Believe Anything Is Possible - podcast with Lean Warrior Dean Coulson

00:00 Welcome to the Team Superdad Podcast. In this episode, I'm joined by the Lean Warrior Dean Coulson We talk burnout martial arts and fighting big blokes with dogs Roll theme! Welcome to team super dad real dads creating their best lives ever more time more money More fun you are not alone You're on team super dad Hello Team SuperDad friends, family everyone around the world it's good to have you here we're back at the team super dad podcast my name is Jonnie Jensen the founder and creator of The Team Super Dad program and The Hero Academy which will find out more about as it kicks off in September. So what's going on? It's summer here time stamping this for anyone who's listening in the future but it's hot hot hot and

00:54 It's the summer holidays so kids we're just managing all of that that comes with that. Being a co-parent, and divorced co parent I have them here and then don't have them here and trying to juggle that is it's a challenge is something that anybody who experiences it will know all about And of course if you in a relationship Then you'll know what about juggling some holidays as well whether your work off work taking a holiday and that's before flipping Corona comes into into the mix It is indeed a crazy time all around the world. We're due away on Monday, Monday to France to my brothers, to Jim and Andrea's in Lake Annecy it's going to be beautiful and epic the cousins just can't wait to see each other it's been too long but even then it's all kind of hanging in the balance because Boris our Prime Minister he could put a pin in France at any time to put that on the quarantine list

01:50 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior If I mention it you're not allowed to all go there right but Abersock in Wales, it looks absolutely beautiful. If you know that part of the world let me know and in fact if you are listening welcome! The Team Superdad Podcast is all about dads, busy dads creating their best life ever. You know life is tricky and quite often what we planned what we hoped we could have achieved is not actually what's going on and we're fed up, we're exhausted, we're working our ass off... excuse me! We're working our ass off without really feeling like it's going anywhere

02:44 And you may be incredibly successful and have all the challenges that come with that or you might be, working towards creating your own success. But for dads who want to have the home, money, lifestyle... For dads who want their own business, have their own business, wanna increase their success start a second income You know thats what its all about Your fitness and your health as we will talk about in today's podcast with The Lean Warrior is equally part of that I'm Awesome at something, go on Amazon they'll have a book or something. Look on podcasts such as this we've got some amazing guests being lined up some Olympians, some fighters and soldiers and business gurus they're all being lined up to come onto the Team Superdad podcast let alone the coaches who are been lined up for The Hero Academy

03:54 If you're interested in the Hero Academy, be sure to look out for The Summit. We are running an online summit on September 19th so if you're listening ahead of that make sure you get over to TeamSuperDad.com forward slash launchpad That's teamsuperdad.com forward slash launch pad and you will find out everything you need to know about our half-day summit which is an intro um...to The Hero Academy So the stuff online on September 19th is a complete The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

04:38 As for tasters, make sure you give everybody you know a taster of the Team Superdad podcast. Please please please feel... click like, click share and feel like you're helping out by giving us a review You know if you're listening on iTunes or not on your phone head over to Apple Podcasts because that's a great place to give us a review and of course with your own Google Spotify Stitcher, Acast. If you go over to the TeamStupidDad.com forward slash podcast you'll be able to get links to all those places where you can go and leave it a review It will be incredibly helpful The more reviews we get the more reach and the better promotion We get for Team Stupid Dad Podcast And we are totally committed to equipping dads around the world To making sure that our children our families Get the very best of us

05:30 So without further ado, to help you get the very best for yourself I'm going to push you through the little jingle or the intro to the interview with Dean Coulson. He's an awesome guy a emotional Hello Dean. Hey, how are you doing? Yeah it's my pleasure. Dean is known as the Lean Warrior he's a nutritionist martial arts expert of actually a very long time performance coach and and a whole bunch of other stuff which is exactly why I've got you on uh Dean and I got connected through Coffee with Dan actually yes yeah

06:42 His group just keeps on growing from strength to strength. I don't want to say too much about it because everyone's going to go home! But that's not the spirit of things, Dan Meredith. So Dean why don't you introduce yourself? I'm sure you can do yourself a better justice we've got your accent is Newcastle up north in England so I challenge our foreign friends listening in, but yeah tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah okay so originally a long time ago i had an IT consultancy, I worked for myself and then from there realized that was you know here for more than that and so had a couple of

07:28 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior That kind of sort of steered me towards looking after myself and training, not so much the health and nutrition side back then. You've got to remember you're just a good northern lad that's at heart! What did what did it what did an average after-school tea look like when you were kid?

