Patriot Fun Show Part 1(Jeff Davis Classic 1997) [L SJtFfcjag]

00:00 Hello folks this is Jeff Davis with the legendary Jeff Davis show from Central Texas USA and I love my Kansan archives. Peace out baby! Thank you very much. Okay, Lawson Texas we're back

00:43 And we have a different type of format here tonight. As you can see, joining us... First I want to make a couple quick announcements here before we get started here. First I want to thank our crew. It's my personal opinion Is that your real chest hair? That is my real chest hair. Excuse me! I didn't know we were on. We'll get you the mask. First, I want to thank my crew for this fine... what I believe to be the best crew at ACTV. They are Eli! Eli!! Secondly, I just want to mention that after the fun tonight we go right back into serious business We have scheduled next week two former council members Bob Larson and George Humphrey And then to follow that in the second half we've got international shortwave radio talk show host Tex Marr is scheduled to be in the studio

01:46 With that, I want to introduce our panel here of funsters. Over here we have Ronnie Neal and Irene Davis and they're going to be performing here in the next within the next hour and a half or so, and my name is That's why I'm here to help the people that everyone know we genuinely care for them Otherwise known as Alex Jones. Over here to our left we have Arthur and several frequent guests on the program, Galen Ross. Galen good to see you here. Ex-CIA operative commander of the 8th Army And over here I want to go ahead and get y'all introduced yourselves because I'm not... Okay, do ya'll have a mic? Yes I do. Go ahead.

02:44 I guess you could call me a patriot, but... Yes sir. Yeah that's really good! I do what i can in my own small way What does it mean to be a patriot to you sir? You're not running this show Alex Bush! Well uh to get back to the foundation of the things that this country was originally built on and what it was intended to be. Absolutely, amen! And next Yvonne? I'm Kathy Layman and i'm a person who loves freedom and I realize that its being systematically taken away from people in defrauded out of people and up my eyeballs with that so im doing what I can in my way

03:28 Reverse that To my immediate right many people know Continual snipes the anger And this is the Infamous. Infamous Miss Joyce Isings. My husband's hiding in the lobby, he doesn't want anyone to know it's me. Infamous butcher of Banggog. You know how he is! This is... your outfit's just darling this is so cute you know when you look at Alex Jones and you're kind around him a while it really makes you believe in family planning doesn't it? Exactly that's right we need

04:22 We need policy, I agree! That's what i'm saying. We need... I think you need a Saturday, Val. I do! I need lots of Saturdays. Let me just mention that we have these giveaway prizes. A love course with KBET. 1300 AM News Talk Sports We also have, we're going to be running trivia as the night moves along. Galen Ross's book. Hope you've studied! We won't mention it since this is a fun show and we have trivia questions so with that I'm gonna go ahead and open it up here too. I know that this man to my left here Galen Ross has written a book on jokes

05:11 I thought you meant your book the ladies a book on jokes It's no joke. Well, I don't know what depends you kind of have to think of it as a joke Now wait a minute now we're getting off on oh we're too serious Okay I'll mention it to you later. What is my slip showing or something? No, no. Okay what? That right there we are you see that Joyce there you are beautiful lady yeah isn't she though i'm up there is that Sammy she's my best girlfriend named Sammy. She is hot! Sammy all red Is that your mother uh-huh great I see her By the way while we're all here I want to just mention

06:02 How's your radio program going, Joyce? Is it going fine and excellent? Oh yes. Charging forward? Charging forward I also mentioned that Mr Jones over here is on a trial basis with one of your competitors. I know it. 98.9 KJFK Austin No well KVETS the place to be of course The one and only... I just think 98.9 KJFK is awesome but yeah I'm on Saturday nights kiss me well that's good that your own Saturday night soon be nationwide let's open it up okay Galen I want to have you open it up with the first joke of the night before we get into jokes something about me for a while and then I wish Glenn was in here my husband

06:51 Isn't he a nice man? Amazing. How did in whose navel? Yours. Oh you mean just how how Lent gets in people's navels Okay, I don't know that Glenn knows that one but he is an engineer and doesn't know a lot about Lent Did you put much time on Lent? I thought you were going to tell us about like Lent in the church

