How to Give Your Woman Massive Orgasms feat Dr. Steve Bodansky

00:00 Men, would you like your wife or girlfriend to be begging you for more sex? And I'm guessing you would because we all would. No it's not about lasting longer doing more dishes or helping out more right or about six-pack it's about learning her body building real intimacy and giving her the kind of orgasm that makes her feel seen safe and turned on like fuck Today I'm joined by a man who changed my life in this area, Dr. Steve Bodansky We're diving into the skill of orgasm the truth about intimacy and why every man needs to master their clitoris? I picked up a copy of Steve's legendary book Extended Massive Orgasm back in 2001 and not only is it giving me more confidence in the bedroom...I'm pretty sure my girlfriends since that time have appreciated it

00:47 Steve is a sensuality coach, author of over a dozen books and one of the few people on the planet who has spent decades literally studying and teaching the female orgasm. This episode is honest practical and probably unlike any Welcome to the Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man Blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go! Hello Steve Absolute pleasure to have you here on The Jonnie Jensen Show. You are coming to us all the way from California and as I said in my intro, someone who's influenced my life significantly a while back, I was listening to Russell Brunson's book on creating your sort of top 100, the people you'd like to have on as guests and you were on that list and you responded so it's an absolute pleasure to have you here. Thank you! Pleasure is my favorite word

01:48 Good. Just by way of an introduction, I mentioned in the pre-roll how many books you've written and this book in particular Extended Massive Orgasm you wrote with your wife and coauthor who is dearly departed right now before we get stuck into like the more useful info about The contents of that book and intimacy and relationships. I'd love to know a little bit about how that book came about, and you know has it been as significant a book as you hoped it would be? It's obviously over 20 years now since it was first published, and then of course your loving wife who left you departed last year. Yeah um...it was her appetite! I didn't like writing

02:42 Steve Bodansky, Bodansky, Extended Massive Orgasm As she said, I want you to write a book. So she wants you start writing so I started writing about our lives mostly about her life and we lived in this commune called Morehouse which became a university for awhile in California and where we learned a lot of this information the background to it

03:23 And then, I don't know why. I didn't finish it but I wrote a bunch about horror and I started writing a book about our teaching and we weren't going to publish or anything just for our own so become better teachers is have the information expanded and understood better. So I went for our own benefit and it came out so good that we said let's send it to a publisher. And I was naive. I didn't know anything about publishers but the first publisher we sent it to said yes Steve Bodansky, Bodansky, Extended Massive Orgasm

04:16 But originally it was called The Art of Clitoral Stimulation or The Art of Sensuality. That was our working title, and we were doing this course on a one-hour orgasm — intense orgasm where I would stimulate Dürer's genitals with my hands in front of the class They would ask questions and I would answer, and she could answer questions too. And while she's coming so it was pretty... She's multitasking there. So anyhow, we called the course The Demo Course. And the DEMO was the acronym for a demonstration of an extended massive orgasm. We included some that in the book and published it so that's a better name. Let's call it Extended Massive Orgasm. That's how the name of the book became. It was about information that we had learned and information that we had developed after we left the commune

05:19 The book did so well because of publicity, which happened coincidentally. Vera had done this talk at some women's conference in New York—we were doing some classes in New York at the time—and there was a journalist there who wanted to put Vera's story about the one-hour orgasm in The New Yorker magazine back 1998, maybe 1999. And the New Yorker says we like this story but it's a little too racy for this month, maybe next month and kept postponing it and postponing it for over a year. Finally she submitted to this magazine called Talk Magazine I think Tina Brown started it who is a famous publisher of magazines. It only lasted two years but was really good magazine and they accepted it and the article came in at exact same time when the book came out so were inundated from all over the world with

06:13 You know, interviews in Germany, England, France, South Africa, Australia, Canada. The publishers sold the rights to different... even to Ransom House in England and France and Germany and Romania and Brazil Portuguese was written in some I think Taiwanese or Chinese. So the book did really well so Right away they said, we want you to start doing a second book. And I said put all the information we know in the first book—I don't know what to write here! Maybe we'll do a Q&A and have people ask those questions and answer those. He says that's a good idea but we want a little more so i came up with the idea of let's do it illustrated guide to Extended Massive Orgasm or like illustrations as you can to like photographs

