Do What Others Wont - To Get What Others Want

00:02 Welcome to the Team Superdad podcast. This episode, we are going to talk about doing the work. You know, the secrets of success are not really that secret. It's just that most of us won't do what we need to do to get what others want. Roll thing. Welcome to Team Super Dad. Real dads creating their best lives ever. More time, more money, more fun. You are not alone. You're on Team Super Dad. Hello, everybody. Good to have you back here. The latest installment.

00:43 We've had some challenges the last couple of weeks with my podcast streaming, but that's okay. We're back and we're caught up as well. So if you are on the podcast, if you're a subscriber to the podcast, then you'll know that we've caught up. If you're not yet subscribed to the Team Superdad podcast, well, get yourself over. If you go to teamsuperdad.com forward slash get podcast, then it will take you straight to the page where you need to go to subscribe to that. It's good to have you here. We are motivated modern men creating the life we desire in our work, in our family, and definitely for ourselves as well in our personal life.

01:24 Too many men hit midlife and it's all just a bit too hard work. It's not quite what we planned. It's not quite a satisfactory level of, I mean, it might be achievement in one area, but it's the other areas that like bug us. It's the other areas that drag us down. So if you're thriving in work, but your relationship is struggling, then ultimately it will all come crumbling down. Your fitness, you can't be super successful in the dad of the year and be staring down the barrel of a heart attack. It's clearly not the way forward. So if you're interested in taking part in all of the work we do, we've got the upcoming power code 28 day program kicking off, then get to teamsuperdad.com forward slash 15 call

02:13 and you will get a discovery call with me to talk about what you want and how the team super dad process can help you. But anyway, back to the series. We have been going through the power code. The power code is my methodology for creating the life you desire. We've done P for purpose. We've done O for ownership. And now we're on to W for do the work. Doing the work. Literally, the secrets of success are not even that secret. It's a well-trodden path. The problem is only a few people will actually do what it takes to get what everybody else wants.

02:51 You know, the title of today's episode, get what you want by doing what others won't or do what others won't to get what they want. It's the same principle, right? It's why only a few people are Olympic athletes. It's why only a few people end up on stage or winning competitions. And, you know, the scale of success, you know, how many football players, men or women where we're at today are in the Premier League. And yet how many people, men or women are lining up today for their football team ready to play a match.

03:31 So simply being out on the court, out on the pitch is better than sitting there watching, hoping, you know, whoa, why is it not happening for me? You have to be on the court. But the degree to which you can stick with it, the degree to which you can be consistent and create positive habits and routines are what really matters. And that is where the difference lies between people who just dabble in something and people who go all in to create the result that they're really looking for. And in today's episode, I'm going to break some of that down for you as the introduction to the next couple of weeks where we'll be looking at the closer,

04:14 looking closer at the elements of do the work. If you look at your day-to-day habits and routines, most of them won't be actually something you've put together. It won't be something you've consciously created. It's something that we just get up. We know we've got to be somewhere at a particular time. Maybe that's work. Maybe that's your business. Perhaps there's a school run to be done in between. Like the routine that we create for ourselves is more often than not been created by circumstances rather than something we've consciously put together.

04:50 And that's the difference. If you want to get up in the morning and set yourself up in the right way to plan your day, to do some exercise, a bit of journaling and meditation. meditation, getting some water into your body, eating the right breakfast. You can't hit snooze on the alarm clock or on your Alexa and just expect it all to suddenly fit in. You know, you're going to need the time. So that creates the necessity for a structured routine, for discipline. And if you're going to put those in place, then you've got to have a real reason, a real reason to do that day in, day out, which is everything we're talking about here in the power code process and in Team Superdad.