08:07 I remember eating a lot of Bachelor savoury rice and cheese savoury baked potatoes. I remember that a lot! Carry on, yeah you were... Yeah so after that obviously just get on with life and then i got married and then we tried for kids for five years and this is the real thing it's the fact We were told we couldn't have kids naturally after the five years and we tried. You know, there wasn't always no great hurry it'll happen when it happens but the more didn't happen the more you start wondering about it And, you know we went to see the doc guys who got the tests. The problem was mine! Everything that was wrong with sperm...was wrong and there's three things is motility mobility and volume but it was about three of them instead of like five million none of them were good swim and they're all hunchbacks so I was like literally... So like the worst sperm party ever? Yeah yeah exactly

09:08 And so that really, really hit me hard because obviously you take that on board as your own fault. So I went about thinking okay... How old are you at this point? What how old when you got married and all this happening? I was 1998 or what was that 27, 27 I think. Yeah 27. We've been kind of trying before that because we've been going up for a while I'm The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

10:12 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior And then she blew our minds about that. All different things, we actually came home that night and we'd looked in my cupboards and everything was healthy you know the normal government stuff like skim milk brown bread that kind of stuff it was just all crap! We looked in the cupboards and didn't have anything to eat that night. We had nothing to eat but were shell shocked by the revelation or truth of it That's what we didn't eat and that was the start of it

10:55 So I started studying, I bought so many books. I contacted authors of books and did courses and got internships that was a bit later on but i realized that there was something that could be done so we found a Nutritionist who got in touch with us through our book and worked with her and three months later Joe was pregnant! And that's no fluke The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior Joe's pregnant three months later and it was just a chance thing. It was, you know when like when you get to the fact that it almost becomes regimented that yeah have sex to try and have kids at the right time and all that kind of stuff um...it was a quickie in the morning before work and we nearly didn't have time because well it's that's what happened and wow moments would both remember it! Yeah yeah well I do know categorically

12:02 The occasions where my kids were conceived as well. I think it might sound weird to some people, and if you only have sex occasionally or it's a one night stand then there is ease to pinpoint that but I agree, I know the exact times both of my children were conceived yeah? Yeah and so it was such an amazing time and something that could've been an amazing time but wasn't because unbeknownst to us there was some kind Let's say Joy was just ill from the moment she got pregnant. When she found out that she was, she was ill and we just thought it was a moment of sickness because she was really nauseous and she felt sick all the time. Yeah yeah well listen hang on one second Dean let's jump into the finer details in a moment but that's brilliant intro to how you sort of started this nutrition journey but for the listeners right now your the lean warrior what does that mean? What do you do right now?

13:01 So, Lean Warrior is a coaching program for men. I coach successful businessmen under I'm going to talk about the The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

13:48 We need to express ourselves. And so that's the kind of stuff I do, so that helps these guys start to relax more and feel happy, feel more fulfilled and just spend more time with their family because they get that business. A lot of guys I work with have big disconnects with us which is helping them reintegrate through the health paradigm that I use. Yeah yeah well and that's how i came What you say about yourself and your website is aligned with the team Super Dad, and everything we're setting out to do for busy business-owning dads and dads with second incomes. People who want to actually grow and expand in life create their best life ever

14:31 Coming up against this kind of glass buffer, they can't quite realise where they're not getting through it. Brilliant and again because your story blew me away about you and your wife and we've kinda just dived straight into it but its really interesting for dads You know, who've been through this experience of trying to get pregnant and there may even be some men on here. I hope there are some men who are listening to our podcast and perhaps they might be struggling with getting pregnant but you went through IVF and everything didn't you? Yeah, went through IVF twice when were told that we couldn't have kids obviously that was the route because we didn't know any difference That was a medical route. We're fortunate to be able to get that twice but both times it didn't work