07:06 I guess for legal reasons. Yeah, yeah. But we've got this really great artist and he drew all these really nice drawings of the things and wrote different information actually some similar but a lot more about male orgasm too and that book did really well too they didn't have the same publicity but it still did really well on Amazon. Yeah! Well i'll have to pick that one up as well oh yeah you should check that one out Otherwise, I've published 18 books now. Four novels, five novels, poetry books and memoirs about myself and Vera. Then she got Alzheimer's and taking care of her. And the last book I published was called Never-Ending Love so it was the last few years with her but she's still having some orgasm until like the last two or three years

08:01 When she's like, you know, she was this... She wasn't up for orgasm but she still actually had orgasm. But I wasn't stimulating her genitals and we were kissing and hugging and then she'd get off the mic on a hug because she was like really orgasmic. Yeah beautiful. It was easy for me. Well that's a perfect segue into this topic because so many men and couples even are around the subject of female orgasms Perhaps aren't quite so good at that, aren't quite so tapped into how that is easily accessed and becomes part of their lovemaking. Well most people don't know about it. Right yeah! And that's what I want to sort out. There's more information now than when i started in the 70s

08:49 Still, of all the books I've read on sex, The Extended Massive Orgasm is one of the most impactful without doubt. It's very descriptive and it tells you what to do. Yes! It really is a guide in that respect and that's what I think so many men need. So let's talk about... Some guys don't like to read, or women don't quite get it from the books. So they want to come see us, me back then. Now I actually have a friend who helps me out so I still seek clients who want personal instruction but that's optional

09:28 Yeah, and that's important. I will mention that at the beginning rather than always people wait till the end you know people can go to your website now ExtendedMassiveOrgasm.com is their website yeah? And there are loads of links to all your other books there and all the demos in the video courses and the one hour Extending Massive Orgasm But let's dig into this, right? So why do men get this so wrong you know most men are taught about real sex. Most of the time we just said don't read about it. We watch porn and we fumble around in the dark. There is very few places to learn and guys want I think they know it all too. They want me say that they don't know so they won't ask questions or try to find out about

10:15 And a lot of women don't know or won't tell the guy and he's not asking her. And our bodies are different, you know? So in your experience working with people is it literally the fact that a lot men don't know where the clitoris is or don't know how to find out what to do with it? I mean... When I first got married I didn't even have heard of the word clitoris. It was 1970 so I think most people probably know about the clitoris now Cause it's a rabbit. The rabbits helped, uh, helped get awareness of, of, uh, being there I suppose. But um, but they don't know exactly how to expose it and how to get from under the hood. There is this specific techniques that make it more productive? Yeah. Make you stick out, make invisible like it's in the book yet.

11:09 And so, obviously a men's approach to sex is very different to women. For a lot of couples that's part of the problem is that the man is not understanding what the woman needs. Is that right? What can you say about it? Well I think everybody's different. You can't put everybody in the same ballpark but generally And I would say, you know men think like a woman's vagina is equal to his penis. So if he's getting off when fucky she should be getting off having intercourse too. Right yeah okay. I don't know if can use the word fucky? Is that okay? No we're fine we can sweat it out really! So anyhow um yeah there are very few nerve endings inside the woman's vagina and

11:55 I would say less than half the women probably quite a bit less orgasm or have good orgasms with intercourse. Yeah, so the guy could be pumping away and flipping thinking she's loving it and actually it's just really his pleasure that's happening there. It's like batting his testicles back and forth. It's not the same thing. Now if you get involved get her Steve Bodansky, Bodansky, Extended Massive Orgasm

12:37 But I'm not like an intercourse expert, I'm a manual stimulation expert. That's a good title to have yeah! My name is Steve, I am a manual... what did you say? Manual Stimulation Expert. Yeah nice! The MSE, the Don of the MSEs. Yeah and so listen for everybody listening right what we're going to do is we're gonna make you wait till later on in the podcast. You can jump ahead if you really feel the need but as we get towards the end of it we're gonna go into some of the more practical actions here but I feel it's really important to bring up

13:17 So, I'm going to start with a couple of things. Sex becomes boring or less frequent. I know from the men that I work with inside High Value Men, so many men are frustrated about the lack of sex in their relationship and then it creates all sorts of other problems. Frustrations and communication goes out the window so you're even further away from that outcome