05:36 Let me just go back to that expression. You can say it a million different ways, right? I've heard it. I've heard it said at events. I've heard it said on other podcasts. So it's not something necessarily I created. I don't know who created it, but you've got to get what others want, you've got to do what others won't, right? And that is the core essence of do the work. In part of it is habits and routine, which I want to talk about, and also the effect, you know, noticing the results that you're having and staying committed to it, even when those results aren't quite where you're wanting to get

06:16 to, but noticing and appreciating the journey. Because that is also the essence of motivation and commitment around doing the work. Many of us, if you look at New Year's resolutions, diets, fitness regimes, even myself, getting super fit last year and then literally falling off the wagon, struggling to maintain it around the injury and other stuff that was going on. It's not always enough to have it all in place. The goal, the process, the support, you're going to have ups and downs, okay?

06:52 But it's about being able to see through them that gets you the results that you want. And the people around us who have pushed through that, they are the ones that are not stopped by the experience of failure. They're not stopped by the self-doubt, the idea that I don't know what's going to happen. What if it doesn't work? It hurts. It takes too long. I'm too busy. You know, they're not stopped by those thoughts. And it's about creating that for yourself. You can't just pick it up off the shelf. You can read books. You can go on

07:33 podcasts. You can download or buy some sort of, you know, course, but it is ultimately about you putting it into place and creating a structure around you for doing that. So that is what we're doing inside of the power code. And I encourage and invite you to jump on that call and find out what you can do to be part of that and what you'll get out of it. So do the work. Habits and routines, okay? What you eat. I'm going to go through five elements here. Okay. It's called cut the crap. That's about what you put in, you know, crap in, crap out. That's about what you eat.

08:14 It's about your food, your water, really the idea that our body is a machine. It's a high-performance vehicle that we have to fuel properly. Then your morning routine, which by the way, is kind of linked to your evening routine as well. But as a machine, what are you doing to ensure that your body and mind is primed for the results that you want? So we're going to talk about morning routine. Exercise fits into many parts of this conversation. But at a base level, what kind of exercise are you doing? What have you put in place? What structure have you put in place to get yourself to a state of physical fitness?

08:52 Not that you have to win the bloody marathon or play in the Premier League, but that you can wake up with energy and focus each day, where you can play with your kids, where you can bowl up some steps with a couple of bags because you're in a rush for a train, where you can have great sex with your wife or partner. It's about a level of physical energy that's going to sustain the lifestyle that you want. And hopefully, at this age that we're all finding ourselves at, have you lived longer? Have you been healthy long enough to enjoy your retirement, your later years, to being a grandparent, exercise, particularly as we get older, the importance of resistance training is vital for our body to stay healthy and fit.

09:39 And planning, number four in the do the work process. Planning is a bit of a Achilles heel of mine, keeping a diary, structuring our calendar, being. being able to look ahead to what's coming up that day, to what's coming up that week, what have we got to execute this month to get to where we want to be at? Here we are today on the 15th of April. That's like coming up a third of the year that is already gone. It's kind of bonkers, really. But planning from we just went through through day, through week, through month, through quarter, and then you know, looking at a 12-month plan.

10:23 People talk about longer plans than that, and they are definitely vital, they're important, they're definitely an important part of focusing on the results that you want in the future. But if you start to get too focused on a five-year plan when you've never even managed a day-to-day diary, then it's going to be overwhelming. You're not really going to get any results out of it. And results is where you find the momentum. It's where you find the commitment, you know, is by noticing the results and what you're getting out of your activities. And that is what will take you forward, is what will have you get up the next day. And then finally, the fifth element is finances, managing your cash flow, managing your money in and money out.

11:04 I don't mean becoming an accountant, but on a basic level, most of us, most of us are not keeping a conscious track of how much money we actually need and then how much money we're actually spending. Where energy goes, where attention goes, energy flows. So rather than hiding from the reality of our financial situation, focusing on it, addressing it, managing it gives you the greater chance of improving that situation, of thriving in the area of finance. You know, when we hide and constrict from something, guess what?

11:45 We get smaller. Fewer opportunities come our way. Life gets harder. It's about being as big as we can possibly be. It's about embracing challenges. So, yes, that's important for your cash and finances, managing a month-to-month cash flow, creating ideas around how to make money, new business ventures, who you're networking with, who your mentors and peers are, what you're actually learning in terms of finances, money-making opportunities. It's all part of a creative process that will take you forward. So, they're the five elements. And, like I said, we're going to look into those in more detail over the coming weeks.

