The Dangerous Truth About Men Without a Mission feat. Ben Price

00:00 We've lost initiation for men. We've lost our elders, we've lost all the guidance that we would have had for thousands of years to be like this is what it means to be a man have a think about what you want to do in life and this is how to look after woman by the way and this is what you're going to do when your stressed You need to know this stuff just to get through life That's initiation! Thats what its for Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man Blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go!

00:39 Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show. My guest today spent years in some of the most hostile environments on the planet, Afghanistan and Iraq embedded with special forces and came out the other side asking a question that most men never think to ask... whose mission am I actually living? Ben Price is an elite life coach for high-performance men, men who on the outside appear to have it all – the business, the family and success but are quietly losing a war inside their own head. He's saved marriages, rebuilt father son relationships and helped men find a version of themselves they didn't even know existed! We're going deep today… Welcome to the show Ben! Thanks for having me Jonnie

01:15 Good, good. We got together last week to do the same on your podcast so thanks for having me on there and we find each other with you having a newborn baby that's everyone good? Everyone well? Everyone is well yeah. How are you? Are you a bit tired? I'm basically on full-time dad duty with boy number one now. Good, good and mom okay? Yeah she's okay yeah it was a challenging intense labor and like i was just saying to you he came out with the cord wrapped around his neck all the doctors and nurses were rushing in then once he came out

02:04 I thought your special force is badass. Yeah, nothing hits home like your child being born blue. I can relate to it as well. My daughter was resuscitated at birth and same thing. They hit the bell and everyone came rushing in. It was like a flipping TV game show. Like wife was screaming, the doctors going And what have you called him?

02:41 He's called Ned. Nice, any family or story behind Ned? No story me and my other half struggle to agree on a boys name that we both like and Ned has won! Okay do you know my test for this right now? You could have... This might not help I don't know but i love sharing this here was my test for names could I shout it across the rugby pitch? Could I shout it across a pub And could he say it in court if ever the need arose? That was my kind of test for, is it a good name right. So yeah there you go I'm hoping he never has to do the court part. He could be there for good reasons right you know true so good so real pleasure too to have you on uh that's so many questions and as always we'll let this sort of flow as naturally as we can one particular area

03:36 It's like how you've navigated from being a soldier into being like a civvy and lots of men struggle with going from one chapter of their life to another, which isn't nowhere near as distinctive as that. So I'll come back to ask you about that and get you to share some of your story but how does someone end up In that level of role inside the military, like you were special forces. I'm really interested in how a teenage lad ends up in such a role like that? What was your journey into that? So I was actually part of the intelligence corps which is quite small part of the military and you basically attach to different parts of the military

04:25 And you manage the intelligence and the intelligence really is simply multiple pieces of information put together. And then an assessment made upon it and then now you have intelligence. And that's basically what it is. Really easy! It is a lot easier than you might... I mean, I could do it so it was fine. So if I could do it again. Then I just got attached to work with special forces. I worked with Gurkhas, worked for weapons intelligence specialisms. So I did quite a few different roles but once I worked with those guys

05:03 So I was in the regular army, did a two year placement with them and then didn't really want to go back to the regular army which is kind of full of bullshit. Make sure you trim, make sure you shave everyday and all that rubbish. And yeah so i just wanted to get out after that And I was ready to get out so the transition out from So when you came out of the army, what was your position? Were you in a relationship? Did you know where you were going to go afterwards?

06:03 So, Ben, what's your story? So I retrained to become a personal trainer. So, I had lots of injuries in my body and sorted myself out a little bit more with my health and fitness learned a lot about nutrition and thought yeah like I'm enthusiastic about this it's quite easy for me to help people with this so this is what i'm going to go do. So I did that when I became personal trainer

06:53 And were you with your girlfriend, now wife? Were you together at that time? No. Yeah I was actually... Actually at that point I was at the tail end of a divorce for a very short period of time. Oh brilliant! Some more meat for us to chew on okay! Yeah it was the tail end of a divorce and That was tricky, that was hard to deal with at the time but I was pretty young and it was a very short-lived thing so it wasn't hugely momentous or transformative. Yeah how old were you when you got married?