07:28 You know that little flake you get on in there when you wear your new dress or shirt? I don't think she can get it. That's right, I'd be lost of mine though cause I'm... Cause your thin. No im not thin as hell! This is a family hour show Ellie. What did I say? well it depends on if you're an innie or an outie. If it goes in then... I got an innie outie oh well, must be pretty weird I just love your outfit! You really like that? This is actually courtesy. Jeff, you know you are a very handsome man this is actually courtesy we could go ahead and get that slate up there this is dirty but not the way it would rank now this is attractive its got the little keg layers look at these, its got gold on them what do you call these

08:21 Well something whatever thing I need to plug this. My costume is courtesy of any kind of costume No, but that's a good name if this came from any kind of costume and that's a really good name for it Jeff Do they know you're wearing it or did you steal it? Oh yeah! It's actually pretty nice That's nice And they gave me the uniform Am I supposed be saying You're not a commie are you? Me neither, I'm not no commie.

09:02 Oh yes! He ain't no commie. I like that. Do you all like to say it? Yes, but Alex is making me feel normal Exactly, we're here worshiping Elvis. I thought it was a fun show! Jeff told me he said come up here Alex and you run. You should be really strange. I'm ready to hear Jeff sing there's a guitar right there. That's right! We've got people in her that are gonna do that as the show moves along but not me I hope. But your dressed for it. I am going to sing the Hobbit school song. My boss Ron Rogers doesn't like me singing on my promos or the program he couldn't stop doing it

09:42 Probably he's wrought with jealousy over you know my abilities No doubt we need to get a close-up of Joyce because She, all of her listeners on K-Vet right here. Joyce there's Joyce. You should see his hair! Isn't she cute? A cute old lady nothing like us out there I tell you now they call me Joyce Packwood Sam and Bob do that have to put up with it I have to tolerate a lot from those two Why did they give you that characteristically offensive name? Oh, I don't think it's too offensive. I'm rather proud No, I am too! I love women like that Are you saying your like the Senator Backwood in a way? Of course there is the Backwood differently or... Is that where the name originates from? I think thats were Sammy got it Good Lord! This is blasphemous baby Lets get a shot here of Alex Hell ya people doing today Take a look at everything Galen There's Alex Jones My name is not Alex Jones

10:37 I am a Harvard expert in socialism and intelligentsia. I'm a good person who cares about the nation. I miss the spirit. He's a nice person to see, but every time i see his show he talks about how wonderful Harvard is like 300 times and then says that he wishes England still ran things and says Harvard was here before...Harvard was here before the Union and now Harvard will be after the union. And to me when I hear that no I like the guy I've watched your show before it just kind of...He's just glad he went to Harvard. He is a Republican too isn't he? So see I don't just knock Democrats

11:16 Slate for you. Yeah, what was that? You said earlier? I was going to you know like I'm a gallon when I folks I Was going to sing raw hide one gallon is when I get chance to I love all gray-headed. Yeah I'm serious Let's get a shot of them if we could and then we'll get over here to Vaughn and Kathy right? Howdy! This little fella here is actually going to sing us a song. Do you want to hear him sing the song? Yeah go ahead! Here we go son! Alright Ronnie, your gonna do it quicker than I do. Rollin' rollin' rolling keep rolling rollin' rolling Keep moving moving movin' though they're disapproving Keep those donkeys fluttering wishing my tailors by my side

12:26 My heart's anticipating, my true love will be waiting. Awaiting the end of the ride! Move him up, hammer him up, move him up, hammer him up, raw hide! Ride him in, ride him out, ride him in, ride him out, ride on man, rawhide! So did you want to go ahead and do your piece at this time? Yeah. All right, let her go ahead and do hers. She canned Tarani's

13:07 Yeah, that's grandma. We're in for a real treat! Okay so you're grandmama? Yes. So evidently this talent runs in the family. Well I'm going to sing Don't Be Ashamed of Your Age the first one. I like that one already don't you David?! Don't be ashamed of your age Now don't let your age get ya down life had begun until you're seventy-some and then you really, really go to town. Well darn man it's in your hair just look at all the fun puttin' it there! And I graduated from that old sucker stage not ashamed of my age by a penny! And I ain't ashamed

