Men's Style Tips: How to Dress Better in Your 40s and 50s with Nick Hems

00:00 Men, do you ever get that feeling that you're just wearing the same clothes or you go to your wardrobe and you haven't got a clue what to put on? Well, in today's episode, I'm joined by Nick Hems and we're going to fix all of you. And to be fair, we're probably going to fix me first. So without further ado, let's roll team. Welcome to the Johnny Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches, relationships, and results they deserve. Get your high-value man blueprint and join our community at highvalue manproject.com. Let's go. Nick, how are you doing? Good to have you on the Johnny Jensen show.

00:43 Yeah, I'm good, Johnny. How are you? I'm very well. Thank you. Very well. Nick and I cross paths on LinkedIn and we've chit-chatted about high-value man and Nick has been doing some of your posts on LinkedIn have been getting some good traction recently with your chat GPT kind of comparisons and it's really awkward because I'm like oh yeah I'm definitely the one with the shit outfit on but it's comfort well as I say it's it's it's a combination of comfy easy and sometimes I put like slightly let's just say wilder stuff on and I feel like I look a bit of a dick so we'll dig into all of that but introduce yourself let us know uh who you are and how you come to be this men's stylist yeah hello yeah thanks I'm essentially a men's personal

01:28 stylist image coach I help men with their wardrobes just generally if it's got something to do with a appearance personal brand that's me so it's not necessarily helping men that really struggle or don't have a clue there is a there is a bit of that in there as well but it's also helping men that where appearance is really important to them they may already look good they may already know how to dress but effectively sometimes you just don't have the time so a lot of people don't have the time and they use me because i help make their lives more efficient get things done and it's all about gaining that in today's society

02:08 that extra one or two percent isn't it so that's what i help men with yeah literally showing up basically and making impression absolutely how did you get into it i mean what's uh you know do you just you the the lad that always dress dressed smart when he was a teenager i can think of a couple of mates of mine who are like okay yeah they're they always you know they were up in up in london buying the flipping gucci loafers and uh ulcing cabbana stuff and uh bearing in mind i'm 51 right so they were they were do you remember there was that section in harrods it was like all the cool stuff in there was a particular section in harrods and then yeah i remember shopping in harrods when i was young when i could afford

02:48 to get one thing um i kind of guess it all started out i was never that kind of like really cool kid that always dressed really well if anything like i'd save my money wait for it to go on sell buy it then i liked kind of like standout pieces so maybe slightly over the top but what i was doing was trying to find trying to find an identity when i was younger um when i was younger i was always that kind of like shy kid slightly shy right um but never seemed it because i'd always hide behind my clothes and they they quickly became like a bit of a suit of armor for me you know like if i dressed well

03:28 it meant that i didn't necessarily have to be at the forefront of the conversation starting it um because people would include me because they thought i was more confident than i actually was or people would come and talk to me which made it a lot easier so i guess that's how it started out for me and i realized you know like how powerful clothing can be the message they can send the first impressions it sets and just where it can actually get you the opportunities that it can actually uncover for you so starting out young and then growing up and developing and going from those luminous green y sal t-shirts with y sal written all over them and some horrible probably branded clothing and then just

04:07 establishing you know what is it i'm looking to communicate and doing that through um what i'm wearing whether or not it's you know texture material color cut style whatever it is and then going into a sales environment which i've been in since i kind of like graduated and understanding the impact that your appearance has on on people's feelings towards you and how they buy because you know the first rule of sales always people buy people right so it's it's understanding how i impacted on people through what i wore what i wore and what i got back from that so i'd always had a real interest in clothing not necessarily like fashion per se um

04:47 and when i decided that i'd had enough of working for someone else and i kind of wanted to do something different it was actually just before i turned 40 i thought do you know what i need to find something because as well almost another conversation, Johnny. Yeah, yeah. I've got ADHD and I hadn't realized it then, but I knew I needed to find out, find something for me that I could be fully engaged with and be really passionate about for me to kind of like drive forward and grow my own business myself. Bit of research, this job, personal stylist, personal branding. It just worked for me. So I've done a bit of studying, started my own business, and just literally built it from there.

05:29 Yeah, brilliant. And people always wait till the end of a podcast to say this. But if someone wants to work with you, where can they come and find you? Let's get that right up front so you can catch as many people. So I think my name is quite unique, Nick Hems. So it's Nick Hemsyle. So if you just type that in anywhere, you'll find me essentially. That's the easiest way. You find me about on LinkedIn quite a bit. And if you're on my website, there's multiple ways to contact me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good. That's how people can find you. So I've been through some of your other stuff on YouTube and put together some questions like I do. You touched on there, you know, about your own sense of leadership. You know, most of my audience are men and a lot of business owning men in here or people who are pushing on in their career. Style as an act of leadership, is it, you know, is it

06:15 a must? You know, like, because I think some men would be feel almost a bit pressured around this and maybe anxious as well. But showing up, choosing the right clothes, to some degree, is it a must? No, it's not a must at all. You know, I might buck the trend of what people say. It's not a must. No, it just depends on what you're looking to communicate. That's the most important thing because no matter what you do, you are communicating something, right? Yeah. So I think the most important thing is if you're not comfortable with yourself, somehow you communicate that. If you are an extremely charismatic person, full of confidence in yourself, you can literally possibly turn up wearing anything.

