I'll read it out. Fuck, I needed to meet my manager tomorrow. This isn't convenient. How am I actually going to secure the funding for this project? And shit, I haven't updated my will. So how is that the first things that flash through your mind?

07:46 I can understand the will bit because that's what you do remember. Like you think, you remind yourself to do something and then three weeks later, you go, oh, I didn't do the renew my insurance or change the tax or pay that parking ticket or whatever. And you think, oh, it was yesterday. And you go and look and you go, oh, that was three weeks ago. Are you kidding me? Yeah, 213,000. When last time I looked, 213,000 likes or clicks or... 260 now. It's amazing. And the thing is, it's worth having a quick look. He's come up with a load of six rules that he's basically going to change his life with.

08:27 He's not spending all day on Zoom anymore. I feel that. I absolutely feel that. He's restructuring his approach to work. Not going to put up with any more shit at work again. Life's too short. Which I think is true. We do put up with a lot of shit day to day. So sometimes it is worth saying, you know what? I don't need this. I'm logging out. It's going to lose some weight, 15 kilograms. So, you know, that's sizable. Wants every day to count for something at work or he's changing his job. And weirdly, the last one he's put would probably be my first. It's, I want to spend more time with my family. So all of his were still around kind of work things. And I think he's on the right. Yeah, I think he's on the right path, but he's still got a way to go for me.

09:11 To all our American listeners and viewers, you know, and plus all my family in Chicago. So I do feel like I have a point of reference with Americans, but they're a little bit upside down with the work stuff because they get like half a day off a year or something. It's not in their DNA to not work. So that's probably where that comes from. But yeah, I wrote a, I didn't even see that until it got till you mentioned someone else shared it with me. But I wrote a post today and it was called the you-life balance. Rather than work-life balance, I called it the you-life balance. So focus on you and focus on your life. So you make sure you've got enough time you're dedicating to you so that you can be.

09:54 the best version of you for every other part of your life. Because if you don't give, if you don't give enough time to yourself, how can you possibly give the rest of yourself to everything else? Which, yeah, I agree. And you need no matter how much we want to be there for other people, if you're not whole, if you're not sorted yourself, you can't give yourself. And even if you're only giving yourself a fraction to other people, actually, it's like the Facebook thing of you don't want a bigger slice of the pie. You just want the whole pie to be bigger. So that slice is bigger. And if all you're doing is trying to make everything else a bigger part of that pie, the pie shrinks and there's just less of it. So yeah, make the pie bigger and you're the pie. Don't get fat.

10:38 That's what I'm saying. You pie. I love that as a like, that's just a brilliant like the put down, isn't it? You, you fucking pie. You can make anything an insult if you like say the word absolute in front of it. So any random, you absolute coat hanger. It's an insult. No matter what, you absolute floorboard. It works as an insult. I love it. Yeah. And you can't really get in trouble for it. I might, I might let my 11-year-old know about that as a possible. I was talking to one of the mums in the park. Her boy's in the year

11:20 above mine. So he's at secondary school. And I don't know. This is a bit of just a weird bit. The school were like seeing the kids' text messages. So they would text each other talking about porn. Bearing in mind they're in year seven, so about 12 or something. So he got hauled in. Oh, no, he he didn't get hauled in. He had his phone taken off for some other reason. Then the school would look at the text message and saw all this chit chat about porn. So then I spoke to the mum, but he didn't actually know what it was. Bless him. Clearly, someone had an older brother. That's what I'm thinking. Someone had an older brother. So he thinks he's in on the conversation. But he thought it was some kind of music.

12:04 He was talking about it like that. And not only did he get in trouble, but he probably looked a complete dick as well. So, well, the thing is, if you didn't know before, he bloody does now. Yeah. Oh, sure. I must have done something like that when I was a kid. Surely I did. Pretended I knew something even though I didn't and then got rumbled for it. Hey, that's that's my that's my uh my career days. My career and my um uh my kind of dating life overlapped a little bit uh over the past day. Uh because I try and keep them separate. So I've got I've got a work Twitter account and I've got my dating dad Twitter account. A busy bastard and a dating dad.

12:49 I wish I'd been that literate. No, my work one is just my normal name and that's professional and all that sort of stuff. I've had it for years and so on. But I very rarely use it. And I use my dating dad one all the time because it's just it's not anonymous. It's pseudo anonymous. But you know, people know who I am, but equally it's not it's not totally linked. So I'll just post any old shit on it. And I posted up something yesterday, just to throw away things I normally do about the fact that in work, as we're starting to go back into the office, and I'm going back into the office for the first time next week, everyone seems to be bringing their bloody dogs in. And loads of these people have bought dogs over lockdown.

13:29 And these dogs have been with people 24-7. So through every bloody meeting, they're all jumping up and interrupting and barking and playing. And I don't dislike dogs. I just don't like them. You know, I don't actively like them. And everyone, every time some bloody dog gets on the screen, everyone stops. And you're expected to ask about the dog and talk about the plan. I don't care about the dog. So I was like, am I the only one who isn't looking forward to going into an office and having a dozen dogs running around? Because that's what they're doing. And they're barking and fighting. And I just, offices are not places for dogs in my mind. And it's just the boss. Like the boss is allowed to bring their dog in and there's like one dog.