14:06 Alright! Woo! Boy, that was incredible. Jeff you look good your hair looks good like that. You like it? Oh man I've never seen anything like it before. I'm brought with envy. I think i'm gonna have my hair done dark. Brought with envy? That is so attractive, Jeff! Actually the wig is not very flat. Did you wear that through downtown?! No, but listen... You really know how to... You got Elvis' mistake there. Don't zip anything up in that thing and hurt your chest, hon. Well no, I just don't want to hear you scream. Okay? I think her seeing that hair kind of gets her a little bit

14:48 Hey, we went to a three minute break. We went to a three minute break and the crew wanted me to come out here and express some complaints that we got about you Jeff. Let me just say something. Wait a minute wait a minute first of all we're not going to wear these stupid glasses anymore that's one thing I like those Mike! That's so cute they're We have a laundry list of complaints against Jeff. A laundry list? A very long laundry... You know, I'm from Arkansas but this is primitive! Okay wait a minute okay first of all we hate to air our dirty his dirty laundry in front of all y'all but it frankly it stinks okay another thing we are tired of you coming in here at the last minute

15:38 Come, scrolling in here. Yeah like a star! Like he's in the building. From now on don't be late! There you go. 13 o'clock. Okay another thing... You stay out there smoking while we're on break. Were you smoking cigarettes? He stays out there smoking while were are on break Don't yell at ya they're horrible. I started a month ago again. Well your children know your doing this? I'm gonna have to make these stupid announcements to cover up for your mistakes. Here, put your... This is totally unsolicited. So the next time we will extinguish your cigarette and get you back in here quicker? You will distinguish it! Okay another thing. You know what the crew calls you? They call you lazy bones. No that's not what they really call him I know what they call him. I got a laundry list here for you. They call you uh lazy bones in there but I gotta say Jeff he does help us clean the studio up so yeah

16:32 He helps us clean the studio. Mm-hmm he sits in front of that TV Joyce he sits and private remedy He sits in front of a TV and gathers dust That's how he He is so lazy. He is so lazy folks that when he gets a cold his nose won't run Okay, boy is he lazy and another thing about the budget of the show? Uh-huh We're tired of this we thought that Chris Ramirez of night talk had a low budget show but he hadn't met Jeff Davis yet This is cheap

17:08 Yes, it is. Chris Ramirez has even hired the prank caller to work on his show but he hadn't met Jeff Davis The other night when we went out to dinner Jeff you wouldn't even tip your hat and I'm tired of it There's some money there's some money You better reserve notes in here? Yeah! There's some money next time you go out you tip something Another thing...you give us compliments You asked for a receipt. I don't want no more receipts, no more receipts! Okay? Okay what else do we got here? Do you like his hat? This is strange isn't it yeah i do like your hat though It's cute. I gotta say...I gotta say.... I'd rather put the glasses back on and take off that The only thing that Jeff has ever gave away is the secret

17:59 So what we're gonna do for him, you know President Clinton has even gave his underwear to charity. So we're going to give this... Are they boxers or briefs? Boxers! Okay so Jeff the next time you do your taxes You file this and give it to charity, but check the skid marks first. Or maybe if it's IRS leaving in there... Okay! Non-serious! This is really bad Mike! You know his first job... The best joke of satire Jeff. Wait a minute His..his Let me just tell you this His first job before he became whatever he is now was a window washer Joyce He was a goo...he's a gooey now? He was a window washer And he has been sponging ever since

18:43 So here you go, go back to your other job. Go back to your other job. Who's riding your stuff Mike? I thought it was going pretty good Joyce! It is honey and it shows the hat! Okay he's so cheap... He walks off airplanes with doggy bags okay If he could, Joyce. If he could! He would recycle toilet paper! Okay... There's your role Jeff. He belongs in right over there. He is so cheap! How cheap is it? He is such a cheapskate. He buys reversible condoms This is family hour. Okay listen

19:23 I'm sorry you all had to hear this. Listen, I got some other stuff to say to ya Jeff. Wait a minute! I ain't through with you yet. You sit back...you sit back we listen to you three hours all of Monday night and the rest of the week. On and on and on. Okay wait a minute he believes in free love He's never spent a dime on a date Oh well his wife is around that your wife? How did you get her? I said to her immediately she's so cute Well, I appreciate that Joyce. When Jeff takes a dollar bill out of his pocket... He screams? No! It takes George Washington

