Live With Power - Do What You Said You Would Do

00:00 Are you the kind of man that other people can count on? Are you the kind of man that can count on himself? Integrity is what comes down to. Integrity is the bedrock of commitment, it's not merely a moral guideline though It's a dynamic force that shapes your journey towards being a high value man. Roll theme! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go! Integrity man is your word you're flipping rule? Can other people count on you can you count on yourself

00:53 This is a wonderful part of being someone who's been coached. When I first got pushed on the subject of integrity, I thought it was unnecessary. I thought it was too much of a rule book I thought that I was someone who liked to play in between the lines, uh, someone who liked to make the most of all opportunities. And if you're being told that oh integrity if you don't do what you're supposed to do then you'll never get what you want... No, I kind of questioned that really but as time went by, as I learned what it meant to be someone other people can count on, to be someone who can count on himself then I realized that integrity is so powerful

01:45 You know, when Integrity's In and credit to Sangeeta and various people at Landmark for the work that I was involved with back in the mid 2000s that really pushed this subject to the front of my mind. It's a state of flow in your life where everything works because it's at the momentum. It's moving forward in a way that has things fall into line, has opportunities create for other people as people be able to count on you in your own life and your diary and your finances, in your commitments where everything is handled where there are no breakdowns,

02:32 I'm Because when you're constantly rushing around, clearing up mess, clearing up things that didn't happen. Then you've actually taken on more responsibilities and at the same time people have lost faith in you and as that, as you experience that then you start to lose faith in yourself. You know they talk about it in sport like a striker who's on a hot streak he thinks that every time he gets the ball is going to go in

03:18 If a striker is having a difficult time, then the doubt that creeps in when he goes to take that shot is more likely going to lead him hitting it on the wrong side of his boot or hitting too hard and it going over. That's integrity in action. And the likelihood for someone like that is that they probably haven't been going to practice enough, or they weren't eating the right thing or perhaps their fitness workout routine, their weight or whatever structure they've been given by their coach, what they knew themselves they should be doing if it wasn't in then that's where that doubt creeps in

04:00 And let alone when someone asks you and then you have to say, oh no. Well yeah but well I did...I mean I tried! What happened was that I went to do it and then this happened and then it wasn't my fault. You can see how just in that little wave of excuses and mini snippets that it's always about something else. It's always about something negative like it didn't happen or it went wrong there is nothing positive about it So it can occur to you like, oh it's all made up nonsense. It's got nothing to do with me. It's all other people but it's the little messages that crop up for yourself. The signposts of doubts and insecurities that have you when you go to kick that ball or take a shot that goes wide so it creeps up on us right?

04:52 If you have a plan for your life, if you've got a clear destination of where you're headed then what you know you need to do should start to fall into place. To a certain degree it should be obvious and if it's not obvious then you go and look at it. You go and work out what I should be doing? Who could be asking me? What plan could I put in place? What actions can I take? That is how you create a plan that is consistent with your vision and goals The integrity part then comes down to the commitment of doing it day in, day out. And that's not always easy but it gets easier when the vision that you're headed towards is crystal clear like who you are and what you stand for IS creating X and if who you are and what you stand for is creating X then all your actions behind that should be consistent with it

05:50 What time you wake up, what time you eat. How you treat other people and sometimes it won't look obvious like there won't be an instant connection A connects to B. It might be that you have to do a in order to create connection L M N O P whichever one it might be let alone Z or Z for our Sesame Street watching neighbors That becomes your compass, your commitment on a day-to-day level. Am I living in line with my values and commitments? Are my actions aligned with my visions and goals? Are my actions meeting the expectations of my commitments and relationships like can other people count on me? Can I count on myself but here's the thing about it right integrity doesn't just affect yourself it affects those around you

06:45 When I was on a leadership program, this was where the subject of integrity really got hit home to me most because how I started off was it's not relevant for me. It doesn't apply to me. Like, like what you're talking about has got nothing to do with the success that I'm creating. It's got nothing to do with the results that are possible for me out there. Like these two things aren't connected. Like I'm just having a good time here. It's got nothing to do with like this weird woo-woo stuff in the universe is going to be happening to me, bad luck or karma if I don't... If I do this and I can't have that. I couldn't see the connection between it but then

