How To Find A High Quality Woman

00:00 Men, how to find a high quality woman without losing yourself. It's not about what you're doing it's about who you're being let's go Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go! Men men men it is good to have you here How To Find A High Quality Woman Without Losing Yourself? The Facebook groups I'm in... It was always The

01:01 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Much of a dead end or rabbit hole some of these men are going into and the advice that they're being given in a lot of places from other man I'm not sure that I'm really fully on board with and we'll talk about why that is today. We will talk about the places you need to go to find the kind of woman that you would like to meet and be with, or indeed adjustments you need to make inside your relationship so that the woman you are with

01:46 Jonnie Jensen Fundamentally though, it starts with who you are being. It starts with creating the life that you desire... Being the kind of man that warrants that desirable woman to come into his life. Being the kind of man that someone would want to wake up next to on a daily basis and like I said whether your trying to fix a broken relationship or whether your out there looking for one The information is the same, the logic and strategy is the same. So anyway that's what we're up to today I am coming off the back of a little trip to the Brecon Beacons which is in Wales We are here in UK so that's like

02:36 Over there, I'm down south, southeast near London. The Brecon Beacons is all the way over there in the east southern Wales a very hilly beautiful countryside picturesque home of Penny Fan which is the second highest peak in Wales. I don't know where that puts it in the whole of the UK or the world but Penny Fans about 900 feet or something The Jonnie Jensen Show,

03:19 But that's why this podcast is a little bit delayed this week, it's live stream wherever you're watching and wherever you are coming from. Thank you for being here my name is Jonnie Jensen I am the head coach and founder of The High Value Man Project we are here to lift men up so they can be the man that they want to be creating the life that they desire for themselves in their health, physical emotional mental health money and work The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen Show,

04:13 The The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen Show,

05:08 It's so poignant, it's where we can be so focused on it. Now if any of this resonates with you If you want to take yourself and your life up to the next level To really take control of who you are and the results you're creating Then come get involved first and foremost through The High Value Man Basecamp Go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash base camp no no forward slash group And that will get you in there Basecamp will work as well Go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group and that will get you in at the base camp level we've got

05:44 The U2.0 Programme in there and it's basically an entry level space for men to get some complimentary assets, some tools, some resources but also find out more about what it takes to get involved in the High Value Man Project whether that be the Inner Circle or 8 Week Accelerators, The Lodge Weekend, the one-on-one work that Men do with me... It's all available to you You've got to ask yourself the question, am I creating the life that i truly desire? Am I being the man that I want to be. If you don't know the answer those questions or you feel like it's not happening then that's what we're exactly here for too many men are suffering and struggling through life and that is what The High Value Man Project is here to stop now back to today's subject how to find a high quality woman It's a bit of a flipped

06:41 Introduction, a little bit of a flipped title. Very good for SEO because that's the kind of thing that people search for but the answer isn't necessarily what men search for and there was a couple of inspirations around this conversation today you can imagine I'm inside lots of Facebook groups it and i talk about this a lot right is bleak as fuck oh my gosh men like its no wonder divorce rates are so high The Jonnie Jensen Show,

07:36 Through learned experiences, myself going through life but also through education. Through 25 years of study into personal development psychology relationships parenting masculinity like so that journey has enabled me to condense this down and to give it to you now when I see men inside these groups there was one guy today He was lamenting how every woman he ends up with is an utter narcissist and a complete nightmare. And why can't I find a good woman? So let's focus on that topic, right? He's not unique in saying that there are various versions of it. I'm not even a big fan of the word narcissism. I think I have got enough experience to be able to speak from an educated perspective but

08:29 But people throw this around too easily. You know, especially women love to you know historically love to talk about their difficult partners as narcissists but now increasingly I see it flipped round and men talking about how their partner is a narcissist and how they've suffered at the hands of a narcissist believe me! You can easily find yourself in a relationship with someone possibly with narcissistic tendencies Whether they are truly a narcissist, that's you know medical term it's psychological state. Not everyone is actually going to be that person and actually a narcissist can't do anything about it what they say about being in the relationship with narcissists is the best thing to do is get out of here. You can't possibly hope to change it