12:26 But today, I want to focus on some of the in the second half of today's session is focus on the thinking behind doing the work and momentum. Doing the work is an upgrade to how you currently operate. Where you are today is a byproduct of everything you know and the work you've put in. It's not an accident, it's not bad luck. There may be highs and lows, whether that's in business, whether that's in your relationship. What we have to realize is across an 80 to 90 year process, there are naturally going to be highs and lows.

13:06 It's about how you are managing them to take you through them in an effective and successful way. So, doing the work is an upgrade to how you currently operate. And you've got to think about this, you've got to get honest about what your routines look like. Because I promise you, it's not like something I can like, maybe, maybe not. Everything you do will be a routine. The direction you take to work, the order in which you put your clothes on, brush your teeth, have a shave, like there is a routine there. So, what you've got to do is have a look at whether that routine is really working for you.

13:47 Practical example with my kids, getting my boy to school on time wasn't happening. And guess what? No surprise, the school didn't lay the school weren't too happy about that. And we got the email back, probably a phone call as well. As I remember, this was about six months ago. Being divorced, it brings an extra level of an extra little tickle when you get those kind of emails and calls come in because whose fault is it? Like, there's a lot of like, um, and this was this was all this was all on me because it was the occasions when he was with me.

14:28 And ultimately, I could have a go at him all I wanted to about what time he was getting out of bed and why I wasn't giving himself enough time. But it was the structure around our whole morning routine that I needed to assess. And so, I went backwards and made sure that what was happening the day before, what was happening even across the week, was set up so that. so that we would get up on time, so that he would be out in time. And so that not just once or twice, but so that consistently there was a routine in place that would have him be at school on time. And so, whether that was shopping, ironing clothes, cleaning shoes, doing washing, now, right down to the time that we were going to bed and how ready we are at the point of bed is going to determine how your morning goes.

15:15 So, any routine that you have, whether you created it consciously or not, is a routine. You've got to decide if it's the one that's going to get you the results that you want. The next step on from that is about habit creation. You know, so once you've looked at what's what routine, what structure you've got in place, it's about turning it into a habit so that it happens without you even thinking about it. It becomes an unconscious action, right? Someone like an Olympic athlete, over the period of time it takes, even someone like a flipping farmer, right?

15:55 The period of time it takes to get up each day and run that business. It would be hard for the average person to get up at five o'clock in the morning and run the amount of distance that an Olympic athlete might run, or do the amount of work that a farmer does before the rest of us are even thinking about getting up out of bed. But that is the habit that they've created for themselves. And for people that are creating a new habit, whether you're good at this, whether you've got the mental strength and resilience to do this or not, the process starts with small, attainable parts of the habit.

16:32 It's important to have the big goal because that's what excites you and moves you towards it. But habit stacking is where you get to take on a new part of the process. So, if in the power code, we talk about your morning routine and the importance of drinking water, kicking your day off with a pint of water. That's the habit we start with. Can you do that consistently over seven days? Can you do it consistently over two weeks? What are the results? Then, with that habit in place, you can then start to consider whether there is time in your morning routine, whether there is mental capacity to then do the 10-minute journaling and some meditation.

17:11 If you try and take on too many new things at once, it's simply going to overload. It's like trying to juggle. You've got to start with a couple of balls before going to three, before going to four. Habit stacking, I was first introduced to by James Clear, phenomenally successful book, referenced all over the place. But, you know, there's a lot of examples and guidance of the ways in which you can form habits. But the one that stood out to me most inside of that book in particular was about the practice of habit stacking. So, when you're taking on a new habit, don't take on 50 at once. Look to take on one or two, set the challenge, move forward, and use