07:34 And here's a telling one on myself, basically. I was getting a coffee with a friend now hadn't known her that long but we were friends right? We were on the program together we knew each other from Brighton and had known each other about a year and we were getting a coffee The coffee place was at Victoria Station, so it was busy. There's like five or six people at the counter and lots going on and so she, the woman gives him her coffee we do the transaction and in a kind of switcheroo situation

08:10 I put some biscuits down and paid at the same time. So it definitely didn't look like I stole them, but it definitely wasn't a case of me paying for them right? Which clearly means that it was the first one yeah so away we go and then she goes you didn't pay for those cookies did you? I was like no no! And then she goes well that just isn't right at all It impacted our friendship instantly. Not something I'm proud of, but as a lesson as an experience it really hit home to me this subject of integrity and the ripple effect of it because who we are in the world matters her experience of me and her respect for me shifted our friendship indeed shifted in the split second that that happened because it had no integrity

09:10 I then was left with that really raw awareness of how it changed our friendship in that moment. And, I started to look back at all the other things that I'd done in my life that were on the dodgy, in the grey area. That is the ripple effect of integrity. For some people, it could be as basic as your mobile phone and you're having text conversations with someone maybe having an affair or maybe If you If you have a reaction every time someone reaches for your phone, because they're just trying to get directions cause they're passenger in your car and you're driving. And you ever freak out because there's something on your phone that you don't want them to see then consider that has no integrity. That is not consistent with what you said you stood for in terms of that relationship with that person. Because there's no trust, there's no freedom.

10:16 And so that is an out of integrity. Your relationship with that person is affected because they probably experienced, whoa! That was weird. All I did was try and put on Google maps and you had some kind of mini freakout what's that about? So then unless you deal with that in the moment it happens or shortly after every interaction with that person now becomes something about that level of distrust, that weird moment, that packet of cookies you didn't pay for And you can imagine that the exact opposite happens when you are someone who can be counted on, someone who's showing up in the world without any of that kind of baggage. You're like rich not rich financially but just as a richness to you there's a freedom about you there's clarity and charisma about you which is hey I'm here what we up to? Then that has the opposite effect. Your creating harmonious relationships that is high value

11:15 And please, as you're listening to this right. Don't get the idea that I'm telling you have to be some goody two-shoes your integrity is your integrity. Whatever you're up to, if in the circle of people you operate in the moral compass of yourself and their relationships that you have and the agreements that you have with those people are that those actions are okay then fill your boots. It doesn't mean they might sit consistently with me but if they're okay with you, if you're able to show off as your true self

11:53 If you're able to create the life that you desire free from nothing, free from no things stinking the place out then good on you. You are arguably living consistent with the life you said you were creating and in line with your own values and goals so know where you're at on what you're creating and let your own integrity be your guide. And if you're not sure ask the people around you okay? So what's the cost of compromised integrity? A bit like the example of the police car going by and knowing that you've got this, like oh shit I hope they don't come and arrest me. That's the cost of a compromised integrity. It is that relationship with a person who didn't want to see your phone react to it but it's more about what's it like for you. It's self-doubt and erosion of confidence

12:48 It's strained relationships and lost opportunities. And by lost opportunities, you might think you might consider someone who has full trust and faith in you saying oh yeah come with me on this round the world trip or take this business introduction as an opportunity to go and create a deal with this friend of mine. Or let's go out on a date because they know that you're an awesome guy they can count on like that's the impact on relationships and opportunities And the final part of The Cost of Compromised Integrity is that it attracts other negativity. It puts you in a space of doubt and confusion, which naturally opens up doubt and confusion in other people, which instead of moving enough flow state of everything working for you, it's now like, it's now messy. It's confused there's more doubt in the air. You can be sure that if you are a manager who turns up for his own meeting late

13:47 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen Show. In the moment that decisions are being made, in the moment that choices are available to us. You want to be able to check that like a checklist against is this consistent with what I said? I'm up to is this consistent with what other people can count on me for or expect before and that becomes like a superpower when you can slow down time like that and catch yourself in the moment and realize let's just say prep sups in the morning