07:30 So, you were in service going away on tours. She was waiting for you back at home as a soldier's military wife and she wasn't from the UK so she was Canadian Mexican. She was not from the UK and I And I'll see you in the next one.

08:12 And You know, not wanting to be single again and not wanting to have to go through all of that. Dating and what does it mean about me in relationships? Am I good at this? Yeah so there's more apprehension And when the relationship was struggling did that apprehension hold you back from the breakup or how clean for you in your mind was these shall I leave or should I not leave is this over can we fix it

08:53 Yeah, I think I went from anxious to avoidant. You know flitted between the two. I think I probably was slightly more avoidant so I would avoid dealing with anything And if you're interested in Yeah. You think this is happening to you, you think she's doing this and that but actually bare bones, you two aren't compatible have a conversation about it possible we're really not compatible and this was a bad idea as opposed to why are you doing this to me? I can't cope like it's not fair! And yeah, don't know that I could have left sooner but in hindsight looking back it probably would've been better if we had drawn the marriage to a close way sooner

09:56 Yeah, I think for me. I was very immature this is kind of before I had done much personal development didn't really understand my inner lover you know the part of me as a lover was very suppressed And And

10:50 Okay, cool. So there you are, you've got divorced she's gone back to Mexico or Canada Yeah. Do you still speak? Is it Amicable? No, no chapter closed, chapter closed. So okay great so then you decided that you're going to look at what a new career might look like the gym. By the way one of the regular series in my podcast is The Comeback Kings so perfect that we really digging into this because you decided to start a business men

11:37 Generally, they either fall into starting a business because the need arises and they've got to make some money and they decide actually I don't know what else to do so I'll start up business. Or there's this drive inside of them maybe they've learned it from their dad or some other role model where I'm going to have the wife, the house, the car, the kids, the business like I'm really the master of my own destiny. Where did your motives come for creating and starting your own business? Well, my dad does have a business or did have a business. And so maybe there is a bit of that from my father but I always just wanted to forge my own path and a big part of the story is I interviewed a suicide bomber in Afghanistan. Yeah yeah

12:22 And when I interviewed that guy. That's your book right as well? That's the book, yeah. What's your book called for everyone who wants to go and check it out? It's Conversations of a Suicide Bomber and depending on when you're listening to this you can get free copy on my website at the moment of me speaking it. Oh great! And that's coachbenprice.co.uk or dot com? Dot com. CoachBenPrice.com Great Yeah So basically I was interviewing this guy Sorry just to be clear is he got like And And my interpreter... Not quite as intense then? Yeah, not quite. Well it's still quiet and it's still quite intense because he just because all he did was walk past my office and go Ben there's a suicide bomber downstairs Oh! You were like what with the Dynamite stuff? I was like what?! And he said you gotta go speak to him and I was like oh shit kind of missed the training on that one yeah

13:39 Anyways, I was always fascinated to know what it would take for somebody to do it. What would it take for someone's become a suicide bomber? And so I got to ask him why did you do that and he just... He was actually really mentally unwell this guy right and he had been kind of manipulated and led into doing this This was his, you know... He was told that this was the only thing for him that his family were going to get looked after. You're no good for nothing and I didn't really think too much about it at the time but it's quite amazing that somebody would be kind of led into doing that he certainly wasn't the stereotypical terrorist that you might have in your mind about the suicide bomb. Yeah, I bet that's just the case for a lot of them yeah? Well I think it is in Afghanistan but then when you get to so then I went to Iraq

14:30 And in Iraq it was a different story. They were really well indoctrinated, they were... I never met any of the Iraqi guys because they were usually successful. We didn't capture any but yeah i mean you just think like wow how does that happen? and the way it happens is they put these guys into a room, into a complex, they only see each other and they get indoctrinated! They get taught, they get told this is who you are this is what your purpose is And then you kind of think about it and I'm thinking about it, well what's the difference really? What would it take for me to be that suicide bomber. How much more indoctrination would it take because I'm here in Iraq, in Afghanistan knowing that I could die knowing that I'm sacrificing my time on the planet