13:53 You know, in all your work you've done and you've just said you're not an expert at some of these other things but you have worked with lots of couples. Is intimacy part of the problem or is it where the problem starts? How do couples address that? It's probably a lack of communication in general. And I mean if he doesn't know how to pleasure her why would she want to be...it's not fun! I'm really into self-pleasuring and learning how, how I like to be touched or teaching women to touch themselves. To learn how they like to be touched and communicating it to the man. Yeah

14:34 So that's a really fascinating sort of aspect of this is people who are struggling to enjoy sex, if they've not spent much time with themselves so to speak. If they don't know how to pleasure themselves and then they don't communicate well in the relationship and there's already a big gap, a big sort Steve, what are the barriers to overcome before we can get to real sexual intimacy between each other? Right. And like my girlfriend does podcasts too and she interviewed me and I just finished a short story book it was titled Boy Meets Girl. It's all about these stories of men meeting women or women meeting man.

15:25 Major ways to relate and to increase the relationship. And I say, well playfulness is really good attention and revealing who you are and revealing your desires and noticing like how your attention, how your playfulness and how you're revealing is landing so if it's not landing well maybe you should try a different tactic Not be so playful, not be so rivulet. And um... So she said, oh porn! She called it porn. Porn not porn. Right okay. So and she wants to- so we started in relationship coaching together and we call it like the porn method. It started from that little interview about the book. Yeah okay. That was kind of cute. So anyhow I think just it's important to be playful, to be curious

16:23 And, you know, and to communicate what's going on with you and what things...and to find out about the other person. So like at all times, let's say like bringing an attitude of playfulness to the relationship? Yeah. Out in the bedroom, in the bedroom or wherever, you know? Yeah. I see so many couples being serious with each other. They're just they're in the business of life. They're just getting on with stuff. They're doing the shopping, they're sorting out their kids, they're in their routine there's like it just seems doesn't seem to make sense if you If you've got a pet, you gotta nurture it. Feed it. Walk it. You gotta look after the pet if you don't clean your house your house ends up in dust. If you don't water the plants plant dies like our relationship, the intimacy, the connection, the joy should be something that we tend to and give love and attention to in the same way I just it just baffles me really yeah so not gonna be like up all the time but

17:21 But by communicating, even when you're down that you feel better. You know the person listens like if I she'll say something and you know but something where she's not something is not going quite right and i want to give advice right away all she wants really actually is just for me to listen So, we're going to talk about the Saying something. I got taught this, it's a really powerful line... Do you want me to listen?

18:13 Or would you like me to help fix this? Cause I'm happy to do both right now. And she's like, Oh my God yeah, I'd really just like you to listen and then give me a hug at the end of it. Okay perfect. Yeah. I've got you. Put your phone away while she does it otherwise we'll ruin the whole moment! Yeah. So people in restaurants he's looking at his phone and she's looking at her phone and I was like... oh man are they talking to each other on their phones there? I know. I just want to go up and take their phones off them when I see that Okay, so moving on to sort of the next point here. You mentioned it yourself about knowing your own body in order for you to be able to communicate what what you like right? For a man To know a woman's body, I've got some my notes here and now you can't give what you don't understand Many men treat women's bodies like their own or worse like a mystery okay So when

19:06 Your book's great because it literally illustrates some of these things that we don't know about. But what is it that most men don't know about female anatomy? Well, as I said like the vagina isn't the penis, it's your clitoris and attention... The focus is on the clitoris and you're not diving... Don't be a clitoris diver! You want to like, I kind of want her to like beg you to touch it. So, you want to start from the extremities. You know women love... most women, when women in general love to be kissed and neck and held and romanticized And the more that a guy can be romantic with her The more animalistic she becomes. Actually guys really want to be romantic and women really wanna be animals

20:01 Play the roles in order to get it out of each of us. So Disney hasn't helped us then? The more animalistic and, you know, more romantic I become anyhow. Yeah. And the more romantic I become, the more animalistic she becomes so it kind of works hand-in-hand. Right okay. And romantically just putting your attention on her listening that can be romantic So she likes romance, yeah? Well she uses romance in order to like open up. Okay so... She really likes being an animal! Okay yes and that's what you're trying to release yeah. So there's more to the body basically so we're you know it's not just the classic sort of get into bed and stroke her back and hope that she realizes that is you wanting sex basically isn't it? Yeah I think also like um