14:14 If it's one dog, then that's bad, but it's not the end of the world. But anyone's allowed to bring their dogs in. And if everyone's got dogs and they're all used to having their dogs around them all the time, they're all taking their dogs in. And I just just was, and most people were like, they didn't really like the idea of dogs in the office. Those who had dogs, absolutely, not all of them. So yeah, most people didn't want them, but there's a small number who have dogs that just can't wrap their head around the fact that anyone doesn't like dogs. They're like, the only way I'm going back into the office is if there's a load of dogs in it. I can't believe anyone who. who hurt you, all this sort of shit. And somehow, someone related to my real life saw it, commented on it, then someone else saw it and commented on it.

15:03 And before I knew it, I've had, I'm now followed by the former head of the digital civil service, by the head of the Welsh local government digital service, and by founders and the most senior people out there who are all getting involved in this conversation. Loads of them started following me. I'm going to have to start soft blocking them because I can't have them. And this is on your daily dad profile. Whereas if it was at IT support profile, you'd have been loving it. Wouldn't care. Wouldn't care at all. But you know, when a post a couple of days earlier was just points, just sharing the fact this is the longest I've ever been without sex in my life.

15:43 That's not that's not what you'd share on a professional account. No, when you're having lunch with the head of the civil service and their digital transformation process. So, yeah, I've got to work out what I'm going to do with that one. I'm hoping it dies down and the hundreds of people commenting and whatever just stop. Oh, but dogs, blimey. Is it a thing? I mean, if you're listening, let us know. Let's let's uh is it is that a thing? Is that how just everyone's thinking? What if you suddenly want to take your cat in exactly? Why do you get to take a support dog in? Why can't I take my support tarantula or my support llama? Where's the difference? And what size dogs are we talking? Are we talking chihuahuas or our literally everything from handbag dogs right up to horses?

16:28 It seems they've got no because dogs are just so varied, um, and everyone's just bringing them in and they just don't don't see a problem. And the thing is, as well, they're like, oh, yeah, we check and uh make sure everyone's all right with it. Who's going to be the person to say, you know what? I don't want dogs in the office. No one's going to be that person. And so you're forcing dogs in an area where it's got they've got no place in terms of business. They don't add anything to the day. At best, at best, they're a distraction in the office. And realistically, they're going to be pissing everywhere. You're going to be getting up, walking, they're going to be barking and fighting. And oh, I just, no, just no. Just don't do it. I just, I'm lost for words. It's not often I'm lost for words, but I just didn't, I didn't.

17:12 That's how out of touch I am with an office environment. Believe me. Well, in terms of talking about a touch, my boy, this conversation's come via his mum, really, but they're talking about biking. He's going to ride his bike to school. There's some conversation about riding his bike to school. Has he done his cycling proficiency? Well, he's in the year six, so it is coming up basically. But I've been riding with them on the roads probably since he was about six or seven. Basically, he's more of a blanco now on the roads than he was. Can't believe it. 11. He's just a mong about most things.

17:56 He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it. It's just his brain's gone from a highly developed child's brain to a completely bowl of mush teenager brain. Yeah, I was like, I mean, I did ride my bike to school a few times when I was a kid, but the social part of going to school is bloody brilliant. I mean, how could I think? I think she's concerned that, you know, bullying and some other stuff that might go on on the bus. But I'm like, that's for starters. I made loads of friends on the bus and it also was 35 years ago. But it's a right to pass. They had buses back in your day, yeah? Yeah, buses. Yeah, yeah, totally.

18:42 Says you from London. How did you get to school up in London? Buses, you were lucky. We had to crawl on our hands and knees through the mud three times a day, 20 miles. Got dropped off once you'd done your chimney sweeping round. Yeah, when Fagan let us go. I don't know. I just, I just feel like kids, you've got to go, you've got to go to school on the bus. Although in America, they, you know, on your TV programmes and there, they get on those yellow buses and there seems to be a whole hierarchy of

19:20 kids or Simpsons and the bus driver. I just, we've got the train for a bit, we got the bus for a bit. I wrote on the window of the bus once, Martin Creed is a dick. And then about three days later, Martin Creed and his mate came up to me and my mate in town. town and he was a lot shorter than me, older than me, but a lot shorter. And he goes, I heard you wrote my increased dick on the bottom of the bus window. And then he punched me in there.

20:00 But it was only one punch, and it kind of got me behind the back of the ear. So it was because he had to sort of like jump up and I took it. I did it, you know, it was because it was just hilarious. These kind of moments, you know, I think, I think, obviously, some mums would hear that and they'd be horrified, but that to me is just you know, a bit like Ghostbusters. If someone asks you if you're a god, you say no. If someone said I might dick on them, but then I did write it, and it was something to do with a girl, in fairness. And I do know it was something to do with a girl called Louise. So, but

20:40 I had a bus ride to school, but it was on that cusp of distance. So it was just a bit too far to walk normally. But I didn't have much money. And so I knew my mum used to, my name was my school chef, so that sort of covered the food. But she gave us 70p a day for bus fit. Was it 70p? Yeah, about 70. So 40p in the morning, 30p on the way home. That's what it was. This was old days, you know. And I realized that if I wanted to buy books for myself, because I was a massive nerd, then if I walked to and from school, I walked past this little second-hand antique shop type thing. And so I realized if I was saving money, you can buy a book for 70p, 99p or something like that.