15:19 And then you think, well I'm doing other things. I'm sacrificing my health by smoking. I used to smoke. Right? Yeah, I'm not training properly. I'm not really looking after myself. I'm sleeping late like still sacrificing...I'm still sacrificing things for what is my mission where's my purpose who the hell when did i ever think i never thought about it yeah that's powerful indoctrination Yeah. Positive indoctrination that we could do to ourself and yet fail to do or we pick up some concern, doubt fear and so we play small instead of being indoctrinated and going all in? Yeah well I think... So thinking about me, I was indoctrinated! I was indoctrinated. I was indoctrinated to believe that going to those places was the good thing to do you know because like oh well he's a terrorist i'm a good guy what the f*** what's

16:12 Really? Yeah, those guys with a gun or a mission or whatever. They're there to save someone you know I'm right and your wrong no your right and im wrong like whatever they think. So yeah i guess i just always wanted to build my own vision and i read a quote which was if your not building your vision then your building someones else's And that really made me think, well you know if you really go down that path a long way and you really don't think about your mission. You could become a suicide bomber because the guy who's creating the suicide bomber has a mission and he's indoctrinating... He's giving his.. That guy the purpose of suicide bomber does that make sense? Yeah totally! Purpose is everything yeah This is your purpose and I'm gonna tell you this is your purpose until you believe it

17:03 And You know, if we come from a working class like historically background coal mining or shipbuilding or something that everyone in that town. Like what are you going to do? Well I'm going to go and I'm gonna work in the line behind my dad kind of thing like yeah, that was old school indoctrination but you know what interestingly Maybe right now there's so little of that, there is so little clarity for if we're talking about men and boys. Some younger man without that sense of I know where I'm going to end up and there's some certainty around that work and that money in that journey for my life. The lack of clarity is part of what's fueling

17:57 . I think you're right, there's so much of our lifestyle and the news and Netflix and porn and gambling and smoking and drinking. It might not be designed this way... It is all numbing! And it's just that I'm not that skeptical to think And

18:45 We've lost initiation for men, so we've lost our elders. We've lost initiation So we've lost all the guidance that we would have had for thousands of years to be like right this is what it means to be a man Have a think about what you want to do in life This is how to look after woman by the way And this is what you're gonna do when your stressed You need to know this stuff just to get through life That's initiation! Thats what its for and then on top of that... ...we now have really really smart people who are excellent at getting our attention and selling us shit And if you're thinking for yourself, they can't convince you need this fancy gadget. Yeah. You know? Well they can't convince you need the car now those people have a lot of money and they get better and better at doing it so that's why I think has happened. That is powerful and then doing it to our kids like what cartoons like here we are talking about little kids I've got two as well minor teenagers now look at what cartoon was like

19:41 So, I'm going to start with the first one. Little young primary school kids, she's like in a good area right as well. Like they're mental. They've got behavior problems and SEND numbers are off the charts and a whole load of stuff. And then she putting a program in place to have mobile phones and devices you know just discouraging parents from having them and not letting kids bring them into school. The backlash! Like the resistance really it's of course is not like 100% but it's at least

20:39 And if you're interested in learning more about the Jonnie Jensen Show, please visit our website at www.highvalueman.com. On the level of purpose and vision, yes it's missing for a lot of men. It's definitely missing yeah I mean i think the thing to really realize and I think I might have just said they you know like that they like detaching us from whoever is who's really smarter getting us on there...it's actually US! Do you know what I mean? Yeah turning it on using them. Us and whoever's listening to this its YOU because your'e using it and your you might be employed into a role

21:36 And Find those other people and help them understand who they are and why they're here. I think it's a really important thing, and having two boys now...I'm just really very passionate about it. I look at them and think, I'm excited to help you figure out who you are and why you're here as early as possible so that you don't spend fucking six months like I did in the war zone four times! Yeah with the idea that oh this will be the answer, I'll find myself here