20:02 15 minutes to get used to the light. There you go, Jim. Hey! Federal Reserve? Okay... Yeah I know he's cheap. I've heard that about ya. Poor Karen. You were just talking about Karen? Uh-huh she so darned. Poor Karen. She asked for $50 to go shopping the other night. What'd he do? Faint? He screamed and said forty dollars?! What are you gonna do with that thirty bucks!? Okay! Poor baby. I thought that was good. I don't know how it... He holds a dollar bill so tight the eagle screams. This is... don't quit your day job. People call and write and ask why Jeff's nose is so big? Well, air... Yes! Air is free! He has got an Indian nose. Air is free Joyce. Okay, Jeff tries to save money any way he can

20:52 Well, that's somebody got to keep the government doesn't say anything. He went to Sears and Roebuck to get a vasectomy Everything went good everything went good except for one slight problem What was it? One slight problem when Jeff gets a hard-on the garage door goes up Okay I can't believe this is wrong timing! Okay he so stingy that he takes his Boy's glasses off now. What do I got in here? Okay, he's so stingy okay how stangee is that when his boy is not looking through the glasses

21:44 His idea of free speech is using somebody else's phone This looks like my house down here now, okay. Yeah, let's put it this away Jeff these other folks how come you ain't hammering on We're off the air. We'll be on in just about a minute more I'm getting something straight with you Jeff Okay, let's put it this way Jeff You have one-way pockets your idea of a perfect vacation is to stay home and let your mind wander

22:22 I got one more thing to say, Jeff. Oh good! Your daughter threatened to elope the other night. She did? Yes you asked for it in writing there it is okay I got one more thing to say. Are you sure this is the last one? You clean your act up! There it is, okay we're going back on in one minute. Sorry you've had to see this. This is Mike Hanson here and uh... We'll get right back to your classic video here on Hanson Archives or if you're watching Mike Hanson Archives on YouTube

25:41 You wrote it out in the car? Was that short? No, I've got it out in the car. And I'd have brought it to contribute to... What's the name of it? Powers and Princess. Interview him! It's your show! No, I'm listening go ahead. What is Powers and Princess all about? Sounds kind of like World Order or something. Sounds like Galactic Power Exo-Kern and Darth Vader merge together for a new attack. Is it fiction or...? It's fiction. It's a historical novel you might say It tells about conflict between angels and demons in the biblical account from the story of Genesis. Really? So anyway, there's my plug for my book but I have a serious question it might sound like a joke since this was kind of a joke night

26:37 When I was watching Capital Crimes, that's a tape on... It's an excellent documentary that Jeff is kind enough to bring to us at ACTV for the enjoyment of it. Very enjoyable and very well documented. Right. And uh... Capital Crimes talked fairly frequently about Charles Lindbergh Sr., and I knew had heard before that he was opposed to the Federal Reserve and had taken a position on it but Capital Crimes talked a lot more about it than some of them do And the question came to my mind, maybe somebody here can tell me the answer. What is the comparison between Charles Lindbergh Sr.'s position on the capital, on the Federal Reserve before and after the kidnapping? Was there any change in his position? Is this a quiz? No I'm curious.

27:33 He shut up after that. The lead of that time couldn't take on Charles Lindbergh directly and so they got him by getting his grandchild several years later, and that's just a warning to other congressmen to don't mess with us because it gets you your child or your grandchild there was just a warning Is this something he thought about before? Yes, right I'm including that in one of my next books title of that book will be the elite serial killers. Well I hope are we going to get to... Yeah, I got a comment about it. I'm gonna skip it myself because it's about you all. Go ahead. Well look you know worldwide monetary systems do all kinds of things and I know I dress like an idiot right now but yeah thats alright. You were supposed to be having fun! That's not what we're here for.