06:57 And I'm not doing myself out of business, but you can because charisma always leads the way people will be engaged with you. Yeah. But yes, you know, like appearance is important because that's where, you know, they say the first seven seconds, people make up to 11 decisions about who you are, you know, and, you know, one of those decisions is your level of attractiveness. It's not necessarily, am I physically attracted to that person? It's do I want to engage with that person? Do I trust them? Do I want to hear more from them? Am I going to be engaged for the next 5, 15, 60 minutes that you're talking for? And that's why I think appearance and the way we dress is important because you're setting the scene for someone.

07:38 And depending on what you're going to be talking about as well, it is really, really important. So no, it's not a necessity. However, it can also be a superpower. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that ties very neatly to the high-value man system for living. Knowing at your core who you are, what you stand for, dealing with any sort of baggage so that you can show up as your true self-that's an energy. That's a charisma. And then you can start to layer on stuff on top of it. One of those A or B posts you put up on LinkedIn the other day. There was the guy who, I guess he looked a bit shabby, didn't he? His beard was a bit scraggly and he had the sort of a mix and match out.

08:24 The red jacket, yeah. And lazy jeans, yeah. And then the guy next to him looked tidy, really. But and I gave my comment first and then I read some of the other ones. I picked the shabby looking guy because it just looked like he had a story to tell. He looked like he had the character to wear other stuff. Where the other guy looked a bit stiff, really. Yeah, that was really interesting, actually. Like picking between a guy that looks maybe slightly scruffy. His clothes fit him well, but he looked lived in. He looked like he had a life interesting and maybe, you know, quite charismatic. Whereas the other guy dressed impeccably well, but for some people, he was the safe and boring option. Looks like he was going to sell you something a lot of people wrote. Whereas other people thought he looks professional.

09:08 He looks like the kind of guy that has got his stuff together and I'll talk to him. Whereas a lot of people are like, no, no way. I want to talk to the guy that seems interesting. That was me. And that's me. I pick out that kind of person. I'm like, I'm going to get something different from this person, you know. But it's interesting the way that we all view things and like where we're drawn. And that was just that point, really. It's like, what are we drawn towards and why? And it's trying to get people to think about appearance. And like, what do you do? Look at how you're dressed and what you're doing. And what kind of a person are you appealing to when you're out? Yeah, yeah. So let's sort of get into some of the things that men can like have a look at themselves for.

09:50 What are some of the common style sins that men don't even realize they're making? making? Biggest style sins fit without a shadow of a doubt. It's getting clothes that fit you. And if you look at, I'd say nine out of ten people are wearing trousers that don't fit them properly. Suit jackets is another massive one. It's that kind of like visibility from the outside, you know, like, especially now in the summer, a lot of people are wearing kind of like relaxed suit jackets, jeans, genos, or whatever, and they just don't fit properly. They're too long. The waist doesn't fit them, so they have to wear a belt. I always think it's good to buy trousers where you don't actually need to wear a belt, but that's kind of like an accessory essentially. It's not needed to hold them up. Because people are too stuck into what size am I?

10:34 I'm a 34-waist and a 32-length. So they buy it, but they buy it without ensuring that it actually fits them and that it's cut to the right size. And a lot of people don't realize that alterations exist. It's like I'll buy the size, it doesn't quite fit, but it's close enough so I wear it. Yeah, I think that's that's the biggest sin. And you know, having jacket sleeves that are too long for you, so it's starting to cup over into your hands and the shoulders are too big, it's just knocking proportions out, and it's doing you an injustice essentially. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's a tailor in Maidstone where I live. He's

11:14 been there years, and I don't know what nationality he is, but he's got a little sort of bit of, I don't know, a little sort of not Asian-y like brown, like more like Korean sort of look to him, basically. And he's amazing. And yeah, I go and get my trousers hemmed or I get the waist taken in. Unfortunately, I had a bunch of suits made smaller when I was after my divorce when there was nothing of me. I thought I've got to get these suits sorted out. But put length in particular, I took some new jeans there the other day because he showed me they were literally the same pair in different colours. And he was like, look, the dark ones are a different length to the light ones, even though they're apparently the same jeans.