22:31 Yeah, I don't even know if I was thinking about that really. Was it fun though? Like being in a war, was it on any level fun? So, the army is good for men I believe except the part where we go to war and kill people. And you have to remember that is what military's for – it's to defend ourselves yes and I think it's a useful thing. We definitely want to have a military, not saying

23:11 Yeah, I think there's lots of useful things that I learned from the military. Personal discipline is definitely one of them and I think just integrity being a man of your words being honest i think that's important. I was...I was..i think I'm better at it let's reverse to two years ago because I had an amazing coach who helped me level up in a big way but two years ago I was good with it and then he helped me go much higher with it. I was better than most people when So, on a societal level do you think conscription would be good? Like just to shape and mould men slightly better than what they are. Maybe… Do I think it would be good? No!

24:11 I think it'd be better than not having it, but don't think it would be the answer to why so many men lost their lives. I think the answer is actual conscious initiation. So when I say conscious initiation like this is what you're going to do, this is what it means, and this is what you're gonna try figure out. And

25:03 Okay. Right. Back to the story, so you started a gym with the hope that you were going to create a business and it was going to thrive and you were gonna be successful and live happily ever after. What was the reality there? Well I started...I was floating around doing personal training for awhile and I did quite well, I did really well at it um and then I got this opportunity to basically start...I started a small group PT thing and more people started coming in and I was like oh okay we can make this work

25:57 I had some massive help, like I was basically coaching a company and they gave me space in the warehouse. It was amazing. It was a great start to things. Sorry on that point right? You might not have known this at the time but was that a lucky thing or did you create the opportunity I did create the opportunity, but yeah. But you have to look for luck don't you? I think you have to be open to luck. Lucky people think they're lucky. Absolutely yes. That's an important question and it was kind of a leading question because I was hoping we were going to answer it that way but a lot of guys don't realize this

26:47 How they show up, what they're thinking at the time. What their expectations are of the occasion like I don't know why i'm going to this but i'm gonna meet some cool people and I don't know why i'm doing this business but i'm gonna lean right into it because I think something good's gonna come out of it more than just that x hundred pounds that they're paying me Yeah or they're never going to buy well then they're never gonna fucking buy The opposite You're only going to see the reasons they're never gonna buy People have no money Well guess what? you're only going to see where people have no money So, yeah I always do this little exercise which is I get people to look around my office if you're watching or look around your own office and see what's red in the office. And just have a little look see what's red spot out a few things and then close your eyes and now think about everything that's blue...and you didn't see anything blue most likely because you were looking for the red! Your brain has to filter out things

27:47 Get through life because there's a lot of... And we'd go mad. We would go mad, yeah! So anyway, back to the story. Yeah. Here's a gym you've got going and people starting to join. Ah joy! The love of the magic of COVID, the giver, the opportunity generating experience called COVID. Yeah well so it was going quite well basically. The gym was going quite well and then COVID came along I think it was that oh yeah that's right it was the day that we signed the lease to pay rent So, I rented out all the kit to the members and people lost a lot of members but a lot of them stayed. And we didn't get any funding either because we hadn't been paying any rates from the council so every gym that had been forced to close got like quite a lot money it was like 15 grand or

28:44 And So, I Yeah, it turns out that's a real big sign that they want to join. If they've just seen you on Facebook you really got to find them. Anyway so I learned how to sell sold a lot of these leads and went really well, went really, really well. How did you teach yourself to sell? Oh, I had a coach, multiple coaches. So where did the idea of needing a coach

29:54 What was your first experience of that? What was your first awareness of, as a guy, as a human I need to coach to improve myself. Yeah good question so i think actually I had a guy when I was still in the military my kickboxing coach whose name is Gary Jones if anyone wants look him up he's a... Because he's a badass right! He's a meditator Yeah, he's not a military guy. He just lives in that area near Hereford. Anyway he started sort of coaching me about it without me realizing it and asking me kind of interesting questions and I thought was a bit weird to be honest because you hadn't experienced before or just because he was weirder? Well he is quite spiritual as well. Okay right yeah so different levels. I was completely unspiritual had no idea what spiritual meant