21:20 Trouble is, the little old lady who ran it, she mistook me for someone else. So who really loved books by Alistair McLean or something like that? Some like World War II writer. And so she'd save these books whenever she got given them. And me being me, I was too polite. So I ended up buying these books and I had to read them because then the next time I went in there, she'd ask me what the book was like. How was it? Was it nice and lovely? So I had all these fucking World War II books on my shelf that I'd read. I had no interest in them. And you never saw that. At what point did I not? No, at what point was it? Like, that's not me. That's somebody else. Oh, one of my dad's wives, wife number four, she got wind that I like liver and bacon.

22:05 And bloody did she make me liver and bacon. I was like, we just save it in the bus. Oh, brilliant. Some more. Yeah, okay, brilliant. I mean, it wasn't like, I've already got like three in the freezer from last time. Okay, so the lesson we can learn from today's show so far is don't have a heart attack and do have balls to tell random women in your life who think you are either into something or enjoy something that you don't. And just realize that if you don't go to hospital for the first one, you'll go to hospital as a result of the second. And you can fit your own words into that sentence to fit, you know, to go basically. Yeah.

22:50 I'm doing a duathlon on Sunday, Glenn. A duathlon. What is a duathlon? Is it where you duel with pistols at dawn whilst doing a marathon? That was what it was. I got challenged earlier this week to with the gloves. And yes, me and the Duke of Duke of West Balling will be no actually a run, a bike ride, and then a run. So there's three legs of this. Yeah. But it's a duel. No, because a triathlon would be the swim cycle. You only do one run, one bike, one swim. Why is a duathlon not a bit of a swim, bit of a run?

23:36 Because I guess that wouldn't be too much of a physical challenge. You reckon? Or, well, no, it kind of, I guess it takes the format of a triathlon, except it's only got two sports in. So, well, either there is an answer to this, which our friends at Google have cunningly worked out a way for us to find them on the internet, or we don't care, basically. But your favourite bit of it, what are you best at? The running. I love running. I mean, it's not enjoyable. Clearly, none of these things are that.

24:18 Why do it? Why do it then? I love the mental and physical battle. I feel like as it's burning, and I'm like, come on, push harder, push harder. Come on, sit down, sit down, sit down. That voice is in the back of my head all the time. It's quite old. I get that voice all the time. When I'm sitting down to work and I'm. I'm tired, or you know, it's like I do get that voice, but so the voice in my head is strong on both sides. The you know, the Darth Vader and Luf. But, but yeah, which do I prefer most? I don't know. I don't. Well, when I did a triathlon, I swam in the sea.

25:00 That was, there's something fun about the start when you're all in the water and you just kind of pour like clawing over each other and you get a kick in the face. And that's quite exciting. Well, I tell you, actually, I thought that was exciting. Last time I did one of those starts was about 10 years ago. So it's funny how things aren't quite as fun when you're 46 as when you were 36. Apart from sex, apart from that. Yeah, that never gets old. That never gets old. I'm guessing as you get older, it gets a bit more surprising, though. No, I'm still works. Still works. I'm fully back in the swing, fully back in the swing now. You've got a swing. The swing is back up.

25:43 I don't got a swing. Although I wouldn't rule out a swing. Someone did tell me something remarkable this week. He said, Oh, I had a date with a she male the other night. And I was like, oh, blame me. I mean, that's not a sentence you often hear. It wasn't. I said, well, I've just got a girlfriend for the first time after five and a half years. So we're like, it's been a week, it's definitely been a week for both of us. But it was interesting just that different people's kind of there's this is fits in the same subject is it is an interest about doing things you haven't done before an interest in feeling challenged and excited by the possibilities of life and uh and this guy i'll tell you he

26:38 he's a he's he's crazy and a good guy you know but like there's that there's like an ex there's an extremeness to him that that is irresistible you know um okay but clearly to all sorts of people but uh but yeah when we'd be at festivals and stuff he'd be like the last man standing and you know there'd still be people going up to him saying oh how's it going like yeah do you mean like like he'd just be like the pie piper like the pie piper basically um so yeah so on the duatalon thing these kind of experiences do they appeal to me they appeal to me one of the guy i had on the on the podcast anthony willoughby he's a uh an explorer uh

27:25 goes and hangs out with nomadic tribesmen and he's gonna be he's he's coming up i don't know if he said it's his 70th birthday or his 75th birthday he's he's got become very active on linkedin recently and so he's doing a three-month trek across mongolia and whatever the country is next to mongolia and he's like he's inviting people to go with him and i was like oh yeah brilliant i'd love to do that and he goes it is three months who's going can you imagine you get as much time you get yeah you could just go yeah yeah well that's the thing not only do i get as much time off as work as i want um also after three years and after five years i get sabbaticals and they pay for my family to go on holiday so what i could do is uh when that happens just find someone else to take the kids and i'll off to to mongolia um