11:56 Yes. It happens all the time. Yeah. Even if you go to like top end brands, even if you buy a pair of trousers, as I said, 34 waist, 32 length, you can go and pick one up from the rack, another one up from the rack, and they can be slightly different. And there are lots of reasons for it. You know, like, you know, they weren't made in the same batch. If stuff is dyed after it's been made, if it's hand-finished, for example, in shirts, there are lots of reasons why things show up slightly differently. But yeah, you know, that old trick of I really love the way it fits, so I'm going to buy every color. It doesn't work when it comes to fit. And I suppose, I suppose, most of us got no idea actually what size we are anyway.

12:37 I mean, like, literally, how many of us have ever measured or been measured so that we know? I mean, I know I'm like a 32, 34, but actually, the difference between a 32 and a 34 is massive. It's just that some shops obviously come up, come up different. But to actually know what size you are, have a tailor that's local to you. And we shouldn't dread. If we're a bloke at what, you know, I'm 51 now, if we're a bloke, our weight and size shouldn't really change that. If we're looking after ourselves, again, high-value man principles, looking after ourselves, staying fit, we should pretty much stay the same size between, you know, over the next flipping 20 years, really.

13:14 Yeah, I mean, you're right. If you're if you're looking after yourself, yeah, um, you should do it. I mean, some people do have kind of like a bit of weight fluctuation between winter and summer, and they really struggle. However, you shouldn't really be looking at going, you know, a size either way. And a lot of clothing can actually cater for a little bit of change, um, either side, especially if you're getting well-tailor stuff. But really, a tailor alteration specialist should be that kind of like secret weapon that everyone has. Everyone knows somewhere they can go, where there's somewhere they can trust, and they can buy clothes and just take them there and have them altered.

13:53 Because, like, it's just a number at the end of the day. You know, a size 34, 32 waist isn't always really that. And, you know, I went shopping with a guy last week and he was a he went between a small and a large in some places and a 32 and a 34 waist. And, you know, like sometimes it's the template, it's the cut of the designer. You know, sometimes they come up smaller, sometimes they come up larger. So trying to nail yourself down to say, I am a large and a 32 waist, you're not. You can be many different things in many different brands. So it's about adjusting the way you think, trying stuff on and looking at yourself properly in the mirror first before you buy them.

14:38 And on that whole kind of buying subject, you know, how does a man manage his wardrobe so that he's constantly adding to it? I mean, because it occurs to me, like, probably other. other than the fact that I quite like a lot of my t-shirts, I probably should just chuck away my whole wardrobe, right? And go and go and start again. But none of us have got like three grand sat there waiting to do that. So, how does a man manage his wardrobe? So, he's not stuck wearing the same thing, but not you know, also not always out shopping, looking for new stuff. I think if I was going to answer that question, like strategically, I'd say, um, have a look in your wardrobe right now. Uh, well, not right now, when you've got some time to devote to it, and you've got a couple of hours, you can say, Right, I'm going to look at what's in my wardrobe.

15:23 What do I wear? What do I not wear currently? And what am I never going to wear? Just get rid of the stuff that you're never going to wear. Too many times, I see people looking in their wardrobes, and I come along and they say, Oh, no, I haven't worn that for a couple of years, that's too small for me, that's too big for me. I'm gonna, no, I'm gonna, when I lose weight, I'm gonna get back into that. You know, that stuff that's at the forefront of your wardrobe when you kind of like open the door in the morning. Sometimes it's taunting you. If you've not got into it for two years and you have to look at it every time you're making a decision about what you're gonna wear today, it's not making you feel great, it's making you think, Oh, I was smaller once and I'm not now, and I don't feel great about that, so I have to wear these ones here.

16:08 Um, so I think you know, the key thing is to understand what works for you now, what are your outfits, um, and have them available to you in the morning. If it's something where realistically you are going to get back into it because you're on a diet and you know what you're doing, you're living by the high-value principles, right? Then just put it somewhere that's out of sight, hold it up, put it in a box, put it in a wardrobe where you're not going to see it all the time, and then bring it out when the time's right. But just have the stuff that you wear and get rid of the stuff you're never going to wear. Um, and when you would just admit it to yourself, it doesn't matter that you paid loads of money for it three years ago and you haven't worn it, move it on. You can take it to a charity shop and sell it online, just have stuff that works for you.

16:53 Then you'll feel a lot better about yourself in the morning as well when it comes to getting ready. And it takes that kind of that narrows that decision-making process and decision fatigue down as well. Yeah, and I know that some blokes have, despite the fact that he is more often like, oh, women have got these massive wardrobes. Some blokes have got loads and loads of clothes that actually are just taking up space. Like you say, that decision fatigue in the morning. Genuinely, so last week I was with a guy and he said, I've got quite a few clothes, they're all decent, I just don't know what to do with them.