30:51 I didn't have any idea what that meant and you know, as a military guy right? It's not the sort of thing you're working on in the military. So yeah so I thought it was bit weird but then started to see some of that work and it started to make sense to me and that just opened up to it more. There is another thing where I read a book called The Slight Edge and that was because I wanted to invest in property and that book was about compound interest Okay. Getting interested, that was my first book and it's brilliant! It's a really good book And not many people know about it because they never done any form marketing for it. It's all word of mouth. Okay, I'll put on the list Slight Edge. Jeff Olson, The Slight Edge brilliant and I recently reread it and it feels quite modern still feels like yeah there's a great book on the compound effect by a guy called Darren Hardy and he's called The Compound Effect Yeah There is that thing where you go would rather have a million quid or would you rather have

31:48 And if you're interested in So I read that book, that got me more interested and stopped me smoking. I used to smoke because the idea is like one cigarette's not going to harm you but then 10 cigarettes a day well even 10 cigarettes a day doesn't really matter that much really but ten cigarettes a day for the next year

32:40 Or the next 10 years, now you've got cancer and it's like oh suddenly I got cancer. No you didn't suddenly get it It's like a compound effect of all the cigarettes You have so people talk about in the positive because remember it's also working against you So if you're not sleeping If you're looking after your nutrition and if you're not doing exercise its gonna compound over time And you'll get away with it because is the thing as you'll get away with early especially when you younger And I think it was just reading books for a while. I never had a coach and then, the moment where I employed the marketing agency and then I got this coach off the back of that, but to be honest they were useful at the time and they told me what I needed to know but I didn't have a proper coach until two years ago like a real coach who really helped me see who I am why i'm here and my uniqueness in my power

33:49 That's not what I had from these previous coaches. They were all tactics coaches, if you know what i mean? Like they'll tell me what to do and we go and do it And that will get you so far but eventually you're gonna hit a point where just doesn't seem to work anymore For me I got a bit frustrated with it all And then met this guy and it was totally different. Well, we'll definitely dig into that into a second but so the business is going under you're closing the business by the way are you if you met your wife at this time? Are you married or what's... So we were not married but she joined The Gin. Okay oh classic! Let me help you with that. Yeah she joined The Gin

34:28 And that was during COVID. Yeah, so we met during COVID. But kind of the short version of this is that she stuck with you through that whole journey? Yes I sold The Gym about two years ago and yeah she stuck with me. So The Gym was going really well and then it started not going very well and I employed another agency to try and help me And And so there you go, the business is closed. Did it just clear the debts or did you come out with anything? It just cleared the debts. Okay, just washed your face. Say again? There was a whole story around that which was like someone trying to go behind my back. So I was trying to sell it as this group of ex-members

35:38 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Ben Price, High Value Man And at what point did you become aware of that and how did you handle it? Well, there were sort of two groups. There was a group of current members who I eventually did sell to but they didn't have much money and this other group who were looking to buy for more money and they strung me along, strung me along, strung me along and I was like, you know, what's going on? But I was too weak...I was too weak to confront them about it until I started working with the coach whose name is Sanyika

36:21 And he really like helped me step up and step into my power, become more of a king. Yeah yeah. Be more assertive and like call people out on their shit not in I hate you way just like assertive just like firm. There were some rumors in the community as well they were gonna do it and I was like no they would never do that No I've been too like... I've been put to weak basically That's a great story because generally when men are being too weak And if you're listening to this podcast, I want to encourage you to check out the link in the description below.