20:53 Steve Bodansky, Bodansky, Extended Massive Orgasm My lips are so like connected to my genitals, so when I'm kissing I usually get turned on and engorged. This kissing... Yeah and that's a quite naturally that's a case of asking someone what they're like whether they'd like to be you know stroked down their side whether it's when you notice the response from them when your stroking their leg or there inside of their legs and like you said its not just diving straight in your creating... Women love to be complimented They love flattery You can tell a guy

21:46 Steve Bodansky, Jr.: Wow. You're so handsome. Okay once is enough you know? I love your haircut. They tell women like I love your hair you know that outfit looks amazing that outfit but you know that color on you the more you can do about that the more she'll Open up to. Yeah, so and this is what I've seen you reference this in other interviews You know there's a the the there's not just foreplay obviously There's the play then there's foreplay and then there's arousal on it So it is you know it is a whole thing is arousal yeah The words foreplay you know before you play that's like silly word really It's all play and it's all arousal yeah okay right?

22:31 Um... In terms of, you know being in bed with someone creating this sexual occasion right? This moment. The female orgasm is very different to the male orgasm and I think that men need to understand that and i would like to think a lot of men do but they it's...I think from some of those things that I've heard you say a lot of men don't really understand that what can you say about that? They're similar in a lot of ways too The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, Dr. Steve Bodansky, Extended Massive Orgasm

23:16 You know, unless they felt it themselves. They haven't seen other women that have an orgasm but they've seen probably guys squirting and so they're trying to imitate guys so a lot of women want to squirt you know? And not that it's bad to squirt but it shouldn't be the goal. The goal is really to have pleasure now right in the moment Yeah, so I think with both men and women there's ways to make it better. And one of the things is just relax your body not tense it up. Okay But men tend... Men usually just masturbate just to release the tension and so they can go on with their day You know? It's pleasurable for a few seconds. We used to call it the crotch sneeze Right okay yeah, I've heard you say that

24:05 So that's for men and I can relate to that. It's very much about attention, really. And women have that too they kind of like pinch up and they get all the climax and they don't want to be touched anymore if they've had enough. Yeah but in terms A woman's experience when she's, obviously people like having orgasms. They're a pleasant experience but for a man to understand that is it different for women or the experience that they're hoping to have? Is that side of it different because when you get down to business

24:44 A female, a woman's orgasm generally takes longer to arrive at than it does. That that's true in general but not true if you're trained because the women that I've...it was like Gera and some of the women who we taught and some of the women that um i taught with they get off before being touched even they just just the thought of being touched start having an orgasm and that's possible for anybody Right, okay. So... But in general a lot of women like it slow and you know you got to start from here and start from the outside and work your way and she's not going to be feeling as much but if you train your body by self-pleasuring and teaching your partner how to touch

25:48 You can really have, like we call it an extended orgasm. Extended Massive Orgasm. Let's say it's this extended orgasm means starts from the first stroke and continues getting better and better but is extended in the way you extend it by relaxing your body putting attention on your genitals feeling as much as you can and communicating what you're feeling In easy ways, you don't want to have to think about it too hard. Acknowledging the pleasure of your feelings and that person touching you wants... You know in the beginning like you want to like train with each other, train each other to touch you where you want to be touched but he has questions if they'd like it faster or slower a question so they can answer yes no you won't have to think too hard because if you start thinking then they're not going to be feeling anymore

26:41 But a lot of couples might feel uncomfortable. This is weird, right? Because it's never spoken about but so a lot of couples would think that the other person wouldn't want to talk about it during the thing. So they're probably thinking the same thing. I guess you're encouraging couples Both of you probably want the other to say, this is good. Carry on. This is good. Do it harder. This is good. Do it slower. Like so both of them want to say it but none of us do say it. So I guess you can say yes definitely definitely do that right? Yeah like all my novels most of my novels have sex scenes and they're always behaving the way I'd want a good sex scene Steve