17:29 And we went through his wardrobe. He ended up because I, when I do wardrobe edits, um, anything that class can get rid of stuff with me, and I've got a charity that I'm connected with, they're a hospice, and they sell on the clothes in their charity shops. When I, when we total things up, he's he's gonna go on and raise just over a thousand pounds for charity with the stuff that I donated and has been priced up in the shops already. It was like £1,057 or something, yeah. And that's amazing. That's now the money that is going to be raised for a hospice that can do loads and loads of different things. But it was just sitting there in his wardrobe doing absolutely nothing. And he said, If it wasn't for you, I'd have probably thrown a lot of this stuff out, let alone sell it or give it to a charity shop.

18:12 So there you go. But the important thing about what you just said there is it's not, I don't hear it as it's not doing nothing, it's actually doing his head in. Yeah, it's actually doing his head in. And for me, we started this conversation off about confidence and charisma, being able to walk up to your wardrobe and be like, right, I know that there's a bunch of stuff there. I can pick out a bit of that, match it with that. And then we go out and we feel great. And most people don't see us from flipping one month to the one, flipping six months to the next. So the idea that they're always going to see you in the same stuff doesn't really exist anyway. No, and it was a great thing for him afterwards as well. Like we literally reduced his wardrobe right down.

18:51 Got loads of kind of hangers to get rid of. But he was like, oh, I feel like I can actually breathe and see my stuff. And the next part of the process for him is actually the shop where we, but now, kind of going back to your question, is he's actually got the gaps so that we can shop strategically because it's like, how do I have stuff in my wardrobe that works for me? What do I do? That first element, yes, is getting rid of stuff that clearly doesn't work for you. The next element is identifying what you need. So it's almost like looking at what is a capsule wardrobe. A capsule wardrobe is basically a wardrobe of stuff that is that just works and it works together.

19:31 So it's simple, clean pieces where the colors work. You know, you've got a t-shirt or a shirt and it matches lots of different trousers. It matches the shoes that you've got. So it's just a wardrobe that you can play around with and it works all the time. So then it's it's like identifying the gaps: what is it I actually need for that to work? Is it a simple clean white t-shirt? Is it a button-down Oxford shirt that I'll wear to work all the time? Um, is it a blazer? Actually, are there gaps where I only tend to wear blue Chinos or you know, washed-out jeans, or I've only got two pairs of shoes. So, it's identifying those gaps. What are the missing items that would help me have more combinations of stuff to wear?

20:14 And then thinking, right, instead of just going shopping and buying an outfit like most people do, I've got a work event coming up, I better buy some stuff. You go and do that, and then you go into your wardrobe and realize it doesn't actually work with the rest of the stuff, and that's not shopping strategically. You know, strategically, it's like what's missing? What do I need? What's going to piece everything together? And when you do that, you're then actually building a wardrobe for yourself, so you're building something that's going to work for you moving forward. And how because that's that, that's you know, for someone, even just me hearing that, I'm like, Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, got it, but I still wouldn't know then how to actually do it. Like, I love t-shirts, right?

20:57 So, in my t-shirt drawer, I and I did chuck a load out last year, but I just went and bought a bunch of new ones so they're actually new and they're not all kind of just you know, collar all saggy and so they're actually like new t-shirts. I got a couple of blazers, they're probably a bit small now. I've seen you talk on LinkedIn about the sort of like what a strategic wardrobe looks like. How does how does a bloke that doesn't really know what that means go go, you know, start? Is it an audit? Have you got a checklist? This is it, like if you're going to do it for yourself, you need to invest time in it. It's like anything, you know, like we don't get taught how to dress like when we're younger, we just don't. And it's criminal actually that you can go through all your school life, like you can go through secondary school, college, university.

21:40 No one ever focuses on this is how you turn up, this is what's going to help you out because this is all about helping you generate opportunities in your future life from first job to dating to whatever it may be. We never get talked, so you're gonna have to invest some time in understanding what works just by simply understanding what is a capture wardrobe, how does it work, how do I build one? You can look that up online, okay, and it's then saying, Right, okay, like what are the key pieces? So, a capture wardrobe for you is going to be very different from me to any listener kind of listening right now. And it's going to be like, What do I enjoy wearing? For you, it might be like a crew neck t-shirt, um, and you might spice things up a bit or elevate that by going, All right, instead of buying a 100% cotton one, I'm going to buy a merino wool one, or I'm going to buy like an open-neck polo shirt like this one.

22:31 You know, like, how can I maybe kind of diversify a bit from where I am? If I want to elevate things, how do I do that? If I want to get just get some have some different options, you know, how do I do that? Is it through colour and I understand what colors work best for me, you know, like by going outside of a navy blue and black and grey, like a lot of people do, or is it through material and texture that I do that? Yeah, um, and then like working out, right, do I always wear Chinos? Perhaps I could actually do some trousers. What does that look like? You know, what colours should I buy? You know, like there are some colours that just work really easily and go with most stuff, like you know, navy blue, olive, off-white, cream, black.