28:20 everyone's a winner you get and they're gonna they're gonna be trekking and camping and like like flipping bedouin tents and and that sounds cool jack's milk and and probably be like cowboys getting really pissed around a fire and throwing rocks and shooting guns and that's that's that's one of the reasons i want to retire early is so that i'm still young enough to be able to do that sort of well yeah it's time's ticking though glenn i've got to be honest um you're 40 i am 40 yeah yeah i'm six months into my 40th year and i'm not not best pleased about that fact are you gonna have a blip 40th birthday uh yeah yeah i've told you i've told you about my 40th and i my um my gatsby themed

29:10 party oh i know he's spoken about the roaring 20s being the roaring post lockdown everyone goes yeah even yeah well it's saying even before all this i'd already decided that um my my 40th was gonna be uh a great gatsby themed party and it's gonna it's what what i want is for my party to be one of those parties that kind of goes down in legend as really like this is the way you do it. And I was going to be getting some sort of London venue, live, like jazz bandy type stuff, doing modern covers. I was going to get food and it was all fancy dress. And it was going to be just. Can it end in a mashed potato fight? A bugs with him alone. Can we do that?

29:56 I wouldn't have been averse to that. But it was just going to be so, it's just going to be something that's really, really good. And I'm still going to do that, but I can only do it when I can guarantee that everyone I want can turn up and that hotels are open because everyone's going to be in London somewhere and people won't want to be going back all over the country or into other countries and so on. They've just got to be able to stay where they are. Dude, that would be the perfect ending, right? As we get into like the last half hour, 20 minutes, they just come round with platters of mashed potato and the odd spirit. It couldn't have been anything that we wanted to be. And some people wouldn't get it. And the rest of us,

30:42 but yeah, so that's that's what I'm definitely going to be doing for my birthday this year. If not this year, then definitely next. Whenever it's going to be, my 40th birthday is going to be celebrated, even if I'm going to be 41, 42 at the time. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be brilliant. Loads of stuff like that. Like the blip. I think more people should be talking about the blip. I said it the other day. I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, you know, Avengers, Endgame, 2020. Like, we're going to like, I want my 2020 back. I'm owed. There's things I'm owed, basically. Things I'm owed. Glenn's birthday. Yeah. Yeah. So watch this space. And I am going to be inviting just random cool people.

31:27 I'm not talking about, you know, Robert Downey Jr. Just there's going to be a load. There's going to be a load of people on Twitter who want to come along and sort of people I've never met in real life. And so, yeah, I just, I just want as long as people are dressed up and their names on the list, then they can come in. You've got to come along and you've got to bring Patricia with you. I know. Sally will be well up for that. She loves a party. Fancy dress, though. 1920s. Dude, we've totally nailed it. The ending bit, because I've only been having this idea this week. I said to my son, we were driving down to where were we going?

32:06 Oh, I think we were going to Tina's actually. I said, I'm going to create, I've got this idea for a business. It's going to be a kids' party because it's like kids' party things always make money, right? But it will be a the idea is you go for dinner and then it just all it descends into a food fight. So the is a food fight. So everyone talks about it. You go there and literally you play musical chairs, pass the parcel, bring the food out and then and then it just and then they just bring loads of food. The only intention is that you just throw it at each other and have a massive food fight. And then once the party's over, that you go in, you hose down all the walls and Bosh, in come the next lot.

32:50 The trouble is that when you're serving soup, it just doesn't work as well. I don't know. I just think kids would love it. I think they'd be, I think you'd be stacked. You'd never be short of customers. All I can see is cocktail sausage sticks poking out people's eyes and kids with a chicken nugget up their nose. You know, nothing like a normal day, but it would have to be throwing appropriate, appropriate food for throwing at others. I think it's a good idea. If you want to bring your kid to a food, to a party venue that ends in a food fight, which is basically what you're saying for your birthday anyway. So it's going to be brilliant. We're going to make it this time next year.

33:34 I'm going to have to give the bouncers special kind of instructions to watch out for you turning up with this kind of what looks like a like a guitar case come walking in through the front door. Just no mate, we're going to have to check that. Check that out the door. It's a modified nerf gun. Mash potato, mashed potato. Well, do you see the there's a submarine that has gone missing this week, Glenn? A bunch of Indonesians have crashed their submarine in the sea. I know it's not very funny, right? But I just my telly's just turned on. I think this is the power of the submarine. I'm going to go on mute for a second while I shut that up.

34:18 So yeah, you keep chatting, keep chatting. Oh, Phil, I'll fluff this up. Yeah, so it's a, and I don't know why. I don't know why I thought it was funny, but you hear them talk about this submarine and they kept saying. kept saying it's old. It's really old. So, in my mind, I imagine this kind of like wooden submarine that's pumped, you have to pump the air in it and stuff. But then, when I went and looked it up, it's a bit actually a little bit sadder than that. But surely, there's a process for if a submarine goes down, like bits of stuff float up to the top. I mean, if you can fire a missile from a submarine, surely you can fire a

34:58 flare, a dinghy. Have you ever seen, have you ever seen what's that Tom Lanks movie? Shipwrecked. Shipwrecked. It's the most epic start to a film. The plane's like, yeah, and it hits the sea. So, what you're saying is the Indonesian Navy doesn't have enough Wilsons. Well, you just gotta, what you've got to do is you gotta, because I've worked if ever I'm on a plane that's gonna crash, I know what to do now. You wrap the life vest around you, and that at a strategic moment, as the plane dives into the sea, you pull the thingy bob, which inflates the life jacket, and you bob up to the top,

35:41 become the only survivor of the terrifying ordeal of a plane crash at sea. I'm absolutely certain it's that easy. It happened in a movie, right? I've been watching more episodes of that, uh, of that Last Man on Earth program. It's good, isn't it? It is dark, but it is good. It's so funny. I watched an episode last night, and two new women. So, for anyone who's not watched it, this guy is the he thinks he's the last man on earth because this virus has killed everyone. And he drives around America and he keeps painting on road signs, I'm alive in Tuscan.