15:18 And you know, each time the first time was devastating because that was another sort of smack in the face type a thing. Um and then we sort of regrouped and tried again and it didn't work again um...and that was it was harrowing then It's easy to talk now but obviously when you get in that bubble You really feel like you know We really struggled uh at one point I don't know whether we'll get through it because you got consumed by this and I was consumed by guilt as well Because it was my issue I'm not accepting this. There's got to be a way and that's part of who I am really, is the fact there's always...I believe there's always a way to figure something out, to get something to work It might not be you know medics it could be some other health practitioner or it may even have nothing to do with health but I've always believed there was a way to find your path

16:11 And that's how we found ours. I'm not putting the other pages up, we're 20 miles from here and you know just to the house. And we were there for hours and she was very knowledgeable and as i said it was such an eye-opener because like i couldn't believe what i was hearing! You know like blood...just talking about blood type and all kinds of different things. She said i should be eating wheat or shouldn't even really eat meat but maybe once a week? I was eating three four times a day because that's what he did

16:55 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior I'm going to try and see how, see if I can go 30 days. I'm going to France which is clearly gonna cause a problem with croissants and things but just just to say like okay right in the supermarket iIm not gonna buy bread products. I'm not gonna buy bread products and those kind of challenges are dead easy for any dad to just take on isn't it? Like whatever

17:41 It doesn't have to be some big diet overhaul that you can literally say, I'm not going to drink beer for a week or I'm not gonna... Do you do anything like that sort of thing? Can you recommend anything like that. Oh yeah! You know I've got an honourational health programme and it's based on seven principles The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson

18:18 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior Go vegan next week. You know, you're going to freak the living daylights out of someone there much better to say do you know your breakfast is a bit weird? How about trying this or here's a good one because I do love a McDonalds sausage and egg McMuffin okay guilty pleasure but don't get the hash brown get the bag of carrots

19:24 Yeah, it's just a little step. I've followed degrees of slivage and you can do what works both ways. Degrees of slivage could go from salmon and rice to cheeseburger if you just take one thing out every time but you can also reverse that so you can go from cheeseburger then you make just a hamburger then you have it with like without the bun... Without the bun! Exactly, without the bun and I'm Mind trick is that, you know and what's the effect of the wrong food on our stress levels?

20:29 Well, the wrong food... The first thing we do when we ingest is it goes in our stomach. Gut health is massively important because the gut's known as the second brain and it's connected directly to the brain by the vagus nerve so when we're born and embryonic stage they are together on a break but don't detach And so you know that same amount of neurotransmitters in the stomach as we have in the brain Sorry to cut in! That is fascinating Yeah, because I've read that before about it being the second brain and how close our gut is to our central nervous system. And I'm sure you're gonna talk in a second about leaky gut but i'd never heard explained that It's literally is our second brain because when we first became an embryo those two things are connected That's amazing! The divide there, they still stay connected and they're very similar

21:21 We've got the autonomic nervous system which is the brain controlled and then we've got the enteric nervous system which is controlled by our stomach. It could actually run by itself, it doesn't need the brain necessarily, doesn't rely on the brain. I think I've seen some people like that on the beach last week for sure! The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

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22:56 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior Yeah. As humans, as we get older if we feed that and you know or I see a lot of parents where they keep their kids quiet in sweets and all that kind of stuff And so what about this fire-and-wire association? If there's an emotional event What made me feel better or had sweet things? And so like, I mean adulthood You know men are women and that's often the case So anytime we have a stressful time whether it is at work Or with our partners or whatever it is

23:52 We will, our brain gets switched. The thinking part of the brain, the logical brain and the neocortex get switched off and we end up in that other two parts of the brain either fight or flight response which you all know about their reptilian brain to keep us alive also got a middle part of the brain which is the limbic system which is your emotional center so anytime I'm stressed the thinking part gets switched off immediately So even if you're being good on a diet and eating good food The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior So that association is formed, that unhealthy association is formed and we don't even realise we had control over it in the first place. Well yeah definitely the foundations are there but then you expand on them. I have as well but I don't have those kind of connections with food but I know a lot of people do and so whatever else has happened

24:52 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior Once we understand how the brain works and what, how triggers work then we can look at what the real reasons as to why were doing or reaching for those things. Because once we reach for them and eat them our brain calms down feels safe again you get access to that front part of your brain And your brain says What the hell have I just eaten that? Or I'm on a diet I was watching when i was eating and then guilt starts Then you get that That's a vicious circle. Yeah, yeah sod it! Oh well what's another day? What's another day then you realize the month has gone... Whatever it is and then of course we get this yo-yo diet where we might use willpower for a week two weeks 30 days You know and you'll endure something This is why short term will power is great It gets you over a hurdle but if we're trying to use it for long term things We just try to endure something For a period of time that we don't like