27:41 I hate it in the dark. And not like, I want flipping spotlights on the room you know what I mean? But a little bit of light so you can see each other and feel each other and see how each other's responding. Yeah if you get your hands on the clitoris and see it engorge let her know what's happening here. It's turning pink or more purple or it's engorging its getting bulbous now there's some ejaculate coming out of your genitals now yeah So that's all turn-on kind of stuff. But people like are conditioned not to talk about sex, just you know the guy is supposed to know what he's doing and then you know I'm supposed be a sex hero and most guys aren't as you say. Yeah which makes it even harder so okay we're talking about playfulness in and out of the bedroom, we're talking about communication okay? These are kinds of obvious but clearly they're not so much

28:37 Let me go back. So like, when I girlfriend's like she's kind of new to this orgasm the way that I've learned it and the way I teach it and so in the way that we do it is one person is what you call the effect person they're the one who receives the pleasure, the receiver of the pleasure and the other person has a role Steve Bodansky, Bodansky, Extended Massive Orgasm

29:33 So I'll do it in a different way. It won't quite get into position, but I'll do it from like you know... She likes to be looked at and face and hug at the same time. We have our legs wrapped around each other. But because I know exactly what I'm feeling, I don't have to actually see it all the time And To bring this level of playfulness to the subject of sex is what's missing for so many couples. To be able to have some fun with it, to be able to say we're going to do... Do you want to do some stuff that feels really great and allows us to explore each other's bodies and allows us to have extended massive orgasms? That's not like would you like to lose a finger or would you like to lose a kidney? Like this is not a tough subject! It should be very...it should be an easy yes. Yeah well if he kind knows what he's doing and he's confident about it then we can surrender to that

30:36 And Well, let's get into the sort of the bit that people have been probably waiting for really Steve. I know you need to read the book right? And to touch on that point that you said about some guys don't like reading right this isn't like a 2000 page... Oh, you made a video now okay great! Videos vary back in their heyday so it's not new video but

31:26 And we made it into a link that people can download. Yeah, and it really shows her an orgasm for you know what I'm doing actually with my fingers. So you're kind of excused to say, I don't like to read. No excuses! Men there are no excuses here women should be happy about this. The illustrated guide also has a lot of So you can just look at the pictures. Yeah, okay so let's but in the interest of it being a podcast and us giving people what they want here if you've said about this can be taught I've heard you say another podcast this is a skill this is a taught... It's not rocket science but yeah it's not like

32:13 So, where do we start? You know you talked about erogenous zones and building the tension up. These are things that all men know about here but then we're getting into the subject of extended massive orgasms and finding the clitoris and knowing what to do basically What can you share about this, you know, this subject? And maybe it's when we're getting ahead of ourselves here. I mean, would love for people to get to the Extended Massive Orgasm part but just some what can you say about clitoral stimulation? What can you say about men understanding that area already, you know, does actually having some confidence around this subject? Yeah, I mean, the clitoris is has more nerve endings than your head or your penis. So it's there for

33:04 It's only function is pleasure. It's a beautiful thing! It's like champagne, it's just there to be enjoyed. Mama June used to say that the penis is like a multi-tool you know? You pee through it and ejaculate comes through it and its also there for pleasure. The only function of a clitoris is pleasure so... Steve Bodansky, The Atomic Monk Show, Steve Bodansky, The Atomic Monk Show,

33:52 And You know, they're touching it too fast. They're trying to imitate a guy and all kinds of reasons you have to approach it slowly with some people and some people like take to it a little faster than others. Yeah I mean that's really valid more than valid as a vital point this book is for men and women. It's not you know... A single woman could get a lot value out of this book

34:35 Yeah, of course. Even lesbians? Yeah well definitely lesbians I mean a gay couple two gay guys are not going to get much value out of this probably. Well an Australian guy they might get a little bit out of it. Okay right so but that's kind of you know what for basics people so the clitoris is at the top of sort of the vagina area and it is under a hood so there is some level of revealing it. The women like have hoods that don't And if you're listening to this podcast, I'd like to invite you