09:18 I'm not going to get into what is the definition of a narcissistic relationship, but when you find yourself in a no-win situation where everything you try seems to get flipped back onto you as some kind of fault. The exact thing that where you feel like you're being let down and that person flips around and puts it back on onto you where one minute they'll be all over you and seemingly like The perfect person, the relationship you are hoping to find. But then because they've given you that they then come in there and next element comes into it. They want something in return or they wanna let you down so that you feel completely crushed and lost so that they can have you chasing after them again. That's sort of the rudimentary basis of a narcissistic relationship

10:08 But the interesting thing is that a broken relationship will also start to manifest itself as lots of in lots of those ways like a couple taking it out on each other. The reason I've gone through that is Men will crumble under that weight and as they crumble, they will stop being themselves. They will start chasing that woman and trying to do enough to make them fall in love with him or to make them like him, to make them have sex with him, to make them be more the way he wants them to be... They won't be! The reason you give space for that to happen is you stop being yourself You stop having your own passions and interests and hobbies

10:52 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen Who knows what? Mountain biking. I want to say like war enactments, right but i bet there's not many women that go to those things who knows maybe there isn't but the point is and where this subject comes from finding a quote we get what we get back what we put out like we attract what we know that what who we are like who you are is what you'll get more of in return like it's mirrored so

11:48 Going out and doing the kind of things that you enjoy, the likelihood is that you're gonna start to meet people there. You're going to start to build connections with women there very different than going out and pursuing someone going out actively dating like hunting someone down in both scenarios How you show up is going to matter. Being whole and complete, having your life in order being fit and strong healthy mentally physically emotionally having your life in order in you know having a balance of friends and family of work contacts and commitments like you are literally setting the scene for a decent woman to show up it's an attractive proposition

12:36 Who you're being when you've created that for yourself and your life is grounded, is confident, is at peace. And so many of the men that comment in these different Facebook groups or put a long post up about what they're missing and why it's not fair and how they deserve better... It's only when you start to dig into the comments and replies that you see who their being isn't that clear Comes back to the old adage, if you stand for nothing... If you stand for nothing, you fall for everything. There we go! And it's a very similar thing like if you're not clear about who you are then you're going to attract all this random

13:30 Women basically, and particularly people women that are you know prey on that men who aren't very many men who are weak. Basically nice guys I Sky syndrome they will pray on that and be attracted to you because your broken you're going to attract broken women so need to be conscious of not wandering around getting off topic here The way that you find a high quality woman is that you be really clear about who you are and what you stand for. Then, you start to put your life in place around that and then you start to show up in areas where she might be and that attracts that person to you. Point number two is the myth of deserving a good woman or the idea that there is the one out like no man is entitled to meet or find a good woman. No man

14:33 You should expect that a good woman will appreciate all that he's done and basically be subservient to him. Like, do you know what I've done for you? A lot of the men that i see in these groups lamenting the fact they can't find someone they talk about...I've created all this she should there should be a woman out there who wants this why don't they appreciate that and again this is where it comes Back down to the idea that you're creating all this wealth or creating all this fitness or being a really spiritual person in order that she'll be attracted to you. That kind of deservedness, the entitlement is the word I'm really looking there as a really toxic energy and energy is something that you need to be tuned into because the kind of energy that your putting out will attract

15:27 The kind of woman into you. Broken men find broken partners, male or female gay or straight right? An entitlement is part that. You don't deserve someone it's what your putting in place for yourself and for them to step into so an ideal partner is a bonus in your life which probably the next point we'll come on too So this guy today, he was talking in the comments right and not everything was stacking up. He was talking about all the work that he'd done on himself. He was talking about... he was fit and healthy had a recent operation where he struggled a bit but he was getting back on track. He was talking about his home and things that he liked doing so none of it really stacked up but then it came to this point about this guy asked him what were his non-negotiables? And