25:52 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior You know, we can change... humans can change habits immediately. Don't have to wait the 30 days or 60 days We're going to change them immediately if there's an emotional attachment to it For example I'll use this you know If we've got kids in primary school and this is hard hitting which is why I use this We've got kids in primary school that say happy where happy And then you hear at the next day that their teachers on the sex offenders register You won't wait thirty days to take them off of school There's an emotional

26:41 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior, The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

27:31 What we ingest creates hormones, which change behaviours and habits. You shouldn't have to be aware of it, but in the modern world with the way things are and marketing you know everyone's trying to get you to buy the next quick fix and the fads. When they've got teams of scientists working out how to make us do things we should at least have one scientist aware of how not to do things i.e ourselves Well example, yeah exactly. I think that's when you start this is you know the other part of Lean Warrior is... I mean it literally means leaners find your essence It's all about stripping away all the things that are not necessary The non-essentials so that could be thoughts, it could be people, it could be material objects There could be lots of things to get what your truth is because we've always everyone knows who we are deep down but if

28:29 If you're feeling unsafe in any way, emotionally then we'll put a story around it. We'll put like armour up there... Yeah like bubble wrap! We just keep putting bubble wrap, bubble wrap and protect ourselves. Of course, literally bubble wrap yeah. But it doesn't have to be, could be other things and this is why I work on emotional level because if I can help people process the emotions because if they are very painful well go straight into that Stressed place. So we'll not even get a chance to think about it. Yeah, well this stuff... This kind of dovetails into what was going on with your wife after the baby and this became a bit of a breakthrough for you didn't it? Around the understanding how this part of the mind works

29:16 Yeah, because she didn't have morning sickness. She had acute anxiety and it was a deep-rooted story playing from when she was younger so consciously she wanted babies unconsciously it felt unsafe because of an event that happened with her and her mum I'm not going into details but that got stuck on the hard drive just sitting there until the unique event of getting pregnant really getting pregnant The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior No, it's funny isn't he? He kind of got a laugh because that's just modern medicine isn't it. We're just gonna dig dig dig until and like no that wasn't what was wrong there was something else causing this problem the dam up the road was stopping the water you know we didn't need to dig for the water Exactly and so yeah this must be as exciting thing was horrific It was awful I think that's important for dads to hear

30:19 And my ex, you know at the time wife obviously. First pregnancy was amazing just like this beautiful experience and the second one was the pregnancy from hell off the back of three miscarriages which I'm kind of putting words in her mouth, but my interpretation of it incredibly anxious about the miscarrying that the fourth one is carrying. And then and then the pregnancy was very difficult yet. That's no slight on any woman who is going through that pretty. It is interesting for anyone in that situation to consider maybe there's something emotional going on something more deep rooted and you could find some freedom in that area

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31:59 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior Yeah, but I know I just kept thinking if i just keep pushing through if I just keep pushing through will be all right. Failing to realize that I was draining the tank my tank there was literally nothing left but the engine was still being run at 100 miles an hour and um and that's ultimately where the break came here. I'll tell you what on that point when I was feeling really really bad like I was doing searches for what is burnout? Like

32:49 Am I burnt out? Was it that obvious, or should have just been realising and nodded at myself and gone yes i am burnt out. Or is there a kind of a telltale checklist for busy executive dads or any dads really to recognise they're pretty much burned out I think they know because what they do is, they always tend to numb and sedate. There's always something that's pressing them knowing in themselves that there's something amiss but instead of dealing with it they'll distract themselves in some way. They'll drink maybe take drugs gamble you know make a phone. The thing is that they will kind of do it because at the end of the day

33:37 Again, if we feel emotionally unsafe so we're immediately going to play a story. For example if we've got some story playing we always think or we think and then we feel but that cannot be possible because usually we get triggered on an emotional level as soon as you get triggered the thinking part gets switched off there cannot be thoughts all it can be is stories that The Brain uses to take weight, take us away from that pain. So my son for example when he was three he was the next door neighbor's Labrador came over to see him lovely soft dog didn't lick him knocked him on his arse