28:25 Right now, Japan is in absolute turmoil and it's shaking to its very foundations. They're in major decline... It's because of their massive banking system that they are so outdated and corrupt. And I'm just telling you these giant central banks which the Federal Reserve is, they just breed corruption and all kinds other problems. We need to focus on this and ask ourselves why we never hear about it in press? quick question answer hey by the way we are what do need to mention again that we had we are arriving at trivia deal you all screening calls or you hadn't said yeah four seven seven okay well go ahead take some yeah hi callers okay Joyce Joyce Isaac from cave at radio a good so running it give me hug she got an egg

29:18 because you gotta give me a hug Alex do his letters cuz he never hugs you I want more now well they got a close-up on it we gotta do that okay caller were doing a trivia thing here now and you actually win prizes we've got books with debt that was very well said Kathy by the way Thank you. I'm sorry it wasn't funny, but it's just so unfunny to me. You know the whole thing? That is a side note to all of this. You paid a lot of taxes when you were dancing professionally. Actually I didn't pay any. I haven't paid taxes in 22 years. Woo! Clap clap clap! We got a real rebel force leader here She has more cajones than I do. I can see we can't be all fun So might as well mention that as a side note

30:09 Good answer. Next week we got Tex Marsh coming in here, of course if you know... I've read some stuff on it. And then the following week the 10th were actually going to run a whole hour long video of Eustace Mullins secrets at the Federal Reserve. Oh I love that. He is as good as you get him. Okay but with that Joyce? What? We've got callers ready to rock. We've got prizes. Yeah, we got prizes. Joyce Isis! All expense paid vacation if you call the right number. You're on air caller. You're on air. Speak or be hung up on? Hello. You're on air caller. Next caller

30:49 All right, next caller. Hello? Yes sir! How you doing? Good I wanted to just follow up on something the lady to your right just kind of mentioned. I heard this on NPR driving home today American Express just laid off 3 000 employees and then in the very next breath they had just made a record 55 percent profits an increase in profits over the year before so here they are having a banner year and laying off three thousand people that's That's my comment. Thank you, sir. I see his point that that is going on but that is free market and I am for the free market and I can't knock them. Oh come on! They need to make that much profit and lay off that many people? No we should have a system like Stalin had where real arms exercise. You've never been to Russia. Oh yes, well as if communists didn't kill 50 million. Oh no, I've never been there.

31:40 No. Oh, I'm an uncultured boy. When I walk away that way to me all those people they need a job and they're Americans. We're getting too serious. Well not only that but we're forgetting the trivia folks, we've got prizes on The Jeff Davis Show tonight! Ladies and gentlemen you can tell how women are passionate with me. But this is tonight, what is it? 27th January 97 live Jeff Davis show We're here. The government needs to be out of people's way so that they can open businesses and not make it so hard, and not make the entry level so hard. But that is part of the legislation! That costs so much money you can't just open a business. We can never impose it. Exactly. They are putting small people out of business... I'm going to stay with you all night. Don't worry Joyce, I am leaving soon as you leave. No, you're gonna have to stay here because.... I have to go run and live weights again. Yeah okay there it is again we're getting that up there get that taken care of three times

32:48 Now we do have callers. Caller's, we're doing a trivia question. We're going to do it! Hey give the caller what they want Jeff. Yeah and we got a fantastic bonus prize. In fact we have video of it. Did you hear about our bonus prize? It is a rooster. Alright your on the air caller When I were to we got three of you guys Isaac. Oh, hi honey you're on the air good evening. Why are y'all dressed up tonight? This is fun night this is fun show yeah The lady with the little fuzzy baller hat yes take that ball just stick it right there my

33:40 Come on we're doing trivia question. Yeah, you want to have a camera? Do you wanna play trivia with us? Joyce do you have a camper? Do I have a one? Yes, you're on the air. A camper? Hello! You got an astro-tarm in there? You're on the air caller. Yeah we wanted to try number eight. Number eight. Number eight Joyce. Now there are prizes. Here I come to save your day. Yeah they are prizes. We've got prizes. A two year supply of PCP. Would you wait a minute would you stop that? I'm out of control. There are five Okay, here comes This says Mark Twain made a list of 27 let's see things to

34:34 to see mark twain made a list of 27 things to it says rescued in a house fire to be rescued in the house for should be what was the last thing on his list yeah what was the last thing Did you hear that? What was the last thing this is for a magnificent prize and we've got your number so if you win Mark Twain said if you're rescuing 22 things out of a house fire what's the last thing you rescue Alex it was on fire right yes sir just like Alex don't read the question when they call it another time okay you have a right to remain silent Alex.