36:23 And so, now, after like two and a half years, whatever, random people are popping up in Tuscan. But, sadly for him, spoiler alert, sadly for him, he chose to marry the first woman that turned up. She wasn't January Jones turns up second. The blonde one. Yeah. Yeah, she's done. The wife from Madmen. Oh, I've not said, oh, I do know about it. I'm not watching that. But if you were the last man on earth, like him, and he could, he could shoot it anywhere to live and say, look, I'm alive in X, where would you choose to live?

37:02 Well, he went back to where he came from, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. But why? You can live anywhere, anywhere. Well, anywhere in America, because he wouldn't be able, he wouldn't want to sail across the Atlantic and stuff. But he's got North and South America. True, true. So maybe a bit. And we, we, I mean, we could, if you really wanted to, you could, you could get over to mainland Europe, couldn't you? You'd find a way of doing that. Drive down to Dover. There must be like a boat. You could probably bloody swim it. Yes. And no, I couldn't swim it. But yes, I would risk at an appropriate time of year a channel crossing to France if I was the last man alive.

37:46 But that's very different than an transatlantic crossing. True. But where would you live if you were the last man on earth? Well, California, obviously, you've got access to mountains to go skiing. You've got the sea. You've got Napa Valley, wine. My brother actually pretty much lives like that in France at the moment. Lake Fantasy, the mountains for skiing. I think I would go and put myself somewhere that had mountain and sea, sun, yeah, something like that, basically. I thought that I might pop over to Paris and go and stay in the Louvre because I thought that's like a grand cool place.

38:28 And you can spend like days and days and weeks a month just wandering around the Louvre. Then I realized, knowing my luck, while I was in one of the rooms, kind of the anti-theft lockdown alarms would shut, all the blinds would close and the doors would slam and I'd be fucking locked in there. That is a curiously deep level of thought about something that started off quite fun. Yeah, you know, I've thought this. You've got to think this thing through. Where are you going to go for your last man? Where are you going to go for the zombie apocalypse? You need plans. Fail to plan, plan to fail. Oh, there's loads of things. I watched a program. I watch a program, I've got it on record.

39:11 Abandoned engineering. Oh, I love that sort of show. Brilliant. You've got all these mad places that are just being abandoned, like a town in America. That used to be a mining town, and then the train stopped going through there. and the town dried up. Some mad tunnel bunker thing that the Nazis built in the middle of the mountains somewhere. A sea in Russia that dried up because the Russians diverted the water. This is true. The Russians said, Oh, we're going to send the water that goes to that sea. We're going to send it over there because they're farming stuff and we need the water for all the farms up. It just dried up the sea.

39:54 It's mad, isn't it? Mad. But the abandonment of these places fascinates me. It really, really does. Because these places would have taken a lot of effort to build. And for a while, they would have been people's lives. Tens, dozens, hundreds, thousands of people focused on an area, a town, a city, a facility or something that was just like there. And then it's not. Then no one cares about it. What? I remember going to, there's a have you been to the secret nuclear bunker in Essex? Near Braintree, I think it is. No, was it like a war thing or? Yeah, well, there's big signs that say secret nuclear bunker this way.

40:37 And it was a 1960s, 70s, 80s underground bunker. And you're thinking for years and years and years, this was one of the most strategic, this was where prime ministers would have gone if a nuclear war happened and for hundreds of soldiers and all this sort of stuff. And they don't need it anymore. So you're allowed to go in there. They've kind of got some dodgy mannequins and you just wander around like hanging out in. Is it good for a Gatsby birthday party? It would be perfect for a Gatsby birthday party. They wouldn't let me, but absolutely, it would be perfect for a party. A full-on rave. Yeah. Yeah. And no one would hear because you're all underground. Oh, perfect.

41:19 We need an outlet for our rave culture. That could be perfect. It's just not enough. Not enough. Not enough space for rave. I'm part of a group on Facebook called 90s Ravers, right? It's huge. It's like 40,000 people. So busy. Proper busy, busy group. And it's been funny because recently a couple of people have posted things like, I don't know, toilet blocks. Shit flowing over the top. I've tried to flush it. What do I do? And so about five or six people try to help. And then everyone else waits in and goes, what are you doing?