14:44 You know, part of the High Value Man Project a commitment to fitness and wellbeing. Doing 25 press ups and 25 sit-ups on those days where you've got a lot else, a lot of other stuff going on is you honoring that commitment? At some point during that day, you will be faced with other challenges and knowing that yes I got down and did that workout this morning. That's who I am. That's who I say I am so when someone says to you can I count on you? You're able to say yeah, you can count on me. I know you can count on me because I can count on myself it's immediate accountability So if you have a doubt about being able to do something if you have a doubt about yourself Have a look at why that is

15:30 Where else in your life, if you're asked to, you know, if you were asked about doing something and you can't confidently say yes I can definitely do that. Where's that doubt coming from? Because when people talk to you and ask you stuff like that they want to be able to get a response back that gives them trust and confidence. I'm a bugger for saying yes to things without checking my diary And I have to consciously catch myself and say, Oh yeah. I can definitely do that. No, no, I can't do that. How would you look at my diary yet? Hang on give me a moment open diary, look at diary check diary far from that creating uncertainty and distrust in the person it should give them a greater sense that you have it all handled and are in control of yourself and the project in hand. That's integrity. That's commitment to the task in hand.

16:25 When you're doing actions like that, you can then say it's like the end of the week. Part of The High Value Man lifestyle tracker is to reward and acknowledge yourself, to make time for yourself when you review your week and you're doing that. You can look back at those moments ago. Yes I made an adjustment here. I operated like this and I got the result. That is teaching your brain. That is programming into your brain the power of living with integrity, the power of doing what you said she would do of these practical steps is celebrating it.

17:06 Rewarding positive outcomes. It's something that gambling companies and gaming companies thrive off of, right? They give us these mini rewards which makes us buzz off of it which gives us a dopamine hit which makes us play longer or makes us gamble again. You can hack that and use it to your own advantage by simply acknowledging and celebrating your success in maintaining your commitments, which is the long-winded way of saying celebrate your wins! If you made a plan for the day and you put 20 things on it, well that doesn't have much integrity because you could never complete 20 big things in the day. If you make a plan and it's got three jobs, three actions, three tasks for the day, And you get to the end of the day and you've done three of them successfully then acknowledge that celebrate those wins if there's one that didn't get done rather than being like oh god Oh terrible me duh You just need to clear up

18:03 What didn't get done? Who does it impact, what do you need to shape it ready for action tomorrow. That has integrity so it's about rewarding and celebrating the results that you got and it's also about handling what didn't get done in the powerful way why because that has integrity because you're consistent then with the actions and values that you set for yourself so that other people around you know Oh, I can count on him. He's totally got this handled if he says it's going to get done and I know it will do or I won't, I know I won't get left exposed on this which for me there is a phrase which I use regularly around my own mantras and affirmations is Around Me Everything Works Now

18:55 That is basically integrity as a baseline. I don't know that that's the case and I do know that I drop the ball loads of times, but because I have actions in place to catch me, to help me, to support me, I'm able to say yes this is what happened there this was the breakdown in the system and this is the adjustment I've made it around me everything works and when it breaks I handle it so that it works. That is how you set integrity as your baseline It's a lifestyle. It's a commitment to being true to your word, it's about embodying the principles you believe in not for external validation but because it is a true reflection of who you are. Can you imagine what that's like for people around you? Commitment is the third C in the high value man 3xc formula part of our system for living. It doesn't mean like rule book

19:55 I'm The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen Show.

20:52 And you might've heard other shares of mine about my weasel list and realizing where my integrity was out. It reminds me that I'll probably be good to do a full share about that. I think I'll do it as a live inside the High Value Man Brotherhood, our group, our base camp over on school so we do live events in there on a regular basis. We have our Monday morning accountability call. We have the coaching sessions on a Thursday, the Ask Me Anything or Any Question Answered. If you check the calendar for the upcoming events we also have our dedicated single dad Sessions, our relationship resets. Our monthly fitness challenges everything that you need to be the man that you want to be. You can find inside the High Value Man Project so search high value man project or search but go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group or simply search high value man project on school and that will get you into our community at the free Basecamp level once you're in there look out for

21:52 Uh, dates on which our next Inner Circle cohort will be going live. And that's where you can get involved and really accelerate your results forward to be the man and dad you want to be. You've got any questions then let me know. I hope this has been a value to you please share it with other men in your life who also would benefit from the high value man message. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Let's go! Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow dads! Creating the life you deserve starts with YOU. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go