34:13 So my son, a three-year old, was this big monster with a big dog coming. And so ever since then he's fired and wired that dogs are dangerous and he's 15 now 16, he's shit scared of dogs still but now what's happening is whereas before you wouldn't go to the beach because you knew dogs were off the lead, you wouldn't go beside the river because there's dogs off the lead just odd. Did he know that He knew that was why he didn't like the beach or he just decided he didn't like the beach? No, well when he was younger yes because there were dogs there but now it just doesn't go to the lake beach. Because what happens is over time if he doesn't resolve that... But I can't make him resolve it either! That's a key. All I do is remind him that you know when he's ready we'll sort that out but if he doesn't all he'd do is lay out his story on a story and then maybe he has kids himself and the kids want to go to the beach so they don't like the beach

35:04 And And there's some techniques that I use to do that, to be able to help face these things and let them go. Once you let them go the story goes because that story was there to protect me but if the reason that you were being protected is no longer there then it's not needed so your brain kind of processes rejigs itself. Yeah like reprogramming the computer basically like just putting some new instructions in there Do you know a lot of dads would think about this as

35:49 They might know something like this is going on, but they might think of it as counselling. And then I don't want a counselor. I'm a successful business person and I don't want to counsel her. I'm a tough guy. In some ways, the distinction between coach and counsellor is really easy because you say I'm working with you to take you somewhere as opposed to I'm working through something to help you move forward. But in other ways it don't matter whether you call it a coach or a counsellor we're dealing with stuff head on and moving you forward If someone's concerned about working through these things how would you reassure them or address that?

36:30 Well the reassurance is really that we don't do anything that you want to do. We don't even need to keep revisiting things, I know counsellors have said in experience, or counsellors I know will keep revisiting the same thing but your brain doesn't really know difference between reality and memories and so if you're revisiting something that's painful it's going through it as if you were there over and over and over. Yeah The stuff that I do, coaching for example from a neuroscience perspective. Yeah that's what we're talking about neuroscience really isn't it? So neuroscience and emotional healing are slightly different but i just use them as tools as to what is the best tool to use. Neuroscience were just asking better questions or allowing them you know to answer their own questions

37:18 So, for me it's asking good questions for them and I'm getting them to find their own answers to their questions. It's not for me to tell them because that's not coaching, that's mentoring. Asking questions specifically to bring out what they're struggling with. And that can be tough and sometimes that's when I use the emotional stuff because sometimes we don't need to talk about stuff, there is a trigger there We look at where the trigger is if we allow it you know I'll take somebody through a procedure or process where I can allow them to let that energy go You know I've had this experience myself

37:58 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior She came, obviously it was a phone box there's no mobile phones back then. She actually ran from the car park, the payphone nearest the car park in the hospital when she couldn't pick me up because she wanted to come get me but meanwhile three-year old Dean in the cot like they're all out of their bars yeah in pain and his mam is leaving he has been abandoned

38:35 I'm a person who loves the Lord. And that sticks, and even though consciously I knew the story, unconsciously there was energy blocks and now I was just talking to my coach. He wasn't my coach specifically he's like a PA or something. We were just having a conversation about stuff and he was just talking about something specific so we actually shared with him these vivid images and described them as I did that I just burst into tears from nowhere Because it was a race and I just sobbed for 10 minutes uncontrollably in front of her. It was on Zoom, haha! I was like... Just blubbing for ten minutes. And then I just felt this energy leave me, came up and up and gone. And I know its gone because I talk about it now with you for example, I describe those images and there'll be no feeling there, there will be no energy because its gone but for 40 odd years it was there even though I knew the story little Dean was still in

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40:12 What's going on in people's relationships won't necessarily be what's going on in their relationship. And say, fallen in love they've got married everything seemed absolutely rosy and now there's some struggle going on and you're thinking why don't you love me anymore? Why is our marriage going wrong? And actually all that's happening but possibly what's happening is something from before coming from your past something completely unrelated is bubbling up Speaking for myself, I think that would have been very powerful to realise that in my own marriage. And I think a lot of people will either... particularly people who are still in the marriage but unhappy they're like we're never going to fix this actually bit like you getting pregnant by addressing the problem in the right way A whole new beginning was created