17:54 the mental strength that it creates, let alone the physical strength or the financial results, but use the mental strength that it takes to start introducing new habits. Inside of cut the crap, when we ask people to start looking at how much caffeine they're taking on board or cigarettes, drink, you know, whatever the even bread and coffee, right? When you can start to look at what do I get out of eating or drinking that, and what would it be like to give that up? That is a habit in itself. That is something that we can habit stack and create that strength. And the final part of it, a concept I learnt,

18:34 I guess you could say, most had the biggest impact on me was a guy called Darren Hardy and his explanation of compound leverage, right? The compound effect. And this is the result of putting together the output of consistent action. So, what does it look like if you do press-ups for one day? It doesn't look like anything. You might even just look like, oh, that was exhausting and I got nothing from it. When you start to do those same 10, 15, 20, 25 press-ups a day at the same time, yes, we're talking about habit stacking there, but the result, the result is called compound leverage.

19:20 And that is the result of doing something consistently over an extended period of time. Because the growth comes exponentially. You make bigger leaps when you're doing something regularly over an extended period of time. Of course, then you can do it over only doing it once and never doing it again, but also only doing it occasionally and hoping for the same result, which these two elements of habit stacking. stacking and compound leverage take me back to the point at the top of today's session of you've got to do what others want to get what others want.

19:56 And that's not about being a bazillionaire or winning gold at the next Olympics, but it is about creating the life that you desire and being frustrated at not having that result. Sorry, my nose is incredibly itchy for some reason, which is obviously of zero interest to people listening on the podcast, but to people watching, I keep rubbing my nose. Yeah, compound leverage and habit stacking. It's the result of doing something consistently over time, which is where you get the reward. There is no other trick to it. To get what others want, you've got to do what others won't.

20:40 The secrets of success, right? That's literally it. The secrets of success. They're not that secret. It's just that most of us won't do it. So, but to finish on, we have to all remember that we're just everyday blokes. We're everyday dads trying to juggle all this stuff and make everything happen. So most of people who will be watching this or listening to it, the people that when I start working with them inside the Power Code and Team Super Dad, it seems hard work. It seems like, how am I possibly going to achieve this? But that's the problem. We look at the result we want, it seems too big, and then we don't know where to start. So we don't even do it.

21:18 You know, even in relationships, we know what we want, we know what we used to enjoy, and yet here we are in the middle of it all, it not going quite the way we want, and we don't know how to fix it. You can't fix it in that moment. You can't fix it in one conversation. You've got to have a reset. You've got to start to put the actions back into place to put the relationship back on track, to bring the energy back, to fall back in love, to bring the passion, to have the love, to enjoy great sex, to carry on and create the relationship you want for the next 25 years. It can't happen in the moment. It has to happen moment by moment, continuously over time.

22:00 And the accountability and support of doing that is absolutely vital. To be doing it in a group where others are going through the same things, where others are interested in celebrating your results, where there are people who are ahead of you, and you can be like, how did you get there? And there's people who are behind you who you can get the bars out of saying, it's okay. I was there X months ago. Now look at me here. Can I support you? Or try this? It worked for me. That's the power of the group and the power of accountability. So don't forget to join me next week. We're going to dig a bit more into morning routine and what some of these activities will do for you.

22:44 Why is drinking water, a pint of water when you get up important? What does a cold shower do for you? Why the hell would you want to meditate or write a bunch of stuff down in the journal? The morning routine will set you up for success. And time and time again, the people who are smashing it, they talk about, oh, yeah, I do that, I do that. So who are we, the rest of us, to think that we can create what they've got without doing what they've done? It's just not possible. So hit me up a comment or a replay if you're watching on the replay. If you haven't subscribed yet, you can always

23:22 follow me on any of the socials so that you see these lives when they're coming up. You'll even get the invitation to next week's live. And the subscribers, the podcast subscribers, I love you. You're the original crew. Let's hit me with some of your Apple podcast reviews. They're always very helpful. And of course, share this live with other men in your life who you believe would benefit from hearing this message. It's great to have you on board. Come and join the Team Superdad group, teamsuperdad.com forward slash group. I can't wait to get to know you and have you on board. Team Superdad out.