35:35 You know, spread her labia and pull up on...you know if you read there's different ways to pull up in the hood sort of to expose the clitoris. You want again, you know, to see the clitoris at least before you touch it. Right yeah Yeah, and there are obviously some lubricant as well involved in that. I mean this is...I got this from your book right? You know the techniques on how to use different fingers to move different parts and reveal things. It's incredible but so that's For men that don't know this, that's in the book. But here we are hoping to explain it a little bit better and with the communication there you'd hope that your girlfriend or wife would be involved in the conversation helping guide you. You got some light on using some lubricant what happens? Yeah yeah. And be seductive. Seductive means make an offer

36:29 And if they come towards you, then that then you can go further. If they start backing off and you got to cut it back off a little further than the back of like read the room by the way of playing with somebody's yeah so if they're moving their pelvis towards like if they're getting involved themselves and you probably doing something right except when really one Oh, okay. Okay, cool. Yeah so this is I mean in terms of the process this is a two way thing to learn this skill and I guess it's important to reference here that for a guy at this time

37:11 It's not all about, oh I'm just building up to the moment that I can get involved. That bit is being held off right? This isn't just like a runway for guys who are like, I'm going to get her ready and then getting stuck in myself. And the way you touch her is not to try produce anything at her but you're touching for your own pleasure. That's one of the biggest things I would tell somebody it's just touching because it feels good to your hand so She doesn't feel like she owes you anything. A woman may not want to have you pleasure them because they don't want to be owing it to you, even though some people do want to give back, they don't have to. You're doing it for your own pleasure and touching her for your own pleasure. Yeah. It's not true. I shouldn't be transactional that that's kind of what I was saying there is this. Not like all I'm going to do this to you so that I can get this right or I'm going to do this to you so in a minute you'll be ready to have me get inside you if you really enjoy it, you'll be

38:06 I get orgasmic too often. Sometimes, should i tell her what it's what I'm feeling now? No but I think the important thing to reference here Steve is that this actually extends the love making like you know from my point of view and experience this knowledge this kind of attitude towards sex extends the love making which for me unless your actually objective as a quickie It should be an enjoyable period, you know, an extended amount of time in the bedroom or wherever you're doing it. You don't want it to be like a fast portion. I think both. You can have longer ones and short ones sometimes. If you have if you like train... Like a woman trains her body to really have an extended path orgasm five minutes of intense orgasm is allowed orgasms

39:02 Because most orgasms, you know the people have like maybe 10 seconds. So if you learn how to train your body you can do it quicker and you can also extend it and for longer and create new playing... Create your own experiences each time out I mean doesn't happen every time. For me personally having that almost like a repertoire basically being able to have quick sex if you want but Being able to enjoy sex over a really, you know being in bed. Being in the moment having that time together and touching each other and there'd been a whole experience around it over you know just... You're talking here about an hour when you were talking about that? Yeah I mean an hour of orgasm is a lot of orgasm most people yeah I don't recommend that like they want

39:59 Duplicate that, but this is something that we show as optional. Yeah it's possible It's possible but you don't have to do that We just want you feel more and longer and better than you have Again the goal is to be present through this stroke now The only way you can have extended orgasm if your present now If your not present then you start going away And the orgasm will go down If one partner goes away and starts going into their head, not feeling the other partner will start going away. So the better you are at pleasuring somebody, you'll notice that they've gone away and it's called quitting before they quit you. Right. Okay? You want to stop... In this way there is a lot of peaking. You don't just keep rubbing and rubbing and rubbing.

40:58 Steve Bodansky, Bodansky, Extended Massive Orgasm. Where I was coming from the point, I was making before about sex being an experience. Sex being something that you enjoy together rather than being just a reluctant like oh yeah go on then and too many couples so many of the men coming into High Value Man Project Uh, are successful and have got good lives and things that you know in almost every other area is working. One of the so often aspects they're like what I really want to be better is my relationship. I want us to be fun like it used to be. I want us to have more regular sex. I want the sex to be good. I wanna feel like we're lovers not just roommates as a classic line

41:57 And this subject for me is, is part of it. Is joyous sexes and multiple orgasms is knowing each other's bodies is you know getting some different types of games and toys and so the whole...and it doesn't have to be like freaky stuff I'm just talking about different vibrators and prompt based card games. Yeah we're kind of against vibrators. Right okay. Again, you kind of imitate a man. You're tensing up with the vibrator and then you get off and then you don't want to be touched anymore usually. I mean some people can probably different kinds of vibrators now. I'm not a vibratory expert either but it actually kinda numbs the clitoral area