23:14 This is anything out, great. I've got some, I've got some beige chinos, they're more like a um, an earthy color pair of chinos that goes well with so many things, but it just goes well with so much, you know, go with the stuff that is gives you options, first of all. Um, that's that's what you do. It's like a white t-shirt goes with everything, right? Um, it really does, and it also looks super sharp as long as it fits you well. The same as a like a white Oxford shirt. Some people wear shirts, some people wear t-shirts. I'm a more of a t-shirt guy, I don't wear shirts hardly ever at all, unless I need to. Um, so it's like working out what's comfortable for you, what is your current style, working that out, and then going, right, what am I now going to buy?

23:54 Is it shirts? Is it t-shirts? Is it polo shirts? What material is that going to be? Yeah, and it's just identifying that and going, right, actually, in the past, what have I owned that I felt really confident in? Try and work, why was that? Maybe it's time you kind of like bought something similar to that again and invested some time in working out where am I going to get it from? You know, why is it I liked it? Was it because the fit was so good? Was it because people complimented the color of it? Yeah, do that. And I think people should this. I enjoy shopping, right? And I know I'm like a weirdo and sort of like the cliche blokes don't like shopping sort of thing. But tell me if I'm wrong in this, right? But it's kind of my view. I actually quite like shopping. I don't necessarily like shopping though when I've got to specifically buy things.

24:36 So then I, so for me, my girlfriend and I, we don't often go to blue. Water and stuff because it's not exactly sort of the like of all the things we like doing, it's not like, oh, yeah, let's go to Blue. Like, literally, some people love going, but we go, we'll have a coffee, we'll wander around, try some stuff on random stuff, like actually have a laugh with it. You don't have to buy, you could literally go into John Lewis, try like four completely different wild outfits on and put it all back on the shelf. But actually, just having like, oh, that actually felt nice. That actually felt a bit like, I didn't expect that to look so sharp and just enjoy it. I mean, I think it's nonsense that shopping is boring and not fun. I think people, men should lean into it and be like, do you know what?

25:18 We're going to go and tit about in the shops, have a pizza for lunch, drink a beer at the end of the day. And if I see something I like, I'll get it. But it's just about going and enjoying the experience. Love that you do that because this is one of the things that I say when I'm shopping with people: is like, you're using me and like, try this on because no one ever walks into a shop and goes, I hate that. Let me put it on. But when you said there about joking about finding some really random stuff and putting it on, that's stepping outside your comfort zone, right? And we all know the expression, you know, that's where the best things happen when you step outside your comfort zone. It's the same thing with clothing. And a lot of the time, people will look at a hangar and go, I'm not wearing that. And I'll remind them why they're here.

25:59 And they go, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. And Urban Outfitters is that floor in Harrods that used to be there, I can't bloody remember what it was called, but it had all the like Vivian Westwood stuff and random things that cost loads. But just to just to tit about, and especially with your partner, right? It's like, if you're with someone, go and do fun things. This is one of them. If you're not with someone, or you know, it's actually like grab one of your mates who is a bit stylish and allow him to take the piss out of you. I think that's like, you can't take yourself too seriously, can you? And like, how are you ever if you're in a problem, if you're in a situation where you think

26:39 this is a bit of a problem, just have a good, go out. Like you said, have a laugh, just do it. Like, no one's going to stop you. No one's going to stop you ordering a ton of stuff online as well, doing that same exercise at home with a few beers. Like, you can do it. And if worst comes to worse, you can send it all back. It's not an issue. But just experiment, basically. Yeah. Yeah. So do you think it's made it harder with the now? So, you know, a lot of shops don't have all the sizes. A lot of shops are shut down. I mean, how the hell did Top Shop and Top Man shut down? I mean, that's just like, I don't know what that was about. How could something that was so everywhere, every top shop was rammed and it just disappeared?

27:18 But you've got the high end of the market, haven't you? You've got like kind of designer brands that consistently moved to the times. They've got a very specific place in the market. And then you've got that kind of top shop 20 years ago like served a great purpose. It was like access to highly fashionable items at a cost, you know, it was affordable for young people. But then you've got places like Sheen and that have come along that offering stuff at a fraction of the cost that can get something into production that was on a catwalk last week, get it into production, get it on their website. They're adding over 100 new looks a day. You know, you can't compete with that at a fraction of the cost.