41:02 I'm The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior What these emotions are, you know if you work with somebody who can then explain what your feeling and how to let it go. And it's safe and feels okay because its a very fearful thing Fear be just being in a word where we don't want to address something cause it feels unsafe Then we can absolutely do it This is side note now that were talking about relationships There's a great book by I cant remember his name

42:04 You tell me what it is, I'll look it up whilst you're talking. It's the five love languages Oh yeah! Five loving...I would have definitely said that So that now which is a really good way of understanding your other half or even your kids or whatever it is to understand what their love language is because sometimes we think you are outpouring your love to somebody because that's your love language but then that person just doesn't get it so they don't feel loved Gary Chapman is the author and this has come up in a number of podcasts. And I totally advocate, in fact it's part of the Hero Academy book list because it's unbelievable just to run through them The five languages are words of affirmation physical touch receiving gifts quality time and acts of service

42:58 and Yeah. And told I'm great and all we hugged and told everything's gonna be fine, and then like okay got that and I'm off. And so it's different as long as my wife is on time she's fine as well yeah just if you don't know that what pulls apart then Chris. Well totally my ex she was very much acts of service so she would cook dinner

43:44 I would cook dinner as well, it was a shared sort of responsibility. But when she cooked it she wanted like being trumpets and flipping party poppers and everything and I was just like oh yeah cheers not because I didn't appreciate it and I would always say thank you because that's how we've been brought up but you know it wasn't enough for her and amazing like for any couple and even for your children like you mentioned if you can get You know, blimey what that love language is between you and your daughter. You and your son. You and your wife. And then know that as a family so that no one's love language gets left out like if people imagine it like a bucket everyone's bucket... If everyone's buckets full up we've all got full-up buckets and we're happy! Like if someone's buckets been completely drained

44:34 And it's obviously, it can be mum or dad. The kid could be flipping depressed and upstairs is generally like they're just not getting what they need I agree with that and married with you know the stuff they do with emotional stuff and neuroscience it's very very powerful even, if guys are having relationship issues that is the first place to go in because sometimes just by understanding that and changing their behaviour because of that then that could be enough. But usually its deep rooted. It's very powerful Totally. Well, listen let's change tracks a little bit or change gears as our American friends say! What about the martial arts? And you know it's I know a bit about some...I kind of already am kind of prompting the questions but you've been..you're a bit of a badass martial arts person yeah

45:25 Well, you've been doing it long enough. You should be! If you're not then I need a word with your sensei or whatever but just tell us a little bit about how you like why it's so important to you and well never good to give someone three questions but yeah why is that important where it started and what do you get out of it as part of your practice day-to-day? It started when I was 15, Bruce Lee obviously The Man I found a club which was really good. So, I'd actually dabbled with judo first a few years earlier but i wanted to punch and kick. I didn't know judo wasn't punching and kicking. It lasted three weeks! And that was in the bathroom. I wouldn't come out with it. I would say if you don't come down now then we'll take you back. Turns out that would have been a good thing to learn but there we go. And so I learned what's called Jinryando at the time which is a combination of Taekwondo and Takedo

46:28 and And what does Black Belt mean? I mean people hear about black belt all the time don't they but you know is it really hard, is not so hard. Does it make you a super guy or like what is that? What is a black belt even? Well here's the thing, it depends on the person and persona of the person sometimes people are just like fights anyway so if they came in you know wouldn't be different but for me when I did it back then uh learning skills to a proficient level And that's how to first dance. First dance, the first black belt you get and it goes with your dance after that So when you wear your black belt You've just demonstrated that you're proficient in the techniques that you've learned over a period of time and obviously there are 10 gradings to Black You start at White and ten gradings later, Black Belt Yes, you can fail them if you're not good enough If you don't perform the techniques correctly or sparring When I was first learning we broke boards so breaker boards Breakboards and breakers

47:31 So really it's just a proficiency. After that, for me that's when you start learning and you get your first star because that means you're proficient I mean then you start learning more However, some people don't get there or some people think that's the be all and end all. What I discovered was at the time not long after I got that, I was having a problem issue with a guy who is sort of a bully and one for now is just being in local shops with my girlfriend and her wife And he just appeared out of nowhere and I was just getting in the car, and he was just shelling his... you know swearing at me. He's a big Geordie! Give us some Geordie swear words come on! Yeah he was a... yeah!