42:06 This is not what I'm looking for. Take your toilet tips and piss up somewhere else. That being said, that being said, genuinely, I was watching something recently where, oh, it's probably a TikTok or something. Plumbers are raking it in because everyone's at home using their own toilets all day every day rather than going into the office and using the industrial ones. So everyone's plugging their toilets up and breaking stuff. And you can't get a plumber for love law and money because they're just absolutely overworked. It has never been a better time to be a tradesman, to have a trade. Because, you know, a bit of furlough, not bad. Well, they've probably got a load of jobs to do by their missus. So their house, their house is looking great. Now they're pleased to be back out of work.

42:50 They're rushed off their feet. Charging loads, probably. You know, supply and demand. I'll let them have that. Yeah. Would you advise your kids to have a trade? I think there's a lot to be said for having a trade. I think, absolutely. It's not going away either. Electrician. Every car is going to be electric. That's got to be a good trade, surely. Be electrician. Yeah, my next door neighbours are Sparky and he's just busy, busy, busy constantly. It is one of those things where, like I said, because everyone goes and sits and works on computers and they think all the kids these days want to be YouTubers. Where is that next generation of actual practical people coming from? Plumbers, yeah. I tell my boy, my boy's not going to be a plumber.

43:35 Can't get him to piss in a toilet in the water or just sit down. Come on. Come on. Come on. Oh, Glenn. I tell you, it wouldn't be a week. We need to talk about the football a little bit because it's just been, you know, if you're listening, you're not into football, then tough shit, basically. But it's been the maddest week of my footballing life. And this is not just about Spurs here, but Spurs' level of madness within this week has been brilliant. We're in that group together and you was it you that shared the thing about Monday? Monday

44:22 Monday drew one all again or lost Tuesday. Six of the clubs decide to form their own league, randomly, Tottenham are in it. And that's the thing. Jose Mourinho is one of the biggest managers of like ever. And us getting rid of him, it wasn't even the biggest story of the week. You know, he was behind being Spurs being mugged off by the Julux dog, you know, dropping leads against rivals and all that sort of stuff. And then fucking European Super League bullshit. What the fuck is that all about? Did you see the quote or the press release?

45:05 Was it JP Morgan today? No, no, I haven't seen today. I think it was JP Morgan or KPMG. I'm pretty sure it was JP Morgan that you had to Google it up, right? They were the people, they were the company that they chose to put the legal together. And today they tried to distance themselves from it by saying they would never have got involved if they'd realized what level of upset that it would have brought. But it was like you pulled the apology out of a cracker kind of thing. Or Viz, it was like Viz had written the apology, basically. Yeah, apparently we clearly misjudged how this deal would be viewed by the wider football community and how it might affect them in the future.

45:48 But the scary bit is they say, we will learn from this. That's a fucking threat, isn't it? Next time. I mean, from Spurs' perspective, I still can't, I can understand it because, you know, we're one of the rich clubs, but how the fuck have we got in with that sort of a group? That's mental. It's all the American, it's all the American stuff. And this, this to me, is the interesting part about the chit chat: you've got basically a group of American owners now who are very powerful in European sport.

46:24 So the idea that they would put millions, let alone billions, into a club and then that club could get relegated or might not qualify for next year's competition. Like imagine the owner of a baseball team and then someone goes, oh, sorry, man, we had a bit of a bad season. We're not going to be in the World Series next year. Sorry. Yeah. We're like, what are you talking about? I literally, Talk Sport had a couple of Americans on this week and they were literally going, What are you talking about, Wilson? What are you talking about? You mean in Europe, you can like you lose, you get relegated, you do what's

47:06 reda, what? You know, like, you just couldn't. And I just can't comprehend a world where relegation and promotion aren't naturally part of it, where it's all protected. I can intellectually, I can understand why they think it's a good idea, yet the entire rest of the world understands it is not a good idea. And it just, I think that was the only element about the whole thing that outraged me. Big European clubs getting together and coming up with an alternative to the Champions League. You know what? I don't care about that. That's fine. You go off and do that thing, whether it was for real or whether it was just to negotiate a position, but it was the closed shop thing. That was a thing that just I've never seen football fans united like that.

47:51 Never. Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher basically have loving about it. Gary Neville talking about how amazing Liverpool fans are and Gary and Jamie Carragher talking about Alex Ferguson in kind of glowing terms. And I love them. Jordan Henderson called a meeting of all the captains. I would have loved to have been for me in my head. I envisioned it. You know, like the Warriors movie where they all turn up in their colours in New York. And I just could, I guess, imagine them all kind of rocking off and with, you know, a couple of their mates, all in their uniforms and club colours.

48:35 Scouses in their tracksuits. Yeah. Liverpool, come out to play. But yeah, it was just mad. And to be announced out of the blue and then to make such a massive problem. Jose Mourinho is the only manager in history to be fired from a European Super League club, by the way. Yeah, they were in. He was out and then we were out. And I wouldn't, you know, there's still part of me that thinks Daniel Levy just got involved in European Super League so that you could kind of hide the Jose Mourinho muddle and mess.

49:13 Or he fired Jose. just so that he would look like a good guy. How can you fire Jose and still come out of a week looking like a wanker? It's just we'll come back to that point. But one point that did flipping startle me, they made allowance for four teams who would qualify based on previous success in the Champions League. So if you were a team and you had a bad season, but you've been in the Champions League previously, you would be invited in.