37:17 Nothing hard, everything that's hard work is worth having. Everything that's easy probably isn't worth doing right? So yeah pushing through that awkward moment to have to make the decision to have the conversation. Yeah I think we're also not taught it like it's not so much a failing... It wasn't a failing of me it was just that I hadn't didn't have the skills okay does that make sense like yes I, because the skill is listening to what's going on in my body. I would just ignore that. I didn't even know there was really anything going on in our body and when I started working with Sanico I had to really reconnect with my body because most of us are in our heads overthinking things ruminating that's why we wake up at 3am in the morning like loads of stuff going through our head and that's why you know used to wake up in

38:11 Okay, so who introduced you to this guy? Did you seek him out? Did you get introduced to it? Yeah, so Sonika was speaking at an event. A really amazing event if you ever get the opportunity to go is called The Ultimate Experience and just so happened her speaker is the right person at the right time got introduced and it was being held in UK usually in the States or in the last one before that was Mumbai India and yeah just happens he's one of speakers

38:57 I was just like, wow this guy's amazing. Really grounded presence and just authenticity all of the speakers were amazing at the event and there are YouTube recordings as well and there was no selling you know i've been to lots of these events where they're just like pitch in pitching it's a pitch fest and just run to the back of the room yeah right i'm a nightmare that flipping you gotta bolt me to the chair if i go to one of those things lock me down because i'm gonna be buying stuff that I've done it, I don't do it anymore though. I'm just a bit sick of it now to be quite honest! When I go to those things one of them I am interested in what's being said like can I learn anything from this? But also I'm interested in the machine that I mean like wow what was it took to put an event like this on? What does it take to give a talk at the end of which 200 people literally run to the back of the room and spend thousands pounds? Like

39:54 Yeah, well the thing that was different and I'm not saying it's right or wrong because if it serves the person then it probably is a useful thing for them. Well it is a useful thing right? So you spend two grand and its really useful and authentic and it serves you. Fucking brilliant! But thats not been my experience very often I believe that most of those people are very, very good at selling and not great at delivering. And their effort has gone in... It's rare to find somewhere where you get both but this event wasn't anything like that it was just authentic presence and there was such a breath of fresh air and then I listened to her podcast and I thought it was really good and then I started working with him basically so they happened quite, you know, I think he had

40:46 There's different ways to skin the cat, isn't there? There are scarcity and urgency tactics that people use which kind of lean into your fear. And then you're in a kind of... I don't know, you're in a fear-anxiety state whenever you engage with that thing whereas what Sonequa did was very much he was an authority. He was a presence, authentic authority and a presence. He was a king! In the truest sense of that word. It is inspiring And I'm sensing in what you're sharing right now, is it a personal awakening of yourself? Right. There's a whole journey gone on here of crudely speaking soldier or boy young man, soldier husband business owner

41:32 All of that disappearing or evolving, shaping into something new. And then as the business closes what might seem to some people random opportunities come up, random introductions, random choice of a coach, random girlfriend to meet at your gym and fall in love with but actually there's a direction here for me when a man is really waking up to himself there's a direction of flow and if we tune into it there should be no surprise who shows up It's then a question of whether we grab it. And here you are, that's why we're talking right? Yeah, that's why we're talking yeah! So when you went to grab it right what came up next obviously I'm basically leaning into how did you decide to start doing the coaching work that you were doing and what did that take to get started? So I was quite lucky in a sense because I had a few people who were interested in working with me one-to-one

42:29 And so I just made them an offer and they accepted it. First time that happened, I was like shit... Now what? They said yes! Yeah, they said yes. It was incredible I obviously can't really give you too much details, but the person was in a relationship for a very long time. Multi-millionaire in a relationship hated the relationship didn't want to be there but everything looked good right? Literally everything looked good from the outside. The Mirage! Amazing car amazing house flying all over the world and relationship no kids...