48:16 Just with an accent, okay I got it yeah. And that shit himself! Yeah i would be...I would be. I locked the door and then he left and then I went home just around the corner and then I was so angry with myself. I told my dad, me dad was in the house. I was angry, I felt shame because your girlfriend was there and I didn't know that kind of thing and I just didn't like her at all And in the next few weeks, I couldn't live with it and thought I'm going to have to control this guy. So actually went looking for him like on the streets and I could never find him. Then I found out where he lived which wasn't that far from me so I went to challenge him. I actually went through his door and said right let's have a look

48:58 And I was still shitting myself but not doing it. Yeah and again he was all full of mouth, yeah and then he got his big old English shit dog out which we knew is a bit macy. He had the dog away let's go! And he was telling us that he was going to take us to the beach and rip my arms off and all like this so i said well let's go The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

49:50 I'm going to be talking about the Jonnie Jensen Show, and how it's been a huge success. And I found a guy called Jeff Thompson based in Coventry. He had created something called the Real Combat System and he'd done things like Animal Days where they pressure tested the martial arts, now actually took it as real as it could do so you know that would go down to hitting people going underground and choking them out in this environment just to try and trigger the adrenal response Yeah! So I sought him out

50:49 And then 2010 I actually started running what you call a masterclass, so it was six months. One afternoon in the month for six months to get like self-protection certificates and i knew how good he was and he's wrote so many books about fear um he's wrote 40 odd books after when an author and all that kind of stuff. He doesn't teach much life at home. What was his program thing called? The Real Combat System. That's his... The Real Combat System, Geoff Thompson the real combat system yeah you'll get a couple of instructors who are based in Coventry who are still teaching it but Geoff doesn't teach it now um how long did you see him for? Sorry say again! How long did you like go and see him for? Um at end up five years I've traveled to Coventry Five years to Coventry tell people how far Coventry is from Newcastle 500 mile round trip

51:41 You seriously wanted to see this guy, okay. For five years? Five years! Yeah because when I went to see him it wasn't just about the fiat and the martial arts and the physical side that's how he taught it but he was very much into like The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior My job, being an IT consultant I just didn't like it anymore. It wasn't why I was here and so he had a book called Shapeshifter which i read at the wrong time before I started work with him And then after a year of going down there he invited me onto his black belt course

52:38 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior Eat too much food, that's a shadow. You know you become somebody else you're not your true self then it's just a sub part of you. But that could play out in making sales calls? It could play out in asking a woman out at the bar or going up to women on the street? Yeah all of us fighting anything and everything! We go from dating to fighting sadly!

53:43 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior That we did like in the Black Belt course. We used to sit for an hour just talking about things, like deep roots of really getting into fear understanding, sitting with fear and all that kind of thing. I mean Jeff's deeply spiritual as he says wrote so many books but has read hundreds of books and is one of those things where At the end of the 12 months, you actually do a physical grading to see whether you pass or not. But it was always about the journey and then I still train with him and then I was invited back firstly to present on one of his courses. He'd created a course called The Self-Somnity Course which he created for directors, CEOs of companies because people in London were seeking them out so he created something for them and asked me to present on that course for him with health nutrition

54:43 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

55:31 I've dug deeper and found out the real reasons. And this is why coaching's so powerful, and this is why I created Lean Warrior. As I said before, lean means find your essence in the warrior part. Warrior literally means have the courage to face yourself. So it's facing your adversity, facing the struggles that are in the way, facing the reason you're stuck, facing the reasons why you're not moving forward. That could be anything! Of course, it's usually deep root itself The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

56:24 And having met you the other few weeks ago and talking this through today, so keen to get you involved in the Hero Academy and sharing this with the dads there as well. Part of Team Superdad! So that's going to be absolutely amazing. Martial arts is a great way to relieve stress, to get fit and businessmen should always be conscious of their level of fitness. Or for any dads, dads should be conscious about their level of fitness. Any dad because it affects you. You'll make excuses why you can't play with your kids. I haven't got time but really it's because I'm unfit and you're blowing up your ops.

57:13 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior I'm going to be talking about the The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

58:37 When I was at university, the student halls were on an estate and I'd walk through there to the shops, to the bus shops, to the pub you know many many times. And then you get a notice come around saying be careful so-and-so someone's been mugged. No disrespect to whoever it was that got mugged but no surprise! You just go absolutely no surprise that it was him. Of course he didn't ask for it and that's what he said why me? Why me? But the reality is Why you is because how you carry yourself and that's why it's always you. Exactly right, so it always comes back to awareness. We're always about awareness of how we feel about ourselves. You know, we all always know what's true. Can't bullshit ourselves. When someone says something, we know its a lie, won't feel like it. We can disguise it, ignore it, distract ourselves from it.

59:29 And it's about stripping that away and being so brutally honest with themselves. You know, for me it's like being honest looking in the mirror and actually seeing things yourself you can always see because you always have some kind of inflection you might have some kind of movement in your face you may look down there is well known research on where you look when talking about certain things whether its shame guilt anger whatever it is deceit theres so many things but you can't do that to yourself You really can't. You can try, but you know you don't. You always know. Yeah touching on NLP there for any of our NLP listeners! Brilliant so I love about this conversation is that it's

1:00:18 The different dimensions of our being that governs our success and our happiness, whether it's what we're putting in as food. Whether it's what we're taking in through our eyes and ears, whether it's how we're reacting to that information or food that we've taken on board. And to be oblivious to any one of those elements The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior

1:01:00 Take How the machine that they are works and be willing enough to take on board knowledge like you have, experiences like you have. Because at our age we're both a similar age it's only now that we fully understand what is to be alive! Very true very very true and I think that is important The health paradigm I look at is, health for me means we're not just looking at what we eat. That's the physical health perspective of it then we've got the mental emotional and spiritual all four

1:01:46 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior First we get to strip away the non-essentials as I said before. We get to do that because there's so many things that were doing, isn't it even for us? They've just been put in there you know what we're doing it for somebody else somebody may suggest them whether its friends family wives whatever it is then we just plainly do without challenging and from a mental health perspective me it was about challenging the stories

1:02:39 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dean Coulson, Lean Warrior We're disempowering ourselves because we've given it over to somebody else. You can never fix it if we blame somebody else, you can only ever fix it when we accept responsibility that everything that we have done up to this point is our fault...everything!

1:03:30 It does. Oh, it does in my marriage and I think anyone who's been divorced or having trouble in their marriage needs to realise that responsibility started most likely when you asked her out or when you asked her to marry you like isn't there? When I started to peel away all the blame blame blame was like oh yeah well I did ask her out like there is if you want to go back there is ultimately a responsibility we all have to take Yeah thats very true Absolutely brilliant. Well Dean, we're coming up on a 60 minutes which I'd like to try and keep things to it's been absolutely brilliant hilariously for people who are still listening We had pretty much this exact conversation in our get-to-know each other chat

1:04:17 So I hope we've done it as well as we did without pressing record. Where can people connect with you or find more out about you Dean? Obviously on my social media is deancoulson, you'll be able to find me on there. My website leanwarrior.com and a blog called deancoulson.co.uk so they're are my main areas that you can connect with me Brilliant and I look forward to seeing you more involved with Team Superdad in the Hero Academy for sure. Always! Well, in the firewalking there's always the day kind of starts with board breaking and stuff so have you ever done a firewalk?

1:04:58 No, I haven't actually. There we go! We're in. We'll get you involved. Absolutely brilliant. Well, we're going to say goodbye everyone hold tight and i'll catch you on the other side guys thanks for listening uh wrap this up after the credits see on the other side yes thanks Wow, wow, wow! That was brilliant. I hope you enjoyed it as much as i did Dean is a brilliant bloke he's an absolutely brilliant guy sorry a little bit about the echo we gave dean some instructions about getting a better microphone but if that shouldn't have put you off i hope his story pregnant the birth of his child struggling through IVF learning about nutrition himself

1:05:44 The The And you can get everything you need there. There's early birds on the live event and you can also pay to get the recordings and access to all the VIP content, and the workshops, and the extra special bits that are available as well It's going to be awesome! Spread the word share this podcast share links to The Launchpad and we will continue to help you be the best possible dad you can be Thanks for joining us I'll see you on the next episode Team Superdad out Bye

1:06:45 This has been Team Superdad. Find us at teamsuperdad.com