42:46 Okay. So when you do touch it with the fingers, it doesn't feel as good as it can. Right? Okay. Yeah. Like we've like abused it kind of thing. Okay so what I take from that point is that there's a lot There's a lot of depth for couples here to go around this idea of sensual touch and being able to experience others' bodies. It is that there are deeper levels of pleasure that can be obtained, and so for couples who are experienced and happy to try things as well as couples who are stuck in a rut and not really doing anything, this sensual experience of getting connected is so powerful for couples.

43:24 Yeah, it's about your attention on somebody and asking questions. Being curious about what is going on. And there are follow-up questions when they don't give you full answers. Totally! Couples need to learn how to talk again Okay, great Steve. So what's um you know I was looking to how we might wrap this up and definitely people should go and get a copy of Extended Massive Orgasm like you said yourself it's available on Amazon as well as all other normal bookstores or any other outlets. Yeah recently now couple years ago I published Self Pleasure that has got like all the exercises and some some of the exercises that people wrote up in it

44:11 Plus a bunch of, I've been studying like Buddhism and so it's got like a lot of information about the self and then you know happiness. And so i think it's a really good book if you want to learn how to pleasure yourself first. Okay great what's that book called? Self-Pleasure Delving Into Happiness and Ourselves. Okay brilliant! And I'll tell you one subject I'd just like to wrap up with Is sex getting better or worse in the world? There's like proliferation of porn everywhere, right. And then I speak to couples and they're just not having a good sex life you know. I can't help but feel like you're in... Not in the porn industry but you're in the industry of sex and intimacy. I think it is getting better than it used to be. My parents

45:03 They didn't talk about sex at all. No, here we are talking about it right? So there must be more information out there. You have the internet so there's all kinds of information out there most of it is valid. Are couples getting sex wrong? I think a lot of...I don't hear a whole lot of great stories. Yeah and that's a shame right okay so as a way of wrapping up well no I don't know if its a shame you know this opportunity for me to And And, you know what can you say as a great way to wrap this up? What can you say about what's possible like what's possible for couples from Great Sex. I think your intimacy grows your hope the rest of your life will go. You can get their income increase even everything will flow easier if you're getting off really well and appreciating and acknowledging

46:21 And taking care of your partner. Yeah, yeah to me a relationship without sex is fundamentally broken really Well I mean like with Vera the past couple years of her life she couldn't have genital stenylase it was still very very intimate and she had dementia so actually couldn't understand but you're so present in some many ways So just a hug Steve, that level of intimacy to be that connected what you just described there wasn't just oh yeah we I still gave her a hug. That's not what you just described even the energy from you the language your body language

47:12 That was a very intimate description of a hug. Couples don't even have that, let alone good sex life. Yeah well it's available and probably even better than that! Well I'm going to take this as an opportunity to expand my knowledge Again, ExtendedMassiveOrgasm.com is the website.

48:05 They can contact me through that. I answer emails... Great! And the video calls? The video things, that's on your website? The videos are on the website you get to purchase it on the website. Brilliant. The books are all there they're all at Amazon.com. I'll put links in the show notes. Target UK whatever it is yeah. I will put link links in the show notes to all these things so anyone and if you come over to High Value Man projects... Yeah and then when I do coaching Now I'm doing relationship coaching with my girlfriend and then sex coaching with my other friend. Brilliant, brilliant! Well Steve like i said at the beginning of the show

48:46 Your work has massively benefited me. Yeah, exactly and I thank you for it and I'm really grateful for the opportunity to have you on this show and add value to other men and women around the world. I wish you all the best continued success and the impact your making on so many other people Thank You! I appreciate your attention, yes good questions I see a lot more pleasure in your life. Good stuff! Okay Steve, guys if you enjoyed this get yourself over to the highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group that's our base camp that'll get you into all the free tools and resources that we have available and if you want to work more closely with me then just simply book that power call and we can chat about that and all the other work that we offer inside The Inner Circle and working one-on-one and neat

49:40 Okay men, let's go. Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show! Be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with fellow dad creating the life you deserve starts with YOU get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's Go