28:02 And that's why, you know, places like Top Shop struggle, River Island struggle. No gap. Yeah, no gap. You know, there's far less places in the market. ASOS has been obviously struggling famously as well. So they're finding that they're having to diversify, do something a little bit different just to survive. Okay, so list some of your, you know, doesn't whatever price range, right? But list some of your preferred or go-to sort of shops where blokes can fill their wardrobe. Yeah, it's a hard one. So like if you're looking at, I'd say I always say to our clients, right, is it's it's always quality over quantity.

28:41 Always. So look to buy something that won't just last you a season or get washed a couple of times and then look like a pile of crap. So if you're looking at high street end of the market, you've got some great pieces in places like Zara, in places like Reese, some of the higher end stuff in places like HME. You've got to kind of look at the material. What's it made of? Avoid your polyesters and go for natural materials, 100% cotton. Look at the price tag because that would give it away the quality of the cotton as well. So there's lots of kind of like entry points from a kind of like high street, high end to high street point of view.

29:18 If you've got a little bit more money to play around with, getting to somewhere like Selfridge's, Harvey Nichols, Harrods is great purely for the fact that everything's available in one place. A TWA's a good place actually. John Lewis is good because you can actually hire. hire for free one of their personal stylists and you can go online and you can find them and you can say this is the type of thing that I'm looking for. And you can go there, have an hour, two hour session with them and they'll bring everything to you and you just get a room to yourself where you can try stuff on. And it's a great, great, great cost-effective way of being able to enter that kind of like high street to lower end designer realm and find stuff that might work for you.

30:02 So yeah, John Lewis, Harvey Nickel, Selfridge's Harrods, Zara, HN, ASOS can be quite good online, but that's in person. Massimo Duty is quite a good one as well. There are so many places that you can go to. I'm doing a lot of places an injustice by not mentioning them almost. But yeah, like you look to go somewhere. If you're going to go to one place, look to go somewhere where you can get a multitude of things. Yeah, yeah. And what about, and where are you? Are you based near London or based near Birmingham? No, so I actually live in Bath. I spend kind of like half of my week in London. Okay, right. So, and what if there's any, because like when we were younger, they used to be like, you used to go to Camden or you used to

30:40 go over to even sort of the what's the streets near near Covent Garden that used to be Carnaby Street. Yeah, all Carnaby Street and all that sort of thing. So even they've been like quite commercialized now. Is there any like cool parts of London where there's little shops where people can go and spend the day wandering around little shops? Yeah, like, so if you go to the kind of like old East End, where I'm just trying to think, where do I independent shops? Old East End has got a lot of kind of like cooler independent shops.

31:19 It depends on how much money you've got to spend because I always say like you don't like particularly going to places like Selfridge's Harrods. Like I look at everything for a customer's eyes and sometimes going shopping there can be quite overwhelming because you're hit by everything in the face. All these colours, all these brands. This is really mega expensive. This is like a bit more cost-effective. Then you're hit by all these scents and fragrances. And it can be like a really overwhelming experience for a lot of people. So going to a high street can be a lot more accessible and easier. I love shopping in Mullerbone High Street. Great place. Even though it's just behind Boxer Street, it's just so much more of a chilled out environment.

32:03 So you've got like Chilton Street, Malabone High Street, all around there is like a really nice shopping area away from the kind of like typical tourists. Yeah, yeah. And of course, when people come with you, you take them around those places to the degree that it suits the individual client. You're able to do that. When someone uses my services, obviously, you know, we have a consultation, they fill in a questionnaire. I work out where's the best place for them. They don't essentially do the shopping. I do it all for them. They turn up, everything's there for them. So wherever I go with them, it's in a change room. It's in a private shopping suite. It's just about them working through the options and putting things together and understanding.

32:44 And that's where a lot of the education comes in because we can play around with fit and different items and different colours. And this kind of doesn't really fit the conversation just here, but it just occurred to me from what we were saying before about going with your mates or your misses, having an honest conversation with the people closest to you about how do you think I dress. Do I like, I guess it's, we don't actually ask people that, but to the people that we spend the most time with, to say to them, what do you think of like, or even the people we work with at work? Like, how, how, do I look good or do I look honestly, tell me, because I really need to know. I guess people are. Yeah, I think it's all about kind of vulnerability, isn't it? Like, the thing I respect most about people that work with me is that everyone's prepared to be vulnerable.

33:27 You know, you're filling in a questionnaire and all of a sudden you're like, oh, I actually have to face this and look at it for myself. And one of my questions is, how would other people say you dressed? Would other people say you've got style? And if so, like, what is that style? And people have to really think about it. And, you know, if they ask, they could blast through. But the questions where they really have to look at themselves is a bit more of a struggle. Some people will ask a partner, you know, how do I dress? What do you think? And I think that's really important just to kind of get that standpoint of like, what do other people think? Because some people will dress really well and think, oh, I really struggle. But then other people tell me, well, you always look smart and really presentable. And other people might say, well, you kind of dress like you don't make too much of an effort and you don't really care.