43:12 It wasn't the reality and that person's world was very grey, very very grey. And yeah we basically had an amazing session first session I did we went quite deep into all of the stories so i help people win the war in their minds So the war in that person's mind there was just so much and we just figured out we just cleaned a lot of it out Just cleaned a lot about...and then they went away again to And And another person who had IBS in their gut and her husband had recently died, and we kind of went through the story that she had in mind about it. Most people would go oh its really sad isn't

44:37 And I, and she was like yeah it's really sad and she was really upset. And yeah it was sad but also... It wasn't as sad as him still being alive because he had a really horrendous disease. Yeah right so I questioned that story and as soon as she went oh yeah no actually wanted him to die her gut she went oh my gut feels better literally in that moment like that. The normal... It's just because it wasn't the normal thing to say but it was the truth Yeah. Some of my early, well not so much early but some of my journey personal development journey and led me into coaching time spent at Landmark Education and some of their events I'll never forget a weekend with similar story where woman was upset about her husband dying and there's a whole story about how life was the way it was in the end the landmark form leader just stopped her and said how long are you going to be like this?

45:39 And if you're interested in learning more about the Jonnie Jensen Show, head over to She came up and they broke it down, then she's in tears. And then like the whole kind of realization of how long she'd been holding on to it and then this moment where she was like wow what would that be like to let go of that? Just like the story you just shared there. Amazing! The funny thing is I've come to this quite naturally because I realized people were coming into the gym and they were kinda beating themselves up a lot in the gym with exercise giving themselves a hard time for something had happened and they complain about stuff

46:28 And there were some people who would sit, you know... Who would come and sit and talk with me. And I kind of just naturally questioned them on the truth in the validity of their story was like, I'm empathetic. I understand that you lost your husband. And is it true that you believe this? Then I discovered there's a whole world of coaches and therapists and consultants who are doing all this as a full time thing so it was quite encouraging So let's use the last 10 minutes just to talk a bit about like, the way that you like to work with men. You know every coach generally speaking has got their program I've got the High Value Man System for Living and the way that I work and in our conversations together in the last two weeks we're very aligned in our work okay but share with us some of

47:26 What you take a guy through, you mentioned earlier on about vision and integrity and honesty. Honesty and integrity are the same things but values right? So having the importance of having a vision, we've talked about values in there. Share with us some of how you get men to start out on this journey. I run 90 days or a year. And it's called The Kingmaker and it's an initiation process. Basically what is does, is guides men through the different archetypes of a man and helps you understand your shadows because I think the most important message really for men is that you're not broken, you've just never been taught how to operate as a man so

48:15 And I'm out. So the archetypes, the first one is The Warrior which obviously is very fitting with my background. I call this like gates you've got to pass through. The Gate of the Warrior you can do in about 90 days and that's really about getting your ability to get shit done online So stop procrastinating, stop self-sacrificing yourself, stop self sabotaging and just get shit done. That's kind of the first thing you need most people are trying to do the other stuff like have a great relationship be a great lover and be a great leader in their business and they can't even get shit done properly so that for me is sorting out your body your discipline and your appropriate use of force not being overly aggressive but still being assertive

49:13 So that's the warrior. Once the warrior is online, then everything else can start happening The next part is the magician. The magician we spoke a bit about earlier... ...the shadow of the magician. So the magician is the problem solver and he will do things that are true to him rather than manipulation or detaching so those are the shadows overly manipulative you know you see a lot of men who quite manipulative they withhold information when they should be given it The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Ben Price, High Value Man Score, highvaluemanproject.com

50:08 Either in shadow or immature and in shadow for the lover looks like the addicted lover. You know when you get into a relationship, you'll just forget everything else and just say I'm all-in! And then you go shit I really should have focused on my business on my career...I'm gonna go into something called monk mode which is term kids are using now. Monk mode where you don't do anything apart from focus on your business so they kind of flip between these two things rather than getting to the point of maturity And the problem with the monk mode is you get shit done and you build everything but then you have no relationships or you have a terrible relationship. Which is the state of most guys who are in it. There's no balance, there's no appropriate focus on all areas yeah But again like initiation would've taught us all these things how to be...and then the final gate is the gate at The King and The King is your inner leader really and the tyrant is a shadow of The King