35:10 This is liberals, they don't want you to talk. She accused me of calling her liberals. We got a winner in the studio! No, it's your mother-in-law. Oh Sorry about that caller sorry about that caller You were damn close Next next caller you're on air good job Turn down your television color hey you're on here

35:55 Trivia we're gonna get to you. We're gonna get to you in a minute hello You're on air fun show next caller. Hello hi, you're on here Yes, you're actually talking into telephone you you're on the air Ma'am yes, you're on air. Well I can't I hear somebody else and I thought he was talking to somebody else you're on the air Okay, question or comment then we've also got wait wait wait wait Jeff. I just called up to tell Joyce Hello she may not remember who this is Well, I was with Acorn and you were with KXAN and Mel Pillington. Yeah yeah! I remember you! Well, I just called to say hello and glad to see you. Well there's more of me to see. Okay y'all have a good time bye-bye Thank You. Now that's a fun... You should not be degrading yourself like that. I'm not degrading myself. I just used to be real skinny And i'm gonna get skinny again about time for burial probably when I get this accomplished

36:58 I've outgrown my clothes and i'm gonna either have to get one of those stretch outfits like this really stretches doesn't it jim? It certainly does. It needs to we need to uh what get another call yes, we do Yes, you're on the air caller hello Hello? Yes ma'am. How are you this evening? I want to play the trivia game but can you give me a number, do i need to pick a number yes ma'am yes before you do your prank call today seven would be good and also wanna ask Mr Ross why he doesn't slap that drum Hey listen, call into my radio show punk 98.9 Do you talk that way to that lady? No! That's the prank caller It's probably your mother calling in here Why does the statue... Why don't we let the prank callers through? Go ahead Joyce I'm sorry Ok We got another... Hey call on my show Clayton Be sure and call in this week on Saturdays Don't be evident

38:00 I like Clayton. Okay, what am i supposed to do? Put this back. The FBI likes him too. Am I supposed to... Are you there? No. Okay is there somebody there? We're screening callers. I never screen on my show except if it's Alex Jones calling in Can I make a suggestion while we're waiting for the next caller Since Gail's book is a grand prize here, I'd like to just hear a synopsis of it. That's actually not the grand prize! Oh that's not the grand prize? No but its an interesting book. It's a great prize. I'm married to a veteran and my brother was a marine so that qualifies me. I am a veteran of many things

38:47 Yes, okay. We taking a phone call? Yeah you're on the air caller! Okay take that green one but I don't want to hear that one fella again that's ridiculous. Oh be sweet to play with. Just I don't even wanna talk about it go you're on the air. It was just a joke Jim. Yo that me huh hey how are ya doing sir? I'm doing pretty good but all seriousness now I wasn't gonna do the crank thing but I'm not gonna do that and keep this very serious I want to know why you stole my air name. I'm a disc jockey in Austin, Texas and i can't use my disc jockey name because of your tv show What's your what? You mean you have Jeff Davis was your air name yes ma'am for five Why did you do that Jeff yeah is it on your birth certificate again Your name is not Elvis Davis Yeah, I'm Elvis Davis right joy uh-huh Yeah anything you say

39:38 You're on air caller. That's right this is a Davis over here. KGFK 98-9 I'm having fun if we could just do something with Alex, if he doesn't quit giving the call letters of that other station. This is Mike Hanson your good old YouTube video buddy and we got a new YouTube channel. It's Hanson Archives, H-A-N-S-O-N And we've got a new one coming out, Waco Archives Be sure to hit that subscribe button right now and if you'd like to write us

40:17 To help out with this project, she's going to throw the address up right now for you. Alright and if you'd like to call us 830-672-3089 Go ahead and tell them... Look at this little puppy! Tell him subscribe Say subscribe! Alright folks God bless! Thank y'all! Thank you ladies and gentlemen I have an extremely serious attitude, and the entire flavor... When I was a younger man at Harvard

40:53 We would go playing croquet in the afternoon and I always found it just limitless fun. We would plan and plot for the next generations of strength, overwhelming love that would flow forth from our conquest of this terrible little nation that should have never broken free from England! Yes you must!