Episode 102: The real reason things aren’t getting done (and what to do about it)

00:51 Welcome to Unfrazzle, a podcast for solo business owners with a big vision who are ready for a kinder more sustainable approach to productivity. I'm Louise Miller and each week i share bite-sized insights to help you step away from the hustle stop faffing and stay focused so you can make your brilliant ideas happen and make a bigger impact in the world Before we dive into today's episode, if you enjoy what I'm sharing here on Unfrazzle and you'd like to support the podcast. You can buy me a cuppa by going to BuyMeACoffee.com slash Louise Miller and making a one-off donation. I'll pop a link to that in the show notes Okay grab yourself a cuppa and let's get started! You wake up one morning feeling particularly motivated ready to up your game filled with determination and positivity And you commit to writing a new blog every week

01:42 Then time goes by and six months later you can't understand what happened because despite your best intentions, you were lucky if you managed to write one blog a month. And you wonder why you can't just stick to the plan and do what you said you were going to do? Always on the lookout for an opportunity to stick their nose in your inner critic joins in with a tirade! You're utterly useless, you'll never be able to run a successful business if you can't even write one blog a week... Why do you even bother trying?! So that's a bit harsh isn't it? And the logical part of your brain knows that isn't really true. But the more you keep not doing the things you said you were going to do, The harder it is to brush those thoughts off because what if it is true? What if actually you are just a bit rubbish so if you ever find yourself going down that line of thinking I want to stop you right there because you categorically aren't rubbish

02:33 And I've actually written a blog telling you why you're not rubbish and i'll pop a link to that in the show notes if you want to go have a read of that, that link will be there for you. But today what I want to do is talk about what has really happened? What really went on in this situation, this scenario that's made you feel so crappy? I'm going to share three main mistakes I see people make that mean they're setting themselves up for failure instead of success and obviously I'm going to tell you what to do about it! I'm not gonna leave you hanging So, the first thing you know what really happened that made you feel so rubbish? All that has really happened is that you set an expectation for yourself that you were never going to be able to meet. Not because you're an idiot!

03:11 But because you underestimated how long it would take. That is all and everyone does it right, not just you! Now you might come back at me with a counter argument about how someone you see online is talking about how they write one blog a week so you should be able to do that too and the fact that you can't is proof that you are in fact rubbish And my response to that is that you are not them. You have no idea how much support they have in their business and in their life, how much time they spend on client delivery compared to you, how much other marketing and networking they're doing compared to you. Their creativity works differently to yours

03:48 They're able to write one blog a week, perhaps in a frenzy of inspiration. Whereas your creativity needs more time to gather thoughts form ideas and articulate them in a way that lands and neither of those approaches is right or wrong It's just very individual So I'm going to say it again the reason you didn't do the thing you wanted to do so in the example I gave earlier The reason you didn't write one blog a week Or whatever that is for you Is because you underestimated how long it would take All you did was set an expectation for yourself that wasn't realistic. So there really is no need to give yourself such a hard time now, that doesn't mean that you should accept it will always be that way far from it! There are some simple things you can do to make sure that you're not setting yourself up to fail so let's take a quick look at the three main mistakes people make when it comes to this stuff Mistake number one is NOT looking at the bigger picture first

04:40 So if you're going around setting expectations for yourself willy-nilly without first thinking about what you're actually trying to achieve in your business, chances are you're gonna end up trying to do too much or prioritising the wrong things. For example if your goal is to grow your email list so that you have a bigger audience next time you launch instead of writing one blog per week you might be better focusing on pitching to be guest on other people's podcasts So take a moment to think about what you're trying to achieve and the things you need to prioritise to make that happen. And then check that the expectations your setting for yourself are aligned with that, this is also a really great way of preventing yourself from taking on too much makes it a lot easier to see what you might let go off at least for now, you know you can pick things up again later so thats the first thing The second mistake I see people make is not considering how much time and energy they have available

05:32 So when we're feeling inspired, maybe we just got home from a really epic conference or we had a really brilliant call in the community we're part of. It's very easy to make grand sweeping statements about all of the things you are going to do I'm gonna start a podcast! I'm gonna set myself up on TikTok email my list every day and i get it those things feel exciting but when exactly are you going to do them? By making those sorts of decisions and declarations without first looking at your diary to see what's already on your plate, you're setting yourself up to fail before you even start. Because how will you write one blog a week going back to that example if your diary is already full with client delivery networking showing up on socials laundry and feeding the kids?

06:16 So before you make a commitment to doing something new, look at your diary. Consider the time and energy you have available and if you're already at capacity and that thing is important what will you let go of to create space for that new thing? And then moving on to mistake number three and that is using other people as a benchmark for how long something should take. So I've already touched on this but i'm going to repeat it because i can't say this often enough, we are all wired differently and we can never know what's already going on in someone else's life and business so as that saying goes right don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree just because someone else can do something quickly and easily doesn't mean that you should be able to follow suit and if you can't there is something wrong with you

07:02 So how about instead of worrying about how long it takes other people to do things, you start paying attention to how long it takes YOU to do things and then take that knowledge with you into your planning. Hopefully by now you're seeing that you're not failure just because something took longer than you thought it would there is nothing wrong with you! You've just got to be over excited and try to do too much so what I would love to invite for you to try is just to see what happens when you pause to remember what you're trying to achieve Embrace your own natural pace and create expectations that align with that.

07:38 And check your capacity before deciding to commit to something new. I think you'll find things a lot more easeful and that pesky inner critic will have far less to shout at you about, and I can't promise that you're always going to get it right – this is art more than science after all – but you will be much less likely to underestimate how long it takes to get something done, and much more likely to be kind when things go awry which they will because you are human And just to prove that this is not just theory, it's not just me making all of this stuff up. I want to tell you what one of my clients said so one of my Make It Happen Club members she'd been with me in the club for a year and she sent me an email saying... Now doesn't that feel like

08:35 I'll pop a link in the show notes about Make It Happen Club. Have a little look at how Make It Happen Club can help you be more productive, When you join us in the club I will guide you through a planning process that works every month, meaning you'll be setting yourself up for success month after month. So i'll pop the link to that in the show notes but in the meantime I hope what I've shared today helps and look forward to seeing you again soon! Thank you for listening to Unfrazzle. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who needs a dose of calm productivity in their life and I'd love it if you could leave me a rating and review as that will help more people discover this podcast! If you would like to hear more from me to help stop faffing and take back control of your time, you'll find the link to join my mailing list in the show notes and I would really love for you to join us so thanks so much for your support and look forward to seeing you next time