16:25 This is where I ended up pointing out to him that i didn't think he really understood or knew women that well. So what he put down as his non-negotiables were, in amongst other things some of which are pretty valid about fitness and interest and stuff like that yeah all spot on He then went on to say she's not allowed to have any male friends Not allowed to have any male friends and nor is she allowed to communicate with any of her exes. Which when questioned naturally went on for him being about how she could not have any children, and this guy was like 41 so there was a lot of control around what he was saying there And for me that wasn't about healthy boundaries

17:21 It was a fear disguised as a boundary. It didn't really lack any kind of trust and respect inside of our relationship now I've been part of churches where they talked about the risks of having Male friends, you know female friends. I'm talking to us guys are the risk of having female friends if you were married and that didn't really work for me right because what did it suggest? I can't control myself that I'm walking around with my cock in my hand being like who wants some of this right like no I've got lots of amazing female friends To be in a relationship with someone who's going to have that much control over you is not healthy

18:08 So why would he expect to find a balanced, strong grounded loving woman who's going to want to have that much control put around him? I don't think it's healthy or modern. You don't think it's right in 2025 what it also suggested for me was that he didn't really know women that well so what is your female friendships like? What are your connections with your mom and your sisters your cousin like how well do you know women Because if you don't really know the nature of women and then you're going out there with all these expectations about how they should be, or if she's not this and she doesn't do that then she is a narcissist. No! Maybe she's just a woman maybe she's gonna have good days and bad days maybe someday she's gonna need a bit space and not have you expected to pick things up from her for her or be there when you need it That's not a narcissist I gotta be honest

19:11 But him to be saying those kind of things was far more narcissistic than he actually realized. The irony was completely lost on him so you can see inside of these different areas like a healthy level of understanding and knowledge of women, a healthy level The next element of this, which is actually you know we're talking very much here about the 3XC from the High Value Man Project. The next element is encourage

19:53 Courage is having no sense of blame or frustration or regret, you know past trauma that's given you experience in the present. If your dragging all that stuff with you, f***ing women this I'm not finding another one like that screw her! Like if your bringing it into a new relationship then energy that you've got is going to have some kind of stink about it which just goes back to broken people attract broken people get back what you put out Who you're being matters. So if you haven't let go of all that stuff, and this guy was talking about the deep levels of therapy that he'd been into I read so much about men in therapy man in therapy I've got to get over this trauma I've gotta let go of all this past To some degree we all have a past and if you haven't done the work then it's useful to be able to process it to get over it If you've been through a breakup or some kind

20:52 The Jonnie Jensen Show, The teenage rollercoaster that I went on. Then some kind of cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful because it can help you understand the way that you think, it can help you see oh my gosh making this mean that did not mean that then happened next. This guy put in his post about love hurting You know, like how can you hope to go out and find a relationship when your concept of love is that it hurts? Well guess what. You're going to find more people who make love mean hurt! You get back what you put out so if you haven't given up again... To reiterate I don't think you need years and years of therapy to be able to do this if you haven't given up your past

21:50 You haven't reframed it as I had to be, had to go through that to become the man. I need to be...I have to go through that in order that i'm going to show up ready for the perfect relationship is gonna come along down the line its gonna come along next Then you can't possibly hope to attract the kind of woman that you desire. You can't possibly hope to have healthy expectations from that relationship and when things do meet a pinch point or struggle, you can't possibly hope to react in the kind of way that a healthy relationship requires. You've got to have the courage to give up your past so you see finding the perfect... well there's no such thing as a perfect woman but finding a high quality woman is about YOU

22:37 It is about the man you're being and the way that you are showing up. Build that life first if you haven't got that is not all about money and status right it's about who you're being because you can show up as confident and creative in enterprising entrepreneurial, grounded positive. You can show up with that person without having a million pounds of dollars in the bank without having to be careful so the car on the driveway It's who you're being in the present moment, whether things are going well or not going so well that matters. So put that into place be clear on the kind of life that you want and start to create it start to move towards it but in the knowledge and structures in place being in the right places to meet the kind of people you wanna me and do the kinda thing that you wanna do right?