51:10 And the weakling is a shadow of the king. Sometimes we flip between tyrant and weakling, all the shadows we flip between but ultimately it's about becoming a King and then when you're a King everything just flows a lot easier, you're on your path. You've still got to work on all of it but ultimately it's about becoming a King. Yeah yeah no surprise how aligned that is with my version of things It's almost identical with different, you know, with different titles. Different words yeah and I came up in mind in my own mind, I came up with it myself right now but I'm not so arrogant to say that I literally came up with it now is 25 of reading and studying experiences and actually it was the divorce or my brother's suicide and the whole everything that happened around that time. It took that seismic

52:07 It's a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, But really it was for me because I often struggle with focus and like, I get lots of ideas. And quite creative which can be very distracting. So I needed... It's horrible! I suffer materially myself. Yeah so right? I need to know every week what did i decide to focus on cause' I can't remember what my quarterly intentions were. So I would go and do these workshops. I'd go and do all these quarterly workshops

53:07 And I'm not forcing this topic upon you, right? But it does feel like this to me. What would you say to a guy or what kind of encouragement would you give to guys who's at a point where loads of stuff just doesn't seem to be clicking? It seems to be like turbulence basically. What kind of encouragement would you want to give a guy who is at that point and wondering what comes next? Good question!

54:01 As much as it sucks right now, know that it's feedback. That you are probably not heading in the right direction somewhere and do whatever it takes to get in the right direction and then secondly so that get out of your head stop overthinking it! And the way to go out your head is to breathe and learn about breathing And And I'm aware, you know it's always the end bit. So we try and bring it up at the beginning like how do people get hold of you which is why we mentioned your website and people could download the book from there at the moment but I'm also where you got to do some camping trips and stuff? Yes yeah so once a month for go camping which hopefully will come along one day Jonnie! Yeah. I'm just literally looking on my other computer screen this like bunkhouse just like a shack in the middle of Wales which I really want to book

55:15 But it's not glam, it's not glamorous. It's about getting back into nature, sitting around a fire... Being with other men without technology, eating some great food and being with each other and discussing things that we don't normally get to discuss because we're always wearing a mask. We're always performing a role and you just there's something about getting into nature and there's something about sitting around a fire that it's just so essential or needed for us as men I believe. I think we've done that for thousands of years and we don't do anymore

55:51 And like you said earlier, we've kind of lost the third space of the pub and place to hang out. We always used it around a fire. Yeah, yeah. We spoke about that last week. Absolutely literally that whole line about men don't talk and I'm like well do you know what? I'm pretty sure that men have always been Put into groups, whether they're digging a hole chasing a bear going to war digging out mines like groups of blokes doing stuff together. Now they might not have all had conversations about so what's it like at home these days? But without doubt there was chit chat there was banter there was relationship there was camaraderie brotherhood and modern day life has stripped away so much of that

56:38 Yeah, it's really powerful. I never have had anyone struggle or not want to speak at all about anything. I don't like say you have to speak but it surprises me that I've never had anyone struggle or not want to say anything. Like they struggle a bit but then I just coach them through it but they'd never say I don't wanna say anything. It's amazing! I think that men don't talk is one of the biggest statements that is propagated against men. The reality is, men aren't given the spaces to talk. Yeah, yeah, I completely agree and we're not kind of because we don't have those spaces were a bit uneducated on how to do it? Of course! You don't know what you don't know. Yeah but once we have the space and once people know that's the intention of being there so yeah sweet I'm here for this

57:30 And there's some of the stuff that comes up is really, really powerful. Like people talking about suicidal thoughts, people talking about maybe part of family member who has taken their own life that has come up a few times and this happened like months ago but they've never had the space to talk about it just how they're feeling about it and what they wish they could have done or said you know? Absolutely So Ben, I'm going to wrap this up. Just literally as we hit the hour was bring these two a close coachbenprice.com is where people can find you. Oh your podcast as well right? Which I am on! The best episode is the one that I've just been on although the one with Penny Power is a great episode. Penny Power's beautiful episode