49:55 And that's the Champions League revamp. That's what we're going back to. No. So the European Super League said they're going to have five positions open to domestic competitions to go into. They never actually got round to specifying how that would work, but it was 15 core teams that would always be in it, and then five teams that would be invited. So basically, they'd pick and choose who are the most profitable ones, probably. But the new Champions League format involves the leagues, the little playoffs within the leagues, but it's not just done on domestic status. It's also done on previous UEFA coefficients. So absolutely, there's no way that Real Madrid, Juventus, Barcelona, Man United, those clubs will always be in this now because once you're in it, it's almost harder to get Chuck kicked out of it than it is to not stay in it.

50:43 Yeah, so they're just paying lip service to these American. Sorry, it's not all about American owners, but Cronkart. Is he American? Yeah. No, he is American as well. Okay, but they're playing lip service to these guys who are saying, it's so funny, actually, when you realise it's like this. They're saying, well, we don't like the fact that you can't naturally qualify. It's like buying a house next to an airport and then starting a petition about the noise of airport. Exactly that. I believe how loud this is. This is outrageous. This must stop. They're flying over at all times of day. I thought they'd fly over once or twice that day. I didn't realise it would be crazy all day long. I mean, this is outrageous.

51:26 And they're so loud. I mean, like, do you know how low they are? Loud and low is how many of those American owners are currently viewed. Absolutely bongos. So that four club flipping back door thing is the new Champions League. That's the proposals, yeah. Football's, well, fucked. Football is fucked, basically. Yeah, and my worry now is because they saw off this Super League, now that think they must think that gives them a mandate of support for these new Champions League proposals when they are every bit as bad and every bit as rubbish.

52:06 But everyone thinks, you know, because we got rid of Super League, that's fine. Don't worry about it. We've won. Yeah, we haven't won. If it wasn't for that, we'd all be looking at this Super League revamp, this Champions League revamp, saying, how crap is that? Yeah. Well, hopefully that'll happen. To be fair, I mean, the footballers are annoyed as well, which is good to see that they're actually piping up as well. A bunch of players today, Gundagan had a right-old go at it. Klopp was not very happy. Peps said something today. So none of the Spurs players said nothing. Right now, they're going to come over the tannoy at the training centre. Ding-dong. Harry Kane to Mr. Levy's office, please.

52:51 Well, they're not going to be going into the gaffer's office. He's younger than they are. I know. But it's like the Simpsons and Mr. Burns. They're just getting if you can't be naughtier, you end up at Mr. Levy's office. But I do love seeing Ryan Mason there. For those who don't know, he's a 29-year-old former Spurs player who had to retire at the age of, he'd been at the club since he was like six years old, played for us and played football until he was 26, and then he got a bad head injury, had to retire, but then has gone back to Spurs, done his coaching badges, and he was ahead of our under-23s, the kind of development stage of things. And now, the day after tomorrow, as we speak now, he's going to be leading his boyhood club out as their manager at the age of 29 at their faith, not FCAP, a league cup final at Wembley.

53:41 I mean, that's Roy of the Rovers stuff, innit? It is. And for that reason, I hope we. Yeah, yeah, for no other reason whatsoever. I was at the... And this isn't, again, this is for our non-Tottenham fans, this isn't about Tottenham. This is a kid's memory. This is a memory of cup final memories. Everyone's, oh man, it'd be like seeing your team at a Super Bowl or seeing your, you know, I was at Wembley watching Tottenham. Tottenham. I had two tickets to the League Cup final. And I, uh, the Leicester final 1999. Is it 99? Yeah, 99. Yeah. So, and I decided to take my little brother.

54:25 I don't know why. I just felt because I had memories of my dad taking me to the UEFA Cup final. So I thought that was kind of a defining moment in a young lad's sporting kind of life. So, yeah, we're at Wembley at the Old Wembley. So, yeah, I have that in my kind of memory bags. I went to watch my team in a final. Okay, it was only League Cup, but it was still A final. It was at the Old Wembley and we won. And there was this like mad. I ended up about six rows in front of where we were sat on the floor. Where's my little brother? I'm like trying to work out what's going on. It was pandemonium.

55:08 Absolutely, absolutely brilliant. So, yeah, who knows? Play in Man City, though. We'll see. We're going to get splattered. We're getting splattered. But you know what? Now that we're going to play good football, I don't mind. We're going to give it a go at least. Yeah. I hope. I hope. It could just be, right? This whole thing that's going on in all of life that's going on right now, there could just keep being these mad things like all this happened in a week. It's happening in 72 hours. Talksport were laughing about the fact that they'd given some bloke the title of ESL correspondent.

55:49 They gave it to him on Monday. And it's just the afternoon. So these things could keep happening. You know, Kenya. And no, who's got divorced during lockdowns? Kind of just went quite one of the Kardashians. So you've got all these things happening. And I'll tell you what's tell you what's even more depressing. The ESL has lasted longer than any conversation with any woman on a dating app that I've had all year. Oh, Glenn, what's happening? Did I make? I don't know. I mean, I'm swiping. I'm swiping and I'm swiping and just I'm getting nothing. I'm not going to be able to delete these things anytime soon.