23:34 Then the courage, second C in the 3xC formula is to give up that past. To give up the experiences of the past that oh I am the way that i am and im never gonna find someone because...to let that go! Be present in the moment of yes a wonderful woman would want to be part of this I'm not going to react when something doesn't go the way i want and shout at her or be demanding. I'm not gonna let jealousy have it be that she's not allowed to have any male friends, or some other bollocks like that! And then the final C in 3xC commitment is courage sorry its commitment The 3XC formula for living is commitment how you're showing up each day how you're living your life now you are

24:25 Building something that somebody wants to be part of where she becomes the bonus on top of it not the foundation in which you build everything else. These kind of expectations and demands are completely upside down, You don't want a woman to be the foundation in your life is too much pressure and expectation on what you want her to be the bonus in your life so that when you When you meet, when you start to talk about who you are and what you created it seems exciting to her to become and be part of that. You can then measure how well she fits into that on the basis of look what I've created look how I'm functioning week-to-week look at what my hobbies and interests are look at the people I surround myself with if she fits seamlessly into all that then she's probably a good fit for you by the way

25:22 You need to be a good fit for her as well. It's a completely different subject, but if she hasn't got all this stuff in place either and you don't fit neatly into that then that should be another red flag so I hope what i'm illustrating is that finding a high quality woman is nothing about searching her out. That comes when you're in the position of creating the life that YOU deserve and then SHE will enter into it These men in all these groups lamenting how there's no good women in life, in the world. I really want to challenge them to start by looking in the mirror first of all and realizing that there are plenty of high quality women There are plenty of good women that want a good man If they're not showing up in your life consider that the only consistent element in all of these women is you So rather than deciding that all women are shit

26:20 You probably want to start with the reflection, the personal reflection on what you need to be in order to attract a high quality woman. If don't attract what you want, you attract who you are! That's a bit of a mic drop that I hope i want to leave you with today and like I said at the beginning this might have come across as oh how does a guy who single go out and find a woman? It's really important for you to realize that if your relationship is suffering And you haven't got all these elements in place that you've stopped being the man that she fell in love with, that you've got no real purpose or direction or connections or mission. No real adventure and fun peace in your life then why would that be attractive? How can you hold her to account and say what are we creating here how can you invite a fresh start if you've got nothing to offer nothing for someone to want to step into so in terms of your existing relationship

27:23 Get honest with yourself first and foremost, and then get honest with her. I think i've let things drift, I think things have got off track, I think it's time for a fresh chapter would you like to create that with me? Not enough men invite their partners into do that they go from the place of your doing something wrong I need you to change That is not how it works! It's not how you create a fresh start so Where do we go from here? As I said at the beginning, you want to get yourself into the High Value Man Base Camp. We have a tool for people in a relationship and men in a relationship called the High Value Man Relationship Reset Conversation. If you want that then comment on reset

28:06 Or DM me, Reset and I'll get you access to that. If you're a single dad looking to rebuild after his breakup then it's exactly the same except you want to comment Rebuild and we'll get you the support direction to create the life that you deserve fundamentally Get yourself into The High Value Man Base Camp where all of this will be available to you And where we can invite you to become part of The Inner Circle attend one of the eight week accelerators And if it suits you, then to come and be one of my one-on-one clients inside the High Value Man Elite. High quality women want a good man! If you can't find one then start by looking in the mirror I hope this has been of value please like and share it. I have once again forgotten to go and check the reviews and do review of the week so that is that is my bad what you do know is though there'll be another podcast coming out pretty soon after this one because

29:06 I hope it's been of value. Please share it with other men in your life, let's get this message out to as many men as possible to transform the experience that men are having in their life too keep families together to reduce the rate of male suicide and first and foremost to see men thriving strong confident happy man around the world. See you next time! Let's go Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow dads! Creating the life you deserve starts with YOU. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go