34:13 But I thought that was just kind of like how you went what you went for. And they're like, oh my gosh, no, I really need to sort this out. So yeah, it is about being prepared to be vulnerable and just getting people to be honest with you as well. Yeah. And I, and that point you made before about materials, I can. imagine, even knowing myself, being comfortable matters a lot to me. You mentioned ADHD at the beginning, right? I'm, I've got stuff like that going on. I can't bear things that are itchy. I can't bear things that are too tight on my feet. It just drives me insane. People then stick with what they know. But actually, going back to making this about the point about money is that

34:50 a cheap pair of shoes, unfortunately, won't fit that well. And whilst you might not want to drop 150 quid on a pair of shoes, experiencing what a pair of shoes of that cost feels like suddenly makes you go, oh, actually, I could wear shoes to work every day, or I could wear a blazer. I think it's important for people to realize that you're not just dropping a big, expensive amount on something because it's a designer. It actually going to make, it's actually going to feel comfortable to put it on. Yeah, it makes a difference to your life and how you feel every day. Because shoes is quite a good one, actually, because no matter how much money some people have got, they just think, I'll just buy a pair of shoes and they're a pair of shoes, right?

35:31 You know, like when they wear out, I'll get new ones. But when you introduce people to shoes that are higher end shoes, quality. So I always talk about quality and cost per wear. That's my thing. You know, it's not about how much something costs. It's about cost per wear because that's what makes sense more than saying one pair of shoes is £300, another pair of shoes is £100. What are you going to get out of it? And comfort is so key because if you can then suddenly work out, actually, I can wear these and they're really comfortable. So it makes my feet sweat less, which means I feel comfortable walking more. I feel comfortable in them. And I can go to a meeting at the end of the day and feel great still. And if I'm walking 5,000, 10,000 steps a day, I still feel energized when I get home.

36:17 And a lot of the time, that could be the difference. So they can make such a massive difference to your life. I always compare shoes to like buying, you won't want to buy part worn tyres for your car if you've got a decent car. Who does that? Right. So why buy cheap footwear? That's the only thing separating us from the ground of walking on the pavement. You know, a lot of time footwear is worse for you than just having bare feet and walking around all day. You might as well do that, be more comfortable. So footwear is so important. Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, the width of people's feet. You buy lower end shoes and, you know, and you've got wide feet, you're screwed, basically. Most people don't realize you can buy shoes in a, in a standard, a standard width of shoes as an F.

37:01 A lot of people have wider feet and they go, oh, I struggle because I've got wide feet. Well, buy G, buy a G, but that's not a common thing that's out there. I said, we're not educated on clothes. They were younger. You can buy shoes that are a G width and they will cater for you. And a lot of the time people go, I never knew that. Some shoes that are a G width and I'm like, oh my gosh, praise the Lord. Literally, for 40 years, they've been going wearing standard shoes and just thinking, oh, well, I got like planter physiolitis or, you know, like where, you know, that lowered arch. Like, so you need the right width shoe. You need shoes that support you.

37:41 People still buying crap trainers or shoes that just are making the situation worse for themselves or, you know, they're getting bunions or whatever it could be. So again, comes back to understanding, taking a moment to educate yourself about it and stop thinking it's something that, oh, no, I can't be bothered to look at that. It's not important. Who cares about her parents? It's about me and people that judge a book by its cover and all that kind of stuff that people say to themselves, you know, invest, invest in how you look because it's an investment more in how you look. It's about how you feel about yourself as well. And just be comfortable. Yeah, that's so important.

38:20 I don't know if you ever watched Biggest Loser, USA. And if you get to week 10 or something, it is they do a makeover week. And obviously these people have lost a lot of weight and they might not have spent money on clothes in years. And they take them through a process of getting their hair cut and buying them an outfit and just spending the day trying on awesome clothes. And it is the whole thing's about a transformation, of course. But that one day in particular is made so transformational in people's journeys. And I think that people are living under that kind of cloud day by day without even realizing it. Yeah. And it can be like a saying biggest loser. Like it's a very emotional thing when people can actually connect with what they're wearing again.

39:03 Because some people hide behind a mask, they don't care. But actually, for someone that doesn't care and they put on some clothes that fit them and make them look really good, all of a sudden they care. Because it's like, wow, I didn't realize that I could look like this. And then they care because they want to repeat that feeling again, obviously daily, if you can, right? So, yeah, it matters. Okay, so let's wrap this up, right? So, this is some of the things I've taken from it. People need to get a little bit honest about their own physique, their own well-being, right? Like for me, in Lyme and my work, let's make sure I'm not going to send everyone on a flipping hardcore diet, but let's be fit and healthy, right?

39:45 So, that's the first part. Then we're going to look at our wardrobe, basically strip out things that we're not wearing at all. Then, I imagine from this conversation, take some of the stuff that you really like and go and find a local tailor and see if those items actually fit and if they could be improved. Yeah. Then, hopefully, we're going to see some gaps in that wardrobe. We can look up online, what did you call it? A signature wardrobe or what did you call it? Oh, sorry, a capture wardrobe. Capture wardrobe. So, people can search up capture wardrobe and spot those gaps. Maybe splash out on a couple of really decent items, like that nice pair of shoes or a blazer that you could wear with a lot of, you know, dress it up, dress it down, and really enjoy it.

40:27 And go shopping and have some fun. Ask the people around you some honest questions about what you think about your style. And in terms of your wrap-up, Nick, what would you say to people who are feeling lacking in confidence about their wardrobe but wanting to do something about it? I think being honest with what you've got, like we talked about, looking at your wardrobe and just getting to grips with what you've got and what it is you can do, working with what you've got, because a lot of people don't have an unlimited budget to go out and buy a clothes. So, it's then it's working strategically. So, you said like a lot of this is being smart of your consumption, right?

41:05 Like, so you go back to kind of like what you do, smart with your consumption in terms of what you put in your body, but smart consumption in terms of like what you buy and why you buy it. Um, so I say a lot of the time, people judge us. First impressions are so important, right? So, let's have a look at what you're wearing out of where what you're wearing on the outside, what the people see most. Start there. Start with, if you're a big t-shirt guy, polo shirt, that's what you, that's all you're wearing at the moment. Start there, start with the core areas of your clothing and then work back from that. Invest in stuff that's worthwhile. If you're investing, it's also then about maintenance, understanding, is this dry clean only?

41:46 How do I wash it? Do I wash it 30 degrees? How do I treat my stuff when it comes out of the washing machine? How do I treat it when I'm wearing it? Should I be taking it off when I get home? You know, like it's really looking at like how you treat your clothing when you wear it because that's going to be massive in terms of like when are you going to have to buy it again, how much money I'm going to have to spend in it on it, kind of like moving forward. And that can make all the difference as well. So, it's like working within comfortable parameters for you to kind of carry on. No, I love that because do you know what? We're turning it into a thing. People, a lot of blokes, right? Women as well, a lot of blokes will be like, oh, well, I don't really know, I've got nothing I'm interested in. I'm not really there. They don't really have a hobby, right?

42:28 And yet, there's things around us, like get interested in what you wear. Actually, make it something you've got some passion about. Yeah, and I think I've turned so many people around from saying, I just don't care. And the reason why they work with me is this efficiency model. They don't have the time. So, they need a new wardrobe. They know I can basically sort them out, sort them out in a day. And it will take them years to do that. I forgot my point. But I think what I'm going to is like, it's looking at how can you be more efficient with what you're doing. And I think, yes, here I've retracted now. It's like back in the room, back in the room.

43:11 Back in the room, yeah. It's understanding. Like a lot of guys say they don't care, but when they get the results and they start wearing their wardrobe, all of a sudden they do care. And the reason why they care a lot of the time, and people come back to me is they start getting comments from people saying, Oh, like, what's happened to you? Yeah, you look really nice. Well, they go away somewhere and a stranger comments on it. And all of a sudden, wow, like what a feeling of being kind of like ignored all the time. No one says anything. Someone says something about what you're wearing. And it's a great feeling. And then you'll start getting different results. And trust me, when you care about what you look like and how you appear and the clothes you're wearing, and I'm not talking about brands here, I'm just talking about your appearance and what you wear.

43:54 You will notice different opportunities will crop up in your life. Not because suddenly people are going to start throwing them at you. Sometimes, yes, but because your eyes are more open, your head's up. You're more confident. So you're looking around you more often. And when you look around yourself more often, people notice you. You make eye contact. More people will talk to you. You'll have more conversations. And naturally. opportunities will come to you because your posture is different, your body language is different, you're more confident, you're more attractive to talk to, you're more attractive to look at. That's when the magic happens. Yeah, beautiful, and that is a powerful way to end, Nick.

44:33 So, uh, what we're gonna do is we're gonna uh allow people from the high value man project, or if you're watching this, you can be part of that as well. Send in your questions, right? And we'll get Nick back on in a you know a couple of months. And we'll do a we'll do a QA session where men can bring their style questions and we'll get Nick's input on that and turn it into a bit of a session together. Just remind us again, Nick, where can people find you if they want to work with you? Website's Nick Hems style. If you type Nick Hems into Google, you can't miss me. Happy days, that's the dream, that's the dream. Yeah, exactly. I have a name like Hems, and you're winning. Thanks for tuning in to the Johnny Jensen show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with fellow dads.

45:17 Creating the life you deserve starts with you. Get your high-value man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvalumanproject.com. Let's go.