56:32 What about my theory of it's a maidstone thing? Well, as in, you want to re you want to bring back UK Garage. What if you were like in London or in more of a city? My bracket involves London. So this isn't where we get to the stage of where do you live? And I say, Kent, and they just blank me. This isn't even getting to that stage. No, I mean, so your radius is 50 miles. Okay, so yeah, that's pretty much North London as well. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fairly okay with distance wise. But yeah, I'm going to keep going. What's in the river? I'm from North London.

57:13 Right now, I don't live south of the river. I live north of the channel. North and East London are the only places that are worth knowing, really. Okay, so here's my theory on, and I can't, I'll blur it. So here's my theory on dating apps and why they were so bad for me and never worked. Was I don't think they work, basically. That's my theory. I also think there's like a universal kind of spiritual type force thing that unless if your vibrations are all off, then it ain't gonna happen, right? Okay, so there's something off right now for you, Glenn. Like the door is closed. The door is closed. Work out why the door is closed. And then you need to open the door in order for this flow of passion and love.

57:58 You're saying I need to shove a crystal in my chakra. I think it's more about it's in going on inside you. It's in your, it's in like, it's when we talk about vibration, it's what you're giving off. So yeah, you're what you're thinking about, what you're expecting, what expecting things to go wrong, expecting. I'm expecting a match. That's all I want. If I get a match, then I can start a conversation. I'm fairly okay with words. Just come on, women, just match with me. Give me a chance. I think that anyone who's a seven above has been swiped right literally tens of thousands of times.

58:42 So they're either now in a relationship, maybe all shagged out, maybe, or they've got such rich, or they're done. Mostly it's the odds thing. So average on any app is between eight and ten to one. In terms of men to women, that's not talking about attraction. And for every attractive woman, it's probably. probably more like 30 or 40 to one. And I'm not saying physically attractive at all. Yes, that is a big thing with the visual nature of swiping apps, but any woman who is deemed attractive probably has 30 to 40 times as many men who would swipe on her as she would swipe on them.

59:22 So she's getting every day dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of men swiping right on her. And so even if she's swiping right on just a handful of them, she's got analysis paralysis. She's got so many options. And of those, a massive percentage are going to be dicks. They just are. And so all she's going to see is there's a decent chance she's going to, just by sheer lack, just by luck and numbers, she's going to miss the good ones and engage with the shit ones, and that puts her off. Yes, so you're doomed on that front. So my theory, and it is kind of proven by my burgeoning, flourishing relationship with Love Life girlfriend,

1:00:07 that telling slash asking other women that you know who's single that you could introduce me to, I think that offers a better chance. If only I've thought of this four years ago and hadn't spent four years asking my friends to set me up, and if only my friends had actually done that once, even once in four years, then I'd be able to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. So maybe we need to go like six separations. So you need to say to me, Johnny, do who what women do you know around this area that we live?

1:00:45 I'd say, yeah, I do know some. Then I could say to them, do you have any single mates? Because I've got a single mate, because I no longer am single. I've got a single mate who is a dude and would be great. I'm not asking for much. All I'm asking for is a part-time scientist, part-time lingerie model who always wanted kids but can never have them by herself and lives where you know lives close for that woman I'd get on a bus no I know but she can't be like an hour away you know sorry surely hours the limit genuinely I've most almost every woman I've dated over the past couple of years has lived more than an hour away I think only three in that time have lived closer than that um but even if they live in sort of clapham common or something that's still an hour a quarter hour

1:01:34 and a half yeah okay so watch this space uh glenn and i are going to go on a mission uh especially now we can go to the pubs again so it's it's definitely happening so we're going to go we're going to go to a pub uh we're going to have pre-drinks at yours and finish off those uh 32 nearly finished bottles of spirits stumble into a local pub meet said blind date go for a pizza finish with a food fight and then um i don't know and then go steal a submarine steal a submarine watch the football and have a heart attack at midnight

1:02:16 what a day i'm here hey what a way to go as well what a way glenn it's good to uh good to hang out buddy um we could be in multiple different places by the time we get together next week um so let's let's hope they're good it's going to be my birthday in three weeks time three weeks blimey may the 12th wednesday may the 12th uh 47. so hopefully um we'll be uh league cup winners um uh hopefully we'd have filled the f5 team super dad members if you're listening uh the f5 may's intake of the f5 is filling up now so come and get involved in the f5 my

1:03:03 12-week dad life booster basically it's absolutely brilliant and uh and uh yeah and if you've got any single attractive uh scientist uh model uh level uh women sisters friends then uh put them in the notes uh tweet us uh at a dating dad but keep it clean because um the head of the civil service is now following uh Glenn yeah I'm gonna do some soft blocking action I can't I can't be doing with this what a week see what a week what a week let's hope we survive another one mate so we can do this same time next week yeah well the live we're gonna get some get this podcasting thing out get my second uh pod mic and we'll be recording from a uh a Kent based pub in in just uh just a few weeks

1:03:57 time I've no doubt can't wait mate can't wait wait. Good. Sleep tight. I'll see you on the other side. Team Super Dad gang. Thanks for joining us. Like, subscribe, share, and come and join the group. Team Super Dad.com forward slash network. We'll see you there. Bye. This has been Team Super Dad. Find us at Team Super Dad.com. Join the program and create the best life ever for you and your children. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad.